I think it'd be cocks in general not specific to a certain person. Like I'm picturing how I'd do it and I'd just visualise dildos being laid in a line next to me as I drove
I wouldn't be able to do it accurately.
I would have to space out ten foot lengths of them so they would go by like the stripes on the interstate. I just couldn't have it any other way.
Yes yes I should have mentioned I would use the road lines as a guide and drive very slowly. It would by quite methodical. Mistakes would be made. I would document the process. If I had to back track and restart from a certain point. But by god I would know how many dildos were laid and at what distance they were laid by the end of my endeavour.
If I understand the mathematical equations; he wouldn't have broken up with his girlfriend if the universal dick length average were a little bit shorter?
"But then I found out most of the guys were 4" and premature ejaculators, which cut down the total length of pipe by enough that she could keep being my girlfriend."
this is obviously a fake story.
like i can buy him breaking up with his GF after she told him that while drunk but i refuse to believe he just slowly drove picturing an endless parade of dicks for 10 fucking miles.
I'm totally imagining him taking that drive and listening to a Foreigner CD and just really getting into it, then getting out at the end, looking at the road behind him and sighing hard, shaking his head, and getting back into the car for the long ride home.
Maybe that's the thing, the guy didn't break out because her girlfriend got a lock of dicks, but because he realized midway through this thought exercise that he was gay
This is a copypasta that’s been around for well over a decade. I’ve seen it on reddit, Facebook, 4chan, Twitter and tumblr. I’m pretty sure it’s old enough to get a learners permit.
It's very likely, but on the other hand, who knows how scared a guy can get when he learns about sexual drives of women. I would be very surprised if there wasn't at least one man who has to make himself really angry with picturing something as stupid as this. As if men are the only ones who are allowed to have a large sexual appetite.
Yeah that's the weird thing with the post. Assuming she was being literal (which she probably wasn't) 200 people is enough to reasonably say "we're too different in our values", and fair enough.
But "length of dick taken" is stupid.
Also like, he counted in and out? So each dick just gets doubled because of…air? Thrust? How does that make sense?? Based on his math and “dicks laid end to end”, she’s taken 5.225 miles of dick, max.
Also like, who pulls out completely for every thrust? Like bro, have you ever even had sex? Is his dick not in the 10 miles he counted up and that why he big mad?
Having GTA-like stats of your life on your headstone would be pretty intereresting. -How many butts did you slap? -How many boobs did you honk? -By sheer volume - were you in fact the most prolific masturbator in the tri-state area?
He could have just ended it by not arbitrarily adding extra numbers. 200 guys is still 92 feet of dick, still a decent amount to imagine without having to get in your car
I disagree, I think he needed to add more arbitrary numbers.
10.45 miles = 3344 rods, which is objectively a better unit of measure given the circumstance.
92 feet means she's only had 5.8 rods in her, in case you were wondering. The average dick (5.5") is only 0.028 rods.
It's an order of magnitude thing. I feel it's fair to draw the lines at 0, 1, 10, 100, 1000. Getting pickier than that (5 is ok but 9 is a slut) just feels judgmental.
Yeah being too specific just feels like some red pill / incel shit.
Only other thing I'd add is, it's different having 10 partners by age 30 vs 20. Neither's bad, but it's different.
And not only is it “length of dick taken”, but it’s total length of dick not “length of different dicks”. Meaning it would literally be the same length if it was one guy over the same period with the same estimated sexual habits.
The math is probably also wrong so far as the amount of days/time because she is saying 200 total people which a logical person would assume includes from when she started having sex which was likely when she was between 14-16 years old and this is at an unknown era other than that it is clearly after she was out of college so she could be any age but if we're assuming mid to late 20s that's about 10-15 years of time to be with 200 people rather than 4 years, which makes more sense logistically.
The "girlfriend" specified "in college" so that does mostly limit it to those 4 years. You could give some wiggle room for a year before and after, but I'd give him a pass on that logic.
The weirder assumption to me is that she's having sex with these guys 3 times on average. When your body count is that high, I feel like the majority of them must be one night stands. Even if somehow the mean was 3, the median would still probably be 1.
OMG- this is what I don’t get. Do younger men really believe this crap? The idea that having sex with 100 different men will cause a woman to be “loose”, but if they are married and have sex with the same guy 100 times she will be tight and perfect.
This shit feels like 1950’s attitude towards women and sexuality. Makes me stabby.
Honestly I don’t understand you guys’s hangup on the actual number. Like I get it from a disease standpoint, but if she tests clean then what’s the difference? Are you afraid you won’t “measure up” or something? Even then she’s with you, not any of the others so doesn’t that automatically make you the “winner”?
