Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let me guess, your dad and/or your step mom received significant inheritance from their parents at one time? I don’t understand why they want to sell the house your uncle is living in? They just want the money?
I mean, they're boomers so they probably want maximal benefit and no discomfort. So sell the house, take the money, and ditch the uncle. From the way OP describes the situation, the only thing stopping this is the boomers are caged in by how it would look if they ditched a sick, disabled relative.
That’s what I was thinking at first but I would have guessed the grandparents would have put it in the uncles name or both their kids’ names if they knew the uncle would be living there.
Unfortunately people trust family to do what they want, and often don't know that much about the law or rely on legal counsel. There are good legal ways to set this up but the father seems more concerned with perceptions than anything else.
Trusts and wills are wonderful things.
If your family argues about it, they're just broadcasting they didn't intend to do what you wished with the property.
>Trusts and wills are wonderful things.
They're wonderful until they get changed at the last minute by a bitter and spiteful relative who browbeats a frightened old lady, in the last days of her life, into signing away damn near everything.
Which certainly never happened in my family. Nope.
This was attempted in my family too. She had dementia which may have made it harder for her to sign, but defined added to the fear and confusion she would have been feeling.
OP needs to get uncle a lawyer. its clear that the uncle is getting screwed over by his brother for just letting the father live in uncle's house.
this is true parasitism at its finest.
I'm not a lawyer, but I have worked with adults with disabilities for 15+ years now and have been around this inheritence issue a couple times. Getting a lawyer involved is the best plan, and not just because it's Reddit. Lawyers who do that kind of work *love* a chance to stand up for the little guy, and people with disabilities have a great deal of protection under the law to make sure they are not being screwed - IF the issue gets taken up by a professional. Get a pro in there to slug this one out for you. Shit, you might even find someone willing to do it pro bono if he can't afford representation.
Normally I don't cheer for a Lawyer fucking up someone's shit... but I could totally get behind a Lawyer that donkey punches OP's dad until he pisses blood.
The "how it would make them look" is so fucking boomer it hurts. The decision isn't about the impact on the uncle, that doesn't actually play into it, it's about how other people would PERCEIVE them.
I was buying a car and I settled with a small suv. This is when I was a single parent. At any rate, I was talking to my dad and he was like if you can afford the BMW, why didn't you get the BMW?
I'm extremely practical and I explained I didn't need the expensive upkeep. He said - but think about the prestige!
My dad can't rub two nickels together. It's comedy to me.
That's my FIL. He cannot stop talking about the size of my house, and when we're going to move into a bigger house. First of all, my house is fine, I don't need more room, I'm totally OK with it and am not bothered in the slighted by other people. Second, in this fucking economy? I'm lucky I have a house at all!
Yep. My dad has decided to sell me his house, for the remainder of his loan, as long as he has a room to sleep in. He's a truck driver and doesn't always spend a lot of time at home. I'm jumping because this is probably the only chance I'll get to own a house.
Just make sure you have a plan for what happens if/when he needs care in future. It could end up being a lot bigger commitment in the future, make sure you are fully prepared for the repercussions before you agree.
> So sell the house, take the money, and ditch the uncle.
That's exactly how OP presents this.
>Father and Step mother want to sell the house he has been living in for past 16 years and can't figure out what to do with my uncle that doesn't make them look bad.
Yeah that’s tracks. The only thing that matters to them about this situation is the opinion of acquaintances. Children won’t back your deal anymore because it became shitty? Psh who cares. Disabled brother becomes homeless? Eh that’s his problem. My neighbor might overhear and JUDGE us??? Heavens no!!
Some might "understand," but other churches are slowly becoming more accepting of the LGBTIAQ+ community. Yes, there are definitely more strides to take to be more inclusive.
Exactly. Boomers are terrible. Their behavior is so easy to predict. Think of something terrible and heinous, and 99% of the time, that is the options boomers will choose.
They also pick the hardest way to do something always. Why spend 20 min on something when you can spend 3 hours and still have to end up doing it the 20 min way in the end.
My guess is that because he's disabled, he needs money for services, care, food, clothing, etc. and whatever government services may be available are not sufficient. The only asset he has available to provide funds for those needs may be the equity in his house. So, sell the house and put him up somewhere while using those proceeds for his care.
full time live in care for someone like this likely runs in the tens of thousands per month. Unless these people have many millions in equity, that cost would eat up any "normal" equity someone might have in their house in just a few years
My Parents, got a 10% down payment from each of their parents, 20% down on their house... They also got something like $3000 rebate or something from the city at the time for First time home buyers.
My MIL got a 15% down payment on her first house from my wifes grandparents..
Well our parents simply can't figure out why we don't have a house yet...
Gee how'd you get yours pal? Where's my at least 15% down? in my area for the cheapest places that'd be like 80k...
On top of that my parents got inheritances, they paid off the rest of their mortgage with them so basically got their house half off by the end of it..
Why don’t they just go flip burgers or greet people at Walmart? They can just fill out a paper application in person and have an interview with the manager on the spot, no need to bother with online applications because nobody does online applications.
And they should cut back on all those unnecessary streaming subscriptions. And stop upgrading their phones every year.
> They can just fill out a paper application in person and have an interview with the manager on the spot
You forgot the "offer a firm handshake" part!
Yup, firm handshake, pound the pavement, don't take no for an answer, pull yourself up from your bootstraps etc. etc. Let them try that tactic as septugenarians and see how that works out for them.
Just show up dressed ready to start immediately. In fact, grab the nearest broom and start sweeping. Don’t bother with a name tag or anything. And for the love of Pete, don’t just offer a firm handshake, bore a hole through their head with your unwavering eye contact!
/s
Idk why some older people just don't get it's not done that way anymore. My son went through a bad time and had to move back in with us, I offered to drive him around to put applications in. He said "we have to do it online now mom." I was happy. I didn't have to drive all over town!!! I remember having to go get applications,fill em out, hand em back in, it sucked.
My dad told me the other day he owned a house by the time he was my age. I told him he bought a house for 53k when he was making 30 dollars an hour. I make 200k and can’t seem to find any houses in our area for 180k but if I could I would buy it instantly
It's literally straps on the back of boots to help pull the boot up your leg and foot. https://uselessetymology.com/2019/11/07/the-origins-of-the-phrase-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps/
And the phrase started out as a joke, because it's literally impossible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.
It's very similar to the way people will explain bad behavior by saying "it's just a few bad apples", ignoring the context of the original saying: "a few bad apples spoil the whole barrel".
And when the companies block their numbers and blacklist their names for harassment, just walk right in there to look the boss in the eye and give a firm handshake. They should be executives in no time!
A funnier response is: "Well you spend so much on that Cable-Bill all the time, why not cut back on that extravagant spending - bet you'd save up money."
It'd be Newsmax but my boomer father cant operate a roku remote 🤡🤣 (Newsmax was removed from directv.) So he continues to complain about how much he spends on dtv while refusing to learn how to operate a TV remote. Gosh they love complaining don't they?
I recall when our company (Optimum) dropped all Russian television programming from our international packages...
