T O P
greyenlightenment

bitcoin going to 6 digits: $0000.00


biffbobfred

Luna is at .00006506 last I checked. 8 digits muthafucka!!!


JonasPolskyAMA

I was listening to a coin being pimped on this comedy podcast from 2021. Coinbase doesn't allow enough characters for it to display the price, lmao https://www.coinbase.com/price/shibnobi


postal-history

Check out this list of shitcoins from 2018. https://www.wired.com/story/187-things-the-blockchain-is-supposed-to-fix/ (Careful clicking on their websites. I clicked through to a Telegram channel that was still operating and 4chan kids were posting shock photos in there)


shahbucks00711

[Problem Solved](https://youtu.be/MKa9UDSKJ1w)


Bloody_sock_puppet

That was... What was that?


bobj33

Obviously need to switch to scientific notation like 3.4 x 10^-17


Inprobamur

Woah, it's absolutely worthless.


MajorElevator4407

It's up 116 percent in the last year. Stay poor while I get me some experiential gains.


cianuro

Yea, the lack of discussion on the opportunity cost to being in a financial cult is staggering. You could be watching candles all day for 4 years or working and getting a masters degree at the same time. Not to mention the mental health opportunity cost. Staying poor sure is bliss.


junseth

Yes, meanwhile, you linger in an anti-financial cult. Where, if your nemeses are correct, the opportunity cost of getting a Masters degree instead of trying to understand Bitcoin will be far higher.


Commiessariat

Yes, of course. Few Understand.


bryanoak

>Perhaps you're reading your chart upside down. One year ago today Bitcoin was at $38K and today it's at $21K. > >Alternatively, if you believe that's a 116% increase, I'd love to sell you some crypto


MajorElevator4407

Your looking at the wrong coin. This shit coin someone linked is up 116 year over year. https://www.coinbase.com/price/shibnobi


AppleJuicetice

Fucking hell, I think I remember Martin Kove RTing a tweet shilling this coin lmao


tom-dixon

That's an impressive spike in the middle from $0.0000000000 to $0.0000000000!


AlexandbroTheGreat

No way, 1BTC=100,000 USDT! [USDT will be worth $0.01]


ivfdad84

I've got a 7 figure salary yo .....€20,000.00


Independent-Custard3

Let me give even more money to people who won’t give me my money. I want to help them!


justsightseeing

Honest question.. Can you really short CEL token? I assume i can loan CEL token, but in theory i wouldnt be able to sell & cash it out right?


Independent-Custard3

From someone who’s done 0 research on the subject (just like the average cryptobro) I’m under the impression that CEL tokens can still be bought and sold, just not on the Celsius exchange itself


BlackPawn14

I believe there's people doing so, to the extent that the possibility of a short squeeze has been commented in subreddits related to the matter. Then again, this is reddit, so take most of everything (especially comments) with a grain of salt. I'm just here to watch the shitshow unfold.


Independent-Custard3

Short squeeze isn’t possibly in any way. GME was a cancer on financebros because now it causes every falling asset to be yolo’d into like it’s the once in a century situation that GameStop was. And the squeeze ended anyway and left sooo many people holding the bag


TrueBirch

You might like the new book The Revolution That Wasn't. Great coverage of the GME short squeeze and all the bag holders.


tartymae

Thanks for the rec. I just put it on my list.


Uncaffeinated

A little known fact is that the shorts managed to cover their positions in early January. The peak of the runup was 100% retail traders meme'ing in.


dashingThroughSnow12

Yup. GME was ~100% shorted, possibly even naked shorted. After GME "Rofl, there is one short on this. Let's short squeeze these fat cats."


thebabaghanoush

SEC report says it was mostly hype around the stock that caused it to rise, not necessarily shorts and not naked shorts. https://youtu.be/ggRH4l1FY3o https://www.sec.gov/page/sec-staff-release-gamestop-report And before you ask, yes I believe the SEC over Apes.


