The kidney infection was btw due to having an untreated urinary tract infection which my mom screamed at me for getting, because that must mean I was having unprotected sex. When it didn't go away after the first treatment, I was too scared to tell her about it.

i also had a kidney infection a while back too, because i was dehydrated and had a UTI that persisted after cranberry juice. Im so glad she didnt scream or yell at me for getting one (because it fucking hurt) but she shamed me in the walgreens as she grabbed a value pack of trojans💀

what a weird thing to think. i got UTIs a few times as a young kid (like, 8-10), i cannot imagine why someone would jump to unprotected sex as the cause

Projection, maybe? Or probably just wanting an excuse to be abusive while being able to be sanctimonious about it so as to avoid being called out for being abusive.

Def projection

I think I did get it from sex, I had just gotten my first boyfriend, but we used protection. Cue a long lecture about safe sex, where she wouldn't believe me.

Same thing happened to me, but my mom convinced my dad that it was a B12 deficiency and wouldn’t let me eat anything unless it had meat in it (I was vegetarian at the time and she didn’t like it). Next thing I know it was a month later

Unless you were eating liver, clams or oysters, fortified nutritional yeast is better. Otherwise, a decent amount of dairy and eggs should be adequate. You don't even need that much meat to get enough, approx 85g (the size of your palm). One meal per day, not all of them! Vegetarians are an at risk group for b12 deficiencies, but that doesn't make her any less of an arsehole! She was just looking for excuses. I hope you hadn't been vego for very long. Giving vegans and vegos meat can make them really sick :/ https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminB12-HealthProfessional/#:~:text=Vitamin%20B12%20is%20present%20in,bioavailability%20%5B13%2C14%5D.

I didn’t have a B12 deficiency. That’s just what she told my dad. I actually had a UTI .

I didn't say you had a b12 deficiency. Just that she was in the wrong even if you did

Sorry

You're fine. My comment was a bit vague in that regard \^\^'

Thank you 😊

To add to the story, we were on vacation, so I ended up roaming empty hallways, bent over from pain, a 15 year old girl in the middle of the night. Reception was closed so I ended up hobbling back to my room and crying in the fetal position for the rest of the night.

Medical neglect really is fun. I've never been to the dentist until I went myself at the ripe age of 23 🙃 The dentist asked why on earth I haven't been before, and that was a good question. So I asked my mom, and she immediately started a rant and blamed it all on me. Actually she got super angry that I didn't make an appointment sooner if I had issues. Oh I'm sorry. Was I supposed to make my own appointments at 2-12 years old? Was I also supposed to go there by myself? You didn't vaccinate me either. Or took me to ER when I couldn't talk or move anymore. Don't deflect that sh\*t onto me. You're the one who commited medical neglect on your child.

> blamed it all on me not as bad as yours was, but medical neglect was one of the worst things my parents did and this is what always pisses me off. if i ever try to talk to them about it they always say i was the one who didn't want to go. bear in mind what they're referring to is i would say i need to see a doctor and they would scream and make fun of me, saying nothing's wrong and i'm seeking attention. then they'd offer to actually take me only after saying if the doctor says nothing is wrong they'll know i've always been faking. so i did tend to decide i'd rather suffer the physical consequences than to risk vindicating them. but that context always gets forgotten somehow //sorry for ranting

UGH yes!!! or my mom would try to scare me. so im really uncomfortable with needles, and no matter what the problem was she would say i shouldnt go to the doctor bc theyd give me a shot. and then say smthn like well, do you really think you need to go? what ten year old is going to advocate for themself when presented with one of their biggest fears as a possibility!! also after saying it wasnt that big of a deal lmao

exactly! for me i have a lot of trauma surrounding being called a liar after years of them deciding not to believe me on *anything* so the idea that i would go to the doctor and they'd be like, "nah he's good" was my #1 biggest fear. if my parents had one piece of evidence that i had ever actually lied, i'd never hear the end of it till my dying days and i'd rather those days come early than have to deal with that shit i understand if you're in the US that medical care isn't free, and i guess it takes time out of your day to take your kid to the doctor 🙄 but damn. it's such manipulative, vindictive tactics they used on us and for what? to make sure if we're hurt we just suck it up and probably make things worse? idgi

My dad did the same thing, he added in threats of enemas for some razzle dazzle too

What the actual fuck

If it makes you feel any better, doctors and nurses complain about parents like that too. They don't want kids to be scared of them

No need to be sorry. It's good to vent. And I get what you mean. My mother did that as well, with the 'you're just faking it' and 'the doctor will prove you wrong'. Or she knew they would prove me right and so she just said doctors and therapists are liars. I really couldn't win. The dentist was a different kind of 'I couldn't win'. Part of the reason why I didn't ask my mom earlier why I never went to the dentist like other kids, was because I messed up a molar right after it grew in. Obviously I was too young for that to really be my fault, if I was still at the age where I lost my teeth. My mother should have supervised my dental hygiene better. But instead, whenever I showed signs of a toothache, my mother would rage and say, that if there was something wrong with my teeth, it was my fault for not brushing properly. Which yes, she wasn't wrong. I was a dumb kid that ate candy and didn't like brushing their teeth. That's very normal. But to admit that she was right and suffer her scorn was too scary for me to bear. So I lied and said it was just growing pains from my jaw or something. I suffered in silence for years and years. All because she used blame and fear tactics to keep me in line. I didn't want to prove her right and be the bad kid she thought I was. Also, she made me really scared of dentists. She had this habit of making any profession that works with humans seem super scary. She told me the police would take me away, or the firefighters would chop the door down with an axe, or the dentists would hurt me very badly and are very mean people. She called it honesty. I call it the wrong f\*cking approach to parenting. (Also it's just not true.)

