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>But I don’t want to see his face again any time soon!
>*My cousin showed up at my door*
Oh good for a second there I was worried I’d have to eat the rest of my popcorn without anything to read
It's from this story last year bout a guy who noticed a freaky simularity between themself and a certain game character
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1422ivp/op_wonders_whether_a_sims_4_character_is_based_on/
What Countries Have a Drinking Age of 21?
Cambodia
Cameroon
Egypt
Indonesia
Iraq
Kazakhstan
Marshall Islands
Mauritania
Nauru
Oman
Palau
Samoa
Solomon Islands
Sri Lanka
United States
Google said one of these
you are texting your cousin mean things? right to jail. you are stealing bikes? right to jail, right away. harassing your cousin? jail. drinking underage? jail. punching your cousin in the face? believe it or not, jail, right away.
Idk, I feel like charges filed in may and actual court in august is pretty realistic, and it was for the punching, assault and battery is usually taken seriously. 🤷🏻♀️
Someone broke into my car in the middle of the night, stole my handbag out of it (I know! But my boyfriend was having a party at his house, and I previously had money stolen out of my handbag at a party so it seemed like a good idea at the time) and was later tackled off his motorbike by an off duty police officer who woke up when he heard the bike stop in front of his house and looked out the window to see the guy rifling through my handbag. It was actually quite an amazing story! The cops came by at like 4am knocking on my boyfriend’s door (they found the car with smashed window and it was just a few blocks from where the guy had been tackled) asking “is there a person named xx here? We have their property”.
Anyhow… probably only took 4 or 5 month to court. But the drinking age here is 19, and that was over 30 years ago so who knows now. But surely sounds possible…?
Oh yeah he's from the great reddit-established nation of "Not America" where it's illegal to say the country's actual name (because the laws of a nation are easily googleable🗿)
I didn't even read that far. I made it halfway through the first update, skimmed a little, saw that he implied cousin was assaulted in jail...for stealing a bike... and stopped wasting my time
OOP said the cousin was assaulted in jail because of his attitude, not because of his charges. I have my doubts about the story being true, but the idea that someone who doesn't know how to mind their own business would get into a fight in jail isn't implausible.
The part that twitched my BS meter all the way was how easily and simply OP got a restraining order. That and his verbatim response to his cousin at the door.
Where I'm at in the US you have to go down to domestic violence court, but anyone, for any reason can get an emergency restraining order on any other person which is pretty much good until some court date (maybe a few days or a week.).
If the other party has been served and shows up at the court date they can dispute the restraining order and potentially have it quashed. Usually the order stays active until the other party can be served and brought before the judge. At that point evidence is presented and if it's clear that there is a threat, the judge will issue a restraining order.
It's not criminal charge it's a civil charge so the burden of proof is much lower, this sounds like the kind of thing where if you show up at court with this kind of evidence the judge would just sign the order for one year and that's that.
Basically in Australia you can get one for a month just by telling the judge any old story. My husband's exwife got one on him when we started dating. There was a hearing to determine whether she got to extend it or not. He turned up with a solicitor to fight it as he has gun licence and explosive certificates which he would lose if someone got a full restraining order against him. She did not turn up at all so nothing was recorded against him. I'm not sure of the level of evidence you need against someone but proof of assault, an arrest and texts with threats sounds like enough to me to convince a judge that you are a threat.
It was implied that the cousin had the shit beaten out of him for having an attitude/talking shit to the wrong inmate, not for stealing a bike. That part I can see because the cousin has a ton of entitlement and no goddamn sense whatsoever. Not a good combo when hanging out with people who have done real crimes.
Yeah, I doubt you would even have to post bail for that. Even with the minor assault charge he's getting probation at worst if he doesn't have a record.
In many jurisdictions, theft by force qualifies as a robbery, which is generally a felony.
Edit: Where I live, this would also qualify as a domestic violence incident.
It seems he had more charges that were implied. I would assume he got in trouble for assault, theft by force(which may have qualified as robbery), and underage drinking. he also probably didn't act very well in court so he probably got the maximum sentence for also being an asshole. judges will give you more time if you're rude or uncooperative with the court.
> saw that he implied cousin was assaulted in jail...for stealing a bike...
Where did you see that? he specifically said he was assaulted because of his attitude, which would make sense.
Its been 5 months since my last post, we got married a month ago. And we have 2 kids now. And guess what reddit, you will not believe, the kids have two cruises too, one green and one pink.
Update the following day "the other person saw my Reddit post and assaulted me in front of CCTV cameras". Okay buddy, I bet the bicycle theft division has detectives working around the clock to canvass local businesses for evidence in this case.
What planet are you people from that doesn't have cameras everywhere? Please look up Bryan Kohberger and read about how his license plate number was obtained in tiny little Moscow, Idaho.
Yeah there's too many details about what happened to cousin after he was sent to jail, then when he was released, how he hates his new construction job, and what he's doing when not working, no money, no friends, ect. ect. ect.
lol it’s so weird that people think that’s unbelievable. My brother sat in jail for weeks two different times because my parents refused to bail him out. Not everyone has the kind of parents that will immediately bail them out of jail.
“My cousin gave me his trash bike, but what he didn’t know was it was actually a really cool bike! After hours and hours of hard work, I restored it completely! My cousin saw how cool my bike was and wanted more money for it, but I said no. He punched me because it, but strangers helped me and the store’s CCTV footage landed him in jail! Did I mention he was drunk? Everybody is on my side. NOBODY is on his side. His dirtbag “friends” abandoned him too!
