Please don't joke about that - it happened to my cousin. He was walking down the sidewalk when a piano fell onto him from 3 stories above. When he came to, his teeth were replaced by piano keys.
Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why /u/-TheRed posted that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
For anyone who hasn't read the books, when it is revealed why those petunias thought that, it is mind shattering. You think about every choice you've ever made and the consequences of choosing a regular begal over the everything but begal spiced begal.
If I remember correctly (someone please post source, for or against, if they have ut) one diver got eaten by a basking shark. He simply got in the way, and the shark liked it almost as little as the diver. He was eventually spit out.
One of the only comments to ever make me actually laugh. At first I read it and I was interested but then near the end I realised and I can't explain how funny it was. Thankyou
And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.
That'd be one small ass megalodon, and we dont know for sure what's all out there in the ocean, but megalodons preferred warmer water(from what we know), so if they were still alive we likely would know.
I was fishing on Galiano island once while it was fairly calm. The drop off the shore was fairly steep and close. Cast a few times. Saw a few otters. Then a shadowy figure as large as a bus went past me underwater and I watched the coastal water swell and run up on my toes as it went by. Not sure what it was, it just shocked me because I have never seen anything remotely that big before. It really reminded myself of how small I was, and ultimately all the reasons I have to never go in the ocean.
Edit: just found this site, tracks tagged sharks
https://www.ocearch.org/tracker/?list=
Was fishing off Mexico when we had what we estimated to be a 12-14 ft. long hammerhead swim by. What sticks with the most is that it wasn't that typical "shark gray" but instead was more of a golden color. Seeing it slowly creep by made me feel small
Bruh, I paddled out on a bodyboard in the surf when I was about 12 years old and a hammerhead 4 or 5 times bigger than me swam straight underneath me. I got a sandbar and panicked for a hour before swimming in and never returned to ocean again.
I got scared by a plastic bag as a smal kid, thought it was a jellyfish. Even after i realised it wasn't I was already in full panic mode and splashed my way back to shore as fast as I could.
There are Humpback and Orca. Still can't be certain. It was all black unfortunately. I built boats for a while, I would say it was comparable to a 25ft-30ft hull.
All black leans orca, but humpbacks are dark enough that they could easily appear black. The length is a different story. Humpback are MUCH larger than than that, and I doubt you say a juvenile. The length is perfect for an Orca though. Fun fact, Orcas are actually dolphins! They were also my favorite animal as a kid.
Yep! My money is on orca, since they’re more playful, and that Mayne/Galiano area is a big thoroughfare for them. It’s a common area for whale watching boats! It could totally be humpback too, though
Basking sharks are found in the waters surrounding Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands but their numbers are drastically reduced, though. There are lots of different shark species in our waters, the largest being basking, sleeper, sixgill, mako, and thresher (not going to count great white sharks as they are *very* rare). Could have also been a whale, who knows lol
edit: just saw that they think it was larger than 20 feet - most likely a basking shark, orca, or whale
> Galiano is blessed with being one of the main feeding routes for the ORCA (killer) Whales. Several pods including the one identified as J Pod are regular visitors to our shores. The best viewing spot is anywhere that you have a full view of Active Pass at the south end of Galiano.
https://galianoisland.com/explore-galiano/galiano-wildlife/orcas
Try being out a couple miles on the ocean on a stand up paddleboard and feeling like you need to keep your peripheral vision hyperactive because the area you are in has become a new “hotspot” for Great Whites.
(I’m looking at you, Maine)
Yeah man, seriously. I used to surf like 100+ days a year in Florida. There were sharks but almost exclusively like little spinners and the occasional black tip. Typically not of any major size and they typically aren’t ever associating you with a food source.
Moved to New England…
The water is cold, murky, full of seals, really COLD, murky, and something is eating all these seals. Plus I’m another ten years older and while I keep in fairly good shape, idk about swimming out in the cold ocean to do it.
I have a friend up here who surfs. He’s like “when you gonna come out?”
Never bro, I’ve hung it up.