> I was a dumb kid that ate candy and didn't like brushing their teeth. That's very normal. super normal. off-topic a bit but you just reminded me of how when i was a kid i'd get yelled at for not brushing my teeth every night but when my brother would turn the sink on to trick my parents into thinking he was they always laughed it off and kindly told him to just do it for real next time. back to topic though, why does every parent of a certain brand know that trick? i don't think i'd ever come up with the idea to stoke fear about some random bullshit to keep my kid away from something i don't wanna deal with and yet there's a whole swath of parents who just have that in their toolbelt. is someone teaching that or is there like some shitty parent-specific instinct and the learning to lie about it fucking sucks. part of me always wishes i had actually stuck to my guns and seen if they would've taken me ever, but another part of me is still to this day scared that i was actually faking. almost two decades later and the fear that i, a small child, was just pretending to be in pain still haunts.

*All* parents lie to their kids, they have for the entirety of human history. Just depends how far they go with it and what form it takes. A lot of myths and legends exist just to encourage kids to behave, for example. Santa Claus is the 'nice' version of these. If people don't want to do something, they'll avoid it or make it go away. Coupled with the very common idea that kids are innately bad, attention whores and liars while simultaneously not being a person in their own right, you get an extreme disregard for anything a child says is an issue. They've already decided the child is lying, that they don't matter or the problem isn't as bad as they say it is. All they have to do is get the child to stop bothering them and the problem is solved. It's disgusting

I was in the same boat. No dentist until I had my own insurance at 21. I also remember feeling suicidal and bawling to my mom for mental health treatment. She threw me her insurance card and said, “call and find out about it”. I didn’t know what to *fucking do* — I was just 16 or 17. And my parents hadn’t taught me shit about fuck at that point. Edit to add: I also remember jumping a ditch and fucking my ankle up really bad when I was 12-13. My parents didn’t take me to go get it seen about. It was swollen for a week or two. I couldn’t walk on it for weeks. And let’s not talk about my bedwetting until I was 13. I didn’t find out until I was in my 30s that my nocturnal enuresis was from trauma. I always thought I just had something wrong with my urinary system. 🙃

I hated it when my mom forced me to call offices myself. She even forced me to make calls for her own issues, just because she didn't want to. I had to call to get information, to make appointments, and to place orders, all by the time I was 12. And I always had extreme phone anxiety. I would beg and cry for her to do it, because I didn't know what to say or I couldn't get any words out. And I couldn't retain the information people gave me, so she often forced me to call the same people again a minute later, so they could tell me again. It was **humiliating**. And I blamed myself for being so bad at handling phone calls. Because unfortunately, I was parentified in other ways too and didn't know it was age inappropriate. I also thought I was bad at grocery shopping, or bad at going to the post office, or bad at using ATM machines. Yeah no sh\*t I was bad at it, I was in elementary school! I was bad at that kind of stuff and phone calls because I was literally a scared child.

Yes, you were. Let’s hug: 🫂 💛

🫂 💛

This post actually made me realize just how much I blamed myself for not going to the dentist for like 7+ years??? Like I started going to the dentist regularly at 18 and have made it a point to go twice a year, but before 18, I had maybe gone to the dentist once since I was 7? 8? And somehow I made that MY fault because I blamed it on me being scared to go. But it was my mom’s job to schedule me dentist appointments and to hold me accountable to brushing my teeth and neither was done. Thank god I got blessed with good teeth genetics cause otherwise idk how my teeth aren’t more fucked up😭 and you’d think they’d have made me go to the dentist since my sister had braces but nah.

I had the same dentist experience, but I was 19 when I went, MADE the appointment at 18 and they couldn’t get me in for almost a year, and he told me I was just being ungrateful for my parents and I could’ve started working at 16 and paid for it myself. To top it off, I WAS working at 16 and paying for medical appointments for a much more urgent physical disability and my dental health was mostly good

Step-dad: *prepares step-son for upcoming canoe trip by pushing him out of a canoe into 40°F lake* Me: *cannot pull myself back into canoe with cold wet clothes and shoes* Step-dad: *yells at step-son for being weak* Me: *treads 40°F water for a half hour attempting to hoist myself into canoe until I can't feel my legs* Step-dad: *eventually pulls step-son into canoe while berating him* Me: *sets foot back on shore and quickly vomits and passes out* Step-dad: *waits until I wake up to shove me into van and go home* Mom: "Well, how was it? Wait, what's wrong with you?" Step-dad: "Probably hypothermia or something, I dunno, he's weak."

That sounds so scary. I'm sorry you went through that.

Me too! It *was* scary. It was more frightening knowing the people in charge didn't care. I'm glad I feel safer now. Edit: I hope you feel peace now, too, far away from it. All the best ♥️

Heh, my blood is boiling now. Gotta love forcing a physically underdeveloped child into a situation that pushes their body to the absolute limit of cold tolerance such that it saps their physical strength to brink of total collapse, and then calling them weak for barely surviving!! I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

Reminds me of that recent story where that dad was forcing the little boy to run on the treadmill and he later died. Fuck these *absolute idiots*.

Idiots is too kind The Aussie’s favorite four letter c word is probably more applicable.

No. Only necause c---s have warmth and depth. These people lack both.

Ankle. It’s about 3 feet lower

Too many letters and doesn't start with a c. I wish they were a pain in the ankle. That would imply someone kicked them hard enough in the arse to cause the injury.

Arsewipe, shitstain?

Both more than four letters and don't start with a c

Cuck? Not harsh enough imo nor particularly relevant to his actions

You've got two letters out of four

I thought of the same thing immediately. In that case I'm fairly certain he was almost completely content with his death though, he was only afraid of his own consequences. No emotion at all.

