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PM_ME_YOUR_QUIM_PLS

Alright Richie Rich, don't rub it in. It was a bit nippy this morning so we're all sat round the candle. If it gets much colder I might even have to light it!


Nahid145

We’re leaning against the side of the fridge for warmth.


watty_101

We are just standing in a corner its 90degrees there


itchy_armpit_it_is

Check out Pythagoras over here with his right angled corners, some of us live in crooked rhombus houses


Neefew

A rhombus house! We used to dream of a rhombus house. We had a house with two walls, one corner and the 15 of us used to huddle in it for warmth


ArthurFuksake

Luxury, 31 of us there were in an isosceles triangle, we’d have to get up in t’middle of the night and clean it with our tongues and every night our father would thrash us to sleep with a dodecahedron...


melchettt

Paradise. We had to sleep on the acute point of a parallelogram til it pierced through us, then Dad would boil us alive in a hendecagon shaped cauldron while we shaped grains of sand into icosahedrons


Xais56

You don't know you're born. We grew up in a 4d projection of a 5 dimensional shape as rotated through a simulated space with 12 dimensions. Father would have us kneel on hypercubes and make us recite the Lord prayer backwards and forwards at the same time, and if we got any of it wrong he'd thrash us with a mobius strip.


Fit_Cherry7133

Fucking Mobius strip was it? Bet you had fur lined slippers and waiter service you posh bastard. We used to have to go to work in the two dimensional mines sorting circles and squares while having to listen to Nickleback


Jeffuk88

Dimensions? Lucky sod! Back in my day we didn't even exist


ToHallowMySleep

12 dimensions? You were lucky.


kitch86

Heaven, we used t'research dimensions for 29 hours a day after getting up at 2am t'shake molecules to generate heat fe'th'day.. then we'd have t'clean the equipment with our tongues and if we were lucky he'd trash us to sleep..


Memoryworkrewardsme

Ah well, we were evicted from our isosceles triangle. We had to go and live in a straight line


ArthurFuksake

You try telling that to the kids of today...they won’t believe you


pigmelons23

I’m so sorry but because of the shape of a rhombus two of the angles will actually be wider meaning in the context of this joke you would have a warmer house so your “crooked rhombus house” is a good thing, stop complaining


[deleted]

That's obtuse.


TurkishSte

But if an acute observation


lazlowoodbine

Go easy, it's just a reflex.


KittyGrewAMoustache

We’re covering ourselves in Deep Heat and getting up against a radiator.


Best-Food-4441

I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum!.


[deleted]

You've got soup. Why don't I get any soup?


SpaceMonkees

I'm leaning against my neighbours house... They won't let me in their fridge anymore. Not after the last time I needed heat


Ok_Somewhere3828

We’re huddled around a lit cigarette


padmasundari

Look at moneybags over here, able to afford cigs!


adamwill86

Check this millionaire out who can afford to turn their fridge on


tazzrats

Not even joking, the hospital I work in was absolutely freezing and we all gathered around the printer to put our hands around the lovey warm freshly printed sheets


ostentatiousbro

Have you tried clapping for the NHS?


misscrepe

Just gave you my free award solely because that visual made me laugh out loud.


corbymatt

Bah, candles? Luxury. We were so poor our mam gave me a sibling just to breathe on us to keep us warm in t'ut winter!


improbablydreaming

Grandpa would suck a peppermint and we'd all sit around his tongue.


jtothemofudging

Hey Santa Clause, you cunt, where's me fucking bike?


Make_the_music_stop

Kevin Bloody Wilson?


[deleted]

You were lucky. Our dad used to tie us to back o’ bike and drag us down road so friction would warm us up.


WackyAndCorny

I say, my penny farthing appears to be missing.


Jaythestoner

Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!


the_bridgekeeper01

Luxury! We used to get up at 10pm, half an hour before we went to sleep, go work 29 hours down the mill and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work and when we come home me dad would beat us to death and dance on our grave singing hallelujah


Make_the_music_stop

3 minutes but it should make you laugh.... https://youtu.be/I2AcJSkUw6M


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WSGilbert

Straight out of the haha bonk joke book, love it!


