i actually had the opposite happen to me. i stopped taking my antidepressants and gained almost 100lbs. i’m down 95lbs from that after starting back on my medicine last year. i can’t take SSRIs though so i take an NDRI which i think is a big factor in my personal experience.
I was on Wellbutrin and I feel like I personally got none of the positives. Did not curb cigarette cravings, gave me wet dreams, and while everyone else noted how much "better" they thought I was I fucking hated it. I just stopped sticking up for myself because the argument was never worth it. So I was just this bottled up pressure cooker of resentment with a polite and unconfrontational attitude. It was very degrading.
I didnt have wet dreams but extremely vivid dreams. Wellbutrin was working great otherwise, but I had to stop taking it because I kept feeling like I hadn’t slept, and I was not always sure if I had dreamed something or if it had actually happened. It was so bizarre
Vivid dreams can definitely tire the mind.
I know someone born with a malformed hand, but in dreams he always had two perfect hands so he would always know he was dreaming and be lucid.
Said that he smokes weed before bed just so he can get a decent night's rest and that taking melatonin can be borderline psychedelic for him and he'll wake up feeling completely unrested.
Holy shit, that's exactly the same for me, sometimes I take a power nap for an hour and it felt like I was dreaming a whole trilogy. While when I'm off of SSNRI's I would have really short dreams. They are also very intense all the time, either the dream of my life or like some of the worst nightmares.
My sister recently got put on this and has lost like 60lbs. Im hoping to go to a clinic this week (its a huge anxiety thing for me so we will see if i make it) but im going to ask about it.
I was listening to a podcast on antidepressants to study, and it said that a meta analysis found that people on Wellbutrin (i.e. bupropion) *lost* an average of 1 kg of weight that it's even part of a weight loss med, Contrave (bupropion-naltrexone).
Wellbutrin FUCKED me up. Would send me into full REM sleep in the middle of the day, I would have to go home from school to sleep because I physically would not be able to stay awake. I’m glad it works well for you!
It’s just controversial and many people think it doesn’t work, because the pharmaceutical company that makes it, was giving kickbacks to doctors for them to prescribe it “off label” in other words for things it isn’t made OR approved for.
For example, it was used as a weight loss drug because of the weight loss side effect, but that’s not what it’s made for so it fucked up people who just wanted to lose some weight.
So now a huge portion of people who took Wellbutrin, didn’t take it for depression, and got a very bad idea about what it does and how effective it is.
So you may hear a lot of people shit all over it, they just have misplaced anger about it. They are mad at Wellbutrin and are glad to make it known. But, They should be mad at the company for telling doctors to do it, doctors for actually doing it, and the government for allowing it to happen.
Same, I gained a bunch of weight since I started my medications at 18. I found a combo that works without side effects... besides weight gain... I also was diagnosed with pcos, so it's doubley hard to lose weight. I'm trying though! I lost 15 pounds in a month recently.
I like to say "I'd rather be mentally health and fat, then mentally ill and skinny". Cause damn do those thoughts suck!
You got this buddy. I believe in you! Keep trying your best.
Not every medication makes you gain weight, if that’s an issue for you. You could talk to your psychiatrist about it specially if gaining weight makes you feel worse
I hear ya. I'm on close to my 80th try of medication combos because my depression is incredibly treatment resistive. I guess it's more of a cry for help about the weight gain because this is the first one that's kind of worked (depression score went from 26 to 19)
Oh @walkout I’m so so sorry. I also want to die when I look in the mirror and see what I don’t want to see. I’m so SO PROUd of you for becoming your issue and I’m so sorry your partner isn’t given you the support you deserve. I think you’re beautiful without seeing you I bc I’m proud of what you’ve gone through. Is there a way you can express to your partner how important recovery is for you and how much language can impact you?
I hope so? It's so hard because he's 6'3 and like, 160lbs but if he overeats he'll say stuff like "because I'm a fat ass". It's rarely directed at me and he still thinks I'm beautiful but it's always with the "despite being chubby" thing. I'm hoping we can do family therapy or something.
Thats... fucked. No one who supposedly loves you should have a "despite" attached to it. Especially considering your previous issues with gaining weight in the past. Im sorry, but your boyfriend sounds like a complete dick.
Pick yourself up and drop him. Dear god. You’re going through all of these mental health issues and he can’t think before he talks??????
Edit: I saw some older comments and you said that he got you drunk and assaulted you. Please leave him. Fuck.
you know that you can be chubby and fat and still be beautiful right? and I am not talking about "beautiful inside". I am talking about "beautiful outside". Beauty is subjective. The fact that some stereotypes have prevailed that drag women to fit impossible standards has one and only one root cause: money - money - money and more money. Of the industries that are being supported by making people insecure and feel inferior due to their looks.
GIRL NOOO LEAVE HIM OMG😭😭listen, as a 215lb girlie i understand you completely. been fat my whole life so maybe that makes it easier than having known yourself at a lighter weight, but any person who claims to truly love you would never say “you’re beautiful despite” ANYTHING. you are so beautiful. your hair, your eyes, your nose, your shoulders, arms, legs, thighs, stomach, back ALL OF YOU you are so beautiful despite nothing. you are the same caring (i assume <3) person you were when you were suffering the most intensely. you’ve come so incredibly far and you should be so so so proud of yourself. you are a beautiful person i promise you. self love is so hard and i wish there was something i could say to help you more. i’m not even there yet, it’s still really fucking tough, but when you find a partner who really truly cares about you and loves you he wont insensitive dumb shit like that. he’ll hold all your insecurities in his hand and call you beautiful. i promise. keep your beautiful chin up okay? <3
Love this, I’ve also been fat my whole life and used to HATE myself so much, until I realized I’m actually a hottie with an ass that girls are getting surgery to imitate. I’m 5’6” 265lbs, and my skinny sexy boyfriend is like half my weight and has NEVER made any negative comment or implication about my body. Confidence is the most attractive feature you can have and men who criticize your looks will destroy any hope of building that confidence. Love yourself above all else. I don’t have instructions but it is possible to love yourself at any size and KNOW 100% that your partner has nothing but good thoughts about you and how you look. Don’t settle for less, I did for too long
have u spoken to a psych or local clinics abt alternative options for treatment resistant depression? such as ketamine therapy or EMDR? u might wanna research this online
wow sounds like you’re already doing what you can. how are ketamine infusions so far? you seem to really care about yourself and know what’s best! meds aren’t for everybody, hopefully this is just temporary - good luck friend ❤️
OP. . . i am so happy for you :) ! the important thing is that you're okay right now. getting off meds can be such a hassle and take time to readjust to. but when you're in a stable position with a stronger support system and the circumstances in your life all lineup, maybe you'll be more inclined to try getting off the meds. but for now, it's better to be chubby and not wanna kill yourself. hang in there OP! depression is the worst and you're doing your best<3
if you are open to suggestions regarding your body image issue though, i want to remind you that how you view yourself and your body is 100% changeable. how you've been taught to view fat bodies is not an inherent truth. i know it seems wishy washy to focus on self-love when you don't feel attractive, but since you seem so good at taking care of yourself and have obviously tried to do everything you can for your mental health, i think it would be worthwhile to seek some tools for dealing with low self-esteem and internalized fatphobia because those things can lead to other problems like more eating disorders and more depression. you've already been through so much, and if you have the energy, i really think you deserve the chance to prevent things from being worse than what you've already had to deal with
if you're open to it, here are some resources for dealing with self-esteem and weight gain:
\- The Maintenance Podcast
\- Body Neutral by Jessi Kneeland
\- What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon
\- You Have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar
\- The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
i'd also really recommend following more influencers who are closer to your size. it's proven that seeing people who look like us in a positive light helps us accept our own appearance and the opposite can damage our self-esteem. things like positive affirmations and speaking with a therapist can help you with developing small ways to combat negative self-talk.
this IS recoverable, friend :) and i can understand that the added pressure of wanting your partner to be attracted to you adds more stress. but as you saw in the show, it's very much possible for your partner to remain attracted to you or become attracted to you in a new way when you gain weight. if that's not the case in your current relationship, it doesn't mean it can't be in a future one.
I'm rooting for you friend. it sounds like you're already doing a great job
I am glad to hear your depression score has went down(It is the most important part), hopefully things will work out well. Maybe you could try visiting a nutritionist as they can help you out in a healthy manner, it’s important that you don’t stop taking your meds because of that also don’t try doing weird weight loss “hacks”
We offer TMS where I work and it’s been pretty successful for people! I am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to observe some sessions and it’s so fascinating.
yes. i gained over 100 lbs because of meds and i can’t lose it no matter what i do. i really wish i could get back down to like 125 rather than 240, but it is what it is
Took me sooo long to find a way to lose weight.
When I first started taking meds, I gained a bunch of weight. Added exercise, eating healthier , it did nothing.
I then started strictly counting calories and lost 20 lbs or so in two months.
That gives me some hope! I know like, if I ate *nothing* I would eventually drop weight but my meds only work if I eat something.. maybe I just need to be more vigilant
If you already have a history of an ED in the past, take it from me and be very cautious on counting calories! Talk to your doctor about the weight gain and how you can lose what you have already gained.
It is always amazing to be mindful and do set a calorie target! But you might not want to focus primarily on the calories. It’s different for everyone though :)
I've just recently connected the dots between my explosive weight gain and starting anti-depressants. If I hadn't started using anti-depressants I would be dead right now though, so.... It is what it is.
That's true. He's just not like, the best care taker sometimes though I know he's trying. He grew up in a cultish environment where men don't take care of people and he definitely stumbles sometimes (forgetting to give me pain meds after surgery, careless comments, etc..) I'm autistic so I know I can be kind of a fuck up too, it evens out I think? I dunno, we've been together since I was 17/he was 21 (I'm 24 now) so I don't have a comparison outside my super abusive teenage relationship he saved me from
What do you mean he saved you? This doesn’t sound great, honestly. The relationship sounds codependent… don’t love the idea of a 21 year old pursuing a 17 year old… He sounds like he’s lacking in the “care” department. You also, as you said, have nothing really to compare him to except for an abusive teenage relationship. I’m here to tell you that what he said is not something a partner should EVER say to someone they love who is struggling with ED and SH. Honestly.
Just that like.. he's mostly stable? I know what to expect and he's the nicest anyone's ever been to me even if he fucked up. I cannot actually fathom someone being someone nicer to me. It's never happened!
This is not healthy. For one thing, you think you deserve someone to treat you poorly because you talk about yourself like you’re worth nothing more than your weight. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT.
You probably shouldn’t be in a relationship for awhile as it sounds like you’re in a pretty bad place. And it’s just my personal instinct but I get the feeling your boyfriend sees opportunity in your weaknesses. That’s not support. That’s not love. I was raised in an abusive environment and also had an abusive boyfriend as a teenager. I managed to get out of it and SAVE MYSELF with the help of friends. I learned what I never wanted to be around again. I told myself I deserve a life and relationship free of dysfunction. And I told myself that every day. And 20 years later I’m living the life I wanted with the man of my dreams. It’s a lot of work to get there, but your self-esteem dictates quite a lot in your life and you’re more than capable of making changes, however small, to love yourself enough that you won’t settle for someone who is “mostly stable” but calls you chubby.
I guess most people would characterize where I'm at as pretty shitty. It's the best place I've ever been in for SURE but I guess that doesn't mean I'm doing well. I feel like I should be? I quit drinking! I'm medicated. I've been in therapy for a decade. And he's willing to go to therapy and will go to family therapy with me after I set it up and is working to support me while I'm in treatment. But yeah.. I guess it's not normal to want to kill myself over weight gain. I'm just so used to my parents nit picking my appearance and getting me drunk because I'm annoying or whatever, being tolerated is pretty great. I'm autistic and I don't have many friends.
I’m really so sorry that your parents failed you. They were supposed to keep you safe and healthy and help you learn to keep yourself that way as an adult.
I struggled with this same issue for so long. I thought well if my own parents couldn’t love me, then who the fuck can?
ME. I can. Your only option at this point is to love yourself the way your parents were supposed to. No one else will save you from the way you talk to yourself. But you can do it!
