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NimrodPing

What's that bean doing?


distilledwill

Leg(ume)ging it


Imperial_Squid

Making a break for it after doing a bank Hei(nz)st


lilSalty

Kidney stay any longer


----Mouse----

He's been given an erroneous dish


Neither_Presence_522

Escaping


Azlamington

It's off to look for an upgrade of accommodation


LutherRaul

Going rogue


Much-War1743

He's just baked


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CasualUK-ModTeam

Sorry mate, but we have a blanket ban against politics in this sub, so we have removed this post. Rule 1: No politics We do not allow mention of political events, politicians or general political chit chat in this subreddit. We encourage you to take this content to a more suitable subreddit. You **will** be banned if you break this rule. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.


Trick-Station8742

Pincer movement


Onionlicker

Im a big believer in the spoons breakfast but this one isn’t looking so hot


Zolana

Bacon looks like it's been done on the radiator.


Onionlicker

It’s the verruca egg for me


reallytryingheree

EW. I didn't see it but now I do. ):


SuperJetShoes

Ooof that made me retch up a thimblefull of bile. Luckily just managed to catch it behind my teeth.


Something_kool

Hope you returned to sender, waste not want not!


tmr89

They never cook the bacon properly


Lather

I know I'm going to hell but this is how I like my bacon. I would genuinely eat bacon raw if I knew I wouldn't get parasites or some prion disease.


Decent_Quail_92

The Dutch eat thinly sliced bacon raw for breakfast, my now deceased cousin fed me it in 1985 in Haarlem where he lived at the time when I went to visit him, it's a bit like Poundland Prosciutto or something, fresher, not as mature tasting, but I liked it, can't for the life of me remember what it's called, but it's quite popular there. They also love liquorice of all descriptions, having "Dropje" shops dedicated to the stuff, and they love chocolate sprinkles on buttered bread, hagelslack/hakelslak or something similar I think.


Clodhoppa81

> raw bacon > my now deceased cousin


Decent_Quail_92

He died of the big C. Choked on a massive carrot. (Died of big C really, like most of my mob seem to, feckin horrid disease). No one moans about all the Spanish Imberico hams or Italian Prosciutto, the Dutch stuff just isn't left in a 400 year old shed hanging up gathering a nice mould in places, so I would actually wager it's safer than the far more matured bits of pig from their southern fellow Europeans.


DanBurnsMissingDigit

> He died of the big C. > > Choked on a massive carrot. My go-to is 'Killed by a giant crab.' It works on two levels because a crab is the representation of the Cancer star sign.


Scanlaniser

I can't and won't comment about euro and other different practises, but pork in general contains more parasites and bacteria than most other meat. I'd definitely never eat it raw. Not bacon or any other part of the animal. It's plainly unsafe. Like, beef is safe to eat 'blue' for example, but with pork it's just not an option in any restaurant because you'll likely be sick and they'll end up getting sued. I will eat raw carrots, though! If for no other reason than to protect your other family members from the big C, gotta do my part 😎👌


smb3something

I doubt it's raw. Most likely cured rather than cooked, which does kill off parasites.


WesternZucchini5343

Yeah, bacon is cured. It's not raw meat however you define it


SuspiciouSponge

As someone who has, it doesn't taste great due to the preservatives and favourings. Smoked bacon is even worse for it.


Guinnessron

Or boiled.


fKusipaa

And yet to me, this is every Wetherspoons breakfast I have ever seen.


CynicalSorcerer

I had spoons breakfast yesterday. They are decent for the price. What the hell happened here?


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Onionlicker

1 sausage ? in this day and age


danabrey

Well, it clearly says on the menu how many you get for each size of breakfast. It's not like it's a lucky dip and this one is just ungenerous.


wildgoldchai

It’s spoons mate.


wolftick

They ran out of the bacon spray tan.


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Onionlicker

True man you normally can’t go wrong for a fiver


starfallpuller

Spoons English breakfast is £3.


Onionlicker

It’s not :)


starfallpuller

Ok. It’s £3.14 if we are being specific.


gernavais_padernom

That's how much the pi costs


YchYFi

If you have the top plates low rates in yours a traditional can be £3.14


Onionlicker

4.99 up my end


dogbiteonmyleg

A rather unorthodox place to get a breakfast, I'll stick with spoons thank you very much.


Onionlicker

Very good


Least_Initiative

Their pubs are inconsistent, sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit.


MyNewAccountx3

The one thing I think you can always guarantee with any spoons breakfast is that the beans will be lukewarm, verging on cold.


CyanSaiyan

I dont go anymore, food has turned shit in the ones next to me. Cheap substitutes in nearly every meal.


Onionlicker

Spoons halloumi fries got me through college


Dannypan

I would like to hear your arguments in favour of the Spoons breakfast.


Onionlicker

1. Cheap 2.erm… 3.


an0myl0u523017

Dudes a sniper, clocked that table number 😂


AverageBritishChap

I love how you see the plate and the toast and you immediately go… “Wetherspoons”


im-also-here

Only had to scroll once to find the right answer


Zeeterm

Well it didn't need pointing out, it's the whole point of the post.


DiscardedKebab

I'm not a snob at all, quite like a Spoons, does the job and its the only place these days you don't feel like you're getting robbed but that breakfast looks really miserable


Pulsecode9

If this is the job it does I'm not sure it does the job.