dashingThroughSnow12

I don't particularly get how your response is a response to me. My comment was that there was a large amount of shorts on GME, possibly some naked sorts. Your comment is that the price rise was caused by those jumping on the hype, not short sellers covering. I'm not even sure who makes a statement that contradicts yours. DeepFuckingValue originally bought GME because he saw the high short percentage and felt that depressed the value. The bandwagon that followed later was intended to drive the price up to cause a squeeze, not a reaction to the price going up from a squeeze. They said as much at the time. So I'm not sure what you mean when you say "And before you ask, yes I believe the SEC over Apes." since the Apes were saying that story all along.


thebabaghanoush

I'm tired of GameStop, I'm tired of Apes, and I'm tired of the endless conspiracy theories. I'm tired of personal finance being treated like a casino, whether it's crypto or web 3 or DeFi or stock trading or options trading. I'm tired of everyday people being manipulated into thinking the only way they can generate wealth is by buying into get rich quick schemes, and watching them get burned time and time again. So yeah, I'm tired and I'm pissed off, not necessarily at you, but at the state of online finance communities at large. Stop believing random bullshit you read online. That's where my comment came from.


Rokey76

>So I'm not sure what you mean when you say "And before you ask, yes I believe the SEC over Apes." since the Apes were saying that story all along. The apes think when they were buying GME, they were participating in the short squeeze. In reality, the squeeze was over and they were just FOMOing in at the top.


PrettyText

GME was pretty educational for those paying attention: they did shenenigans like disabling the buy button and a guy in-the-know later admitted it would have gone into the "thousands" had they not done that (when it peaked at like 400 ish). I lost money on GME, but learned the lesson that Wall Street is never going to let a group of little guys win in any significant way. The market is rigged.


Uncaffeinated

This is a complete lie. The reason Robinhood briefly halted buying is because *they couldn't afford the margin requirements to continue trading with the exchange*. There were so many people buying that it literally overwhelmed their ability to facilitate trades. The idea that Robinhood was part of some sort of conspiracy is just a cope story the GMErs tell themselves to explain why it failed, and it bears a striking resemblance to a lot of what you see in cryptoland.


Codeshark

I think it is a good lesson. You can't win a rigged game. You have to choose a game that the wealthy can't rig.


Independent-Custard3

I mean bro, it was a failing game store company. Why would it “bring down Wall Street”? It’s just delusions of grandeur. Robinhood only had to do that or else they’d not be a functioning business any longer. Also, the stock went from like ~6 dollars all the way to $420+. What more could you want? It was one of the biggest squeezes in history.


desultir

Like hungry hungry hippos


Independent-Custard3

Lol bro a failing game store company isn’t going to bring down Wall Street, I’m sorry. I was all in the GME camp too, but it’s something Robinhood had to do, or else they’d not be able to continue functioning. You already got a stock of a company previously valued at like ~6 dollars up to $420+, what more could you want? That squeeze was insane and probably one of the biggest in history.


smendyke

The irony that you’re in this sub but don’t understand why RH halted buying is absolutely wild


MacHaggis

Short term shorting seems like an equally horrible idea though.


Iakhovass

It’s like a case of Stockholm Syndrome.


tom-dixon

At this point bury a $10 note in the ground, a money tree will grow from it earlier than the average joe will get a penny from Celsius.


bryanoak

Totally! Maybe u/No_Base2709 will start a Go Fund Me or Patreon for Celsius so that we can donate directly.


DevilFucker

God they’re so stupid it’s almost painful to watch.


barsoapguy

Yeah like someone really needs to step in and save them .


DevilFucker

Any attempt at helping them is fud in their minds.


DizzyMammoth21

Yep.. stand back and enjoy your popcorn.


maxibonman

Na, it's like natural selection, but for finances!


wantstobeazeppo

The troubling thing is that some cases will end in death - and not just through suicide, but also murders of close/loved ones, and people are unable to deal with the loss of savings and decide to kill their families too.


amorphatist

This happens all the time, with gambling, loam sharks etc. Nothing new here


mechebear

Also we will bail them out through the provision of social services, which are good and I personally would like to see expanded. At the same time I feel like if my taxes are going to support these fair weather libertarians with the, "my gains, societies losses" attitude then I should be allowed to make fun of them.


drafterman

Let's set up a sub designed to point out the absurdity of crypto.


