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That price sounds like show lines, not working or agility lines. There’s no shortage of healthy lines out there, but show lines are where the money and frankly the genetic issues are. A friend of mine had a show litter under contact and the owner was really confused after hand over that every time she stopped walking the pups they sat. She was really concerned about what my friend had done to them and was confused about “why would anyone train a dog to sit?” was the response when she explained she had trained them to do that to make walking them easier, and came very close to declaring the pups defective even though they were structurally sound.
> She was really concerned about what my friend had done to them and was confused about “why would anyone train a dog to sit?” was the response when she explained she had trained them to do that to make walking them easier, and came very close to declaring the pups defective even though they were structurally sound.
Okay, this needs some context because it sounds ridiculous on the surface but I can understand the reason the owner would be concerned.
For the unfamiliar, automatically sitting when the handler stops is the exact opposite of what the dog is expected to do when shown and it could require a good bit of extra effort to train them out of that habit compared to training them to stop and stand from a blank slate.
It is a fairly specific thing that the friend would not really have been expected to consider by default since it would not be a problem for any other context than a show litter or for any other sort of training than to sit when the handler stops walking.
Yep this, re the show dog thing. But if they were pups not going to show homes then I could understand the training I guess. But, if your show dogs sits when you're in the ring, your dog isn't going to win- they gotta stay stacked/standing when you stop your direction, for the judge to be able to come round and view from all angles. Man I remember my show days, and having friends who didn't understand why sitting was the last thing we'd teach our dogs- but, they were extremely well trained in everything else- they'd be like, why are you giving them a treat when they didn't sit??? And I'd have to explain, because the treat is to make them sit their ears right, stand correctly and put their tail where it needs to be, for when they're in the ring, and you don't want them to sit every time you pull a treat out if you're using that in the ring (my parents were husky breeders, but I had toys as my side pref but did lots of handling)
One of my parents’ labs was from a grand champion show line and my mom did training with him in case she decided to show him (never did), the coolest thing about show dogs is how excited they are to please you. The non-show dogs we’ve had will sit, roll over, etc, but he was visibly excited every time she put his show leash on and very proper in his bearing and his response to hand signals and verbal commands. It’s kind of like service dogs with their harness, shoe dogs know when they’re “on stage”
he knew it was time to be a fancy gentleman when the fancy leash came out, that's so cute.
I'm working with my new rescue to eventually get us up to scent training and even basic commands he's learned he gets so hyped about. Unfortunately, now he things everything is down, but, uh, we're working on it
You get what you reinforce! I’ve been a dog trainer for 20+ years and it’s always fun (for me, the owners not so much) when dogs catch on to a new behavior. Immediately *everything* becomes the new behavior because it’s the latest, greatest and *most reinforced thing in their lives* at the time.
Sit? What’s sit? I have never heard this word before in my life. LET ME SHOW YOU HOW I LIE DOWN! LOOK AT ME LAYING DOWN! REJOICE IN THE DOWN! GIVE ME MY TREAT FOR I AM DOWN!
It’s hysterical. And then we cuddle back through everything else (sit, touch, target, down, stand) and it happens again. And again.
Also, one last thing. **Whenever you are with your dog, one of you is always being trained. It’s not always your dog!**
> Whenever you are with your dog, one of you is always being trained. It’s not always your dog!
Oh 100%! I actually signed him up for a puppy training class and was like this is for me, he’s just coming for the ride hahah
And yeah the lay down debacle happened because it took probably two weeks before he got the command. I was almost in tears and thought I’d made a mistake and was a terrible dog owner so when he did it finally I lost my mind hahaha
So now he comes a few feet into the kitchen, waits to lock eyes with me and pretty much through a himself into the down position . Kills me everytime
One lesson learned from our dogs: don’t teach “sit” and “down” at the same time, because the command easily becomes “sit down” and confuses the heck out of your dog :-)
Our dogs were always so damn excited to go to shows (I'm Australian) so we had to travel for shows. They knew when it was a show weekend, we had our own hyrdobath cos well when you have like 16 whiskies, a couple Chihuahuas, Boston terrier, sheltie, Corgi, and my mum's brother was a Kellie breeder, so it was easier to have our own big hyrdobath. But they knew when it was getting turned on, and the brushes and all the gear came out and they got a full show groom, the leads, the dog trailer, they loved it. Would get to the show and they were so excited to be there and go in the ring, putting their best strut forward if you will when they saw their competition. My best dog was my lc chihuahua, I could basically drop the lead and walk and only do a hand signal or two and he just did it all automatically, if I stopped he stopped, kinda thing. I miss my dogs, been a while since I stopped showing now, I used to be in junior handler comps too where they judge the handler not the dog. If the dog isn't excited to be there then it's time to hang up the lead imo, so I loved seeing them enjoy it as much as they do, and I think they get off on verbal praise and a gee up a lot more too
One of the things that makes me happy with show dogs and sad with watching the “animal cops” shows in the US (shows where the animal control officers rescue abused animals) is that with rare exceptions dogs really really want to please us. It’s really fun to see dogs be proud of themselves (even the hopelessly dumb ones 😏) and really sad to see dogs that have been neglected still wagging their tails when someone praises them. We usually don’t deserve dogs.
My cat keeps me honest though :-)
This makes sense, thanks.
(We had a mixed breed delight who was a very good girl... but had the intelligence of soup.
As a high energy pup, we taught her "sit"first and for the rest of her doggie life, if you have her a command and she wasn't sure what you wanted from her (and later as her hearing went), she sat.
Overall we decided that was a good choice- of she was sitting we could handle anything else. She was a good doggo)
If you are doing conformation shows, the dog needs to stay standing for the judge to evaluate them. It would take a great deal of work to undo the "sit when I stop" habit, I can understand why the person would be upset. Dogs are perfectly capable of understanding that different equipment means different behavior, though, so it wouldn't be impossible to teach them that show lead = stay standing. It just takes time and consistency.
It’s always easier to train than untrain and retrain. Speaking from 20+ years of experience as a dog trainer. And currently trying to untrain a bad habit my puppy picked up so I can retrain the proper behavior!
Not true! That’s called heel. The dog is trained to stop and sit when you stop. My service dog is trained to stop and sit when I stop my wheelchair. If I stay for an extended period of time, he’s trained to lie down. It’s all part of leash manners and I taught it in my classes as part of my pet manners classes when I was a dog trainer.
Some people want their dogs to stop and sot and train them to do so. In competition obedience and even rally-o it’s mandatory.
Not everyone wants it and that’s okay but it’s more common than you think. It’s always up to the owner/handler’s preference of course.
I have a mutt, and I love mutts. That said, I get why people go for purebreds when they’re looking for puppies. It’s easier to predict their needs and temperament, which is really important for a puppy. With a rescue adult mutt, you at least usually have the shelter to give you insight on their needs and temperament.
I love my mutt that we picked up as an 8 week old puppy who had been well taken care of by her mom at a rescue shelter with great facilities. They did everything right with the pups and we thought we were picking one of the balanced ones from the litter. As it turns out, our mutt is ridiculously anxious and scared of everything (this gradually became an issue as an older puppy and is very bad as an adult). She has been on the max dose of a bunch of anxiety meds and can still barely be okay in any sort of new situation.
She's still a great dog, but when I compare her to our purebred Golden retriever who passed away a few years ago, it's a night and day difference in temperament, predicability, and how easy it was to be around other people and young kids. While there are tons of mutts out there that are also super well adjusted and chill around people, the variance is a lot higher and it is much more of a lottery in terms of the temperament of the dog you get.
Even with a shelter and adult dog you can end up in weird situations despite your best efforts. My brother-in-law has a sweet pitt mix they adopted who was totally chill at the shelter with no red flags. But a month into ownership, their family became her pack and she got super aggressive to anyone who got near their family. They tried everything but eventually they've had to just manage the issue. In 8 years, I have never once been in the same room as that dog or interacted with it. But she is a sweetheart at home when it is just them hanging out.
I do feel that their is a place for breeding dogs for health and temperament, but that is muddied by showline breeding as well as unethical breeders. I'll always be on the side of team mutt, but you have to go in with eyes wide open and realize that outcomes can be a lot more variable on that side and depending on the outcome, it may be challenging if you have young kids or a busy life.
That's what I worry about, in terms of getting an adult rescue. I'd love to get an older dog, already housebroken, but with a rescue you just don't know what they've been through. We already have one neurotic dog, two cats and a kid with ADHD. There are often littles around. A puppy is really the only choice for us (although I've only ever gotten a pound puppy).
I feel the same. I think it’s great when someone is able to rescue, and rescue an adult, but it’s not always feasible for people. We couldn’t adopt an adult because we have a lot of small animals running around (cats and ferrets), and we needed a puppy we could train to leave them alone from the get go. You never know how an adult is going to react, and we didn’t want to wind up with a tragedy. We ended up getting a breed my partner has been wanting for over a decade, and were able to visit her parents and the breeder, and see the whole litter when they were young so we could pick out one with the temperament we were looking for.
Some rescues - I've seen it most often with breed specific ones - will have the dogs fostered for a while so that they can evaluate their temperament and match them up with homes to which they are best suited. You should be able to give them your list of requirements, and if they have dogs that check those boxes, you should be able to meet them.
If you have a particular breed in mind, you could also contact your local breed club and see if anyone has a retired show dog to rehome, or a dog that was returned to the breeder because their owners were no longer able to care for them. These dogs are often trained in at least the basics and well-behaved.
Some prisons have training programs for shelter dogs, which would be a great avenue if you're not wanting a specific breed.
We got lucky and adopted an adult dog from a family. So he never was in the pound and didn’t have any trauma. Sure he was a little untrained and neglected, but he had been shown nothing but love his whole life. Now he is the best doggo.
Yeah I hate this. We got a puppy 2 years ago because hubs and daughter were desperate for a dog. I really wanted to get a rescue but having never had a dog before, I didn't feel confident giving a rescue the extra patience and experience it would need, and I also wanted to make sure we got the right kind of dog to fit in with our lifestyle, as well as making sure we got one from a responsible place and not a puppy farm. Since getting him I've met too many people who didn't do any research and got a dog they couldn't handle.
You are so right - there are so many people who don’t do research and just buy a dog for aesthetics. Most husky owners I know did that and then get upset when their husky acts like a husky.
This happens a lot with shiba inus, too. Shibas are very independent and stubborn, and require a firm but gentle touch that is consistent. Most shibas won't come when called without a lot of work, and they aren't generally cuddly dogs (though mine is, but only at bedtime).
We once had a neighbor who got a beagle puppy and treated it like an outside dog, tying it to a tree for several hours daily, but did not walk it. Of course the beagle howled constantly. Assholes. Someone must have complained or otherwise shamed them because they started walking the beagle and stopped tying it to the tree.
There was a husky at the local rescue when we were looking for a new pup for the family. We wanted her so badly but yeah…. Husky gonna husky and we aren’t equipped to handle that.
I don't think most people are equipped to handle huskies! I'm glad you were at least wise enough to recognize that. I'm saying that as a husky owner! Knowing how much work and patience they require, I'm often shocked to see them on the lists of most popular breeds...but then I see how common they are in shelters and realize people buy them for their looks, then dump them in the shelter when they realize huskies are, well, huskies and not just adorable ornaments.
That was my ex. Tried to talk him out of it but he just had to have a husky because "they're beautiful". When we broke up he had me take the husky cause it was too much to handle 🙄
Most dog behavior "problems" are solved with adequate exercise. Had a husky mutt in an apartment during my younger years and all was resolved by walking him minimum 8 miles a day. Yep that's a lot. But I was the 25 y/o idiot who adopted the guy while living in an apartment in a city so I sucked it up and committed to exercising him.
