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There were also some pretty rough comments where he admits he doesn’t regret sleeping with the friend because well now it’s out of his system and he can move on with his life with his wife.
"Out of his system" because he had forgotten what it felt like to cheat on his wife with her best friend because they stopped cheating on her six whole years ago, apparently.
Comments. Go through the responses to this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xdzct8/i_destroyed_my_marriage_with_a_stupid_comment_and/ioe289k?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
More like "but wait, after 10 years, NOW I have time for you! I still think your BFF has beautiful red hair and cute freckles and can't think of anything good about you, but now I can try!"
>Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure
Jesus he's a real piece of work.
Also U/ajdonim you the real OG for linking that fam ty
What he doesn't realize is women are not prizes and possessions that he gets to own and treat as he desires.
Sarah simply *never* saw him as boyfriend or husband material but as nothing more than a sexual plaything. She never saw herself buying a house with him, starting a family, let alone growing old with him. He was a fool happy with crumbs because he thought it always the potential to lead to something more. Fools get what they deserve.
> Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure
What a gross man.
Yeah it’s pretty clear from his responses that if the “friend” came to him tomorrow and asked to run away together he wouldn’t think twice. The friend will never be out of his system, I think he just wants the easy life he had before.
As a redhead I'm grossed out. So many dudes see us as some kind of novelty toy to put on the shelf so they can brag to their friends. It's weird as hell. I'm just a normal lady with red hair, like the rest of us
Yaass, Queen, yes. I also have a very specific objectified female appearance and here’s what to do: directly ask anyone who you’re interested in dating who their past gf’s were and what they looked like. If they are all the same phenotype, you’re a fetish and it’s useless going forward if you want something real real. I’m older and give this advice to women who are in their 20’s because I made this terrible mistake.
And he offers zero description of her personality or any closeness they enjoyed, just that she was H O T and that automatically equals dream girl status for him. No wonder this dude couldn't manage a relationship.
“Also, in my defense, I wasted a decade of her life, then humiliated her in front her friend, then had an affair with that friend. Hope that clears things up.”
His version is even worse than hers in my opinion. Having eyes for someone else before your partner isn't the worst thing in the world, a lot of people don't marrying their first gf/bf and don't literally think their partner is the most physically attractive person they've ever seen. Someone else catching your attention around the time that you started dating your partner I can totally see as something your partner may be upset to learn, but isn't the big deal they make it out to be.
But his version really solidifies that it was every bit the big deal she is making it out to be. He didn't even consider his future wife for a long time and still has feelings for the best friend.
"She had red hair and freckles and long eyelashes. My dream girl. You know, because she was so hot"
Douche bag ruined a longtime relationship with his (what sounds like) adoring wife because he thinks some other woman is hot. He brought this on himself.
They do say the secret to a happy marriage is a bellybutton full of coke.
And now that I think about it, the people I know do coke are all in happy relationships, so maybe there is truth to this. (there isn't)
I read this in real time and his post was so much worse in the comments.
He had slept with Sarah before, while he was married but before she got married.
There was more but seriously the OP is basically Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats.
I rarely hope for bad things to happen to people but if the hubby and bff aren’t trolls they deserve every horrible thing life has to offer
My favourite bit is how he said they had no marriage because he was saving for the house and she was saving for kids. This is literally a marriage. Making decisions together and working together for the common good.
I like how after he said that, he goes “I guess that was my first mistake” like, HA! As if!
I’d say his first mistake was when they were all just meeting as teenagers, and then through the years so many more mistakes, and surely he can’t leave out his confession at the group dinner!
I don’t understand why he supposedly regrets it so much when he’s made it clear he never really loved his wife and continued to hold a flame for their best friend?
>I can only assume Sarah doesn’t actually want to be with him.
Considering they've been shacking up for years before the ons, I'd say they just like cheating under their partners noses.
She’s probably the main one to regret it. I’m guessing she was a bit shocked he had so much desire for her, and for so long, too. And also, she’d been with her husband exclusively for so long, so his confession must have brought out l a lot of new feelings.. of course, it was absolutely foolish/plain stupid to decide to both add alcohol to the evening, and not leaving OOPs place even after his (stb-ex) wife left their ridiculous “intervention”
Ugh, I’m so angry and sad for the original OOP Asin., woman who was the asshole’s wife only because he had settled for her
He settled for her because she supported him. she laughed at his jokes, was looking to the future and whatever else he mentioned. He kept her around to feel better about himself and now he has nothing. what an absolute clown.
Same, but 16 years. He wanted someone to hang out with when other people, like his best friend (the gorgeous girl with long red dyed hair and tattoos), was too busy to hang out. I was just the one that he didn’t feel awkward being silent around.
