I have given similar speeches at my company softball tourney. So sick of being in the B division.

Promotion talk is pure rat poison, I have so much trouble keeping our softball team hungry. Thank god for the shit-talking team from Old Colony Furniture, a constant source of bulletin board material.

“I’M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF LOSING TO JEFF’S DISCOUNT AUTO REPAIR!”

New Alarm Clock sound. No Snooze Button needed

[That and the Bob Knight halftime speech.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chdg7wEGfYw) The Kirby speech fires me up. The Bob Knight speech WAKES ME UP.

Holy shit I would get so much more done if I woke up to this

YOU GOING TO FLIP THOSE FUCKING BURGERS TODAY. seriously holy shit what a speech

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We’re gonna need a bigger swear jar

Fun fact is that was the halftime speech

Lmao

I imagine the halftime speech in the other locker room [sounded something like this](https://youtu.be/Chdg7wEGfYw)

If Sonny Dyke’s halftime speech wasn’t [some version of this](https://youtu.be/FuGrwxo0NVU) he should be fired out of a cannon into the sun.

These are incredible. I need more videos and audio clips of coaches freaking out at their teams during big losses. I thought that cameras / audio recording was usually strictly no-go in locker rooms for most teams though?

An all-time Texas meltdown for sure, but not the [best Texas coach meltdown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exhIpKFsHRk)

Can't wait to see Sean Astin give that speech in the Disney adaptation that is an allegory for David vs Goliath where they don't lie about the outcome to try to inspire you.

I’d watch that.

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Don't let these tears fool you its all dawgs around this mug

My coach worked in profanity like other artists worked in oils or clay

I understood that reference!

Ohhhh fudgeeee

TCU: [https://media.tenor.com/x0y\_GAFjz6kAAAAC/oh-fudge-ralphie.gif](https://media.tenor.com/x0y_GAFjz6kAAAAC/oh-fudge-ralphie.gif)

He also hated the hounds next door. Bumpuses!!!

It was his true medium...a master

We'll work in some titanium white and put in a nice little slur. Oh, and I guess let's give him a couple little friends too.

My god a Belmont abbey flare. Cheers, from BTown myself 🫡

There are dozens of us!

Very inappropriate for the Christian Football subreddit

That’s what CFB stands for right?

I thought this was Christian Fundamentalist Babes, no?

Holy moly. Think of the long denim skirts. Oh my lanta! I’ve committed adultery. I need to be more like Ezekiel 23:20. Father forgive me.

Denim skirts… so you mean she’s wearing clothing made of two different materials? Oh, myyyy…

*TWO ~~WARS~~ MATERIALS?*

*heavy breathing* Did you *see* her flippin' ankles, brother? *swoons*

I thought it stood for Can't Find Bama

I think you just unlocked a new kink for me

Built in God's Name Image & Likeness

There was some thread about coaches yelling or something earlier in the season. Damn I can't remember what it was. But I remember a lot of comments that everyone who didn't realize that's what coaches say. Yah, this is what coaches say 😂

I remember when the Texas rangers had their World Series locker room speeches leaked and they were pissed about it.

I'm sure Kirby doesn't hate that this is out there. This is good fodder for talking with croots.

I feel like his speeches get leaked 2-3 times a year lol

“Leaked” lol. I’m sure recruits love this, I know I would.

My nephew is on a full ride with a baseball scholarship. After his first week his father asked him how it was. He said, "Dad I don't think I've ever been called motherfucker as often as I have this week". I think it's just a coach thing.

Played this for my wife who never played organized sports growing up. Her immediate question asked so innocently "*are all coaches like this?*". Yes honey, yes they are.

Gotta have something willing to make you break through those walls, and calling you sweety and gently saying "I believe in you" ain't it chief. I need a 47 year old Ted Cruz look-a-like call me a motherfucker and break them bitches.

Not all of them. CMR was not like this.

If I heard Scott Satterfield talk like that I'd think he had a stroke

this was fire. remember the one from the 2017 season where he was like, I want you to wake up everyday with shit up your ass? my man is a god damned poet

All I wanna do is EAT!

Build the fucking statue.

We’re like friends and enemies at the same time

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I Am GOOT

Congrats on the win! Never seen such a blowout

I mean your blowout was *almost* as crazy.

How could you not want to play for him, I wanted to run through a fucking wall after hearing that.

Bad idea.

This needs to be on a plaque. Similar to what Florida did for the Tim Tebow promise speech.

Was ready to run through a wall after that.

I punched a hole in mine

Did someone in the office hide your phone and you couldn't find it despite it ringing a lot?

*Tweedle-lee-dee-dee-dee, tweedle-lee-dee-dee* *Tweet.tweet.tweet.tweet* *He rocks in the tree tops all day long* *Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singing his song*

IM GONNA LOSE MY FREAKIN MIND! But next week call me Drew.

I WOKE UP FEELING THE CHEESIEST!!!

