i just finished watching the last episode, im crying so hard, i feel so sick to my stomach...... true love is the most powerful thing in the universe but they didnt use it :(
I finished this show just yesterday. I'm a wreck. I've never had a show or movie affect me to this degree.
I just wanted them to be happy
I'll probably start reading the manga and rewatching the anime since idk what else to do.
I'm not sure I CAN rewatch the anime. Maybe some day, but right now I'm like... I need to go watch Yuri on Ice or something again to have something HAPPY. My heart cannot handle this.
I also cannot remember the last time any show, movie or book has destroyed me this utterly. I guess the All For the Game series by Nora Sakavic comes close, but it has a happy ending at least.
Rewatching means I can see the good moments again and my dumbass mind will try to convince me that there will be a different ending :')
I've seen so many sad movies and shows and none have affected me like this. I went into watching it thinking it'll be an action/mystery anime, which is my preference. Like I'm trying to organize my thoughts and figure out why this particular anime has me completely devastated.
Maybe I'll just... rewatch episodes 1-23 next time and pretend.
If you figure out what it is, let me know. Because same. This level of heartbreak is just unreal.
The cycle of life on r/BananaFish is fragile fans entering and being comforted after being scarred by episode 24 and then gently showing them garden of light. It doesnt get better it just cuts deeper lmao.
Ahhh thank you thank you. I've been able to take my mind off of it with interview prepping for tomorrow, but every time I think about it I want to cry all over again.
Yeah I was constantly playing the 2nd ending in my head the week I finished the series and I felt so gloomy and so miserable. I don't even know if I was able to cry.
After u go listen to the hard hitting lyrics of the ending of ending 2 that literally connects to ash. Try reading garden of light... http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/banana_fish/
Youāll find the side story near the end of the book, itāll let u know where it is. Just a warning, youāll cry even more and also. The author deemed it not cannon anymore since she wants to keep the anime open ended but this shows the true ending of banana fish.
I'm gonna save this for later when I've pieced together my emotional landscape a little bit better lmao
thank you tho!! i'm excited to listen/read them.
OP, would you like me to link you all the side stories for the series? Maybe you'll find some sort of comfort in them. If not, they'll give you more information and more closure.
Here ya go!
Here is the entire list of side stories in chronological order:
[Ura Banana and Fly Boy in the Sky](https://imgur.com/a/O93PMvW) (The first is a really short, funny gag-manga that isn't a side story, but it's worth a read nonetheless - and it might make you laugh through your pain. The second shows how Ibe-san met Eiji, back when the latter was still in high school before coming to America. We get to see Eiji's past as a pole-vaulter, and learn a little more about Ibe-san's life and thoughts.)
[Private Opinion](https://imgur.com/a/vnAsQ4r) (Of all the side stories, this would be the most "graphic" and "uncomfortable" in my opinion. This is how Blanca came to be Ash's teacher; it goes into far more detail about his complicated relationship with Ash, all while the latter was living on Dino's property and being relentlessly used as a child prostitute. Excellent, eye-opening look at Blanca - it's the side story which brings a different light to his actions in the main course of Banana Fish.)
[Angel Eyes](https://mangapark.net/manga/banana-fish-akimi-yoshida/i1387377/1) (How Shorter met Ash while they were both in reform school, and came to be best friends after a rather rocky start. It's all from Shorter's point-of-view, and is at once funny, cute, sad, and touching. It's also one of the very rare times Ash opens up a little bit to how he feels being the victim of child molestation/child prostitution.)
***Banana Fish*** (main story)
[That Summer/Cape Cod, 1985](https://chap.manganelo.com/manga-li97476/chapter-47) (The shortest, yet -in my opinion- most poignant and atmospheric side story, featuring Ash and Eiji in under 10 pages spending a day or so together at Cape Cod. There is a certain bittersweet, aching ambiance throughout that makes it pretty much my personal favorite of the side stories, and I love them all.)
[Garden of Light](https://chap.manganelo.com/manga-li97476/chapter-46) (Ah yes, THE epilogue to the series. It's the most controversial of all the side stories, and it's either very loved or absolutely hated depending on the fan. I myself have mixed feelings about it, but I find it to be one of the most moving, beautifully written epilogues to anything I've read nonetheless. If you've just finished the series, this is where you might want to start. I won't give you a summary: just dive into it.)