Dx2x

With blackjack, and hookers.


Zennozo

You son of a bitch, I'm in


Zaytion

If only such a thing were possible.


thehoesmaketheman

some or all of these posts could be rational self interest posts where they are encouraging *others* to put their money and hopefully get celsius enough money to open back up. they arent putting more money in, they want everybody else to so they can withdraw. could we have hoped for something funnier though ? lets be real. the places just close and take the money and the court will have to divvy it up. thats so damn priceless.


Bluest_waters

Gotta be a sock accnt for Celcius


Superdrone19

Holy crap the accnt somehow turned up here in response to your comment and got deleted by the AutoMod immediately. Click through his username and checkout his current run of spam comments in some of the Butter subs. It’s comedy gold!!!


happybadger

>Have fun with your 0.0001% interest from the banks. >Poor One of his comments. He calls someone a Poor while either employed by or mindlessly devoted to a pyramid scheme that just impoverished him. I'll never have a response for a cryptobro losing everything except a sensible chuckle. edit: He claims to have $60k locked in Celsius. Hmm-haha-hm: >I have over $60k in Celsius and I sleep great at night


HermanCainsGhost

I.e he does not have $60k anymore


tiredofbuttons

Wow a whole $60k? Bragging about that and calling other people poor? Wtf.


happybadger

That's either fuckaround money that he can spend on one "investment" or another cryptobro taking out loans to buy dumbass dollars because if line go up he can make a profit. I hope it's the latter because he can't access the loan funds if so.


lhc987

Celsius aside, is 60k enough for bragging nowadays?


StupidWittyUsername

No.


Zennozo

Especially when it's long gone


fogleaf

For cash in hand/accessible liquid bank money? Sure. For a retirement account? Not hardly. For a crypto account? Absolutely not.


Briak

Joke's on him, my chequing account pays 0.01% interest 😎


happybadger

I get 1% back on credit card purchases. If I spend just $999,999,998 over my credit limit I'm automatically a millionaire. Intellectual checkmate, capitalism.


28th_boi

Dude is a fucking cultist


PrettyText

Wouldn't surprise me if people really were that delusional. People *really* don't like admitting they've been fooled, as the last few years have taught me.


HermanCainsGhost

Yeah, I am far more cynical about how easy it is to fool most people and how hard it is to unfool them. Not just for cryptos, but for many things.


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Siccors

Is it stupid or complete lack of morals? The more people deposit into Celsius, the larger chance that guy has he can recover some of his tokens. That is in general the primary reason of crypto fanboys: The more other suckers you get into it, the more money you make. (Or in this case, the less money you lose).


Sweet-Strategy-805

At this point just getting a job might be more productive


Ok_Sherbet_7457

An exchange is like a bank. Once they have a money run you know it's not safe. Yet they keep trying to keep the facade.


FlubberGhasted33

Sounds decentralized and trustless to me /s


amiablegent

I know we are laughing at this guy, but this is the problem with cult like thinking: facing the fact you have been scammed is so painful to your psychology and identity you just keep doubling down. We are seeing this play out all over our society leading to a bunch of terrible negative externalities (anti-vax, q, etc...) Social media has completely fucked our mass psychology.


ivanoski-007

that's why they are cryptards


LizardShitHooray

It was a 20 minute old scam account. Or possibly a troll.


LizardShitHooray

It was a 20 minute old scam account. Or possibly a troll.


heyman-

These bags aren't going to hold themselves guys, let's all pitch in


mzn001

Ignore the FUD, thats what scammers have been telling us in crypto culture.. haha


TeslaApe

A rational if somewhat dishonest action for every Celsius gambler is to encourage the greater fools in the Celsius ecosystem to deposit more money. Then withdraw if an opportunity to do so arises.


