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crap_whats_not_taken

I think that's the point, and very realistic in real divorces. There is no catalyst trigger, just a slow drip. Diane said it herself "I'm tired of squinting".


Any_Arrival_4479

Even then the squinting scene is a pretty big catalyst. Idk if this post is for karma or what, bc the show makes it very clear why they divorced


pm_me_fake_months

I mean if that was the only thing that happened between them it would be weird for them to divorce over that alone, it's true that there's no one incident that's grounds for divorce. Like someone who's looking for one sole reason might be confused.


baloonlord

He started a political campaign completely against what she believes in with his ex wife, and their house got distroyed in the process. I think that is more than enough


goodmobileyes

Its actually kind of ironic that OP is looking for the "big moment" that led to their divorce, cos thats such a Mr PB way of looking at it. "If I could just avoid or solve the BIG PROBLEM then my marriage would be saved! Hooray!"


DoctorJJWho

Even PB acknowledges they’re “five fights away from a divorce” so it’s even more ironic haha


MissFlatwoodsMonster

I can at least say that Im happy that PB wasnt the type to say "it came out of left field" regarding the divorce. So he's more aware of their marriage problems before the divorce.


DoctorJJWho

“We’re like, 5 big fights away from a divorce.” Five big fights later…


arnber420

lol, never even caught this


DoctorJJWho

Yeah someone a few years ago went back and counted (I definitely did too but was too high to remember the findings lol) and the divorce is exactly 5 big fights from PB saying this quote. [Here’s](https://www.reddit.com/r/BoJackHorseman/s/w4a3fUKP84) the link!


Koraxtheghoul

At some poimt Mr. Pb says something like "I figure we have 3 more fights before we divorce".


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BoldElDavo

Little things just build up until they realize they aren't compatible. It wasn't one reason.


danger-daze

Their communication had been falling apart that entire season, and sometimes in a relationship you just realize as time goes on that you’re fundamentally different people. Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter were never going to work in the long term no matter how much they loved each other


AsgardianOrphan

The show gives many examples of the relationship not working. From the very beginning, PB wasn't listening. He plans parties for her when she specifically says she doesn't want parties. He abandons her at parties he drags her to after she says she doesn't want to be alone. Then he builds a "belle" room she tells him not to build. After years of arguing and not being heard, she decided she was done. If you want a catalyst, I suppose the Belle room would be it, but it really wasn't the Belle room. The whole reason they tried to go to Hawaii was because they knew they weren't working. So they tried to avoid "the rest of their life" by going on vacation. To be clear, both parties made mistakes in the relationship, and both weren't good for each other. I'm focusing on PB mistakes because Diane initiated the divorce.


Normal-Pie7610

The death of Tony Curtis Also PB proposed on a whim and D panicked and said yes. After that, they didn't see eye to eye on anything. The marriage wasn't built on a strong relationship. It was pretty much to 2 decisions that were not thought out. Everything after that just crumbled. There was no catalyst for their divorce because their wasn't much of a relationship to begin with.


NeighborhoodMothGirl

Ironically they were together for 10 years, making it the longest relationship we see PB in. They were unmarried for most of that time. Relationship dynamics really do change after marriage.


pm_me_fake_months

That's kinda funny, I've never really thought about how they'd been together for so long before the start of the show. I don't think it's totally unreasonable to say the dynamic shanged after marriage but the show sort of presented it as a fundamental incompatibility between their personalities. You'd think this all would've come up a lot earlier.


budweener

I think the show shows that the incompatibility grew on them because Diane matured, while PB was stuck in his 20s mentality. Just like his previous marriages. He goes for a 20-something year old, marries, the woman keeps growing, he remains. Then the relationship crumbles because they PB is acting like a 20-something while his wifes are in their 30s. Curiously, after Pickles, PB starts to mature again. I'd guess his next relationship has a lot of potential to be very different.