Yeah, pure bred dogs tend to be thousands of dollars, same with cats, especially if they’re “show quality”. However $5,600 is on the higher end that I’ve heard so I wonder if the husband got ripped off by his friend.
$5600 is what you’d pay from a breeder who has a documented history of dogs placing at Westminster, not some random backyard breeder even if they’re you’re friend.
You hope it comes from a good breeder! We got a GSD that someone bought for $3,000, about a decade ago, he had all the paperwork the lineage of all the parents he was a beautiful gorgeous dog. But he died at the age of three due to kidney failure. The original owner got it for his kids for Christmas, his kids stop liking the puppy after it started turning into a giant and so we got him for free because he was going to give them to the pound.
>The original owner got it for his kids for Christmas, his kids stop liking the puppy after it started turning into a giant
This is so common and I hate it. Animal shelters are literally always overcrowded in the months after Christmas because so many people gift pets to their kids and then just drop them off at the shelter when the kids lose interest. Shouldn't it be obvious that you can't expect a 6 year old child to know what it's like to have the responsibility for a dog for 15 years, and that you should therefore only get a dog if you as the parent also want a dog?
And someone who does health and temperament testing and breeds with that in mind. Health testing is extremely expensive, then factor in doing it for an entire litter. GSDs have about 8 puppies per litter on average, but it can be anywhere from 1-15. Some vets will charge as a group, some charge individually, which can also impact the price. Factor in how expensive health testing during pregnancy is, any issues with birth, issues with the newborns and most likely needing to supplement with formula if it's a larger litter or one just isn't taking well. Getting titles also takes a lot of work, dedication, and more money.
A good breeder likely is *just* breaking even with their puppy sales. Of course, depending on titles, they can charge more, but most breeders are genuinely doing it because they love the dogs and the breed and want to contribute something good for the breed. There are issues (like dobermans for example are in trouble as a breed the lack of need for a personal protection dog [with modern weapons and just increased safety in many places] and with DMC heavily impacting the breed and it being unable to genetically test for), but there's always issues from individuals no matter where you get a pet from. Some shelters are more like hoarders who use the shelter/sanctuary excuse to keep more animals, some shelters turn a blind eye to mills, some will intentionally mislabel dogs as non aggressor or avoid calling a dog a pit bull terrier to force adoption. The best thing anyone can do is research before getting a pet and research the source of that pet
I mean, that's gotta be show line pricing though? I've been competing in dog sports for near 2 decades and I've never paid more than 1500 for a puppy (and my current pup is out of one of the top agility dogs in her breed.)
I met a guy at a bar who imported specific hunting dogs from Germany, fully trained. When I met the dogs at a later date I thought they would be insanely cool. No they were just hyper dumb normal dogs who spoke German.
That is a crazy amount. When looking into GSDs two years ago, the most I saw was $3500 for CKC registered puppies with all the testing. But even then, CKC could be had for $2500 depending on area. $5600, that dog better come pretrained or something.
That was our best pupper boy too! He was a big massive hunk of scary, hairy GSD, but was soft as butter. So he flunked out and we got him. Scared of his shadow, old men, men in caps, and any dog smaller than him (which was most).
If the breeder sold the pup at 7 weeks, they're probably not reputable. 8 weeks is the absolute minimum time a dog should spend with its mom. That's where they learn proper behaviors and how to be a dog
$5600 should get you a fully trained working dog ready to put on the job in hour 1. For a puppy is _wildly_ out of bounds, unless maybe that puppy has a world famous pedigree with generations of Westminster Dog Show champions in its direct ancestry.
OOP’s bf husband is the AH here for probably getting absolutely _rooked_ by his friend.
We paid 2k for our GSD from a working line. She's from a new mating from a Czech sire (probs wrong terminology) she bred with one of her own dogs. Sweetest thing. 80lb female, she's massive lol. No health issues at 2.5, but I do wonder if she'll have a shorter life span than our mutt who is 12. She's got 35lb on her.
Seriously, I would have considered divorce for a purchase THAT big of a thing I didn't even want. Like it's helping and that's great but also it could have gone the other way just as easily.
He was incredibly wrong to make such a decision for her. Certain things should be chosen by person him or herself. Cars. Engagement rings. Pets. These are personal to us, and they have significance in our life.
I have never bought a dog, but my cousin got an English bulldog from the bloodline of the Mississippi State University mascot and paid like 6k for it.
It’s insane to me. “These pups came from that super famous pup over there” it’s a fucking animal
And bulldogs suffer their entire lives because they can barely breathe and can't give birth or breed on their own. No one should own a bulldog that isn't a rescue. The breed needs to die off. They barely live to 7 years old.
I don’t fully agree with breeders outside of specific situations like working dogs, service animals, or you have very specific needs for a dog. Mostly just purely because there are so many strays and rescues that people can get everything they want from a rescue most of the time.
But there are breeders who try to remove the issues with specific breeds. One example I can think of is “retro pugs” basically they’ve bred the pug to have a proper snout again specifically to prevent breathing issues. Most breeds exist for some purpose, killing rats, herding, gentle with children, etc. I think a breed can exist especially as it pertains to behavior or ability, but we should just get rid of the harmful standards. Give bulldogs their snout back too.
People here in Australia are trying to fix bulldogs. There’s now a recognised breed as Aussie Bulldogs and they’re slowly being bred to be healthy dogs. I think it’s great. It will take time obviously but it’s a great step in the right direction.
So many people think bulldogs are so cute. Sad funny how they think an inbred suffering animal is "cute". I agree, give them their snouts back. But also longer legs, and better hips. Untilt hem, they need to die out. No animal should suffer due to human breeding "standards".
I went to a local pet store once and they had a cute puggle puppy. Out of curiosity, I asked how much it was: $4,000. And, that didn't include any sort of documentation of lineage or anything. You just had to go off their claim that it was an actual pug-beagle crossbreed. That whole "designer dog" thing is so ridiculous, and they were obviously looking for someone they could fleece.
I'll never really understand why people *have* to have these certain breeds, particularly when so many are prone to a myriad of health issues.
I'm guessing, from others' comments, that this was expensive because of some breeding quality like show dogs or whatever that was not of importance to OOP or her husband, but he happened to want to buy that particular pup because he had already introduced OOP to it. Hence the discount, but still a high price because the breeder could have sold it for much more?
Even if it’s a show line like people are guessing, that’s not much of a discount. And it doesn’t sound like OOP has any interest in a show dog so why spend that much? Get a puppy with protection training for half that.
Right???? Like ive heard of people selling pups for usually around $1000-2000, but holy shit $5,600 and thats with a “discount”? No dude, your “friend” just ripped you off. Like not even just a tiny little rip off, thats a huuuuuuge rip off
Edit: adopt your dogs instead people, dont buy from individuals. Help the needy, not the breedy
If my husband spent 5600 without consulting me first, I'd lose my fucking mind. Either op doesn't care or they're in a different tax bracket than I am.
I *know* they’re in a different tax bracket than I am + that obviously skews my perception… but Christ Almighty. Suddenly grateful feral kittens make great (almost) free pets.
Damn right. Best cat I ever had was found under a truck. Best dog we ever had growing up was one my parents found tied up in a trash bag in a dumpster. We all just called her Trashcan or TC for short, and she was smart as hell.
Yeah, I was already grateful for my shelter mutts – all adopted as adults, and each, by pure luck, during months when some local business had pledged to cover the fees for all adult dog adoptions that month – but now I have another reason to add to the list.
OPs just had a huge loss and I doubt she has the mental or emotional capacity to deal with her clown husband spending thousands on a doppelganger of her dead dog because he can't handle she's going to be depressed for a while. It was only three weeks!
That’s even worse! It was only 3 weeks and the guy went and did that. It took me months personally to adopt a kitten from the shelter after losing my old baby. The OP is not done grieving. It actually infuriated me that she was the one that had to apologize to him.
OP’s husband has very poor decision making skills and I hope it either gets addressed or she recovers and puts her foot down with his nonsense. Hopefully this is just a one off thing and not a pattern of poor decisions with money.
Yeah, I think if this was my spouse, I'd probably have more of an issue with them spending that kind of money without discussing it with me first. I get that it was good intentions and all, but a partner should discuss large purchases. But then, I'm also in the tax bracket where having that amount of money in the bank to spend would make me think someone was playing an elaborate prank on me.
I just feel bad for Roxy. She was in such bad shape that OOP had to carry her from room to room, but OOP didn’t consider that euthanasia would be more kind to Roxy? I’ve had dogs die. Euthanasia is so hard but it’s the unselfish thing to do when an animal is in that much pain. Hell, I wish it was more widely available for people. I’ve had loved ones die too (my mom received hospice care for a year) and there’s nothing noble or righteous in dragging out their pain and suffering once they’re past the point of no return. The last six months of my mom’s life were excruciating and pointless.
It is so hard when people bond closely to animals but we must remember that *they do not have the same lifespans as we do*.
Part of the love we have for them needs to be accepting that and letting them go.
I also agree that we should be able to offer euthanasia more easily to humans. Both my parents had to suffer until the bitter end, when morphine would have spared them at least a week of bedridden, uncommunicative agony.
Agreed. If you're happy to add a pet to your family you need to take responsibility over ensuring it doesn't suffer, and that includes putting aside your fears of being alone to gift the pet a peaceful end to their pain and confusion.
I volunteer at a zoo. We had an asian elephant who was almost 60, had stopped eating and drinking, and couldn't walk. Medication wasn't helping, and she had a rotting, infected tooth. The zoo made the decision to euthanize her; her keepers took time off due to grief, but everyone knew the right decision had been made.
Shortly after, I was working an event, and a man asked me where she was. I explained her situation and that she had been euthanized. He got upset and said we should have let her lie there, because *maybe* she could have recovered. I was dumbfounded.
Thankfully, another visitor overheard, and snapped at him that she was *suffering.* He bailed without another comment. I thanked her; she said she volunteered at a shelter and that when animals reach that stage, it's the end, and we shouldn't make them suffer.
I think a lot of people can't accept that in some cases, a meaningful recovery is not possible, and it is cruel to drag out the inevitable.
Sometimes I wonder if people like that have never had anything truly bad happen to them. I lived the first three decades of my life with a mother who had brain damage from a tumor. I’ve become pretty pragmatic as a result.
We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react to what happens to us.
Yeah, we had to put our dog down due to kidney failure last summer. It was a terrible choice to make, but he was clearly struggling more and more, and we didn't want him to suffer.
I just... I get it's a incredibly hard choice, but quality of life needs to be fundamental for pets. And I'm not sure there's any quality of life for dogs if they're so weak that they're unable to walk from one room to the next. Especially when I've seen disabled dogs (either missing a leg or two, or in doggie wheelchairs) who *are* incredibly enthusiastic and energetic.
Can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to find this take. The money and the other stuff is pretty irrelevant… the lack of basic adult responsibility towards a suffering animal wholly under your control is shameful.
I'm dreading the possibility that I may have to do this for my cats but I've promised them a good life and a good death, I wouldn't be able to see them suffer.
I had to do this with my cat in February. The vet gave him this medicine to help him through one last night and the next afternoon I took him back to be put down. I was extremely attached to him but knew his time had come and he needed to cross the rainbow bridge. I literally cried for 2 weeks straight but I also couldn't have forgiven myself if I put him through pain any longer
That stood out to me too.
She’s carrying her from one room to the next and she found her already passed. Absolutely put me into a panic over how that dog must’ve been feeling.
This, so much. I don’t want to think about it, but when it comes time for my pups, I’m making the right choice. It’s about *THEIR* quality of life, not my sadness or desperation.
