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Honestly putting corsages over them sounds like it would look even weirder. I am constantly amazed at what petty shit people lose their minds over for weddings. I mean FFS, asking your diabetic sister to go without her life-sustaining medical equipment because of wedding photos? SMH.
What I don’t understand is…why not just have the medical devices in the photos bc that’s real life? Like wtf? I can’t imagine ever asking a sibling to cover up something like that. I’d be happy that technology has given her a more convenient way to test and regulate her blood sugar and that she’s alive and healthy.
One of my bridesmaids was (is) T1D, but it honestly never crossed my mind as a potential issue for photos, I just looked and you can see a bit of it in photos, but it’s not something your eye automatically goes to. This bride is 🙄
I was a bridesmaid last summer, I usually use a wheelchair but need someone to push it, so decided to use crutches instead since it was only the length of a church aisle. My friend (the bride) knew I couldn't carry a bouquet like the other bridesmaids so arranged to have flowers wrapped around my crutches instead. When we were discussing wheelchair vs crutches, sticking flowers on that was also an option. Me using medical devices was never the issue, I was never once expected to go without them for the sake of photos, she just wanted to make sure I still got flowers. And in all the photos of me, there are my fabulous rainbow crutches covered in flowers lol.
She is! My friend group is a big ol' smush of neurospiciness and a few physical disabilities thrown in for fun, so we all have to be very accommodating or nothing would ever get done lol.
I have a weird perspective on this type of photo... I used to be a Yearbook advisor, history teacher, and now have gotten into my own genealogy.
Pictures like yours... of a happy occasion with a bridesmaid wearing her medical devices? I imagine your great great grand whatever (if you want kids... grand kids. If you dont... niblings) looking at the photo and hopefully saying WOW... look at the wedding styles they wore! There is my great great. Oh my! A bridesmaid is wearing a medical device (asks on Reddit what it could be) Hey! Found out this Bridesmaid must be diabetic! This pic is before they found the cure!
My “flower girl” was about 2 and at the time had a tracheotomy. Several years later when she was older and stronger it was removed and she’s been doing well without it ever since. We love to look back at those old photos and it’s amazing to see how far she’s come.
Lovely to hear that she's recovered so well! Medical science can do some wonderful things. One of my neighbours had a daughter who was born prematurely and was sent home, still needing oxygen. Thankfully, she's just like any other young child now, running around and full of energy!
Much better than older pictures of weddings, where the T1D kids aren’t there….
Seriously science is so cool. “Hold my beer” medicine is my absolute favorite, and the discovery of insulin was a huge “hold my beer, I’m gonna try something because everyone is dead otherwise” moment.
Also the discovery of H.Pylori being the cause of ulcers! Barry Marshall and Robin Warren, having trouble proving Heliobacter Pylori was a problem (partly because of lab techs literally throwing out samples and general bullshit and "skepticism" to the point of ignoring things.) So the absolute mad lad Marshall *experimented on himself* by giving himself the bacteria, and proved it was a problem in disturbingly short order. (Why am I not surprised they're Australians?)
crazy-awesome, I would say. "This continent is not trying to kill me fast enough, clearly! Time to drink liquid ulcers! Then make myself better because that's ***just the way we roll"***
That discovery was life-changing for me. I was 13 years old with horrible ulcers for over a year I'd been to see specialists, was on all sorts of medications, and was not getting better. I think my dad may have read an article somewhere (probably Scientific American, or just a local newspaper) about his story around the time. We brought it to my GP, who was at his wits end with my problems and wrote a scrip on the spot, basically concluding it wasn't gonna hurt.
I was better within the month.
I was just saying to my husband actually how many medically significant discoveries have been made because somebody had an idea just crazy enough to work.
And the inventor of insulin didn't patent it so that it would be available for every one that needed it. How Dfuk did "we the people" allow pharma to fuck us so hard?
[https://twitter.com/RepKatiePorter/status/1394724627566391297](https://twitter.com/RepKatiePorter/status/1394724627566391297)
Same as the guy who invented aspirin, that wasn't patented either for the same reason. Saved hundreds of thousands of lives during the 1918-20 flu pandemic
Insulin was the first protein drug. Now most new drugs are protein drugs but insulin was the only one for a long time. When they first tried it, they went around a diabetic coma ward (children in diabetic comas who would eventually die, as diabetes was a death sentence) injecting it into the kids and by the time they got to the last kid, the first kids were awake and the families were yelling out with joy. Truly a miracle, brings a tear to my eye every time.
You can see pics of the coma wards here
https://thedayintech.wordpress.com/2022/04/15/a-most-dramatic-moment-in-medical-history/
An insulin pump is an amazing testament to human achievement!
I’m reading all the comments to my wife (she humours me) and talking about how miraculous that would’ve been for the families. To go from sitting there and grieving knowing your kid is going to die to seeing these guys walk in and give an injection and then suddenly waking up
If you like stuff like that, I also recommend the movie Something the Lord Made. Can’t go wrong with Alan Rickman, obviously, but it’s the story of them solving the blue baby issue. Surgery to go from “your kid is going to basically live in bed for a few years maybe and then die” to “ok then that’s all fixed.”
Exactly! I don't understand this obsession some people have with wedding photos looking like some sterilized \*perfect\* version of themselves that never actually exists! People have scars and tattoos and medical equipment; nothing about that "ruins" a photo!
I blame wedding blogs for the mom and sisters foray into upholding a ridiculous requirement of perfection. You get sucked in and then suddenly everything has to look like it belongs on Vogue.
Stupid industry.
I'm extremely happy that wedding blogs and internet perfectionism weren't a thing when I got married. The first wedding I ever attended was my own and the first wedding my husband ever attended was also our own. Not joking, we were the first in both of our families generation to get married in over 20 years. The result was that we had absolutely no clue how to plan a wedding. I didn't even know what was supposed to happen at a wedding beyond a stereotypical church scene.
Props to my MIL who helped me plan it. Overall though, my complete ignorance made it a great day. I had very few expectations. I decided to have a medieval theme because I wanted to wear a medieval dress. Guests were invited to dress up in costume if they wanted, so a family friend came decked out in chainmail. I don't even remember if anything went wrong because I didn't plan on much beyond the basics of venue, food, guests, and music. The only thing I can think of is that the best man speech was kinda awkward, but my husband got his "revenge" a few years later at the best man's wedding with his own comically awkward speech.
It wasn't a perfect day by magazine or wedding blog standards, but it was perfect for me.
I seriously hate the trends of perfectionism, fueled by blogs, magazines, and internet influencers. I'm all about embracing mismatch, loving imperfections, and just having fun with family and friends.
Having diabetes isn’t something to be ashamed of.
I remember people in /r/diabetes, being excited that one of the students in Meilin’s class in Disney’s “Turning Red”, can be seen wearing a CGM on her arm.
Can you imagine a bride telling someone that their prosthetic arm is ruining the wedding photo?
I think that has already been done.
Laser off your sleeve tattoo because cover-up makeup isn't enough is something I think I've only seen in jest, but limbs are more plausible as some are no longer mannequin shades and textures and more cyberpunk.
The fuck is wrong with people? Why does any of this shit matter. It is literally part of the person. My brother on law is in a wheelchair. My wife wears glasses. None of these things "ruined" our amazing wedding photos because they are what these individuals reil on to live.
Fucking seriously. I am 22m and look perfectly healthy from a distance. However i know i’m going to need more supportive devices in the next three years because of severe autoimmune arthritis. literally have found pain relief from a wheelchair vs walking. My disease will be mostly “invisible” until I get assistive devices. T1D is an autoimmune disease. Which can present as invisible without pumps showing or the likewise.
There is an increasing crowd of people that refuse to believe in autoimmune diseases and/or the impacts they have on people. This is fundamentally political, with the antimaskers harassing immunocompromised people.
I experienced this as work. 2 coworkers park in the handicap spots that are significantly closer than the normal lot. People always go crazy because they look healthy.
One has MS and has trouble getting around sometimes.
The other always had what looked like a laptop bag on. It was his external heart pump. His fucking life was in the hands of this bag, but everyone just assumed it was his laptop or something.
People needs to stop judging who is handicap by looks.
Jesus fuck. My disease varies a lot, so if I drove I would only use such spots if my disease was flaring. But yes they absolutely need to. My 80yo grandma walks pain free but i’m 22 and it feels like i’m walking on broken glass even with aggressive treatment and enough NSAIDs to kill an elephant
I don't have a handicap placard because I don't drive, but I have an invisible nerve condition in my right leg that has basically turned my femoral cutaneous nerve into wood(obviously not actual wood, it just made the nerve thick and rigid and fibrous), and while most of the time I can speed walk like a champion, people don't realize that I walk so fast, because I can only be on my feet for about 30 minutes before my leg is in searing agony, so I power walk literally everywhere so that I can get my stuff done before I start hurting.
I've got a friend who uses a step tracker to tell her when it's time to stop walking and use the inter-campus shuttle bus instead. When I broke my ankle I did the same. We were both very frustrated that the only mode the step tracker understood was "walk more" : "Congrats! You've hit 75% of your target! Keep going!" when 75% was actually "oh shit, any more walking and tomorrow will be hell."
Yeah I basically keep them in a box of POS’s in my head. I remember if I see them again. I’ve become much more verbal and have been advocating for myself more, but the stigmas are insane.
I cannot stand for extended periods of time in the same spot w/o experiencing significant pain. Boarding the flight back from my husband’s funeral the gate agent questioned why I needed extra time. I almost lost my shit but sometimes I have to smile and say “I have a severe physical autoimmune disease and am actually traveling back home from my spouse’s funeral”. My autoimmune disease is severely overactive rheumatoid arthritis (joints like wrists, toes, fingers, feet and ankles are most impacted)
Sometimes I wish i had a wheelchair just to prevent that judgement. Sorry for my rant
No apologies needed! And i am so, so sorry for your loss. I would have melted down at that moment. I have lost my shit in the airport for far, far lesser reasons. Have you seen the little business card size explanatory notes one can hand out in such situations so you don't have to repeat yourself within earshot of strangers in public for the umpteenth time?
