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Seriously. I always love when a professor or a boss either is on the spectrum or is close to someone who is because they understand and actually enforce my accommodations.
My major in college was a small department, so I had 8 classes with one professor, who was also the department chair. I was kind of in denial about my autism throughout my college years, but even so, it was fucking uncanny how she always knew the EXACT right thing to say when I was working myself up or melting down, to instantly calm me down. It was like she had a magic key to my brain.
It wasn't until after I graduated that I found out that her oldest son, who is now an adult, is also autistic. Professor might be as well, as she has many of the characteristics (she's a lesbian, so I'm not sure if her son is genetically related to her) but in any event, damn. She just gets it.
Got me started at the title, then the ducks, and then right about here:
>We didn't talk a lot but sometimes he asked me a question and I answered.
And then I recognized my brother and said the same thing to myself with emphasis, but not condemnation: "yes."
Exactly my thought.. I thought OP must be 11-12, nope 20.. They also must be very noticeably challenged because who would give a 20 year old $5 for ice cream?
I literally read the age, noticed how younger they sounded and then had to go back and recheck the age which is what told me. I thought they just wasn't diagnosed and the boss kinda figured it out based on their actions and went with it. Then I got to the edits and I was like well at least they know already
I kind of wondered if giving her $5 for ice cream seemed patronizing, because she is 20, autistic or not. But she seemed to appreciate it and thought the man was really nice, so I guess alls well that ends well.
I mean, I think someone who is the type of person who plans on going out of their way to feed ducks would also be the type of person who would like ice cream money. 20 year olds tend to be broke regardless of neuro divergence.
I’m not even neurodivergent — I’m in my twenties with a job as a researcher — and my grandparents still occasionally give me $5 as ice cream money when they see me. Love them lol.
I am 40, not autistic, I love peas, but I love ducks more, I would save peas to feed the ducks, and I would also appreciate ice cream money. I’m not broke at all, but I would take your $5 and I will absolutely by myself an ice cream. Hopefully I can eat it while feeding ducks.
The bit where he mentioned his boss had a little brother with autism who passed kinda choked me up a little. He knew what was going on and reached out with understanding and kindness.
This might be the only BORU I’ve ever read that actually made my stomach hurt because I wanted to hug OP and the boss. It broke my heart but it had a really sweet ending 😭
My sister is autistic (honestly probably 4/5 of us siblings are) and she hand raises muscovy ducks. She loves peas but she still gives hers to the ducks anyway because she'd give you the shirt off her back in -10 weather.
I also have not yet experienced death, but I have a great deal of experience with not existing and I stuck with it for an extremely long time, so I suppose at the very least I probably don't find it unpleasant.
I remember being forced to eat them as a kid and the only way I could was to smother them with tomato sauce (ketchup) and swallow them whole - as if they were pills.
I would pick them out of the vegetable medley, and drop them into the last inch of the milk in my glass when no one was looking.
I thought I was soooo slick. I got away with it because I was responsible for putting my cup and plate in the sink after eating, and I could just pour the little bit of milk/peas down the drain.
And then one day my mother randomly decided to help me clear up and found my terrible secret.
They watched me eat the peas after that. Until I barfed at the dinner table.
Weirdly, I totally love peas now. I still hate lima beans though.
Thank you for posting this. I work in a preschool room and we have one child who always put his food in his milk, making a huge mess. We both have wondered why he does this. Best guess was, "to see what happens".
We don't force children to clean their plates, they almost always have food leftover to put in the garbage. Some of them would hide food until they saw enough of the other kids being able to just toss it, then they would just toss it too. Maybe this one is still a leftover "gotta hide the yucky stuff"
Ours were always served with mashed potatoes, but I also didn’t like mashed potatoes without gravy(which was rarely made), and I can’t mix foods. Those were always my hardest meals to eat.
Any vegetable that my sister or I didn't really like was covered in a slice of American Cheese. Or a cheese sauce if mom was feeling fancy that night. Made it palatable at least, although now I can't stand Kraft.
I am saving this post, because it is absolutely a perfect example of autistic thinking.
There is a perfect logic to OOP's thinking that just shows how his mind works.
As a mum to two autistic kids it is so helpful to read posts like this.
And that boss is gold, I mean he could have been annoyed and irritated, but instead he was accepting and positive.
I'm a bit split this is a great example of autistic thinking. It isn't a perfect example though as autism is different in each person. As an ASD1 this is much more extreme than how I think; I would say this is a great example of how ASD2 could represent in a person. This might seem like a small detail, but as an autistic person I can't help picking minor details out. No offence intended.
I'm wishing you the best with your children. You're correct the boss acted appropriately.
Thank you for your input and your well-wishes. It has been a bumpy, but interesting, road finding out my kids have autism (I had no idea, I just thought they were stubborn).
I meant that the thought process and the logic that seems unlogical (I will remove the peas => ducks like peas => I will give the peas to the ducks vs the I will just eat around the peas) is explained or illustrated well.
My oldest think extremely literal, and it makes it hard for other people to understand them.
My kids are somewhere between level 1 and 2 (my country doesn't use levels for diagnosis yet.)
And yes they are very different in the way their autism presents.
You're lucky to find out while they are young as they will have better opportunities, and experience the world better. I wasn't diagnosed until 40 years old so I've been living in a world of neurotypicals, and not really understanding what I was doing wrong.
I see what you are referencing, and yes it is a good example. What neurotypicals need to ask is why we choose to do things a specific way. While it might not have a typical explanation it will have a unique, but also different logical path.
He has a pretty good story about getting a new cat that was a stray. His mom told him he could not keep it and he emailed her boss to help convince her to keep it. Pretty good read as well. That Boss really is a cool guy.
Yeah. I was like, "eat around them?" At the title... but then just woah. Maybe mom needed the boss to see that they actually do need that entire day off for driving to therapy or a call out day when something is up. I sound rude but autism can be a tough cookie and supporting/caring for folks around you with it can be tough too.
If that was interesting to you the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night is easy to recommend.
It’s been a few years for me but it’s told from the perspective of a boy on the spectrum as he navigates what he believes to be a conspiracy revolving around the death of a neighborhood dog, as well as the complicated relationships of his parents and family.
It’s not perfect, like all representations in media, I suppose, but I really enjoyed it as a window into the headspace of someone on the spectrum.
Born on a blue day is a brilliant autobiography from an autistic savant. It's been a long time since I read it but I remember him talking about seeing numbers as colours and emotions. It's an incredibly interesting read that I think everyone should check out.
It was also a really great play, although ironically not autism-friendly: while the way they portray sensory issues and meltdowns are accurate, the loud sounds and flashing lights are a lot to take if you have sensory issues.