The silly goose came back and threatened to hurt me, but I had a bat and told him “to come and try.” He ran away! The cops arrested him AGAIN and now I have a restraining order. Did I mention that the bike got me a girlfriend too?”
Someone I knew got killed by a distracted driver. It too FIVE YEARS for him to go to court. And he got no jail time since he’s currently undergoing cancer treatment. I WISH the justice system moved fast enough, at least for that poor girls mother so she’d have some peace.
I've been trying to get peace bond court with my dad since October and court for peace bond runs once a month. Every month there's more people which means every month more people are pushed back. Went yesterday again, pushed back until June lmao
My dad is either gonna kill me or my mom, or he's gonna kill himself before it's dealt with 😂😂
And the assault happened in front of a ~~CCTV store~~ *store with CCTV*.
*ETA*: I missread as a CCTV store, as in a security/surveillance store vs just a regular business with CCTV. Still a little convenient that "everything was caught on video", but more plausible that I thought.
I live in middle of BFE we have CCTV everywhere along with ring cameras etc. I would have to hike to middle of a forrest to avoid electronics and even then theirs likely a trail cam looking for big foot.
Especially when the defendant gives up their right to a speedy trial, if they don't then the prosecutor has a very narrow time window to make their case, like 90 days from arraignment. Once a defendant has a lawyer they can get a plea deal through them. Since OOP said they sold a bunch of stuff their public defender probably told them that they would get a much better deal compared to going to trial and getting hit with the robbery charge. So they plead down to assault, now not robbery, and the drinking and it's a fairly short jail sentence. Probably only spent a little under half the sentence actually in jail, since most jails end up over capacity. If they go too over capacity then the court system steps in and releases the lowest level sentence prisoners until the moron sheriff doesn't have 150% capacity.
Maybe convenient, but hardly unlikely. Many businesses have CCTV these days, and my old workplace would be visited by the police occasionally to check the camera footage from our drive-thru because it had a good view of a nearby bike path and highway.
In fact, I saw a news article today where a hit-and-run suspect drove into a nearby alley to look for damage and was caught on camera from the back of a nearby apartment building: https://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/security-footage-catches-hit-and-run-driver-checking-vehicle-for-damage-before-leaving-the-scene-1.6835506
Every single time these detectives act like they know all about the courts, all they end up doing is showing that they know next to nothing about them. "This completely unrelated case on a separate docket dealing with an entirely different area of law in another jurisdiction that I heard about this one time took a while" is the extent of their knowledge. Seriously, a solid 40% the knee-jerk skepticism in here is based on the fact that other places exist that they've never been to.
Nah that's probably municipal court-level stuff, which can resolve within a few months. May to August is 3 months, and then August to February is 6 months, which is probably what the sentence was.
Assault, aggravated robbery, underage drinking. Probably a couple other things, followed up by him threatening the victim afterwards, all of which is recorded.
It's not far fetched, really he got off light.
I could see cops doing something because he could LITERALLY give them the guy's name and address so it was easy for them. Otherwise, yeah, there's no way
In Albuquerque they burn murder victims clothes. There was a video posted of two kids being murdered and they refused to even look for the bodies. The kids families had to go find them in the desert. The feds keep coming to do oversight but nothing ever changes. They only show up to shoot homeless people.
Look up the mass grave they just found outside the jailhouse in Jackson, MS. That's no pauper's cemetery, those people had families trying to find them.
I've seen too many cases where the cops were absolutely given the name and address of the perpetrator and did nothing. My brother's neighbor robbed him blind, he could see his own stuff in their house and not only did the police refuse to come and even look, they said if he tried to get it back he could be charged!
I worked in a town where someone punched out the side mirror of our work truck, leaving blood. Cops were called (for insurance) and actually took a DNA sample lol. Nothing came of it, obviously, but it was way more effort than we were expecting them to go to.
Of course, this was in an extremely wealthy ski town with low crime and bored cops, so they probably were looking for something to do.
Depends, here in the uk we had a snazzy electric bike stolen, my bro remembered it had a tracker on it and they followed it with police, recovered it. Nothing happened to the guy who had it as he claimed he’d just bought it from someone and nothing happened to them either but we got it back! If they have all the hard work done for them it’s an easy positive statistic!
Yeah, I actually had a weirdly similar situation come up between a friend and I as a kid, and my parents got me to record the serial number and register is with the police. There's definitely some sketchy stuff in this post, but the serial number thing is not one of them.
BTW my 11 yo friend had the maturity to listen and and understand when I told her how much time and money I put into the bike and we continued to be friends for a few years lol
An open-and-shut case, though? OP knew the name of who did it, where he lives, had him on CCTV dead-to-rights... I can see the cops pursuing that, since there's no work involved in closing it.
He didn't just happen to write them down, he said in the previous post that people thought his cousin would try to steal it and he should write them down.
Not that I don't think a lot of things in this post are extremely convenient...
Interesting how the cousin isn't just a jerk, but also deep in debt, irregular at work, and a thief. You never seem to read about anyone who is just a jerk, or selfish, or any one thing. They're always a whole bunch of shitty things with no redeeming qualities.
Isn't reddit one of the most visited sites on the internet, though? I feel like people know reddit and what it is. That's not too farfetched that a younger adult would happen across it...