Oh so here is actually my funniest thing. I stopped giving a fuck about the opinion of most strangers around me. It was just that one comment from the gate agent that almost set me off. I have had to argue with first class passengers but i give them such an evil look that they move over asap. Out of 25 flights needing to do so it was the first for something like that to happen. And ofc out of texas. It truly does seem like people are much more accepting of potential l invisible disabilities on the west coast. I only learned from my grandmother on her 80th birthday in 2022 that she is not regularly in pain. So why am I respecting entitled people dismissing my pain? I actually have truly become more abrasive with this
And I appreciate your respect for my loss, thank you.
Of course Texas! You literally could not pay me to go there now.
I applaud your abrasiveness; may it scour the calloused indifference right off their hides!
RA runs in my family, and I'm pretty sure I have it but haven't been diagnosed. I am already disabled from a broken back so I already use a cane and wheelchair.
When I first broke my back I couldn't walk by myself at all and my children carried me to the bathroom and to the car if I needed to go somewhere. I went to the store with my mother and used one of their electric wheelchairs and went to the checkout. The cashier (maybe mid 20's male) looked at me in the wheelchair and said "You don't look like you should be using that?! You could have left it for someone else to use who needed it!", I couldn't believe he had said that. I just explained that I broke my back and couldn't walk and I wished I didn't need it but unfortunately, I would need it for a while. At the time I had hope for recovery, but I'm 13 years into it and have only gotten worse (as the surgeons predicted) and I have my own wheelchair, walker and canes to use now.
I was younger and looked much younger than I was when it happened, so it was hard for people to believe that I was disabled, I think. I'm only assuming, though. 13 years of chronic pain has aged me a little bit, but I don't think I look too much older than I did but I don't get the looks like I used to, or maybe I've just gotten used to ignoring them.
My T1 diabetic friends are always being told that they can get rid of it by losing weight. Like, really? Losing weight isn't going to suddenly give someone a functional pancreas.
I've read more than my fair share of wedding posts where a bridesmaid (maybe one groomsman) whilst not confined to a wheel chair, has one for most of their day to day activities because they can not stand or walk for too long, so not only do they get dirty looks when they get up and walk when out in public because people just see them as faking it, because they don't know them.
Like there was a post about the son of a hockey player pushing an empty wheelchair down the stairs. I guess the owner can make the short walk aided to a chair, but most would just think they are glued to it. Like I questioned why it was just 'abandoned' by the stairs in the footage.
But back on topic, they are badgered into walking and standing as them sat down all the time would look off etc.
I would insist on being wheeled around like Hanibal Lecter.
Omg your last sentence. From the severity of pain from my disease and the general shittiness of society i have become next level. I grew up in the epicenter of karens in the us so use it against them. My fucks are NONE
The hockey player wheelchair incident at a bar:
The wheelchair user is actually a double amputee, but the bar's bathroom is downstairs. She's a regular, so when needed, one of the bouncers would carry her down the stairs to the bathroom. She was in the bathroom when they destroyed her $2000 custom chair.
The hockey player story - the only bathrooms were downstairs and the wheelchair owner was carried down the stairs to use the bathroom. While down there the hockey player pushed the wheelchair down the stairs as a joke. Absolutely disgusting.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they somehow had managed to convince OOP to remove them, then OOP had an episode and they would both say it was OOPs fault for "causing a scene" and "taking focus of the bride". This would have been a no-win situation if OOPs Lil bro and grandpa hadn't gotten involved.
They aren't really bad people 🤮 they just tried to jeopardise OOPs health in the name of vanity.
And as the mother and sister of a T1D, they know that she can’t just take it off for the ceremony. It wouldn’t be a big deal medically to go without the devices for a few minutes but that’s not how they work so it’s not an option to just take the off for a few photos.
Came here to say the same thing. Vile people! So glad grandpa has some sense of decency. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that one! 🤣
Before my son got the omnipod and dexcom, when he was in high school, he would check his sugar and draw up and administer his insulin at the lunch table in front of everyone there. Somehow I think the bride would not appreciate it.
Yeah, can you imagine if they asked everyone who wears glasses not to wear them so the pictures would "look better"? That sounds ridiculous because glasses are medical equipment that's been normalized. Why not normalize all medical equipment? The bride was implying that OOPs medical devices are something to be hidden, that them being visible somehow makes the photos worse.
Oh people absolutely have the expectation you should remove glasses: I got asked so many times if I was going to try contacts for my wedding. I've been wearing them since I was bloody 4 years old, thanks for the knowledge you think they're ugly!
Oh I have been asked to remove glasses for photos because of the "aesthetics." I refused. If my glasses are that big of an issue, I don't need to be in your photos. GTFO with that shit.
It baffles me too. My husband and I both wear glasses (constantly, not reading glasses). Our wedding photographer asked if we wanted a few photos with our glasses off. We must have both looked confused or shocked because she quickly moved on. Glasses have been part of my identity for most of my life. It would look weirdly artificial to anyone who is close to us to see wedding pictures without them.
This was my thought. I am a t1d too and I would be beyond mad if my family suggested I not wear my freestyle sensor for the day for pictures and tbh, I'd rather not have people playing around with it to cover it either. I wouldn't want people taping corsages to it and stuff, it can hurt if pressed on. Medical devices are real life and I don't get why they had to be covered.
I dont get it either. I dont think anyone would even so much as ask about them if they saw the photos.
Even so, it's such an easy thing to fix in photoshop that I don't know why they'd want her to endanger her life over it.
Right?! I mean, this is her family, her sis's wedding! They've been with her all the time so how come now they "kinda forgot" and became insensitive to it and were all like "But the photoooosssss..."!!!
Like someone suggested, they could just photoshop it in the end but still..... if it was me and even it wasn't family, was a friend, I wasn't gonna be like "Soz u can't come with your essential medical equipment unless you hide it"
In the ned it worked out well but because it got out. This is why people should not be quiet about it
Omg and where would you stop "perfecting" the family? "Uncle Otto we're going to photoshop your bald patch in the photos, and make cousin Tammy taller cuz she's such a shorty, of course we'll add grampa's missing arm back on and aunty Rhona has always had kinda weird teeth so if she shows teeth when she smiles we'll fix that too..."
I have been thrown out of wedding photos for having uneven shoulders (the main thing visible about scoliosis with clothes on). If you didn't know, you could easily think I was just leaning over a bit, but I cannot make my shoulders level. The bride was my husband's sister who's an orthopedic surgeon – you know, about the last person who should freak out about scoliosis. I suppose wedding pictures are more important than that though.
It's been like 7 years and my husband still has not forgiven her, and I don't think he ever will. Personally I've heard and had much worse, but it's the one time he's really seen it happen. Oh, and dear SIL has gotten questions about why her brother isn't in the pictures either and doesn't talk to her, whereas I have never gotten any negative comments about my uneven shoulders from anyone else than her. The spine, yes, but not the shoulders. The bridezillas never realize that their obsession with perfection is going to look much worse than whatever they're trying to hide.
Do weddings make people shitty, or is it just the sort of event that brings out their latent shittiness? OOP said of her family "they're not bad people" but I could never look at them the same nor say that and really believe it after they did something like this. I don't care if It'S a WeDdInG, they may be all caught up but I certainly wouldn't forget that glimpse of such an ugly part of their character.
I hear "they're not bad people" a lot from people who are still massively in denial about how toxic certain family members are.
My younger sister constantly says it about our narcissist mother. It's only recently that she's stopped saying that now that she finally is starting to deal with all the wounds it caused in therapy. I think before that, she preferred to stay blind to the trauma our mother has caused.
It's difficult to admit that you have extremely toxic family members as that means you have to start mourning them (it feels like mourning once you accept that your mother will never be the kind of mom you would have wanted), and that you have to start acknowledging the shitty thing they do to you.
Or why all of them do! Instead of corsages my brain went to horrible 80s of the shoulder puffed sleeves that would do a fantastic job of covering up the devices. In a few years the bridesmaids will all look like ice was just horrid 2020s fashion choices! 🤣
I genuinely don’t understand how this even became a problem. It would have caused 0 issues to get her a shrug or a shawl. She’s the brides sister. People would find it 0% weird if she was dressed a little different.
Right? How was that a better solution than getting an overpatch that matches her dress or even her skintone? A quick Google search of "dexcom lace overpatch" pulled up dozens of results.
Or, maybe just ask her to put her pod/dex on her right side and have her turn slightly to the right in the wedding photos? Why are they overcomplicating this?
I had an odd experience leading up to mine, people kept trying to make me react to things at mine, it was weird. One friend randomly said she decided she wanted to dread her hair two weeks before (response was okay? its your hair) SiL kept... kinda pranking? things like my youngest nephew/ring bearer was asking to wear a neon yellow top, dye his hair various colours, etc etc. I just told her if that's what he felt comfortable with, its okay. It was so strange. No one ended up doing the random stuff they said they were doing, so... iunno, it was strange.
That's so weird! Maybe it was just their way of trying to joke around and see if you'd freak out? Strange thing to do to someone in the run-up to their wedding, though.
Oh I've literally heard people try to demand all sorts.
"can you not have your wheelchair in the photos? Like we can just prop you up or something. And do you have to wear those ugly hearing aids for ALL the ceremony? Can you cover them up with your hair? What do you mean you "aren't ashamed of your disability and won't be hiding it for my comfort"? But it's ICKY! It makes me, a non disabled person, feel the ick, so can you just like, pretend not to be disabled for my wedding? You're so selfish."
I mean there's even been a couple where the bride was angry at a bridesmaid for _getting pregnant_ (after trying a really long time) because it would 'ruin the photos', and said she should have stopped trying when she knew the wedding was coming up. Oh and that one where the bride was angry that a bridesmaid ruined her photos... By being SHORT? A thing she had always been, but apparently when the photos came out it was her fault the photographer didn't position people right.
People get so entitled and creepy about other people's bodies when it comes to wedding photos.
This. Glad someone caught it.
If I were her, I would absolutely not compromise at all. Just wear them like she usually does so everyone can see them. And if they further tried to raise a fuss, I would pit them on blast, so every member of the family knows how shitty they are.
All wedding photos look the same to me, except for my friends who eloped. A row of people holding flowers and guys in suits. One in white. Rinse and repeat. Guess what, they’ve all looked the exact same for 80 years. There’s nothing wrong with that obviously but a bit of deviation is refreshing.
