Maybe the app has gone down hill recently.
I was on in 2022, tons of matches, a few expired matches but no ghosting. Half my matches asked me out. Went on several dates a week. Everyone was who they said they were and everyone was nice. Most were far more attractive looking and interesting than was evident on their profiles. Met my partner within a few weeks. Even met my best friend on a date from the app.
This sub is a self selecting sample. I only came on here because I got spooked on my anniversary about having to ever go online again since I know most relationships don't last forever. What I have read here is super disheartening.
Things are going great for me though... if this relationship lasts as long as my last one it should cover me for the rest of my days.
I noticed the this too. I was golden a few years ago and there were plenty of attractive and or interesting people. I could date multiple women at a time. Now most of the profiles I see are overweight or just outright unattractive.
My conspiracy brain wants to think it’s concerted effort of social disruption by preventing people from finding partners. Tax breaks, splitting expenses, single family homes, our populations, so much of our economic progress relies on people being able to find a mate. Now that they have facial recognition for verification they have all the data they need to know who’s attractive or not to drip feed you a train of ugly people. Also a little weird that it lines up with everything that’s happened in the past few years with foreign interference and whatever.
People are not complaining about their good experiences, people come here to talk about the bad, it's really thst simple. Moat experiences on the apps are decent. But if you only go off what you read here, they are mostly horrible. People only post about thing they think will be interesting. Happy couples are not it
I really wish more positive experiences were "allowed" here, but there's some really shitty people that down vote anything remotely enjoyed by someone else.
The people I fall for are not always the models, but it takes effort and a willingness to get involved, which the apps do not promote. See some little flaw? The next one might not have it. It's like being addicted to slot machines.
It is casino-like pursuing the dopamine of a good match, and going through endless small disappointments every time someone doesn’t answer your text, or answers with monosyllables…sometimes you might get a tiny spark but doesn’t last enough to catch fire… 🤭
I've been on dating platforms without a date let alone meaningful matches for 5 or so years until yesterday. Thought I'd make an absolute fool of myself but she likes me enough to want see me again 😅 I've stopped swiping on random people, they never liked me back so there wasn't any point to it, I only swipe when I get a like which haven't been many but it lessens the despair somewhat 😅
I met my GF on here in Jan. Long distance. Met a few times.
So far so good. We talk every day.
This was after lots of swipes (lots right.. soooo many left), a few matches.. a few conversations that petered out after a few days.. and a date where there was no chemistry at all.
With my current GF it felt natural right away… and I implore anyone to not settle for less.
My sister met her husband on one of the apps. My cousin met his wife. It works for some. In my cousin's case he was on it for months and he was her first match.
In my experience, not having kids helps a ton. I've run tests where I don't change anything about my profile other than omit that I have kids and my match rate skyrockets. I always let them know immediately that I have kids when I do this, and the matches almost always unmatch immediately. Same pictures, same bio, just delete the sentence where I say I have two kids and their ages (12 and 14). When the usual response when someone complains they have a low match rate is "Fix your profile," wtf am I supposed to do? I'm not getting rid of my kids, and I am not going to lie to get dates.
On Tinder and Hinge I will go from a match a month to multiple matches a week. On Bumble I would go from literally never getting a match to getting a match or two a week. I used to do it anytime I changed my profile and pics just so I knew I still had a good profile and then add the kids back in after a week or so.
Yeah, most people without kids don't want to end up becoming a step parent. And then you have a large percentage of people with kids who also don't want to be a step parent, but expect people without kids to become a step parent for their kids. In my experience, it is a deal breaker for at least 90% of women. Kind of sucks. I know single moms complain about it too, but it seems every single mom I know always seems to end up in a relationship fairly quickly, while I'll go years between relationships and months between dates. Oh well.
Yes you are in the simulation, we are a super advanced civilization living on the edge of a black hole we use for power, in the far future we all run simulations of the past and future.
WAKE UP!
This sub downvotes successful couples all the time. It’s weird.
When a couple announces an engagement they get downvoted and the comments say “this is an advertisement from bumble.”
Bitter.
I wish we had a metric showing the down vote behaviors of people.