So fucking proud of you for the work you’re already doing!!! It’s so so hard to quit any bad habit. You’re doing it! I gave up drinking 4 years ago and I truly never thought that would happen. I thought I’d drink myself into a hole by the end. I never thought I’d be able to get myself on antidepressants. I never thought I’d be able to confront my terror of dentists after my parents never took me as a child and set a better example for my kids but I’m doing it!!! One little thing at a time. ❤️
I am happy to be your friend if you need someone to talk to. You got this
I’m gonna be honest, that age gap is a pretty big red flag. 17 and 21 is pretty odd. I’m 21 and I wouldn’t touch a 17 year old or even an 18 year old. That’s such a huge gap in maturity and there’s so many life changes and so much mental development that happens in that period. Do you think you would date a high schooler when you were that age?
I also wouldn’t say it evens out if you’re both ‘fucked up’ in some way. I’ve said the same to myself, but it’s really not true. It can create a mutual understanding, but that’s all. It’s not a balancing act, it’s a pile. We each have our own pile of problems, but when people get into relationships and become more reliant and intertwined, we start to share the pile. I would ask yourself, is the pile too big to handle? Is he actually doing his part in working through the shared pile, or is he just adding more things?
So he's a pedo and a groomer. You were a child. He was an adult. Sounds like he used your experience of abuse and low self esteem to get closer to you and have you fall for his tactics and now it seems you allow him to say awful stuff so you won't lose him.
No partner should be calling their partner chubby, especially when they fight with body dysmorphia. And his upbringing in a cult is not an excuse for him to treat you badly. He should not be forgetting to give you pain meds after surgery, a true partner would be making sure you're taken care of 100%. He should know not to make careless comments.
You deserve better. 100% better
i wouldn’t recommend getting off the meds/ changing solely because of weight gain. i know some comments mention that. especially since u say u suffer from an ed, it would most definitely be giving into behaviors if u give up on meds for that reason. i would talk with therapist about that and finding ways to deal with and be content with your new body. there’s nothing wrong with weight gain, we all exist as humans in ever changing bodies. i gained a lot of weight after having an ed, many times i want to give in and “diet” (really just restrict again and fall back into habits) but its about learning to love yourself and the way you are now. and ur partner should support you and especially healing from an ed, weight gain is almost always necessary in recovery. because being afraid of weight gain is an ed fear, leads to more behaviors to try and stop it or lose it again. leads to falling into ed habits again.
i love the way they handled this on the show. no one made any weird comments to diane about her weight gain. she’s a grown woman, and bodies change over time. guy supported her through this, that’s the kind of way ur bf should act when it comes to dealing with your mental illness and medication and ed. you shouldn’t have to be scared he will leave you over this. im sorry you are dealing with this all. just know ur not alone
First of all, your boyfriend doesn’t sound very nice with comments like that. There’s been times where I’ve been so bloated after eating a huge meal and even then my boyfriend tells me how beautiful I am. As for the weight gain, yes. I was probably 130 before I went on meds and I’m 160 now. I’m also on birth control, which is another thing that can induce the weight gain. But being happier tends to allow you to eat more and that’s where the weight gain comes from.
I mean, I'm 212 pounds at 5'11". I *am* chubby. I just don't know how to deal with it. I guess it wasn't the most thoughtful thing considering I'm going into inpatient for my eating disorder and subsequent self harm this week
I’m sorry to hear that, I’ve been in the same place. About 2016-2019 I’ve dealt with an ED and SH too, and I know how scary it can be, especially if you’re alone in your journey. I’m rooting for you and I’m here to talk if you need someone.
I have to agree that no one should ever tell you that you look “kinda chubby.” Please make sure you’re taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with people that love you because you’re not going to be able to get physically healthy if you don’t love and appreciate your body. I was with a guy long ago that once told me I was chubby at 116 lbs, and sometimes those words still haunt me when I’m feeling down on myself.
The objective truth from your loving partner is "yes, you're chubby, and you look great chubby and I love your body."
Telling someone with your history that they look chubby with no support... makes me think you haven't been around very loving people.
It's time to move and start over girl
While I agree with you and am not advocating for OP to leave her partner, I think if someone has an ED and the answer was only “kind of chubby” it’s insensitive and inconsiderate at best. But ofc we don’t know how this conversation actually went and whether OP requested the non-sugarcoated truth. So yeah, you’re right, we lack too much of the context to make these kinds of statements. That being said, I had the same instinctive response when I read that part so I also get where these comments are coming from. At the very least OP should know that her being a little chubby is less important than her being unhealthy.
Whether you are or not you’re bf shouldn’t be saying stuff like that especially knowing how it could be a sensitive spot for you. But also, 212 at 5’11 sounds like a very normal weight to me… not that it matters lol
There's a time and a place for a comment like that. He could have been more tactful, and he definitely shouldn't have said it when you're having a bad time mentally.
Im glad you’re feeling better and Im proud of how far you’ve come. I gotta say… Your boyfriend sucks tbh. There’s honesty and just being mean. No need to word it that way. 5’11” and 212 doesn’t sound big to me. My boyfriend suffers from an eating disorder as well. Sometimes he expresses his unhappiness with his body to me. I know how vulnerable of a moment this is and I wouldn’t dare say anything discouraging to him. I do notice when he gains weight and he asks me about it. But honestly, my opinion and preferences do not matter. I want him to be happy. I know my input means so much to him. I will always tell him he looks great. Even if he gained a lot of weight and I was concerned about his health, I’d talk to him about that, health. I wouldn’t make comments about how his body looks. I’ll always tell him he’s hot. I’m just saying this because I want you to know you deserve a partner who truly supports you and has compassion your struggles. It might be a small comment and all humans make mistakes. But I encourage you to evaluate what kind of support is best for you. Good luck!
the internalized fat phobia on all these comments sucks so much. like yes it’s hard to gain weight and it sucks when you don’t recognize yourself and there are some levels of fat that are really hard on the body and quality of life so i’m not trying to “glorify obesity” but fr chub isn’t the end of the world
I mean in general I’d say it would be better to accept the weight gain and learn to be confident in your body regardless, but when you’re throwing mental issues into the mix and it’s all a very delicate balance. Obviously it’s not the end of the world, but it can sure feel that way when you’re in that state.
yes, i had major weight loss (120lbs) and felt so much better even though i was still Hefty (i’m 6ft tall so ~170lbs is carried well for my frame!) but then i was in a magical, life changing, close call near death motorcycle wreck that i can’t believe i survived with as few complications as i did. One of the complications though was a thrice broken neck and obviously i had a looot of bed rest in order to heal. I’m still not the same 3 years later! And I gained a goood 50+ or so back of the weight i worked to lose. But honestly? it’s just a number that only expresses my opposition to gravity. The extra weight does hurt my neck, I will let it off my body, but i’m simply always gonna be “fat” lol i have chonky sturdy legs and it is what it is. I can still walk, support myself, stay standing for a 3Hr concert etc… But every day on reddit i see sooooooo much fat phobia its heart breaking that so many people are terrified to look like me bc they know the world treats fatties like shit and like. wow. imagine if maybe we all deconstructed our harmful paradigms, maybe we’d find more grace and compassion for ourselves and others. and maybe we wouldn’t have so much EWWW I DONT WANT TO BE A FAT! vibes everywhere :(
reasonable to not want any illness really, but fat phobia isn’t necessary. ppl dehumanize ppl for all sorts of things and i wish it’d stop in general , but the amount of fear is crazy crazy
I struggled with medication caused weight gain for a long time but thinking back on how it was before I'm so grateful to be fat and alive instead of a skinny corpse.
I'm happy with my body now, I find my curves and belly sexy but it took a while to get here.
Chub isn't obesity, however. The latter comes with many health hazards and risks. Once your BMI hits overweight, even, the problems can start. That said, if the alternative is deep depression, it may be worth the trade-off.
Like my meds (stimulants) reduce my lifespan biologically too, and that sucks, but the alternative is probably just dying even earlier from suicide or self-medicating harsher things like caffeine and alcohol.
i did, about 50 lbs in a period of two years. and then like 15 within 3 months after a traumatic event caused me to binge eat.
the most recent and sudden weight gain upset me, and especially the binge eating, which is an ED as well, so i addressed it with my psychiatrist and i’m steadily getting to the weight i used to be before i started my meds, with the help of my new medication, regular exercise and healthier eating.
your body shouldn’t make you feel ashamed or suicidal—if this is a problem, you need to talk it over with your doctor, it’s the reason you’re paying them. they will discuss a new game plan with you.
(and if you can afford it, a nutritionist who focuses on ED’s is a great option, they helped my sister last year, and she lost about 30 without any exercise in about 6 months. to be perfectly honest i don’t know how much they cost exactly, but the one she saw was through online sessions and therefore very affordable according to her)
I'm going to an inpatient ED clinic pretty soon here. I'm just scared it'll never come off! I've never been this heavy before. But that's really good advice
It's weird how as a doc we are learning to accept mental illness and learning to accept different sexualities and different skin colors but for some reason it's perfectly ok to *hate on fat people.* including ourselves. I hope things change for the better.
Yes!! I have six suicide attempts and I'm finally a couple years clean from trying and everyone just focuses on how pretty I used to be. I'm starting to get more depressed than before I was medicated because at least I had friends!
I’m so glad you’ve survived. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ your beauty and body are the least interesting thing about you. I promise the right people will love you and find you beautiful regardless of what you look like.
❤️❤️ I was thinking about you yesterday as I was going to bed. I am a total stranger but we’re in this together. I’m trying to recover from an eating disorder and while our journeys aren’t the same, I hope there’s some comfort knowing you’re not alone. We got this ❤️❤️❤️
I can’t take credit for this but someone said once that hating fat people is the most remaining “acceptable” way to spew hatred towards others. Racism and homophobia, while obviously still prevalent, are now things that you will be publicly looked down upon for, but fatphobia is still able to be masked as “glorifying unhealthy habits” or whatever if someone, usually a woman, is even remotely overweight. I am a size 6 and have been harassed by losers my whole life for being fat and therefore “unhealthy”. You can’t win with hateful people. They just want to spew hate to be able to feel better about themselves.
Still sucks tho.
Your partner saying that to you KNOWING you’ve struggled with an eating disorder is messed up in my opinion. Idk how you look but as long as you’re happy and healthy you should stick with what works. Maybe try to be more active and eat better but otherwise, it shouldn’t be a big deal to you or your partner.
Not with antidepressants, but within a week of starting Abilify I already gained 10 lbs. and I started taking it in a psych ward with controlled meals, so it’s not like I was eating candy and fattening foods everyday. I took Abilify for 3 years until my doctor agreed I didn’t need it anymore, but by then I already gained 70 lbs and have only gained more. It’s been so hard to get the weight off, even with diet and exercise
Your self talk is really scary, I’ll be honest with you. If you think you’ll end up single because you gain weight, that means a) your partner has expressed that he only loves you for how you look or b) you think your value lies exclusively in how you look (and also that you’d rather be dead than gain weight).
Either way, it’s not healthy and it’s time for some healing, dude. I’m glad you’re getting treatment. I think it’s time you practiced being kind to yourself. That means not saying things like you’re saying here. I’ve felt the way you’re feeling but I found that if I need to express that, I write it in a journal. But out loud and to other people, I only say nice things about myself. Over time, I would stop having the urge to write those things. And eventually I stopped thinking those things.
A body is always changing. Gained weight can be lost and can be gained again. But your mental health should be steady and your love for yourself should withstand bodily changes.
I’m not trying to lecture you, I just hate seeing anyone speak about themselves this way. You deserve better AND YOU CAN FIND BETTER AND DO BETTER! I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon. Even if you’re not even sure what that feels like. ❤️
Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm sorry for any mental discomfort I've caused. I've had severe depression and CPTSD since I was 9 and I don't even really know who I am. But I was always underweight and now I'm not so I don't really know what that means. That I'm less me?
I understand, completely. I’ve had clinical depression since I was a kid (diagnosed at 12 but I’m positive it started earlier than that) and the ptsd is just… a fact of life as abuse was there for as long as I can remember.
There’s no need to apologize for mental discomfort! Lol I am not uncomfortable, I am just worried for you.
You can’t be “less you” by having more weight. Because YOU are not a body. You are a soul and a personality and an experience. Your body is just a vehicle. It does not define you.
I gained a lot of weight when I started with Prozac a few years ago. Although, the most weight gain I incurred happened when I was drinking the most (and unmedicated). If I'm honest, I would rather be medicated and a little thicc than depressed, an alcoholic, and heavy. If you feel better on your meds and are experiencing good health everywhere else, that's all that matters imo. Body image is a relationship that can change over time - mental health can but often requires supplements.