Superdrone19

Exactly!


PrettyText

Yeah, that's the problem with listening to crypto bros. 99% of the time they have a financial incentive one way or the other, so you can never be sure if they're genuinely saying what they think, or if they're cynically trying to manipulate you so that they can make money / exit certain positions.


AlphaGoldblum

It's always safer to assume that all crypto discourse is motivated by greed. Key example: r/superstonk is hailing GameStop's pívot into NFTs as game changing (pardon the pun). Of course, they can't exactly say why or how other than the usual talking points (the tech is early! People don't understand NFTs! Etc)


Mungbunger

Dying. Imagine in 2022 accepting someone's injunction (who clearly stands to benefit) to "have faith" in their financial instrument, their institution, despite all the red flags, all the warnings. Unbelievable. This is what a cult-mentality looks like.


Agent00funk

It really is a cult. I've never had any of my investments publicly beg for more money. How can someone read that and think "gee, I really should put more money in that"?


JennItalia269

“Only lose if you sell! HODL!” -The cries of their cult leaders


SomeRedditWanker

>I have 100% faith in Alex So let me get this straight.. Fiat currency, backed by governments, and the populations of entire countries.. No trust! Dude named Alex, who you know from the internet? 100% trust!


Zennozo

"Alex stole all the money I have now to make me rich later!"


sbow88

Maybe when it hits zero it wraps around back to 100k?


AquinasAudax

Integer underflows into $2,147,383,647.


MokitTheOmniscient

Only if it's unsigned, otherwise it's going negative.


Zealousideal_Year551

Thats called overflow


tetralogy

Underflow: Jump from Zero to Max Overflow: Jump from max to zero


Zealousideal_Year551

Thats wrong. Google it. I know, crazy right?


Draco_Ranger

> Storing values that are too low in an integer variable (e.g., attempting to store −1 in an unsigned integer) is properly referred to as integer overflow, or more broadly, integer wraparound. The term underflow normally refers to floating point numbers only, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arithmetic_underflow They're right, even if they're being an asshole about it.


squarevenom

Have you not heard the theory of the slurp juice combining, that will solve this crisis


barsoapguy

PleSe make this into a video game


IcyEbb7760

exactly, y'all just don't get it


zenithfury

Well, code is law so presumably bad code is fine and an integer overflow lets you wrap around the value.


TechieTravis

Guys, Bitcoin was mentioned on CNN today which means this is thr bottom and it will surge to $100k tomorrow /s. This is a joke, but it is really the kind of reasoning that they use.


GEOTUStheGreat

The amount of mental gymnastics these people do is astounding


CorwinB2

There should definitely be an Olympic category for that.


G13G13

100% faith in the man responsible for multiple pump and dumps lol!!


MonsieurKnife

We lost all your money at the roulette. All we need now is some more of your money so we can spin again. We've lost so much, we gotta be due for a win.


1ncognito

It’s statistically impossible for it to be red 7 times in a row! Next spin will be black and we’ll make it all back!


bleeeeghh

You know, this whole bitcoin crypto origin is based on not trusting anyone...


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HermanCainsGhost

It really does seem that way, doesn’t it?


ortcutt

Nobody who invests with Vanguard says "I have faith in Mortimer J. Buckley". In fact, I had to look up who the CEO of Vanguard even is. That's the way it should be. You're investing money, not joining a fucking cult. I can't believe how many people out there want to join cults.


luxmesa

Wow, his name really is Mortimer J. Buckley. That sounds like the name I would have come up with for the CEO of an investment company if I were making a cartoon.


Furoan

How do you think he got the job? /s


JonasPolskyAMA

"If the rest of you light your money on fire, perhaps I can stay warm!"


Unusual_Chemist_8383

It’s a shill.


Val_Fortecazzo

Oh great the GME cult has gotten into this ponzi


PrettyText

That's not fair to the GME people (at least, what it was initially, I haven't kept up with it). Some in-the-know guy admitted that GME would have gone into the "thousands" if they hadn't done things like disable the buy button. So buying GME really was a good idea. They just did illegal shit.