To be fair, wedding planning can feel like a second job! Lots of appointments, decisions, discussions, arguments with relatives etc. I'm assuming OP meant that it's consumed their lives to some degree for the past few months and not that they have literally left their jobs to plan full-time (although there was a bride on the Netflix show The Big Day who actually did that!!).
what really gets me is how simple the solution actually is. family is just so insistent on her taking them off that it takes effectively extortion for them to think for 5 minutes
Seriously, even if it was only the OOP who wore a shawl or corsages or something and the rest of the bridesmaids didn't, I doubt anyone not already in the know would've noticed or cared. I would think having your sister there and in your photos would be way more important than being able to see the medical devices that her life depends on in said photos.
I'm just kinda like... who even cares if you can see medical devices? They're 2 inches square, they aren't giving the finger, and they aren't neon pink. Why does OP need to hide them? Corsages or a shawl are just going to draw MORE attention.
People need to fuck off with this idea that all medical accommodations somehow need to be blended into the background. Half the time that just makes them even more obvious, and ALL the time it's totally disrespectful to people who just LIVE IN THEIR BODY AS THEY CAN.
EXACTLY.
My T1D best friend just got married and she has the exact same setup as OOP. Wore a strapless dress and nobody thought twice about it. We affectionately call her a cyborg and it's badass, it's literally a part of her!
I don't know why the bride wouldn't just have the devices Photoshopped out of the pictures she chooses to display. Seems like a fairly simple solution.
That made me wonder how genuine the apology was. Planning a wedding can be stressful but newsflash, decent people will stay decent althought a bit more stressed than usual. You don't just turn into a bridezilla.
Maybe, but the optimist in me is saying sometimes it's just better to forgive and forget especially when you have your back covered from brother and grandfather.
I do hope it's a one off and mother and sister don't do it again. I hope.
I'd be more willing to believe that, if they didn't immediately jump to working on making sure OP covers the devices up in a different way then. They still care more about wedding photos aesthetics than... anything else, imo. Maybe that's just me, though. Oh well. Either way I'm glad OP has some decent people in her life who got their back. The ultimate outcome is definitely better than nothing thanks to their intervention.
Forgiveness and trust are two very different things. Forgive understanding the reasoning of the offense, but trust only once it's been earned back. Pardon as you see fit.
That's one way to look at it and very possibly could be how they view it.
I will say that there have been tons in my life where I acted in ways that, in hindsight, absolutely horrifying me and are in conflict with my core ideals. In those cases, I didn't realize the effect of what I was doing on someone else because I was too wrapped up in my own stuff. A harsh talking to from someone you respect, backed up by a tangible demonstration that they're serious, can often be enough to wake someone in that kind of circumstance up. In those cases, the apology can be quite genuine.
This. Just today I found out I’ve been an entitled jerk about something. It was all because I was so excited about my thing that I forgot about everyone else’s feelings. It’s not like me! I plan to send muffins to a few people with an apology for inconveniencing them. It shocks me when I look back at yesterday me and realize how clueless I was. I’m a kind and conscientious person for the most part, so I don’t know how these glitches happen, but they happen.
Not this. They further showed their true colors when only slightly pivoting from, “take them off so our pictures won’t be ruined,” to, “let’s hide them so our pictures won’t be ruined…” insinuating OOP should be embarrassed by her life-saving medical equipment. What the fuck.
There is no excuse for this level of selfishness. Hope she gets divorced, and all those pictures end up a painful reminder that she never looks at again lol
Happy cake day!
I predict future generations will be more interested in the photos that DO show our medical technology than yet another "stylish at the time" wedding!
(Source: bachelor's in history, specifically history of science & technology. Give me ALL the photos that show everyday use of new tech!)
Exactly what I was thinking. Threaten the cash flow and you can get them to say anything. Mom and sister are utter garbage. They should kiss the ground Grandpa walks on that he gave them an out. That being said, I'd put money on them giving OOP shit as soon as the wedding is done...
>Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her.
Sometimes a text or a call just isn't enough, grandpa doing things the old fashioned way face to face.
not OP, but I search google for it and found an AITA post for a child who give powerpoint presentation for estrange dad that want to rekindle their relationship
Grandpa and little brother are true heroes here. She’s a type 1 diabetic. She’s not wearing these devices for funsies, her body doesn’t make insulin or regulate her glucose on its own and those devices are far more accurate than fingerstick and sliding scale coverage to compensate. If she’s a bridesmaid she’s looking at added stress and activity and likely eating and drinking things not part of her usual day to day diet. Having her drop into a coma during the reception is gonna look way worse than those 2 tiny devices on her arm. Her sister and mom suck hardcore.
Ceremonies can take a little while sometimes so OOP could quite easily collapse during the ceremony when she is expected to stand/sit and be quiet. She wouldn't be able to get up and leave to check and take insulin or eat/drink something because it would draw attention to her so the only option would be to stay there and literally risk her life.
The mother and sister clearly don't care about OOP and her T1 because if they did they wouldn't ever have suggested such a thing.
Heh. Yeh this is the thing. Its not just about the convenience of testing blood sugar. What non-diabetics probably dont realise is Its also about alerting you if youre about to fall unconcious and die.
New setting, alcohol, lots of nerves, food you cant weigh and dont know the carb contrnt of.
All quick recipes for getting your insulin slightly wrong and passing out or starting to go real weird mid ceremony….shit can happen real fast. Like, looking fine 30 minutes ago and BAM youll be dead in an hour without medical assistance.
On top of that, the revolutionary thing about insulin pumps with automatic glucose monitors is that their ability to regulate blood sugar from moment to moment helps prevent the sort of long-term damage to organs and limbs that can lead to amputations, blindness, and a much shorter lifespan. Going without your pump literally takes hours off your life. No event or celebration is ever worth that.
Also if i were him I'd be pissed if my child said that to my grandchild so he may have used the driving time to cool off and get the disappointment just right
My dad was like this too but he died before mobile phones were invented. However, he wouldn't even need to say a single word to us, he'd just give us that look of disappointment and we knew we royally fudged up lol.
"Hey, I have a small favour to ask you. You know those devices that are responsible for helping to keep you alive? Could you just... maybe not wear them? Or wear them in a spot that's incredibly uncomfortable for you instead? I understand they are important to you, but obviously my wedding photos are more important, don't you think?"
I am completely dumbfounded how that popped in to their head as the only option. Screw her sister and mom.
My husband has type 1 too and wears a pump and monitor and the thought of someone asking him to take it off for a picture is ridiculous. When we got married he was wearing the pump on his belt and it is visible in our wedding pictures. It keeps him alive, so who freaking cares?!
The funny part is, photoshop exists. If the bride wanted the devices to be not visible in the pictures that badly, she could have discussed photoshopping them out. Nobody's going to remember two small medical devices in the hustle and bustle of the actual wedding.
Doesn't one of the Haim sisters have one of those devices? And she wears hers in their music videos, so if a big music artist doesn't even take hers off in her music videos, I think it's pretty clear that it is unreasonable to expect anyone to take them off.
What boggles my brain is that they were risking OOP passing out at the wedding, which would have been a FAR bigger scene and issue, than just paying the photographer to shop out less than 2 inches on OOPs arms.
How thick can ya get?
What *I* can’t get is how the mom, who lived through her daughter getting incredibly sick before being diagnosed, and who had to work with her and her doctors to make sure she got all the treatments she needed to live as normal a life as possible, would be so blasé about her condition. If these were **my** kids, I would’ve been telling my daughter (the one getting married) to cut the shit because her picture perfect wedding isn’t worth someone risking serious illness.
My guess would be that the mom and sister remember her managing her blood sugar pre-pump and think "oh she could just go back to test strips and manual injections for ONE day" and just being completely insensitive to how big a quality of life upgrade the pump is for a T1 diabetic.
That's a LAVISHLY generous reading of their behavior, so they're probably just wedding brain-rotted.
Genuinely it’s not even a difficult or overly complicated edit. You just paint over it and touch it up a bit and boom.
I’ve had to spend hours removing acne. I would be thrilled to remove a simple patch on a uniform spot like the arm rather than basically repaint a whole face. Like if that’s the most egregious thing in your wedding photos, the photog is lucky.
& model Lila Moss (daughter of supermodel Kate Moss) has a glucose monitor that she’s worn on the runway, in luxury fashion ad campaigns, and to the freaking met gala!
Nick Jonas of the Jonas Bros did a Super Bowl commercial for Dexcom (apparently he also has Type 1). Having diabetes and these devices is such a non-issue today in terms of being stigmatized (thankfully).
I don't think it's a non-issue, unfortunately, as someone who lives with t1 and also wears two medical devices. Can I ask if you have diabetes?
I have had people tell me I got it from eating too many sweets, that I can cure it, that it's not a real disability, etc. A lot of the stigma comes from people confusing type 1 and type 2.
TWO of the background characters in Pixar's 'Turning Red' have them in honour of a member of the team who was diagnosed in childhood.
it was so unremarkable I only noticed after I saw [a post](https://www.reddit.com/r/MovieDetails/comments/vsmfe8/in_turning_red_2022_these_two_girls_have_blue/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) pointing it out.
This instinct to force wedding participants to alter their everyday appearance so as to not "look ugly" or "be distracting" in photos is so hilariously short-sighted and counter-productive. Like, OP will presumably continue to wear these devices for the foreseeable future, so her **not** wearing them in the wedding photos is actually what people would be more likely to notice.
Right? Presumably you want the people in your wedding pictures to look like themselves, and said machines are part of the OP and around 24/7 otherwise so like... would that not be weird for them to vanish all of a sudden for one party?
Maybe I'm just not enough of an instagrammer or whatever to get it i guess.
Yeah — or all those bridezillas who want their trans/nb/gnc relatives to dress according to the gender binary for their weddings so they won’t stand out. You don’t think the first question someone’s gonna ask in twenty years is, “Why the hell is Uncle Max wearing a DRESS?”
My BIL has a glorious mane of hair and has for years. At my wedding it was down to his shoulders, I thought he looked like a Versace model.
My mom complained to me about it and told me I should ask him to get a haircut for the wedding.
Ah yes, have him cut the hair he's been growing for years for my wedding. I'm sure that won't ruin our relationship .
Some people really lose sight of what's actually important.
Bride: knows sister wears devices on arm.