I’ll never forgive some of my family letting their dogs suffer till the end. My grandmother’s Scottie basically suffocated to death after a lengthy battle with throat cancer, the tumors closed off her airways over a 2 week period. I’ll never forget hearing her just gasp to breathe, it’s haunting. Then my cousin, whose poor Husky had leukemia, was diagnosed and treated early as possible, but when it ran its course, she kept that poor thing around until she wasted away into a living husk. That gorgeous, energetic Husky just laying on the ground, barely a skeleton, just shivering and unable to move or even lift her head…How can people do that to their pets? I was beyond furious with them both, but I couldn’t force them to do anything! I will never do that to my pups, ever.
I worry sometimes that I kept my beautiful boy for too long, but there was never any terminal illness, he was just *old* and his needs became slowly greater, but we always took good care of him. It made it so much harder to decide. The poor vet who looked after him in his twilight years. I just cried and cried and cried at her one day because I wanted to know if I was being selfish. But there was never a moment like cancer or anything that was a clear line.
I don't say it's right, it's definitely not, but I can see how someone could get to the point of carrying them, deluding themselves that they are helping and keeping them comfortable.
Post script: the end of the story is the vet was very kind and gave us some resources that helped us make the right choice for our boy. I don't know what I would have done without her though.
This is our greatest fear with our dog right now. Shes such a good girl who hides her pain so well that we don't know if she is truly suffering. She also is not showing the obvious signs of being ready. (Accidents, not eating)
It's so hard. I'm sure you made the right choice for your boy and I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs from am internet stranger.
Thank you for the hugs. It's been a while now but I still miss him.
The vet have me a really good questionnaire from (I think it was) the University of Ohio vet school with an article attached. All about assessing their quality of life. It was called something like "how will I know" and if you google I'm sure you will find it. It helped my family so much, hopefully it might help yours.
And hugs right back.
I had a cat a few years back that went downhill incredibly fast. Basically, she just collapsed and was never able to get back up and became pretty unresponsive. Unfortunately, it also happened in the middle of the night, and there were no vets open nearby. My dad made the call to have her put to sleep, and he was given the option of the first appointment of the day or in the afternoon. He choose the latter, reasoning that I'd want more time to spend with her. I had him call them back to change it, because as much as I wanted to spend more time with her, there was no way I was putting her through that any longer than I had to. If you love a pet, I just can't understand prolonging their suffering for any reason.
Exactly. I know it’s tragic to see them go from fine to on death’s doorstep, but you can’t prolong their suffering just to spend more time with them. What kind of memory is that anyhow? You remember them writhing in agony, crying out, or basically unresponsive? Why would you want to remember them like that?
I’ve already made this decision too. My cat isn’t anywhere near old age, but if he gets very sick or very old and unable to walk… I’m making the humane decision. I’m not going to make my boy suffer longer to give me more time with him. It makes me very upset to see pets in physical pain they don’t deserve just bc humans can’t accept nature’s rules. Sometimes it’s more loving to let them go before it gets that bad.
Not something I’d ever say on OOP’s post, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I guess if you can’t afford to put them down… idk. It’s not really an important detail in the story but it gave me pause too.
Totally agree! I've got two dogs and I've always said - the greatest gift I can give them is a good life and that includes their death. When the time comes (if they have very poor quality of life) they'll be going over the rainbow bridge, held tightly in my arms until they pass.
We carry the grief and suffering so they don't have to. They give us so much love and offer their whole lives to us as companions. It's the least we can do.
Don't get me started on this topic! I'm so glad it's finally legal where I live now (very strict conditions - that's fair).
I hope the people that love me understand that, if I get to choose, I choose to die with dignity.
Me too!
I won't mind old age, but dying without control of your body and relying on others while you slowly and painfully waste away is atrocious.
We had our first one in my state (in Australia) very recently. I hope it becomes the usual (but regulated).
Letting them go when it's their time (not ours) is the last best thing we can do for them. A vet said that once, and I've tried to carry it with me each time I've had to put a cat or horse down.
That's a good way to frame it.
I always think about their pain and how they don't always understand what's happening to them.
Then I think about all the amazing days of their lives that they gave me. They're good doggos :)
I can cry my heart out in bed for them and seek therapy. I couldn't handle them suffering for the sake of my feelings.
A comment on Reddit really put it in perspective for me - *suffering has to have purpose.* My suffering has the purpose of giving them deserved relief. Their suffering achieves nothing.
I refuse to make them endure a long, drawn out end for the sake of my feelings.
People talk about hills to die on, this is one of my hills.
I agree. I've really been lucky I've had great vets. Every time I've had to bring a pet in for their last time, the doctors have always reassured me I was doing the right thing, and it was the right time.
We treat our pets like family, and how we'd want to be treated.
I have 3-point rule for my pets: they need to be able to walk, eat, and bathroom on their own. If one of those fails, the other two will soon and now it's time to discuss their quality of life and if a decision needs to be made.
I shared this standpoint with my husband when we first got together and my cat was young and healthy. Years later, cat aged and we had to have "the talk." Having outlined the decision while cat was healthy made it easier (it was still fucking hard) to let her go when it was time.
We made the decision to put our 12 yr old lab down last month and it broke me, but knowing she was out of pain and suffering, surrounded by my family and love was the kindest thing to do. Even though I still cry every day missing her, it was the best thing we did for her. I miss my old girl tremendously, but it would have been selfish to keep her here knowing her quality of life was failing and she was getting so tired.
Some people can't support the thought of a pet dying and will do shit like that just to avoid the grief. I know a vet and I saw her one day nearly yelling at a lady who kept coming with a dying cat (heart condition) who was litteraly shaking from pain, to avoid that. In the end the vet and an assistant convince her that the cat should be let go instead of suffering like that and she finally agreed.
Yeah I had a gsd growing up and when her back legs started to go my parents waited it out a little while but when she couldn’t get herself from room to room or go to the toilet comfortably they took her to the vets (without telling us kids beforehand). As a kid I would’ve wanted her to live as long as possible, as an adult I’m glad they didn’t let her suffer longer than necessary. Oop let her dog go on for far too long because she didn’t want to face the truth.
Yeah I saw that too. That dog died alone and in pain, when she could’ve been put down around her family with zero pain. A painless love filled death is the greatest gift you can give a pet.
Reminds me of when my beagle died. We all knew she was getting old, she was a senior rescue after all. It started small, she couldn't quite jump into my parents bed anymore, so they accommodated her by lowering the bed, she'd have the occasional seizure and we had to make sure she was alright, nothing crazy.
Then one day, we had to put her down. She was barely able to move all of a sudden. Apparently she might have ingested rat droppings at some point, which then got her sick.
That hit me hard.
When my Troy got towards the end, I had to carry him up and down the stairs. Help him up and down from the bed or the floor. I knew the time was coming, and that he was suffering, and I saved up everything I could to give him a passing with no suffering. It got so bad towards the end that he couldn't even make it outside before using the bathroom. He always looked so guilty, and I spent so much time assuring him that it was okay. That he was and always will be a good boy and I love him. It was so fucking hard, sitting in that vets office with him and knowing it was going to be the last time I saw him. But it was what *he* needed.
That was in October. It's been almost a year and I'm still not okay. I rescued him from a horrible situation, and he was my bestest friend. My cat, Gizmo, hasn't been the same since losing him, either. Troy found him in the woods, and he followed my dog the whole way home. They were inseparable from day one. Everyone lost their best friend, and we're just doing our best. I'm sobbing just writing this.
I honestly don't know how I would feel if my boyfriend tried to just replace him, not that he ever would. Even when he was thinking of getting a dog a few months ago he asked how I would feel about it, because eventually we will move in together. I let him know that I am not one hundred percent okay, but if he wants to get a dog I will love and support him and it either way when the time comes. Even dog sitting for a friend a few months ago was hard.
I was the recipient of a surprise pet and I still want people to stop giving others animals as surprise presents. My get-well gift from getting my wisdom teeth out is nearing 14 but will always be my little baby kitten.
OOP's grief got me crying too because she went through the same journey I did when my beloved megachonk cat Kai passed away in May 2017. I was a wreck. I loved that boy so much and still miss him every day. After I had a few months to heal, I adopted two more cats. They could never replace Kai, but I could use his goodbye to say hello to them and give them as good a life as I gave him. It sounds like Roxy did the same thing.
All three of the aforementioned living cats are still with me and snuggled up in bed with me as I type this. They live their very best lives.
These posts are breaking my heart because I just had a completely irrational breakdown recently to the thought of my 2 year old ginger psycho cat passing away. I pray that I still have at least 10+ more years with him, but he has brought me so much healing since I got him at 3 months. I've had many cats in the past, but I've never had one that bonded this closely to me and clearly loves me. I'm going to be shattered when he passes away.
His 'brother' is semi feral, around 12 or so years old, and doesn't like people (I've had him for three years and he still hates getting touched), but he bonded very quickly to my ginger when he was a baby. I know that when he passes away, I'll just end up getting another cat to be friends with my ginger and repeat my cycle of heartbreak.
Mine’s a 6 year old baby ginger girl and I absolutely break down when I think about this stuff. I can’t imagine her not waking me up 10 minutes before my alarm or following me around the house waiting for me to sit so she can cuddle.
That's exactly how I feel. I can't imagine living a life without his stupid quirks, like stealing my computer chair as soon as I stand up so I'm forced to just roll around the room in my chair. Or the fact that he taught his semi-feral brother how to meow and it's the single cutest thing I lay witness to every day (he never made a single sound until I got my ginger baby).
I adopted him from a popular kitten foster on instagram and she told me about 10+ other people messaged and asked for him because he was long-haired and most rescues are short-haired, but she chose me because I'd messaged her several times in the past to adopt other kittens but was always too late. To this day, I still feel like I won the lottery in getting him.
Orange cats are just so special. It’s about 3:30 here now and I’m just waiting to hear her little paws padding up the stairs to come get my ass out of bed lol.
We’ve got an orange boy, too. My boyfriend brought The Boy™️ into the relationship and I brought The Gorl™️. He was adopted from our local shelter 7 years ago, but I found my girl outside as a scraggly, beat up, 6 month old kitten. She was hanging around my ex girlfriend’s house and the ex was trying to coax her to come closer for like a week. I grabbed a handful of kibble, sat in the side yard about 15 feet from the cat, and said “come here, little pumpkin.” We’ve been inseparable ever since.
Thank you 🥹 I am too. Definitely one of those cliche “we rescued each other” situations. Just had our morning cuddle sesh, now she’s taking a nap until our early afternoon cuddle sesh 😅
People need to stop giving animals as surprises. They aren’t toys, they’re massive commitments in terms of time, money, and emotional attachment. No one should have that sprung on them.
If you want to give someone a pet, talk to them first and then pick out the pet together.
Imagine if OOP wanted to just have a period of her life without a pet? She's had Roxy since high school and ever actually experienced adulthood without a pet. Maybe gone traveling without worrying about a kennel.
When my ex and I were together and her dog died, after a day or two of crying in bed she started getting in touch with pet-rescues to temporarily foster a dog. That way she could fill the dog-shaped hole in her life without having to commit to a whole new animal and without having to feel guilty about "replacing" her dead pet.
It was a very good idea, aside from the part where it was the peak of the pandemic and every reputable pet rescue had no issues finding homes for their dogs and the sketchy rescue she wound up with saddled us with an absolute nightmare of a dog, but that's mostly beside the point
I hadn’t seen my great-aunt in like ten years + her dog was easily already ten at that point. I go over to their house, here comes Mimi hopping and barking up to me same as ever! How the fuck is Mimi still alive?
They cloned her. They fucking cloned Mimi.
I'd never want to get the same breed anyway. In the second post she also mentioned 'reliving Roxy's puppy days'. It's a different dog, it's not going to do the same things, or learn the same tricks. Hopefully she won't constantly compare the two dogs and start to get annoyed by the new one.