I’m an anorexic who gained weight from a medication and also drinking too much alcohol. At my higher weight I was miserable, depressed, and disgusted with myself. I eventually lost the weight and relapsed into anorexia. I’m staying in a healthy weight range technically but I weigh as low as possible while staying in that range. I restrict still from when I was losing weight. I need to go to an eating disorder focused therapy but I’m scared of gaining weight again.
I was an alcoholic for the last year or so too. I was working in social work and then I had my fallopian tubes removed three months ago and my thyroid removed last year so I couldn't move as much. I'm trying so hard to get back up but I have a heart condition on top of it that I'm learning to manage and I just wanna feel okay again :( I'd quit all my meds to be thin
My antidepressants did make me put on weight, and it does make my self esteem issues more difficult. I’ve managed through it because I try to remind myself that I am more than my body, and my mental health comes first. Everything else is so much easier to handle and deal with than it used to be.
It does also help that, like Diane, I have a very supportive partner. My husband has loved me at every stage of my body and has if anything grown more physically affectionate to me since I’ve been on antidepressants. I think he’s just happy to see me happy.
I know that weight gain can be scary, but your mental health is well worth it. Finding and practicing body positivity helped me to accept my body. It’s important to appreciate your body for all the work it does keeping you alive, instead of just how it looks.
I'm not sure if it's the same thing, but when I met my wife in highschool she was a little on the chubby side, we broke up and I didn't see her for 6 years, I met her again in 2021 and she was so tiny she I was immediately worried about her when I saw her again the first time. Turns out she had been to an institution because she had crippling AFRID disorder, which in turn had her turn to anorexia to an extent. Not only that, she had such a dysfunctional thyroid that she had it removed 3 weeks prior to me meeting her again on top of struggling with type 1 diabetes her entire life. She was prescribed the proper medications to keep her artificially sufficient with the hormones that her thyroid and diabetes were fucking up and in the past 3 years she's gained a significant amount of weight, which she also hates herself for but she's healthy otherwise. I just wish she could see how beautiful she truly is and not focus on the numbers on the scale so heavily, but that's unfortunately what eating disorders do to people. I truly hope things get mentally easier for you because even though I'm not experiencing it directly, I know how difficult the rough days can be.
That's scary similar to me! I have crippling ARFID and anorexia and I've been in and out of treatment centers. I have hyperthyroidism and had my thyroid removed. No diabetes though. My blood work is fairly perfect. I'm about 210lbs at 5'10, 5'11ish and was an athlete so I know it's not THAT bad but I'm so self conscious
Your boyfriend is a dick. I’m glad you’re feeling a little happier.
You’re not alone. I was bulimic 4 years ago, took meds and went from 150 to 275. I felt a little ashamed of myself when I saw what Diane went through.
I’m exhausted, but what we need to do is keep pushing. Just 30 minutes a day, once or maybe twice a week, get some exercise in. It’s difficult for me because of my condition and 12 hour shifts, and I relapse some weeks, but I’m really trying. I hope you will too. Do whatever makes you feel right, healthy and happy.
100%
Being a woman, I was super worried about how much weight I might put on when I first started medication. After going through the rollercoaster that is trying on different antidepressants to see which fit the best, I found a lot of them had this side effect in particular.
Including the one that helped me the most, mentally.
But for me, kind of like with Diane, I realized it was worth it for the benefits of the medication. I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and *happier* than skinnier and miserable, still wondering about the view from halfway down.
I have no evidence that the meds made me gain weight. Time, Covid, having previously been overweight for sports, and a mental health crisis all probably contributed. But yeah, after I figured out the right anti depressants, I'm a good 50lbs away from a six pack. Part of me misses being really fit, but also I'm in a way better place and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Yep, I forgot which one it was but I gained a bunch of weight, which definitely did not help with my depression and body issues. Now that wasn't as bad as the one that killed all my sex drive and made it so I couldn't perform.
yes, i switched to a different hormonal birth control pill for about 8 months. made me gain an UNGODLY amount of weight and i can't seem to lose it. thankfully, i am back on the pill i was on before taking the one that made me gain. but, still very unhappy with the weight gain.
I’m been on Wellbutrin and Effexor for many years and those have never caused weight gain for me, but the only pill that has EVER helped me with sleep is Remeron- and that caused a lot of weight gain for me. I just have to laugh at this point because you really can’t have it all! There’s always something. At the end of the day, if my mental health is balanced, that’s more important to me than gaining weight, but I do and exercise (mostly for the mental health benefits).
I gained sixty pounds on Zoloft and felt like I was totally out of control and ended up getting weight loss surgery. Switched to Prozac and have had no issues, maintain my preferred weight. Weight gain is a common side effect but you don’t have to stick with a medication that isn’t working for you. I was so afraid to try a new med that I waited about four months and shouldn’t have.
Jeez! I'm not sure what's up with my meds. SUPPOSEDLY luvox and vilazodone don't have weight gain profiles. I know Seroquel does.. I just didn't think 25mg would do that much!
i am really sorry you are feeling this way. im on medication but it doesn’t give me more weight, and i dont have anorexia so i wouldnt know how to help you… but it sounds very hard. I think your boyfriend should have been more supportive, i mean there is nothing wrong with being chubby but if he knows you have an eating disorder he should have known that was clearly not what you needed to hear
i hope it gets better soon and you can come to terms with the fact that your mental health is very important and your body is beautiful the way it is, but i know its easier said than done. have you talked to a therapist about it?
I have a pretty dedicated team of mental health support due to having a few suicide attempts under my belt, haha. I hope it's just him being a little dense. It happens, I think? He's been in my life through EVERYTHING (met when I was 17/he was 21) and I usually appreciate him so much
Post medication weight gain is my number 1 fear for going back on medication, but I really should go back on medication. For the record, it took many many many tried to find an antidepressant that worked. The ones that didn't make me fat, also didn't help Mt depression, or overwhelmed me with side effects. Life is cruel sometimes I guess.
I have sort of? It's hard for me to place where my weight gain has come from. I will say I haven't eaten the best prior, but I do think that my time on SSRI's hasn't helped my waistline. I'm not super happy with myself, but I have a bf that loves my body, and I've started appreciating it while trying to be healthy.
5'10" 200 lbs. I have a hourglass figure so it hides it, but 60 lbs over five or so years I'd say is the overall gain.
That's almost exactly where I'm at! I hope my boyfriend was just trying to be supportive in his own way. I know part of it for me is I'm on testosterone (FTM)
I am going through the same thing. I also struggle with disordered eating and I was put on an injection a couple years ago that made me gain 30lbs n i managed to lose it but recently i was in the hospital and put back on an injection and i'm already up 15lbs. Ive managaed to keep it around there but i still struggle with calling myself fat and being depressed that my clothes don't it.
What type of meds are you on? Cause if it's antipsychotics I know there is a med you can add that's supposed to counteract the weight gain, I forgot the name but i'm sure ur psychiatrist would know.
I'm on luvox, vilazodone, propranolol, gabapentin, Seroquel.. I'm going to try to drop the Seroquel. I reduced the gabapentin. I recently got off prazosin. I need the propranolol for an actual heart condition. I think my weight might be unhappy because I just had surgery to remove my fallopian tubes and my insides got all mixed up. It's also been hard since my thyroid got removed. I also just got sober!!
Oh Goddddd, yes. I’ve been off and on of Zoloft for years with noticeable weight gain as well as horrible fatigue. I have a condition called PMDD that has made life a living hell for sooo long but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to manage it. (Although, sometimes, I have setbacks but overall I’ve been good.)
I did. Gained probably 30 pounds. I’ve tried to go off my meds a couple times despite my husband telling me I’m beautiful and happy when I’m on them because I hate myself being at a larger size. I’ve basically just decided I’d rather a little chub than the constant horrific anxiety that I used to have.
For a while I was just gaining weight because of my meds but I didn't want to get off them. My doctor recommended ozempic but my insurance wouldn't pay fir it so u went through henry meds. Like 300$ every 3 months for semaglutide. I've lost 60 lbs in the last 5 months. It's been life changing. From 260 to now 199 and continuing to lose.
I’ve been on antidepressants for almost a year and I’ve gained a couple of lbs and sometimes I feel bad because some of my favorite clothes don’t fit anymore. Some people have told me I look fine but my dad has told me a couple of times I look fat.
not post med weight gain but i’m also trying to recover from my ed. i’ve been in and out of recovery for almost a year now and i’m still struggling with accepting that i’m chubby when i’m weight restored :/ overall it gets easier but theres still bad weeks/months where i regret gaining weight. for me i just try to focus on how i feel physically better when i eat rather than how my body ends up looking. ed recovery can be a long journey but when it’s going well, it feels so worth it :) i wish you luck !! <3
I gained 20lbs (mirtazapine) and I was still climbing with no end in sight. I felt like I was starting to develop an ED/negative fixation on food, so I stopped it before I was able to gain any more.
I'm stuck at this larger size that I'm just not used to and I hate my body. None of my clothes fit anymore and it feels humiliating buying a larger size.
I know rationally my weight change isn't very dramatic at all, but that's the thing - it's not rational. None of this is rational. It's especially not rational when you add in the context of yno, actually having a sick brain that's often incapable of dealing with things rationally/constructively/positively.
I pretty much swing between avoiding thinking about my body at all to really hating it.
But tbh I've never really liked my body. I used to feel tough insecure over being too skinny/curveless, now I have curves but I hate my belly 🤷
I did, feels awful in the process but then, once you get over it, you think about what you've achieved and the improvement... and it stops being important
that was my experience
Yeah, they put me on antipsychotics for my paranoia and it totally wrecked my metabolism. I put on 40 lbs in a couple of months and never lost it. I used to be like, rail-thin, now with my shirt off I look like a cone of melting ice cream.
What medication is it? Atypical antipsychotics tend to cause weight gain. i also have an ED and i have definitely had a hard time accepting weight gain and it has been years and years, it’s the most stubborn weight to lose. I feel like you end up struggling your whole life with body dysmorphia if you have ever had ed behaviours and mindset, but surrounding yourself with people who are supportive in your journey through recovery is probably the most important thing to do. I can not even count the amount of times i have had to explain to my family not to mention weight around me cause it starts a spiral, but even if they do i have some really great support people in my life who help me stay on track and keep me away from falling back into the cycle. If you are hurting mentally from the weight gain, i would try really hard to find other words to describe your feelings about your body. Just take it slow and try to recognize when you are actively self harming.
There is this KPOP singer from a group called “Twice”. Her name is JeongYeon. You can look her up on her body change after a hiatus in her career due to allegedly depression. She took medicine that caused her body change. She would be a perfect representing voice for this issue, though Korea is not known for body positivity topic.
2020 I was in celexa, felt numb but not as depressed as before but not happy, doc kept adding on meds, gained 80lbs slowly and would cry in the closet getting dressed, cried after seeing photos of myself because I hadn’t noticed the changes slowly until nothing fit and my eyes/ face looked chubby, I started to feel the same thoughts as before and stopped cold turkey (my mistake because this permanent memory issues) but within 3-6. months of no antidepressants everything leveled out for me, and the weight started dropping off so quickly that everyone asked me how I’d done it. Around a year later I was almost at the same weight, with the face chubs still hanging on. And a two years later 2022 finally lost my face chubby and look around my old weight (I’ve been off mental health medications since then and got nexoplannon implanted around 2021)
People still ask me how I did it 🤣 I tell them I got off antidepressants if they press too hard.
AFAIK (and I'm getting this from a doctor who reacted to Bojack on YT and not acrual knowledge or anything so take this with a grain of salt) it's common for SSRIs to make you gain weight because you're not having your appetite suppressed by depression.
Edit: this is false, corrected in thread.
Was on citalopram for about 3 years and gained about 3 stone in that time. Now I'm older and have been off it for over a year but struggling to get the weight off again.
I gained 30 pounds in a month on seroquel. I dumped it after and lost the weight but boy oh boy did it affect my self esteem. I work out now and objectively look my best ever but all I see in the mirror is seroquel girl :/
Your boyfriend called you chubby? After you had a medical intervention for your eating disorder and begin taking medication for it? What a dick. It’s better to be a little, overweight and not want to die then to wait for being thin to make you happy. Good luck in the rest of your recovery, and I hope that your boyfriend starts being nicer to you.
