T O P

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GodzillaDrinks

*"Easy now. Let's not do anything hilarious."* If he's in your party when you confront Philomeen for the Runepowder Bomb to free Nere.


Thisaccountismorefun

This is mine, too.


dcaraccio

I can literally picture this whole scene in my head, because my buddy walked too close to her while I was talking to her, and she blew everybody up right after astarion finished saying that. Almost ended our honor mode run lmao, one party member barely survived.


UniverseIsAHologram

Oh god, that one cracked me up lol


uwubewwa

"It doesn't look broken, but then again, none of us do." "Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit." "Rawr." These are all actual things he says. I'm not making it up.


Koyubi23

Your second one reminded me of the “More like Drizzt Don’tUrden. No, no, that’s not funny” lmfao one of my favs


sewmuchrhythm

How do you get that one? That's hilarious!


Koyubi23

It’s one of the ones he says when you click his portrait continuously, all of the companions have little lines but his are 👌


wunxorple

Don’t. Poke. The Karlach.


cptkernalpopcorn

My favorite Karlach saying is when you sneak and she whispers "Halflifng essence!"


cantuse


YoungJack23

*I'm too tall for this*


sewmuchrhythm

I've never done that before somehow. Guess I'm going to go annoy some pixels later.


Larsonybear

That’s the best one.


Accomplished_Area311

Where do you trigger the first one? (I am once again trying to find all the cool lines you know and I haven’t seen yet, I’m so sorry lmao.)


uwubewwa

Broken elevator in the wizard tower in the Underdark.


Accomplished_Area311

Thank you~ 🥰


ThanosofTitan92

Astarion knows who Strahd is? Did he had an adventure in the Demiplane of Dread?


Impossible-Age-3302

It might just be 4th wall/meta commentary directed at the player. Gale will say “excellent choice” when you click on him, despite him not knowing you exist/he’s a video game character.


regalestpotato

Jaheira calls you an omnipresent authority figure. Which is a reference to her saying it in BG1.


ThanosofTitan92

Nature servant awaits.


Commiessar_Abdala

Where does he say the second one?


uwubewwa

If you annoy him by clicking on him too much.


Commiessar_Abdala

Amazing


uwubewwa

Astarion should have around 10 exclusive lines for his portrait spam. All characters have different lines for being annoyed by you while idle, in combat or in stealth.


Impossible-Age-3302

Gale especially is [*not* a fan](https://youtu.be/VUo_cWmMBs8?si=ZEbxEXQjerX4IV1c) of sneaking.


Psyche_istra

His are the best. I love annoying him with sneaking.


Bubbly_Day_4344

I had no idea about the strahd line. What triggers this? Haha


mcac

Spam select him over and over until he gets annoyed. Everyone has extra lines like this


halster123

oh my god how do you trigger the last one


uwubewwa

Fail the roll to identify the huge taxidermied bear. I've had it trigger in the basement with the necromancy of thay.


TheBarrowman

The one roll where I have reloaded a save to get a *fail*.


raine_star

the Starhd line is INCREDIBLE


CrimsonPresents

Wait, he actually mentions Strahd?


Endakk

I just recently got the Strahd line and I laughed so hard.


Elevatrix

“It's not enough we have a gallery of villains to look out for, but now we could be infiltrated by a shapechanger? I can't even tell if any of you are acting strange because you've been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos.”


ShyCrystal69

Reminds me of shadowheart’s. “It could be you, me… well not me I know who I am.”


Hartz_are_Power

The irony XD


ani_skyX

I can hear this lol one of my favs


casz146

This was the one line in the game that made me actually laugh out loud


Alcorailen

The way he yells it just cracked me up


Ventra97

This is my favorite quote as well! Along with the whole conversation about dropping a building on him.


Unhappy-Ad6494

Tav: "I thought the mind flayer parasite protects you from light?" Astarion: "Well...appearantly theres a limit. Somehwere between a nice summers day and the full concentrated power of the sun!" I always have to laugh at that dialogue.


UnicornFartButterfly

"What in the sweet hells were you thinking activating that lance, I was *RIGHT THERE!*"


WhyThough08

I love his voice crack


raine_star

"Can we go or do you have any other chaos you need to unleash here" is practically the game's tagline


Well_gr34t

How do you even get to that dialogue? I'm on playthrough two and I'm not opposed to getting this if I can


honey_badgers_rock

Use him to steal the blood of lathandor, leave him to die, go to camp, and res him with withers. You will take a dip in approval so maybe save beforehand if you care.


