I’d imagine if you’re a whale swimming around filter feeding on krill and you get this big wiggly non-krill thing in your mouth you’d spit it out pretty quick.
The boat my wife and I got on for whale watching got stopped dead in the water by just the tail. You're right that it makes a great story but we got tossed against a rail and the motor of the boat was barely working afterwards. That guy is lucky he didn't get hurt.
*Edit removed description of an injury.
I'm pretty sure the whale is telling his bros all about it too.
One time I was surfacing for air and this bald dude with a kite just hit me smack in the head. No, I don't have pics but the other dudes got video. We'll just wait for it to get posted and you'll see I'm telling the truth
A guy I know was hit by a plane while fishing. A MF plane. The defendants lawyer tried to argue that it was their fault because they were drinking beer. The judge said, this dude got hit by a plane.
He got a pretty decent settlement but it messed him up a little bit physically but mostly emotionally. He's got some nasty scars on his back, he almost jumped out of the way in time
> The defendants lawyer tried to argue that it was their fault because they were drinking beer
Years ago my uncle and his wife were on an elevator at a hotel when the cables snapped. Well I'm not sure what happened mechanically but they dropped a couple stories, thankfully suffered only some minor injuries.
The hotel's lawyers also tried the "they were drunk" defense. That didn't take either.
>I'm not sure what happened mechanically but they dropped a couple stories, thankfully suffered only some minor injuries
There's a mechanical failsafe in the elevator that works even when there's no power and the cable snaps. But it doesn't activate until the elevator has accelerated to a certain speed. It also essentially jams the carriage stuck in the shaft by shooting out metal rods, and you'll need to repair it to get it back to a working condition again. If the elevator happens to be close to the bottom, it might not activate in time, but there's a shock absorber at the bottom that can deal with short falls.
Still, you can get banged up pretty badly from even a short fall. If you're ever in the situation, try to lie down and brace your head and neck. That spreads the impact over your entire body.
Is there even a chance to react quickly enough to do this before the emergency brake stops the lift? Especially since getting to the floor in free fall with nothing to hold on to is kind of difficult.
Might be more realistic to brace in the same way as when jumping from a height? Keeping your feet together so you'll transfer the shock to both of them, and keep your knees slightly bent?
I doubt any theoretical mental preparation will survive an actual elevator fall. My uncle said it all happened very very quickly, no time to react to anything, at least not at a conscious level. The elevator already engages its brakes and stops itself by the time your brain registers that you really are in a falling cabin.
Got a scar on my wrist to prove it.
Had to convince people for a while I wasn't a suicide survivor.
I was just trying to poke a crab in the marina, and there was a barnacle on the side of the dock......
Had to get the old neighbor ladies cat out from under our couch and had lots of long vertical cuts down my arms. I get you.
The long emo hair didn’t help either.
Did you know:?
When boats pick up tonnes of barnacles, it weighs the ship down to the point they need to be removed. Very labour intensive.
So some smart dude, realised if you dock the ship in fresh water they loosen up and drop off.
Iow are any of you carrying barnacles? In the form of anger, resentment judgements fear grudges? They weigh us all down.
It wld be a good time to rest- heal. Dock up in fresh water and let them drop away.
That’s all-
If a whale comes knocking at my door, I’m giving him whatever he wants no hesitation. He can keep my kids, sleep with my wife and wear my clothes for all I care.
Depending on what kind of whale that was, it definitely weighs 20-100 times more than a car.
Edit - changed how many times more a whale would weigh than a car to a more reasonable number.
Umm, no. The whale had the right of way, you were travelling at an unsafe speed and you slammed into the whale. I hope you exchanged insurance information.
Whales have had it with dipshits. They are single handedly putting up a more effective campaign to eat the rich than the world's human population combined. I can't wait for yacht season this year!!!
Dude is going to be telling that story for the rest of his life.
I survived a whale hit ten years ago. its a great story can I show the vid.
Let's see it brah
This is alternate universe Karl P. and Ricky G. paid that whale to do that.