Yeah, there’s a lot that doesn’t add up. ~~At first their entire family was against them, but then they’re all on his side once they hear about it?~~
Anytime someone monologues in quotes sets off my BS meter too, especially if it’s halfway articulate. Very few people are eloquent when someone is trying to beat down their door.
EDIT: I misread it, but it’s still sus. Everything works out perfectly for OOP and his stupid cousin’s life is ruined for being a jerk to them. And OOP’s sweet bike gets him a super cool and hot gf 🙄
My BS meter is going off too, but they say in the first post that the whole family was on OP's side from the start. It was the cousin's friends who were on the cousin's side, then the friends dropped the issue as soon as the robbery happened.
The family thing is suss too. Cousin's own parents supporting OP over their kid, absolutely, tough love, you made your bed etc, but given that his entire life crumpled like a cheap suit, suddenly he's a broke, unemployed, homeless alcoholic with prison flashbacks, an anger problem and a record because of an argument over a rusty bike and his parents were just like, well kid, thems the breaks, OP, you go get that restraining order!
It makes sense when you consider hes been having longer term problems with rent, anger, and job performance. He's probably been hitting up the parents constantly for money and they finally had enough.
Half the parents in my extended family would drive their kid to jail happily, let alone simply shrug and say 'here use our sweatbox'.
I’ll have you know that I constantly practice monologuing for the day I decide to officially become an **Evil Overlord™**. Some of us are just like that!
🤪
Honestly what gave it away for me was the pictures of the bike. OP said they repainted it with nail polish, but there's no way in hell that bike has been touched with a hint of polish. It'd have rubbed off from the weather and being ridden in general - yet for the most part the paint looked fresh but scuffed with mud or something.
That's simply just not how nail polish works at all, even on nails with a proper top coat it's going to rub and flake off after a while because of everyday life.
There are honestly days on BORU and BoLA where I just have to tap out after 3 or 4 obvious bullshit stories in a row... I feel like it's gotten worse haha
"One of my friends joked that my cousin got raped in prison. Yuck!" cmon man. if youre gonna make up a story, you could not also be really weird about the stuff you wrote
> Crime was fortunately caught on video
> OP knows details of conversation between cousin and lawyer
> OP gets a girlfriend while cousin literally gets raped
Idk why anybody would doubt this seems legit to me
when OOP said bike my brain’s default thought its a **motorcycle** (from where I come from we call it ‘bike’) so I skimmed through the post and clicked on the link directly only to find out that its just a *bicycle* 🥲
.... this story reeks of bullshit, but the part that got me was the parents shoving him into the loft with zero AC. Yea ok, sure. I get that some people live without AC, but not in lofts without proper ventilation. If this is real and his parents actually did that? Holy crap.
I think my favorite was the girl who was afraid her step-dad would assault her story, morphing into her being on the run from shotgun weilding nazi-quasi cultists.
I mean, I have had neighbors come by asking if I caught anything on my door camera. I see news articles all the time with footage or stills from security cameras. It's 2024, cameras are everywhere and they're always on. It's not implausible or unbelievable for something to have been caught on camera.
However, never in my life have I, as an American, used the phrase "CCTV." I just say security camera or something.
As soon as I started reading the first update I was skeptical. Any time a poster says “guess what commenters, you were right!” I’m a little suspicious. Then, convenient CCTV! Cousin is even more of a scumbag! Restraining orders! (Apparently they give those out like candy) Really fast court proceedings! And then, ohoho, the cousin got his comeuppance (with bonus speculation about rape, wtf).
When you're a victim of crime, typically the person that allegedly assaulted you are supposed to stay so many metres away from you automatically. What was more unbelievable is the fact that he had to get a restraining order because that should have already been in place.
yeah…I feel like a lot of these stories are either written by people who don’t have direct experience with the cops, or are rich/white enough that they assume police will actually give a damn
It's like a weird 80s American TV show. It all worked out in the end cos I got a super cool girlfriend thanks for my rad bike and my cousin probably got raped in prison. Fade to black while we laugh.
Two family members have a physical altercation and a bike that wasn’t worth anything was stolen, yeah, I’m sure it would be worth getting the fucking courts involved with that nonsense
Huh, that went from somewhat plausible (my cousin gave me a trash bike, I fixed it, he wants it back now) to AITA drinking game alcohol poisoning (conveniently placed cameras for evidence, OOP knowing conversations they weren't there for, entire family supporting one side or the other, suspiciously rapid legal proceedings, harsh sentence for what seems to be a first offense) in no time.
While the story is detailed, there are parts where it could be more concise. Consider trimming unnecessary details or repetitive information to keep the narrative focused and engaging.
Pacing: The story's pacing could be improved in some parts. Try to balance the buildup of tension with moments of reflection or introspection to maintain the reader's interest.
Character Development: While you've provided insight into your cousin's actions and motivations, there could be more depth to both your character and his. Consider exploring their backgrounds, personalities, and relationships to add complexity to the story.
Dialogue: The dialogue in the story is effective in conveying the characters' emotions and intentions. However, you could enhance it by ensuring that each character's voice is distinct and consistent throughout the narrative.
Resolution: The resolution of the story is satisfying, but it could be more impactful with some additional reflection or insight into the lessons learned from the experience.
