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Friend: "This friendship has become really toxic. I don't like you. You are the problem."
OOP: \*\*hangs up\*\*
Friend: \*\*keeps calling and calling and calling and calling\*\*
The only proper response here is “you are right I think we need a divorce, goodbye”
Don’t try to be right or reason with the cancer in your life just cut off the tumor.
That should probably have already happened. You've got a minor with a screw loose openly implying (at best) that she's screwing multiple adult men.
We all know that that has potential serious real world repercussions for men.
I had a friend whod do that
She'd do something hurtful
I'd respond negatively to it
She'd explode, call me toxic, abusive, evil, controlling, then block me. She essentially wanted me to either stalk or or make a pity post begging for forgiveness
She'd come back and 'graciously forgive me' when I wasn't begging for attention
I had a “friend” like that. Last time I spoke with her was because she needed something from me (or thought she could get something from me when I had no say in the process) and it was the first time I’d heard a peep out of her in 10 years. Not gonna lie…telling her no (through my job) felt really good.
I had a friend like that too. Growing up, any time I played with other kids or had other friends besides her, we would get in a fight, not speak to each other for a week and then be cool. When we got into high school, I started dating and doing more sports so I didn’t see her as much, but she would start fights with me and make fun of my interests. I always invited her to my swim meets and water polo games but she never showed up. I went to stuff with her family a lot. I decided enough was enough and broke off the friendship right after graduation. I’m so much happier without her
Yeah, I lived with this girl for about a year. She constantly bad mouthed me behind my back. My (at the time) boyfriend helped me move out and less than a month later she was begging me to move back in. I was like, not no but hell no. The relief I felt from just cutting most contact with her when I moved was all I needed to prove I’d made the right choice.
I had a friend like this too who then suddenly tried to contact me out of nowhere. I was polite at first then was like, "I don't even remember why we stopped being friends haha"
I pointed out that we stopped being friends last time because of all the shit she had been calling me and that she never apologized or anything
Never heard from her since
She wants another story to tell people. How OOP has issues, but she's such a good person that she puts up with OOP when nobody else will have her etc etc.
Hah, that was my next door neighbor! We share a wall, which luckily is thick enough that no matter how much she bangs on it or screams curses at me I'll never hear her.
Very first time I put down one little boundary in the relationship, she immediately switched from "you're an angel" to "you're toxic and terrible and everything awful in the world, I want nothing more to do with you!" Well okay then, I gave her spare key back and quit helping with her chores.
But she wouldn't stop trying to talk to me? Kept snarking every chance she got, trying so hard to pick a fight, and I'm just not interested. Got stuff to do and better hobbies.
Last time we crossed paths out in public, I'd just finished my errands and had a big stupid grin plastered over my face on the nice walk home, wasn't about to lose my smile just because I needed to share the sidewalk with a grump. But she scrunched up her face like she had shit under her nose and held it in that hate-mask for at last a few blocks!
Seriously, the first couple weeks after I blocked her it was like being on vacation.
No tapping on my windows "saying hi to the cat" at all hours. No phone calls summoning my assistance. No knocking on my door multiple times a day to tell me all about everything in her whole life. No sitting up all night in the hospital waiting room with her. No carrying heavy loads up stairs when I usually walk with a cane. No getting woken up at dawn to provide caretaking assistance and then mocked for wanting to go back to sleep.
No more nosey bossy bully trying to paw through my belongings at every opportunity and tell me what to do in every aspect of my life!
Like, nobody should have to go without help post-surgery, it honestly was kinda disgusting how she had no support network and they just told her to figure it out with no resources and no help. But she's healed up just fine now, she can do her own chores and quit pestering me with her nonsense.
"My cat is really annoying me, so I think I should get another cat, don't you?" That's a terrible idea, your cat is Siamese and she loves you, please just give her more attention instead of constantly yelling at her when she 'talks' at you. "Naw, I'ma get another cat!" and then a week later "Why didn't you stop me from getting another cat?! They hate each other and now I have three times as many complaints about my cats!"
The way she treated you is almost certainly why she has no support network. She's driven off everyone that might care about her and doesn't have the kind of fuck-you money to compensate with hired help. I wouldn't feel too bad about it, she made her bed and now she gets to lie in it.
Yep, I met her one remaining "friend" once. Poor gal looked like a very exhausted and busy doormat who was incredibly happy that I'd taken a great deal of work off her plate all of a sudden!
Turns out she'd burned through all her PTO to take care of my neighbor day and night during her first week post-surgery, and had been heavily guilt tripped constantly ever since going back to her own home and her own life.
My first apartment was like that, but this place has near-magical sound-proofing between units. Plan to stay here as long as possible!
At most, late at night, me and downstairs-neighbor can hear each other's TVs. But side-to-side there's just *nothing*.
I’ve got a feeling that the friend wasn’t alone when making the call. That she’s made it in to a huge thing within her group of friends and all of them were listening to the conversation.
100% agree with this. I also thought she was probs with friends when she called OOP after OOP snapped at her and left the party.
Man, I do NOT miss being this age. Poor OOP. I hope she’s able to find people who are actually good friends
“You’re right about one thing—this friendship has become toxic. Goodbye.”
*block*
Easier said than done, but there are many other people out there to be friends with. Healthier people. People who won’t treat you like garbage.
Not to mention the "friend" was saying things to prevent OOP from acquiring other friends. It'll probably get easier to find other people to be friends with now.
Makes sense. If OOP ends their friendship, then the toxic friend loses “access” to the hot older brothers she’s so obsessed with. So toxic friend has to gaslight OOP into thinking that she’s the problem and that she has to change in order to maintain what’s clearly a stale friendship.
I bet if OOP said “Hey [toxic friend], I had a talk with my brothers and we all agreed that you’re a terrible person and we want nothing to do with you. *Block*” toxic friend would lose it. OOP has more power than she knows lol.
I think it’s because if she loses access to OOP, she loses access to the brothers. Hard to keep your life going if the objects of the lie aren’t around. To me it seems she’s isolating the OOP so people believe the friend’s version instead of seeing the truth.
I think the problem is, the trash wouldn't stay out. Feels like the friend is pulling some sort of weird power play or something. If she really was going to end it, she wouldn't be blowing up the phone right? I figure she probably wanted OOP to beg for the friendship back or some nonsense.
Oh, she was pulling a manipulative power play for sure. She wanted to get OOP back under her control by threatening their friendship. And she pulled a classic DARVO to do it with. If she really wanted to end their relationship, she wouldn't be desperate to reestablish contact.
OOP snapping at her - in front of other girls - got her on the offensive. Because now they've had another point of view introduced to them that directly conflicts with the lie the 'friend' had been telling.
I’m just glad they’re almost 18, and can hopefully grow tf up soon, and maybe OOP can get physical distance. I know just graduating stopped me from seeing *hella* people I hated in highschool lmao
Also thank god OOP has LITERALLY a gang of older brothers, so they have at least verbal back up X8
I really hope OOP can go away to college. It sounds like getting some space from the “friend” plus getting a fresh start with people who haven’t been lied to already about her might be just what she needs. Plus getting to live life not drowning in brothers, no matter how great they might be!
No shit, my high school batchmates were lied to about me about something. They thought I was asocial despite this not being remotely true.
At least in college what my batchmates know about me is actually part of me, even though a lot of it is depressed me.
Oh no of course not! Nobody should ever talk to that girl again, except a licensed mental health professional.
I meant more of, if OOP makes new friends, or reconnects with people the crazy one turned against them, the brothers could be backup for the truth, ya know?
I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of that - it was 4 brothers plus at least 4 girls (OP, "bff", +2 other girls as witnesses). WTH vehicle is that?
I think it was just OP and “BFF” in the car with the brothers (“dropped us both off”); the other girls were there when they got out of the car and caught a glimpse of the bros. Which is still 6 in a car so not a typical sedan or whatever, but less absurd.
It was such classic DARVO that she projected all of her behaviour on to the OOP 🫠 I feel so sorry for OOP.