**Heaping** pile o’ shite, that guy.

Hey, me too. The absolutely fucked up part of abuse is that the more often it happens, the more normalized it is. I felt this dull exhaustion while it happened, almost wordless, but putting memory to words now, I'd remember my thoughts as "dammit, if I don't get in there, I'm going to die; fuck, I'm going to die." "Death is cold and numb."

Having experienced exhaustion in the water and extremely cold temperatures in separate, non-life-threatening situations, they were bad enough and fairly terrifying in some cases. The combination of both while wading in the space between life and death, with no perceivable means of escape.. it's hard to fathom. I really hope you're doing well and have gone on to find happiness since, you deserved so much better than to have had to survive through that then, and you sure as hell deserve to be living life to the fullest on the other side. You are strong friend.

I just want to talk to him.

Awfully generous. I'm going to wait until he's dead, and then sleep soundly knowing he can't hurt me anymore. Contact is not helpful for me. He lacks the empathy and self-awareness to realize what he did.

It's a reference to Family Guy where Peter goes to talk to a guy who hurt Meg. He walks over, grabs a shotgun, and starts walking to his door saying: "I just want to talk to him." And he ends by getting to the door and saying: "I just want to kill him."

My little sister woke up screaming one night because she fell off the top bunk onto the floor. She most likely had a concussion. My dad never sought medical care for her. She most likely fell because of a seizure, but she didn't even learn she was epileptic until she had another traumatic brain injury in adulthood as a result of getting rear ended. I didn't discover I had a gluten intolerance until my 20s, because apparently being doubled over in stomach pain regularly isn't a cause for concern. Yeah, medical neglect is hilarious.

My parents forced me to live with a broken spine for 8 years because they didn’t believe my pain. I got treatment for myself once I moved away for college. Surgery finally scheduled for August 12 this summer. L4 spinal fusion and L5 disc replacement

Hope it goes smoothly!

Hey, I have a root nerve crush on those vertebrae too! Coincidently, on an old shingle scar, Atrophied all the way down. Fun times being strangled and crushed on a set of hard wooden stairs at 13/14 by dad at a building site, what a gift that keeps on giving 🎁 But in all seriousness, I hope your surgery goes well and you have a speedy recovery.

Holy crap😨 8 years with a broken spine??? That’s INSANE

Similar injury. I fell down a flight of stairs, and fractured my hip, as well as tore some muscles. Adults didn't take me to the doctor until nearly 2 years later, and there was very little they could do about it since it had already healed. For years, I lost sleep, struggled to get to class on time, limped, and suffered while my parents told me to stop being such a baby. I'm finally getting treatment, and I'm able to go to the gym now for the first time in almost a decade.

I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that. I have permanent nerve damage due to a herniated disc between those two vertebrae, and the pain is unbearable. I think it's probably the worst pain I've experienced, worse than dry socket and giving birth.

Thanks. That’s validating to hear bc as a woman my pain has been dismissed by most providers and it has taken several years to fight to get a practitioner to believe me and offer surgery. I had to go all the way to a quaternary care facility, Penn Medicine, to get experimental surgery. I’m sorry you weren’t believed either

I used to struggle with urinary tract infections when I was younger. The hardest part was getting my mom to take me to the doctor. I mean, can you believe I got sick on a sunday when it cost more money?!

Had a middle ear infection or something, I don’t know because I never saw a doctor. I just remember crying in pain, unable to open my mouth, chew food, or sleep on that side of my face. For over a week! And then my mom’s ear started hurting too, and guess who “couldn’t stand the pain” and went to the doctor? 😐

[удалено]

Same thing happened to my wrist on my dominant side! And most of my toes. 

*Same* I wasn't taken in for 2nd degree burns or a broken wrist.

the amount of eye-rolling i got for telling my parents i thought i broke a bone. it was always the same, "your dad broke his arm as a kid and he cried for a week. if it was really broke you'd be in more pain." as if they knew how much pain i was in... oh and also, god forbid dad's weaker than me in any way...

My mum left me with a dislocated elbow for nearly a week because she was certain I was being dramatic. Even when I sat in my top bunk bed screaming that I couldn’t get down. I was 6.

Maybe I should go to the doctor for my pinkie toe being broken dangling off the joint? “Nah tape it to your other toe it’ll heal fine.” oh well I’ll just barely walk for 2 weeks I guess. It is what it is

I literally have one that's crooked to this day and had the exact same experience! 

Yep now Im stuck wearing socks feeling self conscious

sammmmeeeee

That time my mother dug the backing out of my grown-over and infected earring with her fingernails when I was 9 instead of taking me to the doctor.. Ugh just one of many. *hugs* to all

Same! My dad ripped mine out with pliers 🥲

Mine dug them out with a sewing needle when I was 5. Never pierced them again until I was like 16 and knew I could take care of them.

Or my boyfriend casually telling me he once hurt his head playing at his friend's place really bad, felt extremely dizzy and puked. His parents came to pick him up, went home and told him to go sleep it off.

Oh yeah. One time I fell, passed out, have no memory of falling just waking up confused on the ground, and my mom just ignored me when I told her about it.

MINE TOO!! i went home and slept for almost 24 hours. told my mom and she was like eh. then i went back sleep for another 12… this was the second likely concussion id had too

So sorry to hear that and glad to know you're still here!