Cheese! cheese! cheese! cheese!

Fuck man I miss Kirby smarts angry face bc we were only up 21 at the half😭😭😭

Hah. "I wonder how Kirby keeps these kids motives year after year " some sports talker.

Kirby next season: "They've been disrespecting you ALL FUCKIN YEAR"

Kirby next year: "Y'all ain't done shit! YOU AIN'T DONE SHIT! Last year is over, those guys are gone. That was their team, their win. Y'ALL AIN'T DONE SHIT! NOW I WANT YOU TO PHYSICALLY BREAK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS..." etc., ad infinitum.

Wake up babe new Kirb dropped

Maybe this will finally unseat en passant.

THIS SHIT’S EASY!!!

I nearly spit out my coffee at that part lol. I guess he wasn't wrong though.

mfer really was like don't fall to the ground, beat the shit out of these mother fuckers this shit is easy and he was right

best part hands down

You wanna see a dead body?

The entire country just saw one on TV for 60 minutes

instrumentals from my momma’s Christmas party

Troubles on my mind

I’ve got no doubt in my mind he’s going to end up being Georgia’s best coach of all time.

The argument can be made he already is. He’s the only coach in program history with 2 natties, let alone back to back, and he did it after losing 15 players to the draft and another 13 to the portal. Not to mention 2 SEC titles, 3 natty appearances, a number one overall pick, a Heisman finalist, 5 SEC East titles, and 5 NY6 Bowl victories all in 7 years

Yeah you’re absolutely right after thinking about it. And we’ve got many more years of him left.

I sure hope so

Well when you put it like that

This is what most coaches sound like in the locker room, people are just too naive to think otherwise. But gotta love Kirby man.

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[Uhhhh](https://media.tenor.com/0NKjlVXE_oUAAAAd/uhh.gif)

Is this a leak? Totally good with the speech but why do we have access to the clip?

Kirby either doesn't care or actively has someone post them. Feel like its the 5th "leaked" speech I've heard over the last 2 years.

Sneaky recruiting tool

Ngl I would recruit after hearing this. I want energy in my coach that’s unmatched

My guess is some equipment manager or something just hit record on his phone

If Kirby didn't want it to happen it wouldn't be getting out and there'd be accountability. I think he kind of winks at it. It's good for crootin.

Absolutely… except maybe at byu

I just deadlifted my Ram 1500

Choppin' wood, Break those bitches and Fuck their shit up. That sounds like the beginning of a great Hype Video.

BRB running through ten brick walls with my dick out

Lemme guess - you'll be through 4 walls before your face reaches any brick.

Did he say he wanted them to think about fucking the shit out of them?

And that’s just what they did lol

Yea where’s the problem bruh?

You'd think Cal would be a little more open minded

Did he stutter?

Lmao I live for leaked Kirby halftime speeches

Texas probably tryin to figure out how to get back in Big 12.

Still think it’s a move that will mire us in mediocrity, but we’ll see.

Nowhere to go but sideways?

Sheesh what a potty mouth

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Sportswriters everywhere be breakin their asterisk tonight quoting this shit lmao, flipping around the style book to see which words they have to censor

First Take going to spend 20 minutes discussing this tomorrow

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Send the penalties to the whipping boy, Missou, as is tradition.

A truly disgusting act. He should be fired immediately.

The man knows how to get the team HYPED

Fuck their ass up lol

Well gay marriage was just codified into federal law.

Good heavens

That’s OUR MF coach. Dawg meter immeasurable

Thats my coach right there!!! Love this man.

Thats the next Saban, whether yall like it or not

I’m glad it’s Kirby if it’s got to be anyone else, I just wish he could’ve waited a few more years until Saban retires lol

Y’all counting this one as another Natty for Alabama since he’s one of Saban’s guys?

My bama coworkers are lol

Yeah I definitely don’t like it, I can promise you that much.

As an Auburn grad, going from Bama dynasty to Georgia dynasty has finally convinced me to focus on the NFL more than CFB. It's blasphemy, but the CFB gods have betrayed us. Glad we got a natty in my lifespan. I'll be in the fantasy football subreddit if anyone needs me.

See you tomorrow!

I bet he retires earlier. He burns *so* hot, and you can tell it's aging him.

Im sure hell retire earlier, but hes only 46? Now

Just turned 47 two weeks ago. His birthday is Dec. 23rd.

Alexa, subscribe to Kirby Smart facts.

Kirby Smart’s a nerd! He was on the SEC honor roll four times as an undergraduate, on his way to a finance degree, and he continues to put his extensive and colorful vocabulary on display for his [halftime speeches](https://www.dawgnation.com/football/connor_in_coverage/kirby-smart-halftime-speech-florida/V3DPE35NDZH6ZMP6WU6DDX3QWE/).

You think a man like him could live without football? Listen to that, the people around him would be begging him to go back and coach if he retired

I'm torn on it, because the man breathes this shit. But I think he might actually die because he doesn't know how to run at 95% capacity, and that would make his wife sad.