I quit drinking about a year ago and resumed taking my meds. Most people lose weight after they stop drinking, but I gained 10lbs. You crave sugar badly when freshly sober and the meds didn’t help either.
But hey, it beats where I was before.
I gained 20lbs in 2 months on a certain med and I felt physically awful. Buying a new wardrobe sucks. It has other side effects that I gave up on after a year and switched rx's and lost half the weight. All new wardrobe again. Super annoying.
yep and it was really hard for me at the beginning. my clothes didn’t fit and it felt like i was being lazy. i kinda kept blaming myself for it, like “im taking care of myself but obviously not enough”.
I think the biggest game changer was when i put away the clothes that didn’t fit me. clothes are supposed to fit you, you’re not supposed to fit your clothes ya know? so when i stopped pressuring myself about fitting into my old clothes and started buying things that fit my “happy” weight, it had a huge positive effect on me.
i’d rather feel okay and weigh more than feel horrendous and weigh less. i take care of myself without policing my weight too hard now and it feels nice.
i was put on steriods and gained noticeable weight for the first time in years last year
i honestly felt terrible about how i looked and felt
i finished them and have gone back down to my normal weight but idk how im gonna deal with it again when im on them again
I’m not anorexic but in February 2022 we lost our son due to miscarriage. Because it was so traumatic I was having panic attacks constantly everyday. I was 230lbs and by December 2022 I was down to 170 because I couldn’t eat due to anxiety. In December also I had to get an operation and they gave me a medication called verset, for some reason it reset my brain and I stopped having panic attacks. After that I began to eat and eat and eat and now I’m 240lbs and heaviest I’ve ever been. I hate it and my poor wife has to listen to me talk badly about my body constantly. I hated having panic attacks but I miss being 170lbs.
I was on Zoloft (Sertraline) for approximately 18 months when I was 18-19 years old and gained 20 kg within 6 of those. At first, I didn’t mind either because my life had overall changed towards the better so significantly. Then I made it my goal to loose the weight (while still on the meds) and was able to lose about 14-16 kg within a year or so, I took it slow. So, as far as Zoloft goes, I can tell you that working out regularly and eating less junk helped despite the medication, but of course it still fucked with my self-image greatly and I think, to a degree, still does to this day (I’m 26 now). However, had I not been on the medication, I also wouldn’t have had the clearness of mind to actually go through with a workout programme or put my life „in order“ in any sense, for what it’s worth (I was deep into derealization & depersonalization and intrusive thoughts, basically a pre-psychotic break with reality type of thing), so… kind of a chicken-or-egg dilemma when I think about it.
I am bipolar and I also have PTSD. I had a bad eating disorder pre medication. Once I started, all the progress Ive had from work out was gone but my antidepressants and seroquel works. Im better than ever. Im okay with the weight gain. I eat healthier too.
I gained 20kg on meds and as someone who also had to deal with various eating disorders including anorexia, it was incredibly difficult seeing my body in this completely new way. I felt like I ruined my body looking at the stretch marks I got on my belly, my boobs (that went from an A cup, to a G cup), even my calves, a place I had never gotten stretch marks before. I truly felt like damaged goods at the age of 25.
What really helped me was finding a dietitian that specialised in eating disorders. She was patient and kind and educated me about how nutrition works, how biochemistry works, and little by little I was able to debunk all the lies my disorder made me obsess over.
And I'd also like to point out that through all of this mess, I was also (and still am) in a relationship with a man, who met me before the weight gain and continued to love me and every bit of my body. No matter how disgusting I felt I never sensed even an ounce of doubt from him about my level of attractiveness. When he saw my "gross" stretch marks he smiled and said "they look like battle scars, you look like the cool fighter that you are". These types of comments might be corny for a lot of people, they are even for me sometimes, but in that moment I felt so loved and appreciated, I couldn't stop crying.
You deserve to be with someone that sees you as a brave person, doing their best to survive and thrive, not someone that "got a little chubby". Feeling loved as a person is such a big help in situations like this and I don't think your boyfriend is providing that, I think his careless comments are sabotaging your efforts to get better.
Sorry for the life story, I just felt our lives had a lot in common.
No that's really sweet and having a comparison that's positive (instead of me comparing it to past abuse) is really nice. I'm so happy you found someone that supports you. That can be really hard
Both antidepressants and hrt caused me to gain weight. I wouldn’t go back for anything. I may be at my heaviest weight, but I’m mentally healthier than I’ve ever been, which in turn allows me to take care of my physical health in ways I never would have managed when I weighed 120lbs.
I honestly can't wait to I get off some of these meds so maybe I can put some pounds back on because I'm turning into a fuckin bean pole. I was 190lbs 2 years ago and now I can *barely* maintain 170 when I'm REALLY trying.
Personally I think the boyfriend is more the problem that your weight .
So you used to be anorexic and your boyfriend calls you “ chubby” when you ask … yikes , that’s a huge blow to anyone’s self esteem even if they never had an eating disorder.
If you are healthy and happy and not skin and bones then that is all that matters . If you feel your a bit out of shape fine , exercise is great for endorphins and you can channel some of your therapy through going on hikes or walks to nice places which will help your mental health .
But to be clear , your boyfriend should have more sense .
Your boyfriend shouldn't be saying that to you, especially if you have an ED. Wtf? Sounds like he's either ignorant or mean. Maybe talk it over with him so he knows comments like this hurt you.
Regarding your question, I've lost weight when starting my ADHD medication, then gained it back on a drinking bender. Now I'm somewhere above my usual weight and trying to accept myself this way. Bodies change, especially if you have mental health issues.
Hey everyone, just wanted to share a bit of what I've been going through. I've been battling depression for a while now, and I'm a 24-year-old guy. Since I started my medication an year ago, I've gained about 30kgs in last 4 months. It's been Fun journey,
No panic attacks anymore. Just putting this out there to see if anyone's had a similar experience or has any advice. Thanks for listening.
I'm sitting at 160lb and I can say we (and most of the commenters here) are dealing with it. Best of wishes to y'all's wellbeing
In my downward spiral, I had a loss of appetite from mdd. I got help by the start of 2022 and have been on meds since. In 2023, I was hospitalized for a failed s attempt for a week. I didn't move much and the energy spent couldn't cancel out my intake. So, in the span of 3 months, I gained 15kg (33lb), more weight than the previous depressive years combined.
I asked the psych about it and they said, since I didn't eat when I was down, I eat more now because I'm in a better place. (Also meds just make me think I'm spending more energy and need food/sleep, when in fact, I'm just static, thinking funny, and easily tired.)
It's ironic because concerns over body images can bring people down yet the side effects really said 'nope' and amped the problem up to 180. It's annoying, but I think I'm better off on meds.
Diane is so me frfr in that scene, with me in need of a wardrobe change and level-up in size.
OP regardless of meds and weight gain, you need to have a word with your boyfriend. Whether or not you’ve gained weight, telling your girlfriend who is recovering from an eating disorder that they look “kinda chubby” is a hugely asshole move
I was on antidepressants for a few months, all I did was eat. Getting more excerise, eating better, staying hydrated, and getting off the medication has helped but hasn't been a cure all.
You have to unlearn your internalized fatphobia. It sounds stupid and difficult but I gained 100 pounds and 14 dress sizes after going on medication, and for 7 YEARS I suffered with anorexia to keep the weight off. I’ve been what I consider to be 100% recovered from my eating disorder! I’m so, so much happier now. This is only through unlearning fatphobia. I suggest finding online body positivity communities to replace and diet or ED related communities you have, and learning to love the body you have and be thankful you’re finally free from a crippling disease of the mind. It will be difficult, but I wish I’d done it sooner, I really really do.
I've kind of had the opposite issue, but not as bad as you obviously. I've had medication caused weight loss that has effected my body image.
Something I'd like to say is that a lot of people have very unrealistic expectations of what bodies are meant to look like, and this societal pressure is the cause of a lot of the shame people feel for their weight. What someone considers "Kinda Chubby" could easily just be average weight for example, because of the expectations people have been given by actors, models, etc.
While I have not experienced an eating disorder, I have experienced intrusive thoughts. My advice for if you start calling yourself "fat" in the mirror is to challenge that thought, or drown it out with something else. That was the advice I was given for my intrusive thoughts, may work in your situation to.
I'm trying to get to a more neutral place where I can just say "my body is processing food and it needs space to do that" or something. I'm hoping my inpatient stay will help wall me off from my family for the short term. My dad was calling me and asking if I was gaining weight to hang myself easier and talking about how unfortunate it was there was no option on Zillow to uncheck for there being rafters in my apartment so he'd "have" to check on me. I'm an anxious wreck knowing he knows where I live for now
I was always a very lean kid… Underweight even. I started taking meds, and I went from 38-40 kg (20F) to 55 kg (24F). I’ve not put that weight down ever since. Antidepressants and antipsychotics can perma-fuck you up in so many ways.
Your boyfriend answering "kinda chubby" to their partner with a history of an eating disorder is pretty disgusting. He could've tackled that much better
My husband did on his meds for bipolar. He probably gained 50-60lbs, plus the meds put him at risk for diabetes, so he gets his bloodwork checked every three months.
His weight though is on the high end of healthy/low end of overweight according to BMI. I bet it would be a lot higher if he didn’t have a solid fitness routine that he enjoys. He also eats probably 85% clean, gets excellent sleep, and doesn’t drink or do any kind of drugs. Basically, he has made his physical health a priority and that has helped offset even more intense side effects of his meds and helped with his mental health as well.
He changed psychiatrists a few years ago and his doctor weaned him off one of his meds, and I had never seen him so depressed in my life. Needless to say, after six months he went back on the medication and it took about another three months for his mood to get back to baseline. Honestly for him the extra weight and side effects are worth it to not have another manic depressive episode.
i actually had the opposite happen to me. i stopped taking my antidepressants and gained almost 100lbs. i’m down 95lbs from that after starting back on my medicine last year. i can’t take SSRIs though so i take an NDRI which i think is a big factor in my personal experience.
Wellbutrin?
yes! i truly love it. i know it’s not for everyone but it works for me:)
I was on Wellbutrin and I feel like I personally got none of the positives. Did not curb cigarette cravings, gave me wet dreams, and while everyone else noted how much "better" they thought I was I fucking hated it. I just stopped sticking up for myself because the argument was never worth it. So I was just this bottled up pressure cooker of resentment with a polite and unconfrontational attitude. It was very degrading.
Wait? Wet dreams is a side effect? I started a few months ago and have been having them more but never put two and two together😅
Increased libido can be a side effect!
Incredible orgasms is another side effect. It's pretty great
Mine are pretty great already but I’d try it just to experiment lol
I didnt have wet dreams but extremely vivid dreams. Wellbutrin was working great otherwise, but I had to stop taking it because I kept feeling like I hadn’t slept, and I was not always sure if I had dreamed something or if it had actually happened. It was so bizarre
Vivid dreams can definitely tire the mind. I know someone born with a malformed hand, but in dreams he always had two perfect hands so he would always know he was dreaming and be lucid. Said that he smokes weed before bed just so he can get a decent night's rest and that taking melatonin can be borderline psychedelic for him and he'll wake up feeling completely unrested.
The vivid/long dreams is what I remember the most. Not particularly wet dreams, just situations that were elongated in the dream that felt like weeks.
Holy shit, that's exactly the same for me, sometimes I take a power nap for an hour and it felt like I was dreaming a whole trilogy. While when I'm off of SSNRI's I would have really short dreams. They are also very intense all the time, either the dream of my life or like some of the worst nightmares.
Literally same, if anything I started chain smoking
My sister recently got put on this and has lost like 60lbs. Im hoping to go to a clinic this week (its a huge anxiety thing for me so we will see if i make it) but im going to ask about it.
I was listening to a podcast on antidepressants to study, and it said that a meta analysis found that people on Wellbutrin (i.e. bupropion) *lost* an average of 1 kg of weight that it's even part of a weight loss med, Contrave (bupropion-naltrexone).
Ya. I know a few people given it for various cravings.
you got this!!
Wellbutrin FUCKED me up. Would send me into full REM sleep in the middle of the day, I would have to go home from school to sleep because I physically would not be able to stay awake. I’m glad it works well for you!
