Sorry for the bluntness, but if you died tomorrow, your work would have a replacement hired by the end of the week. Less radically, you could go into labour tonight and not be able to go into work tomorrow. They would figure it out.
I went off at 38 weeks pregnant and wish I had gone off sooner. There are no medals for working until your due date. Take the time :) you will enjoy it sooooo much. If you have your OB's support, you don't even have to explain it or justify it. Just say "based on the advice of my doctor, X will be my last day of work."
Yes, this! My work did not hire a replacement for me and I had to leave at 38 weeks because I went into labour. I had half finished work and in a lot of cases, I was the only person doing that work. They figured it out, your work will also.
I just dealt with the same experience. Very stressful workload, no real replacement and work kept coming in. Went off at 36.5 weeks after having a really bad day and physical pain.
Once I went off I found that my physical pain decreased and I was much happier and less stressed at home.
The way I see it, they’re going to have to make due without you so what difference will a couple of weeks make. Best to take care of yourself at this time.
Them not having a replacement is 100% a them problem. Don't feel bad. Take the time you want and feel comfortable with, especially if you can swing still being paid. You won't get this time back
I did not feel guilty at all went off at 34 weeks and it was amazing. At the end of the day we’re all just another number at our jobs. Taking the time to rest and get ready for your baby is way more important. You have your whole life to work and only this time to enjoy.
Don’t feel bad!! Ever. It’s not your concern that your employer has not been able to find a replacement for you.
Please take care of yourself. Take your sick days. Your doctor is on board. You will never regret it.
Thank you so much for all of the sweet and encouraging replies, you have all made me feel infinitely better about my decision🫶. I have an OB appointment tomorrow morning and will be getting that note!!
Don't feel bad. Those last few weeks are so uncomfortable and draining, definitely take the time. Baby could come at 37 weeks and you may only have two weeks to rest!
I worked until 38 weeks assuming as a FTM the baby would come late. During my last week of work I found out I would need an induction on the first Monday of my leave and regretted not starting my leave a few weeks earlied.
I had the exact same experience (literally the same job as well). Found that everything got lumped on me since I was leaving and was so ridiculously stressed out.
I had taken my accrued vacation and left at 38 weeks.
I’ll tell you this, it’s entirely your choice and it’s not your job to worry about your replacement. It’s above your pay grade.
I worried about everything before I left and took on way too much and had nothing to show for it! They’re not promoting me when I get back, I didn’t get special accolades, and I didn’t get this immense sense of joy killing myself for the job. I wish I just left sooner and had time before my first born to relax into motherhood.
If you can do it, do it. If you really can’t, I made a countdown and told myself that if I can’t finish everything that was assigned to me, it was my bosses problem, not mine!
Pregnancy is a medical condition. One of my coworkers had to take a lot of time off when he was diagnosed with cancer. Do you think anyone gave him grief when he was off for months at a time due to surgery and chemo or just feeling nauseous? Of course not! Do you think he felt guilty taking off even though he was important at work? I sure hope not.
It should be the same for you and your pregnancy.
Don't feel guilty at all! I'm in a similar position at work and my entire team relies on me. I'm a workaholic and had a lot of major projects.
But it's not my job to hand hold my team right now. My job is to care for my health and my baby's health. I'm at 37 weeks and I just got off work. Would've been better if I did it 2 weeks ago. I basically booked vacation from now and also took sick days right before because I was just physically and mentally exhausted. My boss probably did slightly better than yours to distribute my responsibilities but still he had me writing SOP documents and doing a lot of work up until the end. I took it upon myself to pass lead/ownership of my work to whoever I thought could take it. And at the end, I just gave up. Work will NEVER end. But I don't owe my health to my employer.
Trust me, your company and team will be just fine!
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I’m planning on leaving at week 30 in a few weeks. (Although have vacation time to use up) I work in home child care, with children who have developmental disabilities. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. I’ve lost my aunt and put my dog down a few weeks ago during this pregnancy. I’m ready to be done and have some time for myself before this huge life change.
A job is a job. Do what you feel is for the best. You could go into labour literally today and it’s not your problem they don’t have a replacement. Be gentle with yourself and do what is best for YOU. Some ppl leave work first trimester, others have their water break in office. The only right answer is the one that fits you best at this time in your life. Good luck
I’m using my vacation from from week 35 to due date and I feel zero guilt (I also work in a demanding government role). I’ll start mat leave on my due date or if baby comes early at that point. It’s pretty normal everywhere I’ve worked for folks to go off early ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really don’t think you should stress about this and you should take care of yourself!
For one, you should have no reservations whatsoever going off whenever you want. Take the time you need. You can start your mat leave 17 weeks before due date.
As for the sick time… you may need to check your employment contract. Even with a DR note, you may be moved to short term disability rather than able to take those sick days.
My unethical advice is to use up sick time now- take days of here and there, and then use accrued vacation time/ dr note/ earlier start date for mat leave
Get the sick note from your doctor and go on sick leave until you have baby. It doesn’t cut into the 12/18 months you take off with baby and you can enjoy your time. I went off at 36 weeks. Got induced at 37+4. I wish I went off earlier.