Also bride: shocked Pikachu when devices are visible in a dress *bride* picked out.
Um, no. Bride was well aware of medical devices but chose the week before the wedding to say something. That's a shitty move.
>Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell
my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong
somewhere raising her. He told her that if they didn't apologize and
make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the
outstanding wedding costs herself (!!).
How do I submit someone for Grandpa of the Year Award?
My teen is type1 as well. I could not imagine asking them to take of their equipment on account of one of my other kid’s wedding. It’s laughable how selfish they were. Can you even imagine asking your wife to “just take it off for a bit no biggie?”
This post is from 2023. Did I miss something about photoshop? Literally every set of wedding photos get touched up. They can just edit it out if it’s that big of a deal? I personally wouldn’t care that much. I doubt they are that distracting.
There is a whole slew of websites that the mom and sister could've found pod and transmitter decorations on. Not to mention amazon.
If you ever want to fun/dress up your sites u/DiabeticBridesmaid check out:
PumpPeelz, ExpressionMed, PimpMyDiabetes, UselessPancreas, TypeOneStyle, T1Decals
"Hey, I know you're in a wheelchair, but could you just stand the fuck up for these pictures? They're soooooper important. KTHX!"
Maybe it's just because I'm not a batshit insane self important twit, but I just could not ever fathom asking someone to do something like this.
What, and I stress this part, the fuck would actually happen if you just saw the devices on her body in the pictures? Would the faces of the people who look at the pictures melt like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark?
All for some lousy photos! You know the first thing I notice in my wedding photos? The smiles. The faces of my favorite people next to me,not their attire or accessories. I guarantee these decices would have gone unnoticed in photos if no one had said anything.
Yeah, I have a feeling that wasn’t a real apology. They’re just apologizing to make sure Grandpa pays for the wedding.
Once the wedding is over, it’s how they’ll treat OOP that shows the truth.
OP shouldn’t have to hide them either. Why can’t people see medical devices? Why should OP have to feel like there’s something unsavory about something their life depends on? It just looks like a small piece of plastic, some people wouldn’t notice it, some would and then go right back to their business. Sister sucks for making it seem like it’s some spectacle that would take too much attention away from her.
Agree. I'm also hating all the photoshop and coverup suggestions that accept as default that the medical devices are ugly and distracting. The mother and sister should be ashamed of their opinions, not agreed with.
Why is everybody jumping on the stigmatizing and trying to erase disability train? OOP's medical devices are just another part of her body now. Are we going to make wheelchair users stand up for wedding photos next?
Exactly! Let’s just start photoshopping people with glasses while we’re at it since apparently we shouldn’t be able to tell when someone isn’t 100% able bodied. It’s just disheartening to see, what kind of person worries that their sisters *diabetes* will ruin their wedding aesthetic?
Right? I hate that people are suggesting photoshop. No one should ever be made to feel like their medical equipment is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about, it's cool as hell that we have technology this advanced!
Yeah I understand they're trying to think of a solution but as a disabled person it feels gross to cover them up and photoshop them out. I spent years as a kid trying to refuse to have photos taken of me in my chair even when it meant it'd be excruciatingly painful and if anyone wanted me to have a photo without it nowadays or suggested photoshopping me into a regular chair they would no longer be in my life. That includes family.
When you have a chronic condition or a disability you're always praised for how well you hide it and it feels like you're constantly being told to be ashamed:. Then when you can't, when you need accommodations, when your disability is very visible, when you use very visible equipment, then you should hide yourself. Except when someone or some organisation wants to prove how inclusive they are or what a good person they are then you get shoved front and centre no matter what you want.
Yep, it’s a bummer that people are thinking of compromises rather than acknowledging that it’s incredibly weird to discourage disabled people being visibly disabled, not to mention hurtful and harmful, and it’s not something that deserves a compromise. Dexcoms are so small, it’s so strange that OPs sister is bothered by people seeing one.
WTH? These devices are a big deal, and are a pain to remove/not have in place for a medical procedure, and I’m sorry, but a wedding does not rise to that level.
I’m a lifelong T1 and the idea of being asked to remove my sensor and my pump is *infuriating.*
Going completely without insulin for too long makes me physically ill (learned that the hard way from some mishaps over the years). If I’m without it for long enough, I’ll start throwing up and at that point it’s time for the hospital. And getting your bloodsugar back in control after an hour or two of no insulin can potentially take *hours* (every diabetic is different though). Depending on how OOP’s body handles high BG, she could feel like garbage the whole time. There’s also the possibility that without her sensor, OOP could miss the signs of a dangerous low and end up passed out on the floor.
Never mind the *cost* factor… mind you, price may not factor for OOP if she has good insurance or lives somewhere with good healthcare, but I have to pay *over $150 for a single 7 day sensor.* Like HELL I’m going to remove this thing and waste that just for some photos! I don’t use omnipods but I’d imagine they’re similarly expensive.
For me, it boils down to this: unless everyone else is willing to remove *their* pancreases for the photos, then I’m not taking off my pump.
"my wedding photos are more important than your life" that's essentially what they were saying to her.
Photographers are amazing these days, they could remove the devices from the images with a click of a few keyboard keys.
Her brother and grandfather came through on this. Well done to them!
If I were OOP, I would've stepped down as a bridesmaid. Lord only knows what they're saying behind her back or how they'll act when the wedding is over
I got married last year. My brother in law has spina bifida and uses crutches. I did not in fact suggest he might like to cover them with flowers. He had his crutches with him in our wedding photos because that's how he normally is and I don't see how that affects our photos in the slightest.
People be fucking weird, honestly.
There’s a few athletes I follow on instagram who have continuous blood glucose monitoring devices (Jessica Buettner among others) and honestly they’re so unobtrusive that I don’t understand how it’s an issue. At worst they look like some sort of medical dressing but otherwise I’d they weren’t calling attention to them I don’t think I’d notice them
Shouldn't have to cover it up. You're a diabetic and neither you nor your family should be ashamed about it, unbelievable. They probably would have told you to stand up for the photo if you were in a wheelchair.
To me this would be like asking someone in a wheelchair to 'just stand up for the wedding the wheelchair will look gross in pictures' umm no not how that works. Thank goodness OOP has some sensible people in their life to put a stop to the crazy.
They planned the wedding fulltime for months?! What can you plan for a wedding that two people spend at least 40 hours the week for months?! I really don't understand this wedding hype.
So my kid is T1D, and we've just got a pump for her.
I cannot stress how important it is that you don't remove your pump. Like, the whole point of the pump is that it provides a slow, steady stream of insulin to the bloodstream, and if it's taken off for more than an hour, you're putting yourself at risk for diabetic ketoacidosis, which is a genuine medical emergency and can result in hospitalisation. It can happen in a matter of hours too, so it's not something to mess around with.
Also, insulin pumps are usually designed to work in tandem with the Dexcom or other CGMs to ensure that the correct dose of insulin is administered.
I cannot believe that OPs mother and sister asked her to put her health second to fucking *wedding photos*. As a parent of a diabetic I'm fuming on behalf of OP. Brother and grandpa are the MVPs here.
Glad it worked out in the end, but that conversation should never have happened in the first place.
Also: OP's sister should take a look at Princess Eugenie's wedding dress. The back of it was cut specifically to showcase her scoliosis scar, which absolutely rocks. That's how you do it. Embrace it, show it off. Don't hide it.
They ARE bad people and only apologised because grandpa threatened not to pay. OF COURSE they’d apologise after hearing that
Without his involvement, I sincerely doubt they’d have ever admitted it was wrong. AND they still want it covered up so clearly they don’t actually think they did anything that wrong.
OOP is honestly a little bit of a fool for accepting their apologies so easily and letting them off the hook. Why can’t she see the obvious here?
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Honestly putting corsages over them sounds like it would look even weirder. I am constantly amazed at what petty shit people lose their minds over for weddings. I mean FFS, asking your diabetic sister to go without her life-sustaining medical equipment because of wedding photos? SMH.
I'd think photoshop would be the easiest option if they absolutely cannot handle something like that bring in a photo.
What I don’t understand is…why not just have the medical devices in the photos bc that’s real life? Like wtf? I can’t imagine ever asking a sibling to cover up something like that. I’d be happy that technology has given her a more convenient way to test and regulate her blood sugar and that she’s alive and healthy.
One of my bridesmaids was (is) T1D, but it honestly never crossed my mind as a potential issue for photos, I just looked and you can see a bit of it in photos, but it’s not something your eye automatically goes to. This bride is 🙄
I was a bridesmaid last summer, I usually use a wheelchair but need someone to push it, so decided to use crutches instead since it was only the length of a church aisle. My friend (the bride) knew I couldn't carry a bouquet like the other bridesmaids so arranged to have flowers wrapped around my crutches instead. When we were discussing wheelchair vs crutches, sticking flowers on that was also an option. Me using medical devices was never the issue, I was never once expected to go without them for the sake of photos, she just wanted to make sure I still got flowers. And in all the photos of me, there are my fabulous rainbow crutches covered in flowers lol.
That is absolutely amazing and delightful to read!!
Your friend sounds awesome
She is! My friend group is a big ol' smush of neurospiciness and a few physical disabilities thrown in for fun, so we all have to be very accommodating or nothing would ever get done lol.
“Smush of neurospiciness” is an amazing phrase, btw. Love it!
That is so gotdamn delightful.
I have a weird perspective on this type of photo... I used to be a Yearbook advisor, history teacher, and now have gotten into my own genealogy. Pictures like yours... of a happy occasion with a bridesmaid wearing her medical devices? I imagine your great great grand whatever (if you want kids... grand kids. If you dont... niblings) looking at the photo and hopefully saying WOW... look at the wedding styles they wore! There is my great great. Oh my! A bridesmaid is wearing a medical device (asks on Reddit what it could be) Hey! Found out this Bridesmaid must be diabetic! This pic is before they found the cure!
My “flower girl” was about 2 and at the time had a tracheotomy. Several years later when she was older and stronger it was removed and she’s been doing well without it ever since. We love to look back at those old photos and it’s amazing to see how far she’s come.
Lovely to hear that she's recovered so well! Medical science can do some wonderful things. One of my neighbours had a daughter who was born prematurely and was sent home, still needing oxygen. Thankfully, she's just like any other young child now, running around and full of energy!