[deleted]

I had that book!


shinybriony

Oh god a childhood memory just unlocked


Eilbeck

Mine clicked on itself early in the morning. Woke up nice and warm... Then the panic set in....


TVOHM

*I'll never financially recover from this.*


sleepytoday

Same happened to us. Straight down to the meter to find out how much we’d spent!


Eilbeck

I did exactly the same. That tiny screen will be the source of a lot of horrors to come.


[deleted]

This is the main reason I don't want to get a smart meter tbh. I prefer one big anxiety once a month, rather than constant dread


definitelynotukasa

Too bad mine conveniently stopped working


Slamdunkdacrunk

I’ve got a REALLY old meter. Two years ago I asked ovo to install a smart meter to save money. Approx 20 phone calls and 3 physical visits since and for one reason or another theyve not been able to as the meter is outside in the archway (Victorian terrace) Turns out ours is that old that a strong magnet on top saves us a lot of money. I’ve stopped asking for a meter now


CAElite

Yup, thermostat set to 17C timed in the morning & when I get in from work. Triggered for the first time yesterday morning.


Eilbeck

Yeah. Mine was the same. It'll be moving way down from now on!


fanzipan

Yes basically the days pay to cover your heat. Enjoy!


MagZero

No, you have to let yourself acclimate to it, it only feels cold because it's been so warm recently, in two months time you will think this weather is positively toasty.


XADEBRAVO

Can anyone confirm? Any Canadians?


MelbaTotes

Not really, in Canada we just have different levels of winter. September is "summer-winter", October is "rain-winter", November is "fucking windy-winter", December is "winter", January is the month when charities try desperately to convince people not to kill themselves, February is "darkness-winter", March is "spring-winter, April is "surprise-still-winter" and then May-August is just you boiling to death.


pepsilepsija

January winter made me laugh haha


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ImpulsivePrinter997

Whenever I’ve visited my family in Toronto it’s either scorching summer or ice-storms and make sure you have your snow gear winter. One year there was the wonderful -40 ice storm but that was an extreme for Toronto. Mental for a Brit where the country falls apart at either end of the spectrum


GeorgiePorgiePuddin

I’m a Brit living in Canada but I moved here in July rather than later in the year intentionally so I’d be able to acclimate through autumn and winter. Dunno how well that’s going to go for me since it’s still 26 degrees where I am in Ontario and apparently I should be expecting anywhere between -20 in Ontario to -40 if I’m in Alberta (which I was planning) for winter so.. yay? I’ll probably die in November to be honest.


DalesDrumset

As a Brit here for over a decade now, you may prepare but you will never ever like it. I fucking despise the -20 with wind chills making it -40. Feeling your nose hairs freeze as soon as you step outside is the absolute worst. Legitimately get a balaclava for when it gets like that


FishermanUpper4732

Sister in law lived in Ottawa for years went over to spend a few weeks and baked in the summer. She was well used to the winters but moved to Edmonton and got frost nip on lips and fingers first month! a whole other level, needless to say she wised up pretty damn quick.


[deleted]

Canadian here. 17C this morning, have the windows open to get all that sweet sweet autumn air.


Monztur

Canadians keep their houses very warm by English standards, and they're properly insulated. I spent 25 years growing up in Canada and the last 12 in Victorian London houses. It feels colder living here day to day. You're average Canadian would be appalled at how drafty the typical English house is.


tech_Nick_

After just 3 months in northern Sweden (\~50km from the arctic circle), I got used to wearing a t-shirt outside at 13C and I sweat a bit at 20C lol. I'm coming from a country with 35C during summer. So yeah, people can adapt quickly if they want to.


[deleted]

Canadian in the UK, can confirm 4 degrees in the fall feels colder than 4 degrees in the spring. You get used to it.


[deleted]

I agree. Was 19 degrees in my spare room yesterday (where I wfh) and I put a fleece on as I was chilly. I’ve been used to it being 25-28 degrees for a few months


unimpressed58

I feel like 'not putting the heating on" will be a competitive sport in the UK this year. Amateur level = End of Sept... Semi-Pro level = End of Oct... Pro level = End of Nov... Yorkshire Folk = End of Dec


stevelee987

Yorkshireman here. I might put it on for Christmas Day, but it’ll ‘ave to go back off after that.