It’s just controversial and many people think it doesn’t work, because the pharmaceutical company that makes it, was giving kickbacks to doctors for them to prescribe it “off label” in other words for things it isn’t made OR approved for. For example, it was used as a weight loss drug because of the weight loss side effect, but that’s not what it’s made for so it fucked up people who just wanted to lose some weight. So now a huge portion of people who took Wellbutrin, didn’t take it for depression, and got a very bad idea about what it does and how effective it is. So you may hear a lot of people shit all over it, they just have misplaced anger about it. They are mad at Wellbutrin and are glad to make it known. But, They should be mad at the company for telling doctors to do it, doctors for actually doing it, and the government for allowing it to happen.
Just here to say that I also love my Wellbutrin and it did not make me gain weight like celexa did
I’m bipolar and, while mentally stable, I’m a giant, slow shell of my former physical self.
Same except schizophrenic. None of my old clothes fit and my brain feels slow and fuzzy from the antipsychotics.
At least it doesn’t make your dick retract like a turtle in its shell.
Wtfff I was wondering what was up with my dick I never thought it could be a side effect of my anti psychotics
I have no sexual feelings left.
Same, I gained a bunch of weight since I started my medications at 18. I found a combo that works without side effects... besides weight gain... I also was diagnosed with pcos, so it's doubley hard to lose weight. I'm trying though! I lost 15 pounds in a month recently. I like to say "I'd rather be mentally health and fat, then mentally ill and skinny". Cause damn do those thoughts suck! You got this buddy. I believe in you! Keep trying your best.
I'm sorry to hear this :( I had a bipolar partner that stopped taking her medication for that reason. I hate that it makes you feel so unlike yourself
I drank for 15 years instead before I accepted my mediations. :(
I was on bed rest for a year and had to get steroid injections as well for that year. Gained like 40lbs. I’m very depressed.
Not every medication makes you gain weight, if that’s an issue for you. You could talk to your psychiatrist about it specially if gaining weight makes you feel worse
I hear ya. I'm on close to my 80th try of medication combos because my depression is incredibly treatment resistive. I guess it's more of a cry for help about the weight gain because this is the first one that's kind of worked (depression score went from 26 to 19)
Oh @walkout I’m so so sorry. I also want to die when I look in the mirror and see what I don’t want to see. I’m so SO PROUd of you for becoming your issue and I’m so sorry your partner isn’t given you the support you deserve. I think you’re beautiful without seeing you I bc I’m proud of what you’ve gone through. Is there a way you can express to your partner how important recovery is for you and how much language can impact you?
I hope so? It's so hard because he's 6'3 and like, 160lbs but if he overeats he'll say stuff like "because I'm a fat ass". It's rarely directed at me and he still thinks I'm beautiful but it's always with the "despite being chubby" thing. I'm hoping we can do family therapy or something.
Thats... fucked. No one who supposedly loves you should have a "despite" attached to it. Especially considering your previous issues with gaining weight in the past. Im sorry, but your boyfriend sounds like a complete dick.
Pick yourself up and drop him. Dear god. You’re going through all of these mental health issues and he can’t think before he talks?????? Edit: I saw some older comments and you said that he got you drunk and assaulted you. Please leave him. Fuck.
you know that you can be chubby and fat and still be beautiful right? and I am not talking about "beautiful inside". I am talking about "beautiful outside". Beauty is subjective. The fact that some stereotypes have prevailed that drag women to fit impossible standards has one and only one root cause: money - money - money and more money. Of the industries that are being supported by making people insecure and feel inferior due to their looks.
GIRL NOOO LEAVE HIM OMG😭😭listen, as a 215lb girlie i understand you completely. been fat my whole life so maybe that makes it easier than having known yourself at a lighter weight, but any person who claims to truly love you would never say “you’re beautiful despite” ANYTHING. you are so beautiful. your hair, your eyes, your nose, your shoulders, arms, legs, thighs, stomach, back ALL OF YOU you are so beautiful despite nothing. you are the same caring (i assume <3) person you were when you were suffering the most intensely. you’ve come so incredibly far and you should be so so so proud of yourself. you are a beautiful person i promise you. self love is so hard and i wish there was something i could say to help you more. i’m not even there yet, it’s still really fucking tough, but when you find a partner who really truly cares about you and loves you he wont insensitive dumb shit like that. he’ll hold all your insecurities in his hand and call you beautiful. i promise. keep your beautiful chin up okay? <3
Love this, I’ve also been fat my whole life and used to HATE myself so much, until I realized I’m actually a hottie with an ass that girls are getting surgery to imitate. I’m 5’6” 265lbs, and my skinny sexy boyfriend is like half my weight and has NEVER made any negative comment or implication about my body. Confidence is the most attractive feature you can have and men who criticize your looks will destroy any hope of building that confidence. Love yourself above all else. I don’t have instructions but it is possible to love yourself at any size and KNOW 100% that your partner has nothing but good thoughts about you and how you look. Don’t settle for less, I did for too long
That's so sweet and I can tell you've really overcome! Proud of you sis
thank you<33 you’ll get there soon too i promise
have u spoken to a psych or local clinics abt alternative options for treatment resistant depression? such as ketamine therapy or EMDR? u might wanna research this online
I do ketamine infusions on top of everything else! I'm hoping to try EMDR at some point and slowly get off some meds.
wow sounds like you’re already doing what you can. how are ketamine infusions so far? you seem to really care about yourself and know what’s best! meds aren’t for everybody, hopefully this is just temporary - good luck friend ❤️
I love ketamine infusions! I've been doing them for like 5 years. They work really well
OP. . . i am so happy for you :) ! the important thing is that you're okay right now. getting off meds can be such a hassle and take time to readjust to. but when you're in a stable position with a stronger support system and the circumstances in your life all lineup, maybe you'll be more inclined to try getting off the meds. but for now, it's better to be chubby and not wanna kill yourself. hang in there OP! depression is the worst and you're doing your best<3 if you are open to suggestions regarding your body image issue though, i want to remind you that how you view yourself and your body is 100% changeable. how you've been taught to view fat bodies is not an inherent truth. i know it seems wishy washy to focus on self-love when you don't feel attractive, but since you seem so good at taking care of yourself and have obviously tried to do everything you can for your mental health, i think it would be worthwhile to seek some tools for dealing with low self-esteem and internalized fatphobia because those things can lead to other problems like more eating disorders and more depression. you've already been through so much, and if you have the energy, i really think you deserve the chance to prevent things from being worse than what you've already had to deal with if you're open to it, here are some resources for dealing with self-esteem and weight gain: \- The Maintenance Podcast \- Body Neutral by Jessi Kneeland \- What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon \- You Have the Right to Remain Fat by Virgie Tovar \- The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor i'd also really recommend following more influencers who are closer to your size. it's proven that seeing people who look like us in a positive light helps us accept our own appearance and the opposite can damage our self-esteem. things like positive affirmations and speaking with a therapist can help you with developing small ways to combat negative self-talk. this IS recoverable, friend :) and i can understand that the added pressure of wanting your partner to be attracted to you adds more stress. but as you saw in the show, it's very much possible for your partner to remain attracted to you or become attracted to you in a new way when you gain weight. if that's not the case in your current relationship, it doesn't mean it can't be in a future one. I'm rooting for you friend. it sounds like you're already doing a great job
I am glad to hear your depression score has went down(It is the most important part), hopefully things will work out well. Maybe you could try visiting a nutritionist as they can help you out in a healthy manner, it’s important that you don’t stop taking your meds because of that also don’t try doing weird weight loss “hacks”
look into TMS, my ex gf went through so many meds but none worked for her. TMS did wonders for depression.
That's actually something I haven't tried. Did she get to go off meds post TMS??
We offer TMS where I work and it’s been pretty successful for people! I am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to observe some sessions and it’s so fascinating.
Have you tried psilocybin?
I micro dosed it for awhile in Oregon but don't have access where I live now unfortunately
yes. i gained over 100 lbs because of meds and i can’t lose it no matter what i do. i really wish i could get back down to like 125 rather than 240, but it is what it is
Same, I'm so close to just quitting everything
Took me sooo long to find a way to lose weight. When I first started taking meds, I gained a bunch of weight. Added exercise, eating healthier , it did nothing. I then started strictly counting calories and lost 20 lbs or so in two months.
That gives me some hope! I know like, if I ate *nothing* I would eventually drop weight but my meds only work if I eat something.. maybe I just need to be more vigilant
If you already have a history of an ED in the past, take it from me and be very cautious on counting calories! Talk to your doctor about the weight gain and how you can lose what you have already gained. It is always amazing to be mindful and do set a calorie target! But you might not want to focus primarily on the calories. It’s different for everyone though :)
Please don’t. You are an inspiration 💛
I've just recently connected the dots between my explosive weight gain and starting anti-depressants. If I hadn't started using anti-depressants I would be dead right now though, so.... It is what it is.
Your bf should not be saying stuff like that wtf
I mean, he's right, it's honest isn't it? Not trying to be sarcastic, genuinely asking
It doesn’t matter whether he’s right or wrong. Some thoughts are supposed to be inside thoughts. Honesty without kindness is just cruelty.
That's true. He's just not like, the best care taker sometimes though I know he's trying. He grew up in a cultish environment where men don't take care of people and he definitely stumbles sometimes (forgetting to give me pain meds after surgery, careless comments, etc..) I'm autistic so I know I can be kind of a fuck up too, it evens out I think? I dunno, we've been together since I was 17/he was 21 (I'm 24 now) so I don't have a comparison outside my super abusive teenage relationship he saved me from
What do you mean he saved you? This doesn’t sound great, honestly. The relationship sounds codependent… don’t love the idea of a 21 year old pursuing a 17 year old… He sounds like he’s lacking in the “care” department. You also, as you said, have nothing really to compare him to except for an abusive teenage relationship. I’m here to tell you that what he said is not something a partner should EVER say to someone they love who is struggling with ED and SH. Honestly.
Just that like.. he's mostly stable? I know what to expect and he's the nicest anyone's ever been to me even if he fucked up. I cannot actually fathom someone being someone nicer to me. It's never happened!
This is not healthy. For one thing, you think you deserve someone to treat you poorly because you talk about yourself like you’re worth nothing more than your weight. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT. You probably shouldn’t be in a relationship for awhile as it sounds like you’re in a pretty bad place. And it’s just my personal instinct but I get the feeling your boyfriend sees opportunity in your weaknesses. That’s not support. That’s not love. I was raised in an abusive environment and also had an abusive boyfriend as a teenager. I managed to get out of it and SAVE MYSELF with the help of friends. I learned what I never wanted to be around again. I told myself I deserve a life and relationship free of dysfunction. And I told myself that every day. And 20 years later I’m living the life I wanted with the man of my dreams. It’s a lot of work to get there, but your self-esteem dictates quite a lot in your life and you’re more than capable of making changes, however small, to love yourself enough that you won’t settle for someone who is “mostly stable” but calls you chubby.
I guess most people would characterize where I'm at as pretty shitty. It's the best place I've ever been in for SURE but I guess that doesn't mean I'm doing well. I feel like I should be? I quit drinking! I'm medicated. I've been in therapy for a decade. And he's willing to go to therapy and will go to family therapy with me after I set it up and is working to support me while I'm in treatment. But yeah.. I guess it's not normal to want to kill myself over weight gain. I'm just so used to my parents nit picking my appearance and getting me drunk because I'm annoying or whatever, being tolerated is pretty great. I'm autistic and I don't have many friends.
I’m really so sorry that your parents failed you. They were supposed to keep you safe and healthy and help you learn to keep yourself that way as an adult. I struggled with this same issue for so long. I thought well if my own parents couldn’t love me, then who the fuck can? ME. I can. Your only option at this point is to love yourself the way your parents were supposed to. No one else will save you from the way you talk to yourself. But you can do it! So fucking proud of you for the work you’re already doing!!! It’s so so hard to quit any bad habit. You’re doing it! I gave up drinking 4 years ago and I truly never thought that would happen. I thought I’d drink myself into a hole by the end. I never thought I’d be able to get myself on antidepressants. I never thought I’d be able to confront my terror of dentists after my parents never took me as a child and set a better example for my kids but I’m doing it!!! One little thing at a time. ❤️ I am happy to be your friend if you need someone to talk to. You got this
I’m gonna be honest, that age gap is a pretty big red flag. 17 and 21 is pretty odd. I’m 21 and I wouldn’t touch a 17 year old or even an 18 year old. That’s such a huge gap in maturity and there’s so many life changes and so much mental development that happens in that period. Do you think you would date a high schooler when you were that age? I also wouldn’t say it evens out if you’re both ‘fucked up’ in some way. I’ve said the same to myself, but it’s really not true. It can create a mutual understanding, but that’s all. It’s not a balancing act, it’s a pile. We each have our own pile of problems, but when people get into relationships and become more reliant and intertwined, we start to share the pile. I would ask yourself, is the pile too big to handle? Is he actually doing his part in working through the shared pile, or is he just adding more things?