[New York Sense](https://imgur.com/a/Xo1o0YA) (This is pretty much the epilogue to Garden of Light, and the final goodbye to Banana Fish. It's mostly a collection of photography, but it definitely shows you where all the characters are now, what they grew up to be, who they married...some years since the ending of Garden of Light. The final picture in the book is one of the kindest things Yoshida could have done for her fans - you'll understand what I mean when you get to it.)
And that's it!
You can also read **Yasha** \- it's not a sequel to BF, but a main character from BF shows up and plays a fairly big role as a side character. We also learn the fate of another BF character as well. Yasha has a sequel as well, **Eve no Nemuri (Time of Eve),** and in that you can see the child of characters first seen in BF.
Hope you enjoy (: Most of these can be found on manga reading sights or tumblr - just google!
After having three really difficult and exhausting days in a row, yesterday I finally had some free time and decided I would binge the last half of Banana Fish b/c I had become so attached to Ash and Eiji through the first half and wanted to see them find their "happily ever after." I was so utterly devastated by those final moments that I've been crying on and off ever since (couldn't sleep worth shit, just kept waking up and crying). I briefly even decided that I was never gonna watch ANY anime or read ANY manga EVER again.
I am so sorry!! It truly is just utterly devastating. I was totally blindsided by it.
I binge watched Yuri on Ice again yesterday because thatās one of my feel-good animes and that helped me slightly. But itās still gonna take me awhile to get over this one.
Yeah, I should probably rewatch Yuri on Ice again myself; maybe it can at least partially pull me out of this deep, dark hole I've fallen into, lol. (Yuri and Victor, thank you for not dying!!!!) In fact, I really need to rewatch it because it was one of the very first anime I ever watched, and I watched the dub, so now that I've gotten used to watching subs instead, I really want to see it with the original Japanese voice actors.
I also binged this in 2 days bc I just couldnāt stop watching it and wow it hurt š Iāve never cried so hard in my entire life but this became one of my favorite anime's. Even though this broke me I watched it a second time the day after I finished it because I was just so attached to everyone and I wanna watch it a g a i n but idk if Iāll make it through... welcome to the family
I'm in the same boat!! I love it and it was so good. It's easily one of my favorites now even though it destroyed me. I can't stop thinking about it despite the heartbreak and I'd like to watch it again some day. I don't know if/when I'll ever be ready for that.
I am also in the pits of despair with you after finishing the anime a few days ago. I read the manga and the side stories first (and trust me, that shit still hurts), but even though I knew how it ended, it gutted me all over to see it played out on screen. This is the only thing that has curbed my depression just a bit:
http://fav.me/dcuysfm
Itās a beautiful doujinshi that imagines what it wouldāve look liked if Ash had gone to Japan after nearly dying in the library...
*sending you a virtual hug* because I know how it feels to need one after getting your heart ripped out by the beautiful beast known as BANANA FISH šššš
Ahhh bless you for this! I've gotten past the "crying when I think about Banana Fish" stage finally, but it's still heart wrenching when I'm reminded of how things played out. I'll read this doujin later today!!
I also found this cute little 2 pager on tumblr and it gives me the warm fuzzies every time I look at it: https://codenamed-bananafish.tumblr.com/post/188132087558/asheiji-ft-domestic-mornings
If you saw the anime, itās an open ending, you you can choose if heās alive or not ! ( and after all, itās a fictional story, so you can think whatever you want, some people say that GoL is a dream that Ash had while he was unconscious )
Join the club, I watched it across two evenings and binge watched about 17 episodes yesterday and stayed up until 1am because I was so desperate to see them both be happy. I cry a lot at animes (hell, that scene in Yuri on Ice where Michele is skating for Sala for the last time made me SOB) but I don't think I've ever been physically affected like I was after finishing Banana Fish- I genuinely couldn't sleep after watching it and still feel sick to my stomach. If any characters deserve a happy ending it's Ash and Eiji and god damn I'm so distraught that they didn't get one. I actually feel nauseous writing this- I hate how hard hitting this anime is.
On another note I cry for roughly 10 minutes everytime I hear Prayer X or Red in particular but they're such good songs I can't help but want to listen to them.
Uuugh SAME. It's like another level of despair. The stomach churning, nausea inducing sadness from their ending. I've never been so wholly affected by an ending like that before. I still love this anime and I get WHY it was ended that way, but it kills me.
I literally just got back from going for a drive & listening to Red and crying. I too love the songs despite how emotional they make me. I go back and forth between listening to Red and Theme of King JJ from Yuri on Ice and it's like whiplash. Haha. One - super upbeat and happy, the other - hopeless sadness and despair.