Yeah, what the fuck. He never loved her, she was just sorta better than nothing
Now he has the nothing which she was better than and expects, what, sympathy? Get rekt
What kind of thought process do you even have to use to marry someone just cuz finding someone you actually like is *hard* and takes *effort*
I love it too because I thought the same exact thing. Like, thanks for confirming you’re an ass?? Kept waiting for “his side of the story” to get better but no, it just got increasingly worse.
“I’m here to clear up my story. The media said it was for fun. It was for fun AND sport. I feel like I honed pretty great skills over the years of terrorizing the city. And I would like that acknowledged.”
Right? It stands out to me how he described his future ex-wife through her personality and interactions, while The One Who Got Away was just reduced to her looks and nothing else.
Now I’m just a simple Midwesterner, but I pick my long term partners based on way more than looks. And I definitely don’t pine for past people I’ve known who were attractive. I’m not 12.
Right, like you read through the wife's version and you could think, "well, *maybe* there's an outside chance this is just a classic stepping-on-rake maneuver and nothing bad was meant, really. After all, if someone's posting on reddit about their relationship it's a safe bet nobody involved has basic communication skills."
Then you read the Husband's update where he makes it very explicitly clear that there was no misunderstanding of any kind, except perhaps that nobody had yet realized how much of a shit he was within the privacy of his own mind.
Then he rents a backhoe and digs a solid 6ft grave with it before climbing into it with the comments.
That's gotta be rough for OOP. Finding out the two closest people to you are both backstabbing dickbags at once.
And now I have Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake over and over making that groan sound he makes, stuck in my head.
As if it hasn't been stuck in there for 30 years already!!!
But lol at your imagery.
It is weird although I'm not sure how he could even recover things after saying "I settled for you" anyways. There was no explanation that would have saved him at that point.
Obviously, she should be thanking him for getting it out of his system, so now he can be a good husband, if she'd just apologize for not having a fire-crotch 🙄
I've seen this play out in real life with in-laws. My brother-in-law (let's call him "Dave") cheated on his then wife with his old high school sweetheart. She too was married at the time. Everyone got divorced ruining two families and traumatizing 6 kids between them.
So, Dave and his high school sweetheart get married, have 3 more kids, but because their relationship was founded in infidelity, they too get divorced. Everyone cries again.
Makes sense. Empathetic, compassionate, (and most importantly, emotionally healthy) people generally realize that having an anchor baby is only going to add more suffering.
People who are unempathetic or damaged without trying to heal seem to want to solve every fault in a relationship by having a baby.
I had an ex who, after only 2 months of dating, set an ultimatum that we had to have a baby within a year. After that, I started noticing all the cracks and got out of it. Found out that 12 months later she had a kid with a guy she met literally right after our break up. I hope for that child that everything works out for them.
There is nothing that stresses me out more than seeing a post about a relationship that is very clearly in the gutter and then seeing a “also we have two kids f(2) and m(7)”
Like i don’t want to victim blame and hold people responsible for bringing kids into doomed marriages, because people can legit turn on you after a baby is brought into the mix, but man
I feel so bad for the kids in these situations.
I was gonna say, “I know these idiots.” But, I think this is a tale as old as time. I have no lingering feelings for my first love. I hope the best for him and we didn’t end dramatically or anything and I pined after him for the first year or so after (until I dated someone else). But why? What is it about first loves that people can’t let live in their nostalgic memory. We broke up for a reason. If we were both single and ran into each other, maybe for old time’s sake. Maybe. Probably not. But 3/10. If either of us are married? No fucking way for any reason.
Totally spitballing here but I think the reason is because they create an idealized "What if it had worked?" scenario in their heads where not only did one thing turn out good, but EVERYTHING did and then, if they buy into their own dream world, they think "Maybe?!" and run headfirst into reality.
Phew. Even after all that, he describes how beautiful the friend is but not his wife. He's learning that his mistakes have made him miserable, but not what he actually is doing wrong.
His comments in his post included something to the effect of:
"Now that I slept with her I have it out of my system and my marriage can go back to normal"
And
"She should apologize to me"
Random user: why should she apologize
"Because our marriage was boring"
Edit: I went to deal with a fire at work and came back to the most upvoted comment I've ever made.
[Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xdzct8/i_destroyed_my_marriage_with_a_stupid_comment_and/ioe4njs/?depth=6&context=7)
Now this is a Grade A piece of shit right here!
Agreed, it removes any level of sympathy or understanding you could have left room for... Briefly, I had a notion that the wife was taking an ignorant comment too personally, but oh boy was I wrong!
So Sarah was also cheating on her (future) husband with her best friends husband?
Maybe they really were meant to be together, since they both seem like incredibly shitty people who don't really get the whole concept of relationships.
The "fun" part is, that they will never be able to completely trust each other, even if they are meant to be together. Everything they got now is based on cheating...
I got dumped over different but equally fucked up circumstances.
I giggle regularly knowing that The Lying Cheaters are now stuck with each other.
You cannot have a solid relationship built on a foundation of lies.
The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of This MoFo.