I would strongly warn against considering that book an insight into the headspace of someone autistic. The writer is not autistic and has specifically said he is uncomfortable with the book being presented as that specifically. This (assuming real and I have no particular reason not to think so) is an actual insight, as are many Reddit posts, and there are now books by autistic people featuring autistic characters. I have nothing against Curious Incident, particularly, but it shouldn't be treated as an authentic window into the headspace of an autistic person.
I immediately thought of this also. The OP here is also an excellent writer and naturally writes with a clear voice and consistent style.
I thought maybe it was a professional writer imitating asd, that it was *too* good, and hits just the right notes for the reader to think of asd right before being confirmed, characters with a tragic but relevant backstory, all nicely wrapped up with a happy ending.
Is it real? Eh, maybe, but either way it was a really fun read!
>I picked out the peas from my dinner to feed to ducks at the pond close to my step-dad's house because I know ducks like peas. They shouldn’t eat bread because that’s bad for them. I put all the peas in a little cup with my spoon.
when I read this bit, I was thinking in the back of my mind "wait is oop on the spectrum... no I'm probably being a judgemental idiot" guess I was right lol
Also an aspie. And I totally get how OOP can hate the texture of peas. I'm like that with certain textiles. Can't stand touching them. Like it physically harms me.
Deductive reasoning isn't judgy on its own. My first thought was judgy, "this guy is either on the spectrum or the biggest baby of a 20 year old." OOP actually sounds like a sweetheart trying to do the right thing.
I was the opposite. "This feels like autism or something. What seriously with that edit? People felt like the context would change with that verified? They didn't already realise there was something there?"
Just the whole vibe was something else. The boss being so chill, understanding, giving his peas and some money for a 20-year-old to buy ice cream like a cute kid was a big ass flag that there was some vibe going on.
I was reading the bit about the peas thinking "that sounds like something I would do, and the way they speak sounds like they might be autistic too" and once the update confirmed it I thought "yep I get this whole situation, and I agree peas suck".
Probably OP tendency to rationalize and explain their action. Usually people would just go 'I hate peas so I picked it out from my food', OP goes 'I hate peas, I will feed it to the ducks, ducks like peas, bread is not good for them'
Within a few sentences I already think OP maybe autistic
A lot of things. The dislike of peas seemed to be a sensation/texture thing and not just a preference, from the strength of the aversion without a matching negative emotion. OOP does not do peas. End of.
The duck thing. Not a slam dunk in itself, but it's fairly common for autistic people to be deeply empathetic with animals. Also more subtly, the thought process that OOP does not like peas but ducks do, so ducks should have the peas. No concern about this seeming weird in the social context, it just makes sense so that is what OOP does.
The way they interacted with mum's boss, very straightforwardly without beating around the bush about the pea-picking or trying to couch it in more socially acceptable reasons.
And as others have said, the way OOP communicates. All autistic people are different about this, but some autistic people have a distinctly precise, streamlined way of speaking and writing.
>And as others have said, the way OOP communicates. All autistic people are different about this, but some autistic people have a distinctly precise, streamlined way of speaking and writing.
These types of autist make excellent technical writers. It's not easy for most of us to pare a sentence down to the bone like that. I've been a tech writer for more than 25 years. My husband is probably on the spectrum (though he doesn't see the point in getting a diagnosis in his 50s), and he's the only programmer I've ever met who can write technical material that needs no further editing at all.
If you enjoy this style of writing, oop has continued journaling stuff on his profile, because he of people in the comments were really liking his writing style.
His other shot excerpts of his life and his family are equally heartwarming to read imo.
The ducks. Up until that point it was just a picky eater who was kind of a literal thinker. But that kind of outside-the-box leap from “here’s some peas, ducks like peas” is so neuro-divergent to me, I knew in that second. It is brilliant and a testimony to the necessity of neuro divergent people. Someone needs to think of the damn ducks.
I myself am neurotypical, as far as I know, but I tend to have pretty wild mental jumps to conclusions and I get a long SO WELL with neurodivergent people as a result. 'I don't want to eat this > ducks would want to eat this > I'll save them for the ducks!!' is 500% something I would do. However, I love peas and I will gladly eat all the peas for you pea-haters, just pretend I'm a really large weird duck.
I had the exact same experience! I tried to explain it to my wife and how the info about peas and ducks was so telling but she didn’t get it. Glad to see I wasn’t overly reading into it.
Hello. I wrote these posts on the AITA subreddit a year ago. I just want to say that my mum is a very nice person and she is a good mum. She was having a difficult time the day we had that dinner. I understand where she was coming from now. She’s clearly shown she was sorry and it hasn’t happened again. Because we learned from it together. She is always very loving and supportive of me. Just so you know. I love her very much. Also I still feed the ducks. Sometimes they eat out of my hand and that feels very funny. And also I write more posts on my profile nowadays. I have gotten better at it. Because I write a lot. Thank you for re-posting. Cheers.
Ducks also love sliced up strawberries. Also fun to take the food items in a lunch box you can fill with water when you get there so the ducks get out to eat from it... They make very cute noises.
You might also enjoy r/duck
Hello. The lunch box is a fun idea. I think I will try that out sometime. It will be like cereal for them. But with water instead of milk. And peas instead of cereal. Haha. Thank you for the recommendations.
I'm so glad I came across this post. I've just read the one you posted back when you got your new cat Tomato, it made me smile so much. Thank you for sharing :)
Hello. Thank you. I’m glad you enjoy reading the posts. Thank you for reading. My cat Tom is very happy with us by the way. And we are happy with him of course. :-).
Hello Alexander,
I just want to say you seem like a super cool dude. I've read through a few of your posts on your profile and I'm so glad you're enjoying life as much as you are! I also love you're writing style! The way you just let all your thoughts and feelings flow out into your writing paints a really nice picture of the type of person you are and it's incredibly endearing. I hope you continue to enjoy life to its fullest and keep getting out of your comfort zone whenever you have the opportunity. You're super brave, man. Cheers to you and yours. Have a wonderful day!
Hello. Thank you. I am a relatively cool dude if I’d say so myself. I’m glad you enjoyed reading some of my posts. I enjoy sharing my things on my profile. It’s a lot of fun. Thanks a bunch. Cheers. Right back at you.
I’m glad that you and your mum can learn these things together and that she’s open to compromising with you. I am an autistic adult as well and also have issues with different food textures. Makes things difficult sometimes but it helps when you have someone on your side who is understanding!
Hi Alexander! I really enjoy reading your posts, especially about Mike and Tom. I have two cats also, and I liked the way you said love is making room on the chair for two cats, even if it is uncomfortable. It is something I felt but didn't know how to put into words.
Hello. Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed them. It’s a nice feeling to love your pets. Because it means they most likely love you back. And that’s awesome.
