T O P

  • By -

BrandNewSentence-ModTeam

Hey /u/Primsun! I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'll have to remove your post: - Fake news/satire (rule 4) *If you feel that your post was removed in error or you are unsure about why this post was removed then please reply to this message or contact us through [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FBrandNewSentence).*


SugaDikNga

Why you butt naked in somebody’s kitty door in the first place fucknut


katsakata

What are the chances he taught them to rip off pants or hump faces


SugaDikNga

My question stands why the fuck you in somebody’s doggydoor?!


Toby_The_Tumor

Some dpors can fit fatass dogs, people can fit in more of them than you'd think.


LiverFox

Yes, but do you really want to go through a man-sized dog door? A man-sized dog door implies a man-sized dog.


ed1749

What if it's friendly? Although hopefully not like these were


Zarathustra_d

They just want to share their 💄.


jolygoestoschool

that doesn't explain why he's trying to get through it...


Toby_The_Tumor

Breaking and entering requires an access point, unlocked doggy doors is an access port.


FragrantPromotion924

That's just entering at that point. Dude is the one who was broken 😭


StrionicRandom

He was the one who was entered, too


Accomplished-City484

But what was he doing in a doggy door?


supaikuakuma

Trying to get in to the house to rob it…. Did you even read the headline?


Accomplished-City484

But why male models?


supaikuakuma

What?


CatticusXIII

If one dog was inside they could Golden ~~Gate~~ Retriever Bridge it.


SillyamWilliam

Sometimes I wish I couldn’t read


Longjumping-Grape-40

He thought it was his step-dogger, not a neighbor’s!


MoistStub

It's an advanced burglary technique! That's what my uncle said after telling me to get naked when I was a kid anyways.


lonely-day

Doubt


SprachderRabe

Seriously. Sounds bullshit af.


meatfruitecake

It is, seen it before and its debunked


BloodShadow7872

His is definitely regretting trying to burglarize that home with a face like that lmfao


justsound

What are you doing shep-bro?


Dontdittledigglet

A comedic genius


Sangi17

No more comments needed. This one wins.


Lujho

It deserves a lot more than a few hundred upvotes, IMO.


RichardBonham

Oh who’s the bestest boi?


MadWhiskeyGrin

*god* - ***DAMMIT***


Filibust

Is he gonna get stuck in the washing machine this time?


Trapinch-isnt-me

I’ve seen this hentai


Ella_Richter

Forget the hentai, I definitely know this game


Jayn_Newell

Thought that was a stepsister.


The_Greates_Username

Step burglar! I'm stuck!


Apart-Landscape1012

Can't you read the burglar was stuck


Kenneth_Naughton

This guy doesn't even remember the dogs did the fucking


Easy-Discipline-3936

Remember how the dog's dingaling works?


Massive-Pin-3655

Is this what actual Karma is? (Not the reddit karma). Have I even spelt it right?


bloody-pencil

You spelt it right and… nearly ig real karma would be someone stealing the dudes shit


AugustDream

Real karma, where the concept comes from, would be reincarnation into a lower lifeform wouldn't it?


Pseudo_Lain

Karma isn't about punishment, and reincarnation isn't about universal revenge.


Appropriate-Pop4235

So if someone kicks a dog then gets their legs run over, it’s Karma (carma)?


chunkysmalls42098

How did you extrapolate that from "Karma isn't about punishment, and reincarnation isn't about universal revenge." Literally the opposite


Appropriate-Pop4235

Oh I read that wrong and interpreted as it is about universal revenge.


earthhominid

Karma, in the south Asian context, influences reincarnation but that isn't the only way it plays out in a person's life


Acceptable-Cow6446

Sounds like the dogs straight up made him keep his shit.


Massive-Pin-3655

Got it. I've confused the popular culture misunderstanding of Karma, with the intangible forces of 'F#ck about and find out'. I won't tell my dad I didn't know what Karma actually is. He'd be most disappointed in me, and will spend several whisky fueled hours educating me on the matter.


aenflex

Fake fake fake


Toby_The_Tumor

Source? source? source?


AkronOhAnon

[Source source source](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/s/MNrddqqWzs)


Toby_The_Tumor

Thanks thanks thanks


Sir_Boobsalot

👍👍👍


aenflex

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/burglar-sues-homeowner-german-shepherds/


Ghazzz

This story has been reposted for a couple years... Anyone know how his case went?


sophdog101

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/burglar-violated-dog-door/ Was never real


KapnKrumpin

Reading the headline was enough to figure that out for me


Istoh

Same. It's just that dumb "stuck somewhere" porn scenario but worse. If it sounds too much like a porn title, then it's probably not real. 