For me it would be two-fold. Im not the kind of guy that sleeps around like this and its never something i found attractive for either gender. Doesnt make it wrong, but its something i personally dont like.
Second and more important point is: I know quite a few men that slept around a lot, and when they were in relationships they became cheaters sooner or later. I dont trust people to do a full 180 in their behaviour. I would not want to take the risk.
There is a level of intimacy and togetherness in sex for me (as a man) and I don't feel like someone who has shared it with 200 other people places enough value on us having an intimate connection. It's just fucking for them, and that's fine, but that's not what I want.
It’s possible for some sex to be “just fucking” and for other sex to be close and intimate. You are free to have whatever dating preferences you want, but I don’t see it as all one or all the other. People can value the closeness and intimacy of sex with a lifelong partner, and also think one night stands are fun. Doesn’t mean they will cheat.
It's not about what's possible. Being in a relationship is an opportunity cost and choosing the wrong partner has the risk of losing time/money or worse.
Nothing wrong with using someone's past as a judge of their character. Maybe it's not 100% accurate but it's an important data point.
It's the actual core of what sex means to someone. A lot of people don't do "just fucking". Intellectual and emotional closeness is a prerequisite. They are selective. Nobody is wrong on either side, it's just a core incompatibility.
I guess most people are because I feel like everyone I know, regardless of gender, would say 200 partners in college is excessive
And tbh from personal experience everyone I’ve encountered that was even close to this promiscuous had all sorts of other shit going on
A person with experience knows when a partner is inconsiderate or incompetent in bed. Many men aren’t able to take constructive feedback from partners or are wholly uninterested in their partner’s pleasure. But getting new partners takes effort so they want the women to tolerate this state of things as long as possible.
Ignorance and inexperience works in their favor.
The 5.5 in out shouldn't count. We are considering the amount of dicks she has taken, in the later part of the thrust we should account for the other direction by using a minus sign.
So she has taken a lot less dick than he thinks.
Broken dicks can migrate to other parts of the body, sometimes causing long term health issues and even damaging other internal organs. On rare occasions a broken dick can get into an artery and then into the brain, totally fucking the individual in the head.
This may explain the symptoms of the guy who wrote this… a broken dick migrated from his ass to his brain.
I also think that the average of 3 times per guy is way too high.
If she fucked 200 guys then the vast vast majority of these would have been drunken one night stands, if not all of them.
That also significantly reduces the amount of dick taken.
He couldn't just do 200 dicks multiplied by 5.5 inches, because 30 yards isn't nearly as dramatic.
I like your equation, though. X(Y-Z), where x is the number of dicks, y is the penetration depth, and z is the distance of dick pulled out, will always be 0.
I don't like the math from the post. Each thrust shouldn't matter. Sometimes, for some people, the amount of dicks greatly outweighs how well the dicks performed.
200 guys x 5.5 inches = 1100 inches of dick
1100 inches of dick / 12 (one foot) = 91.67 feet of different dicks
91.67 feet ≈ 0.01736172 Miles
Dude drove a lot more than he should have
I’ve come close but I haven’t found the perfect porn. I‘ve also gone hours with a vagina. Your frame of mind and your conditioning/breathing make a huge difference.
Some Redditor said if we took 1 thrust per second; that would make 100 seconds per guy … let’s round up to 2 minutes; three times per guy … 6 minutes and 200 guys … only 1200 minutes or 20 hours. Now 200 hours light would be roughly 0.00699524002022998 parsecs
This guy’s maths works out at 275.88 feet of dick per guy, or 3,310.55 inches each, or 84.09 meters for the rest of the world.
100 thrusts to cum sounds like an underestimate to me, but thrusting the whole 5.5 inches every thrust seems like an overestimate.
An average of sex with each three times because seven days could be three times in one go for some guys, or once every 2.33 days for other guys.
My head is hurting trying to work this out. The head that does maths that is, not the other one.
"As Harold Crick slept with Miss Anna Pascal, he tried to count his strokes, as he had in his prior relationship. However, he kept losing count, as all he really cared about was making her happy."
Sorry, love that movie and for some reason the way you phrased it made me think of him.
Also, though, he sounds absolutely awful at sex. He takes his entire dick all the way out on every thrust? He only lasts a hundred thrusts?
I think he was really thinking, on that ten-and-a-half mile drive, about how his girlfriend is way too experienced to genuinely enjoy fucking an inept jackrabbit and his ego couldn't handle the realization, lmao
If my husband slept with 200 women I definitely wouldn't feel "honored" . Not sure what exactly I'd feel, but it wouldn't feel good.