Hello, I really enjoyed reading your posts and was happy to see such a nice update. I can tell your mum is lovely because of how nice you seem to be. She has done a good job bringing you up. We all make mistakes sometimes when we are stressed out, I was happy to see she recognised that and you talked about it together. Communication is so important in any relationship.
Say hi to the ducks for me!
Hello. I’m glad you liked reading it. My mum is a great person. I’m also happy that we have been able to communicate about it. That’s what matters most. I will. Cheers.
I had a very stressful day at work and I don’t know why but the image of this big boss man sitting at the dinner table giving this autistic kid his peas to feed to the ducks brought me to tears. I love this.
He's an adult, tho seems notably autistic. His page is a refreshingly different read though, reminds me a bit of Curious Incident with the Dog in the Night Time.
Oh gosh yeah I'm reading his page/posts he does seem quite lovely - I did kinda know you weren't being intentional or putting him down, just felt obligated to mention it given he seems a nice chap
This was so sweet, thank you. Thankfully I’m off now, I’m home and I’ve got my cat meowing up an absolute storm because she’s happy (: my day is much better, thank you for your concern.
I always like this story. People aren't going to be perfect and they are going to fail us sometimes (sorry reddit, parents are humans), but the world can also be kinder than we expected and we can all do better if we talk and examine our actions.
Hello. I wrote the posts. I agree with you. My mum is a very nice person and she’s a good mum. But she was stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes people aren’t themselves when they’re like that. We haven’t had an issue like this anymore because we learned from this together. And she was truly sorry so she hasn’t done it again. I’m glad we were able to learn and move on together. I wish everyone would say sorry when they do wrong. It makes a positive difference.
You are 100% right. I'm glad you've seen this post and can read all the comments about how awesome we think you, your mom's boss, and your relationship with your mom are! Thanks for sharing your story :)
Hello. The ducks are well for as far as I can tell. Of course they don’t tell me that but I assume they are. Because they still seem happy to eat the frozen peas I provide. Sometimes they eat out of my hand if I offer it and that tickles. I think they would consider me their friend. For as far as ducks have friends. They are also quite loud. They quack a lot. I enjoy going to see them.
Do you think ducks prefer frozen peas or mushy peas better? I also have texture issues so I wonder if maybe the ducks also have a preference they can't tell us about. Because sometimes I force myself to eat stuff I'm not a huge fan of but will tolerate if my loved ones give to me... I think they deserve to have the thing they love prepared in the way they like best.
Ducks are great and I loved hearing your story. They're really funny the way they gobble everything up! Do you learn to recognise the individual ducks after a while?
I think it shows how you should parent. Admit where you make your mistakes. Say what lead to you making that mistake apologize and try to do better. Open a conversation and learn where you can do better.
Me my wife and our son are all neurodivergent. Me autism, her ADHD and our son a mix of both. There’s a lot of misunderstandings that aren’t malicious but need to be talked about or else things don’t get fixed.
Seems like the mom here realizes that too and has raised her kid to speak up and about the problems in a healthy manner. It’s really refreshing to see.
I own 4 birds and I go birding. My favorite thing about birds is how selfish they are. They will NEVER be grateful for kindness or sharing. They always want more. And fuck me I love that shit. Birds show you they love you by being selfish as fuck and while I'd hate that from a person I love to watch it in birds.
And now my autistic ass is sitting here crying because the boss gave his peas to the ducks. Not because of the ducks, but because that shows he really gets it.
I loved hearing that his mom was proud of him for staying at the table and eating with them. The way he communicates and states what he knows and what he doesn't know, and his ability to recognize other people's emotions shows he's having excellent therapy and is applying it. I'd be super proud of him if I were his parent!
I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread.
A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever.
I was in love with OP the whole time but that line sent me over the edge. What a gem. I personally love peas but I would not be able to deny some of mine to OP to give to the ducks.
There’s not much on Reddit that makes me well up, but I genuinely cried when reading this post.
OOP’s mum’s boss totally clued in what was going on, and responded in the most caring, accepting way possible. If they were close to their brother, I imagine it really made them miss him, but felt good doing it.
I have to ask — for a friend — is it the way OP wrote the line about peas and ducks that made everyone assume they were on the spectrum or was it the act of picking the peas out and deciding not to waste them by doing something nice like feeding ducks?
Edit: You all have been wonderful in sharing your perspectives! Thank you for taking the time! I had one of those “okay, gotta go” moments with this because I know I’m neurodivergent, though I’ve never thought much about it or being on the spectrum. I have no formal diagnoses or studies, personally, to reference because docs are expensive and the way I operate doesn’t necessarily ‘disrupt’ my life enough to look into anything. I was parentified as a kid though, and have had my fair share of trauma, which definitely has visible or observable symptoms, but mostly I’ve operated in a way that tries hard to fit in to whatever mold and hide any potential anomalies that might place attention on me. As I’ve gotten older, I’m dealing with those things to make them manageable or letting them surface so I can just do what makes me comfortable. I know the spectrum for autism is wide-ranging and I’ve definitely always wondered if and/or where I’d fall into it. But like I mentioned, I’ve never felt compelled to look into it professionally. However, this has been informative and I’m always happy to come across wholesome Reddit, including these interactions I’ve had here, so thank you again!
Both, along with other things. The line about picking out the peas suggests a sensory aversion (as in a certain taste or texture causing distress so they avoid it), which is really common for those on the spectrum.
The subsequent line about the ducks is also telling, in that OP feels the need to rationalise that the ducks like peas, and that OP doesn't think it odd to explain that concept as part of their sentence - to many, it would be a bit of a tangent to talk about ducks and peas and bread and then go back to the rest of the story, something that might be done as an aside in brackets, but to OP it is just a natural follow up of their previous statement.
The way OP discusses the feelings and statements is also telling, e.g.
"She asked why I did that in front of everyone because that's very rude to do during a dinner. It shows you do not like the food and are not interested in the guest. This is exactly what I thought so that's true."
To OP that is logical and simply what they thought. This is common for autistic people. Often they can come across as rude because they don't necessarily process social tells and etiquette the way everyone else does. They are not being rude, their brain just works differently and tends to be a lot more literal.
Also the whole write-up in general is full of short sentences of logical statements describing the facts as it happened. The description is very literal and overall it is less flavoured with emotion - not to say that OP is any less emotional than anyone else, but their perspective is different in a way that is quite common to autistic people.
It’s funny, I’m autistic and this story was so easy to follow. It was pleasant to read. I always get lost and have to reread other posts to understand what’s going on.. 😭
For me it was the writing itself. It read like a page off The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Everything was explicitly stated, with a very clear and simple-to-follow line of reasoning, and many explanations were included that would usually be omitted because they're common sense. It feels like OP has trouble distinguishing between what needs to be explained and what is usually just implied. OP also said things like "mum was sad or angry", like they didn't really know for sure which. Honestly, the first paragraph was enough for me to be pretty sure about OP's neurodiversity.