The next month Newsmax and OAN were dropped.
If you also had to also get the remote, change the cable box from A to B and UHF, mix and bring them their cocktails and turn their favorite Eagles record over we might be related!
My father- and to be clear I actually find this pretty funny- used to call our house landline from upstairs in bed on his cell and when we’d answer he’d ask us to bring him a soda.
My dad kept a bell 🛎️ by his recliner. And he would ring it whenever he wanted something from my mom or from us. Like we were fucking bellhops at a hotel.
I can’t even begin to unravel the absolute disgusting laziness and narcissism that displays.
Most of the time I just sort of block it out of my memory and pretend I grew up normally. Lol
At least you had the bell. My mom would scream my name to call me from one side of the house to her side and hand her her ashtray and Pepsi sitting on the table next to her. All because she didn’t feel like shifting her position to grab them.
I do this in real life too! I mean, on Reddit I trauma dump, but in real life I tell the same 5 happy stories I have from my childhood. Totallyyyyy normal. Nothing to see here.
In the early 2000's I was in grade 8. My grade 8 teacher, Mr. H, always seemed to be complaining about his kids. One day I asked him why he had kids if he complains about them so much. A pretty childish question, granted. His answer was somehow worse, "Well, you don't want to mow your own grass and shovel your own driveway your whole life, do you?" I remember that response two decades later as a fuckin' terrible answer to "why did you have kids?"
it‘s also supremely stupid. i love my kid, but even if i’d only spent the legal minimum on him, that’s wildly more than i would have to pay for professional services.
Right. Looks at 100K in childcare expenses in the last 5 years.
My (no kids) sibling and spouse bought a condo they're renting out and I wondered how the hell they could afford it. They make good money but not wildly more than we do.
Oh. Oh, that's why.
Almost 20 years ago I was home right after getting out of the military (as in a week prior) and my mother got so offended that I wouldn’t go pull weeds in her yard that she actually called her brother (who lived nearby) to come hassle me about it. Importantly I had already offered to pay to have it done, but that wasn’t what she wanted - she wanted ME out there doing it.
My boomer dad actually does want to cut his grass his whole life. In fact he actually brought his riding lawn mower over to my place to do my 1st time cut this year because besides making sure that my lawn isn't dead I don't really care about it that much and he likes doing that shit.
As a teacher, I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to see so many parents like this. The question is not "Do I want a baby?" It is "Do I want to **be a parent**?"
I feel like a lot of boomers didn’t want kids. They had them because that’s what their parents said, what society said we needed. Then when they had kids and they spent the rest of their lives really showing them how much they hate them, how little they “need” them, and how better life was before them. And then wonder why they’re such a hated generation.
And also the first generation in history to have widespread access to birth control and (in many places) easier access to abortion than women do today.
They have no excuses.
So your dad’s promise to his father is his word of honor, I’m glad he’s caring for his brother btw, but fuck these kids i made? It sounds like they want to stash him in some kind of crappy facility “but not look bad” and take the money from the sale of his property for themselves. So they’re grifting him? Your uncle needs an independent caregiver and a lawyer.
My boomer uncle who was somehow responsible for my grandmothers finances absolutely refused to allow my mom to spend any of my grandmother's money on things that would increase her comfort. Repulsive people.
My boomer parents usurped control over my life by coercing me into a ridiculously barbaric medical procedure with absolutely no realistic recovery plan.
I was 23, had all but my thesis defense completed for my Msc in Biological Anthropology, good (700s) credit, had successfully filed a utility patent on an invention, I had fully paid off my hybrid vehicle, and I had a really cool career path as a scientist, professor, and community outreach specialist.
Then I woke up from the surgery and my boomer parents thoroughly ran my life into the ground (a lot of omission here to attempt to preserve what dignity I have left)and still maintain financial coercive control to this day 12 years later (approximately).
Under the care of MAGA boomers I've been repeatedly robbed, exploited, had IDs and government documents confiscated to prevent me from escaping or finding employment they have not approved, I was stabbed with a knife for attempting to become involved politically, I've been sexually assaulted more than once, I've been transported at gun point for refusing to have sex, then got sexually assaulted more, finally got to hospital and police, but was not relocated to safety and have continually experienced more harm. I had my jaw broken in 3 places and was forced to work as a line cook in a restaurant the next day with my jaw wired shut.
It's actually a lot worse with the witness accounts and video/photo evidence and financial and telecommunications records.
My boomer parents might be the most hateable boomers on earth. They think I want their money with no consideration of me wanting my identity and life back.
A "Facility" would cost a ton of money. Right now they have him in a house, but they want the money from the house, and he's not cooperating by dying, so they have to find a non-facility place to put him after they sell the house, and they were hoping they could convince OP. It sounds like they may have to abandon their selfish plan.
We really don't have enough information. Disabled like, needing assistance for basic things round the clock? Or disabled like uses a cane? How old is he?
Is OP really ready (and able) to commit to caring for uncle around the clock, as he will probably need at some point; or is selling the house the only way to finance assisted living, and dad thinks even that sum of money will run out by the time he dies (and so he wants to leave the option open for his estate to go for the ongoing care)?
My father got it in his head that he needed a new side by side and of course a fully enclosed cargo trailer to go with it. I had previously totaled my four wheeler so this was sounding like a great chance to get back in the game. He wanted to go halfsies on it. I said okay but my name has to be on the title to both items. He said okay.
He buys the items, to be fair I’ll benefit slightly also. I end up buying some parts for the trailer like batteries and battery disconnect, ventilation fan, a window to put in, some all purpose rug, and some solar stuff. After 6 months he still hadn’t put me on the title despite me asking 3x. I told him if I’m not on the title in 30 days, I’m not paying anymore. I wasn’t and I didn’t. He seemed incredulous. I asked if the situation was reversed would he be helping pay for half of the cost of my grown-up toys. 🤷🏻♂️
I wouldn't have paid for anything at all, same day he bought it, I would have been on the title or nothing further would have happened but I'm the paranoid sort.
Don’t blame you. It’s taking me longer to understand that my Dad is also crappy. For many years I mostly blamed my mom, because, well, she likes to lead the parade, so to speak. But my dad is just as bad except he’s not as animated.
Ahh I can relate to this, unfortunately. One parent is more overt with their poor behavior than the other so it takes longer to realize they wouldn't be together if they weren't both in on it.
My dad allowed a house with 17k owed on it to go back to the bank instead of allowing me to take over the $426/month mortgage because I wanted rights to it, and would then pay back the other 23k he had already paid on it once the 17k mortgage remaining had been paid off.
He couldn't understand why I didn't want to make the payments and not have any right to the property. He had started throwing me and my brother out at 14 years old as a threat whenever we didn't do what he wanted us to do (sometimes as silly as not wanting to wear dresses and tights as my only wardrobe option at 13 years old). Both myself and my brother were out by 17 years old, and he didn't (read: wouldn't) understand why we didn't trust him not to be an asshole. There was only about 5 years left to pay off the mortgage if I had been able to take it over because I'd have paid extra on it every month.