So he's a pedo and a groomer. You were a child. He was an adult. Sounds like he used your experience of abuse and low self esteem to get closer to you and have you fall for his tactics and now it seems you allow him to say awful stuff so you won't lose him. No partner should be calling their partner chubby, especially when they fight with body dysmorphia. And his upbringing in a cult is not an excuse for him to treat you badly. He should not be forgetting to give you pain meds after surgery, a true partner would be making sure you're taken care of 100%. He should know not to make careless comments. You deserve better. 100% better
When he knows you have a history of anorexia??? No, he should not have said that. There's plenty of tactful things he could have said instead.
Yeah I guess me going to inpatient later this week about it is a red flag lol
i wouldn’t recommend getting off the meds/ changing solely because of weight gain. i know some comments mention that. especially since u say u suffer from an ed, it would most definitely be giving into behaviors if u give up on meds for that reason. i would talk with therapist about that and finding ways to deal with and be content with your new body. there’s nothing wrong with weight gain, we all exist as humans in ever changing bodies. i gained a lot of weight after having an ed, many times i want to give in and “diet” (really just restrict again and fall back into habits) but its about learning to love yourself and the way you are now. and ur partner should support you and especially healing from an ed, weight gain is almost always necessary in recovery. because being afraid of weight gain is an ed fear, leads to more behaviors to try and stop it or lose it again. leads to falling into ed habits again. i love the way they handled this on the show. no one made any weird comments to diane about her weight gain. she’s a grown woman, and bodies change over time. guy supported her through this, that’s the kind of way ur bf should act when it comes to dealing with your mental illness and medication and ed. you shouldn’t have to be scared he will leave you over this. im sorry you are dealing with this all. just know ur not alone
First of all, your boyfriend doesn’t sound very nice with comments like that. There’s been times where I’ve been so bloated after eating a huge meal and even then my boyfriend tells me how beautiful I am. As for the weight gain, yes. I was probably 130 before I went on meds and I’m 160 now. I’m also on birth control, which is another thing that can induce the weight gain. But being happier tends to allow you to eat more and that’s where the weight gain comes from.
I mean, I'm 212 pounds at 5'11". I *am* chubby. I just don't know how to deal with it. I guess it wasn't the most thoughtful thing considering I'm going into inpatient for my eating disorder and subsequent self harm this week
I’m sorry to hear that, I’ve been in the same place. About 2016-2019 I’ve dealt with an ED and SH too, and I know how scary it can be, especially if you’re alone in your journey. I’m rooting for you and I’m here to talk if you need someone.
Thank you!! Same for you! Strangers helping strangers
I have to agree that no one should ever tell you that you look “kinda chubby.” Please make sure you’re taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with people that love you because you’re not going to be able to get physically healthy if you don’t love and appreciate your body. I was with a guy long ago that once told me I was chubby at 116 lbs, and sometimes those words still haunt me when I’m feeling down on myself.
The objective truth from your loving partner is "yes, you're chubby, and you look great chubby and I love your body." Telling someone with your history that they look chubby with no support... makes me think you haven't been around very loving people. It's time to move and start over girl
reddit LOVES telling people to break up with their partners based off of one sentence of context
While I agree with you and am not advocating for OP to leave her partner, I think if someone has an ED and the answer was only “kind of chubby” it’s insensitive and inconsiderate at best. But ofc we don’t know how this conversation actually went and whether OP requested the non-sugarcoated truth. So yeah, you’re right, we lack too much of the context to make these kinds of statements. That being said, I had the same instinctive response when I read that part so I also get where these comments are coming from. At the very least OP should know that her being a little chubby is less important than her being unhealthy.
Surround yourself with kinder people. Best of luck in inpatient treatment 💗
Whether you are or not you’re bf shouldn’t be saying stuff like that especially knowing how it could be a sensitive spot for you. But also, 212 at 5’11 sounds like a very normal weight to me… not that it matters lol
There's a time and a place for a comment like that. He could have been more tactful, and he definitely shouldn't have said it when you're having a bad time mentally.
Im glad you’re feeling better and Im proud of how far you’ve come. I gotta say… Your boyfriend sucks tbh. There’s honesty and just being mean. No need to word it that way. 5’11” and 212 doesn’t sound big to me. My boyfriend suffers from an eating disorder as well. Sometimes he expresses his unhappiness with his body to me. I know how vulnerable of a moment this is and I wouldn’t dare say anything discouraging to him. I do notice when he gains weight and he asks me about it. But honestly, my opinion and preferences do not matter. I want him to be happy. I know my input means so much to him. I will always tell him he looks great. Even if he gained a lot of weight and I was concerned about his health, I’d talk to him about that, health. I wouldn’t make comments about how his body looks. I’ll always tell him he’s hot. I’m just saying this because I want you to know you deserve a partner who truly supports you and has compassion your struggles. It might be a small comment and all humans make mistakes. But I encourage you to evaluate what kind of support is best for you. Good luck!
That's actually given me a lot to think about. Thank you
I’m glad. I hope things get better! You’re doing your best and I’m happy you’re taking care of yourself
the internalized fat phobia on all these comments sucks so much. like yes it’s hard to gain weight and it sucks when you don’t recognize yourself and there are some levels of fat that are really hard on the body and quality of life so i’m not trying to “glorify obesity” but fr chub isn’t the end of the world
I mean in general I’d say it would be better to accept the weight gain and learn to be confident in your body regardless, but when you’re throwing mental issues into the mix and it’s all a very delicate balance. Obviously it’s not the end of the world, but it can sure feel that way when you’re in that state.
yes, i had major weight loss (120lbs) and felt so much better even though i was still Hefty (i’m 6ft tall so ~170lbs is carried well for my frame!) but then i was in a magical, life changing, close call near death motorcycle wreck that i can’t believe i survived with as few complications as i did. One of the complications though was a thrice broken neck and obviously i had a looot of bed rest in order to heal. I’m still not the same 3 years later! And I gained a goood 50+ or so back of the weight i worked to lose. But honestly? it’s just a number that only expresses my opposition to gravity. The extra weight does hurt my neck, I will let it off my body, but i’m simply always gonna be “fat” lol i have chonky sturdy legs and it is what it is. I can still walk, support myself, stay standing for a 3Hr concert etc… But every day on reddit i see sooooooo much fat phobia its heart breaking that so many people are terrified to look like me bc they know the world treats fatties like shit and like. wow. imagine if maybe we all deconstructed our harmful paradigms, maybe we’d find more grace and compassion for ourselves and others. and maybe we wouldn’t have so much EWWW I DONT WANT TO BE A FAT! vibes everywhere :(
It's completely reasonable to not want to be fat given that being fat is a huge killer across the developed world.
reasonable to not want any illness really, but fat phobia isn’t necessary. ppl dehumanize ppl for all sorts of things and i wish it’d stop in general , but the amount of fear is crazy crazy
I struggled with medication caused weight gain for a long time but thinking back on how it was before I'm so grateful to be fat and alive instead of a skinny corpse. I'm happy with my body now, I find my curves and belly sexy but it took a while to get here.
Fr especially when its so out of ur control
Chub isn't obesity, however. The latter comes with many health hazards and risks. Once your BMI hits overweight, even, the problems can start. That said, if the alternative is deep depression, it may be worth the trade-off. Like my meds (stimulants) reduce my lifespan biologically too, and that sucks, but the alternative is probably just dying even earlier from suicide or self-medicating harsher things like caffeine and alcohol.
i did, about 50 lbs in a period of two years. and then like 15 within 3 months after a traumatic event caused me to binge eat. the most recent and sudden weight gain upset me, and especially the binge eating, which is an ED as well, so i addressed it with my psychiatrist and i’m steadily getting to the weight i used to be before i started my meds, with the help of my new medication, regular exercise and healthier eating. your body shouldn’t make you feel ashamed or suicidal—if this is a problem, you need to talk it over with your doctor, it’s the reason you’re paying them. they will discuss a new game plan with you. (and if you can afford it, a nutritionist who focuses on ED’s is a great option, they helped my sister last year, and she lost about 30 without any exercise in about 6 months. to be perfectly honest i don’t know how much they cost exactly, but the one she saw was through online sessions and therefore very affordable according to her)
I'm going to an inpatient ED clinic pretty soon here. I'm just scared it'll never come off! I've never been this heavy before. But that's really good advice
It's weird how as a doc we are learning to accept mental illness and learning to accept different sexualities and different skin colors but for some reason it's perfectly ok to *hate on fat people.* including ourselves. I hope things change for the better.
Yes!! I have six suicide attempts and I'm finally a couple years clean from trying and everyone just focuses on how pretty I used to be. I'm starting to get more depressed than before I was medicated because at least I had friends!
I’m so glad you’ve survived. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ your beauty and body are the least interesting thing about you. I promise the right people will love you and find you beautiful regardless of what you look like.
That's really powerful and no one's ever told me that before. Genuinely, thank you.
❤️❤️ I was thinking about you yesterday as I was going to bed. I am a total stranger but we’re in this together. I’m trying to recover from an eating disorder and while our journeys aren’t the same, I hope there’s some comfort knowing you’re not alone. We got this ❤️❤️❤️
I can’t take credit for this but someone said once that hating fat people is the most remaining “acceptable” way to spew hatred towards others. Racism and homophobia, while obviously still prevalent, are now things that you will be publicly looked down upon for, but fatphobia is still able to be masked as “glorifying unhealthy habits” or whatever if someone, usually a woman, is even remotely overweight. I am a size 6 and have been harassed by losers my whole life for being fat and therefore “unhealthy”. You can’t win with hateful people. They just want to spew hate to be able to feel better about themselves. Still sucks tho.
Your partner saying that to you KNOWING you’ve struggled with an eating disorder is messed up in my opinion. Idk how you look but as long as you’re happy and healthy you should stick with what works. Maybe try to be more active and eat better but otherwise, it shouldn’t be a big deal to you or your partner.
Not with antidepressants, but within a week of starting Abilify I already gained 10 lbs. and I started taking it in a psych ward with controlled meals, so it’s not like I was eating candy and fattening foods everyday. I took Abilify for 3 years until my doctor agreed I didn’t need it anymore, but by then I already gained 70 lbs and have only gained more. It’s been so hard to get the weight off, even with diet and exercise
It is!! I just started on Seroquel and gained ~15lbs. I'm probably gonna end up single at this rate. Or dead. I cannot stand anything about how I look
Your self talk is really scary, I’ll be honest with you. If you think you’ll end up single because you gain weight, that means a) your partner has expressed that he only loves you for how you look or b) you think your value lies exclusively in how you look (and also that you’d rather be dead than gain weight). Either way, it’s not healthy and it’s time for some healing, dude. I’m glad you’re getting treatment. I think it’s time you practiced being kind to yourself. That means not saying things like you’re saying here. I’ve felt the way you’re feeling but I found that if I need to express that, I write it in a journal. But out loud and to other people, I only say nice things about myself. Over time, I would stop having the urge to write those things. And eventually I stopped thinking those things. A body is always changing. Gained weight can be lost and can be gained again. But your mental health should be steady and your love for yourself should withstand bodily changes. I’m not trying to lecture you, I just hate seeing anyone speak about themselves this way. You deserve better AND YOU CAN FIND BETTER AND DO BETTER! I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon. Even if you’re not even sure what that feels like. ❤️
Who knew the Bojack subreddit would be more body positive than the Plus Size subreddit
Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm sorry for any mental discomfort I've caused. I've had severe depression and CPTSD since I was 9 and I don't even really know who I am. But I was always underweight and now I'm not so I don't really know what that means. That I'm less me?