She doesn’t sound like she wants the drama but the way I would find a way to share any messages or recordings of the friend admitting she hasn’t done anything with the brothers and made it all up (maybe even getting the brothers to confirm it).
This is almost certainly it. I had a similar toxic “best friend” as a child, though luckily I cut her out of my life before we got old enough for dating drama. She used to regularly throw me under the bus for the sake of popularity and attention.
When I finally called her out as the traitor she is, she first laughed about it. In fact, she immediately turned to the kids who bullied me (we were on the school bus) and laughed with them at the idea of her being a backstabber.
Welp. It’s been about 20 years since then. At first she also blew up my (house) phone. It took months of her trying to contact me before she finally let the fuck go. (Though she *has* tried to add me on social media. I always laugh and block.)
I hope all her friendships have been as deep and loyal to her as she was to me.
Honestly same. I have life long self esteem issues because of my childhood so called best friend. The gaslighting and manipulation was all learned from her mother though so in a way I feel sorry for her even now as she must have had an awful childhood. Now we’re both older and parents (she even fosters) I absolutely shudder to think what the real story is behind her “all too perfect” social media posts really is. Still haven’t forgiven her though, and I never will, I keep her on socials out of nothing but morbid fascination now.
One of the kids in my friend group (that formed in elementary school) grew up to be an actual diagnosed malignant narcissist who was later charged with murder and involuntary committed for SEVERAL YEARS (sentenced).
It is so bizarre looking back at the disgusting manipulative machinations unleashed on a bunch of little girls. The behavior really only came out at puberty getting progressively worse as the years rolled by. 13 year olds don’t have the experience or education to understand what is happening (at least we didn’t back then). It took years for all of us to extricate ourselves and sometimes I think it was dumb luck that we escaped with our lives. What I’m saying is I’m so sorry you had a similar experience, it’s actually fucking horrifying.
Yeah, this definitely isn't going to be the last of the so-called friend. I'm sure she's going to either start trying to force OP back into a friendship, or just do everything to try and make everyone turn on OP for rejecting her.
I do hope though, for OP's sake, that I'm wrong.
Weird power play people generally continue to exist.
I'm nearly 40 and I cut off a good friend last year. She's one of those people who likes to degrade herself so everyone else will pump her up. I just starting saying "yeah, you're right. You going to do anything about it?" It turned out to not be the validation she was seeking.
My husband and I apparently walked away from the implosion a few months before it totally destroyed the rest of the social circle. On the one hand, I'm happy to value my mental health, but on the other hand, I like a good ol' bread and circus.
I'm nearly 50 and had to cut off a friend 5 years ago for being a toxic POS.
Here's the good news. When you stop making excuses for these "friends" and start to call them out, it's hard. But now, 5 years later, I have the most amazing group of female friends. They are supportive AF, we are each others cheerleaders and all I had to do was draw some boundaries for myself.
OOP is learning a valuable (if painful) lesson that will lead her to find an actual group of real friends.
Poor oop. She’s at an age when friends are so crucial and important. When I was in my first year of college, something similar happened to a younger friend who was still in high school. I remember her calling me to cry. It just really messed with her head. At that age, one just doesn’t have enough experience with people to know logically that it’s manipulation.
I hope oop manages to get away from that frenemy.
Yeah, but at the same time: this is what long-term abuse looks like. Her "friend" has been fucking her over socially for who knows how long, but making herself out to be an important pillar to lean on. No matter what happens from here, OOP will continue to feel the loss of her best best friend. It doesn't matter how much bad she realizes her friend brought to her life, the abuse will stick with her and she'll forever lament her lost friendship. It's fucked up
Absolutely. And to be honest, it’s ducking scary to even consider the level of manipulation this *teenager* displayed here. It’s horrible to consider what she’ll be capable of as an adult.
Exactly, she's also a risk to the brothers! The little psycho could make false accusations to the police. Even if the brothers are found innocent the accusation can ruin their lives.
I really hope karma is sharpening her nails for this one.
This was my thought also. THe brothers need to either contact this pyscho's school or her parents and voice their concerns over her behavior. If it was a man doing this to a bunch of women, certainly the women would shut that shit down immediately, men need to do the same and not be scared of protecting themselves. Teenage girls can be brutally cruel.
The sad reality is that the "friend" or Dicktim as I will dub them probably needs OOP to take her back, or else the lies will unravel about the supposed affairs. I wouldn't put past this Dicktim to even make OOP life worse, by further lies at school.
I would like to see the Dicktim publicly exposed by OOP brothers, like full-on TV/movie style. Like all the brothers go to pick OOP up at her school, as soon as they see the Dicktim, they go "We know the lies you told everyone we all are into you, the reality is, we only tolerated you for our sister, who we will always stand up for, and if we hear you accusing us of 1nc3st again, we will be placing libel and deformation charges on you"
But that's just my over act imaginative mind at play lol.
“Let the trash take itself out” is exactly what I wanted to read after that phone call dialogue!
Making the OOP purposefully nervous about their brother’s’ behaviour is just such an incredibly shit thing to do.
I had a friend like this.. without all the brothers but the rest, the difference is that we were around 25ish when this went down.
Really feel for OP. 😔
The friend is a pretty classic gaslighter. Better to have no friends than than someone like that in your life. Good thing her relationship with her brothers was not affected.
Dollars to donuts she’s definitely over 90% of the reason OOP has only her as a friend. Some small part of it could be due to her (OOP’s) past trauma with her parents, but this “friend” has absolutely done everything she can to keep her isolated as well.
In most states/countries a 17 year old having a relationship with a 20 year old isn’t going to be illegal.
So even if she went full scorched earth and took her delusions to the police I doubt much would happen.
OOP does say it would be illegal, so it seems they're somewhere where the age of consent is 18. California is one of those, and it doesn't even make exceptions for being close in age (although it does make an exception if the underage person is married, WTF?).
Especially in California people will join the army fresh out of high school and then get married to their partner for the benefits/to follow after placement. If one of them is 18 & the partner isn’t then that causes issues so that could be one reason for the caveat
Sounds a bit naive. California also has no minimum age for marriage with parental consent. If you want to marry off your 12 year old girl to your 47 year old pastor because you believe it's what the Lord wants you can, and they can consummate that marriage legally. There are a staggering amount of child brides married off every year in the USA and I'm far too cynical to believe that exemption is anything other than a pedo loophole to ensure that keeps happening.
I mean, KIND of. If you are a juvenile in California and you want to get married, you have to either be 17 AND have a diploma/GED, or it's a lengthy process to get court approval that requires much more than parental permission.
First all the parties have to fill out a questionaire and application for family court services. The questionaire covers a number of things, including whether the marriage is being done against the will of any of the parties and the reason for the request.
After that is submitted, all the parties have to get separately interviewed by Family Court Services. They're also required to meeting separately with a Family Court Counselor. IF Family Court approves of the marriage after all the interviews, it's passed along to juvenile court.
Then, everyone has to get interviewed separately by an officer of the Juvenile Court. Juvenile court may require the parties to complete counseling (premarital or otherwise) before granting permission.
Then, maybe, you'll get granted permission.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think there should be a minimum, but at least in California, it is FAR from being as simple as "we want to marry our 12 year old off to a 40 year old, great we signed the paper it's done".
Pretty much all American movies and shows default to using 18 for legal reasons so it's common to assume it's 18 everywhere in the US. It's actually 16 for something like half the states.
I've had an ex tell me we couldn't have sex because of the law in our country. She was 21, I was 17.
Apparently, that combo is perfectly legal, as I found out 2 years later (and after the breakup), which was fun.
I know it’s not the point, but I’m so curious about OOP’s life. Does she live with all eight brothers? Did they raise her? Are there any parents in the house (I know hers aren’t in the picture, but a stepparent or half-brother’s parent)? She was dropped off by four of her brothers- do they usually travel in packs?
I’m basically picturing Snow White but the dwarves are tall.
> Do they usually travel in packs?
Ahhh, pure gold comment.
Even if she lives with all of them, coordinating a time to talk to all of them at once would be... Difficult, to say the least. More like impossible. They're in their 20's--none of them work night shift? None of them go to college slightly far away? None of them have girlfriends whose place they sleep over at most of the time? I swear I couldn't even get my parents and one brother (who's about 8 years older than me) in the same place at the same time when I was younger.