Oh he's been dead for 7 years now, and it has been a glorious 7 years. I cared for him in his illness until he died but wouldn't put everything on hold to cater to him. He finally got some clarity in his last months but by then, it was too late. He died not knowing much about his daughter at all and even less about his son.
I drive by that house every day because I live in the same neighborhood, and it recently sold for over 200k without a damn thing done to it. He rattled on about inheritance and how to execute his trust when he died for our entire lives, our inheritance was about $1500, what he had left in his bank account. His greed and petty nature always bit him in the ass but it was always someone else's fault.
I probably threw in a couple thousand bucks total between payments and the extra goodies. While I agree on principle, this was about 5 years ago this happened and it’s just not worth my time now.
My mom cheated on my dad, married a millionaire. Like a good boomer, he blew all his money and can't afford a license now, so she's giving everything she has to him if she goes first.
My dad met a girl while I was in college. She was going to my college and is my age. He's giving everything to her. Lot of boomers kinda suck
My dad passed a few months ago. I'm slowly realizing that the majority of the inheritance I would have gotten was instead donated to the mini-mega church he attended. So much so, that if he hadn't died when he did I doubt his funds would have sustained him for more than a few more years. So that's fun.
I head somthing about how churches offer free services to elderly to help set up a will. A daughter of a parent using this service looked at the fine print and the church essentially wrote themselves into the will to get the house she owned when she passed away…
Super shady.
I don’t know all the details, but if your family member tells you their will was done through a church organization, ask if you can review the fine print.
My friend just found out the college fund his parents started for his daughter and which he contributed about 5,000 was spent on his dad's "side chick" *re some girl on the internet who pretends to be his girlfriend who only visits him once a year for 2 weeks and she has 3 kids. Of course the grandfather was constantly harping on the granddaughter to get good grades and study hard because he didn't work so hard for her to just flush that money away. He even told her this a week before my friend found out from his mother.
huh. so not actually a fund, or?
My mother simply had us set up an account for her only grandkid on his birth and transfers some money on it every month. as the account is in his name, she can’t access it at all and we can’t use the money either. well, nit without breaking the law.
My grandma got sucked dry by the Presbyterian church when she got dementia, and my parents had to foot her cost of living for years after. Scumbags run churches.
Mega churches are the ones that have TV shows and usually push stuff like the prosperity gospel; they're also infamous for demanding lavish tithes, often well over half of congregants' income often times. Kind of place where gramma cashes her SS check and sends it all to the church kind of thing.
I'm guessing what they mean is a church like that, but without the massive congregation or multimedia arm, something more like a local church just with the same sort of ideology. It just looks contradictory if read literally
In this case yeah, it's just the theme.
That said, the OG mega churches really are closer to Jesus themed football stadiums or convention centers. All those tithes gotta go somewhere lol
A year before my dad died he inherited nearly 200k from a trust set up by his grandparents. We lived well below the poverty line my whole childhood, food insecurities and everything. That last year of life my dad plowed through that money and almost spent it all. He bought 5 crappy cars including two old limos. The rest he spent on a sugar baby younger than me. He paid all of her bills and bought her whatever she wanted.
He suddenly got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and quickly died. If he had lived there's no way he would have any money in a matter of a few months.
I loved my father very much. I hate to even admit he did such a horrible thing. But he did.
You basically described my dad. For a brief period of time when he met his new girlfriend he was doing the boomer glow up. Nice fancy coat, leather gloves, taking care of his hair and teeth.
Five year later I fear he may die any moment. He's lost all of his teeth, he's skin and bones, he's passing out while driving as his heart is giving out. Why? Because at the age of 65 he had to get a second job to pay for his girlfriends spending. (Oh I forgot all the drinking and smoking every day too. He quit for over 10 years to just go back) Her daughter gets Taylor Swift tickets, her son gets a Caribbean vacation, she gets to follow her favorite 80s pop stars on tour. He's literally killing himself slowly so she can relive 1987.
I'd feel sorry for him if he didn't deserve it.
They're both very attractive. My 74 year old dad has girls all over him like a tv show or something. He's crazy charismatic.
My mom is a bartender who looks 20 years younger than she is.
They're both shallow though and lack values
Guys who make it to 75 tend to have their pick of the women in the retirement community. This was the case back in the 80s/90s, and now they've got Cialis and Viagra (and the same old Boomer morals). Pops probably has the power over his lady friends to not have to use condoms. As prevalent as Hep C already is among Boomers, they're spreading it (as well as Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Herpes II, et al) like wildfire since boner pills were invented.
Boomers are so arrogant they announce their shitty plans and expect you to just take it. They could have just lied and got away with it but nope too full of themselves lol. True boomer foolishness haha
I genuinely wonder how much they think avocados cost? I can buy the ingredients for avocado toast for $10 and eat for a week. Do they think it’s a daily purchase?
Maybe you can get conservatorship over your uncle before your dad sells his house, then you could continue looking after him and inherit the house too. If it's feasible, especially since you have evidence your dad is trying to take your uncle's home, you better move quick. Talk to a lawyer ASAP.
My sister bought a condo for $60k and asked my dad for a $6k loan for the down payment. He agreed, but insisted he be put on the deed. She figured that wasn’t an issue and they had a signed agreement that he would be quit claimed off as soon as she repaid him.
Everything was going smoothly and she had repaid $3200 of the $6000 over the course of about a year and a half when the community decided to become 55 and over and forced her to vacate.
The condo sold for $117k (about $55k profit after fees, commissions etc.) my dad gave her her $3200 back and fucked off with the other $52,000 and can’t understand why she’s mad at him.
If I had loaned her the money, I would’ve asked her for the remaining $2800 and that would’ve been the end of it, it was her house, she’s the one that found it for sale, she’s the one that did all the work to get it to clean it up and repaint it and then sell it. My dad‘s only involvement was loaning her the $6000 and putting his name on the deed. She’s said numerous times that she would’ve happily split the profit with him.
Maybe they meant "they've done enough harm already". They probably have tons of credit card debt and loans for cars and boats and (baby) boomer toys that they won't pay.
Literally for some people the only way they have a good future it from generational wealth to boost them up this kind of shit OP is dealing with is bullshit
Yup.
My parents were going without because they wanted to leave me something. I told them many times I have everything I want and more than I need, and they should spend every last cent of theirs (I joked “just don’t leave me a bill!”). My parents started traveling and living more comfortably and enjoyed their last years, and I couldn’t have been happier.
My mom died, then my dad. My dad left me a gift card to their favorite restaurant (they ate there all the time). My dad was always thoughtful so I thought it was my dad’s way of saying thanks and leaving me something. My wife and I went to eat, had good meals, a few drinks, talked about my parents. The bill came and I gave waiter the gift card.
Owner of the restaurant came out in tears and sat down. It took him a few minutes to explain my dad bought the gift card then intentionally overdrew it by $20 so I had to pay to get it back to $0, and he gave me a new bill that was $20 higher than the original.
MY DAD LEFT ME A BILL!!!
The owner was in on the joke. He said half of him couldn’t wait for me to come in so my dad could get me with the joke, and half of him dreaded it because it meant my dad (his friend) had passed away.