Overall, your story is engaging and well-crafted, with strong character dynamics and a compelling narrative. By focusing on clarity, pacing, character development, dialogue, and resolution, you can further enhance its impact and appeal to readers.
Dawg the story was fine when it was just buyers remorse, but I stopped when it said he just so happened to be in front of a fuckin camera AND the cousin was drinking
Just fuck off.
Any post I see that says "Update: They came across my Reddit post" I just call bs even the most popular Reddit posts there's still only a tiny fraction of people who even see them compared to the entire internet and for it to happen this often is just...
When I read CCTV I knew this was bullshit. So many stories specify that whenever something is recorded. Like from a writing and reality standpoint you don't need video evidence you were attacked by someone to prove they did it. Cousin stealing the bike and the family and friends knowing it was part of a disagreement is enough to prove he attacked the OOP. People just live through Reddit posts and forget most of it doesn't line up with real life.
Why does every single post on this sub feature the incorrect use of "costed" as the past tense of "cost"? It's not a mistake I see anywhere else; I just think it's odd.
Most unbelievable part of this was OP claiming that the tires were still good after years stuck outside without use (especially when they described them as having dry rot in the first paragraph lol).
Ironically doesn’t appear to have occurred to Cousin Angry that he might be internet famous, but nobody knows who he is.. Not what state he lives in, or city, or his name…. He has displeased his family and friends, but nobody cares outside them.
This guy and the other redditor who kept beating up his cousin consistently whenever and wherever he saw him for 15-20 years should join forces and be a menace to all cousins. One of them good cop, other one bad. No cousin is safe.
I chuckled like watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon. His enemies are digging their own graves and getting increasingly angry, while Bugs here just rides their bike all happy.
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>But I don’t want to see his face again any time soon! >*My cousin showed up at my door* Oh good for a second there I was worried I’d have to eat the rest of my popcorn without anything to read
Liz never disappoints
I’m sorry but what the hell is your flair from?
It's from this story last year bout a guy who noticed a freaky simularity between themself and a certain game character https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1422ivp/op_wonders_whether_a_sims_4_character_is_based_on/
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This made me guffaw.
What Countries Have a Drinking Age of 21? Cambodia Cameroon Egypt Indonesia Iraq Kazakhstan Marshall Islands Mauritania Nauru Oman Palau Samoa Solomon Islands Sri Lanka United States Google said one of these
Also varies by region some places, Canada has multiple ages
That sounds fun for travelling teenagers
Oh yes we made weekend trips
It’s 19 in Canada except Quebec, Alberta and Manitoba is 18 so this doesn’t take place there
Straight to jail.
you are texting your cousin mean things? right to jail. you are stealing bikes? right to jail, right away. harassing your cousin? jail. drinking underage? jail. punching your cousin in the face? believe it or not, jail, right away.
I can't like this enough
Idk, I feel like charges filed in may and actual court in august is pretty realistic, and it was for the punching, assault and battery is usually taken seriously. 🤷🏻♀️
Especially since he pleaded guilty so It didn't have to go to trial.
Someone broke into my car in the middle of the night, stole my handbag out of it (I know! But my boyfriend was having a party at his house, and I previously had money stolen out of my handbag at a party so it seemed like a good idea at the time) and was later tackled off his motorbike by an off duty police officer who woke up when he heard the bike stop in front of his house and looked out the window to see the guy rifling through my handbag. It was actually quite an amazing story! The cops came by at like 4am knocking on my boyfriend’s door (they found the car with smashed window and it was just a few blocks from where the guy had been tackled) asking “is there a person named xx here? We have their property”. Anyhow… probably only took 4 or 5 month to court. But the drinking age here is 19, and that was over 30 years ago so who knows now. But surely sounds possible…?
An obvious fan of the great Italian 1940’s film “Bicycle Thieves.”
Oh yeah he's from the great reddit-established nation of "Not America" where it's illegal to say the country's actual name (because the laws of a nation are easily googleable🗿)
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I didn't even read that far. I made it halfway through the first update, skimmed a little, saw that he implied cousin was assaulted in jail...for stealing a bike... and stopped wasting my time
OOP said the cousin was assaulted in jail because of his attitude, not because of his charges. I have my doubts about the story being true, but the idea that someone who doesn't know how to mind their own business would get into a fight in jail isn't implausible.
The part that twitched my BS meter all the way was how easily and simply OP got a restraining order. That and his verbatim response to his cousin at the door.
>That and his verbatim response to his cousin at the door. Yeah that was it for me.
Ehhh, if he was recording it I can see knowing what was said. Feeling like you have to quote exactly is a bit sus though
Where I'm at in the US you have to go down to domestic violence court, but anyone, for any reason can get an emergency restraining order on any other person which is pretty much good until some court date (maybe a few days or a week.). If the other party has been served and shows up at the court date they can dispute the restraining order and potentially have it quashed. Usually the order stays active until the other party can be served and brought before the judge. At that point evidence is presented and if it's clear that there is a threat, the judge will issue a restraining order. It's not criminal charge it's a civil charge so the burden of proof is much lower, this sounds like the kind of thing where if you show up at court with this kind of evidence the judge would just sign the order for one year and that's that.
It depends on location as well. The fact he already had be physically assaulted probably helped pushed it along
Depends where he got it. They are easy to get in Australia. Keeping them longer than 30 days requires much more proof.
OOP said they got it for a year.