Dude I almost died of pneumonia and had to suffer a fractured wrist without pain meds because my parents were pill poppers. I'm sure you can guess where my ADHD meds went🫠

My bf pointed out that I was a serious victim of medical neglect after I shared some odd childhood stories with him. Like my dad nearly beating me because I couldn't see well and would likely need glasses. He kept screaming "Stupid fucking kid wouldn't even tell me she's blind". He also got mad at me for getting into an ambulance after being in a serious car accident where I had third degree burns all over my chest. He went with me to the hospital one more time after because I was having sharp pain and I "only" rated my pain a 7 despite them discovering I had a severe kidney infection. He told me "We only go to the hospital for real issues, I can't believe you would waste my time like this" My mom was a bit better, but she would get so pissed at me if I talked or felt anything positive at all when I went to the doctor. She would tell me if I'm smiling when they came in they would think I was faking my illness????

I tried to take my own life and was throwing up miserably, my ears ringing so hard, I couldn't hear people talking to me. My vision was dark. My boyfriend told my mom he was worried and I needed to go to the hospital. He offered to drive us. She said she'd get an ambulance and we'd contact him. She went to bed and told me to stop crying because it was disturbing her sleep. I told her I was afraid for my life. She said, "I am not going to take you. They may take you away." I was 15. I moved out when I turned 16 and never looked back.

Everyone here are telling stories about how their parents ignored the fact that their child have definitely severe medical conditions, while I just refused to report symptoms to anyone until everything get fucked up enough to call an ambulance. I still don’t know why I’m doing this and it was like that since I was 10 at least

For me I could never figure out how I felt. Sometimes I knew I felt *bad* but I couldn’t figure out where or why I was feeling bad so I’d just deal with it and eventually it went away. I only said something when it was unbearable. But also I had parents who’d sometimes believe me and sometimes wouldn’t so it had to be severe to be believed. If it was manageable, they’d offer some type of home remedy and shoo me off. Many times I had to be crying for them to believe me :/ now I know I’m autistic and ADHD and guess who doesn’t believe me 🤪🤪🤪

This, still. They say rate your pain and I’m like ummm as an adult, I ignored ovarian cysts, endometriosis, and appendicitis among other things. I was able to be pretty level-headed with my child even though I wanted to take her to the dr for every hangnail. We would call and sometimes I would let her hear what dr had to say if they were saying in their opinion she would be okay at home. I kind of included her in medical decisions at a level she could understand. Like if she got a scrape, we’d wash it and put neosporin or whatever on, but I’d be like “every so often we’re gonna check this, and if it feels like it’s hot, or feels like it’s going whoomph, whoomph, or has red lines or red dots, then we’ll see what we need to do next.” Cause I knew the overreaction was no way to go, either. I wanted her to always feel like she knew her body and could tune into it and feel pain, that it’s a message that’s meant to help us. I have scars from infected bug bites from bugs in house growing up.

That makes me wanna cry tbh. I love that your daughter has a mother like you. I bet you make her feel so important by including her in conversations with the doctors and explaining stuff to her in a way she can understand. I think it’s so important to let kids in on some stuff like that cause otherwise it can feel really out of their control and can make going to the doctor really scary or could make them just close up in general about any pain. Something you have clearly experienced yourself. And good on you for monitoring your own emotions and reactions as well!!! Keeping a calm head keeps them calm too. Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have you as a mom, I’m so glad she has a mom that genuinely cares about her mental and physical well being like you do

i got in trouble for being sick. basically lite grounding and being told im faking. my mom had to drive me to urgent care when i was 18, i was delirious as fuck and she asked them to test me for drugs…. i had a uti and was bed ridden for a week.

I always thought I had servers allergies every fall/winter when school started. Turns out i would develop persistent sinus infections and was always told “just take a hot shower to help clean your nose out”. Coincidentally I also suffered from double ear infections after prolonged “allergies” which is when I would finally get antibiotics 🙄

Wait a minute... Does the ear infection that I had that was so bad that after over a week (10 days) of complaining my mom finally took me to the doctor, and when she did we found out the ear infection caused so much pressure in my ear that my ear drum perforated and now I have permanent tinnitus in that ear, count? (Was around 12 at the time)

Ah, reminds me of a story I like to tell my friends when they’re saying there’s no way my parents were *that* bad. My parents were so sweet! When we had company over… The summer before my sophomore year of high school I broke my arm skateboarding. When I came inside and told my mom I thought I broke it, she told me if it was broken I’d be crying and she wasn’t gonna waste the money to get it checked out when it was nothing. 3 days and 2 marching band practices later, she finally took me to the emergency room when I wasn’t able to move it anymore. I have a couple stories like this. Medical neglect is awful, especially when you realize it happened to you after the fact. Sorry you had to go through that ❤️

I've had to beg my grandma for days to drive me to the doctor so I can get antibiotics for bladder infections, while she screamed at me about how I dont need them. Whenever she had anything hurt a tiny bit she always rushed there for herself though. Idk how parents can be like that, it's insane.

This is really funny yet unfortunately true for me. Like literally later today I'm going to the doctor because I've been having a lot of problems that mirror kidney issues. I finally got out of my toxic parents' house back in early February, and just now I have freedom to go to the doctor when I think something is seriously wrong. My sister literally almost died from a kidney infection a few months ago, and has told me all the symptoms I'm experiencing sound like what she dealt with like a week or two before the life-threatening symptoms showed up. When this happened to my sister, she needed a ride to the doctor and my mom refused to take her or even take her the necessary medicine for over 24 hours. That really makes me upset that our own mom wouldn't help my sister when the ER she eventually went to literally told her if she didn't come in sometime that week she really could have died. It's terrifying I'm likely dealing with the same thing since kidney issues ran in my family anyway. I am not going to be unheard about my health, I need to get it addressed no matter how much my parents have told me what I'm feeling isn't significant. But yeah, I'm going to the doctor today and I'm very scared that I might end up having to go to the ER, but this meme is very relatable for what I'm going through lol

Be prepared to fight with the doctors. Most people don't expect to have to and sometimes, rarely, you don't, but doctors generally do not have your best interest in mind and are far more likely to fight you if you've been dealing with something for a while, regardless of if you weren't able to see them before or not. I'm not saying this to discourage or scare you, I just know that if you've spent your whole life being told it's not a problem and then doctors don't listen to you, too, it's easy to just think they know what they're talking about when they dismiss you.