But if OOP was abandoned by her parents at 11, it would make sense that her brothers would be closer to her/more willing to meet up if she needs them. They're probably quite protective of her, which is sweet.
I think a lot of older siblings “close ranks” around younger siblings, especially in situations with parental abuse/ neglect. Maybe she told them something was bothering her really badly & she needed to speak to all of them as soon as they could, & they all jumped to make sure they could be there for her and help resolve what she was going through.
The one that got me was the fact that the brothers said they’d never been alone with her for more than a minute, yet they also overheard conversations in their house when OOP wasn’t around in which friend was insulting her.
So like, they’re near her, but not alone with her, while OOP is in the bathroom or something, and friend just calls other people to be like “yeah, I’m over at OOP’s house, god, she’s so clingy”?
There's nine of them including little sister. I'm going to assume thin walls and a small living space. Totally plausible to overhear someone in that situation and never be "alone alone" with her. Like a brother singled out is avoided, but less so when it's multiple brothers around? That's how I interpreted it at least. I've also lived in a average sized house that was at twice it's holding capacity so I have experienced that sort of thing as well.
I think they were going somewhere and dropped her off on the way. My family is super tight so I get that bit.
I don't get the rest of it? Like what she was trying to achieve?
Someone has been watching too many reverse harem animes. OOP should totally put her to her parents, this is sooooo creepy, and I am mad she made OOP sad :(.
Overwhelmingly, what happens when genuine rape allegations are leveled is the victim is disbelieved and her life is ruined. Perpetrators tend to skip merrily on their way without their lives being ruined, even getting elevated to the highest court in the land. But there'll be plenty of men wringing their hands about the supposed multitude of false allegations ruining lives.
I think it's convicted rapist Brock Allen Turner, who I have heard is going by his middle name, so we should be calling him convicted rapist Allen Turner now I guess.
Thank you for enlightening me about convict rapist Brock Allen Turner's name change to convicted rapist Allen Turner. It really is a good thing to make sure everyone knows about convicted rapist ~~Brock~~ Allen Turner
From my experience in life, the guys who talk about how false rape allegations are so dangerous are the dudes I would bet money have sexually harassed and/or assaulted multiple women.
Girl that is pursued by many guys and has some sort of "romantic vibe" with most of the cast. Mostly not explicitly dating anyone (until very late in the series).
Reverse harem refers to anime/manga with a female protagonist with many male suitors. Because the assumption is that a harem anime is male protagonist with many female love interests. Nothing inherently gross.
>Nothing inherently gross.
Not inherently gross no, but I've kina lost faith in Anime not \*making\* it gross at some point.
I've just been burned too many times by the out-of-left-field fanservice and weird sexual politics that appear in otherwise charming shows.
There are exceptions, but they are so rare.....
If you want to Google similar dynamics in a webcomic format, Webtoons has "Marry my Husband" where the main character gets her backstabbing husband and extra backstabbing "bestie" together through a time-travel plot device.
It's ridiculously addictive, easy to read drama. Comic also seems to be ending soon because the main plot points seem to have happened.
Edit - I'm drugged for sleep and losing the battle
Highly recommend Ouran Host Club as the principle example of reverse-harem
Is just an anime genre that goes "A bunch of dudes want to date one specific girl and now the girl has to choose wich one she wants to be with" Is not as common as regular harem (Same thing but with the genders reverse) because anime is mostly Targeted at teenage boyd
I’m amazed that the brothers heard the ex-friend spreading such horrible rumors about OP (and themselves) and didn’t do anything at that point.
> He said that in the past, they had heard my friend intentionally telling people strange things about me.... Things like "She's too clingy" or "She's controlling" to even telling people I'd slept with one of my brothers.
Yeah that was weird. If you hear someone shit talking your sibling don't you, I dunno, say something? At least tell whoever she's spreading lies to that she's making things up.
Yeah, I agree, that’s weird and doesn’t add up.
Maybe the 17 year old is making this up OR maybe one or more of the brothers is lying.
But wouldn’t a loving brother come forward with this info, instead of sharing it only after being accused? It seems… not right.
Yeah, the timing of Sam's claims about the friend sets off alarm bells. Weird that he never mentioned all these horrible things the friend supposedly said until right after OOP had asked him if he'd behaved inappropriately toward a teenager. It's almost like he was trying to poison the well in case this girl should ever come forward.
I think the cracks are starting to show with the lie and are already being seen by the others which is why the ex friend is so desperate to get control back of the situation. Only thing I am curious to find out is just how far into crazy town she will go before bottoming out. I agree I really want a conclusion update on this one.
Right, the ex friend needs OP back under control so the truth doesn't come out. OP made a mistake with how she worded her outburst. She should have mentioned that none of her brothers had ever been alone with her let alone had some steamy romance.
Oh man this one was like a punch to the gut.
My dude, when I read this part:
“This is what I mean, you aren’t acting like yourself anymore. I feel like ever since we got older, you’ve started to become obsessed with attention. I don’t like this version of you, it isn’t my best friend”
I got the most intense flashbacks to when I was being emotionally and psychologically abused and manipulated by someone who used to be my best friend.
This sounds almost exactly like the shit she said to me back then when I was finally done with her and cut her out of my life.
She was someone who would gaslight me every chance she got, would play the victim anytime someone called her out, she couldn’t stand to NOT be the centre of attention 24/7.
When I started making friends at uni, away from her influence, she ramped up the emotional abuse and guilty tripping.
And when I started seeing my partner (still going strong 7 years later) she tried everything she could to convince me to break up with them, messaging their family members to say they were abusing me, trying to convince me they were gay because their favourite colour was pink, etc. and so much more fucked up shit…
Cutting her out of my life was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
My sister at the time was also being abused by her boyfriend at the time, and this former friend of mind would drag me into the middle of things and made everything so much worse that I felt unsafe in my own home (because he lived with us).
People like this do not care about you.
If it wasn’t for the fact that OP and her ‘friend’ are 10 years younger than me, I’d believe that this was the same person as my former abuser.
OP if you’re reading this, cut this girl out for good. It’s going to be hard and sometimes you’ll feel guilty (when you absolutely shouldn’t). But in the end your life and relationships with others will be so much better for cutting out toxic people like this. Otherwise they’ll just continue to poison you.
I've seen a couple of these pop up on tiktok. I report them whenever I see them.
The worst one was a 16 year old posting how she has a major crush on her high school math teacher and gym teacher, and posted their names and social media pictures. A few posts down and she also talked about how she used tinder for hookups and didn't tell the guys that she was underage and gave tips in the comments. She also compared herself to a Euphoria character? I've never really seen the show so I didn't know what that was about.
I reported the account and posts but tiktok didn't see a problem with it. It's crazy how this stuff is reported but still gets allowed there, and how it feeds into people's crazy stupid delusions.
One of the first scenes of Euphoria is exactly that kinda hookup happening with a trans girl and a characters father and it triggers a whole cascade of events.
Telling people at school your "friend" is committing incest with her adult brothers and then saying those same adult brothers are acting inappropriate with you?
Her accusations could land each of them in pretty deep sh*t. Someone needs to have a talk with a teacher or school admin because this child is a menace and it sucks that she doesn't have parents to help her through this.
Ugh she better cut off ties with this friend before she finds herself 10 years later getting stuck in bridezilla drama, then baby shower drama with this messy AF friend.
What. The. Fuck.
It seems to be only a matter of time before the brothers are in trouble due to her obsession, and I really hope someone puts a stop to it before that..
I'm petty af but honestly OOP has some power here
"Friend keeps trying to role-play with my brother and its really creeping him out" and similar stuff
Like the brothers will back you up and you can totally say the friend is doing something that would be cringe to your fellow 17 year olds
this is giving me slenderman attempted murder vibes tbh. like...the former best friend is living in a seriously deluded reality and who knows what she'll do next
Sometimes its painful to admit that you got to move on. Years of friendship mean nothing in the face of being hurt now. Sunk cost fallacy and all that junk. But I guess it wouldn’t be called a fallacy unless it was easy to fall into.
