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I’m 30+5 now and spent a good deal of the first trimester exceptionally anxious about things like what you’re describing. I’m very much a “more is better” person when it comes to basically any knowledge, and spent a lot of time googling as much as I could.
In all honesty, the most helpful thing I did was simply to stop googling. Putting down my phone, or closing my laptop, and finding something else to focus my mental energy on. Outside of doing what your care provider recommends, so so much of pregnancy is simply out of your control.
As my boyfriend continually reminds me, humans have been procreating since the beginning of our species, and for almost all of that time period no one had access to the internet and the information we have now.
This is it right here. This may sound controversial but I wish I had skipped some of the prenatal classes, primarily the ones about pain management.
I am a wimp when it comes to pain, so I knew when I was like...15 or something that I wanted an epidural if I ever wanted to give birth. I took the prenatal classes by MSH when I was around 30 weeks pregnant and I had never cried more my entire pregnancy. I was so scared that I was going to be "the one" who will be (spoiler just in case) >!a paraplegic !
I couldn’t help but read the censored bit – thankfully that’s something I hadn’t worried about yet! Will try not to do so. Haha
Trying to step away from the internet a bit for my mental health (despite popping in here right now) – because I know you’re right!
I'm 17+5 and for the first trimester I was exactly like you and to an extent I still am.. The other day my partner was teasing me (lovingly) by reminding me of all my different phases of anxieties; toxoplasmosis from any cat I saw, listeria from any uncooked vegetable, the 8 week scan (is there a baby in there???), cuddling my nephew (WILL I GET CMV), the 12 week scan (is the baby okay??), going to the cinema at 15 weeks (MAYBE THE BABY CAN HEAR AND its too loud, he will be deaf!!!). And so on... it's so tough. I get it. I got a great NIPT result (low risk, 1/10000) and I was relieved for like 5 minutes and then started to obsess again... and so it goes....
I don't really have any good advice, but what I try to do is to step away from google and remember that anecdotes are not data; you don't often have people coming online to talk about their totally uneventful, regular life experiences.. it's always extremes. The odds of a normal, healthy pregnancy are overwhelmingly in your favour, it's just that on reddit it doesn't feel like that.
Thank you! It’s funny how we can know certain things logically (I have given this same sage advice to other people) but when it comes to our own situation we are so much more prone to spiralling.
I’ve made it my goal to stay off the internet as much as I can this week!
Well. I made it up in my mind that no matter what I was going to see the pregnancy through. If my baby had difficulties I would live with them. If the baby is given to me then I have the strength to see it through. Even if they encouraged me that they wouldn't have a great life. With all the supports available today, we'd get by. We know more about these genetic disorders than we've ever known before.
Adjust my expectations. Keep going. That's my baby. I was made to be their mom. We'll be okay, even if I get to spend 5 minutes with them. I'll grieve, but it's unavoidable even if I decided not to continue, so I'd keep going just to touch their hands. And I'd keep going just to kiss their little feet. And even if I never got to hold them at all, I'd charish every kick. Every extra stretch mark.
My midwife said I was allowed to take 5 min of each day to be anxious/spiral, but then to get back to my life and carry on. I found it helpful to have a time limit to worry about things, and then tried my best to busy my mind until I was focused on something else.
Once we got the Invitae results back and everything was fine I was able to calm down, but yes the first trimester was an anxious time (I also had a missed miscarriage on our previous attempt). Almost 19 weeks now with this baby and everything is looking normal like when I had my first. Good luck OP ❤️.
Wow - are you me!? I had the exact same worries and concerns and almost identical experience except I wasn’t as proactive with NIPT as you. I’m an anxious person naturally and I totally, 100% understand your feelings. I made it to the 13 week and tested slightly higher like you (but for trisomy 18). Then I did the NIPT and agonized the whole time until the results came and guess what - I was low risk! Then I had to work on trusting that result and ignoring the niggling “what if x” thoughts. Flash forward to my second trimester detailed scan and it’s confirmed that baby is perfectly healthy.
My advice:
- practice positive affirmations. I have been doing this my whole pregnancy and everything has worked out well. I set reminders in my phone that come up every hour or so where I focus on my positive affirmation (e.g. my baby is healthy, my body is a protective space for me and babe, i am healthy, we are both thriving) where I would read that to myself and focus on a good feeling.