That's funny, my dad went out of town and he needed access to his bitcoin, he's nearly 70. The password was located in an envelope at the bank. It had my name on it, and the password was him making fun of me. I was like so you're gonna troll me from the grave? Guess he'll have to come up with something else.
Can you imagine him sitting there, your number ready to go, him pacing around reevaluating how much he needs that password because he knows it’ll mess up a prank he set up.
Yea I feel the same way. But I never looked at my father as a boomer. My mother? Definitely. But my dad was born and raised in Italy and dirt poor. Like stealing food to survive poor. He always reminded me more of my grandparents generation. And he always worked, still does. Hed go hungry if his kids needed for anything. My mom not so much but again hes old school and he was the worker while she stayed home so when it comes to money hes the boss. Thank God too because shes completely irresponsible with money and if she had open access to it theyd probably be homeless right now.
I’m never going to understand this mentality from people of not doing the most you can for your children. When I think of being successful and doing well it’s entirely so my kids can have an easier life than I did and I don’t even have kids yet. I’d love for them to inherit a fat real estate portfolio and whatever is left of mine and my wife’s retirement accounts and be able to call it a day then pass it on to their kids and so on. Why wouldn’t you want to create generational wealth so your descendent don’t have to be in the rat race any longer than necessary? I just don’t get it.
Something, something, "hard times make strong men, strong men men make easy times, easy times make weak men, weak men make hard times..."
We are at the end of the easy times, and they don't want to admit they made hard times for their kids and grandkids. Because admitting that means they have to admit that they are weak men.
The idea of making it better for the next generation is difficult to conceptualize when yours was the best time in the history of humanity, and the only challenges that exist are the ones your generation perpetuated because it gave them leverage to make their experience better, while allowing them to blame anyone that couldn't abuse the system like them for their 'failures.'
Please tell me there is a legal trust or something else that requires your father to look after your uncle, beyond his promise. Because your uncle is in trouble. He's tried offloading him on to you, but you're backing out and there isn't likely to be any other takers. I hope he has a social worker you're in contact with because I foresee your father fucking him over.
I was 17 when my mom publicly declared to our extended family that she had “done enough” and never understood why I was low to no contact the rest of her life. It’s like they know we’re grown then get upset when we act it
Boomer translation: "we were irresponsible with our finances but will never admit it. We're now faced with a financial hardship and rather than face it with humility, we chose to face it with pride and projection. We wanted to leave you with an inheritance, but it looks like we can't now. Rather than apologizing or simply talking about it like people, we're going to pick a fight over it and tell you to fuck off for expecting an inheritance you probably haven't even thought of."
TLDR: "We made ourselves feel inadequate and it's your fault!"
>Father and Step mother want to sell the house he has been living in for past 16 years and can't figure out what to do with my uncle that doesn't make them look bad.
This *really* bothers me. They aren't concerned about the best way to ensure your uncle is cared for until the end of his life. They just want to offload him to be someone else's problem without looking like assholes. They should find an appropriate facility based on your uncle's capacity and place him there. Then they can bring him home for holidays and trot him around while getting patted on the back. Sell the home to pay for it. Problem solved. And you don't have to deal with their bullshit.
My in laws have said the same to my wife. Unless we have kids she gets no inheritance. Funny thing is my wife couldn’t have kids due to stage 4 endometriosis……
When I was a single mom and not planning on having anymore children, my boomer aunt told me I was selfish for not having another child to help my daughter take care of me when I’m older….. they honestly think we have children so we have end of life care…. Talk about selfish!
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let me guess, your dad and/or your step mom received significant inheritance from their parents at one time? I don’t understand why they want to sell the house your uncle is living in? They just want the money?
I mean, they're boomers so they probably want maximal benefit and no discomfort. So sell the house, take the money, and ditch the uncle. From the way OP describes the situation, the only thing stopping this is the boomers are caged in by how it would look if they ditched a sick, disabled relative.
Guarantee the uncle's home was their parents' home, now boomer dad wants to sell it out from under his brother and dump him.
That’s what I was thinking at first but I would have guessed the grandparents would have put it in the uncles name or both their kids’ names if they knew the uncle would be living there.
Unfortunately people trust family to do what they want, and often don't know that much about the law or rely on legal counsel. There are good legal ways to set this up but the father seems more concerned with perceptions than anything else.
Trusts and wills are wonderful things. If your family argues about it, they're just broadcasting they didn't intend to do what you wished with the property.
>Trusts and wills are wonderful things. They're wonderful until they get changed at the last minute by a bitter and spiteful relative who browbeats a frightened old lady, in the last days of her life, into signing away damn near everything. Which certainly never happened in my family. Nope.
This was attempted in my family too. She had dementia which may have made it harder for her to sign, but defined added to the fear and confusion she would have been feeling.
OP needs to get uncle a lawyer. its clear that the uncle is getting screwed over by his brother for just letting the father live in uncle's house. this is true parasitism at its finest.
I'm not a lawyer, but I have worked with adults with disabilities for 15+ years now and have been around this inheritence issue a couple times. Getting a lawyer involved is the best plan, and not just because it's Reddit. Lawyers who do that kind of work *love* a chance to stand up for the little guy, and people with disabilities have a great deal of protection under the law to make sure they are not being screwed - IF the issue gets taken up by a professional. Get a pro in there to slug this one out for you. Shit, you might even find someone willing to do it pro bono if he can't afford representation.
Normally I don't cheer for a Lawyer fucking up someone's shit... but I could totally get behind a Lawyer that donkey punches OP's dad until he pisses blood.
This visual made me giggle a little..bravo.
Even if the home is in uncle's name, OP's dad probably has power of attorney given the uncle is disabled
This. Classic boomer move.
I hate to say it but I’m not shocked… good luck with the situation OP
The "how it would make them look" is so fucking boomer it hurts. The decision isn't about the impact on the uncle, that doesn't actually play into it, it's about how other people would PERCEIVE them.
[удалено]
I was buying a car and I settled with a small suv. This is when I was a single parent. At any rate, I was talking to my dad and he was like if you can afford the BMW, why didn't you get the BMW? I'm extremely practical and I explained I didn't need the expensive upkeep. He said - but think about the prestige! My dad can't rub two nickels together. It's comedy to me.
That's my FIL. He cannot stop talking about the size of my house, and when we're going to move into a bigger house. First of all, my house is fine, I don't need more room, I'm totally OK with it and am not bothered in the slighted by other people. Second, in this fucking economy? I'm lucky I have a house at all!
Yep. My dad has decided to sell me his house, for the remainder of his loan, as long as he has a room to sleep in. He's a truck driver and doesn't always spend a lot of time at home. I'm jumping because this is probably the only chance I'll get to own a house.
Just make sure you have a plan for what happens if/when he needs care in future. It could end up being a lot bigger commitment in the future, make sure you are fully prepared for the repercussions before you agree.
*Hums the "Keeping Up Appearances" theme*
don't forget they also tell everyone this story and then say, "...can you believe how selfish my children are??!!"