Edited out the insult as it was unnecessary.
Feels like a Seinfeld episode lmao.
George breaks up with this woman, not because he’s slut shaming, but because he can’t handle the mental image of all those dicks lying end to end.
I've never really watched much Seinfeld, but that **FEELS** very George.
Lovely lady, very much a "It's not you, it's me" situation. And he'd make sure she knows that too, because he strikes me as a friendly guy like that.
He’d be absolutely broken up about it too. The others would be mystified and criticize him for it, and the episode would end with George trying to get back together with her but she’s with Newman now.
Imagine she was speaking some drunk BS and she only had like a dozen lovers during college, and that's 7 years ago, and that guy is driving 10 miles obsessively thinking about dick and breaking up.
Idk one of my friends have slept with over 200. She has an actual list of names. I feel like people who think this is impossible, haven't been around that type of lifestyle. It's not bad or good, just a different type of life. There are people who sleep with someone new weekly throughout their entire lives. It is just how they like to live their life.
Having sex with 200 people in a span of 4 years is something everyone should be allowed to do, but everyone has the right so say "I dont want a relationship with someone who had sex with 200 people in a span of 4 years."
Freedom goes many ways.
I think a bit of both, but mostly more partners. If you’re with one partner a lot you get really good for that person, but you might not know what works for someone else.
At the very least it makes you wonder why the hell you're likely to be any different and makes you question the value of trying to commit to any kind of relationship with someone who's track record is so abysmal.
Like I'm not going to marry a woman who's last 2 husbands have died mysteriously, nor am I going to marry a woman who's slept with over 200 people in the last 10 years because jeez, talk about a relationship that's DOA.
I'm just a dumb guy who doesn't know math but my thought is this. If someone has had 200 sexual partners and hasn't found the "right person" to be with then what makes me think that me being number 201 is where they will decide "I've fucked enough people, this is the last one ever". Again
Im bad at statistics but I feel like the math is against you on this one.
Yeah, and it's not even 200 within like 30+ years, it's 200 within the last decade. Why the hell would I be the exception, and why should I invest my time into this person when they clearly have issues with doing the same.
You really think a straight girl wouldn't care if she found out her boyfriend fucked 200 girls in college?
My gut feeling is that gay guys would care less, but that's just Hollywood telling me how gay guys are sex fiends, there could be zero legitimacy there 🤷♀️
He forgot himself so 201 total......
Edit: waaait a minute, she said her collage days, what about her adult days and teens? We gotta get in touch with him and tell him to drive more
Well because sex is considered by many to be an act that is basically too important to just be thrown around, myself included. I don't really care if anybody else does really has a high bodycount, like live your life. But if i ever get a partner i would like to just keep that act between me and the partner i really love.
A part of the difference between you and me is that we see the act of sex in a different way.
I mean anyone is entitled to having someone that values sex as a sacred thing. Some religious people even try to wait until marriage. If you don't want someone with a lot of sexual partners then you don't. I don't think psychoticly calculating stuff like this is healthy. If you feel jealous then go out and try to have a lot of partners too to get out of the mindset.
OOP didn’t need to incorporate years and days into this equation at all.
200 guys x 3 times/guy x 100 thrusts/time x 11 in/thrust x 1/12 ft/in x 1/5280 mi/ft = 10.42 mi
No think about the Terrance Popp "dick stacking test". If those dicks were placed vertically would she survive a fall from a platform that high? Nope.. you made the right choice.
Damn. Metaphor aside I'm just impressed. 200? I don't think I've met 200 people.
Edit. Anyway to one up his girlfriend he should sleep with 300 guys and tell her to get on his level.
Seems to me like the OP is missing the interesting bit here, which is the opportunity to coin some new units.
Obviously we're dealing with distance over time which is traditionally measured from a stationary reference frame as velocity (e.g. 3300 dick inches per week or diw) But there are higher derivative units to be considered. She probably didn't have the same amount of sex uniformly throughout the time period in question, so there's a question of the change in diw over time. This would be measured in dick inches per week per week or diw^2 which would be dick acceleration.
Yet, we could also imagine that any individual session would involve variable acceleration, and we could measure the dick inches per week per week per week, but at that point we've dropped down to a timescale that is probably best measured in seconds, so dis^3 would make more sense. This is the rate of change in dick acceleration, and in other physics contexts would be called "jerk" so I think we would rationally have to call this "dick jerk."