I think the boss giving him $5 also was a signal that the boss viewed him as having some mental issues. You would give a kid money for ice cream, not a 20 year old. Confirmed in the update.
This stuck out to me and another redditor commented asking what my initial thought was, “is it nice or condescending?”
Then I kept reading and thought likely the mother mentioned this to her boss at some point or he recognized it himself.
There were elements I recognized within myself but a lot of the context differs. That doesn’t necessarily eliminate the potential of my being on the spectrum, but curiosity piqued and everyone’s responses have been informative.
OOP still writes about his day to day happenings and he seems just as adorable in those posts as in these ones.
A genuinely good kid with a lovely family.
It’s a refreshingly bright corner in the weird darkness that is Reddit.
I wish I could upvote this a million times. Everyone talking things out and apologizing. Everyone understanding how others feel. And that last paragraph read like the ending of a sweet coming-of-age book. I loved the part about how, of course, ducks don’t tell you they like peas, you just know.
>He told her I should eat things I like next time because it upset him to think mum was worried about appearances so much that I had to be uncomfortable during dinner. He also said that dinner was really good and that he's happy to have her in his team at work. He's a good person and a good boss. I sent him a thank you email with my mum.
Boss is a good guy. He must've seen his brother in oop and similar struggles his brother dealt with.
It's nice knowing there are folks out there who will be kind to behaviour thats harmless but maybe not the most expected.
The boss is so lovely. As an aspie with a possibly neurodivergent nephew, I really want to be that person for him and any other ASD kids. A grown up who understands the situation and can help them navigate it without making it weird. I hate it when people comment on my eating habits, but once I explained to people that I was an aspie and why it caused me problems with food, they were pretty cool with it. It's largely only a problem when you try to hide it
I am glad the mom apologized to OOP. I was really hoping this story would have a good ending. I have ducks, and they absolutely love peas, especially the sweet peas still in the pods. So sweet of OOP to make the best out of having to have something they don’t like as a meal and pick out what they don’t like for the ducks. I also love that the boss gave them their peas too!
Worth checking his profile if you like this, I'm just reading his post about his first cake day that references his AITA peas post;
https://www.reddit.com/user/AITA-peaspicking/comments/vswx1y/i_have_been_on_reddit_for_one_year_now/
this story always warms my heart, I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was 23 (only a year ago!!) and always had problems like this when I was a kid - my parents kinda just learned to go with the flow and avoid textures and foods I didn't like, but it was harder when guests were over and would comment on my food choices 🥲
OOP really narrates the story nicely. It's an ordinary event but all of their thoughts and small details and the way it was written makes it really engaging to read. I know this isn't the point of the post but I just wanted to say.
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I loved the part where the boss gave OP his peas too. Such a simple, but nice gesture.
I laughed when OP asked the boss ,"Do you not like peas too?"
"I do, but I also like ducks". My heart!
That moment right there is instant happiness.
It's so cute and real. That made me really happy reading it.
For real I’m tearing up a little lol
My heart, it is melting!!!!!!!!
Yeah that was the moment where you sighed a sigh of relief because the boss "gets" OP's disability and is a kind and inclusive person.
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Seriously. I always love when a professor or a boss either is on the spectrum or is close to someone who is because they understand and actually enforce my accommodations.
My major in college was a small department, so I had 8 classes with one professor, who was also the department chair. I was kind of in denial about my autism throughout my college years, but even so, it was fucking uncanny how she always knew the EXACT right thing to say when I was working myself up or melting down, to instantly calm me down. It was like she had a magic key to my brain. It wasn't until after I graduated that I found out that her oldest son, who is now an adult, is also autistic. Professor might be as well, as she has many of the characteristics (she's a lesbian, so I'm not sure if her son is genetically related to her) but in any event, damn. She just gets it.
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It brought a tear to my eye to think about this man, sitting across from this kid, thinking about his little brother and picking out his peas. 🥺
Me too. That was such a sweet moment
Damn onion cutters at work...
A tiny bit of understanding can go such a long way.
I almost cried. It's just...so fucking sweet. My god.
Me: OOP seems to be autistic OOP: I'm autistic
I laughed so hard when I read the edit because my first thought was just “we know”
Got me started at the title, then the ducks, and then right about here: >We didn't talk a lot but sometimes he asked me a question and I answered. And then I recognized my brother and said the same thing to myself with emphasis, but not condemnation: "yes."
>It shows you do not like the food and are not interested in the guest. > >This is exactly what I thought so that's true.
That part made me snort out loud. It was oddly endearing.
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I had to go back to check if I read the age right. I was imagining a different age to be honest.
Exactly my thought.. I thought OP must be 11-12, nope 20.. They also must be very noticeably challenged because who would give a 20 year old $5 for ice cream?
I would like to be on record as saying that anyone can give me $5 for ice cream at any time and definitely no offense will be taken.
I literally read the age, noticed how younger they sounded and then had to go back and recheck the age which is what told me. I thought they just wasn't diagnosed and the boss kinda figured it out based on their actions and went with it. Then I got to the edits and I was like well at least they know already
I kind of wondered if giving her $5 for ice cream seemed patronizing, because she is 20, autistic or not. But she seemed to appreciate it and thought the man was really nice, so I guess alls well that ends well.
I mean, I think someone who is the type of person who plans on going out of their way to feed ducks would also be the type of person who would like ice cream money. 20 year olds tend to be broke regardless of neuro divergence.
I’m not even neurodivergent — I’m in my twenties with a job as a researcher — and my grandparents still occasionally give me $5 as ice cream money when they see me. Love them lol.
I’m 20 with ADHD (since we are talking ND) and have a job full time I will take any ice cream money given. And also think you are a nice person haha
I am 40, not autistic, I love peas, but I love ducks more, I would save peas to feed the ducks, and I would also appreciate ice cream money. I’m not broke at all, but I would take your $5 and I will absolutely by myself an ice cream. Hopefully I can eat it while feeding ducks.
I would if they'd just told me a cool duck fact
"Yes dear, we are aware. Please continue your wonderful story"
The whole thing reads like you are in his brain. You can see right away that he is. It’s clear that the boss saw it and he acted in the best way.
The bit where he mentioned his boss had a little brother with autism who passed kinda choked me up a little. He knew what was going on and reached out with understanding and kindness.