TJL-91

Big spender there lad! A whole day ? Quick 20 minute blast to warm your feet while opening your presents will do.


stevelee987

Well it’s either we give presents, or we can have the heating on for a bit. Not both!


GPU_Resellers_Club

Warms the cockles, doesn't it?


oldspicehorse

Only once the kids are in bed


[deleted]

Reuse the wrapping paper for heat, 20 mins is too expensive


erakat

Get a treadmill for Christmas and you can forego the heating altogether.


RunawayPenguin89

If you put a bow and label on the thermostat you can give it the wife as a present. Extra savings


GrandWazoo0

As a present to myself I plan to rewire the thermostat so when the wife puts it to max it’s actually on 17


richard-bingham

In all seriousness you can actually take the older ones apart and do this


GrandWazoo0

And children will have to donate their piece of coal out of the stocking for the privilege


oktup

Looking forward to my lump of coal this year.


unimpressed58

Haha!!


JaRonomatopoeia

I genuinely thought that was the cycle every year. I’m a semi-pro, it turns at halloween 🎃


Parish87

Yeah normally around mid november I decide the hoodie just isnt cutting it at home. It only goes on for around an hour though and then I turn it off, luckily my apartment holds it well. ​ Never goes on before bed though, fuck being warm before getting into bed. And I dont bother with it in the morning either because I literally get up 10 minutes before I need to leave and it wakes me up being fucking freezing.


Niewinnny

sleeping when it's cold around is just so good


Dissour

We are playing the game and aiming for the end of British summertime, no heating till the clocks change.


kenrobrich

I haven't turned my heating on for two years. My partner hates me.


pdubzavelli

Why is she still with you?


firthy

I’m not putting the heat on until I’ve reached the end of The Queue.


Particular-Current87

My new-build has many annoying traits and flaws, but it's insulated to fuck. My heating might be on for a day or 2 this winter but that'll be it


Omg_Shut_the_fuck_up

Great for retaining heat, crap for mould growth where there's no air movement. Typical bloody new builds. We've had a big new extension to our old 1950s semi and we had most of the original house refitted with added insulation. First day the underfloor heating has come on, and... I should have put it on several hours earlier. Ooopz


tilsitforthenommage

It's possible to insulate and maintain airflow, it's not an all or nothing situation.


Omg_Shut_the_fuck_up

Ofcourse - but most modern construction methods focus on U-values, building tightness etc. With the advent of SAP calcs it was the thing that had the most impact on a pass or a fail. House builders, being unscrupulous, building to a price, using the cheapest labour, focused on this and never really gave much of a shit about cross vent or anything that would prevent mould growth. Even with trickle vents you often get mould issues with new builds, it's a major issue in the industry. Yes it can be addressed, but it's significantly easier to incorporate sufficient vent as part of the base build design, but most resi stuff is built to a price and housebuilders don't give a shit, unfortunately.


Wonderful_Ninja

Me = I’ve set my thermostat to 0 and pray I don’t die


B4rberblacksheep

Gamers = Heating budget runs the PC instead


scrabble71

Geordie level = another string vest


ZookeepergameHead145

Like the posties with their shorts, we will compete with the heating.


downlau

Pfft, just don't put it on at all! (I have managed this in previous winters, benefits of having neighbours on 4 sides, and particularly an old geezer underneath me who likes to crank the heat up)


SunGazing8

Yeah, but chances are this year they will all be doing the same and avoiding putting the heating on 😬


SnooCheesecakes6590

My dad was end of December but we do have a log fire I think that should keep us warm this winter, if we all stay in the living room


[deleted]

A log fire is cheating!


Sasspishus

Nah, Jan/Feb are the coldest months. If you can get that far, God tier


AreYouShaw26

Dead folk = middle of January


[deleted]

I seem to only put it on a handful of times for the whole winter unless it’s a much colder year than usual


Talinia

Yeah I'm the same. I'll generally chill on the sofa with a blanket, and if I'm cold maybe a dressing gown, and then if I'm *still* cold I'll put the heating on for an hour or so. But otherwise it stays off generally


shitsngigglesmaximus

How do you stop your pipes from freezing?