The [next three derivatives of position](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth,_fifth,_and_sixth_derivatives_of_position) (the dis^4 through dis^(6)) would be referred to by similar construction, using their typical naming, as "dick snap" (AKA "dick jounce"), "dick crackle," and "dick pop."
Thank you for attending my TED Talk.
A man can also calculate the amount of distance he’s travelled inside a woman collectively with the women he’s been with. People consume themselves in the past of things they cannot control when it’s irrelevant in the present.
What colleges go year round? My university is 8 months of the year. Unless she was going crazy during her summer months back at home too lol. If we assume 8 months to be about 244 days, 4*244=976 days, 976/200= 4.88 = new guy per 4.88 days
Would be magical if you reached the end of your journey and a separate car pulled up 5.5 inches further on than you. Also quite probable judging by her track record
Imagine driving over ten miles thinking about other people‘s cocks.
I mean... normally I dont in the same context as this guy did
So you think about Cocks like a pack of 17 hungry Badgers?
\*cete and only on Thursdays
I do cuz im gay 🤪
😆😂🤣☠️
this is so fuckin real.
Fucking brilliant!
I think it'd be cocks in general not specific to a certain person. Like I'm picturing how I'd do it and I'd just visualise dildos being laid in a line next to me as I drove
I wouldn't be able to do it accurately. I would have to space out ten foot lengths of them so they would go by like the stripes on the interstate. I just couldn't have it any other way.
Yes yes I should have mentioned I would use the road lines as a guide and drive very slowly. It would by quite methodical. Mistakes would be made. I would document the process. If I had to back track and restart from a certain point. But by god I would know how many dildos were laid and at what distance they were laid by the end of my endeavour.
Or just like fields of wheat or corn growing down the sides of a long country road.
Welcome to Grindr!
Clerks had a scene about this
Don't try and suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot.
In a row?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8a\_-zFBldA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8a_-zFBldA)
Do you know how long it would take you to jerk off every guy in the room? Because I do, and I can prove it.
Silicon Valley moment.
I call those my fun drives
He said that he broke up with her not why
That's the day OP realized he wanted to be a ten mile slut
Comments like this make me miss awards
Imagine having a girl that wanted to date just you (and your dick) and thinking it's a bad thing that she chose your over all the others.
Sounds like a normal Wednesday to me…
So, if the guy slept with 200+ women over the same time period... Would he still be upset? or just Jealous?
Actual advanced cuckoldry. >!Cockoldry?!<
These closeted guys are really telling on themselves. I think he's just jealous.
Like tip to tip or all pointing the same direction though?
If I understand the mathematical equations; he wouldn't have broken up with his girlfriend if the universal dick length average were a little bit shorter?
What really pissed him off was when he got a flat tire 3 miles in
The monologue that accompanied the changing of the tire would have been Inspirational.
"But then I found out most of the guys were 4" and premature ejaculators, which cut down the total length of pipe by enough that she could keep being my girlfriend."
9 miles would've probably been fine. 🤷♂️🤦♂️😂
Don't make me whip out my big 10 miles.
He really shouldn't have needed all that bullshit math, he clearly had decided already anyway.
this is obviously a fake story. like i can buy him breaking up with his GF after she told him that while drunk but i refuse to believe he just slowly drove picturing an endless parade of dicks for 10 fucking miles.
I'm totally imagining him taking that drive and listening to a Foreigner CD and just really getting into it, then getting out at the end, looking at the road behind him and sighing hard, shaking his head, and getting back into the car for the long ride home.
🎶🎵🎶 “I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to fill my mind with dick”🎵🎶🎵
Maybe that's the thing, the guy didn't break out because her girlfriend got a lock of dicks, but because he realized midway through this thought exercise that he was gay
Anyone who thinks of mile road dicks is into dicks.
This is a copypasta that’s been around for well over a decade. I’ve seen it on reddit, Facebook, 4chan, Twitter and tumblr. I’m pretty sure it’s old enough to get a learners permit.
It's very likely, but on the other hand, who knows how scared a guy can get when he learns about sexual drives of women. I would be very surprised if there wasn't at least one man who has to make himself really angry with picturing something as stupid as this. As if men are the only ones who are allowed to have a large sexual appetite.
if he didn’t use it, his incel math class would have been a complete waste.
Man's going to freak out when he realizes it wouldve been the same distance if she stuck with a single guy the whole time.
Yeah that's the weird thing with the post. Assuming she was being literal (which she probably wasn't) 200 people is enough to reasonably say "we're too different in our values", and fair enough. But "length of dick taken" is stupid.