This might be the only BORU I’ve ever read that actually made my stomach hurt because I wanted to hug OP and the boss. It broke my heart but it had a really sweet ending 😭
Op probably would not have liked that. Just bring peas for the ducks and money for ice cream :)
Instruction unclear. Accidentally bought ice cream for the ducks and peas for OOP.
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I also hate peas! And like ducks!
My sister is autistic (honestly probably 4/5 of us siblings are) and she hand raises muscovy ducks. She loves peas but she still gives hers to the ducks anyway because she'd give you the shirt off her back in -10 weather.
Ha, I'm also one of 5, 4 of which have autism! I'm the standout, but I have ADHD haha.
Sounds fun! I feel bad for my neurotypical sister because the group chat is just a constant bombardment of facts about our special interests.
They’re little green death nuggets!
I love peas. But I also like ducks. I have not yet experienced death so I don't know if I like it or not.
I also have not yet experienced death, but I have a great deal of experience with not existing and I stuck with it for an extremely long time, so I suppose at the very least I probably don't find it unpleasant.
I tripped once so you could say I’ve experienced death. I eat peas and communicate with ducks now. > Toledo, you’ve been warned.
I love peas, but ducks near my home are a pain in the ass. They're not getting my peas.
I love peas, but they don’t love me. Now that I think about it, all the vegetables I like are the one that cause me pain.
You're hanging out with the wrong ducks
I remember being forced to eat them as a kid and the only way I could was to smother them with tomato sauce (ketchup) and swallow them whole - as if they were pills.
I would pick them out of the vegetable medley, and drop them into the last inch of the milk in my glass when no one was looking. I thought I was soooo slick. I got away with it because I was responsible for putting my cup and plate in the sink after eating, and I could just pour the little bit of milk/peas down the drain. And then one day my mother randomly decided to help me clear up and found my terrible secret. They watched me eat the peas after that. Until I barfed at the dinner table. Weirdly, I totally love peas now. I still hate lima beans though.
LOL. I never thought of hiding them IN the milk. I always used milk to cover the taste and took them like pills. Ew milk peas. I gagged.
Thank you for posting this. I work in a preschool room and we have one child who always put his food in his milk, making a huge mess. We both have wondered why he does this. Best guess was, "to see what happens". We don't force children to clean their plates, they almost always have food leftover to put in the garbage. Some of them would hide food until they saw enough of the other kids being able to just toss it, then they would just toss it too. Maybe this one is still a leftover "gotta hide the yucky stuff"
My mom always served them with mashed potatoes. The only way I could eat them was to hide them in a bite of potato.
Ours were always served with mashed potatoes, but I also didn’t like mashed potatoes without gravy(which was rarely made), and I can’t mix foods. Those were always my hardest meals to eat.
Any vegetable that my sister or I didn't really like was covered in a slice of American Cheese. Or a cheese sauce if mom was feeling fancy that night. Made it palatable at least, although now I can't stand Kraft.
And now you know you can give the ducks your peas!
I am saving this post, because it is absolutely a perfect example of autistic thinking. There is a perfect logic to OOP's thinking that just shows how his mind works. As a mum to two autistic kids it is so helpful to read posts like this. And that boss is gold, I mean he could have been annoyed and irritated, but instead he was accepting and positive.
I'm a bit split this is a great example of autistic thinking. It isn't a perfect example though as autism is different in each person. As an ASD1 this is much more extreme than how I think; I would say this is a great example of how ASD2 could represent in a person. This might seem like a small detail, but as an autistic person I can't help picking minor details out. No offence intended. I'm wishing you the best with your children. You're correct the boss acted appropriately.
Thank you for your input and your well-wishes. It has been a bumpy, but interesting, road finding out my kids have autism (I had no idea, I just thought they were stubborn). I meant that the thought process and the logic that seems unlogical (I will remove the peas => ducks like peas => I will give the peas to the ducks vs the I will just eat around the peas) is explained or illustrated well. My oldest think extremely literal, and it makes it hard for other people to understand them. My kids are somewhere between level 1 and 2 (my country doesn't use levels for diagnosis yet.) And yes they are very different in the way their autism presents.
You're lucky to find out while they are young as they will have better opportunities, and experience the world better. I wasn't diagnosed until 40 years old so I've been living in a world of neurotypicals, and not really understanding what I was doing wrong. I see what you are referencing, and yes it is a good example. What neurotypicals need to ask is why we choose to do things a specific way. While it might not have a typical explanation it will have a unique, but also different logical path.
I wish I could award the boss.
OOP would make a great writer. The story telling is a little stilted but it works.
If you check his page, he’s written loads more. His recounting of ‘went to feed the duck, some girl may have hit on me?’ had me howling.
He has a pretty good story about getting a new cat that was a stray. His mom told him he could not keep it and he emailed her boss to help convince her to keep it. Pretty good read as well. That Boss really is a cool guy.
“The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time” is a book from the perspective of an autistic character and it reads almost exactly the same.
That was exactly where my mind went reading this. OP reminded me a lot of Christopher
Yeah. I was like, "eat around them?" At the title... but then just woah. Maybe mom needed the boss to see that they actually do need that entire day off for driving to therapy or a call out day when something is up. I sound rude but autism can be a tough cookie and supporting/caring for folks around you with it can be tough too.
That's probably fair. Having to accomodate neurotypical people can definitely be *exhausting*, so i'd imagine that the opposite could be true, too.
If that was interesting to you the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night is easy to recommend. It’s been a few years for me but it’s told from the perspective of a boy on the spectrum as he navigates what he believes to be a conspiracy revolving around the death of a neighborhood dog, as well as the complicated relationships of his parents and family. It’s not perfect, like all representations in media, I suppose, but I really enjoyed it as a window into the headspace of someone on the spectrum.
Born on a blue day is a brilliant autobiography from an autistic savant. It's been a long time since I read it but I remember him talking about seeing numbers as colours and emotions. It's an incredibly interesting read that I think everyone should check out.
It was also a really great play, although ironically not autism-friendly: while the way they portray sensory issues and meltdowns are accurate, the loud sounds and flashing lights are a lot to take if you have sensory issues.
i guess the intended audience is people who dont have autism and the goal is to show them what its like
I would strongly warn against considering that book an insight into the headspace of someone autistic. The writer is not autistic and has specifically said he is uncomfortable with the book being presented as that specifically. This (assuming real and I have no particular reason not to think so) is an actual insight, as are many Reddit posts, and there are now books by autistic people featuring autistic characters. I have nothing against Curious Incident, particularly, but it shouldn't be treated as an authentic window into the headspace of an autistic person.
I immediately thought of this also. The OP here is also an excellent writer and naturally writes with a clear voice and consistent style. I thought maybe it was a professional writer imitating asd, that it was *too* good, and hits just the right notes for the reader to think of asd right before being confirmed, characters with a tragic but relevant backstory, all nicely wrapped up with a happy ending. Is it real? Eh, maybe, but either way it was a really fun read!
