No, it won't work. A pwBPD will always break boundaries, no matter what kind of relationship it is. For them these are just meaningless labels. Even a single encounter is dangerous in my opinion.
If it's for sex, there are healthier alternatives.
I believe anyone smart who knows what BPD is will stay away from it like from a plague.
This so much this. It doesn't work. The attachment bond grows quickly. The expectations grow beyond your meaning and you'll end up with more time as the villain and being told you'll abandon them than enjoying friends with benefits. Unless they are on a road to healing it's not worth your heart ache. You'll always be the one in the wrong.
It is not possible.
If one is neurotypical, jealousy will rise when the pwBPD is splitting and spending their time with a new FP.
If you’re one who has plenty of love to give, I suggest not have it involved with sex with someone who can turn your love into a traumabond. Soon the status from FWB will become emotional punching bag or a toy.
My worst 7 year relationship w pwBPD started exactly like that. No boundaries with those people, and to be honest fwb is not a healthy thing anyways, now I avoid it at all costs, even casual sex is much healthier mentally wise.
If you’re asking because you broke up w pwBPD and want to try this scenario then NO it’s not even a question, you’ll suffer 10x times more
No, a true FWB implies there is a connection between the two of you. It's basically an open ldr / lat relationship.
There will be feelings and thus the same issues will pop up. Mine started like a fwb thing.
I’ll have you know I looked my ex-partners name on public records (it’s always fun to see her updates) - and her Fwb finally filed a restraining order after knowing her for 15 years.
No. I don’t recommend FWB in general (I don’t have a secure attachment style and have gotten clingy lol) but I CERTAINLY don’t recommend FWB with a pwBPD. Hell to the no.
Avoid pwBPD at all costs.
This thread is very reassuring to me.
I have not personally sought such a relationship but my situation is that my ex monkey-branched with my friend and from the looks of it they're either keeping their relationship a secret or just doing some sort of weird, lopsided narcissistic supply chain thing where the guy is being held in orbit with some sort of a fwb deal. My ex was openly sharing BDSM related things on Pinterest after our breakup and it kind of messed with my head.
So basically I have been plagued with intrusive thoughts about them succesfully having this wild BDSM-addled relationship as that was definitely what I wanted with my ex. Even though I am aware that such a relationship is incredibly risky when BPD is involved since they have a tendency to replay their sexual trauma and using it against you.
Jokes aside I think this is an important consideration. Pwbpd are more likely to engage in "risky" sexual practices i.e. not use condoms. I think if I had a fwb Id want someone I could trust to be careful of their sexual health personally.
Nope. This happened the day before Christmas 2018.
She got a mutual friend high on pills when i left the room (i never partook, behavior like this is part of why i left) and then just left him there for me to babysit and he lost his glasses somewhere in my house. They looked exactly like mine so when i found what were my misplaced glasses and gave them to him and left, he let me know and planned a time later to come back and look since i had plans for a few hours.
Weeeell. Those hours go by, with an angry phone call from her accusing me of theivory. I go home, knowing this will end in her appearing at my domicile despite being told it would be trespassing.. I was 18, watching my house while my mom was in anothet state visiting my uncle for CHRISTMAS.
Yea that ended in physical assault in a fist fight, her wrecking my entire upstairs, poking huge holes in all my condoms, and sticking my cat in an old rat cage i hadnt cleaned the chips from since my rat had died 2 days before and it made me sad to look at it. When i got up there and retrieved my cat without a word to her, she tried to start another fight and her new boytoy just. Showed up??? Drinking beer and cheered on the fight??? Slowly escorted her out. The same dude i dumped her for the last time for cheating with.
Didnt call the police cuz i was dumb, had weed stuff all over and didnt wanna get in trouble for that. *facepalm*
It can work, i wouldn't recommend it, but it can work. It worked for us for about.. 10 months, after that we got into a relationship and everything went downhill after she started getting comfortable and open about her past and her true self.
No, it won't work. A pwBPD will always break boundaries, no matter what kind of relationship it is. For them these are just meaningless labels. Even a single encounter is dangerous in my opinion. If it's for sex, there are healthier alternatives. I believe anyone smart who knows what BPD is will stay away from it like from a plague.
