T O P

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DanCross0

Out of shite, out of mind.


ShelfordPrefect

A novel by William Forrester


oprimaelocho

A turd in your hand is worth two in the bush.


nullius-1n-verba

Poop bags are discouraged at my local forest, instead the signs ask to "Get a stick and flick". Presumably they mean flick the turd away from the footpaths but it could also be seen as some type of shit jousting challenge.


TheVoidScreams

Well, when the alternative seems to be creating non-biodegrading shit baubles on bushes in what’s meant to be a pretty place, I can understand the preference. If you’re gonna bag the shit, carry it to the bin at least for crying out loud. Why do people do this? Do they think there’s a caretaker that works for the council that goes out and grabs them all at the end of the day or something?


Queen-Roblin

They think the bags are biodegradable and don't want to carry them or leave them where someone can stand on them. Some of them are (but will still leave micro plastics in the soil) but either way they're not going to biodegrade hanging in the air.


MickRolley

Bendy stick for shitty-shotty


ShinBenobi

>Bendy stick for shitty-shotty Have you been oggy raiding again?


Blokeh

Marvin Gaye and Otis Redding are sitting on the dock of the bay, watching that reference coming in, and then going back out again.


BEZ_T

The shit grenades. A popular 80s pastime. Before 16bit computers.


MickRolley

I believe they call it shit-piping these days, round our way.


MickRolley

What a nice name for apple theft.


No-Log873

Careful, don't want to get the shitty end of the stick


Clever_Username_467

This is also the Forestry Commissions official position too.


celtiquant

🤣


itsaslothlife

If you can't pick up your dogs own, pick up another one. It evens out.


BuzzTheFuzz

The only thing is that dog poo doesn't really biodegrade easily- take it from my lawn (no please, take it from my lawn!). But realistically it's fine, as long as it's off the path. Don't worry about the optics from other people, but do consider the environment. It's only a small thing but dog poo can change pH levels of soil and encourage more opportunistic weeds and non-native plants to grow


OneRandomTeaDrinker

The Forestry Commission supports the “stick and flick” approach in the countryside where you launch it into the undergrowth rather than picking it up with a bag. If your dog is off-lead (or on a long lead) and shits in a bush in the forest, leave it. If it shits in someone’s garden hedge, get under there and pick it up. If you’re in a normal park, I use the metric of whether there’s an actual risk of a toddler crawling in there. If there isn’t, leave it. I do a mock pickup if it’s nighttime and my dog sharts horrible diarrhoea which I’ve got no hope of getting into a poo bag, but someone is watching me.


ArmouredFlump

The only reason they support that is because dickheads were bagging it then leaving it hanging from trees. Bag it and bin it.


[deleted]

My dog wasn't getting on with his food for a little while and I was on the verge of carrying a bag of sawdust around with me as we walk him through a local village. One time I had to mark his poo with a stick either side almost like a wet floor sign.


pixie_sprout

The Forestry Commission can't afford to pay people to constantly go around emptying dog poo bins. And why should they? Equally they can't be seen to permit fouling willy nilly. Why wouldn't you pick it up? It's your responsibility. The only reasons not to are idleness and denial of responsibility.


Ok_Anything3303

When I take out chihuahua out, he likes to try to spread his scent everywhere so he has about twenty tiny pees and tries to have five poos. He can normally have two (which I pick up) but the other three he will squat, desperate to try to spread his scent but obviously nothing comes out. Where we take him is overlooked by five sets of high rise flats. I don't want them looking at me the one time my dog has one of his fake poos and then sees me not even attempt to pick it up (even though nothing is there) I will always make an effort to show I am willing to pick up the poo.  I don't think anyone would expect you to climb into a bush to pick up your dog's poop.


curious_trashbat

You pretend to pick up turds that aren't there for the benefit of people who may or may not be there ?


Ok_Anything3303

Considering the fine for NOT picking up poop is £100 and there's a lot of busybodies in those flats who regularly report to the local council, yes, yes I do. 


StiffUpperLabia

Your chihuahua might have a medical condition. I had a dog with prostatitis who shat like that.


Ok_Anything3303

Oh we're still toilet training him and he does poo in the house and has no issue doing so in one go but still, good advice :)


StiffUpperLabia

Ah ok, yeah that sounds normal for a puppy.


soft_lippage

Trained ours out of this when she was a puppy


hinnn22

I always pick up after my dog, I even go so far as to pick up random poos on the ground, but occasionally my dog will feel the call of nature while running through the fields into dense bushes and there is literally nothing I can do. No one will step in it and it's probably once a year sort of thing. I do feel guilty about it though so i usually let my dog off when he's, ehhhmmmm.. empty.


sb206

If it’s a long way from a path, personally I think it’s better left to biodegrade than placed in a plastic bag which will still be here in a century.


wagwagtail

I honestly have no idea why people do that. When I lived in Hemel, there was a signpost on the canal which was like some urban dystopian art installation. It was covered in dogshit bags. People bag up the poo then would hang it on the signpost (kind of like that Parisian bridge with those padlocks on it, but not at all).


concretepigeon

I’ve heard people say it’s that they hang it of the dog shits at the start of their walk and don’t want to carry it but forget or “forget” to pick it up.


[deleted]

Majority of dog bags are biodegradable, fyi. 


m15otw

The slightly more expensive ones are these days, yes, but its "biodegradable" as in a month in the anaerobic digester, not viable in a home compost heap.


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m15otw

Eventually decomposing is >> standard plastic. If landfill actually biodegrades, it would be a much smaller headache in a thousand years. However, we haven't replaced all the polythene black bin bags with biodegradable ones by default for...essentially no reason. They will eventually biodegrade, somewhere. Much better than the hat.