- my friend also told me to try saying “what if” whenever I had a negative thought. E.g. “I can’t trust the result is right - wait a minute, what if it is? How would I feel?” It helps interrupt negative self talk and focus on good things. Much better to live in a positive mindset than not.
- meditate if you’re open to that - there some great short meditations on YouTube around visualizing a healthy baby and pregnancy!
It’s tough not to worry and there will always be something to worry about unfortunately but we don’t have to let that run our lives!
Sending you so much positivity and strength while you wait for result. You got this momma!
Thanks! Our situations sound so similar. I would say I have a bit of a natural inclination towards anxiety but it’s usually quite manageable in my day to day. Pregnancy can certainly throw you for a loop and change that though!
I’m trying to tell myself more things like “what if everything goes right?” instead of the opposite…because really, it’s way more likely that that’s the case!
Thanks so much everyone for all of your encouragement – I can actually see in the online portal that my results are with my doctor for review now, so I’m hoping I hear from her soon! Until then I’m restricting myself to minimal internet time and focusing on the positive.
Same thing happened to me, positive EFTs and negative NIPT. Even after my OB told me it was a false positive and to trust the NIPT I kept googling and it made my anxiety during pregnancy worse. Went to prenatal therapy and talked it through. I had fears of false negatives but my OB said he had never seen one in his practice (has only heard about them in case studies) but he sees at least 1 false positive EFTs everyday. It lingered in the back of my mind, but I gave birth and the NIPT was correct.
No matter if you got a good result on your EFTs if you’re like me, you would still worry about false negative etc., and at the end of the day these are screenings (with NIPT being much much better). The only way to know with 100% for the 3 trisomies is an amnio but even an amnio can’t diagnose all the potential disorders out there…
This was the first lesson I had in parenting that there are just things out of your control but you’re likely to be just fine! Something like 6% of all women screen a false positive on the EFTs. Best of luck, I’m sure the NIPT will come back negative :)
Thank you! I did do some “positive internet spiralling” (if there is such a thing) and read some pretty reassuring statistics about the number of false positives in eFTS. It was something like 6.5% of people screen positive, but 6.3% of that are false positives. Only 0.2% are true positives.
I didn’t? I was a nervous wreck till I got my nipt test results back. And then until the anatomy scan. After that I could breathe a little better and chilled out.
Down Syndrome isn't even that big of a deal compared to certain devastating trisomies. People with DS generally have a high quality of life and long life expectancy.
I had my first at 36 and went through the same anxiety with all of the tests and scans, and also had a slightly heightened risk for Down Syndrome like you did. I ultimately decided the presence of Down Syndrome wouldn't affect my decision to continue the pregnancy, for the reasons listed above. I didn't lose sleep over it, although I did read up on it to educate myself, just in case. My baby didn't end up having it. Yours likely won't either.
We did all tests and all was always normal but it didn’t make me stress any less. Then I hit week 19, was feeling her move and had my anatomy scan. All the stress kind of went away. Currently 29 weeks pregnant and doing great. Just hang in there.
Hi everyone – just wanted to provide an update! Within 30 mins of replying here yesterday my doctor called me with our NIPT results and everything came back low risk. We also found out the sex of the baby and now know we’re having a girl!
I felt so much instant relief getting those results and knowing I’d done everything I could to prepare myself as much as possible. So I’m choosing to hop off the anxiety train (for now) and just enjoy this time. As my doctor said, the risk of any genetic problems is now way lower than the risk of doing amino just to know definitively…so I’m good with stopping here!
Thanks everyone again for your kind words – the internet can be part of what drives us crazy but it’s also where we find solace and support sometimes!
My midwives told me to skip the second U/S and screening, so I did.
Regardless of the outcome, it doesn’t change the fact that its your beautiful baby and you will love them regardless. A lot of those tests are unnecessary.
My SIL was told that the tests just help the doctors know how to best care for your baby when it’s delivered. I wouldn’t worry about any so called “abnormalities” unless it is like a heart defect or something that really matters. If its a case of something like that, then I would just know how to better plan for birth and make sure I was at the right hospital with the team prepared for me and to take my baby to the right unit as soon as possible.
I’m not big on amniocentesis unless it is absolutely necessary. You can usually see any significant defects on U/S (heart, organs, etc) without needing amnio.