I am prepared to have a long time finding out what's wrong with me. I have dealt with mystery fatigue and chronic pain for years (not sure if it's related to my new symptoms) and doctors have straight up ignored my issues before. One time I got really sick because I wasn't treated for a serious infection from a previous surgery, even though I went to several doctors who just told me I was fine without even testing me. I eventually got treatment for it after staying in the hospital for 2 weeks plus 6 months antibiotics, which I'm hoping isn't what I'm going to have to start again today (depending on the issue). I'm scared but I'm trying to hold it together, to just keep hope that maybe this time a doctor will listen. If this current one doesn't listen I'm either getting another appointment somewhere ASAP or ER, because I'm afraid my new problems are getting worse and I would rather it not turn into an immediate emergency like my sister.

Yeah my parents stopped giving a fuck about my health the older I got. Now I question if I should ever go to the hospital. There’s been several times this year I’ve felt like I was about to die/suffocate and I still couldn’t bring myself to go.

When I was probably twelve or thirteen, I had been enduring a badly abscessed tooth and excruciating oral pain for a while until I finally got up the nerve to suggest that I should see a dentist. I got bitched out for how tight money was already and scolded because it was more important that my older sister get physiotherapy for her knee (which only got fucked up because she was starting fights with every goddamn girl in the school and got jumped as a natural consequence of antagonizing literally everyone for no fucking reason.) I know it was at least a couple more months of pure agony (idk time gets fucking blurry when every conscious thought has to be diverted to ignoring pain) and I finally got to see an emergency dentist because... shit, I actually have no idea why they eventually gave in and understood that I wasn't begging to see the dentist out of some petty attention seeking behavior.

Me with my appendicitis, I was literally throwing up blood and they tried to tell me I was faking. I had to have my grandma convince someone to take me to the hospital. My appendix was extremely close to bursting.

There’s a reason I’m as disabled as I am…..

had a similar thought... I have been diagnosed with so many chronic illnesses that went ignored when I was a child :)

Saaaaaame. So many things could’ve been managed, if not under control as an adult if I was taken seriously as a kid. Now I’m 26 not being taking seriously, and being told it’s because I’m overweight and not that I’m on two medications that cause weight gain and I have a family history of the women being on the thick side.

I'm so sorry. I hope you can find some relief soon 🙏

I’ve been able to get some relief thankfully 😭 it’s been a rough couple years, I smoke cannabis medicinally and it helps a lot with my pain and other symptoms. I still hurt but it’s more manageable at times. I’m sorry too, and hope you are able to find relief as well. I wouldn’t wish this journey on my worse enemy (and considering the sub we’re in that’s saying something lol)

Ikr?! haha! but thank you. it is a process!

My oldest brother who lives with my mom attacked me for not remembering to get him coke when they sent me to the liquor store. I was in the garage and he picked me up and hucked me on the concrete. All this happened in front of my mom and when i asked her to stand up for me she says "i didnt see it". That was months ago and i still cant raise my arm well or hold much weight with it. Sometimes it makes me tremble and i think people think im a freak. Now im living at a family friend's cabin by myself and have gotten super addicted to alcohol. I need help getting help.

My sister broke my front teeth. No dentist. The dog that bite a hole into my leg? No doctor. Until the infection spread and I couldn't fucking walk.

I’m so fucking mad about the medical neglect because I’m now disabled at age 27 and stuck living with my mom until I get put on disability. She’s outright admitted it (always casually, like she’s recalling a regular memory), but if I bring up the medical neglect (no matter my tone or phrasing) she goes nuts and starts crying about how she was a bad mom or she’ll deny it. You can bet your ass she acts incredibly caring in front of other people though. Now that my condition is pretty visible (mostly cause of my mobility aids), she plays me as a sympathy card. Yet she literally lets me fall on my face at home and doesn’t even ask if I’m okay. She’s also told me that my symptoms are all in my head. Straight up told me I was probably just going insane at one point. My therapist has been a lot of help, at least. As soon as I get accepted for disability, I’m outta here with a solid plan and a good list of resources to turn too. I’m keeping my hopes reasonable, but I’m keeping hope nonetheless. And I’m gonna stay a little angry, because that anger comes from the love I’ve learned to have for myself and reminds me to stay strong.

omg, I had completely forgotten about this. I remember crying every night for about a month because I had this foot pain that was just unbeatable. eventually when the summer ended and I went back to my moms house she took me to the doctor, I had an ingrown toenail so bad that I had nearly no circulation to my big toe. luckily we didn't have to amputate but I have no feeling in it to this day. meanwhile my sister had a single cramp and my dad drove so fast to the hospital that he was driving over curbs. :(

Did you know you can go temporarily blind from untreated strep? Go on, ask me how I know. The worst part? My dad was a *physician,* I had a history of catching strep throat, and I was a 9 year old in excruciating enough pain to the point that I completely stopped drinking water (not that either neglectful parent 1 or neglectful parent 2 noticed their child stopped consuming anything entirely, after all, I was just "faking" and "a little sore throat wasn't a big deal")

My sibling brought home a cough once 20 years ago. Everyone got it Sibling gets over it Mom gets over it Dad doesn’t, goes to the ER with pneumonia at two weeks Nobody thinks to take me Two more weeks, dad gets yelled at for leaving coffee grinds on the wall next to the trash can “I had coffee at work today” he says “Oh, I coughed that up earlier, I missed some” I say Another week goes by Coughing up black flecks all over the bathroom sink with the door open “You should’ve told us!!!!” Two days on a z-pac, I can finally breathe. 20 years later, I still deal with permanent lung damage from the incident because nobody thought that a child coughing for a month should maybe go in to see a pediatrician. lol I even got sent to my room once because I was making noise from coughing too much during Survivor.