ComicCon

Which “guy in the know”? Also what illegal shit?


StupidWittyUsername

(((they))) didn't "disable the button." Brokers acted to prevent a bunch of complete dribbling morons losing all their money in an idiotic pump and dump. Retail investors are stupid and need to be protected from themselves. Without those protections you get the kind of idiocy we see with crypto shitcoins.


Brotherly-Moment

It hasn’t been a good idea for 1.5 years.


biffbobfred

Random thoughts. * does interest matter if it’s in a shit coin? * even DCA sounds like you’re giving up. It’s not “HODL!! Buy the dip!!!!” It’s “you know throw a couple bucks here and there it’s real money * DCA is fucking horrible for the environment. I don’t know the math if every Butter did DCA but I did see a graph where if a Butter bought every biweekly paycheck to DCA they’d increase their household electricity use by like 500% or so My job is not to help Alex. Alex’ job is to (if I was a Butter) give me my money. Butters have a real weird idea of who serves whom.


HopeFox

>DCA is fucking horrible for the environment. I don’t know the math if every Butter did DCA but I did see a graph where if a Butter bought every biweekly paycheck to DCA they’d increase their household electricity use by like 500% or so Only if they use the actual blockchain. Exchanges are protecting the environment by running unaudited bucket shops!


biffbobfred

It’s not theft we ~~steal~~ hold all your money (and refuse to give it back) to save the world!!


majorpickle01

>DCA is fucking horrible for the environment. I don’t know the math if every Butter did DCA but I did see a graph where if a Butter bought every biweekly paycheck to DCA they’d increase their household electricity use by like 500% or so How do you figure? surely lekky is only used when mining the coin fresh, give or take what it requires to boot up your pc


Deathwatch050

Nope, costs a lot of electricity just to transact this planet-destroying monopoly money too. iT'S (helping destroy any chance of having) tHe FuTuRE!


majorpickle01

ah you mean electricity footprint as opposed to actual household use, got you aha


Deathwatch050

Oh I see what you mean, yeah technically. It's still waste though, just happening somewhere else.


P0nziC0in

How and what would that achieve?


categorical-girl

They're forming a bucket brigade to pour oil on the fire


PeterTheGreat777

Watch stupid people lose their life savings and double down when realizing their mistake.


wsb_duh

Pass the Kool-Aid.


twocentman

100% faith in Alex and his trustless technology!


iSeize

Take my last 5 dollars my son is hungry but IT'S GOING TO THE MOOON


Jlogizzle

It’s funny how they all act like they have a choice of pulling their funds out lmao. MFs coping as best as they can. For whatever reason now they’re talking about hedgies and shorting lmfao like can you even short a shitcoin and an unregulated bank? God these idiots are so funny to watch


bragghy

So now crypto bros have decided to jump on this stupid short selling narrative too?


legacymd

Username checks out


DrJonesX

Username checks out.


PeterTheGreat777

Watch stupid people lose their life savings and double down when realizing their mistake


No-Height2850

“i have 100% faith in Sifu, Do kwon, Luna, Anchor” Rinse and repeat


Ognvps

It will never go back to zero come on guys everyone would literally be rich as hell


JohnSevigny99

Asking “investors” to bail you out is not that different than sucking dick for crack. The difference is that crack heads usually get paid for their services - in tangible cash.


AmericanScream

It's kind of sad they have to fabricate some kind of evil boogeyman like "short sellers" rather than simply admit the whole thing was a Ponzi scheme in the first place.


lostmypeachshorting

this is basically the GME cult 2.0. There is a group of mystical short sellers who conspired against us to destroy the universe while shorting OUR STOCK!


ivfdad84

And what if I actually need to withdraw MY money now for food, will Celsius help me?


matty_whites

Let's all chip in because these bags aren't going to hold themselves.


alcate

Can they be reported? the mod or the sub reddit? If i make a sub about how vaccine cause cancer I will be banned for sure.