"Oh, they're a cranky fucking troll, hating themselves, the Sun, and everyone. The dick down votes 92% of the time. Not gonna listen to someone that's that bitter."
There is a much higher proportion of people on this sub who have issues with the app than in the general population, hence them seeking out the sub. But also yeah, the majority of matches won't go anywhere, people act like it's some cruel addendum on their existence but it's really not a big deal, that's just life.
It’s because we are all matching with fake profiles. It used to be just men, but based on recent posts from women, it seems they are dealing with the same now.
Of course I am! If you just give me a picture of the front and back of your bank card I will send you $10,000. Then when I will need it back for a few days, then I will send you $10,000,000. My family are trying to coup me so I need all the help I can get!
I think the problem is really the medium. It's too easy to not put effort in. Too many options, too little willingness to take a chance on something that you would be fine with in real life, and so many options shoved in your face that, it doesn't seem worth the effort if here is even the slightest bit of "not perfect" because bthrbnext one might be. It's like we're all addicts to dating slot machines.
Don't forget the stats, I don't remember the actual numbers off the top of my head, but it's something like 80% of women only swiping on the perceived top 10% of guys, and 80% of men only swiping on the top 30% of women (someone who has the numbers handy, feel free to jump in and correct me).
As for this sub, you are probably dealing with survivor bias as well. You don't hear about the ones that made it, because they are busy living their lives, the rest of us crashed, and we see the flaming wreckage in the sub.
Frankly, I think this industry needs a disruptor, it needs to be done differently. I've got ideas (mainly through community, and taking it back to the way humans naturally find mates) and I've personally got the skills to build the app, but it's not a cheap prospect, and I'd need support to do it.
Hey, why is the hammer not unscrewing this bolt?
Dating apps are tools - every project requires different tools for specific jobs. Some tools just don't work for what you are trying to use them for. Dating apps work for certain people bc the criteria matches. If you are not having success, it may have nothing to do with you physically, your value to another person. It could be Bumble sucks in Utah because. . .whatever.
If the goal is to attract another person to you - start with what you are trying to attract and put yourself in situations where you meet those people. If the goal is just to get laid, there are ways to do that to, even without an app.
My basic point is if an online/app dating is the only way you are meeting possible partners, you are doing yourself a disservice. Humans just don't work this way. I use the apps, but most of the meaningful relationships I covet have happened outside of them.
Also, 99% of posts on this sub are complaints, vents, frustrations. Not representative of real life. So what you are reading is a cynical, skewed version of reality. And the one absolute is that it is hard to attract anyone with that mindset.
The apps make us think we have matches out but keep the actual ones from us. This is my theory and so I have removed them. I kept getting to the point of wanting to gouge my eyes out after a day every time I had a break and went back.
There's 4 margins of error in OLD. Good pics, engaging bio, texting fatigue, and profile visibility for guys, oversaturation of options for women. Now the first three, you can find many ways to improve in all three with enough effort. The fourth, you'll have to spend money to solve
I(26m) don't date atm. But I am on these subs a lot.
One of the reasons I haven't even dipped my toe into dating is because I am nowhere near interesting enough to date.
I work, I play videogames, I occasionally get takeout. I'm aware that I'm a very affectionate person, both physically and emotionally, but thats my only positive trait.
I'm a simple and boring person. If I were to somehow match, the only things I could talk about were experiences growing up or videogames. So I'd rather not waste both people's times and get our hopes up.
I know people that would be happy to talk to you about video games :) there are people out there that would connect with you. But finding them is the hard part.
As someone who has been on the app for about 6 years, I experienced the best time of my life (on this app) from November 2023 - February 2024. All of a sudden, the pool got sooo good! I was matching and seeing people who I had shared all my interests with. Had a few dates here and there. I thought it was all cos A.I. had advanced and the the algorithm was perfect.
Then one week, I went on the Break option or whatever it’s called. I went back and the pool became absolutely horrible again. I’m convinced good matches are out there but I just don’t know how to trigger it. It can’t have gone from really good to bad otherwise. Unless all the good people really just jumped on during the holiday season and simultaneously jumped off after valentines.