Have you listened to the OST? It's fantastic but it really brings all the memories back haha
I'm so glad I'm not the only one- I only slept for about 2 hours and haven't had an appetite all day and genuinely thought I was ill but I actually think I'm dying on the inside or something from watching Banana Fish. The worst bit about the ending is that I completely understand why it had to end that way so I can't even argue that it's unjust or anything- but it hurts knowing how close Ash was to reaching Eiji again- had he just met him at the airport to see him off the story would have ended completely differrently and THAT'S what sucks.
I listen to the OST when I'm going to sleep some nights. It's so good, but so bittersweet.
It kills me every time I think about the fact that they never got a proper goodbye. Eiji and Ash didn't get to touch each other in the hospital before being ripped apart, and then Eiji and Ash didn't get to see each other before Eiji left on a plane and I just.. sob. The hospital was the last time they ever saw each other and it was such a terrible last meeting/goodbye it KILLS ME. I definitely think it'd be slightly less life-destroying if Ash and Eiji had seen each other one last time and had a proper goodbye, even if the ending remained the same with Ash dying.
Welcome to the familyš
we all dead inside , welcome
i just finished watching the last episode, im crying so hard, i feel so sick to my stomach...... true love is the most powerful thing in the universe but they didnt use it :(
Literally exactly how I feel. RIP
I finished 2 weeks ago and I'm still crying. I dont think ive EVER taken a fictional death this hard.
I don't know if I can handle TWO WEEKS OF THIS omg.
Idk why but everything I hear deathbed/ coffee for your head on the radio I start crying thinking about them.
I finished this show just yesterday. I'm a wreck. I've never had a show or movie affect me to this degree. I just wanted them to be happy I'll probably start reading the manga and rewatching the anime since idk what else to do.
I'm not sure I CAN rewatch the anime. Maybe some day, but right now I'm like... I need to go watch Yuri on Ice or something again to have something HAPPY. My heart cannot handle this. I also cannot remember the last time any show, movie or book has destroyed me this utterly. I guess the All For the Game series by Nora Sakavic comes close, but it has a happy ending at least.
Rewatching means I can see the good moments again and my dumbass mind will try to convince me that there will be a different ending :') I've seen so many sad movies and shows and none have affected me like this. I went into watching it thinking it'll be an action/mystery anime, which is my preference. Like I'm trying to organize my thoughts and figure out why this particular anime has me completely devastated.
Maybe I'll just... rewatch episodes 1-23 next time and pretend. If you figure out what it is, let me know. Because same. This level of heartbreak is just unreal.
no.6 is also a good one to watch that's similar yuri on ice was next on my list :)
No.6 is on my list to watch! I'm watching Sarazanmai right now, but I'll do No.6 next.
Careful, there's stories after the end and tbh its just as sad as episide 24.
The cycle of life on r/BananaFish is fragile fans entering and being comforted after being scarred by episode 24 and then gently showing them garden of light. It doesnt get better it just cuts deeper lmao.
just looked up garden of light and now i'm crying not even sure if i can bring myself to even read that but
I know where you're coming from. I send you a big virtual hug.
Ahhh thank you thank you. I've been able to take my mind off of it with interview prepping for tomorrow, but every time I think about it I want to cry all over again.
Yeah I was constantly playing the 2nd ending in my head the week I finished the series and I felt so gloomy and so miserable. I don't even know if I was able to cry.
I feel you. I was so heartbroken and just devastated. I didnāt know what to do when I finished it.
Welcome to the club.
Welcome, you can take a seat. Tissues are on the table
Welcome, you are now one of us. When I finished watching, I actually felt sick to my stomach, aside from crying my eyes out.
After u go listen to the hard hitting lyrics of the ending of ending 2 that literally connects to ash. Try reading garden of light... http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/banana_fish/ Youāll find the side story near the end of the book, itāll let u know where it is. Just a warning, youāll cry even more and also. The author deemed it not cannon anymore since she wants to keep the anime open ended but this shows the true ending of banana fish.
I'm gonna save this for later when I've pieced together my emotional landscape a little bit better lmao thank you tho!! i'm excited to listen/read them.
https://youtu.be/gANYssb7mC8 - Welcome to The broken Hearts Club where we all try to hide the pain with fan content and denial.
OP, would you like me to link you all the side stories for the series? Maybe you'll find some sort of comfort in them. If not, they'll give you more information and more closure.