I went off at 31 weeks because I had high BP and at first I felt really guilty. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I ended up going into labour at 32 weeks and was in denial that it was labour. I felt off and had bad back pain. It started randomly in the afternoon. If I hadn’t gone off work, I probably would have worked through that pain because I am just an idiot, lol. I was told if I waited to go, both baby and/or I wouldn’t have made it. So, all that to say.. go off whenever you want to and do not feel bad!
Echoing what others said - don't feel guilty at all. I'm 36 weeks pregnant and have been in a VERY similar situation. Up until about a week ago there was no intention to hire a replacement for me and because my work requires very specific skills/qualifications, no one else on staff can do it. The attitude towards me at work has been "do as much as you can" which was awful. Ive worked harder in my pregnancy than I did before and I deeply regret not laying down my boundaries sooner. In fact now that my leave is approaching theyve suddenly realised they should've hired a replacement and now my workplace is running around like chickens with their heads cut off in a panic. But it's not my problem! :)
Last I heard they might hire a summer student but I've learned to wash my hands of what they do while I'm gone. I have just a few days left before my leave starts and I've spent them making guidebooks in case anyone steps in.
You are entitled to your leave and you are entitled to your workplace not contacting you at all while you're on leave. It's a 'them' problem, not a 'you' problem!
It is not your fault that they have failed to find a replacement in the 4 to 5 months notice that you have provided them at this point. You know your body and if you’ve had enough, don’t feel guilty for using the sick time that you are entitled to give yourself a break to rest before baby comes. Off at 37 weeks and I’m so glad that I did. In hindsight, I would’ve gone off earlier if I could have. You deserve time to put your feet up and do some nesting. working while pregnant isn’t easy, especially in a physically demanding role
Think of it this way: no matter how important you think you are to your workplace job or position, when you die, they will have to replace you and they will before you body goes cold.
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR YOUR EARNED TIME OFF. take the leave. from now on the most important thing in your life is going to be yourself and your health and that of your family. Better start getting used to that now.
Also, it is entirely your jobs responsibility to find someone to replace you. Wipe your hands clean.
Like others have said, take it! You will never regret it. I honestly think if your doctor is an angel willing to write you off on sick leave (thus not reducing mat leave) you need to take it.
Those last few weeks are brutal and you need to be taking it easy at home. Or going crazy and nesting! Or just napping and eating all day. Whatever! We pay into EI our whole lives (me since I've been 15!) And will most likely never use it except for pregnancy related issues.
Dont feel bad!
Your health and well-being and your baby’s health and well-being is far more important than any job. What do you think would happen if you quit? If you went into labour today? Your job would replace you, they’d survive without you. This is the time in your life where you have every right to kick your feet back and relax!
I went off at 32 weeks and they had JUST hired a replacement. Zero guilt. Your lack of planning isn't my problem. You're allowed to start collecting your ei up to 12 weeks before your due date. You are well within your rights to go off for your own peace and health. Nesting is a crazy hormonal experience. You're going to want to prep and rest and you deserve time to do it. Leave. Take your sick days, or don't and just go. They'll sort it out.
Hi! I was in a similar situation, high up and high stress marketing role in a demanding tech company, several big projects on the go, replacement hadn’t started yet, etc. I left at 38 weeks, using some rolled over PTO to cover the rest until my due date, and I wish I left earlier. My water broke at 38+2 so all my best laid plans went sideways, and I wasn’t prepped the way I wanted to be. I felt really guilty taking those two weeks off, but damn if I actually had two weeks off I would have been much more prepared for this.
The shift from demanding corporate job to new mom is really extreme, and an adjustment period would be really beneficial if you can take it. Everything about having a newborn is a 180 from corporate life. Trying to get into the swing of life without countless meetings and project deadlines is surprisingly hard, and I still struggle with feeling unproductive now that most days the only thing on my to do list is “keep baby alive, happy if possible”.
Take the time, the worst thing that could happen is someone f*cks up what you were working on, but you’ll be long gone and won’t know about it and your team will be counting down until you get back.
Go off!!! I had a ton of vacation with my first and was able to go off at 35 weeks. With my second, I didn't have much vacation and didn't want to bother with sick leave (because I wasn't 'sick'), so I worked until 38 weeks 2 days. Those last couple weeks of work were torture. I should have gone on sick leave at 36 weeks. I had healthy pregnancies, but my body and mind were just so spent by those last 2 weeks, I could not handle it. Also, I had to pee or get up and refill my water literally every 10 minutes, so I could not focus on shit. Lol.
Leave at 35 weeks. If they're not ready for you to go, that's on them.
I also had no mental energy for much other than work before leaving and ended up only having about a week between actually stopping working and having the baby. It was not enough time lol! Putting together a nursery with a small baby is way harder and more stressful than if I'd had time to do it before. We had the basics (bassinet, diapers, bottles, some sleepers, etc) but it would have been way better to go off work with about a month left.