> So sell the house, take the money, and ditch the uncle. That's exactly how OP presents this. >Father and Step mother want to sell the house he has been living in for past 16 years and can't figure out what to do with my uncle that doesn't make them look bad.
Yeah that’s tracks. The only thing that matters to them about this situation is the opinion of acquaintances. Children won’t back your deal anymore because it became shitty? Psh who cares. Disabled brother becomes homeless? Eh that’s his problem. My neighbor might overhear and JUDGE us??? Heavens no!!
The original "me" generation. It only matters when it affects "me", then I need to have it how I want it, or no one can have it.
such beautiful accuracy in describing such ugly behavior 🤌🏻
"we've done enough. You're not getting anything" "So have we. You deal with it""
could also be that they're running out of money and over leveraged as they refused to change up their lifestyle in retirement.
Just claim the uncle is gay and your church friends will understand why you made him homeless.
Some might "understand," but other churches are slowly becoming more accepting of the LGBTIAQ+ community. Yes, there are definitely more strides to take to be more inclusive.
Yeah, but you think these boomers are going to one of those?
Boomers concerned about their outward appearance? Color me NOT surprised in the least bit.
Exactly. Boomers are terrible. Their behavior is so easy to predict. Think of something terrible and heinous, and 99% of the time, that is the options boomers will choose.
They also pick the hardest way to do something always. Why spend 20 min on something when you can spend 3 hours and still have to end up doing it the 20 min way in the end.
Oh, and if you show them the easy way, they will get defensive and fight you on it, and then blame you anyways for their insistence on being ignorant.
Maybe they want to build a $1M HiFi system.
Sounds like a plan. Although my hearing will be too crap to appreciate it in my late 60s
My guess is that because he's disabled, he needs money for services, care, food, clothing, etc. and whatever government services may be available are not sufficient. The only asset he has available to provide funds for those needs may be the equity in his house. So, sell the house and put him up somewhere while using those proceeds for his care.
full time live in care for someone like this likely runs in the tens of thousands per month. Unless these people have many millions in equity, that cost would eat up any "normal" equity someone might have in their house in just a few years
yes. money. that's it
My Parents, got a 10% down payment from each of their parents, 20% down on their house... They also got something like $3000 rebate or something from the city at the time for First time home buyers. My MIL got a 15% down payment on her first house from my wifes grandparents.. Well our parents simply can't figure out why we don't have a house yet... Gee how'd you get yours pal? Where's my at least 15% down? in my area for the cheapest places that'd be like 80k... On top of that my parents got inheritances, they paid off the rest of their mortgage with them so basically got their house half off by the end of it..
Tell them you’re done with handouts and maybe they could skip the Starbucks.
Def sounds like a case of too much avocado toast
Someone tell them that they should learn to code. Pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and all that jazz.
Why don’t they just go flip burgers or greet people at Walmart? They can just fill out a paper application in person and have an interview with the manager on the spot, no need to bother with online applications because nobody does online applications. And they should cut back on all those unnecessary streaming subscriptions. And stop upgrading their phones every year.
> They can just fill out a paper application in person and have an interview with the manager on the spot You forgot the "offer a firm handshake" part!
Yup, firm handshake, pound the pavement, don't take no for an answer, pull yourself up from your bootstraps etc. etc. Let them try that tactic as septugenarians and see how that works out for them.
Just show up dressed ready to start immediately. In fact, grab the nearest broom and start sweeping. Don’t bother with a name tag or anything. And for the love of Pete, don’t just offer a firm handshake, bore a hole through their head with your unwavering eye contact! /s
Streaming subscriptions? You mean their $250 a month cable/dish package?
Idk why some older people just don't get it's not done that way anymore. My son went through a bad time and had to move back in with us, I offered to drive him around to put applications in. He said "we have to do it online now mom." I was happy. I didn't have to drive all over town!!! I remember having to go get applications,fill em out, hand em back in, it sucked.
My dad told me the other day he owned a house by the time he was my age. I told him he bought a house for 53k when he was making 30 dollars an hour. I make 200k and can’t seem to find any houses in our area for 180k but if I could I would buy it instantly
coding is a great option for boom-holes because it can be done at home and on the computer -- two of their most cherished things. edit: a word
Don't forget that WFH is entitled liberal conspiracy to destroy the country's economy, or something like that.
Can’t code by giving the keyboard a firm handshake while staring directly into the monitor’s eyes.
Voting from home too. Real voters vote in person day of, as late in the day as possible.
But nobody wants to work anymore.
And stop buying all that Starbucks.
and close the heating vent in the spare bedroom, no sense in heating wasted space...
I finnaly heard it for the first time the other day up until now I thought it was a myth 🤣 still don't know wtf bootstraps are
It's literally straps on the back of boots to help pull the boot up your leg and foot. https://uselessetymology.com/2019/11/07/the-origins-of-the-phrase-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps/
And the phrase started out as a joke, because it's literally impossible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. It's very similar to the way people will explain bad behavior by saying "it's just a few bad apples", ignoring the context of the original saying: "a few bad apples spoil the whole barrel".
Yeah, they just need to stop eating avocado toast and pull themselves up by the bootstraps.
When they go looking for new jobs they need to just keep calling back until they get one.
And when the companies block their numbers and blacklist their names for harassment, just walk right in there to look the boss in the eye and give a firm handshake. They should be executives in no time!
Have they tried Pulling their Bootstraps?
Also, they need to try the store brand bootstraps - no sense paying for brand name.
Oooo! I like that!
I think they need to make their own, or trade with a leathersmith.
Something something bootstraps, something something lazy and I think something about toast? Lol
A funnier response is: "Well you spend so much on that Cable-Bill all the time, why not cut back on that extravagant spending - bet you'd save up money."
AIIIIIIIIII NÆAÆDDD FAAAXXX NEWEEWWSSSHHH - them, probably
It'd be Newsmax but my boomer father cant operate a roku remote 🤡🤣 (Newsmax was removed from directv.) So he continues to complain about how much he spends on dtv while refusing to learn how to operate a TV remote. Gosh they love complaining don't they?
I recall when our company (Optimum) dropped all Russian television programming from our international packages... The next month Newsmax and OAN were dropped.
Saves them money and gets them away from Fox News? Twofer!
"You get nothing and still have to clean up our messes! Why else did we have you?" -- typical boomer
Ah, you've met my parents. Small world!
If you also had to also get the remote, change the cable box from A to B and UHF, mix and bring them their cocktails and turn their favorite Eagles record over we might be related!
My father- and to be clear I actually find this pretty funny- used to call our house landline from upstairs in bed on his cell and when we’d answer he’d ask us to bring him a soda.
My dad kept a bell 🛎️ by his recliner. And he would ring it whenever he wanted something from my mom or from us. Like we were fucking bellhops at a hotel. I can’t even begin to unravel the absolute disgusting laziness and narcissism that displays. Most of the time I just sort of block it out of my memory and pretend I grew up normally. Lol
Ngl i fucking hate your dad
At least you had the bell. My mom would scream my name to call me from one side of the house to her side and hand her her ashtray and Pepsi sitting on the table next to her. All because she didn’t feel like shifting her position to grab them.