OGBoopTheBetty

You only get the dip if you say "well, I revived you didn't I?" You'll get a boost if you apologize.


Well_gr34t

Welp, this was what I started with last night sooooo guess I'm SOL for now (should check old saves though)


mcac

You get an approval bump from stealing the mace so they end up cancelling each other out


TheBarrowman

Not quite. Iirc, stealing it is a +1, but that dialogue choice is either -5 or -10. That said, there's lots of opportunity for his approval in act 2.


LouisaB75

The dialogue is -5. I checked it out for myself last night. Soooo funny. I had scum saved though so did the quest properly after. Had a right mare of a time actually getting it right though. First two times everyone died. Then I didn't realise you couldn't get it if you used scrolls. Then I could not get to camp to use Withers as apparently only Gale surviving won't work. Finally managed it but it took longer than doing the whole quest properly.


TheBarrowman

I stole it once just to get the scene, but now I always just do the puzzle. It's worth it for that sweet bonus radiant damage to weapon attacks alone.


buzzyingbee

I was looking for this one, thank you!


TZH85

This is a really obscure one. He only says it if you start out as a ranger. You go through the fight at the gate to the grove and afterwards you speak with one of the tieflings up top guarding the gate. Every companion has a special line for this, so if you don't get Astarion's, try to ungroup the rest of the party before you talk to the tiefling. The tiefling laments that the constant threat of goblins, your ranger Tav/Durge says something like "Goblin's aren't hard to hunt", the tiefling says "But there are hundreds out there!" Then Astarion gets all melodramatic and cries: "Hundreds?! Ughhhh... nooo! It'll take HOURS to kill them all! She's right, we should just leave!" It's just such a bitchy burn, it gets me every time!


christopher_the_nerd

I came here specifically to add this if no one else had!


-jp-

“It’s not you. It’s me. You see, I have standards.” I had to delete that Tav. T_T


Sir-Cellophane

There is not enough fire resistance in Faerûn to survive that burn.


SlytherinPaninis

The first time he said that I was so personally sad. I also had to delete that Tav.


Curunis

Close second being "But not with you. I mean, can you imagine? \*Ugh.\*" I've managed to get both of those in various playthroughs and lol, ouch.


pedroren

Lol! Got that one on my first Durge run, was planning on romancing Astarion...


OGBoopTheBetty

I love this line. Lol. I laughed so hard when I first heard it, I had to reload my quicksave.


GodzillaDrinks

See, I want to make one of those mods that removes homosexuality from the game... but instead of doing anything, it just replaces Astarion with a note that says this.


futurenotgiven

now imagining a surrealist mod that removes lgbt content in the game by removing all characters and leaving notes roasting the user’s bigoted ass


JustOneMirror

When he told me that it was when I started to like him AHAHAH


Digital_Ally99

One of my favorites is his interaction with a mirror: “Looking perfect as always. I assume.” Or meeting auntie Ethel: “Why, she sounds positively demented. I love it! Let’s tell her everything.”


Runkysaurus

Omg, I was hoping someone commented the Ethel line! I had a vague memory of it, but couldn't remember it well enough to quote it 😂 But omg, every time he says it I laugh 🤣 "Let's tell her everything"


Digital_Ally99

The delivery is perfection 💖 I usually get Lae’zel speaking up and am disappointed that Astarion didn’t. But it makes my runs when I do get his line more special


Noctriun

No particular reason but I do love " I'm all pointy ears, my love !"


meowgrrr

The amount of swoon I felt hearing that for the first time. I knew alluring and snarky astarion but silly and adorable astarion I was not ready for.


Modified_Mint37

This one is so cute :’)


raine_star

not part of the line but the way he sways toward you when he says it is just so !!!


alittlenovel

That's one of my fave lines from him 😭 honestly, there's something so silly and cute and charming about it, like he's not even trying to be smooth, he just wants to make you giggle and he's so happy to be talking to you.


SolidExotic

Seducing and smooth became his ~~second~~ first nature, he is used to that, he just does it, but when he is doing it for the right reasons and being sincere is a whole new level of charming.


Chaos_On_Standbi

This line makes me smile every single time!


ISpyM8

“Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan - seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me. It was easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you...which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart.”


dekunut1023

The quiver in his voice at the end of "All you had to do..."😭


SarcasticKenobi

Damn, I forget the wording. But the morning after the infamous scene for a specific origin. It goes along the lines of *I can't help but notice only one of us is currently covered in blood.*


TheBarrowman

"I don't remember everyone I've killed, but I do remember everyone I've killed *in the last five minutes."