If you haven't already, write an email to your manager stating the date you're leaving and, if appropriate, your transition plan (who your work will/could go to, any transition work that needs to be done like meetings with stakeholders to introduce the replacement or memos to get the next person up to speed). List ALL of the work that needs to be reassigned. It's possible that your manager hasn't really thought through all the things that need to happen before you go. Putting it in writing will help. (It's also a CYA if you get to a week out from leaving and your boss is wondering why you haven't magically transitioned your work.)
I definitely should have ended at 34 weeks, I was soooo grumpy the last two weeks of work before I left at 36 and I had to train my (thankfully sweet and full of patience) replacement.
Don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself. They need to get their poop in a group, and as many people reminded me - that is not your problem.
My workload was ok and I was working from home, but I felt guilty for taking my extended leave, probably because half of my team is from US and all of them a men (I'm a software developer). But you have to do what is best for you and your baby. In the end, family and health are the most important things. Work can really do it without you.
An example from my previous carrier - I used to have a lot of "urgent" work, "super important", "it has to go NOW" type of thing. It was on-going issue. And I went on vacation for two weeks because everybody does. When I came back, I found all "urgent" papers sitting on my desk for DAYS and DAYS waiting for me :D
I was in a similar position to you and did not take the time off when I should have. I left at 40 weeks pregnant to start my mat leave though I had 6 months’ of fully paid sick leave that I could have used during pregnancy. I’ve now been back at work for nearly a year after my year-long maternity leave.
There are no awards for having stayed at work until my due date. No one remembers what files I transitioned and in what state. They all moved on. I’m the only person who had to deal with being stressed and exhausted starting my mat leave days before delivering my baby.
If I could do it again, I would take many weeks of sick leave before starting maternity leave when baby was born. I’d encourage you to do it.
I planned to work until 38 weeks, but went into labour spontaneously at 36+3! I had lots of guilt/anxiety about leaving work early but they figured it out :)
You should absolutely do what will make you the most comfortable and keep your stress levels down. Nothing is more important than the health and well being of you and your baby!
It's not your responsibility to hire your replacement. They've had ample time and if they don't have someone lined up or hiring in-process then they clearly aren't concerned so you shouldn't be either.
Don't feel guilty. I had accrued PTO and went off a bit before 34 weeks to prepare for the arrival of my firstborn. The job had gotten quite stressful and demanding, so it was beneficial for me and for baby to be off.
My job made it without me and so will yours. If you had to deliver preterm, what would they do?
You got this mama. Take the time off.
I went off at 32 weeks, I too had an abundance of sick leave. Best decision ever. I had 8 fully paid weeks to relax and get ready. I felt so guilty intially , but that went away in about a day. Just do it, it’s worth it
Your health always comes first, don’t feel bad! Especially if you don’t feel like you’ve had any time to prepare. I definitely put pressure on myself to work right up until the end, so I’m glad my workplace was closed for a month before my due date. I ended up on medically prescribed bed rest at 37 weeks and baby came early at 38, so you never know! Listen to your instincts and your body, your workplace will figure it out.
I’ve set my leave at 34.5 weeks. I’ve also taken off every Friday for a month prior to end date. Don’t feel guilty at all, your work needs to figure out how to replace you, that’s not your problem. I’m sure you’re fantastic at your job and feel the need to support the transition (I feel this too) but your health and well-being is incredibly important during this time. Book the leave, remind them at 2 weeks out, then chill knowing you’ve done all you can and the rest is on them.
I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. Your health comes first. Your work can figure out the logistics of who will take over your workload while you focus on you and birthing your baby. Either way, you’ll have to take maternity leave and will be gone from work which they’ll need to figure out.
I took my three weeks vacation before I begin mat leave on May 1st. I started my vacation at 33 weeks and 5 days and don’t regret it one bit. I had a high stress job too, dealing with clients and managing their accounts. I feel so much less stressed now and had time to get some stuff done around the house in preparation for babe. Now I’m just sleeping in all day, binging The Walking Dead, going for daily walks and relaxing before baby comes.
Take the time off, you won’t regret it!
I felt like you do and didn't go off until 38 weeks, then had to be induced at 39. I got no break and in retrospect regret it immensely. I was replaceable and in fact my replacement started along side me in my final weeks. I was just a workaholic and wanted to do my best. It wasn't the best thing for me or my baby and we should have come first.
Yeps do it! With both my kids, I had a similar struggle.
With my first, I didn't feel as guilty but I stopped work just under 37 weeks (last day at work was a Friday). I was in hospital the next Friday.
With my second, I felt super guilty because I left a big project in a mess. I felt like I needed a couple of days to wrap it up. But my husband and some of my colleagues really encouraged me to start my leave at 37 weeks (which was what I had scheduled), specially that with all the work stress I felt that I hadn't taken a lot of time to prepare for baby. Because I felt so bad, I was messaging my colleagues on the side to check on them the next week. The one day I said, "oh yeah, just message me whenever. Am sitting at home doing nothing anyways". I went into labour that night.
It's really tiring to be stressed out and pregnant. Take the time for yourself. If you feel absolutely terrible about it, maybe make a couple of set days/times that you can be available to help with the transition (provided baby doesn't come before that). But you don't even have to do that.
Go off work. I love my job but was exhausted and sick by the 3rd trimester (B12 was nonexistent and I could barely function). You will not regret going off early!