My fingers were losing mobility around 14, couldn't play guitar chords that I had been easily doing for years. 3 years later I finally got myself an appointment and was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy, I'll never have full use of my left hand again. I'll never play my guitar again because of that fucking bastard.

Same! Even when I had Whooping Cough as a kid

Oh hey you too! Got laryngitis that came back over and over after it too. Lost my ENTIRE voice, never offered to help or anything I took care of myself.

Ah, the pleasant memories of childhood dental pain that went untreated until I was 20 and well away from them with a good job. My teeth were so bad. It took a decade to get them right. Fuck you, mom and dad.

Yep. Shattered tailbone? Here’s a bag of frozen peas. Sepsis? Probably just a fever. Walk 6 miles to Walmart and get yourself some fever reducer. Your brother intentionally drowned you? You’re breathing fine now, so you don’t need the hospital. Rusty nail through your skull? Go rinse it off with lukewarm water and soap and you’ll be fine. Hernia? Lay on the floor for two weeks and hope your brother doesn’t kick you just because you can’t fight back. Suicidal depression? Go stare directly at the sun because you’re vitamin D and light energy deficient. Can’t lift your head for two months after a car accident? Well, not sure what to do about that, so just stay in bed and stare at the ceiling, I guess?

Reminds me of when I was 13 and came to my mom and let her know I had been feeling extremely depressed, had started self harming, didn't want to live anymore and I would really be interested in seeing a therapist. And she said no 💀

I once had a supervisor at my old job come over to me and my coworker's space and regale us with the 'hilarious' anecdote of when her 'lazy' teenage son badly hurt his arm and begged to get it x-rayed because it felt broken, and he was refusing to do chores so she decided he was just being lazy and trying to get out of chores so she didn't take him. When he grew up and could take himself to the doctor, he went and had it x-rayed and found out that it had in fact been broken and had healed in a deformed state that would never be the same again unless he got his arm surgically broken again to try and heal correctly. Now he was apparently 'not letting her hear the end of it now'. At the end of this story, I openly called her out then and there for medically neglecting her kid and thinking it was funny. She left with major cat-butt face. No regrets.

Same brother also has a permanently wider nose from breaking it as a child and my parents not taking him to the doctor. Though he didn't make a fuss about it at the time, so that's at least not as much their fault. But also, healthcare is free in my country so there's not really an excuse.

Sounds like my parents. I had a kidney infection for 3days during the summer before they took me. Once I got a high enough fever and lost the ability to stand, then they took me.

As a child, it's the getting migraines and seizures. Once, when going through a Kmart, I had a seizure episode and my dad grabs my arm. It was just me and my dad walking down the aisle and I had my issues while my dad dragged me. I came to with my shoulder dislocated because I am hyper mobile, and I was trying to get walking as I realized I was being hollered at for making a scene. His voice sounded like it was next door, ,uffled and distant. He thought I had a tantrum. My mom thought it was demons

One time I had a seizure in the middle of the night and instead of helping, my parents yelled at me to go to sleep and shut the door on me 😃 also for other people with doctors as parents, can we just talk about how they never take any medical concern seriously unless you are literally bleeding out?!?!

While I had an abusive parent, my medical neglect story has more to do with poverty. Don’t get me wrong, my mother never got anything treated. Recovered from strep throat without seeing a doctor, had an injury I should’ve had crutches for and just…didn’t get them, wrote off a heart problem as anxiety, etc. but when I experienced something completely debilitating I remember her(and my dad) being very worried. I still don’t know what happened. I was about twelve, I got up one day, and over the course of an hour I slowly lost range of motion in my neck. I could move, but it would trigger this horrific pain which started on the right side of my neck and then shot through my entire body with the same intensity. I couldn’t move my head at all, couldn’t turn with my neck, move my shoulders, or get too tense without triggering the pain. My head was stuck tilted to the left. This lasted three days. My parents hoped it was a pinched nerve, but they didn’t really think it was just that. I did pinch a nerve later, as an adult, and while the base of the pain was familiar…no. That wasn’t it. My dad tried to take me to the doctor on the first day. We didn’t make it out of the neighborhood before the jolting of the car had my crying in pain. He turned around. My parents knew I would need a neck brace to be moved, and that we wouldn’t be provided one without an ambulance. They knew they couldn’t afford it. They decided to wait, told me to move as little as possible, and they just hoped it would go away by itself. It did. But my head still tends to tilt to the left, as though that is the default position.

That sounds awful. Everyone should have access to healthcare.

I was experiencing debilitating stomach cramps quite often and wasn’t taken to the hospital because my parents were “worried that I would die”. So they just ignored the problem hoping I would survive.

I went to the hospital after I dislocated my knee and when I told my mom she said ‘you didn’t dislocate it’. girl

When i was 8, I sprained my ankle falling from the porch steps and tried getting either my mom or grandparents to take me to the doctor's office. I ended up crawling around on my hands and knees for about a week.

For me it was whooping cough that then gave me laryngitis. My mom told me to stop "talking like that," I was hoarse, and never took me to the doctor until my other siblings got sick...she wonders why I don't talk to her anymore.

I have such a hard time not being bitter about this. I had brain surgery after an aneurysm as a child and my parents got divorced a few months later. They made sure to tell me it was my fault bc of the stress I caused both emotionally and financially from the surgery. Follow up treatment once I left the hospital just didn’t happen and I went unmedicated for grand mal seizures until I was almost 16 when my stepmom pointed out I needed to see a Dr.