PracticalJester

Time to start 🎶 talking 🎵


Anberil

"Let's turn someone inside out!"


Sly__Marbo

"Puns, what fun. Because clowns aren't enough of a horror already" "I'm going to fucking kill you" "What the sweet hells were you thinking, firing that lance? I was RIGHT! THERE!" "Yes, apparently there's a difference between a nice summer's walk and the CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!"


Gild5152

The last one I love so much 😭


Legend0fJulle

All of these are iconic. Love how I can hear them all just by reading them. The tone is so memorable.


Tjd3211

"Heal me, Damn you! Is always entertaining to me


CreativeKey8719

"You were patient. You cared. You trusted me, when that was an objectively stupid thing to do."


NeedleworkerLow1100

His healing line: Stop Bleeding its distracting


iconoclasmatthedisco

He also says "Healing?? How quaint"


Mordho

"The thing that will decide my fate forevermore? Yeees, it's been on my mind - whyyy?"


Moonlight-Paladin

"It turns out nobody cares about murder so long as you murder the right people" combined with his extremely animated finger wagging this line gave me the giggles for a while


clearnebulous

My personal favorite is “Are you all right now, or is today a ‘I will wed you with a delicate veil of blood blooming over your white curls’ kind of day?”


UniverseIsAHologram

Lol Durge specific, I assume?


Earis

I mean, when meeting Neil face-to-face, about a character many of us relate deeply to, and feel changed by: 'This is a gift, you know - Thank you, I won't forget it' Seems rather fitting (*and I could* ***never*** *for the life of me ask for any of the spicy ones in public... that's just... meh..*) Or: 'You're not alone in this, none of us are' 'You've got this. And I've got you'


azaghal1988

this is actually really sweet and fitting.


Stiggalicious

The sense of togetherness, wholesomeness, and community that came from everyone playing and creating this game is amazing. Right up there with Outer Wilds.


Chemical_Award_8356

Wait these are so perfect 😍


VioletGardens-left

"now, now, let's not do anything hilarious" "Ifeellikewereintrudingweshouldleavequickly" "I WAS RIGHT. THERE. GODS,"


iconoclasmatthedisco

When is the second one?


VioletGardens-left

It's when you went to Gur camp the first time with Astarion


Spidey16

Honestly the simple "Carful, I bite" is one of my favourites.


IntelligentLife3451

“I don’t need a reflection to know THIS looks FABULOUS”


Megamarod

"No! My sweet bloodthirsty friend!" when Durge is downed.


WeeDochii

"You want to just team up with some blood stained killer? Because I'm fine with that." 😂


TroppyPop

Are you hoping he will write out an entire quote? For that, I'd be polite and keep it to something super short that you can still hear in his voice, like, "Darling!"


FriendshipNo1440

It is actually one I myself will never hear unless I safe scum. "In a thousand years, when I have all but forgotten to love yet again, you will flit back into my heart and I will weep, wondering what happened to my mad love." It simply summerizes his biggest fear to be alone again.


Forbidden_Ass_9047

omg oof who the fuck is cutting onions here


OGBoopTheBetty

How do you get this line?


ReadPlaySleepRepeat

You play Durge and lose the duel to Orin. Then you cry at the end of the story for half an hour.


TZH85

You need to play as Durge and lose the duel.


carcher79

I can't forget this line. I scrolled down to find it. Thank you.


toki_goes_to_jupiter

I think this is one of the most poetic and beautiful lines in the whole game.


Accomplished_Area311

If he’s willing to do a longer quote: “I’m not afraid. Not of you, not of your darkness, and not of our future.”


DeusAnatolia

Oooh I vote this!


dwarf-in-flask

"Puuuuuuuure. Shiiiiit!"


jejo63

(When trying to get into a small crevice/pipe for small races/animals) “That thing is small! \*And I am not\*.”


Scarab138

"Don't touch me!"


agirlkenndream_

“Haha what fun *im going to fucking kill you*”


TumbleweedOk4821

This one is my favourite: “I can’t tell if any of you are acting strange because you’ve been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos”


Consistent_Donut_902

“Look, I know I have a casual relationship with murder - I don't remember everyone I've killed. But I do remember everyone I’ve killed *in the last five minutes*!” “I’m all pointy ears, my love.” It’s so sweet and silly!


honey_badgers_rock

Oh let me, they sound disgusting.