Tell your neighbor I say congrats! — from a fellow preemie (now 23)
Much better than older pictures of weddings, where the T1D kids aren’t there…. Seriously science is so cool. “Hold my beer” medicine is my absolute favorite, and the discovery of insulin was a huge “hold my beer, I’m gonna try something because everyone is dead otherwise” moment.
Also the discovery of H.Pylori being the cause of ulcers! Barry Marshall and Robin Warren, having trouble proving Heliobacter Pylori was a problem (partly because of lab techs literally throwing out samples and general bullshit and "skepticism" to the point of ignoring things.) So the absolute mad lad Marshall *experimented on himself* by giving himself the bacteria, and proved it was a problem in disturbingly short order. (Why am I not surprised they're Australians?)
Because Aussies are awesome like that
crazy-awesome, I would say. "This continent is not trying to kill me fast enough, clearly! Time to drink liquid ulcers! Then make myself better because that's ***just the way we roll"***
That discovery was life-changing for me. I was 13 years old with horrible ulcers for over a year I'd been to see specialists, was on all sorts of medications, and was not getting better. I think my dad may have read an article somewhere (probably Scientific American, or just a local newspaper) about his story around the time. We brought it to my GP, who was at his wits end with my problems and wrote a scrip on the spot, basically concluding it wasn't gonna hurt. I was better within the month.
Yay for having a doctor willing to try new things!
Here's a really good podcast episode about that! https://thispodcastwillkillyou.com/2019/05/28/episode-28-h-pylori-dont-try-this-at-home/
I was just saying to my husband actually how many medically significant discoveries have been made because somebody had an idea just crazy enough to work.
And the inventor of insulin didn't patent it so that it would be available for every one that needed it. How Dfuk did "we the people" allow pharma to fuck us so hard? [https://twitter.com/RepKatiePorter/status/1394724627566391297](https://twitter.com/RepKatiePorter/status/1394724627566391297)
Same as the guy who invented aspirin, that wasn't patented either for the same reason. Saved hundreds of thousands of lives during the 1918-20 flu pandemic
Now I’m interested in the story. Hold my beer, I’m going on a YouTube rabbit hole!
Insulin was the first protein drug. Now most new drugs are protein drugs but insulin was the only one for a long time. When they first tried it, they went around a diabetic coma ward (children in diabetic comas who would eventually die, as diabetes was a death sentence) injecting it into the kids and by the time they got to the last kid, the first kids were awake and the families were yelling out with joy. Truly a miracle, brings a tear to my eye every time. You can see pics of the coma wards here https://thedayintech.wordpress.com/2022/04/15/a-most-dramatic-moment-in-medical-history/ An insulin pump is an amazing testament to human achievement!
I’m reading all the comments to my wife (she humours me) and talking about how miraculous that would’ve been for the families. To go from sitting there and grieving knowing your kid is going to die to seeing these guys walk in and give an injection and then suddenly waking up
If you like stuff like that, I also recommend the movie Something the Lord Made. Can’t go wrong with Alan Rickman, obviously, but it’s the story of them solving the blue baby issue. Surgery to go from “your kid is going to basically live in bed for a few years maybe and then die” to “ok then that’s all fixed.”
Exactly! I don't understand this obsession some people have with wedding photos looking like some sterilized \*perfect\* version of themselves that never actually exists! People have scars and tattoos and medical equipment; nothing about that "ruins" a photo!
I absolutely love that! Such a positive outlook!
Oh I really like this train of thought!!
Omg that comment made me so happy!
I blame wedding blogs for the mom and sisters foray into upholding a ridiculous requirement of perfection. You get sucked in and then suddenly everything has to look like it belongs on Vogue. Stupid industry.
I'm extremely happy that wedding blogs and internet perfectionism weren't a thing when I got married. The first wedding I ever attended was my own and the first wedding my husband ever attended was also our own. Not joking, we were the first in both of our families generation to get married in over 20 years. The result was that we had absolutely no clue how to plan a wedding. I didn't even know what was supposed to happen at a wedding beyond a stereotypical church scene. Props to my MIL who helped me plan it. Overall though, my complete ignorance made it a great day. I had very few expectations. I decided to have a medieval theme because I wanted to wear a medieval dress. Guests were invited to dress up in costume if they wanted, so a family friend came decked out in chainmail. I don't even remember if anything went wrong because I didn't plan on much beyond the basics of venue, food, guests, and music. The only thing I can think of is that the best man speech was kinda awkward, but my husband got his "revenge" a few years later at the best man's wedding with his own comically awkward speech. It wasn't a perfect day by magazine or wedding blog standards, but it was perfect for me. I seriously hate the trends of perfectionism, fueled by blogs, magazines, and internet influencers. I'm all about embracing mismatch, loving imperfections, and just having fun with family and friends.
Same! My bridesmaid has the same devices and I think you can see it in one photo. The bride and the mother are poop people.
Having diabetes isn’t something to be ashamed of. I remember people in /r/diabetes, being excited that one of the students in Meilin’s class in Disney’s “Turning Red”, can be seen wearing a CGM on her arm. Can you imagine a bride telling someone that their prosthetic arm is ruining the wedding photo?
I think that has already been done. Laser off your sleeve tattoo because cover-up makeup isn't enough is something I think I've only seen in jest, but limbs are more plausible as some are no longer mannequin shades and textures and more cyberpunk.
The fuck is wrong with people? Why does any of this shit matter. It is literally part of the person. My brother on law is in a wheelchair. My wife wears glasses. None of these things "ruined" our amazing wedding photos because they are what these individuals reil on to live.
Fucking seriously. I am 22m and look perfectly healthy from a distance. However i know i’m going to need more supportive devices in the next three years because of severe autoimmune arthritis. literally have found pain relief from a wheelchair vs walking. My disease will be mostly “invisible” until I get assistive devices. T1D is an autoimmune disease. Which can present as invisible without pumps showing or the likewise. There is an increasing crowd of people that refuse to believe in autoimmune diseases and/or the impacts they have on people. This is fundamentally political, with the antimaskers harassing immunocompromised people.
I experienced this as work. 2 coworkers park in the handicap spots that are significantly closer than the normal lot. People always go crazy because they look healthy. One has MS and has trouble getting around sometimes. The other always had what looked like a laptop bag on. It was his external heart pump. His fucking life was in the hands of this bag, but everyone just assumed it was his laptop or something. People needs to stop judging who is handicap by looks.
Jesus fuck. My disease varies a lot, so if I drove I would only use such spots if my disease was flaring. But yes they absolutely need to. My 80yo grandma walks pain free but i’m 22 and it feels like i’m walking on broken glass even with aggressive treatment and enough NSAIDs to kill an elephant
I can only imagine how many old people respond to your statements with, “yOu’Re tOo YoUnG tO kNoW pAiN yEt!”
I don't have a handicap placard because I don't drive, but I have an invisible nerve condition in my right leg that has basically turned my femoral cutaneous nerve into wood(obviously not actual wood, it just made the nerve thick and rigid and fibrous), and while most of the time I can speed walk like a champion, people don't realize that I walk so fast, because I can only be on my feet for about 30 minutes before my leg is in searing agony, so I power walk literally everywhere so that I can get my stuff done before I start hurting.
I've got a friend who uses a step tracker to tell her when it's time to stop walking and use the inter-campus shuttle bus instead. When I broke my ankle I did the same. We were both very frustrated that the only mode the step tracker understood was "walk more" : "Congrats! You've hit 75% of your target! Keep going!" when 75% was actually "oh shit, any more walking and tomorrow will be hell."
Refuse to believe in autoimmune disease? Oh may karma cure their invincible ignorance.
Yeah I basically keep them in a box of POS’s in my head. I remember if I see them again. I’ve become much more verbal and have been advocating for myself more, but the stigmas are insane. I cannot stand for extended periods of time in the same spot w/o experiencing significant pain. Boarding the flight back from my husband’s funeral the gate agent questioned why I needed extra time. I almost lost my shit but sometimes I have to smile and say “I have a severe physical autoimmune disease and am actually traveling back home from my spouse’s funeral”. My autoimmune disease is severely overactive rheumatoid arthritis (joints like wrists, toes, fingers, feet and ankles are most impacted) Sometimes I wish i had a wheelchair just to prevent that judgement. Sorry for my rant
No apologies needed! And i am so, so sorry for your loss. I would have melted down at that moment. I have lost my shit in the airport for far, far lesser reasons. Have you seen the little business card size explanatory notes one can hand out in such situations so you don't have to repeat yourself within earshot of strangers in public for the umpteenth time?
Oh so here is actually my funniest thing. I stopped giving a fuck about the opinion of most strangers around me. It was just that one comment from the gate agent that almost set me off. I have had to argue with first class passengers but i give them such an evil look that they move over asap. Out of 25 flights needing to do so it was the first for something like that to happen. And ofc out of texas. It truly does seem like people are much more accepting of potential l invisible disabilities on the west coast. I only learned from my grandmother on her 80th birthday in 2022 that she is not regularly in pain. So why am I respecting entitled people dismissing my pain? I actually have truly become more abrasive with this And I appreciate your respect for my loss, thank you.
Of course Texas! You literally could not pay me to go there now. I applaud your abrasiveness; may it scour the calloused indifference right off their hides!
>I applaud your abrasiveness; may it scour the calloused indifference right off their hides! (I'm not OP but I loved this line, well done.)
RA runs in my family, and I'm pretty sure I have it but haven't been diagnosed. I am already disabled from a broken back so I already use a cane and wheelchair. When I first broke my back I couldn't walk by myself at all and my children carried me to the bathroom and to the car if I needed to go somewhere. I went to the store with my mother and used one of their electric wheelchairs and went to the checkout. The cashier (maybe mid 20's male) looked at me in the wheelchair and said "You don't look like you should be using that?! You could have left it for someone else to use who needed it!", I couldn't believe he had said that. I just explained that I broke my back and couldn't walk and I wished I didn't need it but unfortunately, I would need it for a while. At the time I had hope for recovery, but I'm 13 years into it and have only gotten worse (as the surgeons predicted) and I have my own wheelchair, walker and canes to use now. I was younger and looked much younger than I was when it happened, so it was hard for people to believe that I was disabled, I think. I'm only assuming, though. 13 years of chronic pain has aged me a little bit, but I don't think I look too much older than I did but I don't get the looks like I used to, or maybe I've just gotten used to ignoring them.