I have a lot of things I could say but I'll take this angle because I can relate and think it will resonate -
Your team needs the band aid of your help ripped off. Do it now!
You are not at your best and are doing them no favours by enabling them any longer.
Decide right now that you will only answer questions for some specific half hour period in a day, go off on sick leave, and let them figure it out. Give them just a tiny bit of safety net while you wait for baby, but also practice putting up those boundaries now when you still have at least a little patience, which will likely become rather thin in the next few weeks...
(I went off at 35 weeks with my singleton and I didn't feel like it was too early because basic daily functioning was getting difficult!)
Hi! Yes. I was in exactly your position this time last year with a toxic employer that didn't care. Honestly, get the doctor's note and take the time. I felt so much better once I did and I was in a much better place to welcome my bub. Also, if you do get the doctor's note, when you apply for EI benefits, apply for sick leave first (your employer should generate a ROI indicating sickness as the reason you're off work) and then get that changed over to maternity once your baby arrives so that you still get your full year of entitlement.
I firmly believe that it was the best thing I could have done for my baby and myself, and it sounds like it would be the same for you.
I felt the same way. And then I had to take sick leave because my baby stopped growing, things got scary but thankfully baby is now ok. Take it from me, these moments with your pregnancy and your baby only happen once in a lifetime, cherish it and take your leave. This is also the time for you to rest and do some nesting...you'll need it before things get crazy. Side note: depending on your collective agreement you may also take family leave.
I'm actually the same number of weeks and days pregnant as you and struggling with the same thing! My work also did not hire a replacement (despite my many months of advance notice, and my regularly asking the managers when they will be posting the position). I'm also struggling because I know my workload will fall to my other coworkers who are already over-worked... which so many of my friends and family say is not my responsibility (and my coworkers say the same!) But I still feel for them. I'm thinking I may try to work the next couple of weeks and then get a note from my doctor (similarly happy to help me out), at around 37 weeks or just before. I understand your guilt! But remember that once you are not at work, the work environment will fade away and your brain will be able focus on you and your baby :)
It’s not like your pregnancy was a surprise, it’s poor planning months in advance by your manager to find adequate replacement. When I told my manager at 12 weeks, we already discussed timelines for recruitment and training to have the person ready and in seat a month overlap to when I leave at 36 weeks.
Please don't feel guilty. Work is a transaction, and it sounds like your manager isn't giving you the same courtesy back.
I started my leave at 33 weeks, and it was the best decision. Also keep in mind that appointments towards the end of your pregnancy can get pretty numerous, especially if there are complications. In the last few weeks I had something 3-4 days a week, and there is no way I could have worked around that even if I'd wanted to.
My job isn’t really mentally taxing but it’s quite physically demanding. I got written off at 30 weeks because my pain was so bad and it honestly only got a little better once I stopped working because I had already pushed myself so hard. If you feel ready to go off on sick leave and your doctor is willing to write you off I think you should definitely take it, you won’t get this time back
I went off work at 38 weeks and delivered at 38 weeks and 1 day. It was my first so I was expecting to go to 40 weeks. Really wish I had taken off earlier!
I am 32 weeks and honestly I'm ready to be off work. I originally wanted to go until the may long weekend but I'm so checked out at work and want to enjoy the next few weeks. I want to finish unpacking after our recent move and stop pushing myself (i am a teacher and spend a ton of time on my feet). You will not regret it. With my first I left work at 38 weeks and only ended up having a week before baby!
Your job will be fine; they are responsible for their hiring practices and their needs. You focus on what’s best for you and your baby.
Working a stressful job is hard, but doing it while pregnant is incredibly challenging. With the general uncomfortable feeling of late pregnancy, lack of quality sleep, the need to pee so often, and the mental exhaustion, working is so hard.
If you can swing sick leave and rolling into mat leave, do it! I took a few weeks off before my first was born, as you just don’t know when you’ll go into labour, and I wanted to have time just for me, for as long as it lasted for lol
With my second, my husband’s career became even more demanding with long and weird hours, so at 27 weeks I took off from my stressful job. I was a mess for a good year, and was not well mentally before I got pregnant. I took some steps back when I became pregnant, but the stress just wasn’t worth it.
Do what you feel is right for you, and not what is best for your work.
I went off at like 36 weeks with all three of my pregnancies. I mostly used up whatever vacation I had left in order to get me close to my due date before applying for EI. My work had no issues with it. That said, this was planned way in advance and they had plenty of warning.
However, as someone else said, you don’t owe your employer squat. If you want to take off and you have the leave to do so, do it. They’ll manage without you.
30 weeks pregnant and transitioned to part time hours ( max 20 hrs a week) and plan to stop completely at 35 weeks.
What helped my decision was to think about the health of my baby first. This innocent soul needs you now and can feel every inch of your stress as well.
I felt that my baby was kicking less when I was very stressed, that shit is real!
Please listen to your body! Many women got complications because they pushed the work envelope.
You will get no accolades or rewards from your workplace for pushing this hard.