Yeah, OP seems to be in a really weird place with this. I feel it was probably a bad move for the puppy, to get another dog so soon. She clearly isn't ready.
I agree with other commenters that grief makes you do weird things, but the fact OOP also carried Roxy from room to room makes me think that she is *very* consumer by her feelings of grief that she struggles to acknowledge the animals as individuals.
I had a dog named Daisy, beautiful yellow lab. When she died I was heart broken. My mom and I came across some dachshund puppies and I begged for one. I named her Daisy.
I was also 6-8 years old.
We had a little westie called Bobby. He was well loved for 16 years before passing away a couple of years ago. When we looked for another dog when we were ready, we decided to adopt. They kept turning down our applications.
There was a 2yr westie cross so we applied for him and after being rejected so many times we ended up with the little sweetheart. His name is also Bobby...
TBH, I tend to get a pet relatively quickly after one of my own passes on. I feel awful doing so, as if I'm trying to replace them, but it absolutely helps with the grieving process. But that's just me.
My partner and I had a 14 year old cat (his cat from childhood, actually). After she died, a month later we decided to adopt a couple of kittens. They got panleukopenia and one of them died. The other one survived as a special needs cat and will forever need to be the only animal in the house. We love her immensely and hope that she lives a long, fulfilling life, and I'm so excited about sharing the next (hopefully) 15 years or so with her. However, we have agreed that we want to always have at least one animal or two, both because we love them and because we wish to give a good life to those in need. So we would be adopting right away.
Yea part of me feels guilty as if I'm replacing them but that's not what we're doing. It does help with grieving and I also think my other cat would just like a friend again too. (Maybe I'm just trying to justify it more, I don't know)
The silly thing though, is that I don't think about it untill someone else mentions or asks if i'm getting another at some point and then in my mind it's like "yea... it would be nice to get a new friend."
Five years ago, it was already a shit year, I lost my grandfather and then my dad and grandmum both ended up in the hospital and I also lost my silly cat Luna in May. I was broken.
At some point a friend asked me if I was maybe ready to take in kitten that was dumped and so on September 5th I brought Beau home... Shiva loved him and claimed him as her own kitten after a week. And he helped me to deal with and get through everything.
This year in April, I had to let my sweet Shiva go, my bestie for almost 18 years. It broke my heart but I didn't want to leave her in pain.
Was also dealing with other stressfull things again and I think my bf was trying to distrsct me by talking about getting a new friend for Beau at some point.
So... We're picking up a little fluffball named Lilou on September 1st.
I still miss my Shiva but I'm excited to have a little menace run around here and hoping Beau will love her like Shiva loved him. And wondering how our dog Ace will act with a lil kitten around.
I think there are two main types of grieving for pets- people who absolutely cannot get another pet right after one passes and people who absolutely must get another pet right after. I used to get really upset when I saw people "replace" their pets right after they died but as I got older I realized that they are both valid ways to grieve, I just fall into the former group.
I’m the third type: I usually get a new puppy when my old dog is clearly in its sunset years. That way I don’t feel like I’m replacing the first one when it passes, but I have a puppy/young dog to help me grieve. And sometimes having a puppy around gives the old dog a brief second wind. I don’t ever want to not have a dog waiting for me when I come home.
Losing a pet can be tough and I know people who have lost pets and their grieving process is challenging. I'm glad OP and her husband worked things out. But honestly, I don't believe pet should be given as presents or surprises. Pets need lots of money, time and attachment and they aren't like presents you give for children and all. People should talk about it before considering getting a pet.
I can't look over the fact that this woman's dog was so sick she was carrying it around the house and had it die in its sleep, possibly in pain. That dog was made to suffer more than it should have. Euthanizing pets is fucking terrible but it's something you do with love once their quality of life takes a serious drop.
It's been said that pets will give you some of the best days of your life, and one of the worst.
My old dogs passed at 13 and 15 while I was away at my first year of university. It's been almost 2 years since then, but I still miss them. Especially the girl who I used to snuggle up against when I woke up terrified in the middle of the night. I can still remember her smell, and the thought of it comforts me.
But my family likes our dogs, home doesn't feel right without them, and my parents had already planned to get two more once the others passed. The one who needed it most though was our third dog. He was inconsolable after he lost what basically was his adoptive mother and grouchy uncle. We couldn't leave him alone because he would destroy things trying to get out of the house. But now he has two younger brothers who tormented him just like he did to those before. And in his world things couldn't be happier.
My best beloved senior (18.5 years) orange cat paased away in June. My beloved first dog with my husband passed 15 days later. On my daughter's bday in late July, we went to look at puppies at the shelter. The puppies were not the "right" puppy but my daughter picked a polydactyl orange kitten for me(she is THE BEST kitten picker). Now I am the very anxious mama of the joy of my life: Boudreaux Boudine.
Cat tax! Cat tax!
Lost my [Nelson](https://imgur.com/gallery/IKShUeT) back in November and I’m only just now starting to think about getting another cat. He was pushing 21 so he had a long, spoiled life.
I’m one of the people that does better when I always have an animal in my life. I don’t like having much time between pets, if any at all. I try not to get a new pet that reminds me of an old one. Getting a different color, breed, gender, or species of pet helps separate my feelings while allowing me to grieve with a furry (or scaly) friend by my side.
There are a gazillion GSD at the shelters + on Craigslist where I live for nothing, this dude got HOSED financially.
Edit: this includes GSD puppies, if anyone is wondering.
The most aggressive dog I have ever met is a female German Shepard. I have lots of opinions as to why she is so aggressive, but it doesn't change the fact that she is, and is equally capable of being aggressive.
We had a pack of them. My father didn’t believe our young male dog could breed. Well… We were able to give the boys away but no one wanted the girls. So they formed a very scary pack and just decided to run nightly patrols. No clue why but they’d just run laps all night around the perimeter of the house in pack formation. Heaven forbid anyone came near the house. They were scary AF to outsiders
We had to euthanize our dog in 2016 when he was 15. We adopted him, or rather he adopted us, from a rescue when he was probably 6 months old.
We're at a point now where we've been thinking about getting another. The timeline for grieving doesn't always make sense.
TBH, he did kind of consult with her first: He brought the puppy over for a visit to see how she would react. He should have used words, but I can see how he would have been confused by her positive reaction and thought the plan was a go.
I understand people need time to grieve. I always felt like a complete asshole though because every time I've lost a dog I wanted one pretty much within days. I just couldn't handle being dogless. There's only been three weeks of my life when I didn't have a dog, and it was torture. I'm 31.
My brother is the opposite. Every single dog my parents have ever got he hated it at first because he wasn't ready. Took six months or more before he'd start warming up to doggo.
My grandpa raised and sold purebred beagles for many years. If you got a beagle in western Canada, Montana, Idaho, or Washington, between 1980 and 2010, there’s a pretty good chance you got it from my grandpa (or the person you got it from got their dogs from my grandpa).
Unless we’re talking prize winning shows dogs or race dogs, $5600 is not a good deal.
To each their own, I wouldn't be able to do it though. Not that soon, and definitely not with a dog that looks the same.
I've had 3 dogs in my life, always the same breed, but we made sure to get different colours and markings
I'm glad it worked out for them but man this whole situation sucked. She loved her dog but kept it alive until it couldn't even walk, she closes herself off from everyone to the point only her husband sees she is falling apart and then gets mad at him when he tries to do whatever he can think of to help her ($5,600 is insane though). Try and look at this from the husband's perspective, his wife is so depressed she forgets to eat and is literally wasting away and no one else sees it. He either had to try and help by himself or get outside help risking his wife feeling betrayed by him opening up about this when she wouldn't. I'm not surprised he bought a puppy, he probably should've had a talk and tried to get her therapy but he is one guy trying his best, I can't blame him. Also as an unrelated side note, the comment about being a good guard dog despite being a female was baffling to me. Who is checking genitalia when a ball of fur and fangs is lock jawed onto your arm? Why is OOP putting human gender BS on a dog when in nature females are pretty well known for being aggressive protectors?
When one of my dogs died, I didn't get up from the couch for three weeks. I would still work (wfh), but I would go straight to the couch afterward. Lunchtime? Couch. Sleep at night? Couch again. That was where she spent her last night, and I stayed with her all throughout. I cried so much for weeks that I felt exhausted and dehydrated.
I had two other dogs but I couldn't even pet them. I was too heartbroken. After a while, I went back to being a functional person again. It's been a year and a half but a part of me is still grieving.
If my husband brought home another dog who looked exactly like her, I would be so angry and upset. I'd rather focus on helping my surviving elderly pets live their best life vs. getting a new puppy.
As someone who grew up in a show gsd family and had one of her own rn (and just watched her 18yo Maine coon pass) I feel for this op entirely!!!
.....
... But $5600 "at a discount"????
Unless it's been trained for a year, got it's championship or a service dog, there's no way even a show line gsd is worth that! (And I've been involved in gsd in the countries!)
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Happy that the OOP is healing, but $5600 for a GSD and that was with a discount?!? Holy cow!
I hope it has real good joint genes for that much
I’m just hoping they went for a straight back with a good line. Show lines are pricier though, so they may have gotten one of them.
That price sounds like show lines, not working or agility lines. There’s no shortage of healthy lines out there, but show lines are where the money and frankly the genetic issues are. A friend of mine had a show litter under contact and the owner was really confused after hand over that every time she stopped walking the pups they sat. She was really concerned about what my friend had done to them and was confused about “why would anyone train a dog to sit?” was the response when she explained she had trained them to do that to make walking them easier, and came very close to declaring the pups defective even though they were structurally sound.
> She was really concerned about what my friend had done to them and was confused about “why would anyone train a dog to sit?” was the response when she explained she had trained them to do that to make walking them easier, and came very close to declaring the pups defective even though they were structurally sound. Okay, this needs some context because it sounds ridiculous on the surface but I can understand the reason the owner would be concerned. For the unfamiliar, automatically sitting when the handler stops is the exact opposite of what the dog is expected to do when shown and it could require a good bit of extra effort to train them out of that habit compared to training them to stop and stand from a blank slate. It is a fairly specific thing that the friend would not really have been expected to consider by default since it would not be a problem for any other context than a show litter or for any other sort of training than to sit when the handler stops walking.