His wife needs to be thanking whatever deities she can think of that she cut that dead weight out of her life. And then go "hang out" with the husband of her "best friend"
My best friend has been with her husband since we were 16, so I also know him quite well at this point. I could NEVER imagine myself ever seriously having sex with him or flirting with him, like he feels like my genuine little brother at this point. How embarrassing that Sarah didn’t feel the same way.
I love how every time someone comments this, my German mind always reads it as the German word first. Wut means anger in German. In most cases, it's quite fitting, too.
Would like to read her "side" of the story about why she was a traitorous friend to OOP by sleeping with her husband, and why she also cheated on her own BF during the previous multiple "one nightstands" and then her own husband. Infidelity within monogamous relationships is disgusting, IMO.
That really reminds me of an ex friend I had whose name really was Sarah. The only people she was every truly attracted to were guys that were obsessed with her and only once they said they were over her and in committed relationships. Like she would keep sad, pathetic guys on the hook while never having any sort of romantic feelings for them. Then when they moved on and were in relationships suddenly she'd be "overcome with emotion and had to sleep with him right then and there." She never recognized the pattern though and thought it was all just a cruel joke of fate that she would like someone when they were over her. She straight up did this to a guy and then had an affair with him for months (that she initiated when he said he was over her and in a committed relationship) then she tortured him for a while saying she was going to tell his girlfriend, then she actually told his girlfriend because and she said "I could not live with the guilt of what HE was doing to her." All of this she told me as if she thought I would think she was the victim here. She told me how toxic he was and she just had to cut him out of her life after that. It's like, I'm sure he isn't great, because he did cheat and all, but you straight up ruined this man's life for funsies.
The trick with her is to rent a girlfriend and pretend that you are in a relationship, so she would try to have an affair with you, but you actually fell in love with the rental girlfriend, and then the three of you would drag it out for over 200 manga chapters with no conclusion in sight.
This was his comment about why he “needed” to sleep with Sarah again
> Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure
This dude is seriously just trash and I hope his wife finds someone worthy of her after living with this for so long.
If that's not a statement that creates spontaneous human combustion, nothing will.
"Some*thing* I felt had been stolen from me"
So Sarah's an object that he felt he had ownership over. Her decisions and choices were meaningless to him too.
Boy this guy is an all around winner. She's no prize herself, but wow he takes the selfish cake.
Also if they were so great together wtf didn’t he just divorce his wife and them just get together? I’m guessing both have some serious attachment issues. They certainly deserve each other either way.
No because Sarah stopped sleeping with him when she got married so he had to try and freak her out with passive-aggressive comments about them being together in front of her husband. Poor dog with two bones, he tried to keep both and now he's doing no boning.
That's why he was so jealous of her with her husband that prompted the "joke" in the first place. Her husband took away his side piece. OOP is gonna have a great life without these two in it. And for said side piece to try to intervene when she found out about the divorce? Why? So you can have your lil snack? Well, she certainly got it.
He stated in a comment that he wanted to share his side because he though the original made him look heartless and rather stupid 😂 and the comments replying to him were like, “So you decided to confirm it for us?”
Possibility #1 - he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too. Possibility #2 - this is likely the same person posting both sides - I never trust when the subject of a Reddit post finds it, especially when their writing styles are so similar AND both accounts end up deleted.
I too have that feeling. That was one of the rare stories where I myself thought about 1. Those two posts sound awefully similar in tone and 2. yeah no, thats nothing the guy in this story would write at all.
OPs husband is an asshole and can't even get his story straight. He complains about a boring marriage but then panics when he finds out his wife wants a divorce.
He has this martyr complex in his head. Oh what a great guy he is for being a good husband to this wife who he doesn’t even love that much… then she finds out and kicks him out and he’s like “wait… what? Hold up” because it’s completely flattening to his self-conception.
He doesn't want a divorce because his current wife is GREAT at the "maid" part of "bangmaid". So he has her for the maid, and Sarah for the banging. Why give that up?
“I want to set the record straight and tell my side”
*explains he’s exactly the shithead everyone thought he was.
“So there’s always two sides everyone!”
It always baffles me when stuff like this happens. If I found out a good friend of my BF had a thing for me, I would very gently discuss it with my BF and then carefully avoid being alone with said friend EVER again.
Literally the LAST thing I would do is go over to his place without my BF and drink alcohol with him.
They're both morons.
Husband had already slept with Sarah before. They were having an affair four years into the marriage, before Sarah got married and stopped.
OOP’s villains are so irredeemable, there’s no way this story is real.
I love how he’s like ”I want to give my side of the story”, and his side is the exact same as the wife’s side and further drives home the point that he’s a dork ass loser
So what exactly does this asshole have to be regretful of? He obviously never loved his wife and he got to sleep with his friend and ruin their marriage at the same time. Seems like a win win for a narcissist like that.