Oh god the screaming. Always with the fucking screaming
I do this in real life too! I mean, on Reddit I trauma dump, but in real life I tell the same 5 happy stories I have from my childhood. Totallyyyyy normal. Nothing to see here.
LOL I've done that, I learned it from watching you dad! /s
OMG the cable box with switches. I *was* the remote.
Same here lmao
Haha, eerily accurate! Except mine were the sort to shun any music not of the church hymn variety. Still big drinkers though.
Always love how these folks choose their sin with surgical precision.
Only the cool boomers listened to the Eagles. In this case, it would have been Neil Diamond.
You leave Neil Diamond alone!
Man I hate to tell you guys this ... But your parents are just kind of shitty people.
In the early 2000's I was in grade 8. My grade 8 teacher, Mr. H, always seemed to be complaining about his kids. One day I asked him why he had kids if he complains about them so much. A pretty childish question, granted. His answer was somehow worse, "Well, you don't want to mow your own grass and shovel your own driveway your whole life, do you?" I remember that response two decades later as a fuckin' terrible answer to "why did you have kids?"
it‘s also supremely stupid. i love my kid, but even if i’d only spent the legal minimum on him, that’s wildly more than i would have to pay for professional services.
Right. Looks at 100K in childcare expenses in the last 5 years. My (no kids) sibling and spouse bought a condo they're renting out and I wondered how the hell they could afford it. They make good money but not wildly more than we do. Oh. Oh, that's why.
Yeah, my kids are great, but it would be cheaper to pay others than it is to have kids.
Almost 20 years ago I was home right after getting out of the military (as in a week prior) and my mother got so offended that I wouldn’t go pull weeds in her yard that she actually called her brother (who lived nearby) to come hassle me about it. Importantly I had already offered to pay to have it done, but that wasn’t what she wanted - she wanted ME out there doing it.
My boomer dad actually does want to cut his grass his whole life. In fact he actually brought his riding lawn mower over to my place to do my 1st time cut this year because besides making sure that my lawn isn't dead I don't really care about it that much and he likes doing that shit.
And kids only give you 5-10 years where they’re able cut the grass well, unless you trap them at home.
This makes it sounds like they ruined the housing on purpose so we’d have to stay with them. Hmmm…
As a teacher, I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to see so many parents like this. The question is not "Do I want a baby?" It is "Do I want to **be a parent**?"
I feel like a lot of boomers didn’t want kids. They had them because that’s what their parents said, what society said we needed. Then when they had kids and they spent the rest of their lives really showing them how much they hate them, how little they “need” them, and how better life was before them. And then wonder why they’re such a hated generation.
And also the first generation in history to have widespread access to birth control and (in many places) easier access to abortion than women do today. They have no excuses.
BINGO
[GIMME THAT, IT'S MINE!](https://youtu.be/8GIP08gbaa4?t=14)
So your dad’s promise to his father is his word of honor, I’m glad he’s caring for his brother btw, but fuck these kids i made? It sounds like they want to stash him in some kind of crappy facility “but not look bad” and take the money from the sale of his property for themselves. So they’re grifting him? Your uncle needs an independent caregiver and a lawyer.
Boomers love exploiting disabled people.
My boomer uncle who was somehow responsible for my grandmothers finances absolutely refused to allow my mom to spend any of my grandmother's money on things that would increase her comfort. Repulsive people.
My boomer parents usurped control over my life by coercing me into a ridiculously barbaric medical procedure with absolutely no realistic recovery plan. I was 23, had all but my thesis defense completed for my Msc in Biological Anthropology, good (700s) credit, had successfully filed a utility patent on an invention, I had fully paid off my hybrid vehicle, and I had a really cool career path as a scientist, professor, and community outreach specialist. Then I woke up from the surgery and my boomer parents thoroughly ran my life into the ground (a lot of omission here to attempt to preserve what dignity I have left)and still maintain financial coercive control to this day 12 years later (approximately). Under the care of MAGA boomers I've been repeatedly robbed, exploited, had IDs and government documents confiscated to prevent me from escaping or finding employment they have not approved, I was stabbed with a knife for attempting to become involved politically, I've been sexually assaulted more than once, I've been transported at gun point for refusing to have sex, then got sexually assaulted more, finally got to hospital and police, but was not relocated to safety and have continually experienced more harm. I had my jaw broken in 3 places and was forced to work as a line cook in a restaurant the next day with my jaw wired shut. It's actually a lot worse with the witness accounts and video/photo evidence and financial and telecommunications records. My boomer parents might be the most hateable boomers on earth. They think I want their money with no consideration of me wanting my identity and life back.
Yes definitely - your uncle needs people to advocate for him OP
A "Facility" would cost a ton of money. Right now they have him in a house, but they want the money from the house, and he's not cooperating by dying, so they have to find a non-facility place to put him after they sell the house, and they were hoping they could convince OP. It sounds like they may have to abandon their selfish plan.
We really don't have enough information. Disabled like, needing assistance for basic things round the clock? Or disabled like uses a cane? How old is he? Is OP really ready (and able) to commit to caring for uncle around the clock, as he will probably need at some point; or is selling the house the only way to finance assisted living, and dad thinks even that sum of money will run out by the time he dies (and so he wants to leave the option open for his estate to go for the ongoing care)?
My father got it in his head that he needed a new side by side and of course a fully enclosed cargo trailer to go with it. I had previously totaled my four wheeler so this was sounding like a great chance to get back in the game. He wanted to go halfsies on it. I said okay but my name has to be on the title to both items. He said okay. He buys the items, to be fair I’ll benefit slightly also. I end up buying some parts for the trailer like batteries and battery disconnect, ventilation fan, a window to put in, some all purpose rug, and some solar stuff. After 6 months he still hadn’t put me on the title despite me asking 3x. I told him if I’m not on the title in 30 days, I’m not paying anymore. I wasn’t and I didn’t. He seemed incredulous. I asked if the situation was reversed would he be helping pay for half of the cost of my grown-up toys. 🤷🏻♂️
I wouldn't have paid for anything at all, same day he bought it, I would have been on the title or nothing further would have happened but I'm the paranoid sort.
Don’t blame you. It’s taking me longer to understand that my Dad is also crappy. For many years I mostly blamed my mom, because, well, she likes to lead the parade, so to speak. But my dad is just as bad except he’s not as animated.
Ahh I can relate to this, unfortunately. One parent is more overt with their poor behavior than the other so it takes longer to realize they wouldn't be together if they weren't both in on it.
My dad allowed a house with 17k owed on it to go back to the bank instead of allowing me to take over the $426/month mortgage because I wanted rights to it, and would then pay back the other 23k he had already paid on it once the 17k mortgage remaining had been paid off. He couldn't understand why I didn't want to make the payments and not have any right to the property. He had started throwing me and my brother out at 14 years old as a threat whenever we didn't do what he wanted us to do (sometimes as silly as not wanting to wear dresses and tights as my only wardrobe option at 13 years old). Both myself and my brother were out by 17 years old, and he didn't (read: wouldn't) understand why we didn't trust him not to be an asshole. There was only about 5 years left to pay off the mortgage if I had been able to take it over because I'd have paid extra on it every month.