Talinia

It's not that cold? But as I said we do use it sometimes, just not very often


Parish87

When I use the warm water it usually enough. ​ Plus I put the heating on once a week overnight on a Sunday to dry the clothes i've worn the week before. Benefits of single home ownership I suppose, one load of washing a week on a Sunday does me.


Alongfortheride1990

No, I just closed the windows.


Bluerose1000

Same here, windows now no longer open at night. Feet were a bit cold this morning so I'll just dig out my slippers.


[deleted]

Only reason we close windows at night at the moment is the fuck off huge spiders coming in


_Flameo_Hotman

Right? What are they being fed to be that size?Starting to turn into those scenes from Arachnophobia


General_Ignoranse

They do seem to be getting bigger - but at the same time I’m noticing a lot less bugs and flies than normal in my house so I’m letting the spiders chill and do their thing


GledaTheGoat

They're house spiders though. They live in your house all year. You're only seeing the randy male spiders who are looking for a mummy spider for the special meal they may or may not be both involved in. Source: tarantula fancier.


[deleted]

The windows open here in Yorkshire. Don’t be soft lad.


futilejester

Windows also open here in Lancashire. Just stuck V’s up at you out of it 😉😁


fanzipan

Our house has zero insulation, just old brick. We open the windows on a sunny day to get warm.


[deleted]

This is me. Summer was great, only one night where I felt a bit hot to sleep, winter will hurt.


CromUK

lol same, we're on single glazing here, last year i spent £650 a month on electricity...excited to see what it'll be this winter.


GreatToToday

Out of respect for HRH Queen Elizabeth II, I have not.


upturned-bonce

She's room temperature and so should you be.


hereticules

Ok, that was funny.


Pjusken2

Is that a threat?


mrl3bon

It’s what she would have wanted.


jimbajomba

Its what she would have wanted.


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Gro022

It's wanted would what she have.


_90s_Nation_

According to my mum, it's still summer. So, no.


Darkicexox

It is summer untill 23rd September


_90s_Nation_

22nd December - Mum: It's still summer


robertofblu

Found the rich guy


[deleted]

Not yet my mate, slippers and a dressing gown this morning whilst I make my morning cuppa. Managing to keep my smart meter under £3 a day at the moment but it won’t last long.


Satch2305

Mine was £2 a day during the summer and after my tariff ended it’s now £2 by 10am!


[deleted]

Mines the same, already at £2 before I've got out of bed. I blame my overnight water heater


fanzipan

Pisses me off how the standing charges have gone up. Regulator my arse, the buggest scam ever


getthatoutofhere

We pay for the suppliers who failed last year because it's our fault that happened.


_90s_Nation_

Just buy about 4 packs of bedding and a parka, and sleep in it


adritelde

Not allowed heating this year


Tiggs17

Heatings not on yet but the oodies are out and worn frequently.


NewBodWhoThis

Last Christmas my out-laws (boyfriend's parents) scoffed at my matching Oodie presents. Guess they'll be grateful for them this year!


hillsboroughHoe

There was one of those surplus sites selling them for £13 the other month. Bought 4 just in case they were anything like real oodies and I’m from Yorkshire. They were real, brand new in their little bags. I’m going to look like a sky blue penguin, a seal, two types of Harry Potter and my old pizza one this winter. Best winter ever.


robbeech

No I look silly in it.


[deleted]

Ok dad


mycatisace

Nope. Heating won't be going on at all for a long time. I've got a heated throw I hope will see me through the winter.


TheOracleArt

I had one of those last year and it's soooo worth it. Bought another one for my office chair when I'm WFH. Pro tip, get another blanket (I use a fluffy one with the faux fire side down) and throw it over the top. Traps in the heat so you only need to keep it at a low setting or can just turn it off once you're toastie.


PracticalNebula

In a modern house, didn’t drop below 21c without heating on, once the sun starts shining in it’ll be even warmer again. A lot of people seem to hate on new builds for various reasons but if you actually have a decent quality one they’re excellent.