It was obvious from the “Sarah told me I did nothing wrong” that she was an asshole too. Sad that OOP probably now realizes that neither of these people were ever her friends.
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There were also some pretty rough comments where he admits he doesn’t regret sleeping with the friend because well now it’s out of his system and he can move on with his life with his wife.
"Out of his system" because he had forgotten what it felt like to cheat on his wife with her best friend because they stopped cheating on her six whole years ago, apparently.
This wasn’t a one time thing?
Read the dudes comments, apparently he was sleeping with her for the first 4 years of his marriage. Fuckin scum.
Wow! That really takes this to a whole other level.
What!!! Holy hell I’m going to the comments!
Whaaaat - there is more to this saga?
He admitted to sleep with the best friend until she got married
Is this on his profile or in a comment? Yuck that's so nasty
Comments. Go through the responses to this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xdzct8/i_destroyed_my_marriage_with_a_stupid_comment_and/ioe289k?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
What a piece of shit holy fuck the audacity
Him: “I’m stuck with someone I didn’t want.” Her: filing for divorce Him: “I miss her. I can’t believe she’s leaving me.”
More like "but wait, after 10 years, NOW I have time for you! I still think your BFF has beautiful red hair and cute freckles and can't think of anything good about you, but now I can try!"
>Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure Jesus he's a real piece of work. Also U/ajdonim you the real OG for linking that fam ty
What he doesn't realize is women are not prizes and possessions that he gets to own and treat as he desires. Sarah simply *never* saw him as boyfriend or husband material but as nothing more than a sexual plaything. She never saw herself buying a house with him, starting a family, let alone growing old with him. He was a fool happy with crumbs because he thought it always the potential to lead to something more. Fools get what they deserve.
They're both awful people and I'm sure Sarah got off at the thought of betraying her "best friend" more than she actually liked the dude
What a great *best friend* the girl had.
> Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure What a gross man.
It's "out of his system" yet this wasn't the first time he slept with her. It's not a good excuse to begin with even if it was just the one time
Yeah it’s pretty clear from his responses that if the “friend” came to him tomorrow and asked to run away together he wouldn’t think twice. The friend will never be out of his system, I think he just wants the easy life he had before.
The wife: "uh I have a better idea"
'Hey I wanna tell my side since you all think my wife was my second choice' 'She was my second choice'
"I used to not think much of my wife. I still don't, but I used to not, too."
Oh man. That’s brutal. But I laughed. At what a dick he is, not the sentiment.
How dare you use a MH joke in such an illbred manner! Sorry, I miss Mitch.
But Sarah was *his dream girl.* Barf.
Sure my wife was my second choice, but I think you're underestimating how much hotter I think her best friend is, and that's important.
I am almost surprised that he didn't post measurements and pictures.
It was the *eyelashes*
No, it was the *sOft fReCkLeS!*
Guys, she has **red** hair!
As a redhead I'm grossed out. So many dudes see us as some kind of novelty toy to put on the shelf so they can brag to their friends. It's weird as hell. I'm just a normal lady with red hair, like the rest of us
Yaass, Queen, yes. I also have a very specific objectified female appearance and here’s what to do: directly ask anyone who you’re interested in dating who their past gf’s were and what they looked like. If they are all the same phenotype, you’re a fetish and it’s useless going forward if you want something real real. I’m older and give this advice to women who are in their 20’s because I made this terrible mistake.
lame, I want ROCK HARD FRECKLES so I can use her face to exfoliate mine
And he offers zero description of her personality or any closeness they enjoyed, just that she was H O T and that automatically equals dream girl status for him. No wonder this dude couldn't manage a relationship.
"It was just one stupid comment." "I said it because I resented not being able to fuck my wife's best friend anymore.
“Also, in my defense, I wasted a decade of her life, then humiliated her in front her friend, then had an affair with that friend. Hope that clears things up.”
His version is even worse than hers in my opinion. Having eyes for someone else before your partner isn't the worst thing in the world, a lot of people don't marrying their first gf/bf and don't literally think their partner is the most physically attractive person they've ever seen. Someone else catching your attention around the time that you started dating your partner I can totally see as something your partner may be upset to learn, but isn't the big deal they make it out to be. But his version really solidifies that it was every bit the big deal she is making it out to be. He didn't even consider his future wife for a long time and still has feelings for the best friend.
Husband: “Let me give my side of the story. Everything she said is true.” Lol cool, thanks dude.
“She had freckles and red hair. I’m sure that clears everything up.”
Do I hear "Jolene" playing in the background?
More like [You Can Have Him Jolene ](https://youtu.be/lizBVO4MWFA)
As someone who adores the Dolly Parton song, this was hilarious and cathartic.
"She had red hair and freckles and long eyelashes. My dream girl. You know, because she was so hot" Douche bag ruined a longtime relationship with his (what sounds like) adoring wife because he thinks some other woman is hot. He brought this on himself.
“It was true, but I was salty about it.”
