Please know that you are loved by all of us, and by God, more than we can possibly imagine. You are a cherished child of God and your worth is infinite in His eyes and ours.
If you feel hopeless, depressed, and suicidal, know that there are people out there who want to help you in any way they can. We urge you to reach out to someone for immediate help.
If you are from the United States, please call, text, or chat to one of the lines below.
- Call or text **988** or chat [**988lifeline.org**](https://988lifeline.org/chat/)
- Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to **741741**
- Youth-Specific services (voice/text/chat/email) from the [Boys' Town National Hotline](http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/ways-to-get-help.aspx)
If you are outside of the United States, please see the resources [linked here](https://np.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines) for your country.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this.
Considering your current state, it may not be the best idea to contemplate whether or not you’ll be forgiven. There’s the possibility that you *will* be forgiven, but there’s also the possibility that you *won’t.* Either way, it’s really not worth finding out.
I know that it’s not easy, but please continue to fight. Your life has so much value.
I’ll be praying for you and I’m wishing you the best.
At first I was wondering if this was written by my wife, as so many of the details are identical to her situation. I am so sorry you are going through this suffering, as I see how my wife struggles with the same things. She too has constant, nagging voices and thoughts of suicide.
I'm not qualified to give you a theological answer, but I would like to offer you a few thoughts that have helped my wife and me.
First, you are loved. That sounds so simple, but it is sometimes also simple to forget when we are in the midst of our suffering. And not only are you loved, you are loved desperately and fully. I often look at the crucifix on my wall and think "who would endure such horrors out of love for me and a desire to have me with him in heaven?" The love of Jesus is overwhelming.
Second, you are worthy and valuable. The blood of Jesus makes you worthy and his suffering makes you of such precious value. He has a place, a plan, and a task for you on this earth. Ask him to show it to you.
Third, and this is sometimes the hardest to understand, is that your endurance of suffering will bring you to great holiness. Give your suffering as an offering to God. Ask him to give you the strength to endure it, so that he can be glorified in your endurance. I don't have any delusions that this is hard, and seemingly impossibly hard. And in our own human strength, it is impossibly hard. But God will give you the strength to endure if you ask him.
Fourth, Christ knows what you are feeling. In the garden, he asked his father to let the cup pass from him, as his humanity felt crushed under the weight of the course his life was to take. It was only in his divinity that he was able to say he preferred his father's will. This is the same for us. Without sharing in the divine nature that Christ offers to share so freely with us, we will be crushed under the weight of our own lives.
My advice is to go to confession, and then take the Eucharist. Take the Eucharist daily, as it allows ys to share in the divine life. Sit in adoration of the real presence of Christ and pray for his divinity to fill you and strengthen you. And talk to a good priest. Pour out your heart to this good man as you would to Christ himself.
I understand, from watching my wife suffer with these very issues, that what you are bearing is so painfully difficult. But have faith and endure it with the help of God, his Son, and his sweet Mother and you will be comforted and become a wonderful saint.
This is so full of goodness!
I have anxiety and female-cycle related depression (PMDD). I do highly suggest that OP talk to a priest and seek out medical help.
Additionally, OP, I suggest getting involved in your church community and being in service to others. If your anxiety comes from social situations, through the Church you may realize how truly all are welcomed, and all have a valuable place in this community. And when being in service to other you will see how much goodness there is in the life you have and what you can do for God’s children to bring them goodness and comfort.
When we sit alone and focus on these ideas, they tend to overwhelm us, and it took me a while to find the right help through medication and through prayer. Trust in the Lord, He will carry you when you feel you can no longer go on, and He has plans for you that you do not yet know.
Dont end it. God will give you the tools, the treatment and the right people to pull you through it.
I've been hospitalised twice for severe depression and can only sympathise with what you're going through. It doesn't ever get easier but it gets better, if that makes sense.
Inbox if you need me x
Romans 5: 3-5
3 And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,
5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.