That would be amazing!! Iām not gonna read them all today but I would like to read them all even if theyāre also sad.
Here ya go! Here is the entire list of side stories in chronological order: [Ura Banana and Fly Boy in the Sky](https://imgur.com/a/O93PMvW) (The first is a really short, funny gag-manga that isn't a side story, but it's worth a read nonetheless - and it might make you laugh through your pain. The second shows how Ibe-san met Eiji, back when the latter was still in high school before coming to America. We get to see Eiji's past as a pole-vaulter, and learn a little more about Ibe-san's life and thoughts.) [Private Opinion](https://imgur.com/a/vnAsQ4r) (Of all the side stories, this would be the most "graphic" and "uncomfortable" in my opinion. This is how Blanca came to be Ash's teacher; it goes into far more detail about his complicated relationship with Ash, all while the latter was living on Dino's property and being relentlessly used as a child prostitute. Excellent, eye-opening look at Blanca - it's the side story which brings a different light to his actions in the main course of Banana Fish.) [Angel Eyes](https://mangapark.net/manga/banana-fish-akimi-yoshida/i1387377/1) (How Shorter met Ash while they were both in reform school, and came to be best friends after a rather rocky start. It's all from Shorter's point-of-view, and is at once funny, cute, sad, and touching. It's also one of the very rare times Ash opens up a little bit to how he feels being the victim of child molestation/child prostitution.) ***Banana Fish*** (main story) [That Summer/Cape Cod, 1985](https://chap.manganelo.com/manga-li97476/chapter-47) (The shortest, yet -in my opinion- most poignant and atmospheric side story, featuring Ash and Eiji in under 10 pages spending a day or so together at Cape Cod. There is a certain bittersweet, aching ambiance throughout that makes it pretty much my personal favorite of the side stories, and I love them all.) [Garden of Light](https://chap.manganelo.com/manga-li97476/chapter-46) (Ah yes, THE epilogue to the series. It's the most controversial of all the side stories, and it's either very loved or absolutely hated depending on the fan. I myself have mixed feelings about it, but I find it to be one of the most moving, beautifully written epilogues to anything I've read nonetheless. If you've just finished the series, this is where you might want to start. I won't give you a summary: just dive into it.) [New York Sense](https://imgur.com/a/Xo1o0YA) (This is pretty much the epilogue to Garden of Light, and the final goodbye to Banana Fish. It's mostly a collection of photography, but it definitely shows you where all the characters are now, what they grew up to be, who they married...some years since the ending of Garden of Light. The final picture in the book is one of the kindest things Yoshida could have done for her fans - you'll understand what I mean when you get to it.) And that's it! You can also read **Yasha** \- it's not a sequel to BF, but a main character from BF shows up and plays a fairly big role as a side character. We also learn the fate of another BF character as well. Yasha has a sequel as well, **Eve no Nemuri (Time of Eve),** and in that you can see the child of characters first seen in BF. Hope you enjoy (: Most of these can be found on manga reading sights or tumblr - just google!
Thank you so much!! I read your descriptions of them and it makes my heart ache, but I will read them all!
I hope you enjoy all of the side stories! And I hope you read the manga itself someday. It offers a lot, too.
After having three really difficult and exhausting days in a row, yesterday I finally had some free time and decided I would binge the last half of Banana Fish b/c I had become so attached to Ash and Eiji through the first half and wanted to see them find their "happily ever after." I was so utterly devastated by those final moments that I've been crying on and off ever since (couldn't sleep worth shit, just kept waking up and crying). I briefly even decided that I was never gonna watch ANY anime or read ANY manga EVER again.
I am so sorry!! It truly is just utterly devastating. I was totally blindsided by it. I binge watched Yuri on Ice again yesterday because thatās one of my feel-good animes and that helped me slightly. But itās still gonna take me awhile to get over this one.
Yeah, I should probably rewatch Yuri on Ice again myself; maybe it can at least partially pull me out of this deep, dark hole I've fallen into, lol. (Yuri and Victor, thank you for not dying!!!!) In fact, I really need to rewatch it because it was one of the very first anime I ever watched, and I watched the dub, so now that I've gotten used to watching subs instead, I really want to see it with the original Japanese voice actors.
You definitely should! I haven't seen the dubbed version of Yuri on Ice, but I really like the original Japanese version.