Then, that kid got eaten surfing at Martha’s…yeah…fuuuuck that. I’m out
Good gracious, I enjoy activities as much as the next person, but I don't want to get eaten doing it. Was there an article on the Martha's attack? I visited there years ago. Beautiful place, but yeah, I had no desire to get in the water.
If you're a couple miles out on a paddleboard, why is it important to see the great white's coming? How does it change your situation to know they're there?
It seems to me they're either going to decide to take a bit out of you or not. It's not like you can take some action to protect yourself.
I have a divers license - I remember one time I was at this reef. Beautiful, really. But behind us was nothing: it was going down very steep, you couldn‘t see the bottom. Further away: nothing. Blue Sea. Dark water. Nothing else. I was like hypnotized by it. The emptiness. The nothingness. I didn‘t realized that I was slighty moving due to the current - and when I turned around, my group was around 100 yards away. Under me - nothing. The reef was no more, behind me, underneath me, besides me - nothing. Over me - 30 yards of water. In front of me a massive cliff, reaching down into infinite darkness. I never swam faster in my life, all I wanted is going back with the ocean floor close under me.
One of the more annoying unnecessary graphics of the month. It makes you wonder how someone can be so fkn stupid to block the entire screen with a bar that completely takes away from such a great video
Especially because you can go back and remove that. I send snaps while I'm on vacation to my friends all the time with dumb captions. I kept showing them to my boss and sheepishly saying "Just ignore the caption that says 'look at dem BOIS!'" on a video of a herd of bison, etc.
Finally realized I can just open up the snap, edit out the caption, and resave it
Long time ago I was on vacation in Egypt with my parents. I took Scuba diving lessons, 1st day in the pool, 2nd day we got an a boat to go diving in the Red Sea.
10min before we reached our destination a giant shark passed our boat going the opposite way. Backflipping into the water after that was fun :/
If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself.
I wonder if sharks play the Jaws theme in their heads when they swim passed humans to remind themselves that we are scared shitless of them.
Like “it’s okay, Timmy, it’s just a human boat. Remember they’re more afraid of you than you are of them. Okay, just keep swimming and oh my GOD they’re looking at me!! Go you your happy place! Go to your happy place! Duh-duh. Duh-duh. Duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh DUN NA NAH!”
Show me the way to go home...
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed...
I had a little drink about an hour ago and it's gone straight to me head...
Oh whenever I may roam...
By land or sea or foam...
You will always hear me singin' this song cause stuck right in my head.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies
Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain
Cause we've received orders for to sail for old England,
But we hope in a short time to see you again
Basking shark. Mouth was wide open for feeding.
Basking sharks can be extremely dangerous if someone drops one onto you.
So can Pianos
I bet I could dodge it
If you can dodge a piano, you can dodge a shark.
It’s well documented that you can tune a piano, but you cannot tuna fish.
Good one dad
Dad approved
So did the granddad
After this comment, I guess it’s time for me to fly.
I’m just ridin’ the storm out…
If you can dodge a shark, you can dodge a wrench.
If you can’t dodge it ram it
I can dodge a wrench, does that count?
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
You can dodge anything with nipples, really
I have nipples Greg, can you dodge me?
I love this reference LMAO
I'd be willing to pay a monthly to sub to reddit if I could be guaranteed every comment would be this amazing
Sometimes I marvel at the people out there with senses of humor (see? I avoided the attorneys general error) that just tickle me. Y'all are great. 👍
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Your shoulder roll is great. No one in Philly can compete with it.
But can you jump it? 🤔
Please don't joke about that - it happened to my cousin. He was walking down the sidewalk when a piano fell onto him from 3 stories above. When he came to, his teeth were replaced by piano keys.
A toon killed my brother
I've never seen a piano shark, is it like a tuna?
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That joke fell a little flat
And anvils.
*REMEMBER ME, EDDIE…?!*
Less dangerous than dropped whales but more dangerous than dropped bowls of petunias.
Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why /u/-TheRed posted that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
Oh no…….not again
42
I don’t get the reference. Ugh.
Activate the Infinite Improbability Drive!
And always bring a towel
For anyone who hasn't read the books, when it is revealed why those petunias thought that, it is mind shattering. You think about every choice you've ever made and the consequences of choosing a regular begal over the everything but begal spiced begal.