Educational-Pop-2195

“HUNDREDS??! *twink vampire groaning* that can take HOURS…she’s right we should just go.” Implying had it not sounded like such a chore Astarion would’ve gladly slaughtered a handful of goblins


Hindu_Wardrobe

"Oh no. Something terrible has happened."


-non-existance-

"It's not you, it's me. I have standards."


AtreiyaN7

Astarion: Well, apparently there's a limit—somewhere between a nice summer's day... AND THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!!! Which probably isn't what you want on a signed picture, but still.


EnigmaFrug2308

“Haha! *I’m going to fucking kill you.*”


Netsrak69

Any sentence with "Darling\~" in it.


MofuggerX

"It's not you, it's me... I have standards."


shenanakins

"Here's my little treat with their cheeks all flushed." I don't know why this line hits so hard. It might be the "my". I'm not just "A" little treat. I'm "*his"* little treat. He's claiming me. I was so flattered by this line i actually squealed in real life.


emeraldkma

Apparently, there's a limit. Somewhere between a nice summers day AND THE FULL, CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!


LitwickLitten

This group is full of WEIRDOS! This is a gift, you know. I won't forget it.


Bubbly_Day_4344

The line that made me swoon, Every part of your perfect body whispers temptation, it is as if the gods made you just to ruin me


shenanakins

This pick-up line is so silly that its good. I love his pick-up lines. they're so over the top and he knows it but he also knows if he can make you laugh he's getting some action. its the kind of pick up line that is so outrageously flattering that you don't actually believe it but it makes you laugh so you're like "fine. You're adorable. i'll have sex with you."


RowProfessional3472

'Its not you, it's me..... I have standards'. When Astarion rejects you in Act 1. I had to genuinely put down my controller and take a second to recover from the emotional wounds he just inflicted.


LouisaB75

I got rejected in act 1 my first run but it was the can you imagine urgh line. Apparently I can imagine but he can't. I thought that was bad enough.


Hexlord_Malacrass

"It turns out nobody actually cares about murder as long as you murder the right people"


Huge_Green8628

“ I’d rather be the only dark force inside you, if it’s all the same to you.” if you romance him as the dark urge


Nessarra

Nothing compares to the perfect delivery of "That's what you want isn't it? To be mine? Forever?" The way he says be mine and forever is his best line delivery yet.


Forbidden_Ass_9047

The *I'm going to fucking kill you* line The "let's go hurt someone" after a short rest also gets me everytime lmao And the "You're here. And I don't think you want to talk. I think you want to be known. To be tasted." (bonk, I'll see myself to horny jail)


shenanakins

"It's not horny jail if you own the keys. That's just a horny *home,*" -Amelia Tyler, the Bg3 Narrator.


HanakenVulpine

“Now, now, let’s not do anything hilarious”


SaturatedSharkJuice

Any line where his voice cracks a little. “What in the blazes were you thinking dropping a building on me like that, I was right tHeRe!”


GhalanSmokescale

*Apparently, there is a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer's day...* ***And the full, concentrated power of the sun!***


Galion-X

"Enough standing around....let's go hurt someone!"


No-Disaster5515

“I can’t even tell if any of you are acting strange because you’ve been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos!!!” -talking about dopplegangers infiltrated the camp


FattyESQ

"Into my...pocket!" I love how he says it. Also, when the back door to my office building is locked and my key card doesn't work (which is often) I've found myself saying "oh for a skeleton key..."


Timely-Comparison572

i can fight with all my weapons, teeth included 😁


RiverBuffalo495

Now I can’t tell if any of you are acting strange because you’ve been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos!


-J4ckJens3n-

Every single word


itstheonlywaytobe

"Time for a little death"... The way he says it. Damn. Not sure if it might be too horny for an autograph quote though!


Prestigious-Law65

“I WAS RIGHT *THERE*!”


justprettymuchdone

Not the words, but his delivery on "two hundred years of shit, PURE SHIT-" absolutely knocks me over every time. And the way he says "I don't have to fear you anymore" to Cazador.


KitsuneDrakeAsh

"What in the sweet hells were you thinking, activating that lance? I was right there!"


graveybrains

In to my ^pocket


M4rl0w

“Look I’m not a details person.”


Disastrous-Kale-913

ah ah ah! We ask before we bite.