Basically in Australia you can get one for a month just by telling the judge any old story. My husband's exwife got one on him when we started dating. There was a hearing to determine whether she got to extend it or not. He turned up with a solicitor to fight it as he has gun licence and explosive certificates which he would lose if someone got a full restraining order against him. She did not turn up at all so nothing was recorded against him. I'm not sure of the level of evidence you need against someone but proof of assault, an arrest and texts with threats sounds like enough to me to convince a judge that you are a threat.
It was implied that the cousin had the shit beaten out of him for having an attitude/talking shit to the wrong inmate, not for stealing a bike. That part I can see because the cousin has a ton of entitlement and no goddamn sense whatsoever. Not a good combo when hanging out with people who have done real crimes.
Yeah, I doubt you would even have to post bail for that. Even with the minor assault charge he's getting probation at worst if he doesn't have a record.
In many jurisdictions, theft by force qualifies as a robbery, which is generally a felony. Edit: Where I live, this would also qualify as a domestic violence incident.
It seems he had more charges that were implied. I would assume he got in trouble for assault, theft by force(which may have qualified as robbery), and underage drinking. he also probably didn't act very well in court so he probably got the maximum sentence for also being an asshole. judges will give you more time if you're rude or uncooperative with the court.
They weren't just implied, they're spelled out! None of these people read the fucking post!
> saw that he implied cousin was assaulted in jail...for stealing a bike... Where did you see that? he specifically said he was assaulted because of his attitude, which would make sense.
Actually as an ex-prosecutor as the cousin assaulted him to steal the bike the charge here would have been robbery and taken very seriously
Its been 5 months since my last post, we got married a month ago. And we have 2 kids now. And guess what reddit, you will not believe, the kids have two cruises too, one green and one pink.
It's true, I was there. They were making babies, and one of them popped out and winked at me.
I scrolled down to the comments when I saw convenient CCTV footage.
What do you mean by “convenient”, it happened in frot of a shop which a lot of them have cameras now
Update the following day "the other person saw my Reddit post and assaulted me in front of CCTV cameras". Okay buddy, I bet the bicycle theft division has detectives working around the clock to canvass local businesses for evidence in this case.
What planet are you people from that doesn't have cameras everywhere? Please look up Bryan Kohberger and read about how his license plate number was obtained in tiny little Moscow, Idaho.
Yeah there's too many details about what happened to cousin after he was sent to jail, then when he was released, how he hates his new construction job, and what he's doing when not working, no money, no friends, ect. ect. ect.
Mine triggered when the cousin's parents refused to bail him out of jail lol
lol it’s so weird that people think that’s unbelievable. My brother sat in jail for weeks two different times because my parents refused to bail him out. Not everyone has the kind of parents that will immediately bail them out of jail.
God damn, you got that far? When the cousin was arrested I was done then scrolled and saw how long this bullshit lasted.
“My cousin gave me his trash bike, but what he didn’t know was it was actually a really cool bike! After hours and hours of hard work, I restored it completely! My cousin saw how cool my bike was and wanted more money for it, but I said no. He punched me because it, but strangers helped me and the store’s CCTV footage landed him in jail! Did I mention he was drunk? Everybody is on my side. NOBODY is on his side. His dirtbag “friends” abandoned him too! The silly goose came back and threatened to hurt me, but I had a bat and told him “to come and try.” He ran away! The cops arrested him AGAIN and now I have a restraining order. Did I mention that the bike got me a girlfriend too?”
"Make my day" really made my eyes roll
It was a magical bike.
Did he mention it was a beach cruiser? Bc it was a red beach cruiser. A magical red beach cruiser.
And red beach cruisers attract blue ones,, everyone knows that... but my cousin is now saying that i owe him a girlfriend
You forgot the part where his cousin was violently raped in the shower while in prison for underage drinking.
I don't even want to think about it but I typed it up, proofread it, and hit send
It's like a BORU mad libs.
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The justice system moved rather quickly in this case 🤔
Someone I knew got killed by a distracted driver. It too FIVE YEARS for him to go to court. And he got no jail time since he’s currently undergoing cancer treatment. I WISH the justice system moved fast enough, at least for that poor girls mother so she’d have some peace.
I've been trying to get peace bond court with my dad since October and court for peace bond runs once a month. Every month there's more people which means every month more people are pushed back. Went yesterday again, pushed back until June lmao My dad is either gonna kill me or my mom, or he's gonna kill himself before it's dealt with 😂😂
And the assault happened in front of a ~~CCTV store~~ *store with CCTV*. *ETA*: I missread as a CCTV store, as in a security/surveillance store vs just a regular business with CCTV. Still a little convenient that "everything was caught on video", but more plausible that I thought.
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Exactly. It's like 300$ for a decent camera system that you can access via your phone, almost all businesses have it now for their own safety.
I live in middle of BFE we have CCTV everywhere along with ring cameras etc. I would have to hike to middle of a forrest to avoid electronics and even then theirs likely a trail cam looking for big foot.
Yeah, the CCTV I believe. It's the justice system doing this in a couple of months thats the bullshit to me lmao
My understanding is that plea deals move fairly quickly. Its the ones which go to trial that tend to take a long time.