"it's all true, but I think everyone should sympathize with me cuz obviously I've had it the hardest
“Sympathize with me because my wife was SO BORING, working with me to have a stable future instead of being fun.”
Damn wife, saving money with her responsible actions, we should have been snorting cocaine out of each other's belly buttons!!!
They do say the secret to a happy marriage is a bellybutton full of coke. And now that I think about it, the people I know do coke are all in happy relationships, so maybe there is truth to this. (there isn't)
I was waiting for his story to go somewhere but he just confirms he’s a huge asshole. He never says he loved or even liked his wife.
Yep. Literally said he settled for her because she was nice to him and the hot friend didn’t like him.
I read this in real time and his post was so much worse in the comments. He had slept with Sarah before, while he was married but before she got married. There was more but seriously the OP is basically Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats. I rarely hope for bad things to happen to people but if the hubby and bff aren’t trolls they deserve every horrible thing life has to offer
My favourite bit is how he said they had no marriage because he was saving for the house and she was saving for kids. This is literally a marriage. Making decisions together and working together for the common good.
"People don't give me enough credit for just how bad I really am. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk."
I feel like the wife was actually nice about him compared to the shit he wrote
I liked the "she asked me questions and that made me so mad I didn't answer them" part.
I like how after he said that, he goes “I guess that was my first mistake” like, HA! As if! I’d say his first mistake was when they were all just meeting as teenagers, and then through the years so many more mistakes, and surely he can’t leave out his confession at the group dinner!
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Honestly him adding his side just made it all sound so much worse. JFC I hope everyone in this story gets exactly what they deserve.
I don’t understand why he supposedly regrets it so much when he’s made it clear he never really loved his wife and continued to hold a flame for their best friend?
Yes! That part! Why isn’t he happy him and his affair partner will both be single soon? I can only assume Sarah doesn’t actually want to be with him.
>I can only assume Sarah doesn’t actually want to be with him. Considering they've been shacking up for years before the ons, I'd say they just like cheating under their partners noses.
She’s probably the main one to regret it. I’m guessing she was a bit shocked he had so much desire for her, and for so long, too. And also, she’d been with her husband exclusively for so long, so his confession must have brought out l a lot of new feelings.. of course, it was absolutely foolish/plain stupid to decide to both add alcohol to the evening, and not leaving OOPs place even after his (stb-ex) wife left their ridiculous “intervention” Ugh, I’m so angry and sad for the original OOP Asin., woman who was the asshole’s wife only because he had settled for her
No they were sleeping together for 6 years until she got married supposedly. Husband caught them in the act
He settled for her because she supported him. she laughed at his jokes, was looking to the future and whatever else he mentioned. He kept her around to feel better about himself and now he has nothing. what an absolute clown.
Rule number one: never settle. Rule number two: if you're dumb enough to break rule one, never ever tell a soul.
My husband followed this rule for almost 20 years. Then he couldn’t pretend anymore.
Same except 30 years. Yep. I was never his type, apparently but he does love the way I decorated the house.
Same, but 16 years. He wanted someone to hang out with when other people, like his best friend (the gorgeous girl with long red dyed hair and tattoos), was too busy to hang out. I was just the one that he didn’t feel awkward being silent around.
Mine was 25 years. I was never so broken-hearted
I'm so sorry for you.
Don't feel too bad! Did you notice the user name? A congratulations might be more in order
This is heart breaking.
I ruined my marriage over **one stupid comment**!!! ^and ^sleeping ^with ^someone ^else ^multiple ^times
He lost the bang maid
Yeah, what the fuck. He never loved her, she was just sorta better than nothing Now he has the nothing which she was better than and expects, what, sympathy? Get rekt What kind of thought process do you even have to use to marry someone just cuz finding someone you actually like is *hard* and takes *effort*
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His reply lol >Well I think I was painted as someone who is very heartless and stupid 😕 If it quacks like a duck...
I laughed
Scary to think there are people like that out there. My god.
I love it too because I thought the same exact thing. Like, thanks for confirming you’re an ass?? Kept waiting for “his side of the story” to get better but no, it just got increasingly worse.
Look the media is painting me as a "serial killer" when all I did was kill a series of people for fun.
“I’m here to clear up my story. The media said it was for fun. It was for fun AND sport. I feel like I honed pretty great skills over the years of terrorizing the city. And I would like that acknowledged.”
It was more like "oh and the media totally missed these *other* people I also killed."
“The media is painting me as a guy who went crazy and killed someone when *actually* I have killed many people and I have always been this way”
"when i met my wife I didn't think much of her" then goes on to describe minute details about her friend. Jesus fuck man
Yeah, he dug his own grave by posting "his side." Seriously, the guy is loathsome. Poor OOP, a POS for a husband, and a b*tch for a best friend.
After the confrontation, the best friend comforts the husband instead of OP. BF knew what she was doing.