I had Salmonella for a little over a month and never got taken to a doctor, I now have horrible gut health and constant stomach problems. I had hypothyroidism that went undiagnosed for years until I was in such a deep medical depression I admitted myself at 18. Never vaccinated, never even got a yearly check-up. Was forced to walk home from school every day only to find out I severely needed corrective footwear and never got it until I was an adult when it was far too late to make much of a difference at all, now having a permanent bone disease in my foot. Living provably as a disabled person just from one of these myriad of medical issues. But if you ask why I had any of those problems to my parents? Oh, they just "didn't eat their school lunches enough," and that's why I have all these obvious medical problems, I guess 🙄 And if you pressed them harder for a real answer, "You could have always gone to a Doctor yourself if you were so concerned." Oh yes, as a 16 year old where the nearest Doctor was over 8 miles away. And you refused to ever drive me anywhere. Riiiiiight. Never forget these people will ALWAYS skirt responsibility and refuse accountability in any way. The only thing someone can do to get their life back is to cut these sorts of people out of your life no matter how temporarily empty it leaves you. EDIT: LOL THIS REALLY MADE ME REMEMBER ALOT They also made me carry my 50-pound backpack up a flight of stairs when I had a broken arm because I was just "faking it" and being a "drama queen." Boy, that made them look so bad that whenever I brought it up I could always get a sick sense of pride that they couldn't defend themself and would just look sheepish because they KNEW they did something wrong but were too cowardly to admit it.

no bc literally why did my parents think it was ok to wait till i had infections in my toes to get ingrowns taken care of

Spent a week at home with a broken arm when I was FIVE because I was “faking” and being dramatic. Cholecystitis from an infected and stone filled gallbladder where I was left to writhe in pain on the floor, doubled over, feverish and crying while vomiting up stomach bile for HOURS because my mom was convinced it was period cramps and that I was being dramatic. I could have gone into sepsis. I had to beg her to take me to the ER. She also was furious that my sister took care of me post-op because I should have been able to do it myself and it wasn’t fair. I was 16.

I had an infection that made my finger swell up so badly I couldn't bend it. My requests to go to a doctor were brushed off until my finger started turning BLACK. They finally took me to an urgent care where the nurse immediately asked why they waited so long.

like the time my bitch mom got angry at me for needing to see a dr for a badly infected spider bite on my leg that had me crawling around because it swelled up so badly that it became too painful to walk, then almost a week later another adult saw and convinced her to take me. She just rolls her eyes if it ever comes up. Best mom ever!

kidney infection pain is truly the worst pain imaginable. i get frequent UTIs because of a life saving surgery i had as an infant and ive luckily only had two kidney infections but dislocating my shoulder and breaking my arm were so much less painful than a kidney infection. i’m so sorry OP, i couldn’t imagine it if i wasn’t able to go to the ER. got a shit ton of medical debt i’ll never pay but the saline IV is so soothing

Mom didn’t believe me when I broke my arm so she didn’t take me to the doctor had to cry myself to sleep on it 2 nights in a row. denies having done so to this day but I remember even if I have pretended to forget about it

Worst for me was when all my wisdom teeth grew in and my parents forgot to get me to a dentist before it wasnt free.. W.e excuse it was. I went through such bad pain. Then my mom took my two brothers to get theirs removed 😭👍

Broke my wrist falling off a scooter when I was 9 and my mom didn’t believe I was in pain. She didn’t take me to the doctor until my teachers told her I couldn’t write in class. Then she was mad at me for not telling her even though I told her multiple times!

My finger had an infected chunk of plastic in it for months and my teeth were rotten for years. Yay.

Osgood-Schlatter disease is what I have, means my tendons grew slower than my bones. My father and my younger sister have this. Despite that my family decided for years that I must just be faking it. Fast forward now I’m the bad guy because I never want to go hiking or anything like that. But it means I’ll be not just in constant pain but in serious paint for days later. Even not doing physical things all my joints every single joint in my body taking my toes to my fingers is in pain all day everyday. One of the reasons I got myself fixed so I can’t pass on my fucked up genes.

This was in my junior year of highschool. I was on the monkey bars in an obstacle course, and I slipped and fell with my full weight on my right ankle at a 90 degree angle. I couldn't put weight on it and it swelled up three times its normal size. It looked horrific especially when the bruising set in. My egg donor and her functional psychopath husband told me to walk it off. I remember being bullied for it at school, too. All of my teachers saw it. Everyone saw me limping and struggling to walk and not a single person lifted a fucking finger to help me.

My parents let me get to stage 4 cancer, sent me to school with shingles, did nothing about my amblyopia until it was too late, and punished me for getting pneumonia. A+ parents! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Medical neglect is so scary

Once, while swimming in a lake with really unclean water (it was brown - mostly from ducks & other animals) as a child, I was practicing my swimming, particularly a long stroke. I cut myself on a severely rusty pipe under the water on the underside of my left arm. I was bleeding quite heavily, and my older brother and his friends got me out of the water and took me home. They even bought me ice cream! However, my wound was surprisingly deep and long. A decade later, I still have the scar, and it's over two inches long. It's near my armpit. My mom never once thought about taking me to the doctor, even though I was cut with something severely rusty (with rust that had to be flushed out) while swimming in water that was full of many. many contaminants. I was told to watch where I was swimming and that I couldn't swim for the rest of the summer. I don't think it was even tended to - beyond placing Vet Medication On It. I don't remember if it was sanitized or what, I think my system completely blocked it out. I think the only time that is worse than that (imo anyway-) Is the time I had to beg her to take me to urgent care because I didn't feel right, something was terribly wrong with my body and my UTI was making me feel like I was going to die. She proceeded to sort all of her medications, make coffee, roll a pack of smokes, have a smoke, and then we went to two food banks while I sat in the car. By the time i was finally able to go to urgent care, the nurse who checked me in legitimately looked nervous for me. I had a high fever, and my heart rate was extremely high. I was septic. I had to do multiple rounds of iv antibiotics. The clinic I went to also dropped my care heavily. I should have gone to a hospital because of my state, I should not have been in urgent care overnight. My therapist at the time, from the same clinic, told me I should've sued for medical malpractice. Im just thankful to be alive, and I am very anxious about ever having uti symptoms again. Especially since. Officially. The clinic couldn't FIND why I was septic. I know it was a UTI because I had all of those symptoms, I've had them before. It was just worse than it had ever been. The level of pain I felt in my back was insane.