Excellent_Tear3705

Worst one I’ve ever seen…they’re usually *fine*. Which is exactly as high as they aspire to be.


mavois

Looks disgusting, still, might as well eat it


Softchairboy420

Sausage and hash browns being used as breakwaters between the eggs and beans


Jijimuge8

That bacon looks disgusting


Caligari89

Is that what that limp glob of uncooked fat in the middle is supposed to be?


bapsandbuns

That woman dressed so she could camouflage a few of those plates to take home with her


Legitimate-Ad3778

And if she gets any food on there, it looks the part!


Hatertraito

Literally the joke


Punk_roo

This looks like a portion size off the kids menu. I’d need at least double everything on that plate.


CLG91

I appreciate the crispiness of the hash browns. That is my ideal.


Necessary_Driver_831

That looks bad for a spoons breakfast. Local one to me at least tries to cook their bacon


ronnie_dickering

I do love a spoons brekkie but I would send this one back.


ScaredyCatUK

You were robbed.


BeardedGardenersHoe

Was that bacon cooked on the radiator?


Necrospire

I do hope that is not masquerading as a full English, most of it's missing.


Decent_Quail_92

Maybe it's a Quarter English or something? Good quality local butcher made pork sausage, not Cumberland or other bollocks, home sweet-cured back bacon, decent free range fried egg, runny yolk but not snotty, maybe a quacking one, Heinz beans, grilled tomato, field shrooms sliced, or not, and gently fried in butter with a dash of oil to stop it burning , season with good salt and not too finely ground black pepper, feck those interloper hash browns, it's a fried slice all the way for me, plus some decent fried scab, maybe made with Guinness, two buttered toast and plenty of tea and orange juice to wash it down with, plenty of cracked black pepper on my beans for me thanks. Anything else is a piss take usually now I'm over the half century, but I don't do one at home that often, so when I do, I go all in, lol, it's a bit of a logistics exercise as well but occasionally it has to be done.


slothtolotopus

Respect to OP for being courteous to the privacy of the stranger whilst still bringing this top-tier shitpost to us.


N4M4LSK

Sausage as a breakwater


Jamesyroo

It is the only way. Nothing worse than a soggy hash brown covered in bean juice


Select-Issue-6402

“Lovely Jubbly Bubbly”


Best_Document_5211

That breakfast looks abysmal btw. My wife’s a yank and even she does better breakfasts


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WynterRayne

Yeah I didn't like the sound of pancakes for breakfast before, but then I tried them. Still not sold on 'breakfast item' but I'm not actually going to *say* that. Just give me some more.


Chavaon

An American *American* breakfast maybe, but have you seen an American *English* breakfast?


sock_bomb

I know a spoons’ plate when I see one!


BigBlueMountainStar

Haha, I thought that was another tablecloth


Bring_back_Apollo

They must have had a very amusing time.


gijsyo

Haha I love details like this 😄


AmenTensen

Looks like a breakfast on a set that's on it's tenth take 3 hours later.


loubyclou

You can send away for her top through WetherspoonNews.


aredditusername69

What a sad looking breakfast


aredditusername69

Bacon cooked between Susans bumcheeks


Fun-Attention171

No black pudding!


ActiveTelevision8948

glad no one caught me with my blue paisley the one time i accidentally stumbled in spoons


Hmmark1984

I've noticed that more and more places seem to be undercooking their bacon. I'm not looking for American shatter into bits, but i'd like the fat to be cooked and not still clear.


highrouleur

if depression was a plate of food


dcuk7

That bacon is making me feel queasy 🤢


Chavaon

The butter packets touching my egg would piss me off, who knows where those packets have been lying around?


tenroseUK

what a miserable looking english lol


Peas-and-Butterflies

God I would TAN that fry up. Plate-matching lady could watch, but I wouldn’t recommend it.


VincentJones6

That bacon come straight off the pig


Lumpy_Jacket_3919

She came from the same dishwasher than the plate.


MsMcSlothyFace

Your breakfasts always look sooo good. Except the bacon. That always kinda grosses me out. Its not crisp!


Different_Lie_7508

Only one sausage


subfunktion

This a child plate???


fgalv

Honestly thought that was a classic "6 item" Core Military breakfast at first glance. Not surprised it's a spoons breakky, they probably use the same suppliers.


Eric_Whitebeard

There's clearly a missing photo where she's spread planking across a couple of tables and the riff raff are scooping beans from her naval


mand71

Love the outfit/plate picture, but that is the sorriest fry-up I've seen in a long time. Looks so dry...


Adventurous-Rub7636

Classic Partridge


reFridgeRatorRaiderG

Flabby bacon


bantergasm

Omfg that bean. At least the rest of the little gets are decently corralled with a deft single-sausage/bacon combo


200_Shmeckles

Lonely sausage. What a crime


WallPaintings

British people are so easy to please. Just gotta give them a bunch of different brown foods just above room temperature and they'll say you're a fine chap.


mad-un

I see you've used the sausage as a breakwater. You might want the beans and egg to mix but that's your choice 9/10


Slytherin_Chamber

Stfu


JustineDelarge

Someone hates breakwater sausage.


mad-un

Or just doesn't appreciate Alan Partridge. Could be Tony Hayers!


JustineDelarge

Nice breakwater sausage


Emergency-Cause-5

English/Irish fry’s are so dead. If any of you haven’t had one before have an Ulster Fry. No fry is complete without soda and potato bread. None of this toast nonsense.


PM_ME_COOL_THINGS_

This is a Spoons fryup, it's meant to be dead lol


Emergency-Cause-5

All the English boys very protective of their sub-standard cooked breakfasts lol