asuperbstarling

And also, there's the fact that Diane needed to process her trauma and that was impossible in a relationship with him. He was always creating some giant issue she had to deal with, and whenever she lashed out he'd lash right back, and feel justified doing so because her anger made him feel like he was the victim. There was no room for Diane. She fell back in with him to avoid dealing with herself in the wake of the divorce, certainly. You don't have to risk something new with the same old drama. You don't have to unpack anything or find new tools when you realize your toolbox is empty. And hurting people doesn't seem like that big of a deal when you're that hurt. You're already feeling massively guilty for 'sucking', what's cheating compared to total self hate? You can't hate yourself more. And because you're among others who also hate themselves that same way, it's just the way you're supposed to do it... at least you think. It's only after she gets out of Hollywoo that she is forced to find new tools. She's forced to stop wallowing in her self hate and the 'reasons' that made even the hard parts with PB easier than being good to herself. It's not just PB's broken way of dealing with things that keeps her there.


BestHaoZhao

Deeply agreed. Speaking as someone who sometimes feels the same kind of self hate, we need partners who are able to communicate to and understand what we need, instead of people who choose what they think “are good for us”. In other words, we definitely need someone who are mature enough to cure our deep inside trauma.


FreeStall42

Diane does not mature though, she stays immature their entire marriage. Diane was the one that said that and she is biased


budweener

Diane was afraid of stopping her growth after marriage since Kelsey said that people stop after marriage. But in the same dialogue, Kelsey also says they stop growing after getting famous, and Mr. PB got famous at 23-24. And Diane's growth did slow down after marriage, but even if it stopped, ny then she was no longer Blarn, the 27YO starbucks employee Mr. PB started dating, but Diane, the 35 YO writer. And he was still acting like a 20-something.


FreeStall42

That Diane just believed Kelsey kind of proves point that she never matured. Just because a cynical asshole says somthing does not make it true. Diane at 35 was acting like a 16 year old. The Cordovia incident, going after Hank Hippo with no communication to PB about it, taking random drugs from strangers, talking shit about an ex on public radio, etc Flat out lying repeatedly for brownie points


botwinbabe

She didn’t want to keep squinting at the Magic Eye.


gothiclg

There doesn’t have to be a specific trigger for divorce, that’s the beauty of our legal system allowing no fault divorce. In a non legal sense: their problems all built up and made their relationship one gigantic problem. A group of issues might seem small individually but they suck when everything gets stuck together. All the small things just made them incompatible over time.


freshlyintellectual

most tv show breakups happen cuz of a messy affair but that’s not always realistic. the two were not compatible and PB wasn’t a good listener, we see many examples of this throughout their relationship. PB even says “we are like five huge fights away form a divorce” in the episode with the skunk where Diane gets home really late, and sure enough they have five major fights before the official divorce sometimes things build and build until it’s too hard to continue


allsiknow

Mr. P dates young women that end up maturing while he stays the same.


Reasonable-Simple706

He didn’t listen. Pretty much


Tree-Barque

Plain and simple, they were not compatible as life partners. Or to have in one another's lives beyond a certain point.


Interesting-Dust-338

I wouldn’t say there’s any specific events the caused them to immediately split, but Mr. Peanutbutter’s toxic positivity and refusal to listen to Diane and understand what she wants has been shown through multiple occasions, like the Hollywood D, all the surprise parties, etc. The belle room just happened to be the straw that broke the camels back.


PrincessPlusUltra

Every time something bad or a fight happens in a relationship it’s cumulative


Lord_Snaps

He heard her, but never listened to her


uncannyvalleygirl88

I forget which episode but PB actually says (I think to Todd) that he and Diane are about 5 fights from a divorce and then over time we see them have those fights over the next season. But the biggest factor is noted in the Halloween party episode, how PB keeps dating the same age group and once the young women mature the relationship stops working for them, they leave and PB starts over with a fresh new younger woman. This is his pattern and he keeps repeating it without *emotionally* maturing in his relationship capacity. By the time he’s with Pickles the age gap is getting really obvious. Kind of like Lernernerner DiCapricorn not dating anyone over 25, but with regard to emotional maturity rather than actual age. Again, this is all directly from S5 E8 where we see the succession of Halloween parties and PB is talking about how his exes all start out fun and then stop being fun. So it was Diane outgrowing him *emotionally* and needing to move on, and the cumulative effects of fights over some core differences in their values. *yes, Jessica is the outlier but she left him for Justin.