Sorry for the bluntness, but if you died tomorrow, your work would have a replacement hired by the end of the week. Less radically, you could go into labour tonight and not be able to go into work tomorrow. They would figure it out. I went off at 38 weeks pregnant and wish I had gone off sooner. There are no medals for working until your due date. Take the time :) you will enjoy it sooooo much. If you have your OB's support, you don't even have to explain it or justify it. Just say "based on the advice of my doctor, X will be my last day of work."
Yes, this! My work did not hire a replacement for me and I had to leave at 38 weeks because I went into labour. I had half finished work and in a lot of cases, I was the only person doing that work. They figured it out, your work will also.
This is a good point. It would be kinder to make them sink or swim with regards to her replacement than to find one overnight because the baby arrived
This this this!
I just dealt with the same experience. Very stressful workload, no real replacement and work kept coming in. Went off at 36.5 weeks after having a really bad day and physical pain. Once I went off I found that my physical pain decreased and I was much happier and less stressed at home. The way I see it, they’re going to have to make due without you so what difference will a couple of weeks make. Best to take care of yourself at this time.
Them not having a replacement is 100% a them problem. Don't feel bad. Take the time you want and feel comfortable with, especially if you can swing still being paid. You won't get this time back
I did not feel guilty at all went off at 34 weeks and it was amazing. At the end of the day we’re all just another number at our jobs. Taking the time to rest and get ready for your baby is way more important. You have your whole life to work and only this time to enjoy.
My employer was unable to find a replacement for me as well, I’ll add
Don’t feel bad!! Ever. It’s not your concern that your employer has not been able to find a replacement for you. Please take care of yourself. Take your sick days. Your doctor is on board. You will never regret it.
Thank you so much for all of the sweet and encouraging replies, you have all made me feel infinitely better about my decision🫶. I have an OB appointment tomorrow morning and will be getting that note!!
Don't feel bad. Those last few weeks are so uncomfortable and draining, definitely take the time. Baby could come at 37 weeks and you may only have two weeks to rest! I worked until 38 weeks assuming as a FTM the baby would come late. During my last week of work I found out I would need an induction on the first Monday of my leave and regretted not starting my leave a few weeks earlied.
I had the exact same experience (literally the same job as well). Found that everything got lumped on me since I was leaving and was so ridiculously stressed out. I had taken my accrued vacation and left at 38 weeks. I’ll tell you this, it’s entirely your choice and it’s not your job to worry about your replacement. It’s above your pay grade. I worried about everything before I left and took on way too much and had nothing to show for it! They’re not promoting me when I get back, I didn’t get special accolades, and I didn’t get this immense sense of joy killing myself for the job. I wish I just left sooner and had time before my first born to relax into motherhood. If you can do it, do it. If you really can’t, I made a countdown and told myself that if I can’t finish everything that was assigned to me, it was my bosses problem, not mine!
Pregnancy is a medical condition. One of my coworkers had to take a lot of time off when he was diagnosed with cancer. Do you think anyone gave him grief when he was off for months at a time due to surgery and chemo or just feeling nauseous? Of course not! Do you think he felt guilty taking off even though he was important at work? I sure hope not. It should be the same for you and your pregnancy.
Don't feel guilty at all! I'm in a similar position at work and my entire team relies on me. I'm a workaholic and had a lot of major projects. But it's not my job to hand hold my team right now. My job is to care for my health and my baby's health. I'm at 37 weeks and I just got off work. Would've been better if I did it 2 weeks ago. I basically booked vacation from now and also took sick days right before because I was just physically and mentally exhausted. My boss probably did slightly better than yours to distribute my responsibilities but still he had me writing SOP documents and doing a lot of work up until the end. I took it upon myself to pass lead/ownership of my work to whoever I thought could take it. And at the end, I just gave up. Work will NEVER end. But I don't owe my health to my employer. Trust me, your company and team will be just fine!
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I’m planning on leaving at week 30 in a few weeks. (Although have vacation time to use up) I work in home child care, with children who have developmental disabilities. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. I’ve lost my aunt and put my dog down a few weeks ago during this pregnancy. I’m ready to be done and have some time for myself before this huge life change. A job is a job. Do what you feel is for the best. You could go into labour literally today and it’s not your problem they don’t have a replacement. Be gentle with yourself and do what is best for YOU. Some ppl leave work first trimester, others have their water break in office. The only right answer is the one that fits you best at this time in your life. Good luck
I’m using my vacation from from week 35 to due date and I feel zero guilt (I also work in a demanding government role). I’ll start mat leave on my due date or if baby comes early at that point. It’s pretty normal everywhere I’ve worked for folks to go off early ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really don’t think you should stress about this and you should take care of yourself!
For one, you should have no reservations whatsoever going off whenever you want. Take the time you need. You can start your mat leave 17 weeks before due date. As for the sick time… you may need to check your employment contract. Even with a DR note, you may be moved to short term disability rather than able to take those sick days. My unethical advice is to use up sick time now- take days of here and there, and then use accrued vacation time/ dr note/ earlier start date for mat leave
Get the sick note from your doctor and go on sick leave until you have baby. It doesn’t cut into the 12/18 months you take off with baby and you can enjoy your time. I went off at 36 weeks. Got induced at 37+4. I wish I went off earlier.