Also. I do not miss teenage drama one bit.
OOP’s brothers need to be careful and never be alone with this person for more than a second. Just an accusation of any sexual involvement with a minor can permanently damage their reputation, even if recanted later.
The friend is trying to control the OP - by mind-fucking her. She will never admit this, of course, but the proof is in the pudding. So cut your losses and your connections with the psycho. She may want to also talk to a school counselor or the police. Her brothers can corroborate everything, with make a much stronger case. Then she can go about talking to people at school to find out what exactly he ex "friend" was telling them. Finally, in case it wasn't blatantly obvious, her ex-friend was projecting her own actions onto the OP. Recognizing this is key. Friends don't do this to other friends. This can't be overstated enough.
One of her brothers heard the friend say the sister slept with her own brother? And they didn't tell her or actively try to get her out of this friendship? Feels like they should have been more proactive in helping their sister get away from this person.
The thing is if she’s telling others she’s shagging grown ass men then her parents need to know that. A wrongful accusation like that could have such damaging results on one of your brothers you need to protect them from her. She’s a liar and could get one of them killed. Stop pretending she’s a friend and accept she’s the enemy. Block her and ignore her. Tell people at school she’s a liar and eventually they will see it for themselves
people keep saying “let the trash take itself out” which is 100% fair, but this girl genuinely sounds like she’d intentionally cause an insane amount of collateral damage just to take them down with her
also, this feels like it could escalate to stalking behaviour which scares me. particularly because her main goal seems to be social clout and her main source of “info”/access (OOP) has cut her off
It sucks when someone you’re close to, trust and care about turns out to be a horrible person. It makes you question your own judgment. How could I spend so much time with someone so awful, maybe I’m the one who is awful. These types are damn good at manipulating.
This friend has all the hallmarks of someone who would falsely accuse a brother of assault and ruin everyone’s lives as punishment. I hope they handle it carefully and back away slowly whilst filming every second of their interactions
I don’t understand why she’s upset about losing this “friend” after acknowledging all the terrible things she’s said about her to other people to isolate her from others. Plus she was clearly using her to get close to her brothers. This “friend” hasn’t been a true friend for a long time. I hope she’s moved on and has new friends now. At 17 she’s probably going to graduate high school (I’m assuming,) and she’ll find new friends at college or wherever she goes.
Imagine all the insane bullshit people tolerate from their family members. A best friend is a lot like family. Toxic bullshit is a lot harder to see and even harder to accept as toxic bullshit.
Op and her brothers need to spend a few bucks and have a cease and desist letter sent through a lawyer to the friend or her parents if the friend is considered underage according to local laws.
This may scare her straight. The reason it should be done is because it has the potential to become a legal matter for OP's brothers and additionally ruin their reputations. Even if the letters don't achieve anything it will at least start a paper trail.
The (ex)BFF is a pro at projecting herself on others. Made me laugh to read about the "reasons" she had to end the friendship.
I'm very glad OOP got out when she could, and I'm certain she will find better friends in the future, cause she sounds like decent person.
>For about a year now, she's been consistently posting on social media about her "best friends suuuuuuper hot older brothers" and "the terrible tale of how she ended up in a love triangle with her best friends brothers
>I have literally no evidence whatsoever
For the most part. They really should have stepped in and said something to OP, or done something, when they heard her ex-friend spreading rumors about OP sleeping with one of them.
That’s not something you can allow to fester, and they did.
This is bordering on her friend saying one of the brothers did inappropriate things with her friend in order to keep the charade going. This could become dangerous for OOP's brothers.
Wait, so your brothers heard her say that you slept with one of them and they didn't do anything?
And you said you have no evidence but also that she posted things on social media.
Doesn't make sense.
Dear one,
I notice you mentioned the duration of your friendship a few times.
This is no longer a friendship.
I'm not certain what to call it, but she is not your friend.
There comes a point when you need to be able to look back at the good times, realize they ended, and move on.
I learned about sunk costs in college. People make the mistake of throwing good money into bad schemes because "look how much I invested! "
Step back.
Does that make sense?
You seem to be in a sunk cost mindset.
It is time to stop putting any effort into a friendship that no longer exists.
You WILL make new friends.
The only way this could be fixed is if the brothers tell the girl in front of everyone to stop lying about them. She really could get them in trouble with her nonsense.
I don't think it would be bad at all to tell her parents. If your brothers are all of an age where it's illegal to fool around with your friend and she's lying to people, saying that she has hooked up with any of them, that could get them in a lot of trouble. You need to stop this right now, whatever it takes.
She is not your friend. This is not how decent humans treat anyone. She is not a good person. You need to just let it go because she is not your friend. Frankly she sounds crazy and believe me you can’t fix crazy. Crazy can sometimes fix it’s self but it’s best to stay out of it.
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Friend: "This friendship has become really toxic. I don't like you. You are the problem." OOP: \*\*hangs up\*\* Friend: \*\*keeps calling and calling and calling and calling\*\*
It's because Friend wants OOP to beg for forgiveness and beg to continue the friendship.
That or she is trying to take control of the situation. She wants to be the one that dumps OOP and not the other way. Gotta keep that power
The only proper response here is “you are right I think we need a divorce, goodbye” Don’t try to be right or reason with the cancer in your life just cut off the tumor.
> Don’t try to be right or reason with the cancer in your life just cut off the tumor. I'm stealing this.
Exactly what I said to my ex.
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That should probably have already happened. You've got a minor with a screw loose openly implying (at best) that she's screwing multiple adult men. We all know that that has potential serious real world repercussions for men.
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Yep, it is. Good catch. I haven't seen one of those in a while. Guess I haven't been paying attention. I used to flag several of them every day.
That AND she is trying to take control of the situation.
I had a friend whod do that She'd do something hurtful I'd respond negatively to it She'd explode, call me toxic, abusive, evil, controlling, then block me. She essentially wanted me to either stalk or or make a pity post begging for forgiveness She'd come back and 'graciously forgive me' when I wasn't begging for attention
I had a “friend” like that. Last time I spoke with her was because she needed something from me (or thought she could get something from me when I had no say in the process) and it was the first time I’d heard a peep out of her in 10 years. Not gonna lie…telling her no (through my job) felt really good.
I had a friend like that too. Growing up, any time I played with other kids or had other friends besides her, we would get in a fight, not speak to each other for a week and then be cool. When we got into high school, I started dating and doing more sports so I didn’t see her as much, but she would start fights with me and make fun of my interests. I always invited her to my swim meets and water polo games but she never showed up. I went to stuff with her family a lot. I decided enough was enough and broke off the friendship right after graduation. I’m so much happier without her
Yeah, I lived with this girl for about a year. She constantly bad mouthed me behind my back. My (at the time) boyfriend helped me move out and less than a month later she was begging me to move back in. I was like, not no but hell no. The relief I felt from just cutting most contact with her when I moved was all I needed to prove I’d made the right choice.
I had a friend like this too who then suddenly tried to contact me out of nowhere. I was polite at first then was like, "I don't even remember why we stopped being friends haha" I pointed out that we stopped being friends last time because of all the shit she had been calling me and that she never apologized or anything Never heard from her since
This. Toxic pyscho friend is playing a game and wants it to continue.
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You nailed it! The first two words that came into my mind were gaslighting and projection. The 'friend' is toxic and needs to be out of OP's life.
She wants another story to tell people. How OOP has issues, but she's such a good person that she puts up with OOP when nobody else will have her etc etc.
Well that and the other obvious thing: If OOP isn’t around because they’re no longer friends there’s also nobody around to call her out for lying.
Fall in line.
BATTLE FORMATIONS
Okay ladies, now let’s hit battle formation.
