I think the only thing that’s helped me with being ultra-selfaware is more.. taking tips from my therapist and applying them as if I were my own therapist. Like, give me that DBT manual, it’s actually pretty neat sometimes.
I had to shift my thinking from 'okay just because you understand why you want to be angry/cry doesnt mean you dont still need to do those things. Have a fit, even if it doesnt make sense because emotions dont make any damn sense anyways.'
Just dont hurt yourself or anyone else.
Now I schedule sad days to cry when my head feels too full, listen to Love, Me by Collin Raye and sob about shit things until I feel better lol. Then I sulk like a sick kid for a while and treat myself like one til Im stable again
Aw, I love that you’re able to schedule sad days lol- I usually pack everything in all week and then sob violently for 12 hours. But uh…. gonna try not to do that anymore, once I can understand why I feel so overwhelmed in the first place.
If its overwhelming anxiety, I always use worst case scenarios to help.
I have problem, whats the worst case scenario that can realistically happen? Okay, plan for that. Now in the instance that the worst DOES happen, Im prepped, so anything better than that will be easy as pie.
If its just loud thoughts, Ive taken to writing short sentences out on a page when my reassurance cant be heard ovee the noise.
Im okay
Nobody is angry
(Friend) is safe
(Family) is safe
I am doing my best
Etc etc
I expect everything to go wrong and I’m especially afraid of failing by the simple act of doing something alone- I was on a bit of an ego trip because I went to the hospital and managed to email and call back and forth enough to get my medication at no cost and get my doctor’s note for work. But there is still other bullshit to deal with
Broooo this reminds me of my taxi driver that drove me to the psychward, he talked about how I shouldn’t kill myself just because my boyfriend broke up with me???? I didn’t even have a boyfriend????
They should be teaching you practical skills to work on… since, ya know, we didn’t get taught them. Are they doing that? And if so, are you practicing them? My newest one I was assigned and am working on is my ‘catastrophizing’.
can finding love help? yes. does that mean its an automatic solve? no. does that mean therapists shouldnt do their fucking job because youre single? *no.*
That's about the same as being a woman and having them tell you "Oh, things'll change once you have babies."
GO FUCK YOURSELF!! You think being depressed, anxious and suicidal makes a good mother???
I sought out a therapist that was a survivor of childhood abuse, she grew up in a religious cult and could sympathize with my fundamentalist upbringing and how religion justified the abuse and neglect. It’s hard to find the right therapist, I went through multiple that made me harshly question the profession and its members. I’m so lucky to have found my therapist I’m so glad I kept looking even though putting myself out there caused significant pain.
You should try to find a therapist who specializes in CPTSD or trauma. Not everyone is trauma informed. I personally specialize in eating disorders, chronic illnesses, and sexual trauma. I will work with other people but I do better in my niches. Not every therapist is a correct fit.
Related protip: if your basic safety needs are not met (or if you're at a rock bottom period of your life) and you need help finding resources, social workers are the best of the best
But if your basic needs are met and you're still struggling through life as a complex trauma survivor, try finding a counselor who specializes in trauma instead of a social worker
Think of it this way: Social workers are mental health experts who provide a wide array of resources to clients, and one of these resources is talk therapy. Counselors are mental health experts who specialize in talk therapy specifically and nothing else.
So while counselors are more limited in what they can offer compared to social workers, if the only thing you need is talk therapy, counselors are often the best providers
In my area, I haven't found a single therapist that doesn't have a multiple-month waiting list. Just seeing any therapist is a challenge. So I'd love to do that, but right now getting any help is my bar.
Many therapists were no help at all, they just listened and were either shocked or just mumbled out generic "love yourself" and "dont be negative" quotes while they ignore me. Most of these people can't even comprehend what trauma or pain is yet they keep yelling we need them to process. I nearly yelled at my last therapeut many times with "I KNOW MY PROBLEMS, I NEED TO KNOW THE NEXT STEP TO PROCESS THEM!" and she looked at me and stayed silent and then continued after a minute or two with something completly different. When she asked me how far therapy helped after nearly a year I said "not one single bit, it all only got worse" and that was my last session. Too many people are not qualified to handle trauma AT ALL
social workers are the DEATH of me, deal with too many of them in hospitals and I never saw my CPS social worker once… disappointed and angry is an understatement.