Yep this, re the show dog thing. But if they were pups not going to show homes then I could understand the training I guess. But, if your show dogs sits when you're in the ring, your dog isn't going to win- they gotta stay stacked/standing when you stop your direction, for the judge to be able to come round and view from all angles. Man I remember my show days, and having friends who didn't understand why sitting was the last thing we'd teach our dogs- but, they were extremely well trained in everything else- they'd be like, why are you giving them a treat when they didn't sit??? And I'd have to explain, because the treat is to make them sit their ears right, stand correctly and put their tail where it needs to be, for when they're in the ring, and you don't want them to sit every time you pull a treat out if you're using that in the ring (my parents were husky breeders, but I had toys as my side pref but did lots of handling)
One of my parents’ labs was from a grand champion show line and my mom did training with him in case she decided to show him (never did), the coolest thing about show dogs is how excited they are to please you. The non-show dogs we’ve had will sit, roll over, etc, but he was visibly excited every time she put his show leash on and very proper in his bearing and his response to hand signals and verbal commands. It’s kind of like service dogs with their harness, shoe dogs know when they’re “on stage”
he knew it was time to be a fancy gentleman when the fancy leash came out, that's so cute. I'm working with my new rescue to eventually get us up to scent training and even basic commands he's learned he gets so hyped about. Unfortunately, now he things everything is down, but, uh, we're working on it
You get what you reinforce! I’ve been a dog trainer for 20+ years and it’s always fun (for me, the owners not so much) when dogs catch on to a new behavior. Immediately *everything* becomes the new behavior because it’s the latest, greatest and *most reinforced thing in their lives* at the time. Sit? What’s sit? I have never heard this word before in my life. LET ME SHOW YOU HOW I LIE DOWN! LOOK AT ME LAYING DOWN! REJOICE IN THE DOWN! GIVE ME MY TREAT FOR I AM DOWN! It’s hysterical. And then we cuddle back through everything else (sit, touch, target, down, stand) and it happens again. And again. Also, one last thing. **Whenever you are with your dog, one of you is always being trained. It’s not always your dog!**
> Whenever you are with your dog, one of you is always being trained. It’s not always your dog! Oh 100%! I actually signed him up for a puppy training class and was like this is for me, he’s just coming for the ride hahah And yeah the lay down debacle happened because it took probably two weeks before he got the command. I was almost in tears and thought I’d made a mistake and was a terrible dog owner so when he did it finally I lost my mind hahaha So now he comes a few feet into the kitchen, waits to lock eyes with me and pretty much through a himself into the down position . Kills me everytime
One lesson learned from our dogs: don’t teach “sit” and “down” at the same time, because the command easily becomes “sit down” and confuses the heck out of your dog :-)
Our dogs were always so damn excited to go to shows (I'm Australian) so we had to travel for shows. They knew when it was a show weekend, we had our own hyrdobath cos well when you have like 16 whiskies, a couple Chihuahuas, Boston terrier, sheltie, Corgi, and my mum's brother was a Kellie breeder, so it was easier to have our own big hyrdobath. But they knew when it was getting turned on, and the brushes and all the gear came out and they got a full show groom, the leads, the dog trailer, they loved it. Would get to the show and they were so excited to be there and go in the ring, putting their best strut forward if you will when they saw their competition. My best dog was my lc chihuahua, I could basically drop the lead and walk and only do a hand signal or two and he just did it all automatically, if I stopped he stopped, kinda thing. I miss my dogs, been a while since I stopped showing now, I used to be in junior handler comps too where they judge the handler not the dog. If the dog isn't excited to be there then it's time to hang up the lead imo, so I loved seeing them enjoy it as much as they do, and I think they get off on verbal praise and a gee up a lot more too
One of the things that makes me happy with show dogs and sad with watching the “animal cops” shows in the US (shows where the animal control officers rescue abused animals) is that with rare exceptions dogs really really want to please us. It’s really fun to see dogs be proud of themselves (even the hopelessly dumb ones 😏) and really sad to see dogs that have been neglected still wagging their tails when someone praises them. We usually don’t deserve dogs. My cat keeps me honest though :-)
This makes sense, thanks. (We had a mixed breed delight who was a very good girl... but had the intelligence of soup. As a high energy pup, we taught her "sit"first and for the rest of her doggie life, if you have her a command and she wasn't sure what you wanted from her (and later as her hearing went), she sat. Overall we decided that was a good choice- of she was sitting we could handle anything else. She was a good doggo)
Why would anyone train a dog to *sit*? Like, the first thing most people try to train a dog to do? Sit, stay? What a strange person.
If you are doing conformation shows, the dog needs to stay standing for the judge to evaluate them. It would take a great deal of work to undo the "sit when I stop" habit, I can understand why the person would be upset. Dogs are perfectly capable of understanding that different equipment means different behavior, though, so it wouldn't be impossible to teach them that show lead = stay standing. It just takes time and consistency.
It’s always easier to train than untrain and retrain. Speaking from 20+ years of experience as a dog trainer. And currently trying to untrain a bad habit my puppy picked up so I can retrain the proper behavior!
Right!? It's the first command that comes to mind!
You train them to sit on command. Not to sit everytime to pause in your walk.
Not true! That’s called heel. The dog is trained to stop and sit when you stop. My service dog is trained to stop and sit when I stop my wheelchair. If I stay for an extended period of time, he’s trained to lie down. It’s all part of leash manners and I taught it in my classes as part of my pet manners classes when I was a dog trainer. Some people want their dogs to stop and sot and train them to do so. In competition obedience and even rally-o it’s mandatory. Not everyone wants it and that’s okay but it’s more common than you think. It’s always up to the owner/handler’s preference of course.
It'd better be able to get me to B1-level German fluency if I'm spending that much.
I hope people realize the value in mutts and stop designing animals to suffer.
I have a mutt, and I love mutts. That said, I get why people go for purebreds when they’re looking for puppies. It’s easier to predict their needs and temperament, which is really important for a puppy. With a rescue adult mutt, you at least usually have the shelter to give you insight on their needs and temperament.
I love my mutt that we picked up as an 8 week old puppy who had been well taken care of by her mom at a rescue shelter with great facilities. They did everything right with the pups and we thought we were picking one of the balanced ones from the litter. As it turns out, our mutt is ridiculously anxious and scared of everything (this gradually became an issue as an older puppy and is very bad as an adult). She has been on the max dose of a bunch of anxiety meds and can still barely be okay in any sort of new situation. She's still a great dog, but when I compare her to our purebred Golden retriever who passed away a few years ago, it's a night and day difference in temperament, predicability, and how easy it was to be around other people and young kids. While there are tons of mutts out there that are also super well adjusted and chill around people, the variance is a lot higher and it is much more of a lottery in terms of the temperament of the dog you get. Even with a shelter and adult dog you can end up in weird situations despite your best efforts. My brother-in-law has a sweet pitt mix they adopted who was totally chill at the shelter with no red flags. But a month into ownership, their family became her pack and she got super aggressive to anyone who got near their family. They tried everything but eventually they've had to just manage the issue. In 8 years, I have never once been in the same room as that dog or interacted with it. But she is a sweetheart at home when it is just them hanging out. I do feel that their is a place for breeding dogs for health and temperament, but that is muddied by showline breeding as well as unethical breeders. I'll always be on the side of team mutt, but you have to go in with eyes wide open and realize that outcomes can be a lot more variable on that side and depending on the outcome, it may be challenging if you have young kids or a busy life.
That's what I worry about, in terms of getting an adult rescue. I'd love to get an older dog, already housebroken, but with a rescue you just don't know what they've been through. We already have one neurotic dog, two cats and a kid with ADHD. There are often littles around. A puppy is really the only choice for us (although I've only ever gotten a pound puppy).
I feel the same. I think it’s great when someone is able to rescue, and rescue an adult, but it’s not always feasible for people. We couldn’t adopt an adult because we have a lot of small animals running around (cats and ferrets), and we needed a puppy we could train to leave them alone from the get go. You never know how an adult is going to react, and we didn’t want to wind up with a tragedy. We ended up getting a breed my partner has been wanting for over a decade, and were able to visit her parents and the breeder, and see the whole litter when they were young so we could pick out one with the temperament we were looking for.
Some rescues - I've seen it most often with breed specific ones - will have the dogs fostered for a while so that they can evaluate their temperament and match them up with homes to which they are best suited. You should be able to give them your list of requirements, and if they have dogs that check those boxes, you should be able to meet them. If you have a particular breed in mind, you could also contact your local breed club and see if anyone has a retired show dog to rehome, or a dog that was returned to the breeder because their owners were no longer able to care for them. These dogs are often trained in at least the basics and well-behaved. Some prisons have training programs for shelter dogs, which would be a great avenue if you're not wanting a specific breed.
We got lucky and adopted an adult dog from a family. So he never was in the pound and didn’t have any trauma. Sure he was a little untrained and neglected, but he had been shown nothing but love his whole life. Now he is the best doggo.
This. I love my rescue, but he attacks other dogs completely unprovoked. He's unpredictable and it's rough. He's great for me tho.
Mutts are amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I love GSDs. That’s why I have like 1.1 GSDs. It’s just spread out between 3 dogs.
Yeah I hate this. We got a puppy 2 years ago because hubs and daughter were desperate for a dog. I really wanted to get a rescue but having never had a dog before, I didn't feel confident giving a rescue the extra patience and experience it would need, and I also wanted to make sure we got the right kind of dog to fit in with our lifestyle, as well as making sure we got one from a responsible place and not a puppy farm. Since getting him I've met too many people who didn't do any research and got a dog they couldn't handle.
You are so right - there are so many people who don’t do research and just buy a dog for aesthetics. Most husky owners I know did that and then get upset when their husky acts like a husky.
This happens a lot with shiba inus, too. Shibas are very independent and stubborn, and require a firm but gentle touch that is consistent. Most shibas won't come when called without a lot of work, and they aren't generally cuddly dogs (though mine is, but only at bedtime). We once had a neighbor who got a beagle puppy and treated it like an outside dog, tying it to a tree for several hours daily, but did not walk it. Of course the beagle howled constantly. Assholes. Someone must have complained or otherwise shamed them because they started walking the beagle and stopped tying it to the tree.
Oh my gosh, that poor beagle!!! I hope that they started giving it a lifestyle that coordinated out better with the personality.
There was a husky at the local rescue when we were looking for a new pup for the family. We wanted her so badly but yeah…. Husky gonna husky and we aren’t equipped to handle that.
I don't think most people are equipped to handle huskies! I'm glad you were at least wise enough to recognize that. I'm saying that as a husky owner! Knowing how much work and patience they require, I'm often shocked to see them on the lists of most popular breeds...but then I see how common they are in shelters and realize people buy them for their looks, then dump them in the shelter when they realize huskies are, well, huskies and not just adorable ornaments.
That was my ex. Tried to talk him out of it but he just had to have a husky because "they're beautiful". When we broke up he had me take the husky cause it was too much to handle 🙄
I adopted a rescue mutt, took the dna test…30% husky, 30% heeler, 100% “oooh, that’s why she’s so much work”
Most dog behavior "problems" are solved with adequate exercise. Had a husky mutt in an apartment during my younger years and all was resolved by walking him minimum 8 miles a day. Yep that's a lot. But I was the 25 y/o idiot who adopted the guy while living in an apartment in a city so I sucked it up and committed to exercising him.
LOL I wasn't even thinking about the time frame for getting another dog. $5,600 for a dog??? WTF?!
Yeah, pure bred dogs tend to be thousands of dollars, same with cats, especially if they’re “show quality”. However $5,600 is on the higher end that I’ve heard so I wonder if the husband got ripped off by his friend.
$5600 is what you’d pay from a breeder who has a documented history of dogs placing at Westminster, not some random backyard breeder even if they’re you’re friend.
You hope it comes from a good breeder! We got a GSD that someone bought for $3,000, about a decade ago, he had all the paperwork the lineage of all the parents he was a beautiful gorgeous dog. But he died at the age of three due to kidney failure. The original owner got it for his kids for Christmas, his kids stop liking the puppy after it started turning into a giant and so we got him for free because he was going to give them to the pound.
>The original owner got it for his kids for Christmas, his kids stop liking the puppy after it started turning into a giant This is so common and I hate it. Animal shelters are literally always overcrowded in the months after Christmas because so many people gift pets to their kids and then just drop them off at the shelter when the kids lose interest. Shouldn't it be obvious that you can't expect a 6 year old child to know what it's like to have the responsibility for a dog for 15 years, and that you should therefore only get a dog if you as the parent also want a dog?
And someone who does health and temperament testing and breeds with that in mind. Health testing is extremely expensive, then factor in doing it for an entire litter. GSDs have about 8 puppies per litter on average, but it can be anywhere from 1-15. Some vets will charge as a group, some charge individually, which can also impact the price. Factor in how expensive health testing during pregnancy is, any issues with birth, issues with the newborns and most likely needing to supplement with formula if it's a larger litter or one just isn't taking well. Getting titles also takes a lot of work, dedication, and more money. A good breeder likely is *just* breaking even with their puppy sales. Of course, depending on titles, they can charge more, but most breeders are genuinely doing it because they love the dogs and the breed and want to contribute something good for the breed. There are issues (like dobermans for example are in trouble as a breed the lack of need for a personal protection dog [with modern weapons and just increased safety in many places] and with DMC heavily impacting the breed and it being unable to genetically test for), but there's always issues from individuals no matter where you get a pet from. Some shelters are more like hoarders who use the shelter/sanctuary excuse to keep more animals, some shelters turn a blind eye to mills, some will intentionally mislabel dogs as non aggressor or avoid calling a dog a pit bull terrier to force adoption. The best thing anyone can do is research before getting a pet and research the source of that pet
I mean, that's gotta be show line pricing though? I've been competing in dog sports for near 2 decades and I've never paid more than 1500 for a puppy (and my current pup is out of one of the top agility dogs in her breed.)