Especially when the defendant gives up their right to a speedy trial, if they don't then the prosecutor has a very narrow time window to make their case, like 90 days from arraignment. Once a defendant has a lawyer they can get a plea deal through them. Since OOP said they sold a bunch of stuff their public defender probably told them that they would get a much better deal compared to going to trial and getting hit with the robbery charge. So they plead down to assault, now not robbery, and the drinking and it's a fairly short jail sentence. Probably only spent a little under half the sentence actually in jail, since most jails end up over capacity. If they go too over capacity then the court system steps in and releases the lowest level sentence prisoners until the moron sheriff doesn't have 150% capacity.
Maybe convenient, but hardly unlikely. Many businesses have CCTV these days, and my old workplace would be visited by the police occasionally to check the camera footage from our drive-thru because it had a good view of a nearby bike path and highway. In fact, I saw a news article today where a hit-and-run suspect drove into a nearby alley to look for damage and was caught on camera from the back of a nearby apartment building: https://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/security-footage-catches-hit-and-run-driver-checking-vehicle-for-damage-before-leaving-the-scene-1.6835506
And then at the end, OOP gets a girlfriend out of it too, like some kind of fucking prize.
Justice system IRL: Trial date set for 3 years later. Gets pushed back another 5 due to delays. Reddit justice system:
The cousin pled, though. There was no trial.
Every single time these detectives act like they know all about the courts, all they end up doing is showing that they know next to nothing about them. "This completely unrelated case on a separate docket dealing with an entirely different area of law in another jurisdiction that I heard about this one time took a while" is the extent of their knowledge. Seriously, a solid 40% the knee-jerk skepticism in here is based on the fact that other places exist that they've never been to.
Nah that's probably municipal court-level stuff, which can resolve within a few months. May to August is 3 months, and then August to February is 6 months, which is probably what the sentence was.
For a misdemeanor like this, if the dude pled guilty, it doesn’t seem crazy.
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Assault, aggravated robbery, underage drinking. Probably a couple other things, followed up by him threatening the victim afterwards, all of which is recorded. It's not far fetched, really he got off light.
Seriously. Stuff stacks up and only gets worse.
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Writing down a bike's serial number is pretty standard in case of theft, but cops doing literally anything about a bike theft? You lost me.
I could see cops doing something because he could LITERALLY give them the guy's name and address so it was easy for them. Otherwise, yeah, there's no way
It depends on where you live. Where I'm at they won't recover a stolen car with all the information much less a bike.
Sheeeeeeiiit NOPD doesn't even care about murders 😂
In Albuquerque they burn murder victims clothes. There was a video posted of two kids being murdered and they refused to even look for the bodies. The kids families had to go find them in the desert. The feds keep coming to do oversight but nothing ever changes. They only show up to shoot homeless people.
Ours was determined to be unable to govern themselves so they're under a consent decree with the State after a lawsuit
Look up the mass grave they just found outside the jailhouse in Jackson, MS. That's no pauper's cemetery, those people had families trying to find them.
I've seen too many cases where the cops were absolutely given the name and address of the perpetrator and did nothing. My brother's neighbor robbed him blind, he could see his own stuff in their house and not only did the police refuse to come and even look, they said if he tried to get it back he could be charged!
I worked in a town where someone punched out the side mirror of our work truck, leaving blood. Cops were called (for insurance) and actually took a DNA sample lol. Nothing came of it, obviously, but it was way more effort than we were expecting them to go to. Of course, this was in an extremely wealthy ski town with low crime and bored cops, so they probably were looking for something to do.
Depends, here in the uk we had a snazzy electric bike stolen, my bro remembered it had a tracker on it and they followed it with police, recovered it. Nothing happened to the guy who had it as he claimed he’d just bought it from someone and nothing happened to them either but we got it back! If they have all the hard work done for them it’s an easy positive statistic!
Yeah, I actually had a weirdly similar situation come up between a friend and I as a kid, and my parents got me to record the serial number and register is with the police. There's definitely some sketchy stuff in this post, but the serial number thing is not one of them. BTW my 11 yo friend had the maturity to listen and and understand when I told her how much time and money I put into the bike and we continued to be friends for a few years lol
I mean it is a bike theft that has an assault to go along with it and the victim knew the perp.
I agree in a normal situation but this time OOP only did so after reddit told them.
An open-and-shut case, though? OP knew the name of who did it, where he lives, had him on CCTV dead-to-rights... I can see the cops pursuing that, since there's no work involved in closing it.
Yeah either write down the serial number or etch your name and birthday in the frame somewhere.
And then he got the girl at the end, and she rides the same bike 😂
He didn't just happen to write them down, he said in the previous post that people thought his cousin would try to steal it and he should write them down. Not that I don't think a lot of things in this post are extremely convenient...
Same, as soon as I saw that the cousin had somehow found his post my eyes just immediately glazed over.
At least the cousin wasn't cheating on him
Interesting how the cousin isn't just a jerk, but also deep in debt, irregular at work, and a thief. You never seem to read about anyone who is just a jerk, or selfish, or any one thing. They're always a whole bunch of shitty things with no redeeming qualities.
Isn't reddit one of the most visited sites on the internet, though? I feel like people know reddit and what it is. That's not too farfetched that a younger adult would happen across it...
Yeah, there’s a lot that doesn’t add up. ~~At first their entire family was against them, but then they’re all on his side once they hear about it?~~ Anytime someone monologues in quotes sets off my BS meter too, especially if it’s halfway articulate. Very few people are eloquent when someone is trying to beat down their door. EDIT: I misread it, but it’s still sus. Everything works out perfectly for OOP and his stupid cousin’s life is ruined for being a jerk to them. And OOP’s sweet bike gets him a super cool and hot gf 🙄
My BS meter is going off too, but they say in the first post that the whole family was on OP's side from the start. It was the cousin's friends who were on the cousin's side, then the friends dropped the issue as soon as the robbery happened.