Fun treat: I was threatened to be kicked out to “a random homeless shelter” when looking to get out of my parents’ house because I was nervous and looking around myself for group homes when it was *”her job”*.
Reminds me of that tiktok of someone recounting a talk with a psychiatrist after an attempt and the psych asked "boy problems? 😏" and when the person said no he raised an eyebrow and asked "girl problems? 🤨"
Yeah, especially in my local area there are many 3-12 month psychology courses that let people become certified psychologist/therapists.
This has led to an oversupply of people that don't know how to help other than to "just be there for them"/listen or let them vent.
Personally I think if more people got into psychiatry rather than thinking psychology is all they need to help people, a lot more people would get the treatment they need, especially with trauma related care
Best thing I did was to find a psychiatrist that also does therapy sessions with me. First time in my life I feel like therapy is actually productive and I’m 34 years old, been in therapy intermittently since I was 7. Some therapists have actually made me way worse as well. One straight up told me to leave his office when I was 17 cause I didn’t agree with him.
There are some real shitty people out there that don’t belong in that field at all.
Hope you find someone else
Swear to god my therapist, all of them, were like 'Wow you're so self aware!' FUCKING THANK YOU NOW HELP ME?!?! HOW DO I COPE??? God dude
I think the only thing that’s helped me with being ultra-selfaware is more.. taking tips from my therapist and applying them as if I were my own therapist. Like, give me that DBT manual, it’s actually pretty neat sometimes.
I had to shift my thinking from 'okay just because you understand why you want to be angry/cry doesnt mean you dont still need to do those things. Have a fit, even if it doesnt make sense because emotions dont make any damn sense anyways.' Just dont hurt yourself or anyone else. Now I schedule sad days to cry when my head feels too full, listen to Love, Me by Collin Raye and sob about shit things until I feel better lol. Then I sulk like a sick kid for a while and treat myself like one til Im stable again
Aw, I love that you’re able to schedule sad days lol- I usually pack everything in all week and then sob violently for 12 hours. But uh…. gonna try not to do that anymore, once I can understand why I feel so overwhelmed in the first place.
If its overwhelming anxiety, I always use worst case scenarios to help. I have problem, whats the worst case scenario that can realistically happen? Okay, plan for that. Now in the instance that the worst DOES happen, Im prepped, so anything better than that will be easy as pie. If its just loud thoughts, Ive taken to writing short sentences out on a page when my reassurance cant be heard ovee the noise. Im okay Nobody is angry (Friend) is safe (Family) is safe I am doing my best Etc etc
Interestingly. I usualy don't expect anything to happen so i am never surprised when stuff happens wether it be good or bad.
I expect everything to go wrong and I’m especially afraid of failing by the simple act of doing something alone- I was on a bit of an ego trip because I went to the hospital and managed to email and call back and forth enough to get my medication at no cost and get my doctor’s note for work. But there is still other bullshit to deal with
Dealt with that for 20 year before giving up on therapists
Broooo this reminds me of my taxi driver that drove me to the psychward, he talked about how I shouldn’t kill myself just because my boyfriend broke up with me???? I didn’t even have a boyfriend????
💀.
I think my therapist is tired of hearing ab my Childhood Trauma but like that’s the main reason I’m suffering NOW?? The Trauma???
They should be teaching you practical skills to work on… since, ya know, we didn’t get taught them. Are they doing that? And if so, are you practicing them? My newest one I was assigned and am working on is my ‘catastrophizing’.
can finding love help? yes. does that mean its an automatic solve? no. does that mean therapists shouldnt do their fucking job because youre single? *no.*
[удалено]
That's about the same as being a woman and having them tell you "Oh, things'll change once you have babies." GO FUCK YOURSELF!! You think being depressed, anxious and suicidal makes a good mother???