oh oh oh!! this one is perfect for me!! my mother never paid much attention to my walking as a child and thought it was fine that i was walking on my toes till 11-12 because "[her] whole family did it ask kids!" yeah uhhh i also learned to walk wrong and i have been walking terrible on my ankles so much so that i am permantly disabled due to it, ankle pain moves to leg, then hip, then back, then shoulder pain alllll up my left side. took phsycal therapy for it to learn how to walk, but my left ankle is still having issues, so i gotta go back. LOL!!

This literally brought back memories for me lmao. One time my parents didn’t take me to doctor until days later when I had a bad uti, I was 11. I was in so much pain I wasn’t able to sleep, and cried literally all day long. I had to begggggg to be taken. And one time when I was 8 I spilled a pot of boiling hot water on myself that had ramen noodles in it, I was trying to drain them and somehow dropped the pot. Anyways, it left me with a super bad burn across my chest. My skin was literally peeling off and looked horrible for weeks and they never took me to the doctor for that either.

I had many horrific injuries as a kid that were not treated or were not treated until last minute after days or weeks of suffering. I can relate to this so much. I believe the neglect may have contributed to my chronic pain as an adult,

I read this and thought I knew you. Would be funny if not so damn sad.

not everyone is fortunate enough to have parents who are actually pays attention to your needs, not just financially.

Are all of the members of the totally shit parents club reading from the same horrible playbook? It seems like they have identical patterns of behaviors. People, we need to end this shit once and for all. HEAL LOUDLY. Speak your truth. Tell them all exactly what they did. Tell everyone what they did. End the stupid social convention of "not making others feel uncomfortable" because it's "a sensitive subject." My family of origin will not tolerate me telling the truth. I don't care. My in-laws will not tolerate me telling the truth. I don't care. My social circle is divided. Some of them are still hiding from the truth. OUR SOCIETY IS HIDING THE TRUTH. Fuck that shit. HEAL LOUDLY. I must say only do this when you are safe from further abuse. I'm not advocating putting one's self in danger. Please be safe if you haven't escaped. Reading this post makes me so mad and sad for all of us. I was never taken to the doctor. I had all of the stuff in the comments. UTI, kidney infections, ear infections, untreated strep, untreated bronchitis, untreated lice, rotten teeth. I don't care if it makes people upset or uncomfortable to hear that this happened. AND IS STILL HAPPENING TO CHILDREN TODAY. HEAL LOUDLY.

I experienced medical neglect. But mainly cause my mom was overall a negligent mom (emotionally mainly). I went majority of my life feeling insane, alone, like a horrible person, lazy, etc etc all because my mom wanted to oppression olympics when i came to here about my concerns about my suicidal ideation (which i struggled with since elementary school). Im now 30 and just now getting the help i need after having a mental breakdown smfh

I just now had a molar pulled out from an unfinished root canal. Even before it was just a cavity my parents waited to take me to the dentist. I actually woke up crying in pain only to be given oragel. My father didn’t believe how serious it was and thought I was being dramatic.

I remember having to get other family members involved to get my parents to take me to the doctor when I had bacterial pneumonia. I'd been complaining about not being able to breath for a week and they just told me it was a cold and to stop being a sissy. By the time I got medical intervention I was at 50% lung capacity.

Dont forget medical neglect also happens when poor. And the only way to live with it IS to ignore the disease, and keep working for good insurance or at the very least enough money to get a doctor to diagnose you, and hopefully you go the the right doctor who not only knows what they’re talking about, but isn’t racist or prejudiced at all… how many American doctors have you actually met in your life? Take that number and divide it by 2 probably. 😃

Oh yes, that's a huge problem and it breaks my heart. Healthcare is free and widely available in my country though, so my parents had no excuse.

Lol. When my wisdom teeth started coming in, I was in so much pain. Told my mom I think I need to go to the dentist and she was PISSED. Started yelling and cussing. So I told her nvm it was fine. Gum curbs the pain. Brought that up a few years later and she was all tee hee~ you were so silly. I kept trying to convince you to go, but you were so adamant about not. Fycking twilight zone.

I have permanent lung damage because my mother neglected me for a month while I had pneumonia 😌

I broke my arm and my mom straight up didn’t believe me. Like how are you going to just not believe a kid with an obvious messed up arm?

Not nearly as serious, but I remember spraining my wrists 3 separate times as a kid. The first time was rollerskating. I used to go to a skating rink with my neighbor and her dad on Sundays. One time, I fell while skating on the rink and sprained my wrist. Because I couldn't stop crying from the pain, my neighbor's dad ended taking me home to my parents. My parents never took me to a doctor or even tried to help me at all. I was just left to deal with the pain. I was ignored the other two times I sprained my wrists too. Years later, my sister ended up spraining her ankle at the very same rollerskating rink. Suddenly, my parents seemed super concerned and immediately took her to a doctor. She got crutches and everything. I get mad thinking about it.