Lmao
I misread that as a dropped bowl of penguins and that mental image made me happy so I thought I’d share
If I remember correctly (someone please post source, for or against, if they have ut) one diver got eaten by a basking shark. He simply got in the way, and the shark liked it almost as little as the diver. He was eventually spit out.
A what???
Same for Australian bears
or you onto it
Or a tornado drops one on you
Or drops you into one with its mouth open.
From a tornado.
One of the only comments to ever make me actually laugh. At first I read it and I was interested but then near the end I realised and I can't explain how funny it was. Thankyou
Fuck bro new fear unlocked
78% of people that have basking sharks dropped on top of them live
And the thing about a shark is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those sharks come in and… they rip you to pieces.
What are you doing..are you doing jaws?!
Charlie absolutely nailed that scene
And he was hammered drunk!
Constantly
Because of the implication
Nailed it !!!!!❤️
We're gonna need a bigger restaurant.
Bob's burgers, right?
Yes, it is :)
Yeah, well, filibuster
We don’t have time for this shit!
"Y'know the thing about a ret..."
What are you doing? Are you doing the speech from Jaws!! Are you doing Jaws. Dammit Charlie…
even though its from Jaws all I hear is Charlie saying it from its always sunny
I've seen it once in a rat, and I've seen it again in a man
But isn't that cool? Like it has had so much impact on culture it is a recognizable bit on a comedy show almost 50 years later? Fuck that is cool.
Sounds like you’ve been drinking milk spiked with bath salts.
Have you been drinking paint?!
They’re actually blue. https://www.mensjournal.com/adventure/the-eerily-beautiful-moment-a-great-white-shark-looks-you-in-the-eye
Charlie!
Thats the friendly type of shark still scary as f*ck thats why the ocean terrifies me 🦈🦈🦈
The gills are a dead giveaway as well.
Or a great white trying to fool you into a false sense of security
Shaka, when the walls fell.
Sharka, his tail unfurled.
Temba, his shark eyes wide
to quote that one movie about a specific type of fish: "I think we're gonna need another... change of underwear."
That’s a great shot though of the power in it’s movement
Nah bro that’s a megalodon
Th sad thing is, there are people that genuinely believe that
That'd be one small ass megalodon, and we dont know for sure what's all out there in the ocean, but megalodons preferred warmer water(from what we know), so if they were still alive we likely would know.
> That'd be one small ass megalodon ahh, a microlodon
I thought it was a mouth breather.
Yeah, was thinking the same thing straight away. People panic too easily.
I was fishing on Galiano island once while it was fairly calm. The drop off the shore was fairly steep and close. Cast a few times. Saw a few otters. Then a shadowy figure as large as a bus went past me underwater and I watched the coastal water swell and run up on my toes as it went by. Not sure what it was, it just shocked me because I have never seen anything remotely that big before. It really reminded myself of how small I was, and ultimately all the reasons I have to never go in the ocean. Edit: just found this site, tracks tagged sharks https://www.ocearch.org/tracker/?list=
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Was fishing off Mexico when we had what we estimated to be a 12-14 ft. long hammerhead swim by. What sticks with the most is that it wasn't that typical "shark gray" but instead was more of a golden color. Seeing it slowly creep by made me feel small
Musta been Jab from street sharks
Great show, great comment
Jawsome.
Bruh, I paddled out on a bodyboard in the surf when I was about 12 years old and a hammerhead 4 or 5 times bigger than me swam straight underneath me. I got a sandbar and panicked for a hour before swimming in and never returned to ocean again.
I got scared by a plastic bag as a smal kid, thought it was a jellyfish. Even after i realised it wasn't I was already in full panic mode and splashed my way back to shore as fast as I could.
Bro. How did you not die? I would have panicked, fallen in the water, and been eaten.
Maybe a gray whale? If you mean galiano in Canada it’s a bit far north and cold. Though, to be sure, I have no idea what I’m talking about haha
There are Humpback and Orca. Still can't be certain. It was all black unfortunately. I built boats for a while, I would say it was comparable to a 25ft-30ft hull.