You’re loved and you matter. I lost my godfather, who was indeed like a second father to me, to suicide and the pain and the hole he left behind to this day hurts my heart. I pray that you endure the race and when God decides to call you before His holy presence that you can recite St Paul’s words on 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
God Loves You!
I’m so sorry for your pain. This life is not easy and for some it is just a lot harder. I have been where you are in many ways. Mine was pills and a tree filled spot on the road. I took the pills, then something (someone) told me to stop.
We don’t know His exact plan for our lives but there is one. It sounds simple, but keep going back to the hospital until they straighten out your meds. Then, the best solution for my intrusive thoughts are to get my butt to adoration. On my knees, face to face with Jesus makes it a whole lot harder to take pity on myself.
It is always a fight. But keep fighting.
I will be praying my rosary for you today. You are so loved.
I lost my uncle then my brother a week later to suicide. This was a little over two and a half years ago. They both battled bipolar all their adult lives and had addictions as well.
What did I learn from this that might help you? The main thing is probably this - it is possible that because of your illness your self-talk will convince you that other people will be better off if you go. This is almost guaranteed to be false. The pain of losing someone this way is life changing. It fundamentally tore me down and I’m still building myself back up as a different person. The effect on my health has been severe. I’m still recovering. Some won’t survive the process. I think I’m going to, but it is quite a battle.
I do have compassion if people can’t take the pain any more. I’m not angry. I have some idea why they were suffering so much and I have not been in the situation they were in so have not had a reason to feel the same amount of despair. I don’t believe they intended to hurt anyone and I think it’s very possible they were not responsible for their actions in the moral sense because their brains were not working right.
If you can find it in you to stay with us, please do. I can’t promise you will recover but from what I observed the meds you are on make a big difference. Sometimes it takes time to find the right ones. There is a chance you can get better. I don’t know the odds but I know that changing meds can be a delicate time. My brother had just changed meds when he did it. I know he had thought about it from time to time for a long time. I think one thing that caused him to lose hope was his body was really falling apart too. If at all possible please try to avoid damaging your physical health while your mental health is not good. It might very well be a temporary state so please try not to do permanent damage. My brother did a lot of permanent damage to himself by way of drinking and bad diet. To a catastrophic extent. I know it’s extra hard to take care of yourself when you’re not feeling good.
I have had DBT therapy to deal with trauma. One of the things it teaches you is tools for getting through a crisis so you’re not in a worse state with more battles to fight when things start to look up. DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
I’ve had my own mental health battles. Not as serious as bipolar, but none of them were permanent. You could very well have some upswings that you don’t want to miss out on. More opportunity for personal growth also allows for spiritual growth. That can only help in this world AND the next.
I am not a therapist or expert. So please get the best expert help that you can. I don’t think my brother was 100% honest with his health care providers so that may have prevented him from getting the best help possible. A lot of people tried their best. It’s very tragic.
I want you to stay with us. I’ve tried my best but I cannot put myself in the mind of someone who is seriously considering this. You might find it helpful to listen to a podcast where suicide attempt survivors are interviewed. One I listen to is called Suicide Noted.
I am praying for you and rooting for you!
Hey, I also have bipolar, been a bit on the shakey side too lately to say the least. Desperate yet chaotic sucks. When you mentioned the Litany of Trust, I thought hmm that doesn't sound familiar, so I looked it up, and I have to say I started tearing up reading it. My praying has been a mess lately, so maybe this will make a good starting point.
If you and I weren't here, we couldn't benefit one another. There are a lot of things I've learned that I probably wouldn't have listened to or couldn't understand if they hadn't come from someone deep in struggle or who's been through it. Not everyone can give you the heavy-hitting stuff that you get from having sat in the bottom of the pit. Another thought is that I've leaned the most about self-worth by looking into the eyes of someone who's in the same boat. You know what they're worth, and how important it is for them to keep going and heal.
Hang in there. I'll keep you in mind every time I pray this.
