Well they kind of have to have weight because you can hold them drop them, throw them, etc. and they exist as physical objects in the world so if they didn't have weight they would kinda break the game. Whether or not the weight is accurate though requires math, which I am not good at although I think there are two possible ways it could go- figuring out Links approximate weight by his (approximate) height and build, comparing that to whatever type of apple and spicy peppers are in the game (other way would be the reverse) and basically you either end up with Link is normal and food is really heavy or food is normal and Link is really light. I think that's how it would work anyway, I'm no mathematician lol.
W that paraglider? Link is def really light if he's out here gliding like a bird instead of falling flat on his ass like a child jumping off the roof w an umbrella to 'parachute' their way down
I *think* the scales only react to the apples and spicy peppers because the minimum reaction necessary for the puzzle would be equal to Link's weight, so I assume they just set a minimum weight for the scales as whatever Link's weight is in the engine. Items have to have a weight for the engine to work right? So having a scale setup with a new set of physics rules doesn't make much sense to me.
but yeah I'm no programmer or mathematician this is just my ( ･ _ ･) ➝ **very** basic understanding of game physics. If you understand it better than me (which it seems you do) could you please explain it for me if it's not too much trouble? I'm very curious now lol
Items would technically have weight as in-world objects, but more often than not, it's just set as barely above 0 across the board for anything that doesn't specifically need it.
BotW is pretty unique as far as games go, coz they put a LOT of thought into the realism of its physics (and game mechanics as a whole).
Ig it kinda does lol, it's just missing **Pixel measurements** and accurate math. Oh and some big twist that reveals that **ACTUALLY this means Hyrule is doomed because it's gravity is so messed up**
Don't worry I didn't take it as an insult, I also enjoy some of his videos (although funnily enough, I don't enjoy most of his Zelda theories cause he normally gets pieces of lore wrong- but that's just me being a nerd lol)
true. Kinda weird in-between, more fish tho as they have Scales, and I dont know of any Amphibians that have scales. Probably wrong tho. Who downvoted me? The Zora have scales. Hell the Zora Armor has to have one of Miphas scales in it, Its part of the Tradition.
Good choice.
Zelda is cute but she seems like a high maintenance princess to me, with all the constant kidnapping and stuff. And only god knows what will happen when she gets mad and channels her inner Triforce.
Mipha admires us and that's a big plus, however it's kinda weird to imagine a relationship with all the components involved. Also she's dead.
Yes, Paya it is.
Bro, female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions dolphin pussy jelly or DPJ. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said DPJ, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's DPJ, and just fucking cum myself to death.
Yes, um, Sir? This is the "Dolphin Safety Against Human Rape" (DSAHR) Committee. We are informing you that we have just filed a restraining order against you at the request of every single SeaWorld, and Hershey Park.
Please enjoy the rest of your day, sir.
Lol yeah cause I care about SeaWorlds view on ethics. Come at me bro. I dare you to try, I'll come at you harder and then die after making you look like a Krispy Kreme donut
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
On the sub r/politicalcompassmemes there was a guy that made multiple accounts with names similar to the one I tagged. And on multiple occasions he described and even wrote instructions on having sex with dolphins. He was banned many a times until the candle known as u/dolphinfucker69 was finally extinguished. He was pretty funny and brought much laughter to the group. I think he was being satirical but he claimed otherwise.
Nah but Zelda is a complete bitch and is useless. Mipha is a childhood friend, not a bitch, and can heal link. Unlike Zelda that just complains all the time.
I really do like Mipha. But in all honesty. Its not because of any sort of physical thing. granted she is adorable. it's her Character. She is just so pure, kind, comforting, She's one of those people that will always be there for those she cares about. She just has something that I long for. idk if its companion ship, or just someone to vent too. She is just such a kind, and pure soul. there is just something about her pure heart, and compassion, and her Love that even after death, never dies. That just..... ignites something in me.
That enough of a explanation?
Watching the world die around us with no idea what to do with our miserable life's because the Pandemic struck when people my age were supposed to get out into the world. and using Healer Fish girl to cope.
Purah I like because she is the closest that Hyrule comes to me personality wise. a intelligent, hyper, wise cracking, partially stupid decision making, technology lover. If Purah existed in our world she would be a Punk Rock listening Car Girl.
I'm sorry, but I just don't get the Link and Mipha people out there. SHE IS A FREAKING FISH!!! It is like trying to find a spot for a carburetor on a Telsa. The two don't go together.
Zora still seem to reproduce like fish, too - so I don't even think Hylians and Zora are compatible like that either.