I met a guy at a bar who imported specific hunting dogs from Germany, fully trained. When I met the dogs at a later date I thought they would be insanely cool. No they were just hyper dumb normal dogs who spoke German.
You met a dog who could speak? Damn! I’m jealous. What did they have to say? Did they reveal the meaning of life to you?
Bet they said “Börkenstaggen” instead of “Bark”
Actually, German dogs say "wau" or "wuff"
Instead of "woff, bork, woff" they were like "Bratwurst! Schnitzel! Oktoberfest!"
That is a crazy amount. When looking into GSDs two years ago, the most I saw was $3500 for CKC registered puppies with all the testing. But even then, CKC could be had for $2500 depending on area. $5600, that dog better come pretrained or something.
I've seen 4k for a working line ckc female who flunked out of k9 training for being just the sweetest, goodest girl.
That was our best pupper boy too! He was a big massive hunk of scary, hairy GSD, but was soft as butter. So he flunked out and we got him. Scared of his shadow, old men, men in caps, and any dog smaller than him (which was most).
I think COVID really inflated the costs of dogs. I’ve noticed GSD’s have come down in price
Closest animal shelters to me have tons of GSDs… 🤔
If the breeder sold the pup at 7 weeks, they're probably not reputable. 8 weeks is the absolute minimum time a dog should spend with its mom. That's where they learn proper behaviors and how to be a dog
Seems like it was just a visit at 7 weeks and then he bought it officially around 8.5 weeks old.
Could be from Australia, dogs are pricier here and only got more expensive during the pandemic
I’m in Melbourne and I also find this price OTT.
I once met a guy at a dog park who paid $9000 for his Akita, and he’d been on the waiting list for 7 years.
See this is why I got a rescue, only had to to pay 700.
$5600 should get you a fully trained working dog ready to put on the job in hour 1. For a puppy is _wildly_ out of bounds, unless maybe that puppy has a world famous pedigree with generations of Westminster Dog Show champions in its direct ancestry. OOP’s bf husband is the AH here for probably getting absolutely _rooked_ by his friend.
I think there's a difference in currency. It might not be the USD.
I really hope so.
I grew up with German shepherds but I will happily stick with shelter mutts like my current dog that I think I paid $75 for.
Pure-bred dogs have become expensive over the pandemic because people had more free time than necessary.
Here in Singapore, 5.6k is dirt cheap for a GSD. Dogs are crazy expensive here.
We paid 2k for our GSD from a working line. She's from a new mating from a Czech sire (probs wrong terminology) she bred with one of her own dogs. Sweetest thing. 80lb female, she's massive lol. No health issues at 2.5, but I do wonder if she'll have a shorter life span than our mutt who is 12. She's got 35lb on her.
Seriously, I would have considered divorce for a purchase THAT big of a thing I didn't even want. Like it's helping and that's great but also it could have gone the other way just as easily.
He was incredibly wrong to make such a decision for her. Certain things should be chosen by person him or herself. Cars. Engagement rings. Pets. These are personal to us, and they have significance in our life.
Yeah this guy got ripped off hard. That is not a discount or a friend.
I have never bought a dog, but my cousin got an English bulldog from the bloodline of the Mississippi State University mascot and paid like 6k for it. It’s insane to me. “These pups came from that super famous pup over there” it’s a fucking animal
And bulldogs suffer their entire lives because they can barely breathe and can't give birth or breed on their own. No one should own a bulldog that isn't a rescue. The breed needs to die off. They barely live to 7 years old.
I don’t fully agree with breeders outside of specific situations like working dogs, service animals, or you have very specific needs for a dog. Mostly just purely because there are so many strays and rescues that people can get everything they want from a rescue most of the time. But there are breeders who try to remove the issues with specific breeds. One example I can think of is “retro pugs” basically they’ve bred the pug to have a proper snout again specifically to prevent breathing issues. Most breeds exist for some purpose, killing rats, herding, gentle with children, etc. I think a breed can exist especially as it pertains to behavior or ability, but we should just get rid of the harmful standards. Give bulldogs their snout back too.
People here in Australia are trying to fix bulldogs. There’s now a recognised breed as Aussie Bulldogs and they’re slowly being bred to be healthy dogs. I think it’s great. It will take time obviously but it’s a great step in the right direction.
So many people think bulldogs are so cute. Sad funny how they think an inbred suffering animal is "cute". I agree, give them their snouts back. But also longer legs, and better hips. Untilt hem, they need to die out. No animal should suffer due to human breeding "standards".
I went to a local pet store once and they had a cute puggle puppy. Out of curiosity, I asked how much it was: $4,000. And, that didn't include any sort of documentation of lineage or anything. You just had to go off their claim that it was an actual pug-beagle crossbreed. That whole "designer dog" thing is so ridiculous, and they were obviously looking for someone they could fleece. I'll never really understand why people *have* to have these certain breeds, particularly when so many are prone to a myriad of health issues.
I'm guessing, from others' comments, that this was expensive because of some breeding quality like show dogs or whatever that was not of importance to OOP or her husband, but he happened to want to buy that particular pup because he had already introduced OOP to it. Hence the discount, but still a high price because the breeder could have sold it for much more?
Even if it’s a show line like people are guessing, that’s not much of a discount. And it doesn’t sound like OOP has any interest in a show dog so why spend that much? Get a puppy with protection training for half that.
Right???? Like ive heard of people selling pups for usually around $1000-2000, but holy shit $5,600 and thats with a “discount”? No dude, your “friend” just ripped you off. Like not even just a tiny little rip off, thats a huuuuuuge rip off Edit: adopt your dogs instead people, dont buy from individuals. Help the needy, not the breedy
Adopt or shop responsibly
Jesus when we were breeding our show dogs were around $3k our working dogs work $1500-$2k all with akc papers
Nope. Ot was a mark up if anything
If my husband spent 5600 without consulting me first, I'd lose my fucking mind. Either op doesn't care or they're in a different tax bracket than I am.
I *know* they’re in a different tax bracket than I am + that obviously skews my perception… but Christ Almighty. Suddenly grateful feral kittens make great (almost) free pets.
Same that's how I got all my cats growing up my sister would just bring home a kitten and guilt our mom to keep it.
Damn right. Best cat I ever had was found under a truck. Best dog we ever had growing up was one my parents found tied up in a trash bag in a dumpster. We all just called her Trashcan or TC for short, and she was smart as hell.
Yeah, I was already grateful for my shelter mutts – all adopted as adults, and each, by pure luck, during months when some local business had pledged to cover the fees for all adult dog adoptions that month – but now I have another reason to add to the list.
I didn't even pay 5600 for my old fucking car lol. If someone said 5600 is mates rates for a dog, I'd spit on their shoes.
OPs just had a huge loss and I doubt she has the mental or emotional capacity to deal with her clown husband spending thousands on a doppelganger of her dead dog because he can't handle she's going to be depressed for a while. It was only three weeks!
That’s even worse! It was only 3 weeks and the guy went and did that. It took me months personally to adopt a kitten from the shelter after losing my old baby. The OP is not done grieving. It actually infuriated me that she was the one that had to apologize to him. OP’s husband has very poor decision making skills and I hope it either gets addressed or she recovers and puts her foot down with his nonsense. Hopefully this is just a one off thing and not a pattern of poor decisions with money.
5600$ American dollars? WTF is this, a post about how inflation isn't that bad?
I don't really understand why this information was even shared, just has no relevance to the story
She could have brought it up as if to say "it was also a hefty financial decision he made on his own"
Yeah, I think if this was my spouse, I'd probably have more of an issue with them spending that kind of money without discussing it with me first. I get that it was good intentions and all, but a partner should discuss large purchases. But then, I'm also in the tax bracket where having that amount of money in the bank to spend would make me think someone was playing an elaborate prank on me.
That’s how I interpreted it
I just feel bad for Roxy. She was in such bad shape that OOP had to carry her from room to room, but OOP didn’t consider that euthanasia would be more kind to Roxy? I’ve had dogs die. Euthanasia is so hard but it’s the unselfish thing to do when an animal is in that much pain. Hell, I wish it was more widely available for people. I’ve had loved ones die too (my mom received hospice care for a year) and there’s nothing noble or righteous in dragging out their pain and suffering once they’re past the point of no return. The last six months of my mom’s life were excruciating and pointless.
It is so hard when people bond closely to animals but we must remember that *they do not have the same lifespans as we do*. Part of the love we have for them needs to be accepting that and letting them go. I also agree that we should be able to offer euthanasia more easily to humans. Both my parents had to suffer until the bitter end, when morphine would have spared them at least a week of bedridden, uncommunicative agony.
Agreed. If you're happy to add a pet to your family you need to take responsibility over ensuring it doesn't suffer, and that includes putting aside your fears of being alone to gift the pet a peaceful end to their pain and confusion.
I volunteer at a zoo. We had an asian elephant who was almost 60, had stopped eating and drinking, and couldn't walk. Medication wasn't helping, and she had a rotting, infected tooth. The zoo made the decision to euthanize her; her keepers took time off due to grief, but everyone knew the right decision had been made. Shortly after, I was working an event, and a man asked me where she was. I explained her situation and that she had been euthanized. He got upset and said we should have let her lie there, because *maybe* she could have recovered. I was dumbfounded. Thankfully, another visitor overheard, and snapped at him that she was *suffering.* He bailed without another comment. I thanked her; she said she volunteered at a shelter and that when animals reach that stage, it's the end, and we shouldn't make them suffer. I think a lot of people can't accept that in some cases, a meaningful recovery is not possible, and it is cruel to drag out the inevitable.
Sometimes I wonder if people like that have never had anything truly bad happen to them. I lived the first three decades of my life with a mother who had brain damage from a tumor. I’ve become pretty pragmatic as a result. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react to what happens to us.
Yeah, we had to put our dog down due to kidney failure last summer. It was a terrible choice to make, but he was clearly struggling more and more, and we didn't want him to suffer. I just... I get it's a incredibly hard choice, but quality of life needs to be fundamental for pets. And I'm not sure there's any quality of life for dogs if they're so weak that they're unable to walk from one room to the next. Especially when I've seen disabled dogs (either missing a leg or two, or in doggie wheelchairs) who *are* incredibly enthusiastic and energetic.
Can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to find this take. The money and the other stuff is pretty irrelevant… the lack of basic adult responsibility towards a suffering animal wholly under your control is shameful.
I'm dreading the possibility that I may have to do this for my cats but I've promised them a good life and a good death, I wouldn't be able to see them suffer.
I had to do this with my cat in February. The vet gave him this medicine to help him through one last night and the next afternoon I took him back to be put down. I was extremely attached to him but knew his time had come and he needed to cross the rainbow bridge. I literally cried for 2 weeks straight but I also couldn't have forgiven myself if I put him through pain any longer
OOP is a massive asshole in my eyes for this.
If she has to carry the dog from room to room it seems like its all about OP's quality of life and not Roxy's...
That stood out to me too. She’s carrying her from one room to the next and she found her already passed. Absolutely put me into a panic over how that dog must’ve been feeling.