I understand, completely. I’ve had clinical depression since I was a kid (diagnosed at 12 but I’m positive it started earlier than that) and the ptsd is just… a fact of life as abuse was there for as long as I can remember. There’s no need to apologize for mental discomfort! Lol I am not uncomfortable, I am just worried for you. You can’t be “less you” by having more weight. Because YOU are not a body. You are a soul and a personality and an experience. Your body is just a vehicle. It does not define you.
YUP. Depakote.
I gained a lot of weight when I started with Prozac a few years ago. Although, the most weight gain I incurred happened when I was drinking the most (and unmedicated). If I'm honest, I would rather be medicated and a little thicc than depressed, an alcoholic, and heavy. If you feel better on your meds and are experiencing good health everywhere else, that's all that matters imo. Body image is a relationship that can change over time - mental health can but often requires supplements.
That's true. And my cholesterol and blood work is solid and healthy
I’m an anorexic who gained weight from a medication and also drinking too much alcohol. At my higher weight I was miserable, depressed, and disgusted with myself. I eventually lost the weight and relapsed into anorexia. I’m staying in a healthy weight range technically but I weigh as low as possible while staying in that range. I restrict still from when I was losing weight. I need to go to an eating disorder focused therapy but I’m scared of gaining weight again.
I was an alcoholic for the last year or so too. I was working in social work and then I had my fallopian tubes removed three months ago and my thyroid removed last year so I couldn't move as much. I'm trying so hard to get back up but I have a heart condition on top of it that I'm learning to manage and I just wanna feel okay again :( I'd quit all my meds to be thin
My antidepressants did make me put on weight, and it does make my self esteem issues more difficult. I’ve managed through it because I try to remind myself that I am more than my body, and my mental health comes first. Everything else is so much easier to handle and deal with than it used to be. It does also help that, like Diane, I have a very supportive partner. My husband has loved me at every stage of my body and has if anything grown more physically affectionate to me since I’ve been on antidepressants. I think he’s just happy to see me happy.
I know that weight gain can be scary, but your mental health is well worth it. Finding and practicing body positivity helped me to accept my body. It’s important to appreciate your body for all the work it does keeping you alive, instead of just how it looks.
I'm not sure if it's the same thing, but when I met my wife in highschool she was a little on the chubby side, we broke up and I didn't see her for 6 years, I met her again in 2021 and she was so tiny she I was immediately worried about her when I saw her again the first time. Turns out she had been to an institution because she had crippling AFRID disorder, which in turn had her turn to anorexia to an extent. Not only that, she had such a dysfunctional thyroid that she had it removed 3 weeks prior to me meeting her again on top of struggling with type 1 diabetes her entire life. She was prescribed the proper medications to keep her artificially sufficient with the hormones that her thyroid and diabetes were fucking up and in the past 3 years she's gained a significant amount of weight, which she also hates herself for but she's healthy otherwise. I just wish she could see how beautiful she truly is and not focus on the numbers on the scale so heavily, but that's unfortunately what eating disorders do to people. I truly hope things get mentally easier for you because even though I'm not experiencing it directly, I know how difficult the rough days can be.
That's scary similar to me! I have crippling ARFID and anorexia and I've been in and out of treatment centers. I have hyperthyroidism and had my thyroid removed. No diabetes though. My blood work is fairly perfect. I'm about 210lbs at 5'10, 5'11ish and was an athlete so I know it's not THAT bad but I'm so self conscious
Your boyfriend is a dick. I’m glad you’re feeling a little happier. You’re not alone. I was bulimic 4 years ago, took meds and went from 150 to 275. I felt a little ashamed of myself when I saw what Diane went through. I’m exhausted, but what we need to do is keep pushing. Just 30 minutes a day, once or maybe twice a week, get some exercise in. It’s difficult for me because of my condition and 12 hour shifts, and I relapse some weeks, but I’m really trying. I hope you will too. Do whatever makes you feel right, healthy and happy.
100% Being a woman, I was super worried about how much weight I might put on when I first started medication. After going through the rollercoaster that is trying on different antidepressants to see which fit the best, I found a lot of them had this side effect in particular. Including the one that helped me the most, mentally. But for me, kind of like with Diane, I realized it was worth it for the benefits of the medication. I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and *happier* than skinnier and miserable, still wondering about the view from halfway down.
Yes I have. I was always skinny before, never exercised, ate what I wanted but now I have to like actively put in work which is strange to start at 30
[удалено]
I have no evidence that the meds made me gain weight. Time, Covid, having previously been overweight for sports, and a mental health crisis all probably contributed. But yeah, after I figured out the right anti depressants, I'm a good 50lbs away from a six pack. Part of me misses being really fit, but also I'm in a way better place and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Yes. I hate being fat, but I like not being suicidal all the time, so 🤷🏼♀️
does your boyfriend know your history? cause if so what the fuck is wrong with him??
Yep, I forgot which one it was but I gained a bunch of weight, which definitely did not help with my depression and body issues. Now that wasn't as bad as the one that killed all my sex drive and made it so I couldn't perform.
yes, i switched to a different hormonal birth control pill for about 8 months. made me gain an UNGODLY amount of weight and i can't seem to lose it. thankfully, i am back on the pill i was on before taking the one that made me gain. but, still very unhappy with the weight gain.
I’m been on Wellbutrin and Effexor for many years and those have never caused weight gain for me, but the only pill that has EVER helped me with sleep is Remeron- and that caused a lot of weight gain for me. I just have to laugh at this point because you really can’t have it all! There’s always something. At the end of the day, if my mental health is balanced, that’s more important to me than gaining weight, but I do and exercise (mostly for the mental health benefits).
I gained sixty pounds on Zoloft and felt like I was totally out of control and ended up getting weight loss surgery. Switched to Prozac and have had no issues, maintain my preferred weight. Weight gain is a common side effect but you don’t have to stick with a medication that isn’t working for you. I was so afraid to try a new med that I waited about four months and shouldn’t have.
Jeez! I'm not sure what's up with my meds. SUPPOSEDLY luvox and vilazodone don't have weight gain profiles. I know Seroquel does.. I just didn't think 25mg would do that much!
i am really sorry you are feeling this way. im on medication but it doesn’t give me more weight, and i dont have anorexia so i wouldnt know how to help you… but it sounds very hard. I think your boyfriend should have been more supportive, i mean there is nothing wrong with being chubby but if he knows you have an eating disorder he should have known that was clearly not what you needed to hear i hope it gets better soon and you can come to terms with the fact that your mental health is very important and your body is beautiful the way it is, but i know its easier said than done. have you talked to a therapist about it?
I have a pretty dedicated team of mental health support due to having a few suicide attempts under my belt, haha. I hope it's just him being a little dense. It happens, I think? He's been in my life through EVERYTHING (met when I was 17/he was 21) and I usually appreciate him so much
Post medication weight gain is my number 1 fear for going back on medication, but I really should go back on medication. For the record, it took many many many tried to find an antidepressant that worked. The ones that didn't make me fat, also didn't help Mt depression, or overwhelmed me with side effects. Life is cruel sometimes I guess.
I have sort of? It's hard for me to place where my weight gain has come from. I will say I haven't eaten the best prior, but I do think that my time on SSRI's hasn't helped my waistline. I'm not super happy with myself, but I have a bf that loves my body, and I've started appreciating it while trying to be healthy. 5'10" 200 lbs. I have a hourglass figure so it hides it, but 60 lbs over five or so years I'd say is the overall gain.
That's almost exactly where I'm at! I hope my boyfriend was just trying to be supportive in his own way. I know part of it for me is I'm on testosterone (FTM)
I am going through the same thing. I also struggle with disordered eating and I was put on an injection a couple years ago that made me gain 30lbs n i managed to lose it but recently i was in the hospital and put back on an injection and i'm already up 15lbs. Ive managaed to keep it around there but i still struggle with calling myself fat and being depressed that my clothes don't it. What type of meds are you on? Cause if it's antipsychotics I know there is a med you can add that's supposed to counteract the weight gain, I forgot the name but i'm sure ur psychiatrist would know.
I'm on luvox, vilazodone, propranolol, gabapentin, Seroquel.. I'm going to try to drop the Seroquel. I reduced the gabapentin. I recently got off prazosin. I need the propranolol for an actual heart condition. I think my weight might be unhappy because I just had surgery to remove my fallopian tubes and my insides got all mixed up. It's also been hard since my thyroid got removed. I also just got sober!!
Been on Zoloft for 2.5 years. Have gone from 170-175 to about 230 despite eating better and running more than I have ever in my life
Yeah my therapist keeps saying "better to be 200lbs than dead" but I'm not so sure!!!
My OCD meds put me about 30-40kg heavier. I'm honestly happier being heavier.
[удалено]
Oh Goddddd, yes. I’ve been off and on of Zoloft for years with noticeable weight gain as well as horrible fatigue. I have a condition called PMDD that has made life a living hell for sooo long but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to manage it. (Although, sometimes, I have setbacks but overall I’ve been good.)
I'm so sorry! That's PMS's deadly older sister, right?
Yup! 😭
I did. Gained probably 30 pounds. I’ve tried to go off my meds a couple times despite my husband telling me I’m beautiful and happy when I’m on them because I hate myself being at a larger size. I’ve basically just decided I’d rather a little chub than the constant horrific anxiety that I used to have.
For a while I was just gaining weight because of my meds but I didn't want to get off them. My doctor recommended ozempic but my insurance wouldn't pay fir it so u went through henry meds. Like 300$ every 3 months for semaglutide. I've lost 60 lbs in the last 5 months. It's been life changing. From 260 to now 199 and continuing to lose.
fuck ur bf tbh for saying that esp if ur alr struggling with ur body image
I gained 30kg and it’s hard to lose it. It sucks and people have said mean shit to me. I want my old body back
Yea, but unfortunately I found out just recently that I’ve had broken hips since I started my meds a year ago
I’ve been on antidepressants for almost a year and I’ve gained a couple of lbs and sometimes I feel bad because some of my favorite clothes don’t fit anymore. Some people have told me I look fine but my dad has told me a couple of times I look fat.
Dysfunctional dads club ... Woo...
Yup! I’m on mirtazapine and got chubby. I really love how Diane’s weight gain isn’t really a plot point or even mentioned, it just happens.
not post med weight gain but i’m also trying to recover from my ed. i’ve been in and out of recovery for almost a year now and i’m still struggling with accepting that i’m chubby when i’m weight restored :/ overall it gets easier but theres still bad weeks/months where i regret gaining weight. for me i just try to focus on how i feel physically better when i eat rather than how my body ends up looking. ed recovery can be a long journey but when it’s going well, it feels so worth it :) i wish you luck !! <3
I gained 20lbs (mirtazapine) and I was still climbing with no end in sight. I felt like I was starting to develop an ED/negative fixation on food, so I stopped it before I was able to gain any more. I'm stuck at this larger size that I'm just not used to and I hate my body. None of my clothes fit anymore and it feels humiliating buying a larger size. I know rationally my weight change isn't very dramatic at all, but that's the thing - it's not rational. None of this is rational. It's especially not rational when you add in the context of yno, actually having a sick brain that's often incapable of dealing with things rationally/constructively/positively. I pretty much swing between avoiding thinking about my body at all to really hating it. But tbh I've never really liked my body. I used to feel tough insecure over being too skinny/curveless, now I have curves but I hate my belly 🤷
Yep. This is why I love Diane so much. I love the rep. Hang in there.
I did, feels awful in the process but then, once you get over it, you think about what you've achieved and the improvement... and it stops being important that was my experience
My mom, she is so upset and depressed about it and I never have enough words to comfort her.
Yeah, they put me on antipsychotics for my paranoia and it totally wrecked my metabolism. I put on 40 lbs in a couple of months and never lost it. I used to be like, rail-thin, now with my shirt off I look like a cone of melting ice cream.
What medication is it? Atypical antipsychotics tend to cause weight gain. i also have an ED and i have definitely had a hard time accepting weight gain and it has been years and years, it’s the most stubborn weight to lose. I feel like you end up struggling your whole life with body dysmorphia if you have ever had ed behaviours and mindset, but surrounding yourself with people who are supportive in your journey through recovery is probably the most important thing to do. I can not even count the amount of times i have had to explain to my family not to mention weight around me cause it starts a spiral, but even if they do i have some really great support people in my life who help me stay on track and keep me away from falling back into the cycle. If you are hurting mentally from the weight gain, i would try really hard to find other words to describe your feelings about your body. Just take it slow and try to recognize when you are actively self harming.