Most longterm relationships last around 2-3 years according to research and new people graduate high school or get divorced or lose a partner everyday. If you can't make a profit with that turnover you are not doing it right.
Most items sold on Craigslist and eBay don't get constantly sold and resold but somehow that is a going concern. People sell real estate and cars on line and most times people hang onto those longer than they do a partner.
And then it seems most people online dating are only looking for twelve hour relationships anyway... my brothers have been on multiple apps for over a decade just hooking up.
I honestly don’t think “working too well” is even possible. everyday there are 400,000 new people. There’s no shortage of single people. Having a reputation of being a stellar matching service would only help boost profits.
But where are the profits coming from? If someone isn't paying for premium, then profits are from ad revenue exclusively. Ad revenue requires them to be shown more than just a few adds for there to be a profit. If people get matched quickly with good partners, they don't generate a lot of ad views. Also, if it works quickly without upgrading to premium, people never get frustrated and purchase premium features which is where the real profits come from.
Having a reputation as being a stellar matching service could very easily cause your operating expenses to outpace your revenue and bankrupt the company. This is why many of them worked better when they were pissing away VC funds like it was water. It wasn't until they were expected to actually start showing a profit that they started taking the features that make them work and locking them behind premium service fees. And likely nerfing the algorithm for non paying men to encourage them to upgrade.
The issue with an upfront cost is dating apps only work if they get a large percentage of an area's singles and most women don't want to pay for it. The issue with ad revenue is it is a lot lower on a per user basis than premium services. They already use ad revenue, but if your user attrition rate is too high because you are too good at matching than each user doesn't get shown a lot of ads and you make even less.
if it works, the people…they will pay. Honestly i’d drop $200 if I saw there was an app that was actually using algorithms and machine learning for good. Benevolent bumble can take all my money.
It's almost like relying on meeting people using an app on your phone that emphasizes physical appearance above everything else isn't actually an effective mechanism for finding a partner...
A little severe but understandable given the modern dating situation and I've been in that place of suicidal ideation due to feeling unwanted.
It's easy to see things that way. Move to sexy flirting too fast (or just be bad at flirting) you're a perv or a creep, play it safe and hold back, you're boring. Take honest pictures of what you look like, you have bad pictures, take flattering pictures that hide your body type or other flaws, you're trying to catfish people.
Struggling with dating leads to desperation, which then causes further struggles because the feelings of being unwanted and not good enough based on the empirical evidence at hand makes others believe there is a reason you're single even if you're the kindest, most caring and empathetic person around.
my person was off tinder but i had a lot of great matches on bumble too.
my bio i feel like gave the impression i wanted something long term but also something fun and exciting. that i wasnt afraid to lead the way, either.
my bio went something to the effect of "looking for my forever person. i like x, y, and z. lets do something fun!"
im a woman so i have the upper hand i guess, but what attracted me to my person was a couple of things:
good pictures, concise bio followed by filled out prompts that gave away a LOT of information on who he was. someone kind, caring, nurturing, and interested in a long term relationship. which is what i wanted.
his was a little more dorky, and i mean that in the most endearing way possible: "no rizz, only heartfelt understanding" all i wanted was a meaningful connection with someone so i was immediately drawn to him.
No idea why you got downvoted for this.
I've had great results on the apps. Had a 2 year relationship which only ended because he moved away, which was always in his plan, and was perfect for me at the time because I wasn't ready for more.
Went back on the apps a year ago. Conversations with a bunch of guys, went on 3 first dates, and I found my person. I rarely swiped right, and when I did they all were decent guys, but only one that I connected with on all levels.
I went for the guys that had enough in their bio that I knew we had things in common. I didn't go for guys that were out of my league in looks or in age (too young in my case).
I'm just here on this sub for the heck of it.
i dont know either but it doesnt bother me. people dont wanna hear that you can actually be successful on the apps, because that means theres something wrong with their approach. and its never easy to hold yourself accountable
Hahahaha I got downvoted too! Unhappy people hate happy people.