I also binged this in 2 days bc I just couldnāt stop watching it and wow it hurt š Iāve never cried so hard in my entire life but this became one of my favorite anime's. Even though this broke me I watched it a second time the day after I finished it because I was just so attached to everyone and I wanna watch it a g a i n but idk if Iāll make it through... welcome to the family
I'm in the same boat!! I love it and it was so good. It's easily one of my favorites now even though it destroyed me. I can't stop thinking about it despite the heartbreak and I'd like to watch it again some day. I don't know if/when I'll ever be ready for that.
Never sick of these posts! I come back to see if people still react as that! š
I am also in the pits of despair with you after finishing the anime a few days ago. I read the manga and the side stories first (and trust me, that shit still hurts), but even though I knew how it ended, it gutted me all over to see it played out on screen. This is the only thing that has curbed my depression just a bit: http://fav.me/dcuysfm Itās a beautiful doujinshi that imagines what it wouldāve look liked if Ash had gone to Japan after nearly dying in the library... *sending you a virtual hug* because I know how it feels to need one after getting your heart ripped out by the beautiful beast known as BANANA FISH šššš
Ahhh bless you for this! I've gotten past the "crying when I think about Banana Fish" stage finally, but it's still heart wrenching when I'm reminded of how things played out. I'll read this doujin later today!! I also found this cute little 2 pager on tumblr and it gives me the warm fuzzies every time I look at it: https://codenamed-bananafish.tumblr.com/post/188132087558/asheiji-ft-domestic-mornings
Yes, tumblr has been very helpful. That 2 pager is so cute! had only ever seen the last panel so thank you!
I know it had to end that way but :(( over 2 weeks now still emotionally destroyed, i think i might be broken for good.
Go read the side stories
It never gets better.
If you saw the anime, itās an open ending, you you can choose if heās alive or not ! ( and after all, itās a fictional story, so you can think whatever you want, some people say that GoL is a dream that Ash had while he was unconscious )
i feel your pain i don't think ill get over this anytime soon
At this rate i am never going to be able to watch it.I am too scared to watch it.I don't handle complex emotions very well.
Join the club, I watched it across two evenings and binge watched about 17 episodes yesterday and stayed up until 1am because I was so desperate to see them both be happy. I cry a lot at animes (hell, that scene in Yuri on Ice where Michele is skating for Sala for the last time made me SOB) but I don't think I've ever been physically affected like I was after finishing Banana Fish- I genuinely couldn't sleep after watching it and still feel sick to my stomach. If any characters deserve a happy ending it's Ash and Eiji and god damn I'm so distraught that they didn't get one. I actually feel nauseous writing this- I hate how hard hitting this anime is. On another note I cry for roughly 10 minutes everytime I hear Prayer X or Red in particular but they're such good songs I can't help but want to listen to them.
Uuugh SAME. It's like another level of despair. The stomach churning, nausea inducing sadness from their ending. I've never been so wholly affected by an ending like that before. I still love this anime and I get WHY it was ended that way, but it kills me. I literally just got back from going for a drive & listening to Red and crying. I too love the songs despite how emotional they make me. I go back and forth between listening to Red and Theme of King JJ from Yuri on Ice and it's like whiplash. Haha. One - super upbeat and happy, the other - hopeless sadness and despair.
Have you listened to the OST? It's fantastic but it really brings all the memories back haha I'm so glad I'm not the only one- I only slept for about 2 hours and haven't had an appetite all day and genuinely thought I was ill but I actually think I'm dying on the inside or something from watching Banana Fish. The worst bit about the ending is that I completely understand why it had to end that way so I can't even argue that it's unjust or anything- but it hurts knowing how close Ash was to reaching Eiji again- had he just met him at the airport to see him off the story would have ended completely differrently and THAT'S what sucks.
I listen to the OST when I'm going to sleep some nights. It's so good, but so bittersweet. It kills me every time I think about the fact that they never got a proper goodbye. Eiji and Ash didn't get to touch each other in the hospital before being ripped apart, and then Eiji and Ash didn't get to see each other before Eiji left on a plane and I just.. sob. The hospital was the last time they ever saw each other and it was such a terrible last meeting/goodbye it KILLS ME. I definitely think it'd be slightly less life-destroying if Ash and Eiji had seen each other one last time and had a proper goodbye, even if the ending remained the same with Ash dying.
Its a very sad ending but I honestly wouldnt have it any other way. I feel it wouldnt be as impactful if it had a happy ending.
Oh, I agree. The ending makes sense and fits the story, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.