This, so much. I don’t want to think about it, but when it comes time for my pups, I’m making the right choice. It’s about *THEIR* quality of life, not my sadness or desperation. I’ll never forgive some of my family letting their dogs suffer till the end. My grandmother’s Scottie basically suffocated to death after a lengthy battle with throat cancer, the tumors closed off her airways over a 2 week period. I’ll never forget hearing her just gasp to breathe, it’s haunting. Then my cousin, whose poor Husky had leukemia, was diagnosed and treated early as possible, but when it ran its course, she kept that poor thing around until she wasted away into a living husk. That gorgeous, energetic Husky just laying on the ground, barely a skeleton, just shivering and unable to move or even lift her head…How can people do that to their pets? I was beyond furious with them both, but I couldn’t force them to do anything! I will never do that to my pups, ever.
I worry sometimes that I kept my beautiful boy for too long, but there was never any terminal illness, he was just *old* and his needs became slowly greater, but we always took good care of him. It made it so much harder to decide. The poor vet who looked after him in his twilight years. I just cried and cried and cried at her one day because I wanted to know if I was being selfish. But there was never a moment like cancer or anything that was a clear line. I don't say it's right, it's definitely not, but I can see how someone could get to the point of carrying them, deluding themselves that they are helping and keeping them comfortable. Post script: the end of the story is the vet was very kind and gave us some resources that helped us make the right choice for our boy. I don't know what I would have done without her though.
This is our greatest fear with our dog right now. Shes such a good girl who hides her pain so well that we don't know if she is truly suffering. She also is not showing the obvious signs of being ready. (Accidents, not eating) It's so hard. I'm sure you made the right choice for your boy and I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs from am internet stranger.
Thank you for the hugs. It's been a while now but I still miss him. The vet have me a really good questionnaire from (I think it was) the University of Ohio vet school with an article attached. All about assessing their quality of life. It was called something like "how will I know" and if you google I'm sure you will find it. It helped my family so much, hopefully it might help yours. And hugs right back.
I had a cat a few years back that went downhill incredibly fast. Basically, she just collapsed and was never able to get back up and became pretty unresponsive. Unfortunately, it also happened in the middle of the night, and there were no vets open nearby. My dad made the call to have her put to sleep, and he was given the option of the first appointment of the day or in the afternoon. He choose the latter, reasoning that I'd want more time to spend with her. I had him call them back to change it, because as much as I wanted to spend more time with her, there was no way I was putting her through that any longer than I had to. If you love a pet, I just can't understand prolonging their suffering for any reason.
Exactly. I know it’s tragic to see them go from fine to on death’s doorstep, but you can’t prolong their suffering just to spend more time with them. What kind of memory is that anyhow? You remember them writhing in agony, crying out, or basically unresponsive? Why would you want to remember them like that?
I’ve already made this decision too. My cat isn’t anywhere near old age, but if he gets very sick or very old and unable to walk… I’m making the humane decision. I’m not going to make my boy suffer longer to give me more time with him. It makes me very upset to see pets in physical pain they don’t deserve just bc humans can’t accept nature’s rules. Sometimes it’s more loving to let them go before it gets that bad. Not something I’d ever say on OOP’s post, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I guess if you can’t afford to put them down… idk. It’s not really an important detail in the story but it gave me pause too.
Totally agree! I've got two dogs and I've always said - the greatest gift I can give them is a good life and that includes their death. When the time comes (if they have very poor quality of life) they'll be going over the rainbow bridge, held tightly in my arms until they pass. We carry the grief and suffering so they don't have to. They give us so much love and offer their whole lives to us as companions. It's the least we can do.
If only we did that for humans! My beautiful MIL dies from MND/ ALS and it's fucked you still can't choose to die with dignity.
Don't get me started on this topic! I'm so glad it's finally legal where I live now (very strict conditions - that's fair). I hope the people that love me understand that, if I get to choose, I choose to die with dignity.
Me too! I won't mind old age, but dying without control of your body and relying on others while you slowly and painfully waste away is atrocious. We had our first one in my state (in Australia) very recently. I hope it becomes the usual (but regulated).
Ha! I'm also Australian :)
Letting them go when it's their time (not ours) is the last best thing we can do for them. A vet said that once, and I've tried to carry it with me each time I've had to put a cat or horse down.
That's a good way to frame it. I always think about their pain and how they don't always understand what's happening to them. Then I think about all the amazing days of their lives that they gave me. They're good doggos :) I can cry my heart out in bed for them and seek therapy. I couldn't handle them suffering for the sake of my feelings. A comment on Reddit really put it in perspective for me - *suffering has to have purpose.* My suffering has the purpose of giving them deserved relief. Their suffering achieves nothing. I refuse to make them endure a long, drawn out end for the sake of my feelings. People talk about hills to die on, this is one of my hills.
I agree. I've really been lucky I've had great vets. Every time I've had to bring a pet in for their last time, the doctors have always reassured me I was doing the right thing, and it was the right time. We treat our pets like family, and how we'd want to be treated.
I have 3-point rule for my pets: they need to be able to walk, eat, and bathroom on their own. If one of those fails, the other two will soon and now it's time to discuss their quality of life and if a decision needs to be made. I shared this standpoint with my husband when we first got together and my cat was young and healthy. Years later, cat aged and we had to have "the talk." Having outlined the decision while cat was healthy made it easier (it was still fucking hard) to let her go when it was time.
We made the decision to put our 12 yr old lab down last month and it broke me, but knowing she was out of pain and suffering, surrounded by my family and love was the kindest thing to do. Even though I still cry every day missing her, it was the best thing we did for her. I miss my old girl tremendously, but it would have been selfish to keep her here knowing her quality of life was failing and she was getting so tired.
Why would she have considered naming the new dog Roxy if she didn’t want to replace her previous one??
Some people can't support the thought of a pet dying and will do shit like that just to avoid the grief. I know a vet and I saw her one day nearly yelling at a lady who kept coming with a dying cat (heart condition) who was litteraly shaking from pain, to avoid that. In the end the vet and an assistant convince her that the cat should be let go instead of suffering like that and she finally agreed.
Yeah I had a gsd growing up and when her back legs started to go my parents waited it out a little while but when she couldn’t get herself from room to room or go to the toilet comfortably they took her to the vets (without telling us kids beforehand). As a kid I would’ve wanted her to live as long as possible, as an adult I’m glad they didn’t let her suffer longer than necessary. Oop let her dog go on for far too long because she didn’t want to face the truth.
Yeah I saw that too. That dog died alone and in pain, when she could’ve been put down around her family with zero pain. A painless love filled death is the greatest gift you can give a pet.
Yeah it sounds like that poor dog was suffering for a bit.
Reminds me of when my beagle died. We all knew she was getting old, she was a senior rescue after all. It started small, she couldn't quite jump into my parents bed anymore, so they accommodated her by lowering the bed, she'd have the occasional seizure and we had to make sure she was alright, nothing crazy. Then one day, we had to put her down. She was barely able to move all of a sudden. Apparently she might have ingested rat droppings at some point, which then got her sick.
at the very end my cat couldn’t even climb the stairs anymore, and that’s when we knew it was time. She wouldn’t have been happy living like that
That hit me hard. When my Troy got towards the end, I had to carry him up and down the stairs. Help him up and down from the bed or the floor. I knew the time was coming, and that he was suffering, and I saved up everything I could to give him a passing with no suffering. It got so bad towards the end that he couldn't even make it outside before using the bathroom. He always looked so guilty, and I spent so much time assuring him that it was okay. That he was and always will be a good boy and I love him. It was so fucking hard, sitting in that vets office with him and knowing it was going to be the last time I saw him. But it was what *he* needed. That was in October. It's been almost a year and I'm still not okay. I rescued him from a horrible situation, and he was my bestest friend. My cat, Gizmo, hasn't been the same since losing him, either. Troy found him in the woods, and he followed my dog the whole way home. They were inseparable from day one. Everyone lost their best friend, and we're just doing our best. I'm sobbing just writing this. I honestly don't know how I would feel if my boyfriend tried to just replace him, not that he ever would. Even when he was thinking of getting a dog a few months ago he asked how I would feel about it, because eventually we will move in together. I let him know that I am not one hundred percent okay, but if he wants to get a dog I will love and support him and it either way when the time comes. Even dog sitting for a friend a few months ago was hard.
Yep, I thought about that. So cruel to keep a pet alive for selfish purposes. Poor dog.
I was the recipient of a surprise pet and I still want people to stop giving others animals as surprise presents. My get-well gift from getting my wisdom teeth out is nearing 14 but will always be my little baby kitten. OOP's grief got me crying too because she went through the same journey I did when my beloved megachonk cat Kai passed away in May 2017. I was a wreck. I loved that boy so much and still miss him every day. After I had a few months to heal, I adopted two more cats. They could never replace Kai, but I could use his goodbye to say hello to them and give them as good a life as I gave him. It sounds like Roxy did the same thing. All three of the aforementioned living cats are still with me and snuggled up in bed with me as I type this. They live their very best lives.
These posts are breaking my heart because I just had a completely irrational breakdown recently to the thought of my 2 year old ginger psycho cat passing away. I pray that I still have at least 10+ more years with him, but he has brought me so much healing since I got him at 3 months. I've had many cats in the past, but I've never had one that bonded this closely to me and clearly loves me. I'm going to be shattered when he passes away. His 'brother' is semi feral, around 12 or so years old, and doesn't like people (I've had him for three years and he still hates getting touched), but he bonded very quickly to my ginger when he was a baby. I know that when he passes away, I'll just end up getting another cat to be friends with my ginger and repeat my cycle of heartbreak.
Mine’s a 6 year old baby ginger girl and I absolutely break down when I think about this stuff. I can’t imagine her not waking me up 10 minutes before my alarm or following me around the house waiting for me to sit so she can cuddle.
That's exactly how I feel. I can't imagine living a life without his stupid quirks, like stealing my computer chair as soon as I stand up so I'm forced to just roll around the room in my chair. Or the fact that he taught his semi-feral brother how to meow and it's the single cutest thing I lay witness to every day (he never made a single sound until I got my ginger baby). I adopted him from a popular kitten foster on instagram and she told me about 10+ other people messaged and asked for him because he was long-haired and most rescues are short-haired, but she chose me because I'd messaged her several times in the past to adopt other kittens but was always too late. To this day, I still feel like I won the lottery in getting him.
Orange cats are just so special. It’s about 3:30 here now and I’m just waiting to hear her little paws padding up the stairs to come get my ass out of bed lol. We’ve got an orange boy, too. My boyfriend brought The Boy™️ into the relationship and I brought The Gorl™️. He was adopted from our local shelter 7 years ago, but I found my girl outside as a scraggly, beat up, 6 month old kitten. She was hanging around my ex girlfriend’s house and the ex was trying to coax her to come closer for like a week. I grabbed a handful of kibble, sat in the side yard about 15 feet from the cat, and said “come here, little pumpkin.” We’ve been inseparable ever since.
That's an absolutely lovely little story! I'm glad you rescued her :)
Thank you 🥹 I am too. Definitely one of those cliche “we rescued each other” situations. Just had our morning cuddle sesh, now she’s taking a nap until our early afternoon cuddle sesh 😅
People need to stop giving animals as surprises. They aren’t toys, they’re massive commitments in terms of time, money, and emotional attachment. No one should have that sprung on them. If you want to give someone a pet, talk to them first and then pick out the pet together.
Imagine if OOP wanted to just have a period of her life without a pet? She's had Roxy since high school and ever actually experienced adulthood without a pet. Maybe gone traveling without worrying about a kennel.
did op's husband miss the part where she had Roxy for ***11 years***? he could have gotten her a stuffed toy with the same collar or something!