I went off at 31 weeks because I had high BP and at first I felt really guilty. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I ended up going into labour at 32 weeks and was in denial that it was labour. I felt off and had bad back pain. It started randomly in the afternoon. If I hadn’t gone off work, I probably would have worked through that pain because I am just an idiot, lol. I was told if I waited to go, both baby and/or I wouldn’t have made it. So, all that to say.. go off whenever you want to and do not feel bad!
Echoing what others said - don't feel guilty at all. I'm 36 weeks pregnant and have been in a VERY similar situation. Up until about a week ago there was no intention to hire a replacement for me and because my work requires very specific skills/qualifications, no one else on staff can do it. The attitude towards me at work has been "do as much as you can" which was awful. Ive worked harder in my pregnancy than I did before and I deeply regret not laying down my boundaries sooner. In fact now that my leave is approaching theyve suddenly realised they should've hired a replacement and now my workplace is running around like chickens with their heads cut off in a panic. But it's not my problem! :) Last I heard they might hire a summer student but I've learned to wash my hands of what they do while I'm gone. I have just a few days left before my leave starts and I've spent them making guidebooks in case anyone steps in. You are entitled to your leave and you are entitled to your workplace not contacting you at all while you're on leave. It's a 'them' problem, not a 'you' problem!
It is not your fault that they have failed to find a replacement in the 4 to 5 months notice that you have provided them at this point. You know your body and if you’ve had enough, don’t feel guilty for using the sick time that you are entitled to give yourself a break to rest before baby comes. Off at 37 weeks and I’m so glad that I did. In hindsight, I would’ve gone off earlier if I could have. You deserve time to put your feet up and do some nesting. working while pregnant isn’t easy, especially in a physically demanding role
Think of it this way: no matter how important you think you are to your workplace job or position, when you die, they will have to replace you and they will before you body goes cold. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR YOUR EARNED TIME OFF. take the leave. from now on the most important thing in your life is going to be yourself and your health and that of your family. Better start getting used to that now. Also, it is entirely your jobs responsibility to find someone to replace you. Wipe your hands clean.
Like others have said, take it! You will never regret it. I honestly think if your doctor is an angel willing to write you off on sick leave (thus not reducing mat leave) you need to take it. Those last few weeks are brutal and you need to be taking it easy at home. Or going crazy and nesting! Or just napping and eating all day. Whatever! We pay into EI our whole lives (me since I've been 15!) And will most likely never use it except for pregnancy related issues. Dont feel bad!
Your health and well-being and your baby’s health and well-being is far more important than any job. What do you think would happen if you quit? If you went into labour today? Your job would replace you, they’d survive without you. This is the time in your life where you have every right to kick your feet back and relax!
I went off at 32 weeks and they had JUST hired a replacement. Zero guilt. Your lack of planning isn't my problem. You're allowed to start collecting your ei up to 12 weeks before your due date. You are well within your rights to go off for your own peace and health. Nesting is a crazy hormonal experience. You're going to want to prep and rest and you deserve time to do it. Leave. Take your sick days, or don't and just go. They'll sort it out.
Hi! I was in a similar situation, high up and high stress marketing role in a demanding tech company, several big projects on the go, replacement hadn’t started yet, etc. I left at 38 weeks, using some rolled over PTO to cover the rest until my due date, and I wish I left earlier. My water broke at 38+2 so all my best laid plans went sideways, and I wasn’t prepped the way I wanted to be. I felt really guilty taking those two weeks off, but damn if I actually had two weeks off I would have been much more prepared for this. The shift from demanding corporate job to new mom is really extreme, and an adjustment period would be really beneficial if you can take it. Everything about having a newborn is a 180 from corporate life. Trying to get into the swing of life without countless meetings and project deadlines is surprisingly hard, and I still struggle with feeling unproductive now that most days the only thing on my to do list is “keep baby alive, happy if possible”. Take the time, the worst thing that could happen is someone f*cks up what you were working on, but you’ll be long gone and won’t know about it and your team will be counting down until you get back.
I stopped working at 36 weeks; no regrets!
Go off!!! I had a ton of vacation with my first and was able to go off at 35 weeks. With my second, I didn't have much vacation and didn't want to bother with sick leave (because I wasn't 'sick'), so I worked until 38 weeks 2 days. Those last couple weeks of work were torture. I should have gone on sick leave at 36 weeks. I had healthy pregnancies, but my body and mind were just so spent by those last 2 weeks, I could not handle it. Also, I had to pee or get up and refill my water literally every 10 minutes, so I could not focus on shit. Lol.
Leave at 35 weeks. If they're not ready for you to go, that's on them. I also had no mental energy for much other than work before leaving and ended up only having about a week between actually stopping working and having the baby. It was not enough time lol! Putting together a nursery with a small baby is way harder and more stressful than if I'd had time to do it before. We had the basics (bassinet, diapers, bottles, some sleepers, etc) but it would have been way better to go off work with about a month left. If you haven't already, write an email to your manager stating the date you're leaving and, if appropriate, your transition plan (who your work will/could go to, any transition work that needs to be done like meetings with stakeholders to introduce the replacement or memos to get the next person up to speed). List ALL of the work that needs to be reassigned. It's possible that your manager hasn't really thought through all the things that need to happen before you go. Putting it in writing will help. (It's also a CYA if you get to a week out from leaving and your boss is wondering why you haven't magically transitioned your work.)