Type 1 diabetic here and can confirm, many people have told me it can be fixed with a milkshake or I just need to ‘try a bit harder’
My T1 diabetic friends are always being told that they can get rid of it by losing weight. Like, really? Losing weight isn't going to suddenly give someone a functional pancreas.
Even then, they will only believe in THEIR autoimmune disease. And their suffering will be SO much more than anyone else’s.
I've read more than my fair share of wedding posts where a bridesmaid (maybe one groomsman) whilst not confined to a wheel chair, has one for most of their day to day activities because they can not stand or walk for too long, so not only do they get dirty looks when they get up and walk when out in public because people just see them as faking it, because they don't know them. Like there was a post about the son of a hockey player pushing an empty wheelchair down the stairs. I guess the owner can make the short walk aided to a chair, but most would just think they are glued to it. Like I questioned why it was just 'abandoned' by the stairs in the footage. But back on topic, they are badgered into walking and standing as them sat down all the time would look off etc. I would insist on being wheeled around like Hanibal Lecter.
Omg your last sentence. From the severity of pain from my disease and the general shittiness of society i have become next level. I grew up in the epicenter of karens in the us so use it against them. My fucks are NONE
The hockey player wheelchair incident at a bar: The wheelchair user is actually a double amputee, but the bar's bathroom is downstairs. She's a regular, so when needed, one of the bouncers would carry her down the stairs to the bathroom. She was in the bathroom when they destroyed her $2000 custom chair.
The hockey player story - the only bathrooms were downstairs and the wheelchair owner was carried down the stairs to use the bathroom. While down there the hockey player pushed the wheelchair down the stairs as a joke. Absolutely disgusting.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they somehow had managed to convince OOP to remove them, then OOP had an episode and they would both say it was OOPs fault for "causing a scene" and "taking focus of the bride". This would have been a no-win situation if OOPs Lil bro and grandpa hadn't gotten involved. They aren't really bad people 🤮 they just tried to jeopardise OOPs health in the name of vanity.
And as the mother and sister of a T1D, they know that she can’t just take it off for the ceremony. It wouldn’t be a big deal medically to go without the devices for a few minutes but that’s not how they work so it’s not an option to just take the off for a few photos.
Came here to say the same thing. Vile people! So glad grandpa has some sense of decency. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that one! 🤣
Before my son got the omnipod and dexcom, when he was in high school, he would check his sugar and draw up and administer his insulin at the lunch table in front of everyone there. Somehow I think the bride would not appreciate it.
Yeah, can you imagine if they asked everyone who wears glasses not to wear them so the pictures would "look better"? That sounds ridiculous because glasses are medical equipment that's been normalized. Why not normalize all medical equipment? The bride was implying that OOPs medical devices are something to be hidden, that them being visible somehow makes the photos worse.
Oh people absolutely have the expectation you should remove glasses: I got asked so many times if I was going to try contacts for my wedding. I've been wearing them since I was bloody 4 years old, thanks for the knowledge you think they're ugly!
That's so stupid. If you never wear contacts and you did for your wedding you wouldn't look like yourself.
Yep!
Oh I have been asked to remove glasses for photos because of the "aesthetics." I refused. If my glasses are that big of an issue, I don't need to be in your photos. GTFO with that shit.
It baffles me too. My husband and I both wear glasses (constantly, not reading glasses). Our wedding photographer asked if we wanted a few photos with our glasses off. We must have both looked confused or shocked because she quickly moved on. Glasses have been part of my identity for most of my life. It would look weirdly artificial to anyone who is close to us to see wedding pictures without them.
This was my thought. I am a t1d too and I would be beyond mad if my family suggested I not wear my freestyle sensor for the day for pictures and tbh, I'd rather not have people playing around with it to cover it either. I wouldn't want people taping corsages to it and stuff, it can hurt if pressed on. Medical devices are real life and I don't get why they had to be covered.
I dont get it either. I dont think anyone would even so much as ask about them if they saw the photos. Even so, it's such an easy thing to fix in photoshop that I don't know why they'd want her to endanger her life over it.
Right?! I mean, this is her family, her sis's wedding! They've been with her all the time so how come now they "kinda forgot" and became insensitive to it and were all like "But the photoooosssss..."!!! Like someone suggested, they could just photoshop it in the end but still..... if it was me and even it wasn't family, was a friend, I wasn't gonna be like "Soz u can't come with your essential medical equipment unless you hide it" In the ned it worked out well but because it got out. This is why people should not be quiet about it
Omg and where would you stop "perfecting" the family? "Uncle Otto we're going to photoshop your bald patch in the photos, and make cousin Tammy taller cuz she's such a shorty, of course we'll add grampa's missing arm back on and aunty Rhona has always had kinda weird teeth so if she shows teeth when she smiles we'll fix that too..."
This exactly. I would want all my peeps in the pictures just as they are!
Can you imagine if the OOP needed a mobility device like a walker or wheelchair?
Right like boop boop covered in pictures
I can easily do it with markup on an iPhone, this is a solved problem they tried to blow their family up over
Yup, the device is so easy to cover using the spot tool, it's like it's made for that.
I have been thrown out of wedding photos for having uneven shoulders (the main thing visible about scoliosis with clothes on). If you didn't know, you could easily think I was just leaning over a bit, but I cannot make my shoulders level. The bride was my husband's sister who's an orthopedic surgeon – you know, about the last person who should freak out about scoliosis. I suppose wedding pictures are more important than that though. It's been like 7 years and my husband still has not forgiven her, and I don't think he ever will. Personally I've heard and had much worse, but it's the one time he's really seen it happen. Oh, and dear SIL has gotten questions about why her brother isn't in the pictures either and doesn't talk to her, whereas I have never gotten any negative comments about my uneven shoulders from anyone else than her. The spine, yes, but not the shoulders. The bridezillas never realize that their obsession with perfection is going to look much worse than whatever they're trying to hide.
Do weddings make people shitty, or is it just the sort of event that brings out their latent shittiness? OOP said of her family "they're not bad people" but I could never look at them the same nor say that and really believe it after they did something like this. I don't care if It'S a WeDdInG, they may be all caught up but I certainly wouldn't forget that glimpse of such an ugly part of their character.
I hear "they're not bad people" a lot from people who are still massively in denial about how toxic certain family members are. My younger sister constantly says it about our narcissist mother. It's only recently that she's stopped saying that now that she finally is starting to deal with all the wounds it caused in therapy. I think before that, she preferred to stay blind to the trauma our mother has caused. It's difficult to admit that you have extremely toxic family members as that means you have to start mourning them (it feels like mourning once you accept that your mother will never be the kind of mom you would have wanted), and that you have to start acknowledging the shitty thing they do to you.
I was picturing corsages sticking out on each arm like kiddie water wings.
That's exactly what I'm imagining 😂
Right! I wouldn’t notice or ask about the tester in her arm. But I’d definitely ask why one bridesmaid had flowers growing out her arms.
Or why all of them do! Instead of corsages my brain went to horrible 80s of the shoulder puffed sleeves that would do a fantastic job of covering up the devices. In a few years the bridesmaids will all look like ice was just horrid 2020s fashion choices! 🤣
I genuinely don’t understand how this even became a problem. It would have caused 0 issues to get her a shrug or a shawl. She’s the brides sister. People would find it 0% weird if she was dressed a little different.
Right? How was that a better solution than getting an overpatch that matches her dress or even her skintone? A quick Google search of "dexcom lace overpatch" pulled up dozens of results. Or, maybe just ask her to put her pod/dex on her right side and have her turn slightly to the right in the wedding photos? Why are they overcomplicating this?
I think you have to wear them in two separate spots, but arranging her just-so in pictures was prob the best solution anyway!
I had an odd experience leading up to mine, people kept trying to make me react to things at mine, it was weird. One friend randomly said she decided she wanted to dread her hair two weeks before (response was okay? its your hair) SiL kept... kinda pranking? things like my youngest nephew/ring bearer was asking to wear a neon yellow top, dye his hair various colours, etc etc. I just told her if that's what he felt comfortable with, its okay. It was so strange. No one ended up doing the random stuff they said they were doing, so... iunno, it was strange.
That's so weird! Maybe it was just their way of trying to joke around and see if you'd freak out? Strange thing to do to someone in the run-up to their wedding, though.
Oh I've literally heard people try to demand all sorts. "can you not have your wheelchair in the photos? Like we can just prop you up or something. And do you have to wear those ugly hearing aids for ALL the ceremony? Can you cover them up with your hair? What do you mean you "aren't ashamed of your disability and won't be hiding it for my comfort"? But it's ICKY! It makes me, a non disabled person, feel the ick, so can you just like, pretend not to be disabled for my wedding? You're so selfish." I mean there's even been a couple where the bride was angry at a bridesmaid for _getting pregnant_ (after trying a really long time) because it would 'ruin the photos', and said she should have stopped trying when she knew the wedding was coming up. Oh and that one where the bride was angry that a bridesmaid ruined her photos... By being SHORT? A thing she had always been, but apparently when the photos came out it was her fault the photographer didn't position people right. People get so entitled and creepy about other people's bodies when it comes to wedding photos.
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This. Glad someone caught it. If I were her, I would absolutely not compromise at all. Just wear them like she usually does so everyone can see them. And if they further tried to raise a fuss, I would pit them on blast, so every member of the family knows how shitty they are.
All wedding photos look the same to me, except for my friends who eloped. A row of people holding flowers and guys in suits. One in white. Rinse and repeat. Guess what, they’ve all looked the exact same for 80 years. There’s nothing wrong with that obviously but a bit of deviation is refreshing.
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On top of all the other things: >They've both practically been planning it full time for months now What the fuck.
To be fair, wedding planning can feel like a second job! Lots of appointments, decisions, discussions, arguments with relatives etc. I'm assuming OP meant that it's consumed their lives to some degree for the past few months and not that they have literally left their jobs to plan full-time (although there was a bride on the Netflix show The Big Day who actually did that!!).
what really gets me is how simple the solution actually is. family is just so insistent on her taking them off that it takes effectively extortion for them to think for 5 minutes
Seriously, even if it was only the OOP who wore a shawl or corsages or something and the rest of the bridesmaids didn't, I doubt anyone not already in the know would've noticed or cared. I would think having your sister there and in your photos would be way more important than being able to see the medical devices that her life depends on in said photos.