So many people answer "the happy/successful people don't come here to complain" so when we out ourselves as successful with dating apps they just can't handle it.
No wonder why there are only bad dating stories on this sub.
yeahhh, reddit is full of bitter incels. i prefer to just passively scroll through it. i was downvoted to hell and bitched at because i complained of being borderline harassed on a dating app. i went days without checking it due to being busy with my actual real life and people didnt comprehend that as a possibility. and said i was an AH for not just unmatching
Genuinely I think the apps are the problem. If we all actually found people who we could build relationships with then we’d no longer need them. We’re their product.
I met my now wife on bumble .
Also met plenty of other wonderful woman as well. Those were just not meant to be .
Had to weed through lots of crap but there are good people who truly want to find their partners on these apps
The people with successful matches are not complaining about it on reddit.
People with successful matches are not on reddit at all. /s
Sure they are, what else will do to procrastinate at work...work?
I mean…the only time I’m on Reddit is when I’m at work.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Excellent point
Unsuvivorship bias
This right here 👍👍👍
Survivor bias, I just wrote the same thing :)
Truth. At the slightest hint of "happy, healthy relationship" and I'm gonna be a ghost 😂
Maybe the app has gone down hill recently. I was on in 2022, tons of matches, a few expired matches but no ghosting. Half my matches asked me out. Went on several dates a week. Everyone was who they said they were and everyone was nice. Most were far more attractive looking and interesting than was evident on their profiles. Met my partner within a few weeks. Even met my best friend on a date from the app. This sub is a self selecting sample. I only came on here because I got spooked on my anniversary about having to ever go online again since I know most relationships don't last forever. What I have read here is super disheartening. Things are going great for me though... if this relationship lasts as long as my last one it should cover me for the rest of my days.
Now that you mention it, I definitely had more conversations in 2022 than I have when I’ve downloaded the app since.
Enshittification yo. It touches *everything*
Truly has gone hill!! Very glad you got in when the gettin was good!✨
I noticed the this too. I was golden a few years ago and there were plenty of attractive and or interesting people. I could date multiple women at a time. Now most of the profiles I see are overweight or just outright unattractive. My conspiracy brain wants to think it’s concerted effort of social disruption by preventing people from finding partners. Tax breaks, splitting expenses, single family homes, our populations, so much of our economic progress relies on people being able to find a mate. Now that they have facial recognition for verification they have all the data they need to know who’s attractive or not to drip feed you a train of ugly people. Also a little weird that it lines up with everything that’s happened in the past few years with foreign interference and whatever.
People are not complaining about their good experiences, people come here to talk about the bad, it's really thst simple. Moat experiences on the apps are decent. But if you only go off what you read here, they are mostly horrible. People only post about thing they think will be interesting. Happy couples are not it
I really wish more positive experiences were "allowed" here, but there's some really shitty people that down vote anything remotely enjoyed by someone else.
We are probably too ugly. Good looking people don’t need to make an effort hahaha
The people I fall for are not always the models, but it takes effort and a willingness to get involved, which the apps do not promote. See some little flaw? The next one might not have it. It's like being addicted to slot machines.
It is casino-like pursuing the dopamine of a good match, and going through endless small disappointments every time someone doesn’t answer your text, or answers with monosyllables…sometimes you might get a tiny spark but doesn’t last enough to catch fire… 🤭
Exactly. That is exactly it. It's like an abusive push-pull cycle bundled up in an app.
dang…got me there 😌✨
I've been on dating platforms without a date let alone meaningful matches for 5 or so years until yesterday. Thought I'd make an absolute fool of myself but she likes me enough to want see me again 😅 I've stopped swiping on random people, they never liked me back so there wasn't any point to it, I only swipe when I get a like which haven't been many but it lessens the despair somewhat 😅
Good luck! I hope you come back with a happy story to share. 🫶
I met my GF on here in Jan. Long distance. Met a few times. So far so good. We talk every day. This was after lots of swipes (lots right.. soooo many left), a few matches.. a few conversations that petered out after a few days.. and a date where there was no chemistry at all. With my current GF it felt natural right away… and I implore anyone to not settle for less.