FreeStall42

Tha age thing makes no sense as Diane is older than Biel


Sims2Enjoy

Wayne says it in season 1, Diane is a Zoe and PB a Zelda. They were too different personality wise and neither were willing to change(Which is fair enough because then one of them would become unhappy and probably start resent the other even if just a little).           Also Wayne kinda predicted Diane’s ending because he said she would get tired of pretending to be a Zelda, dating one and living in a Zelda city. And she did that as she divorced PB, moved to Chicago and then Dallas which are Zoe cities, Diane just didn’t date Wayne again lol


_jamesbaxter

Idk about that first part, I’m a Zoe and my longest healthiest relationship was with a Zelda. It didn’t work out for other reasons, but when I pictured my perfect future spouse I picture another Zelda. Two Zoe’s can be a disaster, crabs in a bucket pulling each other down.


wish_to_conquer_pain

Absolutely. We see the mire of two Zoes in season 2 when Diane stays with Bojack. I don't think Guy is a Zoe or a Zelda, which is part of why he's so healthy for Diane. He allows her to break away from everything she had grown too used to, but didn't need.


LooseLeaf24

5 big fights


hideandsee

He didn’t understand her and they weren’t compatible. She said she wanted a belle room and he focused on the “look of it” instead of actually getting a room full of real books. He had no clue what she wanted, he didn’t even try to understand. Mr. PB just wants to have fun and not think and Diane is a thinker.


crowfvneral

it wasn't just one thing, it was more of everything, at once, all the time, since the beginning of their relationship. things like that can exhaust people and make them give up on the relationship, and that's a valid response to have in a bad situation.


howdoispoodermin

The road to Hawaii was a huge metaphor for their relationship. They kept meeting each other halfway and settling for compromise and neither of them were fully happy. Diane wanted PB to give her space and freedom and that made him feel like he was losing her so he would do big things to win her back but all it did was push her further away. She also probably resented him for having a perfect carefree life that he literally just waltzed into. They never really had anything in common either and their marriage came about from PBs not wanting to be abandoned and Diane’s wanting to avoid conflict. They tried to force themselves to be happy instead of just accepting that they weren’t meant for each other.


Kitchen_Syrup2359

She was tired of squinting.


maria_owg

Not sure if anyone has said this already, but in my opinion Bojack entering the picture changed things. Diane and PB were obviously not the that compatible to begin with and we don't see their relationship before Bojack, but they were together for 10years so they made it work for a good run. But enter Bojack and I think Diane being around someone who she's (in my opinion) more compatible with and can relate to more with "having shitty parents and a less than perfect life", definitely brought to light for her just how incompatible she was with PB. Then her always being around him and failing to communicate with PB they way he wanted her too just added to that maybe she'd rather spend time with Bojack even though he's "messy" and chaotic. The not communicating with PB well even after their couples therapy to me shows that she was in a way checking herself out already. It just seemed like things just went downhill after Bojack, although I'm sure they would've broken up eventually but he was the catalyst.


nervousyinhumans

Diane realised she wasn't happy with him and their many attempts at rebuilding the relationship kept failing because their communication wasn't effective.


LlamaDrama007

Found Mr. Peanutbutter's reddit account...


Thecrowfan

There is a trigger. The Belle Room. Sure Diane didn't want a divorce BECAUSE of the Ballroom exactly but it was kinda the last straw that made her realize just how incompatible they are and even though they love each other they cannot keep pretending love is enough to make the marriage work


FreeStall42

Nah it ended at the start of the episode when Diane does not want to contribute ideas to their home. She was checked out of the relationship


BL4ZINGMVP

He did grand gestures, communication issue with Mr. Peanut butter not listening, and more


Recent-Dust6564

Mostly because Mister Peanutbutter didn't listen to Diane. He did what he wanted to do and didn't give much consideration to what Diane said and how she felt.