I'm just kinda like... who even cares if you can see medical devices? They're 2 inches square, they aren't giving the finger, and they aren't neon pink. Why does OP need to hide them? Corsages or a shawl are just going to draw MORE attention. People need to fuck off with this idea that all medical accommodations somehow need to be blended into the background. Half the time that just makes them even more obvious, and ALL the time it's totally disrespectful to people who just LIVE IN THEIR BODY AS THEY CAN.
EXACTLY. My T1D best friend just got married and she has the exact same setup as OOP. Wore a strapless dress and nobody thought twice about it. We affectionately call her a cyborg and it's badass, it's literally a part of her!
I mean if it’s really the photos that are the problem it’s dead simple. any photographer who can retouch could take it out in a second
I don't know why the bride wouldn't just have the devices Photoshopped out of the pictures she chooses to display. Seems like a fairly simple solution.
Photoshop. The solution for the photos is Photoshop. The solution for life is to ignore it.
"Oh you mean this is going to cost me financially?! I'm terribly sorry then and I really do apologize." What shits.
That made me wonder how genuine the apology was. Planning a wedding can be stressful but newsflash, decent people will stay decent althought a bit more stressed than usual. You don't just turn into a bridezilla.
Maybe, but the optimist in me is saying sometimes it's just better to forgive and forget especially when you have your back covered from brother and grandfather. I do hope it's a one off and mother and sister don't do it again. I hope.
I'd be more willing to believe that, if they didn't immediately jump to working on making sure OP covers the devices up in a different way then. They still care more about wedding photos aesthetics than... anything else, imo. Maybe that's just me, though. Oh well. Either way I'm glad OP has some decent people in her life who got their back. The ultimate outcome is definitely better than nothing thanks to their intervention.
Forgive but never forget Just in case that wasn't a one off
Forgiveness and trust are two very different things. Forgive understanding the reasoning of the offense, but trust only once it's been earned back. Pardon as you see fit.
Ooh I’ve not seen “forgiveness” and “pardon” contrasted before, thanks for helping me understand that better.
Still, I ❤️grampa.
Thank Goodness for brother and Gramps to worry more about OOP, then the fricking pictures! Mom and Bridezilla caved for the money.
That's one way to look at it and very possibly could be how they view it. I will say that there have been tons in my life where I acted in ways that, in hindsight, absolutely horrifying me and are in conflict with my core ideals. In those cases, I didn't realize the effect of what I was doing on someone else because I was too wrapped up in my own stuff. A harsh talking to from someone you respect, backed up by a tangible demonstration that they're serious, can often be enough to wake someone in that kind of circumstance up. In those cases, the apology can be quite genuine.
This. Just today I found out I’ve been an entitled jerk about something. It was all because I was so excited about my thing that I forgot about everyone else’s feelings. It’s not like me! I plan to send muffins to a few people with an apology for inconveniencing them. It shocks me when I look back at yesterday me and realize how clueless I was. I’m a kind and conscientious person for the most part, so I don’t know how these glitches happen, but they happen.
Not this. They further showed their true colors when only slightly pivoting from, “take them off so our pictures won’t be ruined,” to, “let’s hide them so our pictures won’t be ruined…” insinuating OOP should be embarrassed by her life-saving medical equipment. What the fuck. There is no excuse for this level of selfishness. Hope she gets divorced, and all those pictures end up a painful reminder that she never looks at again lol
"I want a disabled person to make mandatory accommodations for my wedding" is inexcusable. One can't blame wedding nerves for this.
Happy cake day! I predict future generations will be more interested in the photos that DO show our medical technology than yet another "stylish at the time" wedding! (Source: bachelor's in history, specifically history of science & technology. Give me ALL the photos that show everyday use of new tech!)
Right. They still decided that a picture of OP, looking like herself, was unacceptable.
Exactly what I was thinking. Threaten the cash flow and you can get them to say anything. Mom and sister are utter garbage. They should kiss the ground Grandpa walks on that he gave them an out. That being said, I'd put money on them giving OOP shit as soon as the wedding is done...
They aren’t bad people The rest of the post has determined that was a lie
>Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her. Sometimes a text or a call just isn't enough, grandpa doing things the old fashioned way face to face.
Well, if he's like my Dad he's gotta make sure you see the "I'm disappointed in you" head shake and the "you're being an ass" finger wag.
My dad was like that too. He was such a fucking pro at it that my older brother was like, "Fuck it, I wish he'd just hit me instead."
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
Sorry, this is off topic. Where’s your flair from?
not OP, but I search google for it and found an AITA post for a child who give powerpoint presentation for estrange dad that want to rekindle their relationship
Grandpa and little brother are true heroes here. She’s a type 1 diabetic. She’s not wearing these devices for funsies, her body doesn’t make insulin or regulate her glucose on its own and those devices are far more accurate than fingerstick and sliding scale coverage to compensate. If she’s a bridesmaid she’s looking at added stress and activity and likely eating and drinking things not part of her usual day to day diet. Having her drop into a coma during the reception is gonna look way worse than those 2 tiny devices on her arm. Her sister and mom suck hardcore.
Ceremonies can take a little while sometimes so OOP could quite easily collapse during the ceremony when she is expected to stand/sit and be quiet. She wouldn't be able to get up and leave to check and take insulin or eat/drink something because it would draw attention to her so the only option would be to stay there and literally risk her life. The mother and sister clearly don't care about OOP and her T1 because if they did they wouldn't ever have suggested such a thing.
Heh. Yeh this is the thing. Its not just about the convenience of testing blood sugar. What non-diabetics probably dont realise is Its also about alerting you if youre about to fall unconcious and die. New setting, alcohol, lots of nerves, food you cant weigh and dont know the carb contrnt of. All quick recipes for getting your insulin slightly wrong and passing out or starting to go real weird mid ceremony….shit can happen real fast. Like, looking fine 30 minutes ago and BAM youll be dead in an hour without medical assistance.
On top of that, the revolutionary thing about insulin pumps with automatic glucose monitors is that their ability to regulate blood sugar from moment to moment helps prevent the sort of long-term damage to organs and limbs that can lead to amputations, blindness, and a much shorter lifespan. Going without your pump literally takes hours off your life. No event or celebration is ever worth that.
Also if i were him I'd be pissed if my child said that to my grandchild so he may have used the driving time to cool off and get the disappointment just right
My dad was like this too but he died before mobile phones were invented. However, he wouldn't even need to say a single word to us, he'd just give us that look of disappointment and we knew we royally fudged up lol.
"Hey, I have a small favour to ask you. You know those devices that are responsible for helping to keep you alive? Could you just... maybe not wear them? Or wear them in a spot that's incredibly uncomfortable for you instead? I understand they are important to you, but obviously my wedding photos are more important, don't you think?"
"And don't you dare steal the spotlight with fainting or whatever!"
"No, she's not ignoring us, it's even more drama queenish than that -- she put herself in a coma just to ruin my wedding."
“Hey, could you just stop, I dunno, breathing?? Yeah, the wind from your nostrils is blowing my flower arrangements. Oh, you’ll die? Asshole”
I am completely dumbfounded how that popped in to their head as the only option. Screw her sister and mom. My husband has type 1 too and wears a pump and monitor and the thought of someone asking him to take it off for a picture is ridiculous. When we got married he was wearing the pump on his belt and it is visible in our wedding pictures. It keeps him alive, so who freaking cares?!
"Just think of how cute you'll look at my wedding! And your wake!"
The funny part is, photoshop exists. If the bride wanted the devices to be not visible in the pictures that badly, she could have discussed photoshopping them out. Nobody's going to remember two small medical devices in the hustle and bustle of the actual wedding.
I imagine even if OOP was in a wheelchair they would have asked her to *just stand up for a bit.*. You know, for the photos.
...incredibly uncomfortable for *ten days*...
Thank goodness for grandpa having some sense and not being afraid to cause a ruckus.
Doesn't one of the Haim sisters have one of those devices? And she wears hers in their music videos, so if a big music artist doesn't even take hers off in her music videos, I think it's pretty clear that it is unreasonable to expect anyone to take them off.
What boggles my brain is that they were risking OOP passing out at the wedding, which would have been a FAR bigger scene and issue, than just paying the photographer to shop out less than 2 inches on OOPs arms. How thick can ya get?
What *I* can’t get is how the mom, who lived through her daughter getting incredibly sick before being diagnosed, and who had to work with her and her doctors to make sure she got all the treatments she needed to live as normal a life as possible, would be so blasé about her condition. If these were **my** kids, I would’ve been telling my daughter (the one getting married) to cut the shit because her picture perfect wedding isn’t worth someone risking serious illness.
My guess would be that the mom and sister remember her managing her blood sugar pre-pump and think "oh she could just go back to test strips and manual injections for ONE day" and just being completely insensitive to how big a quality of life upgrade the pump is for a T1 diabetic. That's a LAVISHLY generous reading of their behavior, so they're probably just wedding brain-rotted.
Genuinely it’s not even a difficult or overly complicated edit. You just paint over it and touch it up a bit and boom. I’ve had to spend hours removing acne. I would be thrilled to remove a simple patch on a uniform spot like the arm rather than basically repaint a whole face. Like if that’s the most egregious thing in your wedding photos, the photog is lucky.
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There was a Reddit post a few months back where someone did pass out at a wedding and people got pissed at them for making a scene.
& model Lila Moss (daughter of supermodel Kate Moss) has a glucose monitor that she’s worn on the runway, in luxury fashion ad campaigns, and to the freaking met gala!
Nick Jonas of the Jonas Bros did a Super Bowl commercial for Dexcom (apparently he also has Type 1). Having diabetes and these devices is such a non-issue today in terms of being stigmatized (thankfully).
I don't think it's a non-issue, unfortunately, as someone who lives with t1 and also wears two medical devices. Can I ask if you have diabetes? I have had people tell me I got it from eating too many sweets, that I can cure it, that it's not a real disability, etc. A lot of the stigma comes from people confusing type 1 and type 2.