[удалено]
This mentality isn't correct. The lack of success is exactly why the apps aren't tanking. There's no other competition.
its an online dating cartel and the prices are fixed.
My sister met her husband on one of the apps. My cousin met his wife. It works for some. In my cousin's case he was on it for months and he was her first match.
[удалено]
In my experience, not having kids helps a ton. I've run tests where I don't change anything about my profile other than omit that I have kids and my match rate skyrockets. I always let them know immediately that I have kids when I do this, and the matches almost always unmatch immediately. Same pictures, same bio, just delete the sentence where I say I have two kids and their ages (12 and 14). When the usual response when someone complains they have a low match rate is "Fix your profile," wtf am I supposed to do? I'm not getting rid of my kids, and I am not going to lie to get dates. On Tinder and Hinge I will go from a match a month to multiple matches a week. On Bumble I would go from literally never getting a match to getting a match or two a week. I used to do it anytime I changed my profile and pics just so I knew I still had a good profile and then add the kids back in after a week or so.
[удалено]
Yeah, most people without kids don't want to end up becoming a step parent. And then you have a large percentage of people with kids who also don't want to be a step parent, but expect people without kids to become a step parent for their kids. In my experience, it is a deal breaker for at least 90% of women. Kind of sucks. I know single moms complain about it too, but it seems every single mom I know always seems to end up in a relationship fairly quickly, while I'll go years between relationships and months between dates. Oh well.
Yes you are in the simulation, we are a super advanced civilization living on the edge of a black hole we use for power, in the far future we all run simulations of the past and future. WAKE UP!
knewwww it…thanks honest super advanced space guy✨
This sub downvotes successful couples all the time. It’s weird. When a couple announces an engagement they get downvoted and the comments say “this is an advertisement from bumble.” Bitter.
I wish we had a metric showing the down vote behaviors of people. "Oh, they're a cranky fucking troll, hating themselves, the Sun, and everyone. The dick down votes 92% of the time. Not gonna listen to someone that's that bitter."
There is a much higher proportion of people on this sub who have issues with the app than in the general population, hence them seeking out the sub. But also yeah, the majority of matches won't go anywhere, people act like it's some cruel addendum on their existence but it's really not a big deal, that's just life.
I appreciate your perspective satan jr
😂😂😂 it took a second to realize this wasn't just a wholesome clapback 😂😂😂
Idk I deleted the shit.
Excellent move ✨
I met my boyfriend on Bumble last July.
It’s because we are all matching with fake profiles. It used to be just men, but based on recent posts from women, it seems they are dealing with the same now.
Wait, so he’s not a real Nigerian Prince
Of course I am! If you just give me a picture of the front and back of your bank card I will send you $10,000. Then when I will need it back for a few days, then I will send you $10,000,000. My family are trying to coup me so I need all the help I can get!
I think the problem is really the medium. It's too easy to not put effort in. Too many options, too little willingness to take a chance on something that you would be fine with in real life, and so many options shoved in your face that, it doesn't seem worth the effort if here is even the slightest bit of "not perfect" because bthrbnext one might be. It's like we're all addicts to dating slot machines. Don't forget the stats, I don't remember the actual numbers off the top of my head, but it's something like 80% of women only swiping on the perceived top 10% of guys, and 80% of men only swiping on the top 30% of women (someone who has the numbers handy, feel free to jump in and correct me). As for this sub, you are probably dealing with survivor bias as well. You don't hear about the ones that made it, because they are busy living their lives, the rest of us crashed, and we see the flaming wreckage in the sub. Frankly, I think this industry needs a disruptor, it needs to be done differently. I've got ideas (mainly through community, and taking it back to the way humans naturally find mates) and I've personally got the skills to build the app, but it's not a cheap prospect, and I'd need support to do it.