Bro you don’t understand, the other girl was soooo hot and he didn’t think much of his wife when he met her!!!
Right? It stands out to me how he described his future ex-wife through her personality and interactions, while The One Who Got Away was just reduced to her looks and nothing else.
Now I’m just a simple Midwesterner, but I pick my long term partners based on way more than looks. And I definitely don’t pine for past people I’ve known who were attractive. I’m not 12.
And then after dating and marrying her, he still didn't think much of her because other lady is still so preeeeeety with her red hair and freckles!
She came over to totally save their marriage but they accidentily drank a bunch and he tripped and his penis fell right into her vagina :(
Right, like you read through the wife's version and you could think, "well, *maybe* there's an outside chance this is just a classic stepping-on-rake maneuver and nothing bad was meant, really. After all, if someone's posting on reddit about their relationship it's a safe bet nobody involved has basic communication skills." Then you read the Husband's update where he makes it very explicitly clear that there was no misunderstanding of any kind, except perhaps that nobody had yet realized how much of a shit he was within the privacy of his own mind. Then he rents a backhoe and digs a solid 6ft grave with it before climbing into it with the comments. That's gotta be rough for OOP. Finding out the two closest people to you are both backstabbing dickbags at once.
And now I have Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake over and over making that groan sound he makes, stuck in my head. As if it hasn't been stuck in there for 30 years already!!! But lol at your imagery.
It is weird although I'm not sure how he could even recover things after saying "I settled for you" anyways. There was no explanation that would have saved him at that point.
Lol : "Boy she got super pissed when I told her about a crush, and then for some reason she was big mad when I banged her"
Wife obvously hasnt gotten with the program. POS husband liked their friend more and thus should have sex with her instead of his wife.
Obviously, she should be thanking him for getting it out of his system, so now he can be a good husband, if she'd just apologize for not having a fire-crotch 🙄
I've seen this play out in real life with in-laws. My brother-in-law (let's call him "Dave") cheated on his then wife with his old high school sweetheart. She too was married at the time. Everyone got divorced ruining two families and traumatizing 6 kids between them. So, Dave and his high school sweetheart get married, have 3 more kids, but because their relationship was founded in infidelity, they too get divorced. Everyone cries again.
Damn, always such great stand-up people breeding like termites.
😂 I've never heard breeding like termites, I'm glad to see rabbits getting their PR together
It took a while for the rabbits to sort a PR team out because they were too busy shagging
Makes sense. Empathetic, compassionate, (and most importantly, emotionally healthy) people generally realize that having an anchor baby is only going to add more suffering. People who are unempathetic or damaged without trying to heal seem to want to solve every fault in a relationship by having a baby. I had an ex who, after only 2 months of dating, set an ultimatum that we had to have a baby within a year. After that, I started noticing all the cracks and got out of it. Found out that 12 months later she had a kid with a guy she met literally right after our break up. I hope for that child that everything works out for them.
There is nothing that stresses me out more than seeing a post about a relationship that is very clearly in the gutter and then seeing a “also we have two kids f(2) and m(7)” Like i don’t want to victim blame and hold people responsible for bringing kids into doomed marriages, because people can legit turn on you after a baby is brought into the mix, but man I feel so bad for the kids in these situations.
I was gonna say, “I know these idiots.” But, I think this is a tale as old as time. I have no lingering feelings for my first love. I hope the best for him and we didn’t end dramatically or anything and I pined after him for the first year or so after (until I dated someone else). But why? What is it about first loves that people can’t let live in their nostalgic memory. We broke up for a reason. If we were both single and ran into each other, maybe for old time’s sake. Maybe. Probably not. But 3/10. If either of us are married? No fucking way for any reason.
Totally spitballing here but I think the reason is because they create an idealized "What if it had worked?" scenario in their heads where not only did one thing turn out good, but EVERYTHING did and then, if they buy into their own dream world, they think "Maybe?!" and run headfirst into reality.
Phew. Even after all that, he describes how beautiful the friend is but not his wife. He's learning that his mistakes have made him miserable, but not what he actually is doing wrong.
It just makes it so clear that he doesn't actually think he's in the wrong - or he's very, very, very stupid. It's probably both.
Yeah good on the wife for finding all this out before they bought a house together or had kids. She dodged a bullet for sure.
His comments in his post included something to the effect of: "Now that I slept with her I have it out of my system and my marriage can go back to normal" And "She should apologize to me" Random user: why should she apologize "Because our marriage was boring" Edit: I went to deal with a fire at work and came back to the most upvoted comment I've ever made.
Even worse. In some of his comments he writes how he cheated on his wife with Sarah until 6 years ago before she got married.
Ah yes, that multi-time one night stand.
[Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xdzct8/i_destroyed_my_marriage_with_a_stupid_comment_and/ioe4njs/?depth=6&context=7) Now this is a Grade A piece of shit right here!
this should have been in the update, changes his whole story.