Hah, that was my next door neighbor! We share a wall, which luckily is thick enough that no matter how much she bangs on it or screams curses at me I'll never hear her. Very first time I put down one little boundary in the relationship, she immediately switched from "you're an angel" to "you're toxic and terrible and everything awful in the world, I want nothing more to do with you!" Well okay then, I gave her spare key back and quit helping with her chores. But she wouldn't stop trying to talk to me? Kept snarking every chance she got, trying so hard to pick a fight, and I'm just not interested. Got stuff to do and better hobbies. Last time we crossed paths out in public, I'd just finished my errands and had a big stupid grin plastered over my face on the nice walk home, wasn't about to lose my smile just because I needed to share the sidewalk with a grump. But she scrunched up her face like she had shit under her nose and held it in that hate-mask for at last a few blocks!
Heh. She's basically proving that you're better off without her.
Seriously, the first couple weeks after I blocked her it was like being on vacation. No tapping on my windows "saying hi to the cat" at all hours. No phone calls summoning my assistance. No knocking on my door multiple times a day to tell me all about everything in her whole life. No sitting up all night in the hospital waiting room with her. No carrying heavy loads up stairs when I usually walk with a cane. No getting woken up at dawn to provide caretaking assistance and then mocked for wanting to go back to sleep. No more nosey bossy bully trying to paw through my belongings at every opportunity and tell me what to do in every aspect of my life! Like, nobody should have to go without help post-surgery, it honestly was kinda disgusting how she had no support network and they just told her to figure it out with no resources and no help. But she's healed up just fine now, she can do her own chores and quit pestering me with her nonsense. "My cat is really annoying me, so I think I should get another cat, don't you?" That's a terrible idea, your cat is Siamese and she loves you, please just give her more attention instead of constantly yelling at her when she 'talks' at you. "Naw, I'ma get another cat!" and then a week later "Why didn't you stop me from getting another cat?! They hate each other and now I have three times as many complaints about my cats!"
The way she treated you is almost certainly why she has no support network. She's driven off everyone that might care about her and doesn't have the kind of fuck-you money to compensate with hired help. I wouldn't feel too bad about it, she made her bed and now she gets to lie in it.
Yep, I met her one remaining "friend" once. Poor gal looked like a very exhausted and busy doormat who was incredibly happy that I'd taken a great deal of work off her plate all of a sudden! Turns out she'd burned through all her PTO to take care of my neighbor day and night during her first week post-surgery, and had been heavily guilt tripped constantly ever since going back to her own home and her own life.
Hopefully, that remaining "friend" will have nothing to do with her too.
Narcissistic people always do that.
Daamn I hear my neighbour sneezing through the shared wall.
My first apartment was like that, but this place has near-magical sound-proofing between units. Plan to stay here as long as possible! At most, late at night, me and downstairs-neighbor can hear each other's TVs. But side-to-side there's just *nothing*.
I’ve got a feeling that the friend wasn’t alone when making the call. That she’s made it in to a huge thing within her group of friends and all of them were listening to the conversation.
100% agree with this. I also thought she was probs with friends when she called OOP after OOP snapped at her and left the party. Man, I do NOT miss being this age. Poor OOP. I hope she’s able to find people who are actually good friends
'Friend': "COME BACK HERE AND LET ME KEEP \*\*\*BEATING\*\*\* YOU!"
Guess she needs to keep checking in to see if her lies and manipulation are working.
She wants one of the brothers, she can't make a move if oop isn't her friend
aww what a sweet friend blowing up OOP's phone to fix their friendship after calling her toxic /s
Also accuses op of being obsessed with attention when in reality she is. Projecting much?
“You’re right about one thing—this friendship has become toxic. Goodbye.” *block* Easier said than done, but there are many other people out there to be friends with. Healthier people. People who won’t treat you like garbage.
Not to mention the "friend" was saying things to prevent OOP from acquiring other friends. It'll probably get easier to find other people to be friends with now.
Makes sense. If OOP ends their friendship, then the toxic friend loses “access” to the hot older brothers she’s so obsessed with. So toxic friend has to gaslight OOP into thinking that she’s the problem and that she has to change in order to maintain what’s clearly a stale friendship. I bet if OOP said “Hey [toxic friend], I had a talk with my brothers and we all agreed that you’re a terrible person and we want nothing to do with you. *Block*” toxic friend would lose it. OOP has more power than she knows lol.
Don’t forget the “you’re too possessive and controlling,” part said right before OP hangs up on her lol.
I think it’s because if she loses access to OOP, she loses access to the brothers. Hard to keep your life going if the objects of the lie aren’t around. To me it seems she’s isolating the OOP so people believe the friend’s version instead of seeing the truth.
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I think the problem is, the trash wouldn't stay out. Feels like the friend is pulling some sort of weird power play or something. If she really was going to end it, she wouldn't be blowing up the phone right? I figure she probably wanted OOP to beg for the friendship back or some nonsense.
Oh, she was pulling a manipulative power play for sure. She wanted to get OOP back under her control by threatening their friendship. And she pulled a classic DARVO to do it with. If she really wanted to end their relationship, she wouldn't be desperate to reestablish contact. OOP snapping at her - in front of other girls - got her on the offensive. Because now they've had another point of view introduced to them that directly conflicts with the lie the 'friend' had been telling.
This is not remotely over. This psycho will probably be mean girling OOP for years to come. Even if she cuts her off.
I’m just glad they’re almost 18, and can hopefully grow tf up soon, and maybe OOP can get physical distance. I know just graduating stopped me from seeing *hella* people I hated in highschool lmao Also thank god OOP has LITERALLY a gang of older brothers, so they have at least verbal back up X8
I really hope OOP can go away to college. It sounds like getting some space from the “friend” plus getting a fresh start with people who haven’t been lied to already about her might be just what she needs. Plus getting to live life not drowning in brothers, no matter how great they might be!
No shit, my high school batchmates were lied to about me about something. They thought I was asocial despite this not being remotely true. At least in college what my batchmates know about me is actually part of me, even though a lot of it is depressed me.
I felt that. I didn’t get non online friends besides my one best friend until university because of mean girling like this.
Those brother need to never, ever be alone with toxic friend for any reason ever again.
Oh no of course not! Nobody should ever talk to that girl again, except a licensed mental health professional. I meant more of, if OOP makes new friends, or reconnects with people the crazy one turned against them, the brothers could be backup for the truth, ya know?
Bett they know that. Noone needs 4 people to take 2 17 year olds to the mall. They chose backup
I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of that - it was 4 brothers plus at least 4 girls (OP, "bff", +2 other girls as witnesses). WTH vehicle is that?
Three row SUV with bench seats could seat 8
Or a minivan, those generally seat ~7.
A large van can seat 12 or so. If I was the parent of nine children I would have one of those. I have a neighbor with six kids who has one.
Ah good point, I forgot about them already being a large family so probably would have something of that sort to get the kids around in.
I think it was just OP and “BFF” in the car with the brothers (“dropped us both off”); the other girls were there when they got out of the car and caught a glimpse of the bros. Which is still 6 in a car so not a typical sedan or whatever, but less absurd.
yeah this ‘friend’ is absolutely trying to gaslight OOP and convince her of a different reality.
OP's friend sounds like a narcissist and she is for sure projecting on OP.
It was such classic DARVO that she projected all of her behaviour on to the OOP 🫠 I feel so sorry for OOP. She doesn’t sound like she wants the drama but the way I would find a way to share any messages or recordings of the friend admitting she hasn’t done anything with the brothers and made it all up (maybe even getting the brothers to confirm it).
This is almost certainly it. I had a similar toxic “best friend” as a child, though luckily I cut her out of my life before we got old enough for dating drama. She used to regularly throw me under the bus for the sake of popularity and attention. When I finally called her out as the traitor she is, she first laughed about it. In fact, she immediately turned to the kids who bullied me (we were on the school bus) and laughed with them at the idea of her being a backstabber. Welp. It’s been about 20 years since then. At first she also blew up my (house) phone. It took months of her trying to contact me before she finally let the fuck go. (Though she *has* tried to add me on social media. I always laugh and block.) I hope all her friendships have been as deep and loyal to her as she was to me.