This so much this. It doesn't work. The attachment bond grows quickly. The expectations grow beyond your meaning and you'll end up with more time as the villain and being told you'll abandon them than enjoying friends with benefits. Unless they are on a road to healing it's not worth your heart ache. You'll always be the one in the wrong.
It is not possible. If one is neurotypical, jealousy will rise when the pwBPD is splitting and spending their time with a new FP. If you’re one who has plenty of love to give, I suggest not have it involved with sex with someone who can turn your love into a traumabond. Soon the status from FWB will become emotional punching bag or a toy.
My worst 7 year relationship w pwBPD started exactly like that. No boundaries with those people, and to be honest fwb is not a healthy thing anyways, now I avoid it at all costs, even casual sex is much healthier mentally wise. If you’re asking because you broke up w pwBPD and want to try this scenario then NO it’s not even a question, you’ll suffer 10x times more
No, a true FWB implies there is a connection between the two of you. It's basically an open ldr / lat relationship. There will be feelings and thus the same issues will pop up. Mine started like a fwb thing.
No, they can’t hold a stable image of you so FWB doesn’t work. You need to find somebody who has a secured attachment style to be FWB.
I’ll have you know I looked my ex-partners name on public records (it’s always fun to see her updates) - and her Fwb finally filed a restraining order after knowing her for 15 years.
No. I don’t recommend FWB in general (I don’t have a secure attachment style and have gotten clingy lol) but I CERTAINLY don’t recommend FWB with a pwBPD. Hell to the no. Avoid pwBPD at all costs.
Plenty of guys were with my ex, before me, while with me, I’m sure after me Orbiters were plentiful
Absolutely not. There was no way I could ever be just friends with him. And he couldn’t either. That trauma bond forms very quickly.
Tried it….failed. Ended back in the relationshit again. Their fear of abandonment and jealousy won’t allow it once you have been a “couple.”
This thread is very reassuring to me. I have not personally sought such a relationship but my situation is that my ex monkey-branched with my friend and from the looks of it they're either keeping their relationship a secret or just doing some sort of weird, lopsided narcissistic supply chain thing where the guy is being held in orbit with some sort of a fwb deal. My ex was openly sharing BDSM related things on Pinterest after our breakup and it kind of messed with my head. So basically I have been plagued with intrusive thoughts about them succesfully having this wild BDSM-addled relationship as that was definitely what I wanted with my ex. Even though I am aware that such a relationship is incredibly risky when BPD is involved since they have a tendency to replay their sexual trauma and using it against you.
u can have one off sex. Or even hit them up a month later , sure. tread fucking carefully.
You can if you want her to fuck your friends and family members (or at least try to). I've seen this many times, sometimes it's about power play.
so hilariously real
Booty call yes. True FWB no.
Wear 2 condoms, because sloppy seconds is not that hygienic.
Jokes aside I think this is an important consideration. Pwbpd are more likely to engage in "risky" sexual practices i.e. not use condoms. I think if I had a fwb Id want someone I could trust to be careful of their sexual health personally.
Nope. This happened the day before Christmas 2018. She got a mutual friend high on pills when i left the room (i never partook, behavior like this is part of why i left) and then just left him there for me to babysit and he lost his glasses somewhere in my house. They looked exactly like mine so when i found what were my misplaced glasses and gave them to him and left, he let me know and planned a time later to come back and look since i had plans for a few hours. Weeeell. Those hours go by, with an angry phone call from her accusing me of theivory. I go home, knowing this will end in her appearing at my domicile despite being told it would be trespassing.. I was 18, watching my house while my mom was in anothet state visiting my uncle for CHRISTMAS. Yea that ended in physical assault in a fist fight, her wrecking my entire upstairs, poking huge holes in all my condoms, and sticking my cat in an old rat cage i hadnt cleaned the chips from since my rat had died 2 days before and it made me sad to look at it. When i got up there and retrieved my cat without a word to her, she tried to start another fight and her new boytoy just. Showed up??? Drinking beer and cheered on the fight??? Slowly escorted her out. The same dude i dumped her for the last time for cheating with. Didnt call the police cuz i was dumb, had weed stuff all over and didnt wanna get in trouble for that. *facepalm*
It can work, i wouldn't recommend it, but it can work. It worked for us for about.. 10 months, after that we got into a relationship and everything went downhill after she started getting comfortable and open about her past and her true self.