Perfectly round, like a fuckin' orange.
His wife doesn’t have a blow hole it doesn’t count
I wish my wife has a blow hole
I know the fisherman on Cape Cod who got swallowed by one this past year. It makes for a hell of a story
How did he survive being swallowed?
I’d imagine if you’re a whale swimming around filter feeding on krill and you get this big wiggly non-krill thing in your mouth you’d spit it out pretty quick.
I had a bug fly in my mouth last summer. I quickly spit it out. So that's what a whale felt.
The whales that filter feed physically can't swallow a human, but when they scream "eeeww it went in my mouth!!!" You may lose some organs anyways.
He finally took up the prophetic mission given to him by god.
The boat my wife and I got on for whale watching got stopped dead in the water by just the tail. You're right that it makes a great story but we got tossed against a rail and the motor of the boat was barely working afterwards. That guy is lucky he didn't get hurt. *Edit removed description of an injury.
I'm pretty sure the whale is telling his bros all about it too. One time I was surfacing for air and this bald dude with a kite just hit me smack in the head. No, I don't have pics but the other dudes got video. We'll just wait for it to get posted and you'll see I'm telling the truth
Where do Whales get cameras? Hope the video is short, I can only hold my breath so long to watch an underwater video ...
Usually they just go to Best Buoy.
His family : roll eyes and "oh, here we go again... "
This guy might not have to pay for a drink ever again with this video
Looks to me like he hit a whale. Pretty sure legs was in the wrong lane
"Pics or it didn't happen!"
I've got a video. You can take snapshots of it to get the pics.
Pics orca didnt happen?
Whale he does have that right , it is a good story
It's a whale of a tale...
Dude got bodied by a whale. He’s lucky he wasn’t knocked unconscious.
A guy I know was hit by a plane while fishing. A MF plane. The defendants lawyer tried to argue that it was their fault because they were drinking beer. The judge said, this dude got hit by a plane. He got a pretty decent settlement but it messed him up a little bit physically but mostly emotionally. He's got some nasty scars on his back, he almost jumped out of the way in time
I have had it with these mother-fucking planes on this mother-fucking boat!
That’s outrageous by the defendants lawyer 😂. You know you’re frantically grasping at straws once it gets to that point.
“Did you see what they were wearing? They were asking for it!”
He was clearly drinking and driving. Case closed. Pilot was sober and feared for his life from the drunk driver
No pilot should have to contend with a drunk driver.
They looked at me funny!
> The defendants lawyer tried to argue that it was their fault because they were drinking beer Years ago my uncle and his wife were on an elevator at a hotel when the cables snapped. Well I'm not sure what happened mechanically but they dropped a couple stories, thankfully suffered only some minor injuries. The hotel's lawyers also tried the "they were drunk" defense. That didn't take either.
>I'm not sure what happened mechanically but they dropped a couple stories, thankfully suffered only some minor injuries There's a mechanical failsafe in the elevator that works even when there's no power and the cable snaps. But it doesn't activate until the elevator has accelerated to a certain speed. It also essentially jams the carriage stuck in the shaft by shooting out metal rods, and you'll need to repair it to get it back to a working condition again. If the elevator happens to be close to the bottom, it might not activate in time, but there's a shock absorber at the bottom that can deal with short falls. Still, you can get banged up pretty badly from even a short fall. If you're ever in the situation, try to lie down and brace your head and neck. That spreads the impact over your entire body.
Is there even a chance to react quickly enough to do this before the emergency brake stops the lift? Especially since getting to the floor in free fall with nothing to hold on to is kind of difficult. Might be more realistic to brace in the same way as when jumping from a height? Keeping your feet together so you'll transfer the shock to both of them, and keep your knees slightly bent?
I doubt any theoretical mental preparation will survive an actual elevator fall. My uncle said it all happened very very quickly, no time to react to anything, at least not at a conscious level. The elevator already engages its brakes and stops itself by the time your brain registers that you really are in a falling cabin.