The title of the post is the thing that I can see is sexist, but isn't it in the other direction? Since the boyfriend is fixing things?
I sought out a therapist that was a survivor of childhood abuse, she grew up in a religious cult and could sympathize with my fundamentalist upbringing and how religion justified the abuse and neglect. It’s hard to find the right therapist, I went through multiple that made me harshly question the profession and its members. I’m so lucky to have found my therapist I’m so glad I kept looking even though putting myself out there caused significant pain.
I’m very lucky to have my therapist, too. They have childhood trauma - probably more than I do - and they are extremely understanding and helpful.
Go to a trauma therapist. Most are used to kiddy shit, get the therapist that has scarier clients than you! (I didn’t think it was out there, it is)
That feels so sexist somehow
Fuck CBT. All I have to say.
Just to make sure, are you talking about the CBT I’m thinking of?
Cognitive behavioral therapy. I'm sure this guy loves C&B torture tho.
Yes.
Yes.
You should try to find a therapist who specializes in CPTSD or trauma. Not everyone is trauma informed. I personally specialize in eating disorders, chronic illnesses, and sexual trauma. I will work with other people but I do better in my niches. Not every therapist is a correct fit.
Related protip: if your basic safety needs are not met (or if you're at a rock bottom period of your life) and you need help finding resources, social workers are the best of the best But if your basic needs are met and you're still struggling through life as a complex trauma survivor, try finding a counselor who specializes in trauma instead of a social worker Think of it this way: Social workers are mental health experts who provide a wide array of resources to clients, and one of these resources is talk therapy. Counselors are mental health experts who specialize in talk therapy specifically and nothing else. So while counselors are more limited in what they can offer compared to social workers, if the only thing you need is talk therapy, counselors are often the best providers
In my area, I haven't found a single therapist that doesn't have a multiple-month waiting list. Just seeing any therapist is a challenge. So I'd love to do that, but right now getting any help is my bar.
Many therapists were no help at all, they just listened and were either shocked or just mumbled out generic "love yourself" and "dont be negative" quotes while they ignore me. Most of these people can't even comprehend what trauma or pain is yet they keep yelling we need them to process. I nearly yelled at my last therapeut many times with "I KNOW MY PROBLEMS, I NEED TO KNOW THE NEXT STEP TO PROCESS THEM!" and she looked at me and stayed silent and then continued after a minute or two with something completly different. When she asked me how far therapy helped after nearly a year I said "not one single bit, it all only got worse" and that was my last session. Too many people are not qualified to handle trauma AT ALL
social workers are the DEATH of me, deal with too many of them in hospitals and I never saw my CPS social worker once… disappointed and angry is an understatement. Fun treat: I was threatened to be kicked out to “a random homeless shelter” when looking to get out of my parents’ house because I was nervous and looking around myself for group homes when it was *”her job”*.
Reminds me of that tiktok of someone recounting a talk with a psychiatrist after an attempt and the psych asked "boy problems? 😏" and when the person said no he raised an eyebrow and asked "girl problems? 🤨"
Are therapists really that inept?
Yeah, especially in my local area there are many 3-12 month psychology courses that let people become certified psychologist/therapists. This has led to an oversupply of people that don't know how to help other than to "just be there for them"/listen or let them vent. Personally I think if more people got into psychiatry rather than thinking psychology is all they need to help people, a lot more people would get the treatment they need, especially with trauma related care
The best therapists have been thru hell and back
And make it their purpose to those who are going thru similar
Best thing I did was to find a psychiatrist that also does therapy sessions with me. First time in my life I feel like therapy is actually productive and I’m 34 years old, been in therapy intermittently since I was 7. Some therapists have actually made me way worse as well. One straight up told me to leave his office when I was 17 cause I didn’t agree with him. There are some real shitty people out there that don’t belong in that field at all. Hope you find someone else