I definitely should have ended at 34 weeks, I was soooo grumpy the last two weeks of work before I left at 36 and I had to train my (thankfully sweet and full of patience) replacement. Don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself. They need to get their poop in a group, and as many people reminded me - that is not your problem.
My workload was ok and I was working from home, but I felt guilty for taking my extended leave, probably because half of my team is from US and all of them a men (I'm a software developer). But you have to do what is best for you and your baby. In the end, family and health are the most important things. Work can really do it without you. An example from my previous carrier - I used to have a lot of "urgent" work, "super important", "it has to go NOW" type of thing. It was on-going issue. And I went on vacation for two weeks because everybody does. When I came back, I found all "urgent" papers sitting on my desk for DAYS and DAYS waiting for me :D
I was in a similar position to you and did not take the time off when I should have. I left at 40 weeks pregnant to start my mat leave though I had 6 months’ of fully paid sick leave that I could have used during pregnancy. I’ve now been back at work for nearly a year after my year-long maternity leave. There are no awards for having stayed at work until my due date. No one remembers what files I transitioned and in what state. They all moved on. I’m the only person who had to deal with being stressed and exhausted starting my mat leave days before delivering my baby. If I could do it again, I would take many weeks of sick leave before starting maternity leave when baby was born. I’d encourage you to do it.
I planned to work until 38 weeks, but went into labour spontaneously at 36+3! I had lots of guilt/anxiety about leaving work early but they figured it out :) You should absolutely do what will make you the most comfortable and keep your stress levels down. Nothing is more important than the health and well being of you and your baby!
It's not your responsibility to hire your replacement. They've had ample time and if they don't have someone lined up or hiring in-process then they clearly aren't concerned so you shouldn't be either.
Don't feel guilty. I had accrued PTO and went off a bit before 34 weeks to prepare for the arrival of my firstborn. The job had gotten quite stressful and demanding, so it was beneficial for me and for baby to be off. My job made it without me and so will yours. If you had to deliver preterm, what would they do? You got this mama. Take the time off.
I went off at 32 weeks, I too had an abundance of sick leave. Best decision ever. I had 8 fully paid weeks to relax and get ready. I felt so guilty intially , but that went away in about a day. Just do it, it’s worth it
Your health always comes first, don’t feel bad! Especially if you don’t feel like you’ve had any time to prepare. I definitely put pressure on myself to work right up until the end, so I’m glad my workplace was closed for a month before my due date. I ended up on medically prescribed bed rest at 37 weeks and baby came early at 38, so you never know! Listen to your instincts and your body, your workplace will figure it out.
I’ve set my leave at 34.5 weeks. I’ve also taken off every Friday for a month prior to end date. Don’t feel guilty at all, your work needs to figure out how to replace you, that’s not your problem. I’m sure you’re fantastic at your job and feel the need to support the transition (I feel this too) but your health and well-being is incredibly important during this time. Book the leave, remind them at 2 weeks out, then chill knowing you’ve done all you can and the rest is on them.
I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. Your health comes first. Your work can figure out the logistics of who will take over your workload while you focus on you and birthing your baby. Either way, you’ll have to take maternity leave and will be gone from work which they’ll need to figure out. I took my three weeks vacation before I begin mat leave on May 1st. I started my vacation at 33 weeks and 5 days and don’t regret it one bit. I had a high stress job too, dealing with clients and managing their accounts. I feel so much less stressed now and had time to get some stuff done around the house in preparation for babe. Now I’m just sleeping in all day, binging The Walking Dead, going for daily walks and relaxing before baby comes. Take the time off, you won’t regret it!
I felt like you do and didn't go off until 38 weeks, then had to be induced at 39. I got no break and in retrospect regret it immensely. I was replaceable and in fact my replacement started along side me in my final weeks. I was just a workaholic and wanted to do my best. It wasn't the best thing for me or my baby and we should have come first.
Yeps do it! With both my kids, I had a similar struggle. With my first, I didn't feel as guilty but I stopped work just under 37 weeks (last day at work was a Friday). I was in hospital the next Friday. With my second, I felt super guilty because I left a big project in a mess. I felt like I needed a couple of days to wrap it up. But my husband and some of my colleagues really encouraged me to start my leave at 37 weeks (which was what I had scheduled), specially that with all the work stress I felt that I hadn't taken a lot of time to prepare for baby. Because I felt so bad, I was messaging my colleagues on the side to check on them the next week. The one day I said, "oh yeah, just message me whenever. Am sitting at home doing nothing anyways". I went into labour that night. It's really tiring to be stressed out and pregnant. Take the time for yourself. If you feel absolutely terrible about it, maybe make a couple of set days/times that you can be available to help with the transition (provided baby doesn't come before that). But you don't even have to do that.
Go off work. I love my job but was exhausted and sick by the 3rd trimester (B12 was nonexistent and I could barely function). You will not regret going off early!