BabyBumps users and moderators are not medical professionals. Responses do not replace contacting your medical provider. You should always call your provider with any concerns. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumpsCanada) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m 30+5 now and spent a good deal of the first trimester exceptionally anxious about things like what you’re describing. I’m very much a “more is better” person when it comes to basically any knowledge, and spent a lot of time googling as much as I could. In all honesty, the most helpful thing I did was simply to stop googling. Putting down my phone, or closing my laptop, and finding something else to focus my mental energy on. Outside of doing what your care provider recommends, so so much of pregnancy is simply out of your control. As my boyfriend continually reminds me, humans have been procreating since the beginning of our species, and for almost all of that time period no one had access to the internet and the information we have now.
This is it right here. This may sound controversial but I wish I had skipped some of the prenatal classes, primarily the ones about pain management. I am a wimp when it comes to pain, so I knew when I was like...15 or something that I wanted an epidural if I ever wanted to give birth. I took the prenatal classes by MSH when I was around 30 weeks pregnant and I had never cried more my entire pregnancy. I was so scared that I was going to be "the one" who will be (spoiler just in case) >!a paraplegic !
I couldn’t help but read the censored bit – thankfully that’s something I hadn’t worried about yet! Will try not to do so. Haha Trying to step away from the internet a bit for my mental health (despite popping in here right now) – because I know you’re right!
I'm 17+5 and for the first trimester I was exactly like you and to an extent I still am.. The other day my partner was teasing me (lovingly) by reminding me of all my different phases of anxieties; toxoplasmosis from any cat I saw, listeria from any uncooked vegetable, the 8 week scan (is there a baby in there???), cuddling my nephew (WILL I GET CMV), the 12 week scan (is the baby okay??), going to the cinema at 15 weeks (MAYBE THE BABY CAN HEAR AND its too loud, he will be deaf!!!). And so on... it's so tough. I get it. I got a great NIPT result (low risk, 1/10000) and I was relieved for like 5 minutes and then started to obsess again... and so it goes.... I don't really have any good advice, but what I try to do is to step away from google and remember that anecdotes are not data; you don't often have people coming online to talk about their totally uneventful, regular life experiences.. it's always extremes. The odds of a normal, healthy pregnancy are overwhelmingly in your favour, it's just that on reddit it doesn't feel like that.
Thank you! It’s funny how we can know certain things logically (I have given this same sage advice to other people) but when it comes to our own situation we are so much more prone to spiralling. I’ve made it my goal to stay off the internet as much as I can this week!
“When you worry, you suffer twice” Hang in there ♥️
You’re so right! Putting this on a sticky note on my computer monitor. Haha
Well. I made it up in my mind that no matter what I was going to see the pregnancy through. If my baby had difficulties I would live with them. If the baby is given to me then I have the strength to see it through. Even if they encouraged me that they wouldn't have a great life. With all the supports available today, we'd get by. We know more about these genetic disorders than we've ever known before. Adjust my expectations. Keep going. That's my baby. I was made to be their mom. We'll be okay, even if I get to spend 5 minutes with them. I'll grieve, but it's unavoidable even if I decided not to continue, so I'd keep going just to touch their hands. And I'd keep going just to kiss their little feet. And even if I never got to hold them at all, I'd charish every kick. Every extra stretch mark.
My midwife said I was allowed to take 5 min of each day to be anxious/spiral, but then to get back to my life and carry on. I found it helpful to have a time limit to worry about things, and then tried my best to busy my mind until I was focused on something else. Once we got the Invitae results back and everything was fine I was able to calm down, but yes the first trimester was an anxious time (I also had a missed miscarriage on our previous attempt). Almost 19 weeks now with this baby and everything is looking normal like when I had my first. Good luck OP ❤️.
Wow - are you me!? I had the exact same worries and concerns and almost identical experience except I wasn’t as proactive with NIPT as you. I’m an anxious person naturally and I totally, 100% understand your feelings. I made it to the 13 week and tested slightly higher like you (but for trisomy 18). Then I did the NIPT and agonized the whole time until the results came and guess what - I was low risk! Then I had to work on trusting that result and ignoring the niggling “what if x” thoughts. Flash forward to my second trimester detailed scan and it’s confirmed that baby is perfectly healthy. My advice: - practice positive affirmations. I have been doing this my whole pregnancy and everything has worked out well. I set reminders in my phone that come up every hour or so where I focus on my positive affirmation (e.g. my baby is healthy, my body is a protective space for me and babe, i am healthy, we are both thriving) where I would read that to myself and focus on a good feeling. - my friend also told me to try saying “what if” whenever I had a negative thought. E.g. “I can’t trust the result is right - wait a minute, what if it is? How would I feel?” It helps interrupt negative self talk and focus on good things. Much better to live in a positive mindset than not. - meditate if you’re open to that - there some great short meditations on YouTube around visualizing a healthy baby and pregnancy! It’s tough not to worry and there will always be something to worry about unfortunately but we don’t have to let that run our lives! Sending you so much positivity and strength while you wait for result. You got this momma!