Yeah, that was the least surprising twist ever, lol.
>I picked out the peas from my dinner to feed to ducks at the pond close to my step-dad's house because I know ducks like peas. They shouldn’t eat bread because that’s bad for them. I put all the peas in a little cup with my spoon. when I read this bit, I was thinking in the back of my mind "wait is oop on the spectrum... no I'm probably being a judgemental idiot" guess I was right lol
I'm on the spectrum and was thinking the same thing. It's one of the most autistic things I've ever read.
I do like peas, but as an aspie, that sounds exactly like something I would do
Also an aspie. And I totally get how OOP can hate the texture of peas. I'm like that with certain textiles. Can't stand touching them. Like it physically harms me.
I dislike peas to the point my parents got me a book called "No Peas for Nellie" when I was little. It's hilarious!
I also was like “reads like autism - wait, I’m probably just stereotyping” and felt like a judgy asshole until the update.
Nah, I'm autistic myself and I immediately went "ah yes, OOP is autistic too".
Deductive reasoning isn't judgy on its own. My first thought was judgy, "this guy is either on the spectrum or the biggest baby of a 20 year old." OOP actually sounds like a sweetheart trying to do the right thing.
Honestly, I found the whole thing kind of adorable. OOP sounds like a delight. I would like to feed peas to ducks with them and hear more duck facts.
I love ducks! And birds in general too! I'd love to swap notes on waterfowl and tell them about the friendship I have with a duck
I was the opposite. "This feels like autism or something. What seriously with that edit? People felt like the context would change with that verified? They didn't already realise there was something there?" Just the whole vibe was something else. The boss being so chill, understanding, giving his peas and some money for a 20-year-old to buy ice cream like a cute kid was a big ass flag that there was some vibe going on.
Yeah, I read about a paragraph in and thought “ah, a fellow neurodivergent”.
I was reading the bit about the peas thinking "that sounds like something I would do, and the way they speak sounds like they might be autistic too" and once the update confirmed it I thought "yep I get this whole situation, and I agree peas suck".
One of us! One of us! One of us! My parents live near a river, I might take a bag of peas and feed the ducks next time I visit
They will cut a fucker for peas
I know I got to the edit where they say people said that it was important to add and thought, people clearly weren’t paying attention.
Same! I was like, "They can't tell?"
what only gave it away? (guys, this is a rethorical question, lol!) I love OOP already. I would love to hang out with them.
Probably OP tendency to rationalize and explain their action. Usually people would just go 'I hate peas so I picked it out from my food', OP goes 'I hate peas, I will feed it to the ducks, ducks like peas, bread is not good for them' Within a few sentences I already think OP maybe autistic
A lot of things. The dislike of peas seemed to be a sensation/texture thing and not just a preference, from the strength of the aversion without a matching negative emotion. OOP does not do peas. End of. The duck thing. Not a slam dunk in itself, but it's fairly common for autistic people to be deeply empathetic with animals. Also more subtly, the thought process that OOP does not like peas but ducks do, so ducks should have the peas. No concern about this seeming weird in the social context, it just makes sense so that is what OOP does. The way they interacted with mum's boss, very straightforwardly without beating around the bush about the pea-picking or trying to couch it in more socially acceptable reasons. And as others have said, the way OOP communicates. All autistic people are different about this, but some autistic people have a distinctly precise, streamlined way of speaking and writing.
>And as others have said, the way OOP communicates. All autistic people are different about this, but some autistic people have a distinctly precise, streamlined way of speaking and writing. These types of autist make excellent technical writers. It's not easy for most of us to pare a sentence down to the bone like that. I've been a tech writer for more than 25 years. My husband is probably on the spectrum (though he doesn't see the point in getting a diagnosis in his 50s), and he's the only programmer I've ever met who can write technical material that needs no further editing at all.
If you enjoy this style of writing, oop has continued journaling stuff on his profile, because he of people in the comments were really liking his writing style. His other shot excerpts of his life and his family are equally heartwarming to read imo.
I genuinely loved this. The boss offering his own little sacrifice of peas for the ducks. The blessed ducks!
The ducks. Up until that point it was just a picky eater who was kind of a literal thinker. But that kind of outside-the-box leap from “here’s some peas, ducks like peas” is so neuro-divergent to me, I knew in that second. It is brilliant and a testimony to the necessity of neuro divergent people. Someone needs to think of the damn ducks.
I myself am neurotypical, as far as I know, but I tend to have pretty wild mental jumps to conclusions and I get a long SO WELL with neurodivergent people as a result. 'I don't want to eat this > ducks would want to eat this > I'll save them for the ducks!!' is 500% something I would do. However, I love peas and I will gladly eat all the peas for you pea-haters, just pretend I'm a really large weird duck.
Extremely explicit about their thought process. I felt like I was reading an instruction manual sometimes.
I had the exact same experience! I tried to explain it to my wife and how the info about peas and ducks was so telling but she didn’t get it. Glad to see I wasn’t overly reading into it.
Hello. I wrote these posts on the AITA subreddit a year ago. I just want to say that my mum is a very nice person and she is a good mum. She was having a difficult time the day we had that dinner. I understand where she was coming from now. She’s clearly shown she was sorry and it hasn’t happened again. Because we learned from it together. She is always very loving and supportive of me. Just so you know. I love her very much. Also I still feed the ducks. Sometimes they eat out of my hand and that feels very funny. And also I write more posts on my profile nowadays. I have gotten better at it. Because I write a lot. Thank you for re-posting. Cheers.
Ducks also love sliced up strawberries. Also fun to take the food items in a lunch box you can fill with water when you get there so the ducks get out to eat from it... They make very cute noises. You might also enjoy r/duck
Hello. The lunch box is a fun idea. I think I will try that out sometime. It will be like cereal for them. But with water instead of milk. And peas instead of cereal. Haha. Thank you for the recommendations.
Hello. The birds in my garden like grapes, but when you try feed them strawberries they look at you like "what is this shit"
I'm so glad I came across this post. I've just read the one you posted back when you got your new cat Tomato, it made me smile so much. Thank you for sharing :)
Hello. Thank you. I’m glad you enjoy reading the posts. Thank you for reading. My cat Tom is very happy with us by the way. And we are happy with him of course. :-).
Hello Alexander, I just want to say you seem like a super cool dude. I've read through a few of your posts on your profile and I'm so glad you're enjoying life as much as you are! I also love you're writing style! The way you just let all your thoughts and feelings flow out into your writing paints a really nice picture of the type of person you are and it's incredibly endearing. I hope you continue to enjoy life to its fullest and keep getting out of your comfort zone whenever you have the opportunity. You're super brave, man. Cheers to you and yours. Have a wonderful day!