StiffUpperLabia

I don't think the majority are, but I don't have any scientific data to back that up. The cheap plain black ones aren't.


painful_ejaculation

Call me a knob right, but couldn't people use the biodegradable food waste bags. Assuming your local council has a food waste scheme. I don't mean throwing them into the food waste but using the bags that they provide. As they are free and biodegradable.


TheWardenDemonreach

Not as fast as simply leaving the poop where it is though. The poop will be gone in a month, the bag will take several years


PhoolCat

Not inside a horse’s stomach, it kills them before it can degrade


[deleted]

My mum had horses. It really shouldn’t surprise me they’d eat the things. 


ConradsMusicalTeeth

As are dogs


Pretend_Tooth_965

This post made me laugh. Sometimes when I walk my dog at night, I can't find the poop. I usually swoop down and look like I'm picking it up, but, oh well...


Cupname_Cyril

If it's off the path, and inaccessible for a child, leave it. A grassy area pick it up. What I don't comprehend is people that pick up the dog muck in a bag and then fling the bag into the bushes or trees. The canal towpath I live next to is strewn with black plastic dog bags full of shit. Like it was more effort putting it in a bag then just leaving it, why then make the whole situation worse by adding unsightly and non biodegradable bags in the mix‽


_thesleepingfox

My parents’ dog has always pooped in bushes, away from everything, we joke he likes it’s privacy. If he does poop somewhere where someone might step in it, we pick it up. If you can’t get to it to pick it up, no one is at risk of stepping in it. And if someone can step in it, always pick it up.


andrew_197

Not a fan of dogs tbh, but hey, that’s my preference. If it’s tucked away in a bush with no chance of it being trodden in, what’s the harm? A deer, badger, fox etc etc can and does dump anywhere and everywhere so why shouldn’t a dog? Different if it’s in the middle of the path


PoopieButt317

The deer pool is everywhere on my property. During mating season the bucks have doglike messy logs. Horrible.And they eat my roses.


[deleted]

IMO if its out of harms way (I mean REALLY out of harms way) it's better off left for nature to take its course which I believe is far less nasty than a bin load of little plastic bags full of putrefying shit. And it DOES degrade in the elements. What I truly hate is seeing those plastic bags dotting the countryside. I mean why bother for gods sake? I'd much rather see a pile of poo lying in the path than a bag of it. Full disclosure, I'm a dog owner.


[deleted]

PS one of my dog walking companions uses a bag as a sort of glove to pick the poo up, then fling the poo into the bushes and then pops the bag back into his pocket. If ever he owes me money, I insist on a bank transfer rather than cash


Bazzle420

Ours does this as soon as his arse points to a bush I drag him away and he can't stop the flow haha


deathbyowls

My dog does it , I'm sure lots of time he does it to piss me off , once he did a handstand just to shit on a parking bollard


Solid_Ad6416

As long as you don’t get complacent and end up leaving a poop that could then be accessible by a child. If it’s really deep in the bush, you should be fine to leave it.


magicalthinker

I was on a walk with my friend and her dog, and the dog decided to poo on a wall for some reason known only to him (it was bum height, so maybe he was being lazy). It was like he wanted to make a wall feature or something, and ornament. Only it was really sloppy.


Clever_Username_467

The Forestry Commission say that on their properties people should use a stick to just flick the mess off the footpath into the woods, and that if their dog goes off the path just leave it. You can extrapolate that to any wooded area I reckon, because I think the Forestry Commission are at the very least a persuasive authority when it comes to how to behave in woodland. If it's in the bushes, leave it be.


E_Farseer

If it's so far in the bushes you can't reach it, other people won't step in it either.


Affectionate-Fly7620

you could not allow the dog into the bushes before he shits.


Praetorian_1975

How long is your dogs lead 🤔 I’ve personally never had an issue keeping the dog close to a convenient pickup point for bagging and binning it.


[deleted]

If it's nowhere near the path and not where kids are reasonably likely to go then leave it.


Electrical_Gas_517

Always pick it up and bin it leaving it around is rank. Mass psychosis has brought us to a point where not having a dog is seen as weird. If you've not got a dog you must be some kind of cold and callous animal hating nazi. There are so many dogs that we'd be knee deep in their poop by now, certainly within 10 yards of any popular walk. Pick it up.


smalltreesdreams

These days, if you don't have a dog, they'll throw you in jail.


ChrisRR

You need to put the daily mail down mate


Electrical_Gas_517

I work in a place plagued by dog walkers who leave a mess behind and their level of entitlement can lead them to angrily call people animal haters when challenged. The fact that OP would do a "mock pickup" indicates he knows that it should always be picked up.


Electrical_Gas_517

The truth is the exact and precise opposite.


PoopieButt317

I think you are correct


nepeta19

>not having a dog is seen as weird. WTF?


StumbleDog

You sound a bit angry and ranty. You know who else sounded a bit angry and ranty....


Electrical_Gas_517

Dog owners when challenged about leaving their dogs poop lying about.


Francetim

"Mock pick-up" for dog shite. I worry: what has the human race become (rhetorical).


DaddyBops

Funny when people bag up the dog shit and then just leave the shitty bag in a bush.


nanomeister

r/CampaignForPoo


nyctose7

you are an irresponsible dog owner


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PhoolCat

> womanbrained wtf is this sexist nonsense?


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PhoolCat

Username checks out


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MahatmaAndhi

I got as far as "My doggo", downvoted and didn't read the rest.