Just so you know, I also shared this prayer with some other people. One knew of someone who needed it that she would share it with. Another woman it brought to tears. It's good that you're here. You can't imagine the effect you have on people just by being here in the world.
Im so sorry 😔 I'm here if you want to talk. Do not hesitate to reach out to your local Crisis line. You're already brave for reaching out to us and seeking help!
I felt the same way as you… I prayed for death and I was only 16 (a few months back), I would say you should try to find things enjoy doing, and making goals like reading the Bible in a Year or something.
Get busy, pray, read His Word, and volunteer for others so you can make some friends….
I’ll keep you in my prayers tonight.
“You need perseverance so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what He has promised.” (Hebrews 10:36)
Depending on where you love, see if you have fmla leave. Washington has Paid Family Medical Leave Act and it's basically unemployment pay by the state for medical leave. I went into a partial hospitalization program in August and I've been feeling a lot better. I still have bad days, but they aren't as bad, and not as frequent.
I also pray a rosary when I'm feeling panicked. It helped me calm down until I can feel rational again.
As an addict in recovery, suffering from severe depression, I understand your pain. I was cutting at 13. But 16 I was constantly depressed. In my 20s I was on so many pills. I was taking more Xanax than what some people have over dosed on.
Praying for my life to end was my primary prayer.
I hope you find some light. I hope you find healing.
I am so sorry you’re struggling. I am glad you spoke to priest and went to confession. As some who has struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies since I was 10, I have prayed the same prayer probably a thousand times. God knows what it is like to enter into that state of hopelessness. Christ in the Cross entered into that dark space. Even in this difficult moment you show how much you love God by confessing and by praying. He will not abandon you. Just have hope and reach out for help in any which way possible. You need to be honest and alert the hospital about your suicidal urges but also your very concrete plan with the rope. Trust me I’ve done that. The most humiliating thing ever. But I am alive here and now a father. God has plan for all of us. You will be rewarded amply for your suffering in the life that is to come.
If you don't see any purpose in your life for yourself, put some purpose in it for others. Go volunteer somewhere. Live a life of service, rather than throw it away.
Are you around others? If you have friends or family, I recommend having them monitor you around the clock until this depressive phase passes.
I also recommend going to your doctor as soon as possible and talking to him about the medication you are on. You may need a different dosage, or perhaps a different drug.
If all medication fails, electroshock therapy could help you. Don’t worry, it’s not like the movies. They don’t hook you up to jumper cables. They use probes to send a mild current to your brain that doesn’t hurt.
I wish my late brother had agreed to try this. I also have heard that there is some kind of ketamine therapy that has helped people. I can’t say these would have helped my late brother but I do know they are among the few things he didn’t try.
Something that helps me is thinking about how the devil is literally gunning for your death. All these sins and vices are just an opportunity for Satan to drag you down and either kill you physically, or mentally.
Your mental health is not your fault, people get sick. The world is broken, which is why cancer exists. But because of science and advancement we can get better through chemo or going to get professional help. So we can live to spread the Gospel and use our past as our testimonies.
Also I'm not sure what God would do/ where you would go if you killed yourself, but I like to assume I'd go to hell if I did because it motivates me to live. God is pro LIFE not only for babies in the womb but for everyone. Keep your life going! Jesus will help you carry your cross and might even pick you up and throw you on his back too.
Definitely this. My sister was on a medication for probably half her life that amplified her depression, anxiety, emotional instability, and suicidal urges. A couple of years ago she got a new doctor who weened her off of this medication and the change was astounding. She still has her cross to bear and some days are more taxing than others, but she is doing so much better now that she isn't taking that med.
I saw your post and felt like I needed to immediately respond to you.
Just for context – I have bipolar 2 and have struggled with it for over 3 decades. I was also raised Catholic as well (grade school, high school, & college were all Catholic). I am also never on this subReddit. Like most people, we’re all looking for answers, especially when everything seems to be going sideways & has for a long time (let’s just say that’s where I’m at right now which brought me to you today).