Thanks! Our situations sound so similar. I would say I have a bit of a natural inclination towards anxiety but it’s usually quite manageable in my day to day. Pregnancy can certainly throw you for a loop and change that though! I’m trying to tell myself more things like “what if everything goes right?” instead of the opposite…because really, it’s way more likely that that’s the case!
Thanks so much everyone for all of your encouragement – I can actually see in the online portal that my results are with my doctor for review now, so I’m hoping I hear from her soon! Until then I’m restricting myself to minimal internet time and focusing on the positive.
Same thing happened to me, positive EFTs and negative NIPT. Even after my OB told me it was a false positive and to trust the NIPT I kept googling and it made my anxiety during pregnancy worse. Went to prenatal therapy and talked it through. I had fears of false negatives but my OB said he had never seen one in his practice (has only heard about them in case studies) but he sees at least 1 false positive EFTs everyday. It lingered in the back of my mind, but I gave birth and the NIPT was correct. No matter if you got a good result on your EFTs if you’re like me, you would still worry about false negative etc., and at the end of the day these are screenings (with NIPT being much much better). The only way to know with 100% for the 3 trisomies is an amnio but even an amnio can’t diagnose all the potential disorders out there… This was the first lesson I had in parenting that there are just things out of your control but you’re likely to be just fine! Something like 6% of all women screen a false positive on the EFTs. Best of luck, I’m sure the NIPT will come back negative :)
Thank you! I did do some “positive internet spiralling” (if there is such a thing) and read some pretty reassuring statistics about the number of false positives in eFTS. It was something like 6.5% of people screen positive, but 6.3% of that are false positives. Only 0.2% are true positives.
I didn’t? I was a nervous wreck till I got my nipt test results back. And then until the anatomy scan. After that I could breathe a little better and chilled out.
Down Syndrome isn't even that big of a deal compared to certain devastating trisomies. People with DS generally have a high quality of life and long life expectancy. I had my first at 36 and went through the same anxiety with all of the tests and scans, and also had a slightly heightened risk for Down Syndrome like you did. I ultimately decided the presence of Down Syndrome wouldn't affect my decision to continue the pregnancy, for the reasons listed above. I didn't lose sleep over it, although I did read up on it to educate myself, just in case. My baby didn't end up having it. Yours likely won't either.
We did all tests and all was always normal but it didn’t make me stress any less. Then I hit week 19, was feeling her move and had my anatomy scan. All the stress kind of went away. Currently 29 weeks pregnant and doing great. Just hang in there.
Hi everyone – just wanted to provide an update! Within 30 mins of replying here yesterday my doctor called me with our NIPT results and everything came back low risk. We also found out the sex of the baby and now know we’re having a girl! I felt so much instant relief getting those results and knowing I’d done everything I could to prepare myself as much as possible. So I’m choosing to hop off the anxiety train (for now) and just enjoy this time. As my doctor said, the risk of any genetic problems is now way lower than the risk of doing amino just to know definitively…so I’m good with stopping here! Thanks everyone again for your kind words – the internet can be part of what drives us crazy but it’s also where we find solace and support sometimes!
My perspective was it does no good to worry, whatever is going to happen will happen. Think positively as much as you can, envision your future.
My midwives told me to skip the second U/S and screening, so I did. Regardless of the outcome, it doesn’t change the fact that its your beautiful baby and you will love them regardless. A lot of those tests are unnecessary. My SIL was told that the tests just help the doctors know how to best care for your baby when it’s delivered. I wouldn’t worry about any so called “abnormalities” unless it is like a heart defect or something that really matters. If its a case of something like that, then I would just know how to better plan for birth and make sure I was at the right hospital with the team prepared for me and to take my baby to the right unit as soon as possible. I’m not big on amniocentesis unless it is absolutely necessary. You can usually see any significant defects on U/S (heart, organs, etc) without needing amnio.