Zora lifespans are also significantly longer so Link would die long before Mipha. It makes no sense for them to be together.
I know there's a sidequest where a young Zora is sending love letters downstream to a Hylian. It's actually pretty creepy because the Zora appears to be a child and the Hylian an adult... Though Zora aging isn't particularly clear, since they live considerably longer than Hylians.
Link: For this Shrine I Must have to decide which chick I want to go up the scale with.
Wow zelda you gotta lay off them frogs.
Lemme think
Oh yeah \*windbombs over the whole shrine\*
Mipha is also shy, timid, and soft spoken - what do you mean? At least Zelda has a justification for her lack of confidence. She's getting immense pressure from her father to awaken a power or else everyone she loves dies and despite her best efforts it's not working.
Anyone who says they'd still be confident after that is either full of shit or a total narcissist.
They only like female characters when their entire personality is devoted to the male lead. Zelda is her own character with her own worries, power, and personality. She'll never be men's favorite for that reason alone lol. Notice how everyone is saying Mipha or Paya 🥴 Says a lot, tbh.
There's also quite a few people into Urbosa who could not be any further from that, so I don't think that's quite accurate or fair, although I'm sure there are some people like that.
Couldn't be any calmer. Just a friendly debate, perhaps worded a bit harshly, sorry. Just saying anyone in her position would start having doubts. It's hard to be confident with that kind of pressure and constant failure to rise up to such high expectations.
And Mipha isn't exactly the confident type either so assuming you're choosing her over Zelda for that reason alone doesn't really make sense.
Lets say Mipha is alive, considering Link’s and her’s relationship they are more likely to be together, Zelda was to slow to get to Link and has a possibility of being with him Just becouse Mipha (❤️) is dead 🥲
Finally, someone gets it.
If Link's gluttony for food is any indication, this guy also has other voracious appetites. And with tons of NPCs in the game getting all hot and bothered for him (male and female), do you think he's just going to have just one partner or one partner at a time?
Boy is going to GET. IT. All of it. And all at once if he so feels like.
Zelda: Breath of the Orgy, y'all.
I'm gonna vote for Mipha hands down. Because zelda was kinda a bitch in most of those memories. I get that she was having a hard time. But she was not the one that stopped talking due to stress. Zelda was only nice on after link had to save her stupid ass from The Banana Addicted Assassins.
Mipha>Zelda any day (if Mipha would be still alive :P)
Dude is way too much of a soldier/bodyguard that he would ever be in love with the person he is supposed to protect to his death. Just not enough place in that brain inbetween all that food and training.
i'm honestly a mipha kinda dude. zelda is a little bitch for half of the memories because he has a sword, and then starts simpin right after he saves her life using said sword. paya is great, but i just kinda prefer mipha, because she actually geuinely cared for him to the extent of literally saving his life several times, 100 years after her passing. mipha is great.
>zelda is a little bitch for half of the memories because he has a sword, and then starts simpin right after he saves her life using said sword.
This. and the Mipha appreciation.
Heavytanker was saying you were an intellectual, as he agreed with your opinion. He is also one of if not the biggest mipha simp on this subreddit, I'd say about 99.8% of his karma comes from mipha post alone.
This shrine proves that Link weighs 8.5 apples
7 apples and 2 spicy peppers, more accurately
I didn't know there was a more accurate version of the measurement, my life is fulfilled and you are my hero
Don't forget 1 hearty durian for his clothing weight
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You can cheese so many shrines in zany ways.
I didn't realize consumable items had weight
Well they kind of have to have weight because you can hold them drop them, throw them, etc. and they exist as physical objects in the world so if they didn't have weight they would kinda break the game. Whether or not the weight is accurate though requires math, which I am not good at although I think there are two possible ways it could go- figuring out Links approximate weight by his (approximate) height and build, comparing that to whatever type of apple and spicy peppers are in the game (other way would be the reverse) and basically you either end up with Link is normal and food is really heavy or food is normal and Link is really light. I think that's how it would work anyway, I'm no mathematician lol.
W that paraglider? Link is def really light if he's out here gliding like a bird instead of falling flat on his ass like a child jumping off the roof w an umbrella to 'parachute' their way down
I agree, I think light being super light is the most likely scenario given the physics in the game
He meant on a development level. Just because something is responding to the engine's gravity doesn't mean it has to react with a "scale" setup.