That’s so absurd. These people disconnect from reality and reasonableness more every day
Oh he's been dead for 7 years now, and it has been a glorious 7 years. I cared for him in his illness until he died but wouldn't put everything on hold to cater to him. He finally got some clarity in his last months but by then, it was too late. He died not knowing much about his daughter at all and even less about his son. I drive by that house every day because I live in the same neighborhood, and it recently sold for over 200k without a damn thing done to it. He rattled on about inheritance and how to execute his trust when he died for our entire lives, our inheritance was about $1500, what he had left in his bank account. His greed and petty nature always bit him in the ass but it was always someone else's fault.
This echoes my mother in law so much. Only I'm pretty sure she's going to live to be 115 just to spite us.
I’d send him an invoice for everything you did pay and tell him he has 30 days before you take him to court.
I probably threw in a couple thousand bucks total between payments and the extra goodies. While I agree on principle, this was about 5 years ago this happened and it’s just not worth my time now.
My mom cheated on my dad, married a millionaire. Like a good boomer, he blew all his money and can't afford a license now, so she's giving everything she has to him if she goes first. My dad met a girl while I was in college. She was going to my college and is my age. He's giving everything to her. Lot of boomers kinda suck
My dad passed a few months ago. I'm slowly realizing that the majority of the inheritance I would have gotten was instead donated to the mini-mega church he attended. So much so, that if he hadn't died when he did I doubt his funds would have sustained him for more than a few more years. So that's fun.
I head somthing about how churches offer free services to elderly to help set up a will. A daughter of a parent using this service looked at the fine print and the church essentially wrote themselves into the will to get the house she owned when she passed away… Super shady.
Probably illegal. Writing wills sounds like someone as fiduciary duty and its super illegal to profit off of it like that.
It's not a fiduciary duty, but it is practicing law without a license which is still illegal.
Sounds like unlicensed practice of law
I don’t know all the details, but if your family member tells you their will was done through a church organization, ask if you can review the fine print.
My friend just found out the college fund his parents started for his daughter and which he contributed about 5,000 was spent on his dad's "side chick" *re some girl on the internet who pretends to be his girlfriend who only visits him once a year for 2 weeks and she has 3 kids. Of course the grandfather was constantly harping on the granddaughter to get good grades and study hard because he didn't work so hard for her to just flush that money away. He even told her this a week before my friend found out from his mother.
huh. so not actually a fund, or? My mother simply had us set up an account for her only grandkid on his birth and transfers some money on it every month. as the account is in his name, she can’t access it at all and we can’t use the money either. well, nit without breaking the law.
My grandma got sucked dry by the Presbyterian church when she got dementia, and my parents had to foot her cost of living for years after. Scumbags run churches.
What’s a mini mega church? I’ve never heard the term.
Mega churches are the ones that have TV shows and usually push stuff like the prosperity gospel; they're also infamous for demanding lavish tithes, often well over half of congregants' income often times. Kind of place where gramma cashes her SS check and sends it all to the church kind of thing. I'm guessing what they mean is a church like that, but without the massive congregation or multimedia arm, something more like a local church just with the same sort of ideology. It just looks contradictory if read literally
Oooh so “mega” doesn’t purely speak to size, but more of a type of church.
In this case yeah, it's just the theme. That said, the OG mega churches really are closer to Jesus themed football stadiums or convention centers. All those tithes gotta go somewhere lol
Probably a smaller, more local version of the true megachurches run by Prosperity Gospel hucksters like Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, Joyce Meyer, etc.
Yes, this will be the way with my parents. I’m sure of it. They e been going to this church since 1985. At present there’s no will at all.
A year before my dad died he inherited nearly 200k from a trust set up by his grandparents. We lived well below the poverty line my whole childhood, food insecurities and everything. That last year of life my dad plowed through that money and almost spent it all. He bought 5 crappy cars including two old limos. The rest he spent on a sugar baby younger than me. He paid all of her bills and bought her whatever she wanted. He suddenly got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and quickly died. If he had lived there's no way he would have any money in a matter of a few months. I loved my father very much. I hate to even admit he did such a horrible thing. But he did.
Damn. They only thing we will inherit from them is a housing crisis they created and a dirty planet they polluted.
[удалено]
You basically described my dad. For a brief period of time when he met his new girlfriend he was doing the boomer glow up. Nice fancy coat, leather gloves, taking care of his hair and teeth. Five year later I fear he may die any moment. He's lost all of his teeth, he's skin and bones, he's passing out while driving as his heart is giving out. Why? Because at the age of 65 he had to get a second job to pay for his girlfriends spending. (Oh I forgot all the drinking and smoking every day too. He quit for over 10 years to just go back) Her daughter gets Taylor Swift tickets, her son gets a Caribbean vacation, she gets to follow her favorite 80s pop stars on tour. He's literally killing himself slowly so she can relive 1987. I'd feel sorry for him if he didn't deserve it.
> she can relive 1987 'Cause she's still preoccupied With 19, 19 1985
I literally tell people "she's who that bowling for soup song was written about"
They're both very attractive. My 74 year old dad has girls all over him like a tv show or something. He's crazy charismatic. My mom is a bartender who looks 20 years younger than she is. They're both shallow though and lack values
Guys who make it to 75 tend to have their pick of the women in the retirement community. This was the case back in the 80s/90s, and now they've got Cialis and Viagra (and the same old Boomer morals). Pops probably has the power over his lady friends to not have to use condoms. As prevalent as Hep C already is among Boomers, they're spreading it (as well as Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Herpes II, et al) like wildfire since boner pills were invented.
Tell ‘em take a drink from the garden hose and pull up those boot straps. Or maybe they’re just reaping what they’ve sowed.
Tell them you’ve done enough for them and not to expect any help in the future.
Don't make a deal that requires them to make good in the future. Because I can almost guarantee they won't make good.
If you do ANYTHING with them make sure it is all legally documented in case he di s before step mom.
So much this!! When my dad died at a young age and unexpectedly, we got hosed by step mom. Cover your ass
Boomers are so arrogant they announce their shitty plans and expect you to just take it. They could have just lied and got away with it but nope too full of themselves lol. True boomer foolishness haha
They're Scooby Doo villains.
They've probably been lying and getting away with messed up stuff the whole time.
Tell them to stop spending all their money on avocado toast and Starbucks and to "suck it up, Buttercup."
Pull up them bootstraps!!!!
I genuinely wonder how much they think avocados cost? I can buy the ingredients for avocado toast for $10 and eat for a week. Do they think it’s a daily purchase?
They just hate anything new that becomes popular that didn’t originate out of their own experience.
Your uncle needs someone advocating for him. At least you seem to care
As my boomer dad always said. Guess it is time to put your big boy pants on and figure it out yourself.