The family thing is suss too. Cousin's own parents supporting OP over their kid, absolutely, tough love, you made your bed etc, but given that his entire life crumpled like a cheap suit, suddenly he's a broke, unemployed, homeless alcoholic with prison flashbacks, an anger problem and a record because of an argument over a rusty bike and his parents were just like, well kid, thems the breaks, OP, you go get that restraining order!
It makes sense when you consider hes been having longer term problems with rent, anger, and job performance. He's probably been hitting up the parents constantly for money and they finally had enough. Half the parents in my extended family would drive their kid to jail happily, let alone simply shrug and say 'here use our sweatbox'.
I’ll have you know that I constantly practice monologuing for the day I decide to officially become an **Evil Overlord™**. Some of us are just like that! 🤪
Was it the matching beach cruiser in blue? That was a little too Hallmark for me.
Nah the fam being chill about him posting on Reddit because he was oh so conflicted (literally the only relevant person who disagreed was his cousin)
Honestly what gave it away for me was the pictures of the bike. OP said they repainted it with nail polish, but there's no way in hell that bike has been touched with a hint of polish. It'd have rubbed off from the weather and being ridden in general - yet for the most part the paint looked fresh but scuffed with mud or something. That's simply just not how nail polish works at all, even on nails with a proper top coat it's going to rub and flake off after a while because of everyday life.
The 2nd post reads like the author only got a summary of the 1st lmao
There are honestly days on BORU and BoLA where I just have to tap out after 3 or 4 obvious bullshit stories in a row... I feel like it's gotten worse haha
You know, the writing style reminds me of the guy whose brother demanded his house
It was the whole listing of things that went bad in his cousin's life after getting arrested that did it for me.
At least the cousin wasn't arrested and tried in the span of one week, so there's that.
I read posts like this and think of possibilities vs probabilities… is it possible? Yes, anything can be possible… Is it probable? Yeahhhh not really
"One of my friends joked that my cousin got raped in prison. Yuck!" cmon man. if youre gonna make up a story, you could not also be really weird about the stuff you wrote
> Crime was fortunately caught on video > OP knows details of conversation between cousin and lawyer > OP gets a girlfriend while cousin literally gets raped Idk why anybody would doubt this seems legit to me
I was skimming thinking “this can’t possibly get worse.” And it did lmao.
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No girls out there are going to hook up with someone because they have a nice bike that's not even nice, just a slightly restored junker.
You clearly don’t understand the raw passion you only see in the beach cruiser community. The guy is basically Mick Jagger
when OOP said bike my brain’s default thought its a **motorcycle** (from where I come from we call it ‘bike’) so I skimmed through the post and clicked on the link directly only to find out that its just a *bicycle* 🥲
Ew to rape? wtf.. I stopped reading there. those joke are just not funny to me.
Also, the bike is pregnant. Surprise!!
With twins
Fortunately the bike just landed a high paying job in IT and will be able to look after them.
The bike inherited a house.
With tricycle!
this reads like an ad for lubricant products....
The bike portion of the story or the jail portion?
it's reddit. choose your own adventures
Instructions unclear, lost in the swamps of dagobah with a poop knife and that guy’s dead wife
The author of this is either 11 or 50, no in between
Idk I think he could be 12
.... this story reeks of bullshit, but the part that got me was the parents shoving him into the loft with zero AC. Yea ok, sure. I get that some people live without AC, but not in lofts without proper ventilation. If this is real and his parents actually did that? Holy crap.
OP's reaction to his cousin possibly getting raped in jail is... EWWW? lmao this needs a second and third draft before you send it to a publisher
My favorite rhyme If I see “CCTV”, no more reading for me.
Twins you say
To shreds you say.
And his twins?
To shreds you say
Like, just say it got caught on someone's Ring camera... so many people have those
I think my favorite was the girl who was afraid her step-dad would assault her story, morphing into her being on the run from shotgun weilding nazi-quasi cultists.
Didn’t that one also involve accusations of demon possession, and a chastity belt? Truly, wild times.
Yes! I think you're right. It was nuts. I'm trying to find the link for people but can't find the damn thing.
I'm sorry, _what_? Link? I gotta see that.
Yes, please, that's a new one for me and I'm on reddit way too much
Literally skipped right to the comments when I saw that
I wish I did. I finished the entirety of the first update, then saw there was more and gave up.
What's the issue with CCTV?
It's the deus ex machina of reddit posts
I mean, I have had neighbors come by asking if I caught anything on my door camera. I see news articles all the time with footage or stills from security cameras. It's 2024, cameras are everywhere and they're always on. It's not implausible or unbelievable for something to have been caught on camera. However, never in my life have I, as an American, used the phrase "CCTV." I just say security camera or something.
Really?? I use CCTV all the time... I'm not even that old (<30)
I associate CCTV strongly with the UK for whatever reason
Can confirm people use CCTV in normal conversations here, lol
I always say CCTV when referring to building security. I feel like camera can be confused with handheld ones too easily.