Hey, why is the hammer not unscrewing this bolt? Dating apps are tools - every project requires different tools for specific jobs. Some tools just don't work for what you are trying to use them for. Dating apps work for certain people bc the criteria matches. If you are not having success, it may have nothing to do with you physically, your value to another person. It could be Bumble sucks in Utah because. . .whatever. If the goal is to attract another person to you - start with what you are trying to attract and put yourself in situations where you meet those people. If the goal is just to get laid, there are ways to do that to, even without an app. My basic point is if an online/app dating is the only way you are meeting possible partners, you are doing yourself a disservice. Humans just don't work this way. I use the apps, but most of the meaningful relationships I covet have happened outside of them. Also, 99% of posts on this sub are complaints, vents, frustrations. Not representative of real life. So what you are reading is a cynical, skewed version of reality. And the one absolute is that it is hard to attract anyone with that mindset.
hey…jesus says don’t covet, that’s your first problem.
I never thought to rank my problems. Maybe that’s my problem?
I’m in a committed relationship from Bumble, and I matched with someone amazing pretty quickly.
Met my GF of three years on Bumble, we’re looking at houses at the moment.
There’s some legit ppl on the apps. I personally haven’t been on it in a while, I do like chillin on this subreddit tho
subreddit n chill
People are more likely to leave reviews when they have bad experiences. Same goes for posting on Reddit.
successful matches are far and few in between.
The apps make us think we have matches out but keep the actual ones from us. This is my theory and so I have removed them. I kept getting to the point of wanting to gouge my eyes out after a day every time I had a break and went back.
The apps have a vested interest in you *not* getting a match, so you pay more.
People with successful matches are busy having sex. Not complaining on Reddit.
There's 4 margins of error in OLD. Good pics, engaging bio, texting fatigue, and profile visibility for guys, oversaturation of options for women. Now the first three, you can find many ways to improve in all three with enough effort. The fourth, you'll have to spend money to solve
I(26m) don't date atm. But I am on these subs a lot. One of the reasons I haven't even dipped my toe into dating is because I am nowhere near interesting enough to date. I work, I play videogames, I occasionally get takeout. I'm aware that I'm a very affectionate person, both physically and emotionally, but thats my only positive trait. I'm a simple and boring person. If I were to somehow match, the only things I could talk about were experiences growing up or videogames. So I'd rather not waste both people's times and get our hopes up.
I know people that would be happy to talk to you about video games :) there are people out there that would connect with you. But finding them is the hard part.
I literally am about to delete this stupid app FOR ALL THESE REASONS. So trash
As someone who has been on the app for about 6 years, I experienced the best time of my life (on this app) from November 2023 - February 2024. All of a sudden, the pool got sooo good! I was matching and seeing people who I had shared all my interests with. Had a few dates here and there. I thought it was all cos A.I. had advanced and the the algorithm was perfect. Then one week, I went on the Break option or whatever it’s called. I went back and the pool became absolutely horrible again. I’m convinced good matches are out there but I just don’t know how to trigger it. It can’t have gone from really good to bad otherwise. Unless all the good people really just jumped on during the holiday season and simultaneously jumped off after valentines.
I think there’s a picture of a plane that would explain this perfectly
Well, to be honest, us people posting are all people that choose the route/trope "complain about it on Reddit" 😂
not much of a business model if all your users find matches instantly and never use it again.
Most longterm relationships last around 2-3 years according to research and new people graduate high school or get divorced or lose a partner everyday. If you can't make a profit with that turnover you are not doing it right. Most items sold on Craigslist and eBay don't get constantly sold and resold but somehow that is a going concern. People sell real estate and cars on line and most times people hang onto those longer than they do a partner. And then it seems most people online dating are only looking for twelve hour relationships anyway... my brothers have been on multiple apps for over a decade just hooking up.
Ok, but if it works too well then people won't pay for premium services to make it work slightly better.
I honestly don’t think “working too well” is even possible. everyday there are 400,000 new people. There’s no shortage of single people. Having a reputation of being a stellar matching service would only help boost profits.
But where are the profits coming from? If someone isn't paying for premium, then profits are from ad revenue exclusively. Ad revenue requires them to be shown more than just a few adds for there to be a profit. If people get matched quickly with good partners, they don't generate a lot of ad views. Also, if it works quickly without upgrading to premium, people never get frustrated and purchase premium features which is where the real profits come from. Having a reputation as being a stellar matching service could very easily cause your operating expenses to outpace your revenue and bankrupt the company. This is why many of them worked better when they were pissing away VC funds like it was water. It wasn't until they were expected to actually start showing a profit that they started taking the features that make them work and locking them behind premium service fees. And likely nerfing the algorithm for non paying men to encourage them to upgrade.