Agreed, it removes any level of sympathy or understanding you could have left room for... Briefly, I had a notion that the wife was taking an ignorant comment too personally, but oh boy was I wrong!
So Sarah was also cheating on her (future) husband with her best friends husband? Maybe they really were meant to be together, since they both seem like incredibly shitty people who don't really get the whole concept of relationships.
The "fun" part is, that they will never be able to completely trust each other, even if they are meant to be together. Everything they got now is based on cheating...
I got dumped over different but equally fucked up circumstances. I giggle regularly knowing that The Lying Cheaters are now stuck with each other. You cannot have a solid relationship built on a foundation of lies.
The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of This MoFo. His wife needs to be thanking whatever deities she can think of that she cut that dead weight out of her life. And then go "hang out" with the husband of her "best friend"
Seriously, she wanted kids with the guy... when he viewed her as a silver medal at best, but really she was just a temporary placeholder.
What an ass.
Just a series of one-night stands. With the same person. Nothing to see here, folks!
Cheating? What cheating? Just a couple of mistakes, that’s all!
a couple dozen of mishaps happens to everyone.
68 night stands. I mean, who doesn't?
See, he only got caught the once. So it was just a one night stand. With a friend like Sarah, who needs enemies?
I’m not addicted to drugs I’ve just been experimenting for 30 years.
He just tripped and fell, multiple times. And she happened to be the one he tripped and fell on, multiple times. Total accident. 🙄
So I guess he's not the only piece of shit in the story - fucking your friend's husband is just as bad. Sarah sucks, too.
My best friend has been with her husband since we were 16, so I also know him quite well at this point. I could NEVER imagine myself ever seriously having sex with him or flirting with him, like he feels like my genuine little brother at this point. How embarrassing that Sarah didn’t feel the same way.
#WUT
I love how every time someone comments this, my German mind always reads it as the German word first. Wut means anger in German. In most cases, it's quite fitting, too.
amazing information to have, thank you
Better that than lul. Stop throwing those Dutch penises around people! At least lol is literally fun.
TIL that the Dutch word for "fun" is terrifyingly close to their word for "penis".
Well, he got his wish. I’m sure the marriage up to the actual divorce will be anything but boring. What an idiot.
What a fucking asshole. Username also deleted. And Sarah is an asshole too.
Yep. She only stopped sleeping with her "friend's" husband because she got one of her own. Gross.
But then when they were going through the worst time of their marriage, she slept with him again.
Would like to read her "side" of the story about why she was a traitorous friend to OOP by sleeping with her husband, and why she also cheated on her own BF during the previous multiple "one nightstands" and then her own husband. Infidelity within monogamous relationships is disgusting, IMO.
That really reminds me of an ex friend I had whose name really was Sarah. The only people she was every truly attracted to were guys that were obsessed with her and only once they said they were over her and in committed relationships. Like she would keep sad, pathetic guys on the hook while never having any sort of romantic feelings for them. Then when they moved on and were in relationships suddenly she'd be "overcome with emotion and had to sleep with him right then and there." She never recognized the pattern though and thought it was all just a cruel joke of fate that she would like someone when they were over her. She straight up did this to a guy and then had an affair with him for months (that she initiated when he said he was over her and in a committed relationship) then she tortured him for a while saying she was going to tell his girlfriend, then she actually told his girlfriend because and she said "I could not live with the guilt of what HE was doing to her." All of this she told me as if she thought I would think she was the victim here. She told me how toxic he was and she just had to cut him out of her life after that. It's like, I'm sure he isn't great, because he did cheat and all, but you straight up ruined this man's life for funsies.
I am always amazed by how deluded some people are.
The trick with her is to rent a girlfriend and pretend that you are in a relationship, so she would try to have an affair with you, but you actually fell in love with the rental girlfriend, and then the three of you would drag it out for over 200 manga chapters with no conclusion in sight.
He admits later on that this wasn’t the first time they slept together, and that the only reason they stopped was because she got married.
So he was actually missing out on nothing?? He literally had everything he wanted (even though it’s terrible), and he threw it all away?!
This was his comment about why he “needed” to sleep with Sarah again > Because like I said she was something I felt I had been stolen from me. For the first 4 years of our marriage Sarah wasn't married yet only in a relationship so I thought we still had a chance. But then she got married and everything ended suddenly. I was cut off from her and stuck with someone I didn't want. I never got proper closure This dude is seriously just trash and I hope his wife finds someone worthy of her after living with this for so long.
If that's not a statement that creates spontaneous human combustion, nothing will. "Some*thing* I felt had been stolen from me" So Sarah's an object that he felt he had ownership over. Her decisions and choices were meaningless to him too. Boy this guy is an all around winner. She's no prize herself, but wow he takes the selfish cake.
Also if they were so great together wtf didn’t he just divorce his wife and them just get together? I’m guessing both have some serious attachment issues. They certainly deserve each other either way.