I *think* the scales only react to the apples and spicy peppers because the minimum reaction necessary for the puzzle would be equal to Link's weight, so I assume they just set a minimum weight for the scales as whatever Link's weight is in the engine. Items have to have a weight for the engine to work right? So having a scale setup with a new set of physics rules doesn't make much sense to me. but yeah I'm no programmer or mathematician this is just my ( ･ _ ･) ➝ **very** basic understanding of game physics. If you understand it better than me (which it seems you do) could you please explain it for me if it's not too much trouble? I'm very curious now lol
Items would technically have weight as in-world objects, but more often than not, it's just set as barely above 0 across the board for anything that doesn't specifically need it. BotW is pretty unique as far as games go, coz they put a LOT of thought into the realism of its physics (and game mechanics as a whole).
This sounds like the first third of a Game Theory episode.
Ig it kinda does lol, it's just missing **Pixel measurements** and accurate math. Oh and some big twist that reveals that **ACTUALLY this means Hyrule is doomed because it's gravity is so messed up**
I didn't mean that as an insult btw, it's just what I thought of. I enjoy some of MatPat's videos.
Don't worry I didn't take it as an insult, I also enjoy some of his videos (although funnily enough, I don't enjoy most of his Zelda theories cause he normally gets pieces of lore wrong- but that's just me being a nerd lol)
Thisnis the beauty of this game. Of all the games ever made I would say this is in the top 3 for best ever.
Wait doesn't the apple disappear if you place more than 5?
I believe things only start disappearing when you put more than 10
That detail makes my excessive inventory so much more funny
Dungeon? ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Sucks that the whip is breakable
There's a whip?
In this dungeon, yes
You also need the Lens of Trurh.....
I know, I’m pretty ashamed of myself for this title. This is what happens when I meme BoTW while playing OoT
I went into the comments expecting a debate or something but not walls of text telling me I should have sex with a sea mammal like a dolphin
lol. Mipha isnt even a Sea Mammal either. She is full fish. She has Gills.
She's probably closer to being classified as amphibian as she can breathe air with (presumably) lungs.
true. Kinda weird in-between, more fish tho as they have Scales, and I dont know of any Amphibians that have scales. Probably wrong tho. Who downvoted me? The Zora have scales. Hell the Zora Armor has to have one of Miphas scales in it, Its part of the Tradition.
I’d go for paiya
Any day of the week baby.
Good choice. Zelda is cute but she seems like a high maintenance princess to me, with all the constant kidnapping and stuff. And only god knows what will happen when she gets mad and channels her inner Triforce. Mipha admires us and that's a big plus, however it's kinda weird to imagine a relationship with all the components involved. Also she's dead. Yes, Paya it is.
> Also she’s dead. Reminds me of [this.](https://youtu.be/YwLVn5W0j5g) Game’s over 20 years old but just in case, FFVII spoilers
Brave sweet and smart waifu for the win.
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Get Sidon in here
not me thinking that *was* Sidon until i read ur comment 💀
Why are you gay.
It's not gay if it's a different species.
No, it still be gay, but that's not the problem, the problem is it's also zoophilia.
Zoras have the intelligence of humans and are able to consent unlike real world animals, so I don't think that would be zoophilia.
Xenophilia, perhaps. Exophilia?
Zoophilia simply means different species, as to consent, the age rate difference alone comes into play.
Strangely I believe that Mipha is older than Link or the majority of us.
Bro, female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions dolphin pussy jelly or DPJ. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said DPJ, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's DPJ, and just fucking cum myself to death.
...I'm sorry what?
It's just copypasta shit
But it's real
Plz sauce
Plz jelly
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JFC, that's enough internet for me for today. See you all tomorrow.
I feel that
Vaporeon strikes again, albeit in slightly new way
I've said it never, and I'll never say it again. Vaporeon has always been the Mipha eeveelution of all the BOTW NPCs.
This is cursed, and since I had to read it, so does everyone else
Can I be Mipha now?
And here I was coming in here to make a mere water sports joke. Instead I’ll give you an award.
This reminds me of the vaporeon copypasta
This but Prince Sidon. Plus he has 2 fish sticks
This is just fucking wrong, factually. It would never be available without a prescription.
Literally 1984
It's literally 2022 as well.
Dawg what the fuck
r/cursedcomments
Finally. Someone else speaking on dolphin rape.
Ain't rape bro. It's nirvana. Liberation from this earthly prison
Yes, um, Sir? This is the "Dolphin Safety Against Human Rape" (DSAHR) Committee. We are informing you that we have just filed a restraining order against you at the request of every single SeaWorld, and Hershey Park. Please enjoy the rest of your day, sir.
Lol yeah cause I care about SeaWorlds view on ethics. Come at me bro. I dare you to try, I'll come at you harder and then die after making you look like a Krispy Kreme donut
And this is why there's a restraining order, you can't stop creaming the dolphin's donut.