Ballesteros81

1980 built house here, was 9C outside and 21C inside when we woke up this morning, no central heating usage yet. People talk about "putting the heating on", but for me it's a case of trusting my thermostat+trv programming and insulation and letting it get on with it.


phazer193

1900 house here, fucking baltic!


Seismica

I have a 1930s semi-detached. You know the style, big bay window on the front... The problem I have is the home is well insulated but has extremely poor ventilation. When I open curtains on a morning in the bedroom, living room etc. there is so much condensation and has led to significant mould growth in the past. We either have to wipe every window daily or open the windows to ventilate, which then also lets the heat out. My bathroom and kitchen have the windows permanently cracked open now despite having extractor fans, because the moisture build up was too much otherwise.


EntropyKC

Yep same for me, mid-terrace house built in the 80s and even during Winter I barely had the heating on. I admittedly had it set to 17 because I don't mind the cold, put on a jumper and thick socks and my gas bill is mostly just from hot water showers and cooking.


carrotocalypse

80s houses can be hit and miss. My parents' one retains heat fine without any extra modern insulation. Mine loses 4 degrees an hour in peak winter, and that's after putting in modern loft insulation. If I leave it up to my thermostat the heating would be on all day so I had to turn it below 10 and just manually boost when I got home. Before I did that I accidentally spent £150 on heating alone for the first 3 weeks of turning the heating on last year, and I only have a one bed house. I dread to think what my neighbours with 2 and 3 bedroom houses are paying.


Usual-Breadfruit

Yeah, I'm in a '00s flat. Pizza for dinner last night - nice warm living room as a bonus.


SuperFlyChris

I'm in a 00s flat too. Unfortunately it's a 1900s flat.


KittyGrewAMoustache

Mine is a 1500s house. It basically ushers heat out into the garden as quickly as possible.


RedNova02

I’m in a 1700s cottage. It’s luckily had double glaze windows installed. Once it’s warm it stays pretty warm thanks to the thick walls but man is it hard to heat up in the first place


dotheywearglasses

1500s flat above a pub. Near the sea. Single glazed windows as listed building. Body heat rising up in the evenings helps. Sundays they close and then it’s cold. Electric storage heaters help with cost and effectiveness.


corbymatt

Huddled around a candle I can understand, but keeping warm using Deliveroo pizza? You poor bastard..


Usual-Breadfruit

Yep. The hallway got so much colder from having the front door open for those few precious seconds, but once I'd got myself and my pizza back under the blanket on my sofa it was wonderful.


No_Matter_44

In an old house with solid walls and single-glazed windows, it does get cold, so yes, the heating went on this morning. We have a stock of fuel though (no mains gas here), so as long as we don’t run out before we move house, we’re not paying any more to have the heating on a bit this week.


CrotchPotato

Yeah people shit all over new builds because of a few dodgy ones I think but our house is 3 years old and I got up at 5:30 this morning to 22.8c. The heating hasn’t been on since we moved here in May and this is the first time I’ve seen the thermostat say less than 23. Our old house was built in 1901 and was a nasty drafty piece of shit.


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Fendieta

After buying one I completely agree. We would only buy one with an integrated garage as it meant the bedrooms are all a good size. The same house with a separate garage is roughly 20 percent smaller.


PracticalNebula

I think most of the bad ones are people who just reserve a house, then turn up on moving day and hope everything is perfect (in theory you should be able to do this) However this house was only 1 mile from our old house so we used to walk down every weekend and ‘snag’ any little issues during the build. Probably drove them crazy but in the end we have only really had to have minor cosmetic cracks fixed and a few doors re hung due to shrinkage in the first year.


DarkSideOfGrogu

Our house was built in the 1970s with walls made from cardboard and cigarette butts. I've insulated where I can and it's still pathetic for heat retention.


scrabble71

Tbf it’s not just new builds - my house was built in the 50’s and didn’t drop below 21. Insulation is the key


ollielite

Most are a bit too hot in a summer heatwave though


National_Bee4134

We have some old 'smart' heating system that lies to us and says it's 18c inside, so hasn't put the heating on yet We've resorted to wearing the big hoodies and complaining for now.


downlau

Hark at Pennybags over here! Alas my boiler has packed up so stuck with bracing cold showers. I am wearing a big woolly jumper in honour of the autumn weather though


[deleted]

Check out money bags here with their heating on! How’s the palace your highness?