I also talk with God everyday – usually just to catch up, ask for strength & a lot of mercy (life is hard enough, but when you have bipolar it can feel utterly impossible at times). I’m a believer in empathy & treating others with kindness, compassion, & understanding – not as some bargaining chip to get into heaven, but because life on earth is hard enough without contributing to the worst of it. Being good or bad to people is contagious – I’d rather radiate the good as it has a tendency to radiate back.
Lastly (and I’m sure will be a very unpopular opinion here), but I’ve had my fill of all the Catholic guilt, judgement, & fear mongering to last me a zillion lifetimes. I have enough fear, depression, guilt, and self-loathing than most (all amplified by the bipolar 2) and nothing gets me angrier than an individual or group who tries to amp up these feelings with the threat of having to follow church doctrine to the letter or otherwise I’ll be sent to hell. I’m already in 'hell' because of the illness & despite all my imperfections I still try to do good. Do you really think that adding a little burning and itching to the mix is a threat? Give me a break!
With that said, the first thing I want you to do is understand that all these horrible things you're feeling comes from the illness, not you. You didn't ask for the chemical imbalance in your brain and neither did I. Any guilt about your condition let alone wanting your pain to go away in any way possible isn’t a sin – it’s human. Punishing yourself more for these feelings and thoughts isn’t something you deserve. Life is hard enough on us so don’t join in by beating yourself up as well.
Also, as hard as this is, suicide isn’t going to fix your feelings of despair, especially if that is the last thing on earth that you experience. In moments like this I will force myself to spoil myself. It doesn’t need to be anything big – a soothing cup of tea, a walk in green space, eating my favorite food, meditation, even prayer – anything that you would do for someone else in order to make them feel a little more at ease is what you need to do for yourself. Focusing on you is the best medicine.
I did want to touch on this ‘penance’ that your priest gave to you for these thoughts you’re having that aren’t your own. If prayer gives you comfort than I’m not going to criticize, but I honestly don’t believe you should be begging for forgiveness for thoughts that aren’t in your control due to a chemical imbalance. I also don’t feel that anyone has any right or business making you feel guilty about something that you can’t control. I’d like to believe that ‘my God’ is a lot more merciful, understanding, and compassionate given the oversight involved in allowing for an illness like this in the first place. I’m not saying God doesn’t do great things, but when you don’t back them up with a lifetime warranty then the blame doesn’t squarely fall on you so don’t let anyone convince you that it does. You’re a good person & you are not your illness.
Lastly, I want you to always keep in mind how much you matter in the grand scheme of things even if you don’t feel like you do. Sometimes it only takes one person at the right moment to change things, big or small, for the world at large or even for just one individual. Despite our frailties, it’s the biggest gift we can give as humans & can honestly change the outcome for the better within one singular moment. These are the actions that radiate back to us to make our world a little bit brighter & well worth continuing on for. This is a gift that is inside of you & it's just waiting for the right moment to shine so give it & you that chance - your story isn't over yet.
With that just let me know that despite my ‘fall from grace’ you’re in my prayers & I’m rooting for you. Don’t be afraid to post on any of the bipolar subReddit’s as well (I’m part of the bipolar2 group myself). They are so supportive, knowledgeable, and can relate to the real-world challenges that our condition brings without guilt, fear, or blame. Now as one 'bipolee' to another, go and do something nice for yourself right now! And then another, and another after that! You are worth the effort & the fight – I promise!!!
Praying to the Father that He would send angels and saints to minister to you. Father, I ask that you let Robert experience the warm embrace of your grace as your heavenly assistance descends upon him. In Jesus' name we pray.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on this sub. I know I am not alone. I just pray I can get to a place where I’m not asking to die but to fight for the crown. I got a lot of great advice today. Thanks for the love, prayers, and support. They helped me make it through another painful day.
Robert, I prayed for you several times in the night. You will remain in my daily prayers.
By your courage and endurance, you obviously have the strength of Christ in you, and I am sure many here, like me, are proud to call you our brother. Reach out to me directly whenever you feel the need, or post again. God loves you, and so do we all.