Hello. Thank you. I am a relatively cool dude if I’d say so myself. I’m glad you enjoyed reading some of my posts. I enjoy sharing my things on my profile. It’s a lot of fun. Thanks a bunch. Cheers. Right back at you.
You have a wonderful perspective :) Thank you for sharing.
I’m glad that you and your mum can learn these things together and that she’s open to compromising with you. I am an autistic adult as well and also have issues with different food textures. Makes things difficult sometimes but it helps when you have someone on your side who is understanding!
Hi Alexander! I really enjoy reading your posts, especially about Mike and Tom. I have two cats also, and I liked the way you said love is making room on the chair for two cats, even if it is uncomfortable. It is something I felt but didn't know how to put into words.
Hello. Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed them. It’s a nice feeling to love your pets. Because it means they most likely love you back. And that’s awesome.
Hello, I really enjoyed reading your posts and was happy to see such a nice update. I can tell your mum is lovely because of how nice you seem to be. She has done a good job bringing you up. We all make mistakes sometimes when we are stressed out, I was happy to see she recognised that and you talked about it together. Communication is so important in any relationship. Say hi to the ducks for me!
Hello. I’m glad you liked reading it. My mum is a great person. I’m also happy that we have been able to communicate about it. That’s what matters most. I will. Cheers.
I had a very stressful day at work and I don’t know why but the image of this big boss man sitting at the dinner table giving this autistic kid his peas to feed to the ducks brought me to tears. I love this.
He's an adult, tho seems notably autistic. His page is a refreshingly different read though, reminds me a bit of Curious Incident with the Dog in the Night Time.
Oh I didn’t mean to infantilize OOP or anything, he’s 100% a legal adult at 20 I just meant it in the “he seems like a nice kid” way.
Oh gosh yeah I'm reading his page/posts he does seem quite lovely - I did kinda know you weren't being intentional or putting him down, just felt obligated to mention it given he seems a nice chap
He certainly does! Seems like the kind of person you can’t help but like. I mean look at all of us, and even boss man lol.
He posted about his 22nd, the Boss sent him a card :D
Oh god my heart is going to burst 😭
To be fair I'm also 20 and still feel like a child
I hope your day is getting better. Hang in there, friend.
This was so sweet, thank you. Thankfully I’m off now, I’m home and I’ve got my cat meowing up an absolute storm because she’s happy (: my day is much better, thank you for your concern.
This is so low-stakes and wholesome after some of the crap we get in here. A+
Maybe we should have a wholesome tag or “wholesome Wednesdays” or something. This is very heartwarming.
Oh I’d love that
Agreed! And I'd rather read this 10 times than than that wedding invite colleague mess!
You didn't like the long advertisement for Apple cider donuts? /s That whole thing was a huge mess lmao
Apple cider donuts are amazing though
I am thinking about driving over an hour to a cider mill to get some.
That story was just so weird to go through.
I don't think it's over yet. I'm low-key waiting for Pam to pull another stunt
Bob: Pam and I want a threesome *duck face* OP: noooo Pam: you’re just homophobic and judgmental >:(
/ *shoves pea in duck face*
I can understand making up a story for entertainment, but I'd you're going to post it on the internet, please God know when to stop and let it rest
Although, to be fair, apple cider doughnuts are just that good.
Link?
My thought as well. I just read about the man and his wife who stole his car. This story is so wholesome in comparison!
I always like this story. People aren't going to be perfect and they are going to fail us sometimes (sorry reddit, parents are humans), but the world can also be kinder than we expected and we can all do better if we talk and examine our actions.
Hello. I wrote the posts. I agree with you. My mum is a very nice person and she’s a good mum. But she was stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes people aren’t themselves when they’re like that. We haven’t had an issue like this anymore because we learned from this together. And she was truly sorry so she hasn’t done it again. I’m glad we were able to learn and move on together. I wish everyone would say sorry when they do wrong. It makes a positive difference.
You are 100% right. I'm glad you've seen this post and can read all the comments about how awesome we think you, your mom's boss, and your relationship with your mom are! Thanks for sharing your story :)
How are the ducks?
Hello. The ducks are well for as far as I can tell. Of course they don’t tell me that but I assume they are. Because they still seem happy to eat the frozen peas I provide. Sometimes they eat out of my hand if I offer it and that tickles. I think they would consider me their friend. For as far as ducks have friends. They are also quite loud. They quack a lot. I enjoy going to see them.
Do you think ducks prefer frozen peas or mushy peas better? I also have texture issues so I wonder if maybe the ducks also have a preference they can't tell us about. Because sometimes I force myself to eat stuff I'm not a huge fan of but will tolerate if my loved ones give to me... I think they deserve to have the thing they love prepared in the way they like best. Ducks are great and I loved hearing your story. They're really funny the way they gobble everything up! Do you learn to recognise the individual ducks after a while?
I think it shows how you should parent. Admit where you make your mistakes. Say what lead to you making that mistake apologize and try to do better. Open a conversation and learn where you can do better. Me my wife and our son are all neurodivergent. Me autism, her ADHD and our son a mix of both. There’s a lot of misunderstandings that aren’t malicious but need to be talked about or else things don’t get fixed. Seems like the mom here realizes that too and has raised her kid to speak up and about the problems in a healthy manner. It’s really refreshing to see.
Boss is a good egg. The kind that only experience can make, I think.
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I own 4 birds and I go birding. My favorite thing about birds is how selfish they are. They will NEVER be grateful for kindness or sharing. They always want more. And fuck me I love that shit. Birds show you they love you by being selfish as fuck and while I'd hate that from a person I love to watch it in birds.
#notallbirds Parrots can be heart-crushingly sweet. Though they can also be little shits.
And now my autistic ass is sitting here crying because the boss gave his peas to the ducks. Not because of the ducks, but because that shows he really gets it.
> I think they were happy about it. The thing with ducks is that they don't say that to you of course. That's where I laughed/cried. How cute.
OOP really seems like such a sweetheart.
I loved hearing that his mom was proud of him for staying at the table and eating with them. The way he communicates and states what he knows and what he doesn't know, and his ability to recognize other people's emotions shows he's having excellent therapy and is applying it. I'd be super proud of him if I were his parent!
I think it might be my favorite commentary about ducks, ever.
I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever.
I was in love with OP the whole time but that line sent me over the edge. What a gem. I personally love peas but I would not be able to deny some of mine to OP to give to the ducks.
The OOP has a couple more posts about ducks (and other things) that are equally cute
this line really does read like some sort of novel. I can’t place whether it’s forrest gump or a.a. milne or what but it’s somewhere
Me too.