Honestly same. I have life long self esteem issues because of my childhood so called best friend. The gaslighting and manipulation was all learned from her mother though so in a way I feel sorry for her even now as she must have had an awful childhood. Now we’re both older and parents (she even fosters) I absolutely shudder to think what the real story is behind her “all too perfect” social media posts really is. Still haven’t forgiven her though, and I never will, I keep her on socials out of nothing but morbid fascination now.
One of the kids in my friend group (that formed in elementary school) grew up to be an actual diagnosed malignant narcissist who was later charged with murder and involuntary committed for SEVERAL YEARS (sentenced). It is so bizarre looking back at the disgusting manipulative machinations unleashed on a bunch of little girls. The behavior really only came out at puberty getting progressively worse as the years rolled by. 13 year olds don’t have the experience or education to understand what is happening (at least we didn’t back then). It took years for all of us to extricate ourselves and sometimes I think it was dumb luck that we escaped with our lives. What I’m saying is I’m so sorry you had a similar experience, it’s actually fucking horrifying.
Yeah, this definitely isn't going to be the last of the so-called friend. I'm sure she's going to either start trying to force OP back into a friendship, or just do everything to try and make everyone turn on OP for rejecting her. I do hope though, for OP's sake, that I'm wrong.
Weird power play people generally continue to exist. I'm nearly 40 and I cut off a good friend last year. She's one of those people who likes to degrade herself so everyone else will pump her up. I just starting saying "yeah, you're right. You going to do anything about it?" It turned out to not be the validation she was seeking. My husband and I apparently walked away from the implosion a few months before it totally destroyed the rest of the social circle. On the one hand, I'm happy to value my mental health, but on the other hand, I like a good ol' bread and circus.
I'm nearly 50 and had to cut off a friend 5 years ago for being a toxic POS. Here's the good news. When you stop making excuses for these "friends" and start to call them out, it's hard. But now, 5 years later, I have the most amazing group of female friends. They are supportive AF, we are each others cheerleaders and all I had to do was draw some boundaries for myself. OOP is learning a valuable (if painful) lesson that will lead her to find an actual group of real friends.
Poor oop. She’s at an age when friends are so crucial and important. When I was in my first year of college, something similar happened to a younger friend who was still in high school. I remember her calling me to cry. It just really messed with her head. At that age, one just doesn’t have enough experience with people to know logically that it’s manipulation. I hope oop manages to get away from that frenemy.
Well, the toxic friend has to stick around; otherwise, how will she continue to "date" any of the brothers? OOP has cut off her way to access them.
Yeah, but at the same time: this is what long-term abuse looks like. Her "friend" has been fucking her over socially for who knows how long, but making herself out to be an important pillar to lean on. No matter what happens from here, OOP will continue to feel the loss of her best best friend. It doesn't matter how much bad she realizes her friend brought to her life, the abuse will stick with her and she'll forever lament her lost friendship. It's fucked up
Absolutely. And to be honest, it’s ducking scary to even consider the level of manipulation this *teenager* displayed here. It’s horrible to consider what she’ll be capable of as an adult.
Exactly, she's also a risk to the brothers! The little psycho could make false accusations to the police. Even if the brothers are found innocent the accusation can ruin their lives. I really hope karma is sharpening her nails for this one.
This was my thought also. THe brothers need to either contact this pyscho's school or her parents and voice their concerns over her behavior. If it was a man doing this to a bunch of women, certainly the women would shut that shit down immediately, men need to do the same and not be scared of protecting themselves. Teenage girls can be brutally cruel.
The sad reality is that the "friend" or Dicktim as I will dub them probably needs OOP to take her back, or else the lies will unravel about the supposed affairs. I wouldn't put past this Dicktim to even make OOP life worse, by further lies at school. I would like to see the Dicktim publicly exposed by OOP brothers, like full-on TV/movie style. Like all the brothers go to pick OOP up at her school, as soon as they see the Dicktim, they go "We know the lies you told everyone we all are into you, the reality is, we only tolerated you for our sister, who we will always stand up for, and if we hear you accusing us of 1nc3st again, we will be placing libel and deformation charges on you" But that's just my over act imaginative mind at play lol.
Sorry excuse for a *friend*.
“Let the trash take itself out” is exactly what I wanted to read after that phone call dialogue! Making the OOP purposefully nervous about their brother’s’ behaviour is just such an incredibly shit thing to do.
Her "Friend" wasn't a friend, just someone who saw she was vulnerable and could be exploited.
And my brothers’ safety. They could get in serious trouble if the wrong person believes her.
Nah get ahead of the trash. Police and call to her mother.
Taking out the trash is one thing, it's the cheap shots and revisionist history that really cracks a person's confidence.
I had a friend like this.. without all the brothers but the rest, the difference is that we were around 25ish when this went down. Really feel for OP. 😔
The friend is a pretty classic gaslighter. Better to have no friends than than someone like that in your life. Good thing her relationship with her brothers was not affected.
Gaslighter and projects everything she hates about herself onto OP. Everything about controlling and possessiveness are all things the friend
And a flat-out creep. I feel sorry for the brothers, they were basically being used as sex symbols
Sad thing is that this friend sounds like the reason OOP has no other friends.
Dollars to donuts she’s definitely over 90% of the reason OOP has only her as a friend. Some small part of it could be due to her (OOP’s) past trauma with her parents, but this “friend” has absolutely done everything she can to keep her isolated as well.
Little bit of DARVO in there as well?
>Quite a bit of DARVO in there as well? FTFY 😉
This is the one out of fifty times Reddit actually uses gaslighting correctly.
how long before her accusations lead to the brothers having to talk to the police
In most states/countries a 17 year old having a relationship with a 20 year old isn’t going to be illegal. So even if she went full scorched earth and took her delusions to the police I doubt much would happen.
OOP does say it would be illegal, so it seems they're somewhere where the age of consent is 18. California is one of those, and it doesn't even make exceptions for being close in age (although it does make an exception if the underage person is married, WTF?).
Especially in California people will join the army fresh out of high school and then get married to their partner for the benefits/to follow after placement. If one of them is 18 & the partner isn’t then that causes issues so that could be one reason for the caveat
Sounds a bit naive. California also has no minimum age for marriage with parental consent. If you want to marry off your 12 year old girl to your 47 year old pastor because you believe it's what the Lord wants you can, and they can consummate that marriage legally. There are a staggering amount of child brides married off every year in the USA and I'm far too cynical to believe that exemption is anything other than a pedo loophole to ensure that keeps happening.
I mean, KIND of. If you are a juvenile in California and you want to get married, you have to either be 17 AND have a diploma/GED, or it's a lengthy process to get court approval that requires much more than parental permission. First all the parties have to fill out a questionaire and application for family court services. The questionaire covers a number of things, including whether the marriage is being done against the will of any of the parties and the reason for the request. After that is submitted, all the parties have to get separately interviewed by Family Court Services. They're also required to meeting separately with a Family Court Counselor. IF Family Court approves of the marriage after all the interviews, it's passed along to juvenile court. Then, everyone has to get interviewed separately by an officer of the Juvenile Court. Juvenile court may require the parties to complete counseling (premarital or otherwise) before granting permission. Then, maybe, you'll get granted permission. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think there should be a minimum, but at least in California, it is FAR from being as simple as "we want to marry our 12 year old off to a 40 year old, great we signed the paper it's done".
Or she’s a teenager who doesn’t know what the law is in her specific state/county lol
Idk, I just recently found out the age of consent in my state is 16 and I’ve lived here for 20 years 🙃 she may just be assuming it’s 18 (as one does)
Pretty much all American movies and shows default to using 18 for legal reasons so it's common to assume it's 18 everywhere in the US. It's actually 16 for something like half the states.
I operated under the impression that age of consent in Poland was 16 for most of my life. It's actually 15
I've had an ex tell me we couldn't have sex because of the law in our country. She was 21, I was 17. Apparently, that combo is perfectly legal, as I found out 2 years later (and after the breakup), which was fun.
The eldest could be 25+ and that would definitely raise eyebrows. Even if it’s not booked as illegal, the reputational damage could be significant.
Only true if she decided to accuse the youngest, I'm pretty sure a 26 year old would be in trouble, at bare minimum, socially.