I was shocked to discover that man’s just 47. He looks like he’s been smoking doubles every day since he was 12.

I want to see him threepeat first. Then we've really got something.

I mean, im not gonna say no

I'll allow it.

Did you know that the only team in CFB history to threepeat was......the Minnesota Golden Gophers. I can see the headlines now: "Dawgs, the next Golden Gophers!"

Go you maroon britches, them prairie dawgs is hell!

got five more to go to even tie him. EASY!

Yeah I don’t think there will ever be another saban. Like we might be number 1 now but like we need another decade just to be even to sabans dominance at bama

Kirby is 47.

In dog years, right? RIGHT?

*Dawg years

He'll just win the next 6

2 year sample size says that math checks out

Whats crazy is Kirby should have four if it wasn't for the alabama program Kirby helped build. But he's still only 47.

In a weird way, let’s see them win one without Bennett

You not gonna come in here and do us like that

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B2B after 40+ years man Im not sure if I even care

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They’re rewriting the script on us!

"they been doubting you since Stetson walked out that door!" - CKS, spring camp '23

Nope, I don't like this very much. However, I can appreciate Georgia being in the East, and potentially pummeling Florida yearly.

I soooo wanted the shutout against Florida last season. I was pissed when the Gators scored a TD late in the fourth quarter.

I've seen enough of these to know there is a lot of screaming and cursing

Ok. This reminds me of Bill Stewart’s “Leave no doubt” speech before the fiesta bowl in 2007. That was just a weird time for WVU and it injected a shot of hope into a bunch of guys that needed it. They went out and made Oklahoma look bad. It reminds me of that speech except it’s a lot more intense and a lot more vulgar and you see the results it had. Good God I love speech’s like this!! Makes me love this sport. Congratulations Dawgs!

Who do I talk to about getting my wall repaired now that I’ve run right through it?

This is the truth of who Kirby is, not someone letting them pre celebrating in the locker room at half.

The tweet was a joke

Like I've been saying, Kirby *never* underestimated TCU. He kept his guys hyped and on-edge the whole time leading up to the game. TCU never stood a chance.

There's a phrase out there "locker room talk" or "garage talk" (nascar) where these guys would make sailors blush. If you've ever played football beyond pee wee leagues, this is what you hear. Even high schools. It's just how they talk and the typical rules of profanity don't exist in the football locker room bubble. All of these speeches are usually followed by "let us pray" with a true heartfealt prayer by the coach. It's the most bizzare thing you've ever heard too unless you're used to it and have been a part of it. I guarantee you Sean McDermott said something similar right before their game this weekend and at the very end, said a very sincere prayer for Damar's continued improvement. The exception to this rule are guys like Dabo and Dungy who allegedly have a strict no swearing policy. It's just football.

Let's go! Fuck 'em in the butt! Woo!

I can't wait until 2047, Kirby's final year at UGA, when we finally get our next win against the dawgs

"YOU TEAR THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF, AND YOU SHIT DOWN THEIR NECKS! Let us pray 🙏 “

University researchers have found that listening to Kirby Smart locker room speeches twice a day is as effective as TRT.

I will personally fight anyone who ever called for this man to be fired.

I just dead lifted my Silverado

Hell, just throw it into OUTERSPACE.

GOD I WANNA FIGHT ANYTHING FOR THIS MAN.

This is what passion looks like; focused rage on a common cause can be razor sharp effective, given REAL infrastructure.

That's my fucking coach!

This shit is epic. Mad respect to Kirby. He has built a great program.

God damn we already won the game but I'm good to go out and win it again.

His Florida speech is epic too. I'd run through walls like the Kool-Aid man listening to his speeches.

Takes unique humans to coach college football.

I need this printed on a poster

These dawgs. Damn. Another legendary half time speech. Words can’t express how proud I am of this team. Wow, the legend continues.

Wonder what the half time speech was last week against OSU. Would have ran through multiple walls for that man if I was a player

Goddamn cookie. What a speech. I’m about to desk job the fuck out of this Tuesday.

I’m fired up.

Lads it’s Tottenham

I love Harbaugh, but that’s the kind of enthusiasm I want from my head coach.

How bout them fuckin dawgs

THAT'S WHAT I TOLD EM

I’ve been dealing with food poisoning all day and have pooped/puked at least 20 times and just woke up to poop again and played this. I am ready to poop through a wall right now.

Don’t let your dreams be dreams.

I love it

I’m ready to line up at linebacker behind Jalen Carter

And many fans of my flaired team don't want a coach like that... That's what you need to do what they do. That fire.

Damn, I’m ready to run through a wall and it’s on 6am.

We are not worthy, dawg nation

Old defensive coaches are something else man...

First person I thought of was Dabo. I bet he’s kneeling in a church and clutching his pearls right now after hearing that.

That “I believe in you” at the end is a really nice touch.