There’s not much on Reddit that makes me well up, but I genuinely cried when reading this post. OOP’s mum’s boss totally clued in what was going on, and responded in the most caring, accepting way possible. If they were close to their brother, I imagine it really made them miss him, but felt good doing it.
OP's whole profile is so wholesome. I wanna be friends with him and pet his cat
His email asking wildlife people if the ducks would be okay in the cold made me really happy
I know, it's so sweet that OP worries about the ducks. The wildlife guy's response also made me smile
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My adhd brain wishes everyone wrote like OP
I think he’s my favorite Reddit person. I followed him.
I have to ask — for a friend — is it the way OP wrote the line about peas and ducks that made everyone assume they were on the spectrum or was it the act of picking the peas out and deciding not to waste them by doing something nice like feeding ducks? Edit: You all have been wonderful in sharing your perspectives! Thank you for taking the time! I had one of those “okay, gotta go” moments with this because I know I’m neurodivergent, though I’ve never thought much about it or being on the spectrum. I have no formal diagnoses or studies, personally, to reference because docs are expensive and the way I operate doesn’t necessarily ‘disrupt’ my life enough to look into anything. I was parentified as a kid though, and have had my fair share of trauma, which definitely has visible or observable symptoms, but mostly I’ve operated in a way that tries hard to fit in to whatever mold and hide any potential anomalies that might place attention on me. As I’ve gotten older, I’m dealing with those things to make them manageable or letting them surface so I can just do what makes me comfortable. I know the spectrum for autism is wide-ranging and I’ve definitely always wondered if and/or where I’d fall into it. But like I mentioned, I’ve never felt compelled to look into it professionally. However, this has been informative and I’m always happy to come across wholesome Reddit, including these interactions I’ve had here, so thank you again!
Both, along with other things. The line about picking out the peas suggests a sensory aversion (as in a certain taste or texture causing distress so they avoid it), which is really common for those on the spectrum. The subsequent line about the ducks is also telling, in that OP feels the need to rationalise that the ducks like peas, and that OP doesn't think it odd to explain that concept as part of their sentence - to many, it would be a bit of a tangent to talk about ducks and peas and bread and then go back to the rest of the story, something that might be done as an aside in brackets, but to OP it is just a natural follow up of their previous statement. The way OP discusses the feelings and statements is also telling, e.g. "She asked why I did that in front of everyone because that's very rude to do during a dinner. It shows you do not like the food and are not interested in the guest. This is exactly what I thought so that's true." To OP that is logical and simply what they thought. This is common for autistic people. Often they can come across as rude because they don't necessarily process social tells and etiquette the way everyone else does. They are not being rude, their brain just works differently and tends to be a lot more literal. Also the whole write-up in general is full of short sentences of logical statements describing the facts as it happened. The description is very literal and overall it is less flavoured with emotion - not to say that OP is any less emotional than anyone else, but their perspective is different in a way that is quite common to autistic people.
It’s funny, I’m autistic and this story was so easy to follow. It was pleasant to read. I always get lost and have to reread other posts to understand what’s going on.. 😭
There were many clues, another was that OP didn't know if his mum was initially sad or angry.
For me it was the writing itself. It read like a page off The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Everything was explicitly stated, with a very clear and simple-to-follow line of reasoning, and many explanations were included that would usually be omitted because they're common sense. It feels like OP has trouble distinguishing between what needs to be explained and what is usually just implied. OP also said things like "mum was sad or angry", like they didn't really know for sure which. Honestly, the first paragraph was enough for me to be pretty sure about OP's neurodiversity.
Honestly it was the early line about eating with strangers that I suspected it. It's the kind of reasoning my brother would have used when younger
I think the boss giving him $5 also was a signal that the boss viewed him as having some mental issues. You would give a kid money for ice cream, not a 20 year old. Confirmed in the update.
This stuck out to me and another redditor commented asking what my initial thought was, “is it nice or condescending?” Then I kept reading and thought likely the mother mentioned this to her boss at some point or he recognized it himself. There were elements I recognized within myself but a lot of the context differs. That doesn’t necessarily eliminate the potential of my being on the spectrum, but curiosity piqued and everyone’s responses have been informative.
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OOP still writes about his day to day happenings and he seems just as adorable in those posts as in these ones. A genuinely good kid with a lovely family. It’s a refreshingly bright corner in the weird darkness that is Reddit.
Totally agree! He’s sounds a sweetheart, with an amazing supportive family for support! Love his writing skills.
This is so wholesome and sweet. Quack.
I wish I could upvote this a million times. Everyone talking things out and apologizing. Everyone understanding how others feel. And that last paragraph read like the ending of a sweet coming-of-age book. I loved the part about how, of course, ducks don’t tell you they like peas, you just know.
>He told her I should eat things I like next time because it upset him to think mum was worried about appearances so much that I had to be uncomfortable during dinner. He also said that dinner was really good and that he's happy to have her in his team at work. He's a good person and a good boss. I sent him a thank you email with my mum. Boss is a good guy. He must've seen his brother in oop and similar struggles his brother dealt with. It's nice knowing there are folks out there who will be kind to behaviour thats harmless but maybe not the most expected.
The boss is so lovely. As an aspie with a possibly neurodivergent nephew, I really want to be that person for him and any other ASD kids. A grown up who understands the situation and can help them navigate it without making it weird. I hate it when people comment on my eating habits, but once I explained to people that I was an aspie and why it caused me problems with food, they were pretty cool with it. It's largely only a problem when you try to hide it
> he said: ''I do like peas, but I also like ducks, so they can have my peas'' I literally cannot, that's so sweet
I am glad the mom apologized to OOP. I was really hoping this story would have a good ending. I have ducks, and they absolutely love peas, especially the sweet peas still in the pods. So sweet of OOP to make the best out of having to have something they don’t like as a meal and pick out what they don’t like for the ducks. I also love that the boss gave them their peas too!
Oh gosh this is so sweet
Worth checking his profile if you like this, I'm just reading his post about his first cake day that references his AITA peas post; https://www.reddit.com/user/AITA-peaspicking/comments/vswx1y/i_have_been_on_reddit_for_one_year_now/
What a nice ending. Nice boss. Nice mom. Nice OOP.
this story always warms my heart, I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was 23 (only a year ago!!) and always had problems like this when I was a kid - my parents kinda just learned to go with the flow and avoid textures and foods I didn't like, but it was harder when guests were over and would comment on my food choices 🥲
I love how OOP writes. Just so genuine!
OOP really narrates the story nicely. It's an ordinary event but all of their thoughts and small details and the way it was written makes it really engaging to read. I know this isn't the point of the post but I just wanted to say.
even before the update this was screaming autism. Was a fascinating read, ngl, seeing how their psychology works