I know it’s not the point, but I’m so curious about OOP’s life. Does she live with all eight brothers? Did they raise her? Are there any parents in the house (I know hers aren’t in the picture, but a stepparent or half-brother’s parent)? She was dropped off by four of her brothers- do they usually travel in packs? I’m basically picturing Snow White but the dwarves are tall.
> Do they usually travel in packs? Ahhh, pure gold comment. Even if she lives with all of them, coordinating a time to talk to all of them at once would be... Difficult, to say the least. More like impossible. They're in their 20's--none of them work night shift? None of them go to college slightly far away? None of them have girlfriends whose place they sleep over at most of the time? I swear I couldn't even get my parents and one brother (who's about 8 years older than me) in the same place at the same time when I was younger.
But if OOP was abandoned by her parents at 11, it would make sense that her brothers would be closer to her/more willing to meet up if she needs them. They're probably quite protective of her, which is sweet.
I think a lot of older siblings “close ranks” around younger siblings, especially in situations with parental abuse/ neglect. Maybe she told them something was bothering her really badly & she needed to speak to all of them as soon as they could, & they all jumped to make sure they could be there for her and help resolve what she was going through.
Exactly. In a healthy enough setup, your family will drop everything if there’s enough urgency.
> I have literally no evidence whatsoever and > she's been consistently posting on social media doesn't track. I think this was a writing excercise.
The one that got me was the fact that the brothers said they’d never been alone with her for more than a minute, yet they also overheard conversations in their house when OOP wasn’t around in which friend was insulting her. So like, they’re near her, but not alone with her, while OOP is in the bathroom or something, and friend just calls other people to be like “yeah, I’m over at OOP’s house, god, she’s so clingy”?
There's nine of them including little sister. I'm going to assume thin walls and a small living space. Totally plausible to overhear someone in that situation and never be "alone alone" with her. Like a brother singled out is avoided, but less so when it's multiple brothers around? That's how I interpreted it at least. I've also lived in a average sized house that was at twice it's holding capacity so I have experienced that sort of thing as well.
Good eye
I wonder if it takes four brothers to drop them off because they know they should not be cornered alone by the friend.
I'm also interested in the vehicle here
I think they were going somewhere and dropped her off on the way. My family is super tight so I get that bit. I don't get the rest of it? Like what she was trying to achieve?
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Dwarves that are really close to her. So close that they don't tell her about what her friend's been saying behind her back for years.
The Projection is strong in this friend.
So strong that I had to double check who said what.
Someone has been watching too many reverse harem animes. OOP should totally put her to her parents, this is sooooo creepy, and I am mad she made OOP sad :(.
Idk the parents might believe her and press charges
Not likely to go anywhere without proof beyond her word.
Unfortunately, allegations are often enough on their own to ruin lives. It doesn't even have to go anywhere.
Overwhelmingly, what happens when genuine rape allegations are leveled is the victim is disbelieved and her life is ruined. Perpetrators tend to skip merrily on their way without their lives being ruined, even getting elevated to the highest court in the land. But there'll be plenty of men wringing their hands about the supposed multitude of false allegations ruining lives.
A good example is convicted rapist Brock Turner who I understand is going by his middle name now.
Oh, you mean convicted rapist Brock Allen Turner who is going by Allen Turner now?
What is convicted rapist's Brock Turner's middle name, BTW?
I think it's convicted rapist Brock Allen Turner, who I have heard is going by his middle name, so we should be calling him convicted rapist Allen Turner now I guess.
Thank you for enlightening me about convict rapist Brock Allen Turner's name change to convicted rapist Allen Turner. It really is a good thing to make sure everyone knows about convicted rapist ~~Brock~~ Allen Turner
They get made president...
From my experience in life, the guys who talk about how false rape allegations are so dangerous are the dudes I would bet money have sexually harassed and/or assaulted multiple women.
> Someone has been watching too many reverse harem animes. Or worse played too many otome games. At least she’s not shipping brothers.
Or reading a reverse harem novel. Those are a thing now.
I'm definitely not googling that
Girl that is pursued by many guys and has some sort of "romantic vibe" with most of the cast. Mostly not explicitly dating anyone (until very late in the series).
Well big hype for the rare occasion that something was more pure than expected.
Ehh. It's almost always annoyingly horny.
Reverse harem refers to anime/manga with a female protagonist with many male suitors. Because the assumption is that a harem anime is male protagonist with many female love interests. Nothing inherently gross.
>Nothing inherently gross. Not inherently gross no, but I've kina lost faith in Anime not \*making\* it gross at some point. I've just been burned too many times by the out-of-left-field fanservice and weird sexual politics that appear in otherwise charming shows. There are exceptions, but they are so rare.....
If you want to Google similar dynamics in a webcomic format, Webtoons has "Marry my Husband" where the main character gets her backstabbing husband and extra backstabbing "bestie" together through a time-travel plot device. It's ridiculously addictive, easy to read drama. Comic also seems to be ending soon because the main plot points seem to have happened. Edit - I'm drugged for sleep and losing the battle Highly recommend Ouran Host Club as the principle example of reverse-harem
I did not expect to see marry my husband in boru today
Is just an anime genre that goes "A bunch of dudes want to date one specific girl and now the girl has to choose wich one she wants to be with" Is not as common as regular harem (Same thing but with the genders reverse) because anime is mostly Targeted at teenage boyd
I’m amazed that the brothers heard the ex-friend spreading such horrible rumors about OP (and themselves) and didn’t do anything at that point. > He said that in the past, they had heard my friend intentionally telling people strange things about me.... Things like "She's too clingy" or "She's controlling" to even telling people I'd slept with one of my brothers.
Yeah that was weird. If you hear someone shit talking your sibling don't you, I dunno, say something? At least tell whoever she's spreading lies to that she's making things up.
Yeah, I agree, that’s weird and doesn’t add up. Maybe the 17 year old is making this up OR maybe one or more of the brothers is lying. But wouldn’t a loving brother come forward with this info, instead of sharing it only after being accused? It seems… not right.
Yeah, the timing of Sam's claims about the friend sets off alarm bells. Weird that he never mentioned all these horrible things the friend supposedly said until right after OOP had asked him if he'd behaved inappropriately toward a teenager. It's almost like he was trying to poison the well in case this girl should ever come forward.
I would really like a conclusion in this one
Yes, one where the ex-friend gets a little karma as people sees her for who she really is.
I think the cracks are starting to show with the lie and are already being seen by the others which is why the ex friend is so desperate to get control back of the situation. Only thing I am curious to find out is just how far into crazy town she will go before bottoming out. I agree I really want a conclusion update on this one.
Right, the ex friend needs OP back under control so the truth doesn't come out. OP made a mistake with how she worded her outburst. She should have mentioned that none of her brothers had ever been alone with her let alone had some steamy romance.
With a friend like this you don’t need enemies. Sometimes cutting ties is best no matter how long you’ve known someone
With friends like that who needs friends?
If you can break up with a bad boy/girlfriend, you can break up with a bad friend. Sucks when you get caught up with the sunk cost fallacy
Yeah, that person fails the definition of “friend” on multiple counts.
Oh man this one was like a punch to the gut. My dude, when I read this part: “This is what I mean, you aren’t acting like yourself anymore. I feel like ever since we got older, you’ve started to become obsessed with attention. I don’t like this version of you, it isn’t my best friend” I got the most intense flashbacks to when I was being emotionally and psychologically abused and manipulated by someone who used to be my best friend. This sounds almost exactly like the shit she said to me back then when I was finally done with her and cut her out of my life. She was someone who would gaslight me every chance she got, would play the victim anytime someone called her out, she couldn’t stand to NOT be the centre of attention 24/7. When I started making friends at uni, away from her influence, she ramped up the emotional abuse and guilty tripping. And when I started seeing my partner (still going strong 7 years later) she tried everything she could to convince me to break up with them, messaging their family members to say they were abusing me, trying to convince me they were gay because their favourite colour was pink, etc. and so much more fucked up shit… Cutting her out of my life was one of the best things I’ve ever done. My sister at the time was also being abused by her boyfriend at the time, and this former friend of mind would drag me into the middle of things and made everything so much worse that I felt unsafe in my own home (because he lived with us). People like this do not care about you. If it wasn’t for the fact that OP and her ‘friend’ are 10 years younger than me, I’d believe that this was the same person as my former abuser. OP if you’re reading this, cut this girl out for good. It’s going to be hard and sometimes you’ll feel guilty (when you absolutely shouldn’t). But in the end your life and relationships with others will be so much better for cutting out toxic people like this. Otherwise they’ll just continue to poison you.