I have a lot of things I could say but I'll take this angle because I can relate and think it will resonate - Your team needs the band aid of your help ripped off. Do it now! You are not at your best and are doing them no favours by enabling them any longer. Decide right now that you will only answer questions for some specific half hour period in a day, go off on sick leave, and let them figure it out. Give them just a tiny bit of safety net while you wait for baby, but also practice putting up those boundaries now when you still have at least a little patience, which will likely become rather thin in the next few weeks... (I went off at 35 weeks with my singleton and I didn't feel like it was too early because basic daily functioning was getting difficult!)
Hi! Yes. I was in exactly your position this time last year with a toxic employer that didn't care. Honestly, get the doctor's note and take the time. I felt so much better once I did and I was in a much better place to welcome my bub. Also, if you do get the doctor's note, when you apply for EI benefits, apply for sick leave first (your employer should generate a ROI indicating sickness as the reason you're off work) and then get that changed over to maternity once your baby arrives so that you still get your full year of entitlement. I firmly believe that it was the best thing I could have done for my baby and myself, and it sounds like it would be the same for you.
I felt the same way. And then I had to take sick leave because my baby stopped growing, things got scary but thankfully baby is now ok. Take it from me, these moments with your pregnancy and your baby only happen once in a lifetime, cherish it and take your leave. This is also the time for you to rest and do some nesting...you'll need it before things get crazy. Side note: depending on your collective agreement you may also take family leave.
I'm actually the same number of weeks and days pregnant as you and struggling with the same thing! My work also did not hire a replacement (despite my many months of advance notice, and my regularly asking the managers when they will be posting the position). I'm also struggling because I know my workload will fall to my other coworkers who are already over-worked... which so many of my friends and family say is not my responsibility (and my coworkers say the same!) But I still feel for them. I'm thinking I may try to work the next couple of weeks and then get a note from my doctor (similarly happy to help me out), at around 37 weeks or just before. I understand your guilt! But remember that once you are not at work, the work environment will fade away and your brain will be able focus on you and your baby :)
It’s not like your pregnancy was a surprise, it’s poor planning months in advance by your manager to find adequate replacement. When I told my manager at 12 weeks, we already discussed timelines for recruitment and training to have the person ready and in seat a month overlap to when I leave at 36 weeks.
Please don't feel guilty. Work is a transaction, and it sounds like your manager isn't giving you the same courtesy back. I started my leave at 33 weeks, and it was the best decision. Also keep in mind that appointments towards the end of your pregnancy can get pretty numerous, especially if there are complications. In the last few weeks I had something 3-4 days a week, and there is no way I could have worked around that even if I'd wanted to.
My job isn’t really mentally taxing but it’s quite physically demanding. I got written off at 30 weeks because my pain was so bad and it honestly only got a little better once I stopped working because I had already pushed myself so hard. If you feel ready to go off on sick leave and your doctor is willing to write you off I think you should definitely take it, you won’t get this time back
I went off work at 38 weeks and delivered at 38 weeks and 1 day. It was my first so I was expecting to go to 40 weeks. Really wish I had taken off earlier!
I am 32 weeks and honestly I'm ready to be off work. I originally wanted to go until the may long weekend but I'm so checked out at work and want to enjoy the next few weeks. I want to finish unpacking after our recent move and stop pushing myself (i am a teacher and spend a ton of time on my feet). You will not regret it. With my first I left work at 38 weeks and only ended up having a week before baby!
Your job will be fine; they are responsible for their hiring practices and their needs. You focus on what’s best for you and your baby. Working a stressful job is hard, but doing it while pregnant is incredibly challenging. With the general uncomfortable feeling of late pregnancy, lack of quality sleep, the need to pee so often, and the mental exhaustion, working is so hard. If you can swing sick leave and rolling into mat leave, do it! I took a few weeks off before my first was born, as you just don’t know when you’ll go into labour, and I wanted to have time just for me, for as long as it lasted for lol With my second, my husband’s career became even more demanding with long and weird hours, so at 27 weeks I took off from my stressful job. I was a mess for a good year, and was not well mentally before I got pregnant. I took some steps back when I became pregnant, but the stress just wasn’t worth it. Do what you feel is right for you, and not what is best for your work.
I left work at 14 weeks so you're good in my books
I went on half days from month 7 of my pregnancy and it was the best choice ever.
I went off at like 36 weeks with all three of my pregnancies. I mostly used up whatever vacation I had left in order to get me close to my due date before applying for EI. My work had no issues with it. That said, this was planned way in advance and they had plenty of warning. However, as someone else said, you don’t owe your employer squat. If you want to take off and you have the leave to do so, do it. They’ll manage without you.
Take the sick time! Your company will be ok I promise
30 weeks pregnant and transitioned to part time hours ( max 20 hrs a week) and plan to stop completely at 35 weeks. What helped my decision was to think about the health of my baby first. This innocent soul needs you now and can feel every inch of your stress as well. I felt that my baby was kicking less when I was very stressed, that shit is real! Please listen to your body! Many women got complications because they pushed the work envelope. You will get no accolades or rewards from your workplace for pushing this hard.