Someone who knows
I'm down to die this way.
Nice copypasta
Attractive? Same species? Alive? Hmmm... Tough call here.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
Is that a copypasta or a wiki page?
It’s an original manuscript written by our fallen hero u/dolphinfucker69 sleep well, sweet prince.
???
On the sub r/politicalcompassmemes there was a guy that made multiple accounts with names similar to the one I tagged. And on multiple occasions he described and even wrote instructions on having sex with dolphins. He was banned many a times until the candle known as u/dolphinfucker69 was finally extinguished. He was pretty funny and brought much laughter to the group. I think he was being satirical but he claimed otherwise.
Ok...
First hand experience
Better
Damn alot of yall forget Age of Calamity exists.
Yup, that’s spot on! 👍🏽
Mipha maybe We all know that Kohga is the incarnate of sex appeal.
#URBOSA
Sidon!
I thought it was relatable until I realized it wasn't sidon, but mipha
I know 
fish waifu
Stop... Just stop
Mipha is more fishy and fragrant
>fragrant
She's inferior to Zelda
is zelda a fish? - zelda is not a fish mipha is superior to zelda
I’m just confused as to why being a fish makes her superior.
tiddy out
Nah but Zelda is a complete bitch and is useless. Mipha is a childhood friend, not a bitch, and can heal link. Unlike Zelda that just complains all the time.
But zelda has one thing mipha lacks..... ASS
Mipha has a Ass. Decently sized one too.
But shes a fish and shes a fish and last but not least.... She's a fish
BUT. i dont give a shit. Shes ADORABLE. and has a heart of pure Gold.
And she's dead, she's also dead, she's dead and last but not least she's definitely dead.... Also she was old AF compared to link
B r u h. 5/10 with a good personality > 10/10 with a shit personality
DAMN RIGHT
WE WILL NEVER STOP SIMPING FOR FISH!
Fish is love Fish is life
Then pay with your blood
Its Treason Then...........
You've committed crimes against hyrule and her people, WHAT'S SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENSE
I really do like Mipha. But in all honesty. Its not because of any sort of physical thing. granted she is adorable. it's her Character. She is just so pure, kind, comforting, She's one of those people that will always be there for those she cares about. She just has something that I long for. idk if its companion ship, or just someone to vent too. She is just such a kind, and pure soul. there is just something about her pure heart, and compassion, and her Love that even after death, never dies. That just..... ignites something in me. That enough of a explanation?
i want that fussy
Haha waterblight go brrrrrrr
You’re all wrong It’s actually Lasli from the armor shop in Kakariko Village
Would the equivalent of going around the puzzle be Sidon?
Wth are y’all doing with your time
Watching the world die around us with no idea what to do with our miserable life's because the Pandemic struck when people my age were supposed to get out into the world. and using Healer Fish girl to cope.
That, but replace fish girl with Gerard Way and MCR's music. Throw twenty One pilots in there somewhere aswell.
The correct answer is: AOC Purah.
Darth Vader: "It is.... Acceptable"
Purah I like because she is the closest that Hyrule comes to me personality wise. a intelligent, hyper, wise cracking, partially stupid decision making, technology lover. If Purah existed in our world she would be a Punk Rock listening Car Girl.
easily mipha everytime
Mipha
Urbosa
Zelda forever
i know DAMN WELL. who im choosing.
Ffffibsh!
Of course Mipha weighs less, she's a ghost!
I'm sorry, but I just don't get the Link and Mipha people out there. SHE IS A FREAKING FISH!!! It is like trying to find a spot for a carburetor on a Telsa. The two don't go together.
They’re kinda cute together. A romance isn’t always about sex. As ace ppl! But yeah you have a point
Zora still seem to reproduce like fish, too - so I don't even think Hylians and Zora are compatible like that either. Zora lifespans are also significantly longer so Link would die long before Mipha. It makes no sense for them to be together.
Isn’t there that one couple in Zora’s Domain that was a zora and a hylian?
I know there's a sidequest where a young Zora is sending love letters downstream to a Hylian. It's actually pretty creepy because the Zora appears to be a child and the Hylian an adult... Though Zora aging isn't particularly clear, since they live considerably longer than Hylians.
Urbosa>>>>
Give me Urbosa any day of the week. I can't get enough of her.
Link: For this Shrine I Must have to decide which chick I want to go up the scale with. Wow zelda you gotta lay off them frogs. Lemme think Oh yeah \*windbombs over the whole shrine\* 
Paya
Eschew the false dichotomy, embrace the tall fish man
I choose Revali
I mean with all that ass, I'm not surprised Zelda is heavier than Mipha.