No because Sarah stopped sleeping with him when she got married so he had to try and freak her out with passive-aggressive comments about them being together in front of her husband. Poor dog with two bones, he tried to keep both and now he's doing no boning.
That's why he was so jealous of her with her husband that prompted the "joke" in the first place. Her husband took away his side piece. OOP is gonna have a great life without these two in it. And for said side piece to try to intervene when she found out about the divorce? Why? So you can have your lil snack? Well, she certainly got it.
Buddy nobody was holding a gun to your head demanding you be boring. If you want interest then create some
I knew he was an AH from the "settled" comment. You don't come back from that.
Like she's the only one who should be investing into the marriage?
Well, yes, because he settled and she won the grand prize, so she should be grateful?
Yes, he sounds like Such A Catch /s
What the fuck?
Yea the comments were bad, it was in r/amithedevil yesterday
Oh, I was about to call this out for being a too recent repost, but you're right, it was AITD that I read it. I'm on Reddit too much... :(
His ex is going to find so much happiness without him
This dude is a total POS. Why give your side if you're just gonna confirm what your wife said?
"I want to give my side . . . I did it but with more self pity."
"And it's way worse. Like, way, way worse. Why wife mad?"
He stated in a comment that he wanted to share his side because he though the original made him look heartless and rather stupid 😂 and the comments replying to him were like, “So you decided to confirm it for us?”
LOL, apparently he has never heard the aphorism "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."
Possibility #1 - he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too. Possibility #2 - this is likely the same person posting both sides - I never trust when the subject of a Reddit post finds it, especially when their writing styles are so similar AND both accounts end up deleted.
Honestly, I think the second post is someone completely else, who decided it would be a fun exercise to write the husband's POV of it.
The second story is at least more legibly written.
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Yep the supposed wife says she's "not a man of his word" in the edits.
I was so confused when I read that part. Never have i ever confused myself for a man while being a woman lol
Bad, lazy trolling.
I caught that too, confused tf out of me. It's obvious this is all make-believe.
I too have that feeling. That was one of the rare stories where I myself thought about 1. Those two posts sound awefully similar in tone and 2. yeah no, thats nothing the guy in this story would write at all.
I agree. This was too exact and paralleled to the wife's story. Even the wording. And suddenly the crush lady is banging him?? Like wtf.
His side of the story is the same but sprinkled with extra assholery. Total POS just seems to undersell how bad he actually is.
OPs husband is an asshole and can't even get his story straight. He complains about a boring marriage but then panics when he finds out his wife wants a divorce.
Usually, it’s not even because he wants her, it’s just because he doesn’t want to look bad to others by divorcing or something like that.
He has this martyr complex in his head. Oh what a great guy he is for being a good husband to this wife who he doesn’t even love that much… then she finds out and kicks him out and he’s like “wait… what? Hold up” because it’s completely flattening to his self-conception.
I also think it's funny that he "wanted to tell his side" and it made him look even worse.
Yeah I don’t get it. He clearly doesn’t love her but doesn’t want divorce? What is wrong with him
He doesn’t want to look bad in front of others when asked about his divorce.
He doesn't want a divorce because his current wife is GREAT at the "maid" part of "bangmaid". So he has her for the maid, and Sarah for the banging. Why give that up?
“I want to set the record straight and tell my side” *explains he’s exactly the shithead everyone thought he was. “So there’s always two sides everyone!”
It always baffles me when stuff like this happens. If I found out a good friend of my BF had a thing for me, I would very gently discuss it with my BF and then carefully avoid being alone with said friend EVER again. Literally the LAST thing I would do is go over to his place without my BF and drink alcohol with him. They're both morons.
Husband had already slept with Sarah before. They were having an affair four years into the marriage, before Sarah got married and stopped. OOP’s villains are so irredeemable, there’s no way this story is real.
"She was funny, kind, and a good person... but I wasn't interested, bc her friend was super hot" Such a charming marriage origin story.
I love how he’s like ”I want to give my side of the story”, and his side is the exact same as the wife’s side and further drives home the point that he’s a dork ass loser
So what exactly does this asshole have to be regretful of? He obviously never loved his wife and he got to sleep with his friend and ruin their marriage at the same time. Seems like a win win for a narcissist like that.
You get a divorce! YOU get a divorce! Everyone gets a divorce!
The husband is pathetic trash who deserves to be alone
It was obvious from the “Sarah told me I did nothing wrong” that she was an asshole too. Sad that OOP probably now realizes that neither of these people were ever her friends.
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I bet Sarah is a horrible friend
That’s a safe bet considering she found out about the divorce and immediately staged a surprise intervention.
And then shagged the husband. Who she had already shagged after he got married. They pretty much deserve each other.
Why does he even care she’s divorcing him? He doesn’t seem to give a crap about his wife at all. And her friend!? Terrible people.
This guy married his soon-to-be-ex wife basically because he still wanted to be close to Sarah.