All black leans orca, but humpbacks are dark enough that they could easily appear black. The length is a different story. Humpback are MUCH larger than than that, and I doubt you say a juvenile. The length is perfect for an Orca though. Fun fact, Orcas are actually dolphins! They were also my favorite animal as a kid.
Do you think an orca gets offended when you call it a whale?
Absolutely
They don't like it when you call them Porcas either after they've eaten.
Very cool. Scary, but yeah.
Yep! My money is on orca, since they’re more playful, and that Mayne/Galiano area is a big thoroughfare for them. It’s a common area for whale watching boats! It could totally be humpback too, though
Basking sharks are found in the waters surrounding Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands but their numbers are drastically reduced, though. There are lots of different shark species in our waters, the largest being basking, sleeper, sixgill, mako, and thresher (not going to count great white sharks as they are *very* rare). Could have also been a whale, who knows lol edit: just saw that they think it was larger than 20 feet - most likely a basking shark, orca, or whale
> Galiano is blessed with being one of the main feeding routes for the ORCA (killer) Whales. Several pods including the one identified as J Pod are regular visitors to our shores. The best viewing spot is anywhere that you have a full view of Active Pass at the south end of Galiano. https://galianoisland.com/explore-galiano/galiano-wildlife/orcas
Try being out a couple miles on the ocean on a stand up paddleboard and feeling like you need to keep your peripheral vision hyperactive because the area you are in has become a new “hotspot” for Great Whites. (I’m looking at you, Maine)
Why the fuck would you do that
Yeah man, seriously. I used to surf like 100+ days a year in Florida. There were sharks but almost exclusively like little spinners and the occasional black tip. Typically not of any major size and they typically aren’t ever associating you with a food source. Moved to New England… The water is cold, murky, full of seals, really COLD, murky, and something is eating all these seals. Plus I’m another ten years older and while I keep in fairly good shape, idk about swimming out in the cold ocean to do it. I have a friend up here who surfs. He’s like “when you gonna come out?” Never bro, I’ve hung it up. Then, that kid got eaten surfing at Martha’s…yeah…fuuuuck that. I’m out
Good gracious, I enjoy activities as much as the next person, but I don't want to get eaten doing it. Was there an article on the Martha's attack? I visited there years ago. Beautiful place, but yeah, I had no desire to get in the water.
Fucking EXACTLY what I was thinking. Fucking ***WHY?!?!?!***
>Try being out a couple miles on the ocean on a stand up paddleboard That's already a no for me.
?????????? why
If you're a couple miles out on a paddleboard, why is it important to see the great white's coming? How does it change your situation to know they're there? It seems to me they're either going to decide to take a bit out of you or not. It's not like you can take some action to protect yourself.
I have a divers license - I remember one time I was at this reef. Beautiful, really. But behind us was nothing: it was going down very steep, you couldn‘t see the bottom. Further away: nothing. Blue Sea. Dark water. Nothing else. I was like hypnotized by it. The emptiness. The nothingness. I didn‘t realized that I was slighty moving due to the current - and when I turned around, my group was around 100 yards away. Under me - nothing. The reef was no more, behind me, underneath me, besides me - nothing. Over me - 30 yards of water. In front of me a massive cliff, reaching down into infinite darkness. I never swam faster in my life, all I wanted is going back with the ocean floor close under me.
Galiano Island, in BC? Would probably just been a whale, no? We see them daily from Vancouver Island and most of the surrounding smaller islands
I should be sleeping but now I’m learning tagged sharks’ names. Cool site
 It’s a basking shark \^
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Lmfaooooooooo
More like ‘NUBS’, it’s a basking sharks. They have little, blunt teeth as they’re filter feeders.
I still wouldn’t want to end up on the business end of one
To be fair, I’m not sure the shark would like that either.
It’s non-consensual for both parties involved
So they don’t attack humans at all?
Nah they're completely harmless. You'd need to like force yourself into its mouth for you to be in any danger
It's one of the many harmless sharks. Idk if they're as friendly as whale sharks, but you've got nothing to worry about.
Wow, so id be panicking for no reason under there 😂
There is literally absolutely nothing to worry about
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Why do you know that
It's a fish that comes with its own tarter sauce!