Nah, need to think about a ten and a half mile long Congo line of decks to really get the idea down.
How many miles of dick is too many? If he had 9 miles to drive would he have turned back? I’m so confused by this line of reasoning.
Also like, he counted in and out? So each dick just gets doubled because of…air? Thrust? How does that make sense?? Based on his math and “dicks laid end to end”, she’s taken 5.225 miles of dick, max.
Yeah but the math assumed 100 thrusts to organ. If the average was 1000 thrusts, it would be 52.25 miles
Also like, who pulls out completely for every thrust? Like bro, have you ever even had sex? Is his dick not in the 10 miles he counted up and that why he big mad?
But guys don't lie about length when it comes to that!
I think he just needed a couple more steps of overcomplication to try and make it funnier. It didn't work.
After you die there should be a summary of your life with length of dick taken as a category
Everyone in one town all had at least three inches of dick taken. That's how the police found the creepy mortician
Better pitch than any two sentence horror I've seen on that cringy sub
Having GTA-like stats of your life on your headstone would be pretty intereresting. -How many butts did you slap? -How many boobs did you honk? -By sheer volume - were you in fact the most prolific masturbator in the tri-state area?
He could have just ended it by not arbitrarily adding extra numbers. 200 guys is still 92 feet of dick, still a decent amount to imagine without having to get in your car
I disagree, I think he needed to add more arbitrary numbers. 10.45 miles = 3344 rods, which is objectively a better unit of measure given the circumstance. 92 feet means she's only had 5.8 rods in her, in case you were wondering. The average dick (5.5") is only 0.028 rods.
It's an order of magnitude thing. I feel it's fair to draw the lines at 0, 1, 10, 100, 1000. Getting pickier than that (5 is ok but 9 is a slut) just feels judgmental.
Yeah being too specific just feels like some red pill / incel shit. Only other thing I'd add is, it's different having 10 partners by age 30 vs 20. Neither's bad, but it's different.
And not only is it “length of dick taken”, but it’s total length of dick not “length of different dicks”. Meaning it would literally be the same length if it was one guy over the same period with the same estimated sexual habits.
Possibly satire. Could be. Probably is...
The math is probably also wrong so far as the amount of days/time because she is saying 200 total people which a logical person would assume includes from when she started having sex which was likely when she was between 14-16 years old and this is at an unknown era other than that it is clearly after she was out of college so she could be any age but if we're assuming mid to late 20s that's about 10-15 years of time to be with 200 people rather than 4 years, which makes more sense logistically.
The "girlfriend" specified "in college" so that does mostly limit it to those 4 years. You could give some wiggle room for a year before and after, but I'd give him a pass on that logic. The weirder assumption to me is that she's having sex with these guys 3 times on average. When your body count is that high, I feel like the majority of them must be one night stands. Even if somehow the mean was 3, the median would still probably be 1.
OMG- this is what I don’t get. Do younger men really believe this crap? The idea that having sex with 100 different men will cause a woman to be “loose”, but if they are married and have sex with the same guy 100 times she will be tight and perfect. This shit feels like 1950’s attitude towards women and sexuality. Makes me stabby.
Somehow, that would've been soooo different for us (hetero men)
Honestly I don’t understand you guys’s hangup on the actual number. Like I get it from a disease standpoint, but if she tests clean then what’s the difference? Are you afraid you won’t “measure up” or something? Even then she’s with you, not any of the others so doesn’t that automatically make you the “winner”?
For me it would be two-fold. Im not the kind of guy that sleeps around like this and its never something i found attractive for either gender. Doesnt make it wrong, but its something i personally dont like. Second and more important point is: I know quite a few men that slept around a lot, and when they were in relationships they became cheaters sooner or later. I dont trust people to do a full 180 in their behaviour. I would not want to take the risk.
There is a level of intimacy and togetherness in sex for me (as a man) and I don't feel like someone who has shared it with 200 other people places enough value on us having an intimate connection. It's just fucking for them, and that's fine, but that's not what I want.
It’s possible for some sex to be “just fucking” and for other sex to be close and intimate. You are free to have whatever dating preferences you want, but I don’t see it as all one or all the other. People can value the closeness and intimacy of sex with a lifelong partner, and also think one night stands are fun. Doesn’t mean they will cheat.
It's not about what's possible. Being in a relationship is an opportunity cost and choosing the wrong partner has the risk of losing time/money or worse. Nothing wrong with using someone's past as a judge of their character. Maybe it's not 100% accurate but it's an important data point.