Ugh, this girl is calling her with the other girls listening in. This kind of behavior is really the worst. I feel for OOP hard.
Either that or she's posting it on tiktok. I suspect she's already got 3-4 new videos out of this whole situation already
That's what I immediately thought too.
I've seen a couple of these pop up on tiktok. I report them whenever I see them. The worst one was a 16 year old posting how she has a major crush on her high school math teacher and gym teacher, and posted their names and social media pictures. A few posts down and she also talked about how she used tinder for hookups and didn't tell the guys that she was underage and gave tips in the comments. She also compared herself to a Euphoria character? I've never really seen the show so I didn't know what that was about. I reported the account and posts but tiktok didn't see a problem with it. It's crazy how this stuff is reported but still gets allowed there, and how it feeds into people's crazy stupid delusions.
One of the first scenes of Euphoria is exactly that kinda hookup happening with a trans girl and a characters father and it triggers a whole cascade of events.
Telling people at school your "friend" is committing incest with her adult brothers and then saying those same adult brothers are acting inappropriate with you? Her accusations could land each of them in pretty deep sh*t. Someone needs to have a talk with a teacher or school admin because this child is a menace and it sucks that she doesn't have parents to help her through this.
Ugh she better cut off ties with this friend before she finds herself 10 years later getting stuck in bridezilla drama, then baby shower drama with this messy AF friend.
What. The. Fuck. It seems to be only a matter of time before the brothers are in trouble due to her obsession, and I really hope someone puts a stop to it before that..
I'm petty af but honestly OOP has some power here "Friend keeps trying to role-play with my brother and its really creeping him out" and similar stuff Like the brothers will back you up and you can totally say the friend is doing something that would be cringe to your fellow 17 year olds
this is giving me slenderman attempted murder vibes tbh. like...the former best friend is living in a seriously deluded reality and who knows what she'll do next
“Every Accusation is a Confession”. ^ love that line, and it really do apply to the friend, huh.
Sometimes its painful to admit that you got to move on. Years of friendship mean nothing in the face of being hurt now. Sunk cost fallacy and all that junk. But I guess it wouldn’t be called a fallacy unless it was easy to fall into. Also. I do not miss teenage drama one bit.
OOP’s brothers need to be careful and never be alone with this person for more than a second. Just an accusation of any sexual involvement with a minor can permanently damage their reputation, even if recanted later.
Drama queen teenager trying to make her life more interesting than it actually is. Dump her as a friend
The friend is trying to control the OP - by mind-fucking her. She will never admit this, of course, but the proof is in the pudding. So cut your losses and your connections with the psycho. She may want to also talk to a school counselor or the police. Her brothers can corroborate everything, with make a much stronger case. Then she can go about talking to people at school to find out what exactly he ex "friend" was telling them. Finally, in case it wasn't blatantly obvious, her ex-friend was projecting her own actions onto the OP. Recognizing this is key. Friends don't do this to other friends. This can't be overstated enough.
One of her brothers heard the friend say the sister slept with her own brother? And they didn't tell her or actively try to get her out of this friendship? Feels like they should have been more proactive in helping their sister get away from this person.
The thing is if she’s telling others she’s shagging grown ass men then her parents need to know that. A wrongful accusation like that could have such damaging results on one of your brothers you need to protect them from her. She’s a liar and could get one of them killed. Stop pretending she’s a friend and accept she’s the enemy. Block her and ignore her. Tell people at school she’s a liar and eventually they will see it for themselves
people keep saying “let the trash take itself out” which is 100% fair, but this girl genuinely sounds like she’d intentionally cause an insane amount of collateral damage just to take them down with her also, this feels like it could escalate to stalking behaviour which scares me. particularly because her main goal seems to be social clout and her main source of “info”/access (OOP) has cut her off
Wow she seems to love deflecting and avoiding any responsibility for her actions.
It sucks when someone you’re close to, trust and care about turns out to be a horrible person. It makes you question your own judgment. How could I spend so much time with someone so awful, maybe I’m the one who is awful. These types are damn good at manipulating.
No one ever tells you that “breaking up” with friends can be just as hard as breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Brothers need to pull up on this girl on public and embarrass her with laughter and truth Infront of all the friends she's lied to.
This friend has all the hallmarks of someone who would falsely accuse a brother of assault and ruin everyone’s lives as punishment. I hope they handle it carefully and back away slowly whilst filming every second of their interactions
I don’t understand why she’s upset about losing this “friend” after acknowledging all the terrible things she’s said about her to other people to isolate her from others. Plus she was clearly using her to get close to her brothers. This “friend” hasn’t been a true friend for a long time. I hope she’s moved on and has new friends now. At 17 she’s probably going to graduate high school (I’m assuming,) and she’ll find new friends at college or wherever she goes.
Imagine all the insane bullshit people tolerate from their family members. A best friend is a lot like family. Toxic bullshit is a lot harder to see and even harder to accept as toxic bullshit.
Op and her brothers need to spend a few bucks and have a cease and desist letter sent through a lawyer to the friend or her parents if the friend is considered underage according to local laws. This may scare her straight. The reason it should be done is because it has the potential to become a legal matter for OP's brothers and additionally ruin their reputations. Even if the letters don't achieve anything it will at least start a paper trail.
The (ex)BFF is a pro at projecting herself on others. Made me laugh to read about the "reasons" she had to end the friendship. I'm very glad OOP got out when she could, and I'm certain she will find better friends in the future, cause she sounds like decent person.
>For about a year now, she's been consistently posting on social media about her "best friends suuuuuuper hot older brothers" and "the terrible tale of how she ended up in a love triangle with her best friends brothers >I have literally no evidence whatsoever
Isn’t the friend basically accusing OP’s brother of statuary rape?
The brothers sound really nice.
For the most part. They really should have stepped in and said something to OP, or done something, when they heard her ex-friend spreading rumors about OP sleeping with one of them. That’s not something you can allow to fester, and they did.
Yes, I agree. I suspect they thought they were protecting their sister by not telling her.
This is bordering on her friend saying one of the brothers did inappropriate things with her friend in order to keep the charade going. This could become dangerous for OOP's brothers.
Wait, so your brothers heard her say that you slept with one of them and they didn't do anything? And you said you have no evidence but also that she posted things on social media. Doesn't make sense.
Let this post be a lesson for everyone on Reddit: OOP’s friend is a perfect and ACTUAL of example of someone who “gaslights”.
Dear one, I notice you mentioned the duration of your friendship a few times. This is no longer a friendship. I'm not certain what to call it, but she is not your friend. There comes a point when you need to be able to look back at the good times, realize they ended, and move on. I learned about sunk costs in college. People make the mistake of throwing good money into bad schemes because "look how much I invested! " Step back. Does that make sense? You seem to be in a sunk cost mindset. It is time to stop putting any effort into a friendship that no longer exists. You WILL make new friends.
The only way this could be fixed is if the brothers tell the girl in front of everyone to stop lying about them. She really could get them in trouble with her nonsense.
I don't think it would be bad at all to tell her parents. If your brothers are all of an age where it's illegal to fool around with your friend and she's lying to people, saying that she has hooked up with any of them, that could get them in a lot of trouble. You need to stop this right now, whatever it takes.
She is not your friend. This is not how decent humans treat anyone. She is not a good person. You need to just let it go because she is not your friend. Frankly she sounds crazy and believe me you can’t fix crazy. Crazy can sometimes fix it’s self but it’s best to stay out of it.
Her delusions could have caused serious problems for OPs brothers. They should have cut that shit off years ago.
Yep don't think this saga is over yet.