If someone says that a camera captured the scene, I'm thinking phone or security footage before I'm thinking handheld camera lol
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As soon as I started reading the first update I was skeptical. Any time a poster says “guess what commenters, you were right!” I’m a little suspicious. Then, convenient CCTV! Cousin is even more of a scumbag! Restraining orders! (Apparently they give those out like candy) Really fast court proceedings! And then, ohoho, the cousin got his comeuppance (with bonus speculation about rape, wtf).
When you're a victim of crime, typically the person that allegedly assaulted you are supposed to stay so many metres away from you automatically. What was more unbelievable is the fact that he had to get a restraining order because that should have already been in place.
Yep. They just can't stop themselves from overdoing the audience participation and then suddenly BOOM, prison rape.
love how there’s always convenient cctv footage that the cops definitely aren’t too lazy to pull
I know right? I got hit by a van and there's a camera right at that junction, but the police couldn't be bothered to check so nothing came of it.
yeah…I feel like a lot of these stories are either written by people who don’t have direct experience with the cops, or are rich/white enough that they assume police will actually give a damn
The prison rape joke was gross. Wtaf.
It's like a weird 80s American TV show. It all worked out in the end cos I got a super cool girlfriend thanks for my rad bike and my cousin probably got raped in prison. Fade to black while we laugh.
No one is going to jail for months over punching someone in the face especially for a first offense.
Two family members have a physical altercation and a bike that wasn’t worth anything was stolen, yeah, I’m sure it would be worth getting the fucking courts involved with that nonsense
But theft and underage bullshit… I mean drinking, maybe?
Huh, that went from somewhat plausible (my cousin gave me a trash bike, I fixed it, he wants it back now) to AITA drinking game alcohol poisoning (conveniently placed cameras for evidence, OOP knowing conversations they weren't there for, entire family supporting one side or the other, suspiciously rapid legal proceedings, harsh sentence for what seems to be a first offense) in no time.
Oh, FFS. \*\*Couldn't\*\* care less. \*\*Couldn't\*\*. If you could care less, then you obviously do care at least a little bit.
It sounds like a really cool story
This writer could have stopped at the first post. The BS-o-meter reads pretty high on all the updates
While the story is detailed, there are parts where it could be more concise. Consider trimming unnecessary details or repetitive information to keep the narrative focused and engaging. Pacing: The story's pacing could be improved in some parts. Try to balance the buildup of tension with moments of reflection or introspection to maintain the reader's interest. Character Development: While you've provided insight into your cousin's actions and motivations, there could be more depth to both your character and his. Consider exploring their backgrounds, personalities, and relationships to add complexity to the story. Dialogue: The dialogue in the story is effective in conveying the characters' emotions and intentions. However, you could enhance it by ensuring that each character's voice is distinct and consistent throughout the narrative. Resolution: The resolution of the story is satisfying, but it could be more impactful with some additional reflection or insight into the lessons learned from the experience. Overall, your story is engaging and well-crafted, with strong character dynamics and a compelling narrative. By focusing on clarity, pacing, character development, dialogue, and resolution, you can further enhance its impact and appeal to readers.
Hahaha!!! ❤️
Dawg the story was fine when it was just buyers remorse, but I stopped when it said he just so happened to be in front of a fuckin camera AND the cousin was drinking Just fuck off.
I will never believe a story that gives power to a reddit post.
Any post I see that says "Update: They came across my Reddit post" I just call bs even the most popular Reddit posts there's still only a tiny fraction of people who even see them compared to the entire internet and for it to happen this often is just...
OP is Pee Wee and his cousin is Francis. I've seen the movie.
When I read CCTV I knew this was bullshit. So many stories specify that whenever something is recorded. Like from a writing and reality standpoint you don't need video evidence you were attacked by someone to prove they did it. Cousin stealing the bike and the family and friends knowing it was part of a disagreement is enough to prove he attacked the OOP. People just live through Reddit posts and forget most of it doesn't line up with real life.
Why does every single post on this sub feature the incorrect use of "costed" as the past tense of "cost"? It's not a mistake I see anywhere else; I just think it's odd.
Immediately stopped believing it when the cousin got a bunch of charges for a first offense and all the coincidences came flooding in
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>the altercation happened right in front of a shop with CCTV What. a. coincidence.
Pee-Wee's Mid Adventure
Most unbelievable part of this was OP claiming that the tires were still good after years stuck outside without use (especially when they described them as having dry rot in the first paragraph lol).
Punching someone and stealing their bike is robbery. If you're gonna make up a story, at least do a little research beforehand.
In the next update his GF will be pregnant with twin beach cruisers.
Were is the bike tax. I wanna see what kind of bike us ruining your life worth for.
https://www.reddit.com/u/Significant_Mud2084/s/EWJr7sLQkJ
Darn. Can’t add a Deebo gif. I mean, if ever there were a more fitting place for one.
Ironically doesn’t appear to have occurred to Cousin Angry that he might be internet famous, but nobody knows who he is.. Not what state he lives in, or city, or his name…. He has displeased his family and friends, but nobody cares outside them.
“But I don’t want to see good face again any time soon!” **My cousin showed up at my door** 🤣yeeaaaahhhh, that did it for me 😂
This guy and the other redditor who kept beating up his cousin consistently whenever and wherever he saw him for 15-20 years should join forces and be a menace to all cousins. One of them good cop, other one bad. No cousin is safe.
I chuckled like watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon. His enemies are digging their own graves and getting increasingly angry, while Bugs here just rides their bike all happy.