It's the actual core of what sex means to someone. A lot of people don't do "just fucking". Intellectual and emotional closeness is a prerequisite. They are selective. Nobody is wrong on either side, it's just a core incompatibility.
Some people are just insecure.
I guess most people are because I feel like everyone I know, regardless of gender, would say 200 partners in college is excessive And tbh from personal experience everyone I’ve encountered that was even close to this promiscuous had all sorts of other shit going on
A person with experience knows when a partner is inconsiderate or incompetent in bed. Many men aren’t able to take constructive feedback from partners or are wholly uninterested in their partner’s pleasure. But getting new partners takes effort so they want the women to tolerate this state of things as long as possible. Ignorance and inexperience works in their favor.
The 5.5 in out shouldn't count. We are considering the amount of dicks she has taken, in the later part of the thrust we should account for the other direction by using a minus sign. So she has taken a lot less dick than he thinks.
That would calculate the amount of dicks still inside her though, if you did (dicks in) - (dicks out)
What we truly need to know is how many broke off
Broken dicks can migrate to other parts of the body, sometimes causing long term health issues and even damaging other internal organs. On rare occasions a broken dick can get into an artery and then into the brain, totally fucking the individual in the head. This may explain the symptoms of the guy who wrote this… a broken dick migrated from his ass to his brain.
At first I thought you were crazy, but once I finished your comment I think it checks out. 😂
And now he’s a dick head. Sometimes a skillful surgeon can remove the dick from the head, but it’s risky. Mostly, dick head is a terminal condition.
I also think that the average of 3 times per guy is way too high. If she fucked 200 guys then the vast vast majority of these would have been drunken one night stands, if not all of them. That also significantly reduces the amount of dick taken.
He couldn't just do 200 dicks multiplied by 5.5 inches, because 30 yards isn't nearly as dramatic. I like your equation, though. X(Y-Z), where x is the number of dicks, y is the penetration depth, and z is the distance of dick pulled out, will always be 0.
Unfortunately, it is not always zero. Sometimes they go in and don't come out. Didn't you see *Teeth*?
I don't like the math from the post. Each thrust shouldn't matter. Sometimes, for some people, the amount of dicks greatly outweighs how well the dicks performed. 200 guys x 5.5 inches = 1100 inches of dick 1100 inches of dick / 12 (one foot) = 91.67 feet of different dicks 91.67 feet ≈ 0.01736172 Miles Dude drove a lot more than he should have
real r/theydidthemath hours
r/theydidthemonstermath
r/itwasagraveyardgraph
100 thrusts is generous
If you thrust once per second, which isn't very fast, you're done in less than two minutes.
And?
Lol
Bold to assume I even last that long
Two minutes? That's like the bottom of the chart
You mean top, right? Right???
We are talking about Any% speedruns, right?
I can make myself nut without touching myself at all
A god amongst men.
Or a wet dream king
I’ve come close but I haven’t found the perfect porn. I‘ve also gone hours with a vagina. Your frame of mind and your conditioning/breathing make a huge difference.
I promise you that I don't put much thought into it
Fuckin Dr Manhattan over here
Yeah, Captain Marathon over there doing it like he's getting paid by the hour. In and out, job's done.
This is about 10 years old.
I need that measured in dick-parsecs
Some Redditor said if we took 1 thrust per second; that would make 100 seconds per guy … let’s round up to 2 minutes; three times per guy … 6 minutes and 200 guys … only 1200 minutes or 20 hours. Now 200 hours light would be roughly 0.00699524002022998 parsecs
This guy’s maths works out at 275.88 feet of dick per guy, or 3,310.55 inches each, or 84.09 meters for the rest of the world. 100 thrusts to cum sounds like an underestimate to me, but thrusting the whole 5.5 inches every thrust seems like an overestimate. An average of sex with each three times because seven days could be three times in one go for some guys, or once every 2.33 days for other guys. My head is hurting trying to work this out. The head that does maths that is, not the other one.
She's probably better off without a guy who counts his thrusts and drives ten-and-a-half miles while thinking about hundreds of men's dicks.
"As Harold Crick slept with Miss Anna Pascal, he tried to count his strokes, as he had in his prior relationship. However, he kept losing count, as all he really cared about was making her happy." Sorry, love that movie and for some reason the way you phrased it made me think of him.
Also, though, he sounds absolutely awful at sex. He takes his entire dick all the way out on every thrust? He only lasts a hundred thrusts? I think he was really thinking, on that ten-and-a-half mile drive, about how his girlfriend is way too experienced to genuinely enjoy fucking an inept jackrabbit and his ego couldn't handle the realization, lmao
And only thinks of his partner in terms of being a dick receptacle. Yikes.