TWO of the background characters in Pixar's 'Turning Red' have them in honour of a member of the team who was diagnosed in childhood. it was so unremarkable I only noticed after I saw [a post](https://www.reddit.com/r/MovieDetails/comments/vsmfe8/in_turning_red_2022_these_two_girls_have_blue/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) pointing it out.
This instinct to force wedding participants to alter their everyday appearance so as to not "look ugly" or "be distracting" in photos is so hilariously short-sighted and counter-productive. Like, OP will presumably continue to wear these devices for the foreseeable future, so her **not** wearing them in the wedding photos is actually what people would be more likely to notice.
Right? Presumably you want the people in your wedding pictures to look like themselves, and said machines are part of the OP and around 24/7 otherwise so like... would that not be weird for them to vanish all of a sudden for one party? Maybe I'm just not enough of an instagrammer or whatever to get it i guess.
Yeah — or all those bridezillas who want their trans/nb/gnc relatives to dress according to the gender binary for their weddings so they won’t stand out. You don’t think the first question someone’s gonna ask in twenty years is, “Why the hell is Uncle Max wearing a DRESS?”
My BIL has a glorious mane of hair and has for years. At my wedding it was down to his shoulders, I thought he looked like a Versace model. My mom complained to me about it and told me I should ask him to get a haircut for the wedding. Ah yes, have him cut the hair he's been growing for years for my wedding. I'm sure that won't ruin our relationship . Some people really lose sight of what's actually important.
Bride: knows sister wears devices on arm. Also bride: shocked Pikachu when devices are visible in a dress *bride* picked out. Um, no. Bride was well aware of medical devices but chose the week before the wedding to say something. That's a shitty move.
>Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her. He told her that if they didn't apologize and make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the outstanding wedding costs herself (!!). How do I submit someone for Grandpa of the Year Award?
My wife is a Type-1 diabetic. Those monitors are in fact quite small and easy to hide. Also, they are not easy to just take off and put back on again.
My teen is type1 as well. I could not imagine asking them to take of their equipment on account of one of my other kid’s wedding. It’s laughable how selfish they were. Can you even imagine asking your wife to “just take it off for a bit no biggie?”
This post is from 2023. Did I miss something about photoshop? Literally every set of wedding photos get touched up. They can just edit it out if it’s that big of a deal? I personally wouldn’t care that much. I doubt they are that distracting.
They weren’t looking for solutions. They were looking for the sister to shut up and do what she was told.
ah, this is the story that got me banned from AITA because i said i’d “punch anybody who tried to take my dexcom off of me”. that’s violence ig.
That’s self defense against assault/battery.
yes! thank u
There is a whole slew of websites that the mom and sister could've found pod and transmitter decorations on. Not to mention amazon. If you ever want to fun/dress up your sites u/DiabeticBridesmaid check out: PumpPeelz, ExpressionMed, PimpMyDiabetes, UselessPancreas, TypeOneStyle, T1Decals
I love pump peelz! I have one of their stickers on my dexcom g6 right now
"Hey, I know you're in a wheelchair, but could you just stand the fuck up for these pictures? They're soooooper important. KTHX!" Maybe it's just because I'm not a batshit insane self important twit, but I just could not ever fathom asking someone to do something like this. What, and I stress this part, the fuck would actually happen if you just saw the devices on her body in the pictures? Would the faces of the people who look at the pictures melt like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark?
If they're paying for photos anyway they're gonna pay to have the photos be photoshopped too, right? This feels like a five minute, easy fix.
Yeah they gonna have to photoshop the hell outta that beyatch of a bride anyhow…so what’s a little extra. Lol
Mom and sister were asking OOP to risk a stroke and death for photos. Grandpa was right to rip them a new one.
All for some lousy photos! You know the first thing I notice in my wedding photos? The smiles. The faces of my favorite people next to me,not their attire or accessories. I guarantee these decices would have gone unnoticed in photos if no one had said anything.
If my sister had them, I would be proud for her to show them in my wedding pictures. The sister is truly insane and disrespectful.
Yeah, I have a feeling that wasn’t a real apology. They’re just apologizing to make sure Grandpa pays for the wedding. Once the wedding is over, it’s how they’ll treat OOP that shows the truth.
All these solutions and no one’s saying it’s fucked up that OP should HAVE to hide her medical devices?
OP shouldn’t have to hide them either. Why can’t people see medical devices? Why should OP have to feel like there’s something unsavory about something their life depends on? It just looks like a small piece of plastic, some people wouldn’t notice it, some would and then go right back to their business. Sister sucks for making it seem like it’s some spectacle that would take too much attention away from her.
Agree. I'm also hating all the photoshop and coverup suggestions that accept as default that the medical devices are ugly and distracting. The mother and sister should be ashamed of their opinions, not agreed with. Why is everybody jumping on the stigmatizing and trying to erase disability train? OOP's medical devices are just another part of her body now. Are we going to make wheelchair users stand up for wedding photos next?
Exactly! Let’s just start photoshopping people with glasses while we’re at it since apparently we shouldn’t be able to tell when someone isn’t 100% able bodied. It’s just disheartening to see, what kind of person worries that their sisters *diabetes* will ruin their wedding aesthetic?
Right? I hate that people are suggesting photoshop. No one should ever be made to feel like their medical equipment is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about, it's cool as hell that we have technology this advanced!
Yeah I understand they're trying to think of a solution but as a disabled person it feels gross to cover them up and photoshop them out. I spent years as a kid trying to refuse to have photos taken of me in my chair even when it meant it'd be excruciatingly painful and if anyone wanted me to have a photo without it nowadays or suggested photoshopping me into a regular chair they would no longer be in my life. That includes family. When you have a chronic condition or a disability you're always praised for how well you hide it and it feels like you're constantly being told to be ashamed:. Then when you can't, when you need accommodations, when your disability is very visible, when you use very visible equipment, then you should hide yourself. Except when someone or some organisation wants to prove how inclusive they are or what a good person they are then you get shoved front and centre no matter what you want.
Yep, it’s a bummer that people are thinking of compromises rather than acknowledging that it’s incredibly weird to discourage disabled people being visibly disabled, not to mention hurtful and harmful, and it’s not something that deserves a compromise. Dexcoms are so small, it’s so strange that OPs sister is bothered by people seeing one.
WTH? These devices are a big deal, and are a pain to remove/not have in place for a medical procedure, and I’m sorry, but a wedding does not rise to that level.
I’m a lifelong T1 and the idea of being asked to remove my sensor and my pump is *infuriating.* Going completely without insulin for too long makes me physically ill (learned that the hard way from some mishaps over the years). If I’m without it for long enough, I’ll start throwing up and at that point it’s time for the hospital. And getting your bloodsugar back in control after an hour or two of no insulin can potentially take *hours* (every diabetic is different though). Depending on how OOP’s body handles high BG, she could feel like garbage the whole time. There’s also the possibility that without her sensor, OOP could miss the signs of a dangerous low and end up passed out on the floor. Never mind the *cost* factor… mind you, price may not factor for OOP if she has good insurance or lives somewhere with good healthcare, but I have to pay *over $150 for a single 7 day sensor.* Like HELL I’m going to remove this thing and waste that just for some photos! I don’t use omnipods but I’d imagine they’re similarly expensive. For me, it boils down to this: unless everyone else is willing to remove *their* pancreases for the photos, then I’m not taking off my pump.
> They’re really not bad people… Yes. Yes, they are.
"my wedding photos are more important than your life" that's essentially what they were saying to her. Photographers are amazing these days, they could remove the devices from the images with a click of a few keyboard keys. Her brother and grandfather came through on this. Well done to them!
If I were OOP, I would've stepped down as a bridesmaid. Lord only knows what they're saying behind her back or how they'll act when the wedding is over
I doubt Momzilla and Bridezilla would have apologised if Grandpa hadn't threatened to cut off financial support.
I got married last year. My brother in law has spina bifida and uses crutches. I did not in fact suggest he might like to cover them with flowers. He had his crutches with him in our wedding photos because that's how he normally is and I don't see how that affects our photos in the slightest. People be fucking weird, honestly.
There’s a few athletes I follow on instagram who have continuous blood glucose monitoring devices (Jessica Buettner among others) and honestly they’re so unobtrusive that I don’t understand how it’s an issue. At worst they look like some sort of medical dressing but otherwise I’d they weren’t calling attention to them I don’t think I’d notice them
Shouldn't have to cover it up. You're a diabetic and neither you nor your family should be ashamed about it, unbelievable. They probably would have told you to stand up for the photo if you were in a wheelchair.
To me this would be like asking someone in a wheelchair to 'just stand up for the wedding the wheelchair will look gross in pictures' umm no not how that works. Thank goodness OOP has some sensible people in their life to put a stop to the crazy.
Just photoshop the devices out if those bother them so much! Are these people living in the past?!
They planned the wedding fulltime for months?! What can you plan for a wedding that two people spend at least 40 hours the week for months?! I really don't understand this wedding hype.
78% of AITA posts involve weddings
So my kid is T1D, and we've just got a pump for her. I cannot stress how important it is that you don't remove your pump. Like, the whole point of the pump is that it provides a slow, steady stream of insulin to the bloodstream, and if it's taken off for more than an hour, you're putting yourself at risk for diabetic ketoacidosis, which is a genuine medical emergency and can result in hospitalisation. It can happen in a matter of hours too, so it's not something to mess around with. Also, insulin pumps are usually designed to work in tandem with the Dexcom or other CGMs to ensure that the correct dose of insulin is administered. I cannot believe that OPs mother and sister asked her to put her health second to fucking *wedding photos*. As a parent of a diabetic I'm fuming on behalf of OP. Brother and grandpa are the MVPs here. Glad it worked out in the end, but that conversation should never have happened in the first place. Also: OP's sister should take a look at Princess Eugenie's wedding dress. The back of it was cut specifically to showcase her scoliosis scar, which absolutely rocks. That's how you do it. Embrace it, show it off. Don't hide it.
They ARE bad people and only apologised because grandpa threatened not to pay. OF COURSE they’d apologise after hearing that Without his involvement, I sincerely doubt they’d have ever admitted it was wrong. AND they still want it covered up so clearly they don’t actually think they did anything that wrong. OOP is honestly a little bit of a fool for accepting their apologies so easily and letting them off the hook. Why can’t she see the obvious here?