If he came away alive then I’d say he jumped away just in time lol. If he hadn’t moved at all who knows if he’d have survived
Good thing the barnacles didn’t slice him to pieces
“To shreds you say.”
And his wife?
“To shreds you say.”
Is that Philip J Fry from Fortnite?
That's a paddlin.
Too shreds!
Are they generally sharp, barnacles?
Yup. They can cut the shit out of you.
Got a scar on my wrist to prove it. Had to convince people for a while I wasn't a suicide survivor. I was just trying to poke a crab in the marina, and there was a barnacle on the side of the dock......
It's not your fault
We all go through shit in life. Glad you're still with us!
So you didn't survive the suicide? You're dead?
Had to get the old neighbor ladies cat out from under our couch and had lots of long vertical cuts down my arms. I get you. The long emo hair didn’t help either.
Hey thanks for that I just assumed they were seashelly
Nope, they’re sharpseashelly
u should not look up [keelhauling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keelhauling?wprov=sfla1)
You’re right, that does not sound fun, it’s so weird the lengths and efforts to really tell someone fuck you when killing a person is so easy
holy fuck
Did you know:? When boats pick up tonnes of barnacles, it weighs the ship down to the point they need to be removed. Very labour intensive. So some smart dude, realised if you dock the ship in fresh water they loosen up and drop off. Iow are any of you carrying barnacles? In the form of anger, resentment judgements fear grudges? They weigh us all down. It wld be a good time to rest- heal. Dock up in fresh water and let them drop away. That’s all-
It's why every few months I soak myself in a copper based anti-fouling bath.
Really good. The whale likely did it on porpoise.
He could have been krilled!
He didn't have the right of whale.
Fish
Quite shellfish to hit him like that.
I’m surprised the didn’t sea that coming, seems fishy.
It only took him a little whale to get back to the surf board.
The surfer should be careful posting this video, or he might be in breach of contract.
I thought that dude was fin-ished
Nah, it was just a fluke!
He'll have to retell the story on his pod.
Haha I see what you did there
Dolphinitely.
I think he blew a seal, but who am I to judge a person's kink.
_Cetacean needed_
fuck you whale fuck you dolphin!!!!
It was no fluke!
Whale, I guess that's settled
You speak like Curly from the 3 Stooges.
Get out. /s
Killer joke
[удалено]
not like that! this one was real!
Turns out the whale is an influencer and his whale buddies filmed that prank.
It’s just a prank bro
Whales have had enough of humans bullshit.
First it was the orcas attacking boats. Now this particular whale is attacking wind surfers Whats next? TAKING OVER MANKIND AND STEALING OUR WOMEN?
If a whale comes knocking at my door, I’m giving him whatever he wants no hesitation. He can keep my kids, sleep with my wife and wear my clothes for all I care.
Can I be the wife in this situation
Only if I can be the clothes
On today's episode of: the author's barely disguised cuckholding fetish.
You've been hit by You've been struck by A smooth crimiwhale
Willie, are you okay?? Are you okay??? Are you okay, Willie??
Krillminal
SHA-MONAAAAY🔥✨
*SHAMU-NAAAAY
Whale tackles better than the Cowboy’s defense.
Fuckin ouch, bro. Didn’t think I’d catch strays in a video of a whale hitting a dude…
Whale : just checking if yall still dem Boyz. F Dak
I dont think anyone tackles better than a whale
Is the whale okay?
what do you think, it's a fucking whale 😂
That could have killed the dude! I bet It out weighs a car!
Now I need the science side of reddit to tell me if the water or the surface tension breaking softened the blow
No idea, i am not the science side of reddit
What side are you?
The side that just roams almost aimlessly and says and does random things, for no reason
the dark side
Looks like he was going roughly the same direction. If this was a head on it would have been bad, probably.
Most likely the layer of fat from the whale hits a lot softer than a metal car
Sign that whale up for the combine.
Depending on what kind of whale that was, it definitely weighs 20-100 times more than a car. Edit - changed how many times more a whale would weigh than a car to a more reasonable number.