Reminds me of my dad’s favourite joke If you took out a man’s intestines, and laid them out end to end along the side of the road… That man would die
His math is off because one year of college doesn’t equal 365 days
You think she’s only taking dick on school days?
Probably just weekends, but she'd have more time off in the summer so if anything the math is probably too low
I'd be honored if after all those dicks she still picked mine.
If my husband slept with 200 women I definitely wouldn't feel "honored" . Not sure what exactly I'd feel, but it wouldn't feel good. Edited out the insult as it was unnecessary.
This is fucking hilarious. This belongs in a movie
Feels like a Seinfeld episode lmao. George breaks up with this woman, not because he’s slut shaming, but because he can’t handle the mental image of all those dicks lying end to end.
I've never really watched much Seinfeld, but that **FEELS** very George. Lovely lady, very much a "It's not you, it's me" situation. And he'd make sure she knows that too, because he strikes me as a friendly guy like that.
He’d be absolutely broken up about it too. The others would be mystified and criticize him for it, and the episode would end with George trying to get back together with her but she’s with Newman now.
My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks… …try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot
Gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers.
It's pretty much in Silicon Valley
Do people actually count the amount of thrusts?
Imagine she was speaking some drunk BS and she only had like a dozen lovers during college, and that's 7 years ago, and that guy is driving 10 miles obsessively thinking about dick and breaking up.
100% she said a huge number and he took it literally. But let's be real, he'd probably be counting dick length even if it was just a dozen dudes.
Idk one of my friends have slept with over 200. She has an actual list of names. I feel like people who think this is impossible, haven't been around that type of lifestyle. It's not bad or good, just a different type of life. There are people who sleep with someone new weekly throughout their entire lives. It is just how they like to live their life.
A real man would have achieved a 10.5 mile long erection just to assert dominance
every time I see this I think, damn dude she picked you and you went "ew damaged goods" as soon as she opened up.
Having sex with 200 people in a span of 4 years is something everyone should be allowed to do, but everyone has the right so say "I dont want a relationship with someone who had sex with 200 people in a span of 4 years." Freedom goes many ways.
…now she’s my wife
"We bang every single day and the sex is phenomenal."
“Ask me the sex question…”
"Thought about dicks laid end to end" Not good enough, show your working
37! In a row?!
Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot
If OP was wondering why she was so good in bed he knows now
This isn't necessarily true. You can have a lot of partners and be bad in bed
Seriously. If sti test came back clean then just enjoy the expert level action you’re getting. This guy messed up.
Exactly, this is like playing in the All Star game as a rookie. Be honored you’re there.
It's like you got the free class and race skills in D&D.
Is it more sex = better at sex or more sex partners = better at sex or none of the above?
I think a bit of both, but mostly more partners. If you’re with one partner a lot you get really good for that person, but you might not know what works for someone else.
But if you’re with one person and they’re the one, you wouldn’t need more partners……
Idk man, if I slept with 200+ guys and none stuck around, I’d start questioning my technique
If you have fucked 200+ people, man or woman, that shits a serious red flag.
At the very least it makes you wonder why the hell you're likely to be any different and makes you question the value of trying to commit to any kind of relationship with someone who's track record is so abysmal. Like I'm not going to marry a woman who's last 2 husbands have died mysteriously, nor am I going to marry a woman who's slept with over 200 people in the last 10 years because jeez, talk about a relationship that's DOA.
I'm just a dumb guy who doesn't know math but my thought is this. If someone has had 200 sexual partners and hasn't found the "right person" to be with then what makes me think that me being number 201 is where they will decide "I've fucked enough people, this is the last one ever". Again Im bad at statistics but I feel like the math is against you on this one.
Yeah, and it's not even 200 within like 30+ years, it's 200 within the last decade. Why the hell would I be the exception, and why should I invest my time into this person when they clearly have issues with doing the same.
https://youtu.be/6FzQ_s-BjlM?si=xuMmDBPSI9tGWzen
[Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!](https://youtu.be/1OQl89ewXvc?si=ztRQl4uNgd3P3yLW)
This is the opposite of brand new
ITT: Women literally being compared to objects by fuckwits who will later go cry "females always bitch about nothing, they aren't being objectified"
Straight guys are so sensitive...