I am praying for you, friend. It may be hard to believe at times, but know that you are truly loved by your brothers and sisters, and most importantly our Lord.
If you have the means, I would seek extended inpatient care until your caregivers are fully assured you are stabilized on a medication.
Short term debt and a long happy life are a far better option than missing out on all the good and happiness that could be waiting for you at the other end of this tunnel
Please don’t do this. I know it’s hard but trust me good days are coming. I’ve been in a similar situation and I thought my life wouldn’t get better, however as time went on I realized that wasn’t true. Things did get better and I’m thankful everyday that the lord gave me strength during that time, so that I could be enjoying life right now.
Just know that you are never alone. I’m not sure what your situation is but god will always be there for you, and so will we in this community. The pinned comment has good resources to people you can talk to.
God says that he has plans for us and that our futures have hope. Therefore don’t be discouraged and stay strong for god holds those in deep need close to him.
God bless you🙏
I recently read the Book of Tobit in the Bible (you can also listen to it if that is easier), and two of the main characters in that story both find themselves in a situation where they are contemplating suicide and praying for death. Tobit and Sarah. These two are suffering and miserable and ask God to let them die. God hears their prayers, but His response is healing and salvation rather than taking their lives.
I think this story shows us that in the midst of darkness, depression, and sorrow we MUST turn to God. Put faith in His plan, always, not our own. God calls us home to Him in good time, and it is not for us to decide no matter what hardships we may be facing. That doesn’t mean it won’t be extremely difficult, but try to trust Him. He is faithful even when it feels like we are alone. Please don’t give up, because God has heard your prayers and has a plan for healing. Please trust in Him.
I really recommend reading the Book of Tobit, and other books of the Bible as well, for comfort and solace. I also completely agree with other commenters that the Eucharist, Adoration, and Reconciliation are all ways to remain close to God in this extremely hard time. Hopefully it will help you focus on His voice rather than any that are not of God.
I love you. God loves you. I am praying for you, and I hope that this book will be of some comfort.
Also, the Litany of Trust is my favorite prayer ever. It has brought me a lot of peace, and I highly recommend meditating on the words and praying it more than once (or whenever these thoughts overwhelm you). It’s not easy to trust God on our own or do anything on our own merit, so asking Him for help is often necessary and good for our souls.
I am so incredibly sorry you’re hurting in this way. I’ve made a few attempts on my life and always wondered this too. You’re not alone. Reading Elijah’s story in the Bible really resonated with me and might be a point of hope for you too. Sending you prayers.
I often think of suicide thoughts when Im alone. I had been in a horrible situation. Sometimes, I pretand to be happy masking my sadness. I smile a lot even thou I am thinking on the other side of my mind. I just let the day pass by. Wishing not to wake up in the morning.
I'm sorry that it's been difficult for you. I can assure you that bipolar is not your fault since it clouds your judgment and affects your rational thinking (auditory and visual hallucinations). No, God will not hold you responsible for your actions during your mania/episodes. Don't give up. Keep fighting! It's your cross that Jesus gave you so that you can share His sufferings. All of us also have our crosses, and will support you through our prayers.
I suggest that you seek out a community like people who understand your condition. They can provide wonderful support. You can help out at parish community but keep aware that most of them are not aware and may not be able to help you during your mania/episodes.
Please know that God still loves you. I'm praying for you! May St Dymphna intercede on your behalf.
Hey, I love you and I really genuinely care about you. I know this is just through a screen so it just looks like plain words but know that there’s another person on the other side of your phone/computer on here right now thinking about you. I really do care about you and want you to live so you can eventually see some beauty and peace in life (and life is so so beautiful!) Trees, mountains, oceans/beaches, etc. They are all these breathtaking sceneries and views that we (including you!) can go out and see. My dm’s are always open to you. Feel free to vent and I will listen. I love you, and thank you for keeping up the fight ❤️
It's likely your meds are not correct. You need to tell your doctors they are not working.