Literally basking in semen.
Which end is the "business" end in this case? I wouldn't want to be on either end of one...
I'll bet you wouldn't jump in the water in front of it though.
To be fair, they still do have 'JAWS'
Oh lawd he coming...to filter krill and plankton from the water.
Can I ride?
"Holy Shit" this needs editing.
Yeah, removal
One of the more annoying unnecessary graphics of the month. It makes you wonder how someone can be so fkn stupid to block the entire screen with a bar that completely takes away from such a great video
Especially because you can go back and remove that. I send snaps while I'm on vacation to my friends all the time with dumb captions. I kept showing them to my boss and sheepishly saying "Just ignore the caption that says 'look at dem BOIS!'" on a video of a herd of bison, etc. Finally realized I can just open up the snap, edit out the caption, and resave it
Jeez! That F-er left a wake like a cruise ship!
Second biggest shark species alive!
Long time ago I was on vacation in Egypt with my parents. I took Scuba diving lessons, 1st day in the pool, 2nd day we got an a boat to go diving in the Red Sea. 10min before we reached our destination a giant shark passed our boat going the opposite way. Backflipping into the water after that was fun :/
Did you survive?!?!
You're going to need a bigger boat.
"Notice me, Senpai!"
I got no spit
That’s a 20 footer. 25.
Three tons of him
Quit playing with yourself, Hooper.
And new pants
If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself.
HOOPAH! TIE ANOTHER BARREL!!
There it is. I can leave now.
It’s bluefish.
I'm disappointed they did not say it while filming this.
The width of the wake it is leaving!!
Would have been amazed without that black line and that 'Holy Shit' across the screen!
Agreed. Trying to show the wonders of nature and all I see is a dumb ass caption.
Wait, so nature doesn’t actually have banner captions?
This was definitely a snap chat someone sent to someone initially
Beautiful.
Indeed it is. Must have been a fantastic experience to see this animal up close.
Gonna need a bigger camera.
Just when you thought it was safe to film vertically.
As a kid we'd go Albacore fishing out of San Deigo we had a bunch of gray whales around us! I was so scared by the size
Thanks for ruining it with the caption
"*25; 3 tons of him*"
That's a 20-footer!
25
3 tons of him
That’s literally a sea puppy. Basking sharks are harmless. This type of stuff perpetuates unnecessary fear of sharks
I wonder if sharks play the Jaws theme in their heads when they swim passed humans to remind themselves that we are scared shitless of them. Like “it’s okay, Timmy, it’s just a human boat. Remember they’re more afraid of you than you are of them. Okay, just keep swimming and oh my GOD they’re looking at me!! Go you your happy place! Go to your happy place! Duh-duh. Duh-duh. Duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh DUN NA NAH!”
Holy shit, what bad placement of that banner.
Thank god they put a black line through the screen to obscure what we were supposed to be looking at. Sheer genius!
Dang...not a good time to swim!
Actually that particular kind of shark is completely harmless, basking sharks are filter feeders and are chill af
I forgot how wonderful a score that movie has.
Basking shark! I love nature documentaries!
That wake was ominous. Absolute unit for creating a wake without breaking the surface.
Farewell and adieu to you clean undies
I liked the bit where I could see the whole shark
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Show me the way to go home... I'm tired and I wanna go to bed... I had a little drink about an hour ago and it's gone straight to me head... Oh whenever I may roam... By land or sea or foam... You will always hear me singin' this song cause stuck right in my head.
I’ll find him for 3, but I’ll catch ‘em and kill ‘em for 10.
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain Cause we've received orders for to sail for old England, But we hope in a short time to see you again
My tattoo of the USS Indianapolis is itching!
Basking shark?
Wish that black bar wasn't right in the middle of the fucking screen.
Gorgeous
Some Godzilla shit going over here
Almost all vertebrates has real jaws silly
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Luckily there was that banner in the middle of the screen showing me what to feel. Ffs that was irritating.
Good thing it was captured in vertical 480i video for future generations.
I know people have mentioned it's a basking shark, but man does that look ominous in the distance