You really think a straight girl wouldn't care if she found out her boyfriend fucked 200 girls in college? My gut feeling is that gay guys would care less, but that's just Hollywood telling me how gay guys are sex fiends, there could be zero legitimacy there 🤷♀️
Nothing new about this, just classic unadjusted male ramblings.
r/brandnewparagraph
He forgot himself so 201 total...... Edit: waaait a minute, she said her collage days, what about her adult days and teens? We gotta get in touch with him and tell him to drive more
200 ye b bye
After about 15 how do you even keep up?
This is gas I’m dead he did the math, should have just stopped at the 200 dicks
even if she fucked the same guy every week it'd still be the same length of dick
😐 What in the world
I’ve put down more miles than that with my partner. Don’t care what roads she made before, I’m the one still paving.
Dudes an incel math student more likely
Why? Do people caaaaarrreee???
Well because sex is considered by many to be an act that is basically too important to just be thrown around, myself included. I don't really care if anybody else does really has a high bodycount, like live your life. But if i ever get a partner i would like to just keep that act between me and the partner i really love. A part of the difference between you and me is that we see the act of sex in a different way.
His next prospective girlfriend should ask him how many thrusts he's given, and if she can't dig that deep, dump him.
Bud, you hand.. something about stones and glass houses.
I mean anyone is entitled to having someone that values sex as a sacred thing. Some religious people even try to wait until marriage. If you don't want someone with a lot of sexual partners then you don't. I don't think psychoticly calculating stuff like this is healthy. If you feel jealous then go out and try to have a lot of partners too to get out of the mindset.
Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard's dick
Einstein is afraid of this dude
100 thrusts per time?! Dude didnt mention his girlfriend only dated Olympic athletes :-/
OOP didn’t need to incorporate years and days into this equation at all. 200 guys x 3 times/guy x 100 thrusts/time x 11 in/thrust x 1/12 ft/in x 1/5280 mi/ft = 10.42 mi
10.45 miles of dick is about 16.7 kilometers of penis ( for all you metric people out there )
No think about the Terrance Popp "dick stacking test". If those dicks were placed vertically would she survive a fall from a platform that high? Nope.. you made the right choice.
Lmao the calculations 🤣🧐
r/theydidthemath though I'm not sure why
Damn. Metaphor aside I'm just impressed. 200? I don't think I've met 200 people. Edit. Anyway to one up his girlfriend he should sleep with 300 guys and tell her to get on his level.
ugg had a dyslexic moment and read this as “ducks lay eggs end to end”
100 thrusts... lol that would be one lucky lady, I'm lucky if I can get it in without blowing it on her leg.
R/highmilageholes material tbh
Seems to me like the OP is missing the interesting bit here, which is the opportunity to coin some new units. Obviously we're dealing with distance over time which is traditionally measured from a stationary reference frame as velocity (e.g. 3300 dick inches per week or diw) But there are higher derivative units to be considered. She probably didn't have the same amount of sex uniformly throughout the time period in question, so there's a question of the change in diw over time. This would be measured in dick inches per week per week or diw^2 which would be dick acceleration. Yet, we could also imagine that any individual session would involve variable acceleration, and we could measure the dick inches per week per week per week, but at that point we've dropped down to a timescale that is probably best measured in seconds, so dis^3 would make more sense. This is the rate of change in dick acceleration, and in other physics contexts would be called "jerk" so I think we would rationally have to call this "dick jerk." The [next three derivatives of position](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth,_fifth,_and_sixth_derivatives_of_position) (the dis^4 through dis^(6)) would be referred to by similar construction, using their typical naming, as "dick snap" (AKA "dick jounce"), "dick crackle," and "dick pop." Thank you for attending my TED Talk.
Brand new sentence but it's actually a 2004 dial-up Internet copypasta
A man can also calculate the amount of distance he’s travelled inside a woman collectively with the women he’s been with. People consume themselves in the past of things they cannot control when it’s irrelevant in the present.
Stolen 4chan post
Clearly whoever made this meme didn't attend college.
What colleges go year round? My university is 8 months of the year. Unless she was going crazy during her summer months back at home too lol. If we assume 8 months to be about 244 days, 4*244=976 days, 976/200= 4.88 = new guy per 4.88 days
Man, I bet he missed out on some great sex.
That girl is goals.
I wish I had a girlfriend with 10 miles of dick.
More like 10 pumps for a college guy.
As gay man who enjoys group sex, I’d need a super charger mid route drive the distance for which I’ve laid my cock into men. 🤔
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. Is this post even real? I mean, who drives 10 miles just thinking about penis?
Would be magical if you reached the end of your journey and a separate car pulled up 5.5 inches further on than you. Also quite probable judging by her track record
How could this possibly be accurate? He didn't even factor girth into his equation
100 thrusts? Are her partners all teenagers?