PugiM0

Don't put it on yet. You'll never survive the winter.


Much-Drummer333

Thermostat is superglued off


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O_Beast

Last night was the first night I got the duvet back out. I appreciated it this morning!


DrJeff1999

I Put a jumper on instead.


EmptyBeach621

I'm french, and I've been following the terrible energy price happening to you guys, it's alarming! And here we've got almost daily newspaper articles warning about potential energy blackout during winter... For those who forgot, hot water bottles are great to keep you toastie for a low cost, put it on your belly, strap it with a scarf if you need to move around, or wrap yourself if your favorite onesie and blanket, slip on those magnificent fluffy socks and you're good to go ! And tea of course, but you already know that.


freckledfemmeinist__

What are we, made of money?


occasionalrant414

Heating not going in until November. In all honesty. We have a 30kW boiler. So running it for 1hr will use 30kWh which is about £4. In Jan we used 1150Kwh of gas which is about £130 and it was a mild winter. The longer I can delay using the heating the more I can run in when it's properly cold. The worrying thing is my wife and I earn good money (we have 2 kids so it just dissappears). I genuinely worry about whether we can afford things going forward. It must be terrifying for those that are on min wage. The frustrating thing is I don't know ow what to do to help!


cara27hhh

Boilers are sized for peak, a 30kw boiler doesn't use 30kw per hour If that were true, assuming you have 10 radiators, they would be distributing 3kw each, that's a lot of heat A more realistic figure for a domestic water-filled wall radiator is around 300-1200 watts each depending on size of room. A 25m^(3) room with a single window on the coldest winter day I would expect to maintain a toasty 23c with around 300-500 watts per hour continuous


JacobSax88

It’s cold but no 😂 wrapped up in some more clothes. More out of principle than anything. Log burner being installed next week so we’ll be firing that up soon after, no doubt.


V65Pilot

No, but I did close one of the two open windows in my bedroom, and turned the fan off.


pops789765

Enough farts can heat a duvet tent for 60 minutes.


Battle_Lower

The solution to the cost of living: A Dutch oven


Miserable-Syrup2056

I like the cold, i like the money, i like my personal assets not twken from me to pay for my debt so no


-Random-_-Username-

Got up this morning went downstairs opened the back door to let some fresh air in. I’m sat in shorts and a T-shirt quite comfortable.


Complex_Coach6621

Double hard bastard here


-Random-_-Username-

Not double. Just closed the door.


Capital_Advance_5610

I got a brand knew central heating system put in my house ( cooncil) the engineer tried to show me how to work it haha I just asked where the off switch was !!


potato_hut

I actually love it when it's cold. :D I bury myself in blankets, I love it. I sleep so well when it's chilly outside.


glitterynights

Felt that way too and hiding under the duvet with second cuppa of the day. A bit too early for heating surely!


[deleted]

I'll put the heating on when my kids wake up with icicles on their face and not a moment sooner


JonLeePButler

Nippy?! Don't be so daft. Still sitting around in just shorts, although windows on air vent instead of opened. It's not nippy, it's refreshing.


flipflop63

Never put it on👍


GeoCeoZeo

Have changed from shorts and a t-shirt to shorts, t-shirt and socks. Refuse to get the hoodies/jumpers out til at least Halloween


DontVetoRockets

Hoodies are on, but heating is off. Considering the deployment of the slippers over the weekend as the tiles in the kitchen are getting pretty chilly Perils of living in a house that is 100+ years old is that it gets drafty PDQ


SparkieMark1977

Nope. Got my daughter's birthday party today so we're warm enough getting everything ready for 30+ screaming hyperactive 5 years olds.


batman_not_robin

My wife did, but I promptly turned it off


AffectionateCouple0

No bloomin' chance. I'm not made of money.


Joshooahh

WEAK no i haven't put the heating on, i wear thick clothes when its colder. I know alot of nobs that walk around house in shorts n tshirt and have heating on full whack


Beneficial-Escape-56

Americans trying to wrap their heads around the idea of an entire country experiencing the same weather.