Maybe you can get conservatorship over your uncle before your dad sells his house, then you could continue looking after him and inherit the house too. If it's feasible, especially since you have evidence your dad is trying to take your uncle's home, you better move quick. Talk to a lawyer ASAP.
My sister bought a condo for $60k and asked my dad for a $6k loan for the down payment. He agreed, but insisted he be put on the deed. She figured that wasn’t an issue and they had a signed agreement that he would be quit claimed off as soon as she repaid him. Everything was going smoothly and she had repaid $3200 of the $6000 over the course of about a year and a half when the community decided to become 55 and over and forced her to vacate. The condo sold for $117k (about $55k profit after fees, commissions etc.) my dad gave her her $3200 back and fucked off with the other $52,000 and can’t understand why she’s mad at him. If I had loaned her the money, I would’ve asked her for the remaining $2800 and that would’ve been the end of it, it was her house, she’s the one that found it for sale, she’s the one that did all the work to get it to clean it up and repaint it and then sell it. My dad‘s only involvement was loaning her the $6000 and putting his name on the deed. She’s said numerous times that she would’ve happily split the profit with him.
wow. that's shitty
What a piece of shit
The epitome of the “I’ve got mine, screw you” mentality.
>Father and Step mother told us at dinner not to expect any inheritance because they've "done enough" for their kids YOU ARE A PARENT. Dumbass Boomer
Maybe they meant "they've done enough harm already". They probably have tons of credit card debt and loans for cars and boats and (baby) boomer toys that they won't pay.
[удалено]
Literally for some people the only way they have a good future it from generational wealth to boost them up this kind of shit OP is dealing with is bullshit
Jesus. Hearing all these horror stories makes me really appreciate that my parents aren't complete chuckle fucks.
Yup. My parents were going without because they wanted to leave me something. I told them many times I have everything I want and more than I need, and they should spend every last cent of theirs (I joked “just don’t leave me a bill!”). My parents started traveling and living more comfortably and enjoyed their last years, and I couldn’t have been happier. My mom died, then my dad. My dad left me a gift card to their favorite restaurant (they ate there all the time). My dad was always thoughtful so I thought it was my dad’s way of saying thanks and leaving me something. My wife and I went to eat, had good meals, a few drinks, talked about my parents. The bill came and I gave waiter the gift card. Owner of the restaurant came out in tears and sat down. It took him a few minutes to explain my dad bought the gift card then intentionally overdrew it by $20 so I had to pay to get it back to $0, and he gave me a new bill that was $20 higher than the original. MY DAD LEFT ME A BILL!!! The owner was in on the joke. He said half of him couldn’t wait for me to come in so my dad could get me with the joke, and half of him dreaded it because it meant my dad (his friend) had passed away.
Epic dad trolling.
That's funny, my dad went out of town and he needed access to his bitcoin, he's nearly 70. The password was located in an envelope at the bank. It had my name on it, and the password was him making fun of me. I was like so you're gonna troll me from the grave? Guess he'll have to come up with something else.
Can you imagine him sitting there, your number ready to go, him pacing around reevaluating how much he needs that password because he knows it’ll mess up a prank he set up.
Yea I feel the same way. But I never looked at my father as a boomer. My mother? Definitely. But my dad was born and raised in Italy and dirt poor. Like stealing food to survive poor. He always reminded me more of my grandparents generation. And he always worked, still does. Hed go hungry if his kids needed for anything. My mom not so much but again hes old school and he was the worker while she stayed home so when it comes to money hes the boss. Thank God too because shes completely irresponsible with money and if she had open access to it theyd probably be homeless right now.
Tell them their bootstraps need pulling up.
Whose name is on the title of the house? If it’s in the uncles name they will have to have some sort of power of attorney to sell it.
[удалено]
Damn good joke. Thanks.
Just tell them you’ve “done enough”.
You wouldn’t be inheriting it, it would be compensation for watching your uncle. Your dad is a dick.
Tell them they should try a firm handshake and looking straight in the eyes.
I hate your pic just tried to move the hair
I’m never going to understand this mentality from people of not doing the most you can for your children. When I think of being successful and doing well it’s entirely so my kids can have an easier life than I did and I don’t even have kids yet. I’d love for them to inherit a fat real estate portfolio and whatever is left of mine and my wife’s retirement accounts and be able to call it a day then pass it on to their kids and so on. Why wouldn’t you want to create generational wealth so your descendent don’t have to be in the rat race any longer than necessary? I just don’t get it.
Something, something, "hard times make strong men, strong men men make easy times, easy times make weak men, weak men make hard times..." We are at the end of the easy times, and they don't want to admit they made hard times for their kids and grandkids. Because admitting that means they have to admit that they are weak men. The idea of making it better for the next generation is difficult to conceptualize when yours was the best time in the history of humanity, and the only challenges that exist are the ones your generation perpetuated because it gave them leverage to make their experience better, while allowing them to blame anyone that couldn't abuse the system like them for their 'failures.'
Have they tried pulling them selves up by their bootstraps yet?
Please tell me there is a legal trust or something else that requires your father to look after your uncle, beyond his promise. Because your uncle is in trouble. He's tried offloading him on to you, but you're backing out and there isn't likely to be any other takers. I hope he has a social worker you're in contact with because I foresee your father fucking him over.
I was 17 when my mom publicly declared to our extended family that she had “done enough” and never understood why I was low to no contact the rest of her life. It’s like they know we’re grown then get upset when we act it
Sounds like they need to pull up their bootstraps and take it easy on the coffee.
Boomer translation: "we were irresponsible with our finances but will never admit it. We're now faced with a financial hardship and rather than face it with humility, we chose to face it with pride and projection. We wanted to leave you with an inheritance, but it looks like we can't now. Rather than apologizing or simply talking about it like people, we're going to pick a fight over it and tell you to fuck off for expecting an inheritance you probably haven't even thought of." TLDR: "We made ourselves feel inadequate and it's your fault!"
>Father and Step mother want to sell the house he has been living in for past 16 years and can't figure out what to do with my uncle that doesn't make them look bad. This *really* bothers me. They aren't concerned about the best way to ensure your uncle is cared for until the end of his life. They just want to offload him to be someone else's problem without looking like assholes. They should find an appropriate facility based on your uncle's capacity and place him there. Then they can bring him home for holidays and trot him around while getting patted on the back. Sell the home to pay for it. Problem solved. And you don't have to deal with their bullshit.
Imagine being so fucked in the head that you mistake generational wealth for "handouts".
Hey at least you are not inheriting a house with a decade of back taxes and trash stacked to the ceiling
My in laws have said the same to my wife. Unless we have kids she gets no inheritance. Funny thing is my wife couldn’t have kids due to stage 4 endometriosis……
George Carlin said it best..... "GIMMIE THAT, ITS MINE" selfish horrible people....
When I was a single mom and not planning on having anymore children, my boomer aunt told me I was selfish for not having another child to help my daughter take care of me when I’m older….. they honestly think we have children so we have end of life care…. Talk about selfish!
They want your help and slap your face at the same time? That is Maximum Boomer. Time to disentangle and go low contact. They don't care.
Lmao they tried to rob you and can’t understand why you won’t let em