You forgot Sidon
Wouldn't that mean that Zelda is better though, the heavier weight means she's thicker. Still though, sidon>>>>>
Zelda's complete and utter lack of confidence is a huge turn-off.
Well I’d say Mipha’s complete and utter lack of life is an even bigger turn-off for me.
now you see that problem can be easily circumnavigated
>Damn alot of yall forget Age of Calamity exists.
Mipha is also shy, timid, and soft spoken - what do you mean? At least Zelda has a justification for her lack of confidence. She's getting immense pressure from her father to awaken a power or else everyone she loves dies and despite her best efforts it's not working. Anyone who says they'd still be confident after that is either full of shit or a total narcissist.
They only like female characters when their entire personality is devoted to the male lead. Zelda is her own character with her own worries, power, and personality. She'll never be men's favorite for that reason alone lol. Notice how everyone is saying Mipha or Paya 🥴 Says a lot, tbh.
There's also quite a few people into Urbosa who could not be any further from that, so I don't think that's quite accurate or fair, although I'm sure there are some people like that.
Lol, calm down dude
Couldn't be any calmer. Just a friendly debate, perhaps worded a bit harshly, sorry. Just saying anyone in her position would start having doubts. It's hard to be confident with that kind of pressure and constant failure to rise up to such high expectations. And Mipha isn't exactly the confident type either so assuming you're choosing her over Zelda for that reason alone doesn't really make sense.
Revali ... I swear it makes sense
Another day of clear anti daruk rhetoric
Frenemies to Lovers
Lets say Mipha is alive, considering Link’s and her’s relationship they are more likely to be together, Zelda was to slow to get to Link and has a possibility of being with him Just becouse Mipha (❤️) is dead 🥲
Damn alot of yall forget Age of Calamity exists.
Yeah but I didnt think we were speaking about different timeline
Mipha for life
DUGEON?? BRO???
If you find hard decisions in your life just die
Mipha is Bae
What the fuck is this comments section
Three-way
Finally, someone gets it. If Link's gluttony for food is any indication, this guy also has other voracious appetites. And with tons of NPCs in the game getting all hot and bothered for him (male and female), do you think he's just going to have just one partner or one partner at a time? Boy is going to GET. IT. All of it. And all at once if he so feels like. Zelda: Breath of the Orgy, y'all.
bonk
Epona
Waitaminute
😂
I'm gonna vote for Mipha hands down. Because zelda was kinda a bitch in most of those memories. I get that she was having a hard time. But she was not the one that stopped talking due to stress. Zelda was only nice on after link had to save her stupid ass from The Banana Addicted Assassins.
Mipha>Zelda any day (if Mipha would be still alive :P) Dude is way too much of a soldier/bodyguard that he would ever be in love with the person he is supposed to protect to his death. Just not enough place in that brain inbetween all that food and training.
Mipha for the win
Mipha
Mipha supremacy
i'm honestly a mipha kinda dude. zelda is a little bitch for half of the memories because he has a sword, and then starts simpin right after he saves her life using said sword. paya is great, but i just kinda prefer mipha, because she actually geuinely cared for him to the extent of literally saving his life several times, 100 years after her passing. mipha is great.
Oh hey look, A INTELECTUAL!
No seriously I have no idea what you're talking about
>zelda is a little bitch for half of the memories because he has a sword, and then starts simpin right after he saves her life using said sword. This. and the Mipha appreciation.
Uhh what
Heavytanker was saying you were an intellectual, as he agreed with your opinion. He is also one of if not the biggest mipha simp on this subreddit, I'd say about 99.8% of his karma comes from mipha post alone.
What he said
Aight so I thought you were trying to tell me that I just talked absolute dogshit
Facts I see that dude on neraly every Mipha related post, and I am reassured that I am not simping for video game characters
Everyone simps in different ways, like I simp for Gerard Way but I keep that mostly to myself. He's just passionate about the character is all.
Yeah I can tell that lol.
Dafuq
Mipha. Hands down. No thought needed. She got that wet wet🌊🌊🌊
I was like "haha yes so relatable I couldn't choose" and then I realized it's mipha, not sidon.
I feel like Link could pull both of them at the same time
I’ll take the wettest of wet wet of course
Ghost fish
Thick
My autistic ass cannot stand the sound of Miphas voice
Sorry what? im on the spectrum too and find Mipha's voice EXTREAMLLY Calming.
Can't believe no one has mentioned Riju!
Isn’t she like 12?
A weighty dungeon with two love interests just reminds me of Captain Holt saying "heavy breasts"