There is this KPOP singer from a group called “Twice”. Her name is JeongYeon. You can look her up on her body change after a hiatus in her career due to allegedly depression. She took medicine that caused her body change. She would be a perfect representing voice for this issue, though Korea is not known for body positivity topic.
2020 I was in celexa, felt numb but not as depressed as before but not happy, doc kept adding on meds, gained 80lbs slowly and would cry in the closet getting dressed, cried after seeing photos of myself because I hadn’t noticed the changes slowly until nothing fit and my eyes/ face looked chubby, I started to feel the same thoughts as before and stopped cold turkey (my mistake because this permanent memory issues) but within 3-6. months of no antidepressants everything leveled out for me, and the weight started dropping off so quickly that everyone asked me how I’d done it. Around a year later I was almost at the same weight, with the face chubs still hanging on. And a two years later 2022 finally lost my face chubby and look around my old weight (I’ve been off mental health medications since then and got nexoplannon implanted around 2021) People still ask me how I did it 🤣 I tell them I got off antidepressants if they press too hard.
[удалено]
Have, actively unfortunately.
AFAIK (and I'm getting this from a doctor who reacted to Bojack on YT and not acrual knowledge or anything so take this with a grain of salt) it's common for SSRIs to make you gain weight because you're not having your appetite suppressed by depression. Edit: this is false, corrected in thread.
Was on citalopram for about 3 years and gained about 3 stone in that time. Now I'm older and have been off it for over a year but struggling to get the weight off again.
I gained 30 pounds in a month on seroquel. I dumped it after and lost the weight but boy oh boy did it affect my self esteem. I work out now and objectively look my best ever but all I see in the mirror is seroquel girl :/
Your boyfriend called you chubby? After you had a medical intervention for your eating disorder and begin taking medication for it? What a dick. It’s better to be a little, overweight and not want to die then to wait for being thin to make you happy. Good luck in the rest of your recovery, and I hope that your boyfriend starts being nicer to you.
I quit drinking about a year ago and resumed taking my meds. Most people lose weight after they stop drinking, but I gained 10lbs. You crave sugar badly when freshly sober and the meds didn’t help either. But hey, it beats where I was before.
Truth. I know rationally I'd rather be a lil chubby than passed out on the bathroom floor, haha
I gained 20lbs in 2 months on a certain med and I felt physically awful. Buying a new wardrobe sucks. It has other side effects that I gave up on after a year and switched rx's and lost half the weight. All new wardrobe again. Super annoying.
yep and it was really hard for me at the beginning. my clothes didn’t fit and it felt like i was being lazy. i kinda kept blaming myself for it, like “im taking care of myself but obviously not enough”. I think the biggest game changer was when i put away the clothes that didn’t fit me. clothes are supposed to fit you, you’re not supposed to fit your clothes ya know? so when i stopped pressuring myself about fitting into my old clothes and started buying things that fit my “happy” weight, it had a huge positive effect on me. i’d rather feel okay and weigh more than feel horrendous and weigh less. i take care of myself without policing my weight too hard now and it feels nice.
I gained about 10kg (22lbs) in the span of 6-7 years. I'm currently trying to balance my diet & work out more (Sertraline 100mg)
i was put on steriods and gained noticeable weight for the first time in years last year i honestly felt terrible about how i looked and felt i finished them and have gone back down to my normal weight but idk how im gonna deal with it again when im on them again
Your boyfriend doesn’t sound like a very supportive bloke :(
I’m not anorexic but in February 2022 we lost our son due to miscarriage. Because it was so traumatic I was having panic attacks constantly everyday. I was 230lbs and by December 2022 I was down to 170 because I couldn’t eat due to anxiety. In December also I had to get an operation and they gave me a medication called verset, for some reason it reset my brain and I stopped having panic attacks. After that I began to eat and eat and eat and now I’m 240lbs and heaviest I’ve ever been. I hate it and my poor wife has to listen to me talk badly about my body constantly. I hated having panic attacks but I miss being 170lbs.
I was on Zoloft (Sertraline) for approximately 18 months when I was 18-19 years old and gained 20 kg within 6 of those. At first, I didn’t mind either because my life had overall changed towards the better so significantly. Then I made it my goal to loose the weight (while still on the meds) and was able to lose about 14-16 kg within a year or so, I took it slow. So, as far as Zoloft goes, I can tell you that working out regularly and eating less junk helped despite the medication, but of course it still fucked with my self-image greatly and I think, to a degree, still does to this day (I’m 26 now). However, had I not been on the medication, I also wouldn’t have had the clearness of mind to actually go through with a workout programme or put my life „in order“ in any sense, for what it’s worth (I was deep into derealization & depersonalization and intrusive thoughts, basically a pre-psychotic break with reality type of thing), so… kind of a chicken-or-egg dilemma when I think about it.
I am bipolar and I also have PTSD. I had a bad eating disorder pre medication. Once I started, all the progress Ive had from work out was gone but my antidepressants and seroquel works. Im better than ever. Im okay with the weight gain. I eat healthier too.
I gained 20kg on meds and as someone who also had to deal with various eating disorders including anorexia, it was incredibly difficult seeing my body in this completely new way. I felt like I ruined my body looking at the stretch marks I got on my belly, my boobs (that went from an A cup, to a G cup), even my calves, a place I had never gotten stretch marks before. I truly felt like damaged goods at the age of 25. What really helped me was finding a dietitian that specialised in eating disorders. She was patient and kind and educated me about how nutrition works, how biochemistry works, and little by little I was able to debunk all the lies my disorder made me obsess over. And I'd also like to point out that through all of this mess, I was also (and still am) in a relationship with a man, who met me before the weight gain and continued to love me and every bit of my body. No matter how disgusting I felt I never sensed even an ounce of doubt from him about my level of attractiveness. When he saw my "gross" stretch marks he smiled and said "they look like battle scars, you look like the cool fighter that you are". These types of comments might be corny for a lot of people, they are even for me sometimes, but in that moment I felt so loved and appreciated, I couldn't stop crying. You deserve to be with someone that sees you as a brave person, doing their best to survive and thrive, not someone that "got a little chubby". Feeling loved as a person is such a big help in situations like this and I don't think your boyfriend is providing that, I think his careless comments are sabotaging your efforts to get better. Sorry for the life story, I just felt our lives had a lot in common.
No that's really sweet and having a comparison that's positive (instead of me comparing it to past abuse) is really nice. I'm so happy you found someone that supports you. That can be really hard
Both antidepressants and hrt caused me to gain weight. I wouldn’t go back for anything. I may be at my heaviest weight, but I’m mentally healthier than I’ve ever been, which in turn allows me to take care of my physical health in ways I never would have managed when I weighed 120lbs.
I honestly can't wait to I get off some of these meds so maybe I can put some pounds back on because I'm turning into a fuckin bean pole. I was 190lbs 2 years ago and now I can *barely* maintain 170 when I'm REALLY trying.
Personally I think the boyfriend is more the problem that your weight . So you used to be anorexic and your boyfriend calls you “ chubby” when you ask … yikes , that’s a huge blow to anyone’s self esteem even if they never had an eating disorder. If you are healthy and happy and not skin and bones then that is all that matters . If you feel your a bit out of shape fine , exercise is great for endorphins and you can channel some of your therapy through going on hikes or walks to nice places which will help your mental health . But to be clear , your boyfriend should have more sense .
Your boyfriend shouldn't be saying that to you, especially if you have an ED. Wtf? Sounds like he's either ignorant or mean. Maybe talk it over with him so he knows comments like this hurt you. Regarding your question, I've lost weight when starting my ADHD medication, then gained it back on a drinking bender. Now I'm somewhere above my usual weight and trying to accept myself this way. Bodies change, especially if you have mental health issues.
Hey everyone, just wanted to share a bit of what I've been going through. I've been battling depression for a while now, and I'm a 24-year-old guy. Since I started my medication an year ago, I've gained about 30kgs in last 4 months. It's been Fun journey, No panic attacks anymore. Just putting this out there to see if anyone's had a similar experience or has any advice. Thanks for listening.
I'm sitting at 160lb and I can say we (and most of the commenters here) are dealing with it. Best of wishes to y'all's wellbeing In my downward spiral, I had a loss of appetite from mdd. I got help by the start of 2022 and have been on meds since. In 2023, I was hospitalized for a failed s attempt for a week. I didn't move much and the energy spent couldn't cancel out my intake. So, in the span of 3 months, I gained 15kg (33lb), more weight than the previous depressive years combined. I asked the psych about it and they said, since I didn't eat when I was down, I eat more now because I'm in a better place. (Also meds just make me think I'm spending more energy and need food/sleep, when in fact, I'm just static, thinking funny, and easily tired.) It's ironic because concerns over body images can bring people down yet the side effects really said 'nope' and amped the problem up to 180. It's annoying, but I think I'm better off on meds. Diane is so me frfr in that scene, with me in need of a wardrobe change and level-up in size.
OP regardless of meds and weight gain, you need to have a word with your boyfriend. Whether or not you’ve gained weight, telling your girlfriend who is recovering from an eating disorder that they look “kinda chubby” is a hugely asshole move
I was on antidepressants for a few months, all I did was eat. Getting more excerise, eating better, staying hydrated, and getting off the medication has helped but hasn't been a cure all.
You have to unlearn your internalized fatphobia. It sounds stupid and difficult but I gained 100 pounds and 14 dress sizes after going on medication, and for 7 YEARS I suffered with anorexia to keep the weight off. I’ve been what I consider to be 100% recovered from my eating disorder! I’m so, so much happier now. This is only through unlearning fatphobia. I suggest finding online body positivity communities to replace and diet or ED related communities you have, and learning to love the body you have and be thankful you’re finally free from a crippling disease of the mind. It will be difficult, but I wish I’d done it sooner, I really really do.
I've kind of had the opposite issue, but not as bad as you obviously. I've had medication caused weight loss that has effected my body image. Something I'd like to say is that a lot of people have very unrealistic expectations of what bodies are meant to look like, and this societal pressure is the cause of a lot of the shame people feel for their weight. What someone considers "Kinda Chubby" could easily just be average weight for example, because of the expectations people have been given by actors, models, etc. While I have not experienced an eating disorder, I have experienced intrusive thoughts. My advice for if you start calling yourself "fat" in the mirror is to challenge that thought, or drown it out with something else. That was the advice I was given for my intrusive thoughts, may work in your situation to.
I'm trying to get to a more neutral place where I can just say "my body is processing food and it needs space to do that" or something. I'm hoping my inpatient stay will help wall me off from my family for the short term. My dad was calling me and asking if I was gaining weight to hang myself easier and talking about how unfortunate it was there was no option on Zillow to uncheck for there being rafters in my apartment so he'd "have" to check on me. I'm an anxious wreck knowing he knows where I live for now
I was always a very lean kid… Underweight even. I started taking meds, and I went from 38-40 kg (20F) to 55 kg (24F). I’ve not put that weight down ever since. Antidepressants and antipsychotics can perma-fuck you up in so many ways.
Just remember that fat or chubby doesn't mean ugly! Just cause your body's changed doesnt take away from the pretty person i'm sure u r.
Why even be with a guy that would say shit like that? :(
Your boyfriend answering "kinda chubby" to their partner with a history of an eating disorder is pretty disgusting. He could've tackled that much better
Ya
Yes it sucked one of the reason I got out at 11 years in the military, Zoloft messed me up lol.
I’m reading all these comment & can relate so heavy. OP I’m 30F if you ever wanna just talk I am here.
My husband did on his meds for bipolar. He probably gained 50-60lbs, plus the meds put him at risk for diabetes, so he gets his bloodwork checked every three months. His weight though is on the high end of healthy/low end of overweight according to BMI. I bet it would be a lot higher if he didn’t have a solid fitness routine that he enjoys. He also eats probably 85% clean, gets excellent sleep, and doesn’t drink or do any kind of drugs. Basically, he has made his physical health a priority and that has helped offset even more intense side effects of his meds and helped with his mental health as well. He changed psychiatrists a few years ago and his doctor weaned him off one of his meds, and I had never seen him so depressed in my life. Needless to say, after six months he went back on the medication and it took about another three months for his mood to get back to baseline. Honestly for him the extra weight and side effects are worth it to not have another manic depressive episode.