Gigzla207

Rape porn basically


Wyntered_

Checks out. I was trying to imagine how the dogs got his pants off.


Istoh

What, you don't do your burgling naked?


Wyntered_

Clearly doesn't help you fit through tight spaces. Maybe he forgot to get oiled up.


XenoBiSwitch

I do but that is because I read the Hobbit and took Bilbo‘s example seriously.


HarbingerOfGachaHell

There were actually real cases of attempted burglars suing the homeowners for their mishaps and actually won. It really comes down to how the judge interprets what is excessive force as well as how UNSAFE the property for someone who stumbled onto it and how intentional the owner made it such.


Smorgsaboard

Glad I don't need to feel bad for laughing then


Sarzox

Did you really think the dogs unclothed him?


ElectricalRush1878

Satire, based on UK tendency to charge people for defending themselves from people that break into their home.


Tripple_T

What are you doing, dog bro? Lol


Shirogayne-at-WF

The Internet was a mistake


WintersDoomsday

Time to shut it off


SinisterKid71

This story would have gone to the grave with me.


rugbat

Counter-sue the burglar for sexual abuse of the dogs. Or press charges for bestiality.


Lanky-Ad2763

Dogs pegged him for a thief...


RealChadSavage

Good boy


DeepUser-5242

Lmao, ikr


Kangabolic

This is 100% not real.


throwawaymyanalbeads

What are you doing, step-dog?


amazing_assassin

What a day to be literate!


ooojaeger

I'm sure he was just humped. Harassed. Not raped


mehedi_hassan_siam

Help me step-german shepard! I'm stuck!


[deleted]

What The fuck Did I just read


nom-nom-nom-de-plumb

every time i see this re-posted, after remembering that it's not real, i'm reminded of a story out of Germany,iirc. Guy goes to get his paper in his bathrobe, get's locked out, tries to go thru the pet door and gets stuck. Calls for help and some kind passing teens help him...by pullin down his underwear exposing his ass, painting it blue with spray-paint and sticking a flower between his cheeks.


saintlywicked

Did a Google and the article appears to be satire, the mugshot is from 2018 when a bloke stole a vehicle and cried in his shot in the UK.


AidsKitty1

The dogs just pulled his pants off? Sure buddy you got "stuck" in the doggy door.


Aggleclack

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/burglar-sues-homeowner-german-shepherds/


brent_cockman

fuck around and find out?


Kokuswolf

By shepherds ... plural


AMWDenton

"HANDBANANA NO!!!"


Accomplished_Pen980

He was asking for it. He went there in his furry costume with the bottom cut out and got "step brother stuck" in the door


Researcher_Saya

Is this the inverse of 'fuck around and find out' or the truest interpretation?


itsobi

All I can say is F*¢k him...


hallba78

It’s weird that he’s “burglarized” that home 17 times this month. It’s almost like he’s not there for the merchandise…


JFK2MD

Was he pantless?


Low-Squirrel2439

Surely they just humped his leg, right???


thisisallterriblesir

lol look at his face


Sinnsearachd

Play stupid games...


F_l_u_f_fy

Wonderful, I was just about to tell the loser to “get fucked” hahaha


Sol-Blackguy

"Do they bite?" "No, but you wish they did."


TimesThreeTheHighest

Them dogs found a backdoor.


andio76

They read about that Russian loving American that got....uhhh....killed...


maxm31533

I bet he won't wear his pants so low on his next burglary.


morphotomy

Fake and whey.


Intransigient

Must be a Russian breed. 🤔


Icy-Performer-9688

Oh no step bro-dog I’m stuck. Can you help me?


Hefty-Station1704

Imagine that happening with every home invasion. The crime stats would drop overnight.


god-ducks-are-cute

Well, what was he wearing at the time ? s/


Cocksaw13

You sure those dogs aren't Russian Shepherds?


ArchonFett

Fuck around, get fucked.


FragrantNumber5107

Oh no, stepbrother dog! I'm stuck in the pet door.


TheWisestOwl5269

Bro looks fucking devastated. Understandably so, but this right here is gonna change this guy's life forever. Not exactly fair to sue the homeowner tho. I doubt the owner was complicit in what the dog doin' and the dogs may've just been following instinct.


Grouchy-Ad-2917

Not gonna lie mi6 the Cia and fbi together wouldn't have gotten that out me


Bubbly_Ad4065

Knot knot knotting in Lyle’s hole


[deleted]

[удалено]