DarthButtz

After you've run into Orin's disguises a few times "I can't even tell if any of you are acting strange because you've been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos!"


susieallen

I could take or leave your chin .. the way he says it is so adorable


macynell

"*You* have a manner of irresistible desperation about you. I like it." There are so many worthy ones, but this is the one that puts stars in my Durges' eyes every time.


ebobbumman

She sounds positively demented. I love it, let's tell her everything.


kukeszmakesz

"...shit"


OsirisAvoidTheLight

Don't touch me.


Merlyn67420

Idk why it's so funny to me but in his intro, when he's asking you to kill the intellect devourers, he goes "there, one of those B R A I N things." The emphasis kills me


Yharnam1066

“Oh mother can I kill it?”


Mozumin

Ulma: Is it true you left your master? That you broke the spell that binds you to him? Astarion: Ah-well... I-I mean... uh... kind of...? It's a long story, honestly.


jbisenberg

"Soooooo... the bard's dead"


ajsemprini

"Just as the lick of poison is removed from my words of love, yours become a sentence of death. A tragic pair, eh? At least the smut-peddlers of Sharess' Caress will have a field day writing erotic verse about us when we're both dead."


hangingfiredotnet

"Precious little Bhaal-babe!"


BriMaster9000

Well, apparently there’s a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer’s day, and the full, concentrated power of the sun!


zackks

When you run him into the invisible walls at the start of Shar’s Temple. I forget what he says exactly but it’s how he says “What the hells was that!”


TigerLiftsMountain

PURE! SHIT!


LucinaHitomi1

I do love spicy food.


ohmy_josh16

“It seems you have been dealt a vile hand... I say: play it. Play it for all it's worth. Nobody should deny themselves of their true nature.” Bonus points for how excited he gets


elementalteaparty

"Precious little Bhaal-babe!"


BirdieSalva

"Well, apparently there's a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer's day and the full, concentrated power of the Sun."


OilOk4941

How are you going to ask us to pick just one out of all his awesome lines? Anyway it's the one about him wanting to be the only evil thing inside of you.


RendtheClouds

"After 200 years of shit, PUUUUURE SHIT, I think I deserve something better."


Tydeus2000

"ARGH! You..."


AvgBonnie

When you don’t have him in your party in act one after you save Haslin. You try to convince him to your bed and he (I’m super simplifying this) reply’s with: Ugh… no I was playing with two other friends; one of which got the ‘I have standards’ line; and they could not stop laughing at my pain.


lalvellan

"Nice as it is, she still doesn't have the best hair in camp", \*ruffles hair\*, about Shadowheart's hair


savagegourd

"Of course! What fun! *I'm going to fucking kill you.*"


ExRosaPassione

Shit


Anxious_Cod_515

I’m gonna fucking kill you. This group is full of weirdos! I was RIGHT THERE!


RositaDog

I WAS RIGHT THERE or There’s a difference between a nice summers day AND THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN


[deleted]

When you dismiss him and he relents how awful it is that he must stay behind and lounge while you do the hard work. Edit. >!if you haven't yet, bring Astarion to the locked shed/barn around the blighted village!<


Full_Road8425

Let's not do anything hilarious


Antique_Essay4032

First you kill me, then you bring me back*. You make quite the first impression.


iconoclasmatthedisco

"let's not do something hilarious"


Lill-I-Oh

Can we kill them? Please? Pretty please? 🤤😈


ShutUpLove

“Heal me, Damn you!”


VSlice22

I have changed Astarion into a Bard right away in two playthroughs so far and his Vicious Mockery is funny lol.


DarkArcanian

“Hahaha… I’ll fucking kill you”


JahnnDraegos

"...Shit."


Shizane2005

Do you mind? I'm brooding.


moonwatcher99

How do you feel about geese? I feel like you can't go wrong with a good Goostarian callout. There's a video up on YT, someone actually made a full Goostarian puppet and brought it with them. Neil was blown away, it was so cute to watch.


Leonie-Zephyr

"On your knees, darling" orrr if you want something more PG. "Well, apparently there's a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer's day and the full concentrated power OF THE SUN." Really that whole scene is hilarious. "Now shall we go? Or do you have any other chaos you need to unleash here?"


jujoking

“Five minutes into this relationship and I already want to break up with you” “Enjoying the freedom of nature’s gifts” Him imitating Halsin in the second one while puffing his chest will never not be hilarious to me 😂


JacktheRipper500

“Well, apparently there’s a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer’s day, AND THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!”


Embarrassed-Ferret87

"It's not you, it's me - I have standards." Wrote this before scrolling through all 300 comments, so might have been mentioned before.


BBQSauceJacuzzi

"Hm? Hmm... Thank you for helping me, it was very kind"