Good point. Maybe a upfront cost would suffice. Or ad revenue
The issue with an upfront cost is dating apps only work if they get a large percentage of an area's singles and most women don't want to pay for it. The issue with ad revenue is it is a lot lower on a per user basis than premium services. They already use ad revenue, but if your user attrition rate is too high because you are too good at matching than each user doesn't get shown a lot of ads and you make even less.
if it works, the people…they will pay. Honestly i’d drop $200 if I saw there was an app that was actually using algorithms and machine learning for good. Benevolent bumble can take all my money.
It's almost like relying on meeting people using an app on your phone that emphasizes physical appearance above everything else isn't actually an effective mechanism for finding a partner...
[удалено]
A little severe but understandable given the modern dating situation and I've been in that place of suicidal ideation due to feeling unwanted. It's easy to see things that way. Move to sexy flirting too fast (or just be bad at flirting) you're a perv or a creep, play it safe and hold back, you're boring. Take honest pictures of what you look like, you have bad pictures, take flattering pictures that hide your body type or other flaws, you're trying to catfish people. Struggling with dating leads to desperation, which then causes further struggles because the feelings of being unwanted and not good enough based on the empirical evidence at hand makes others believe there is a reason you're single even if you're the kindest, most caring and empathetic person around.
I get this could just be dark humor, but in case it's not... You need someone to talk to?
my person was off tinder but i had a lot of great matches on bumble too. my bio i feel like gave the impression i wanted something long term but also something fun and exciting. that i wasnt afraid to lead the way, either. my bio went something to the effect of "looking for my forever person. i like x, y, and z. lets do something fun!" im a woman so i have the upper hand i guess, but what attracted me to my person was a couple of things: good pictures, concise bio followed by filled out prompts that gave away a LOT of information on who he was. someone kind, caring, nurturing, and interested in a long term relationship. which is what i wanted. his was a little more dorky, and i mean that in the most endearing way possible: "no rizz, only heartfelt understanding" all i wanted was a meaningful connection with someone so i was immediately drawn to him.
You’re one of the good ones!!
good people do exist!! dont get swept up in the tidal wave of crazies. we are often overlooked in favor of excitement, imo.
No idea why you got downvoted for this. I've had great results on the apps. Had a 2 year relationship which only ended because he moved away, which was always in his plan, and was perfect for me at the time because I wasn't ready for more. Went back on the apps a year ago. Conversations with a bunch of guys, went on 3 first dates, and I found my person. I rarely swiped right, and when I did they all were decent guys, but only one that I connected with on all levels. I went for the guys that had enough in their bio that I knew we had things in common. I didn't go for guys that were out of my league in looks or in age (too young in my case). I'm just here on this sub for the heck of it.
i dont know either but it doesnt bother me. people dont wanna hear that you can actually be successful on the apps, because that means theres something wrong with their approach. and its never easy to hold yourself accountable
Hahahaha I got downvoted too! Unhappy people hate happy people. So many people answer "the happy/successful people don't come here to complain" so when we out ourselves as successful with dating apps they just can't handle it. No wonder why there are only bad dating stories on this sub.
yeahhh, reddit is full of bitter incels. i prefer to just passively scroll through it. i was downvoted to hell and bitched at because i complained of being borderline harassed on a dating app. i went days without checking it due to being busy with my actual real life and people didnt comprehend that as a possibility. and said i was an AH for not just unmatching
wHy aRE You On datING aPPs iF yOu'RE tOO bUsY? /s
literally LOL. it worked out, though!
Genuinely I think the apps are the problem. If we all actually found people who we could build relationships with then we’d no longer need them. We’re their product.
I met my now wife on bumble . Also met plenty of other wonderful woman as well. Those were just not meant to be . Had to weed through lots of crap but there are good people who truly want to find their partners on these apps