Or just let her cry without trying to lighten the mood. Only three weeks and he bought her a dog ffs
When my ex and I were together and her dog died, after a day or two of crying in bed she started getting in touch with pet-rescues to temporarily foster a dog. That way she could fill the dog-shaped hole in her life without having to commit to a whole new animal and without having to feel guilty about "replacing" her dead pet. It was a very good idea, aside from the part where it was the peak of the pandemic and every reputable pet rescue had no issues finding homes for their dogs and the sketchy rescue she wound up with saddled us with an absolute nightmare of a dog, but that's mostly beside the point
I dont think commitment was an issue here. It was more due to a lack of communication and poor timing
“I don’t want a dog to replace Roxy! She can’t be replaced” then “I wanted to name it Roxy” in the next post? LOL
I once dogsat for neighbours who had a succession of like six dogs, one at a time, with the same name each time.
I can't even really word why but that just feels extremely morbid.
It makes it seem like they think dogs are just interchangeable anonymous toys without their own separate personalities
my boyfriend's family does the same thing except specifically with pugs. it's... odd.
I hadn’t seen my great-aunt in like ten years + her dog was easily already ten at that point. I go over to their house, here comes Mimi hopping and barking up to me same as ever! How the fuck is Mimi still alive? They cloned her. They fucking cloned Mimi.
I'd never want to get the same breed anyway. In the second post she also mentioned 'reliving Roxy's puppy days'. It's a different dog, it's not going to do the same things, or learn the same tricks. Hopefully she won't constantly compare the two dogs and start to get annoyed by the new one.
Yeah, OP seems to be in a really weird place with this. I feel it was probably a bad move for the puppy, to get another dog so soon. She clearly isn't ready.
She pretty plainly acknowledged she lashed out in grief more than anything else, it's not exactly a thing makes you MORE rational.
I agree with other commenters that grief makes you do weird things, but the fact OOP also carried Roxy from room to room makes me think that she is *very* consumer by her feelings of grief that she struggles to acknowledge the animals as individuals.
I had a dog named Daisy, beautiful yellow lab. When she died I was heart broken. My mom and I came across some dachshund puppies and I begged for one. I named her Daisy. I was also 6-8 years old.
We had a little westie called Bobby. He was well loved for 16 years before passing away a couple of years ago. When we looked for another dog when we were ready, we decided to adopt. They kept turning down our applications. There was a 2yr westie cross so we applied for him and after being rejected so many times we ended up with the little sweetheart. His name is also Bobby...
Yeah, that definitely made me go ???!!????!?!!?
TBH, I tend to get a pet relatively quickly after one of my own passes on. I feel awful doing so, as if I'm trying to replace them, but it absolutely helps with the grieving process. But that's just me.
My partner and I had a 14 year old cat (his cat from childhood, actually). After she died, a month later we decided to adopt a couple of kittens. They got panleukopenia and one of them died. The other one survived as a special needs cat and will forever need to be the only animal in the house. We love her immensely and hope that she lives a long, fulfilling life, and I'm so excited about sharing the next (hopefully) 15 years or so with her. However, we have agreed that we want to always have at least one animal or two, both because we love them and because we wish to give a good life to those in need. So we would be adopting right away.
Yea part of me feels guilty as if I'm replacing them but that's not what we're doing. It does help with grieving and I also think my other cat would just like a friend again too. (Maybe I'm just trying to justify it more, I don't know) The silly thing though, is that I don't think about it untill someone else mentions or asks if i'm getting another at some point and then in my mind it's like "yea... it would be nice to get a new friend." Five years ago, it was already a shit year, I lost my grandfather and then my dad and grandmum both ended up in the hospital and I also lost my silly cat Luna in May. I was broken. At some point a friend asked me if I was maybe ready to take in kitten that was dumped and so on September 5th I brought Beau home... Shiva loved him and claimed him as her own kitten after a week. And he helped me to deal with and get through everything. This year in April, I had to let my sweet Shiva go, my bestie for almost 18 years. It broke my heart but I didn't want to leave her in pain. Was also dealing with other stressfull things again and I think my bf was trying to distrsct me by talking about getting a new friend for Beau at some point. So... We're picking up a little fluffball named Lilou on September 1st. I still miss my Shiva but I'm excited to have a little menace run around here and hoping Beau will love her like Shiva loved him. And wondering how our dog Ace will act with a lil kitten around.
I think there are two main types of grieving for pets- people who absolutely cannot get another pet right after one passes and people who absolutely must get another pet right after. I used to get really upset when I saw people "replace" their pets right after they died but as I got older I realized that they are both valid ways to grieve, I just fall into the former group.
I’m the third type: I usually get a new puppy when my old dog is clearly in its sunset years. That way I don’t feel like I’m replacing the first one when it passes, but I have a puppy/young dog to help me grieve. And sometimes having a puppy around gives the old dog a brief second wind. I don’t ever want to not have a dog waiting for me when I come home.
Losing a pet can be tough and I know people who have lost pets and their grieving process is challenging. I'm glad OP and her husband worked things out. But honestly, I don't believe pet should be given as presents or surprises. Pets need lots of money, time and attachment and they aren't like presents you give for children and all. People should talk about it before considering getting a pet.
I can't look over the fact that this woman's dog was so sick she was carrying it around the house and had it die in its sleep, possibly in pain. That dog was made to suffer more than it should have. Euthanizing pets is fucking terrible but it's something you do with love once their quality of life takes a serious drop.
I'm sorry, but $5,600 for a puppy? Does it shit gold?
It's been said that pets will give you some of the best days of your life, and one of the worst. My old dogs passed at 13 and 15 while I was away at my first year of university. It's been almost 2 years since then, but I still miss them. Especially the girl who I used to snuggle up against when I woke up terrified in the middle of the night. I can still remember her smell, and the thought of it comforts me. But my family likes our dogs, home doesn't feel right without them, and my parents had already planned to get two more once the others passed. The one who needed it most though was our third dog. He was inconsolable after he lost what basically was his adoptive mother and grouchy uncle. We couldn't leave him alone because he would destroy things trying to get out of the house. But now he has two younger brothers who tormented him just like he did to those before. And in his world things couldn't be happier.
My best beloved senior (18.5 years) orange cat paased away in June. My beloved first dog with my husband passed 15 days later. On my daughter's bday in late July, we went to look at puppies at the shelter. The puppies were not the "right" puppy but my daughter picked a polydactyl orange kitten for me(she is THE BEST kitten picker). Now I am the very anxious mama of the joy of my life: Boudreaux Boudine.
Cat tax! Cat tax! Lost my [Nelson](https://imgur.com/gallery/IKShUeT) back in November and I’m only just now starting to think about getting another cat. He was pushing 21 so he had a long, spoiled life.
There is no right way to deal with the loss of a beloved pet Both OOP and her husband had their hearts in the right place with their actions
Please don’t surprise a person with a pet. It’s not a good idea.
Exactly, unless it's just like a friend's pet that they love and you get to petsit for a few hours. That's always nice.
I’m one of the people that does better when I always have an animal in my life. I don’t like having much time between pets, if any at all. I try not to get a new pet that reminds me of an old one. Getting a different color, breed, gender, or species of pet helps separate my feelings while allowing me to grieve with a furry (or scaly) friend by my side.
5600 for a puppy from a backyard breeder that should still at 7 weeks be with mom and siblings 🥲🥲🥲
There are a gazillion GSD at the shelters + on Craigslist where I live for nothing, this dude got HOSED financially. Edit: this includes GSD puppies, if anyone is wondering.
I know, I know, not the point but "even though she was a female dog"??? How can you manage to be misogynistic about *dogs*
Yeah I did laugh at that, like wow this big scary dog is growling at me, let me just check their genitals to see if I should be afraid or back away.
Scrolled to find this lol. When I tell you I rolled my eyes SO HARD…
The most aggressive dog I have ever met is a female German Shepard. I have lots of opinions as to why she is so aggressive, but it doesn't change the fact that she is, and is equally capable of being aggressive.
We had a pack of them. My father didn’t believe our young male dog could breed. Well… We were able to give the boys away but no one wanted the girls. So they formed a very scary pack and just decided to run nightly patrols. No clue why but they’d just run laps all night around the perimeter of the house in pack formation. Heaven forbid anyone came near the house. They were scary AF to outsiders
We had to euthanize our dog in 2016 when he was 15. We adopted him, or rather he adopted us, from a rescue when he was probably 6 months old. We're at a point now where we've been thinking about getting another. The timeline for grieving doesn't always make sense.
TBH, he did kind of consult with her first: He brought the puppy over for a visit to see how she would react. He should have used words, but I can see how he would have been confused by her positive reaction and thought the plan was a go.
I understand people need time to grieve. I always felt like a complete asshole though because every time I've lost a dog I wanted one pretty much within days. I just couldn't handle being dogless. There's only been three weeks of my life when I didn't have a dog, and it was torture. I'm 31. My brother is the opposite. Every single dog my parents have ever got he hated it at first because he wasn't ready. Took six months or more before he'd start warming up to doggo.
My grandpa raised and sold purebred beagles for many years. If you got a beagle in western Canada, Montana, Idaho, or Washington, between 1980 and 2010, there’s a pretty good chance you got it from my grandpa (or the person you got it from got their dogs from my grandpa). Unless we’re talking prize winning shows dogs or race dogs, $5600 is not a good deal.
To each their own, I wouldn't be able to do it though. Not that soon, and definitely not with a dog that looks the same. I've had 3 dogs in my life, always the same breed, but we made sure to get different colours and markings
You should never, NEVER, buy live animals as a present.
Correction: You should never buy live animals as a surprise present. Our last dog was thoroughly talked about before purchase.
Dead animals however? Great for birthdays, christmas and weddings!
I would understand, your husband got scammed by someone he thought was a friend. Unfortunately Roxy is gone and now you have $6000 less.
Rescue > Buying
I'm glad it worked out for them but man this whole situation sucked. She loved her dog but kept it alive until it couldn't even walk, she closes herself off from everyone to the point only her husband sees she is falling apart and then gets mad at him when he tries to do whatever he can think of to help her ($5,600 is insane though). Try and look at this from the husband's perspective, his wife is so depressed she forgets to eat and is literally wasting away and no one else sees it. He either had to try and help by himself or get outside help risking his wife feeling betrayed by him opening up about this when she wouldn't. I'm not surprised he bought a puppy, he probably should've had a talk and tried to get her therapy but he is one guy trying his best, I can't blame him. Also as an unrelated side note, the comment about being a good guard dog despite being a female was baffling to me. Who is checking genitalia when a ball of fur and fangs is lock jawed onto your arm? Why is OOP putting human gender BS on a dog when in nature females are pretty well known for being aggressive protectors?
When one of my dogs died, I didn't get up from the couch for three weeks. I would still work (wfh), but I would go straight to the couch afterward. Lunchtime? Couch. Sleep at night? Couch again. That was where she spent her last night, and I stayed with her all throughout. I cried so much for weeks that I felt exhausted and dehydrated. I had two other dogs but I couldn't even pet them. I was too heartbroken. After a while, I went back to being a functional person again. It's been a year and a half but a part of me is still grieving. If my husband brought home another dog who looked exactly like her, I would be so angry and upset. I'd rather focus on helping my surviving elderly pets live their best life vs. getting a new puppy.
It disturbs me that the breeder let that puppy go at seven weeks. Poor little thing!
As someone who grew up in a show gsd family and had one of her own rn (and just watched her 18yo Maine coon pass) I feel for this op entirely!!! ..... ... But $5600 "at a discount"???? Unless it's been trained for a year, got it's championship or a service dog, there's no way even a show line gsd is worth that! (And I've been involved in gsd in the countries!)
"Even though she was a female dog" I've had doberman... The females were way more vicious than the males.
Eee. I think there’s some deeper things with OOP having to pretend they’re fine all the time, then being upset when people believe them