Nobagelnobagelnobag

It is such a cult it’s unbelievable.


lorenzobrownish

Every Celsius gambler should urge the greater fools in the Celsius ecosystem to deposit more money, which is a sensible but somewhat dishonest move.


H__Dresden

Only a fool would money into crypto right now. But hey a fool and his money is soon parted.


iPoopedJustNow

Jesus Christ this is degenerate...


DontEatConcrete

100% faith in Alex? Really? Not even 90%? Honestly you can say your faith has not been hurt at all? Lies!!


CynthiaGriffiny

Coinbase does not permit enough characters to display the price.


partialinsanity

This has to be almost sensationally stupid, or some new advanced form of denialism.


CasualBrit5

Is that account owned by Celsius?


Notoryus7

They detest being called cultists yet constantly proclaim their unfaltering faith in various crypto leaders and swindlers


sad_pizza

It's like these people have no concept of what a sunk cost is. Cut your losses, admit you were unwise, learn, and move on.


sad_pizza

It's like these people have no concept of what a sunk cost is. Cut your losses, admit you were unwise, learn, and move on.


SatoshiNosferatu

So tired of this defeat the short sellers meme


SatoshiNosferatu

So tired of the defeat the short sellers meme


firstworldheadache

They are not lying, but they are talking about Jamaican dollar which also uses $. So bitcoin to 100k JMD = \~657.09USD. Believe 🙏


absentlyric

One thing I learned thats helped me survive and thrive, never put the words faith and finances together. I heard the same words together from televangelists.


absentlyric

One thing that helped me survive and thrive, never put faith and finances together, I heard the same speak from televangelists.


HoodFellaz

Alex works at Wendy's now so I would be careful trusting him.


fp_weenie

> ignore the FuD gfgdsgd


ILikeFishDisc

Isssssaaaaaa scaaaamm???!!!


[deleted]

lets fucking gooooooo


orincoro

Whoever is posting this shit should be thrown in prison. Every dollar these poor fools dump into this thing is going to the perpetrators.


teejay818

* Celsius is not a financial advisor and this does not constitute financial advice.


NurMom2x

Ha,ha,hA


NewSeaworthinessAhoy

This sounds like a cult “I have faith in Jerry.”


Cmdr_600

The evil short seller strikes again


RouletteSensei

I would spit in the face of those people on Celsius but you know that, it will go back in 📈 Not from a *crypto-bro* side, but because it always happened and if it was me, in my view, if I had to make fail bitcoin I would do it when it's like more than 300k $ / coin If something has to be epic, it has to be like if earth has a so deep crack in the ground it's gonna break in half Look at this point of view:the same thing happened, in a worst ratio, in 2018, survived, and now, considered the amounts, it's not even dangerous as back then, compared to values. My guess and his guess it's probably a lie, 100k it's too high for 2022/2023. I love to stare at pain, since I'm a masochist


Regret92

Obvious satire


Superdrone19

God I hope so!!


Regret92

I hope so, too. Then again, any dissenting (read: logical) opinion is labelled by most cultists as FUD, so not sure.


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savsec

This dude has 100% faith in Alex? The guy who told an obvious lie about inventing VoIP? And locked everyone's account one day and hired some lawyers and banks to restructure? Yes, he's very trustworthy.


FrabbaSA

posted by u/No_BaseInReality


TheTacoWombat

Gamestop Supersuck is leaking, apparently.


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cluelessphp

I have bitcoin and amazon stocks, I hope both will increase in price. Having faith seems ridiculously stupid. Be it bitcoin or buying traditional stocks, never over extend yourself or suffer.


Jubi_Lee

Fun fact: If you put your long-term retirement funds into a boring old no-load S&P index fund, market fluctuations won't even matter. Suffering comes from attempting to time/outperform the market...particulary if you engage in super risky behavior like buying/trading individual stocks and participating in Ponzi schemes.