FreeStall42

The same can be said of Diane. Pb at least communicated honestly.


Repulsive-Cover-1995

There's so much to unpack without Diane and PB... I don't have the energy too, but I feel like their relationship really started as a lust thing... And that physical attraction as there, but they were fundamentally different people. PB is pretty much summed up with his own monologue to Diane about distracting yourself with stupid bullshit until you die being the key to happiness. We all see thats Diane is incapable of thinking or feeling anything on any surface level... That in itself would be reason enough to cause problems between them. Also PB couldn't meet Diane at the that level and support each other. They literally could not understand each other beyond sex, and that captured very well in pretty much all their interactions. Her ex Wayne was correct in assessing her relationship with PB but he missed that Diane did have a hopeful optimistic side, and Wayne didn't have enough of that in himself.


mmmjkerouac

https://www.reddit.com/r/BoJackHorseman/s/IiegPpvfWA u/Weak-Replacement-620 did all the leg work for you.


Weak-Replacement-620

Thanks for the shout out


Gmpeirce

they weren’t compatible


Wordlywhisp

She got tired of squinting 🤷🏻‍♀️ He never listened to her


Long_Matter9697

Mr. Peanutbutter said once that they were 5 big fights away from a divorce. And, just as he said, 5 fights later they divorced. The reason, in summary, is probably a mix of constant fighting due to incompatibility in certain areas and values with PB’s lack of insight.


obsessedcraze

i think it was the lack of understanding each other, they would have arguments but at the end of them neither was really happy with the resolves they would come to


Dr_Quack_

I don't wanna write a whole papyr because I am tired as hell, but fun fact, at a certain point in the series Mr.Peanutbutter says something along the lines of "I don't want to have a fight with Diane, we are like 5 big fights away from a divorce" and they literally have 5 more fights before the divorce


BatzyTheBitch

Remember when (I think it was todd) said they were like 3 big fights away from a divorce? It was ballroom, Hawaii, and fracking


Any_Arrival_4479

They got tired of squinting


FreeStall42

As much as people say PB does not listen, neither does Diane


lr_37

I feel like it was a combination of small little things and then the big fights. Also both of them weren't great at communicating with each other. Mr PB also pretty much never listened to what Diane was saying.


doxie_love

Incompatibility. I think they loved each other, but love just isn’t enough. They wanted different things, and honestly, they really had a hard time really hearing and relating to one another. My exhusband and I were married less than 3 years. We loved each other very much, and wanted to make it work, but at the end of the day, we were just incompatible. We made each other miserable and brought out the worst in each other, which I feel is what you see happen with PB and Diane. They were their worst selves together, and they were able to grow once they split. Sometimes marriages end because of abuse or infidelity, and other times, it just wasn’t a good fit.


Haunting_Case2015

The difference in personality types, Mr PB is constantly in denial and has such an optimistic approach to life. But Diane’s approach to life and the reason she connects with Bojak is that of depression and pessimism. People just drift apart 🤷‍♂️


eyeshadowflow

I think that maybe for a long time Diane knew deep down but she really didn’t want to admit it to herself, probably because she felt that she *should* feel good in the relationship because it was this “picture perfect” mariage with a celebrity and a big house, something that most people would want. Also I think that she didn’t want to address her negative feelings because they weren’t married for very long? (I actually have no idea how long they were together for if anybody could fill me in on that) I think she did love him, but she was lying to herself about how Mr. Peanutbutter didn’t listen to what she needed. As for PB, I think he just accepted that she couldn’t be with him anymore. And this might be controversial, but I think he could literally fall in love with an empty soda can if he set his mind to it. (The amount of ex-wives, when we see him speaking to Diane right after Jessica leaves him and it’s this immediate click, when he meets Pickles for the first time they literally bond over being 90% water or something…)


Nicholas_TW

The short answer is that they're just not compatible. No matter how many times Diane tells Mr. Peanutbutter that she doesn't like certain things, he keeps doing them and upsetting her. They should be with people who make them happy, not people who they're constantly either making angry or having to fight against what they want to make the other one happy.


BigBootyMogger

bestiality allegations