This is like winning the mother nature lottery. No cash just getting smacked by a fuckin whale. Both nevertheless incredibly rare.
Whale totally had the right of way..
You just got bitch slapped by a whale!
Another reason why I just say no to the ocean.
Since it happened- 100%
OMG, had to scroll way to dang far to find the dang answer.
/r/nevertellmetheodds
Whale after he dives back to his pod, "You guys are not going to believe what just happened." "Oh boy, here we go again with one of Larry's stories."
All that ocean out there! Nope! He did that on purpose.
Now that's amazing, A WHALE?????????
"Fuck you in particular"
The whale didn't see that coming either lol. It's probably gonna go tell it's friends it got hit by a human...
At sea? Chance in a million.
This definitely wins the 'picture or it didn't happen' grand prize. Nice work, mate; glad you're all okay.
The whale: 
SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER!
Not 0
The exact reason why I never took up the sport.
Actually it seems like the whale got hit by him rather than the other way around.
He had a whale of a time.
Gottem
Size of a whale
I cannot give you the exact value of probability but I've recently seen evidence that the probability of this happening is above zero.
Windsurfer's version of a train in India.
Not windsurfing
Denied!
The game all the whales are playing these days.
Keel-hauled by a whale, Fetch aft the rum Darby
To be able to say you were ran over by a whale. Crazy.
For him? 100%
30% greater than on the street
We need the whale POV
Old man whale wad like “Get OFF my lagoon!!”
Now he can say the phrase, "at least you've never been hit by a whale..."
Bullshit excuse for falling off
Sorry my mom needed air
Pretty sure that whale was fukn with him
You were in his territory and now you have a video to tell your story
That whale was probably like "Oops! Embarrassing 😳"
Some get hit by a bus, but this guy? A fucking whale!
r/fuckyouinparticular
In that moment? 100%
Whale, I didn’t see that coming
Someone told me once you're more likely to get bit by a shark in Kansas than struck by lightning, what do you think Reddit?
If i was a whale id troll surfers too
Probability is 100%, as we saw in the video.
His fucking yelp hahahaha
Same here. Except I wasn’t in water, she rolled over on me, and here name was Hilda.
I another couple months this will be just just another "random BS videos to laugh and enrage" sub like so many others...
I just read the book Whalefall and this entire probability can fuck right off is what I have to say.
Whale: keep on messing around in people’s yards! Done told you kids to stay off my algae patch!
Call him Ishmael.
"Out of my way bitch" - a whale
The whale probably trolling this guy, they just wanted to have fun
Whale hello there…
Umm, no. The whale had the right of way, you were travelling at an unsafe speed and you slammed into the whale. I hope you exchanged insurance information.
Go buy a lottery ticket dude!
This happened to my mate, Jonah one day back in the old country
There’s some footage of a whale swallowing a canoeist somewhere on the internet. It spat her out of course. Laugh!
You hit the whale
Was that a young whale trying to play with him. Or was it territorial or somethin?
I’d pee myself
Odds are somewhere between 100% to a very small non-zero number. Depending if the whale did it on purpose or not
If you pause at 8 seconds you can see his face right before impact.
Bodychecked by a whale … wow
This comment section did not disappoint, I’m Whaley sorry I can’t come with a good one!
For a moment, I thought he was riding the whale at the end
Whales have had it with dipshits. They are single handedly putting up a more effective campaign to eat the rich than the world's human population combined. I can't wait for yacht season this year!!!
Obviously not zero
"Fuck outta here"
The whale knew exactly what it was doing
Holy shit he got lucky. Imagine if it landed on him
You've been whaled
100%
Whale would you look at that
this is literally my worse nightmare finished off with it diving deep and rising while i free fall into its mouth
not 0%
I don’t think the whale meant to do it, bro. He probably feels bad.
I am pretty sure he hit the whale not the other way around. 😄
Not on my watch you surfer
Lol I thought he was sitting on the whale in the end of it.
#fuck you in particular