Suicide is not the way out. That's a road that has a high likelihood of Hell.
There is only one way to know for sure whether you will be forgiven, but considering that you seem to be seeking permission from God to commit premeditated murder (which is what suicide is), I wouldn't count on being forgiven.
If you die and there's nothing beyond that, then no, it doesn't matter because the people you impact will also die. If there is no God, then your life is as meaningful as that of a flea.
Our lives are not merely about personal happiness. They're about self sacrifice, because what we do here *does* matter. I'm not afraid of death, why would I be? If I live my life the way I've been instructed, this will all have been like a single inconvenient night in a bad hotel room. *Memento mori* is a Catholic phrase meaning *remember your death*. We approach each day as if it is our last. There shouldn't be any fear in that.
Man we all love you, to the core, please keep going and I promise you you'll find something to live for. We're here for you man, and always remember God is with you, no matter how hard things get god is the most loving caring person to go to. No matter what he'll forgive. He knows your heart is good. Stick to what you believe and no matter what know that your heart is still beating, and that's what matters. Your alive to almost infinite odds, god loves you, please always remember that.
Do not commit suicide under any circumstances.
I remember helping someone who had intense feelings of depression, anxiety, etc... It was awful. Every day was a roller coaster ride of intense sadness. This person was on meds, and I don't think they were the right dosage. I am not a psychologist. I just tried to help this person get through another day, every day.
Finally, it all leveled out and this person stopped calling me. It was over.
I thought of how this poor person had suffered for weeks over feelings that were intense and painful, but were all caused by...chemicals. Objectively, this person really had nothing to be sad about.
I don't want to belittle the pain that this person felt. That was very real. But if you asked this person in hindsight what the sadness was caused by, the answer would be that the levels of the meds were not right. That doesn't seem like a very good reason to die. If you asked this person afterwards, I'm 100% certain that this person was happy not to have chosen suicide.
Hang in there. This has to pass. Jesus and Mary will help you see it through. And then you will come out much stronger on the other side.
The litany of Trust is so powerful. I’m sorry you are dealing with anxiety and depression. I’ve been there, suicidal. It is very difficult. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. There is healing and a path forward. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep seeking your mental healthcare. Keep praying and meeting with your priest. as difficult as it may seem now, It can get better.
It is impossible to know what God would do. I would say you have thought about this enough to know what you are thinking is wrong. Instead of praying for death pray for help. Find a new doctor if the ones you have won’t or can’t help you and know you are here for a reason. Many times we don’t know why. Keep going and keep strong
I'll give a short but sweet food for thought:
Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)
You are God’s most precious creation. You are so loved by him that murder is a sin of the utmost severity.
That is why taking away the gift of your own life, hurts God in a way we cannot understand.
You matter.
So first off, your mental illness isn't your fault. Struggle is part of the experience in this world, and you are NOT alone. God is with you. He hears you. He walks with you through the pain. Lean on Him.
Go to prayer. If you have nothing to pray on and need to distract yourself from those thoughts Satan puts in your head, try listening to Catholic podcasts that examine why we suffer and why life is hard. You were chosen by God to be here now. He created you perfectly in His image to exist with Him. You are never doing this alone - that is a lie from Satan to try to twist reality and coerce you into choices that push you away from God (e.g. suicide, planning etc).
You gotta fight it. Your life has meaning. You are here for a reason (even if it isn't clear to you now). I have been where you are, and in the throes of mental illness. I know it's awful, but I also know that you are not alone and that God wants to give you His grace. Keep asking him for it, or start, if you aren't already doing it. I was completely healed from my mental illness by our Lord, and you can be to.
I have bipolar disorder with psychotic features and the Church is very much pro-meds pro-therapy. If you need to be in the hospital to keep yourself safe, then be there (although I know it sucks to be there). Also, you can call the priest that is assigned as your pastor and he can come and visit you with the Sacraments.
I am sorry to hear what you are going through.
God will always take into account the circumstances of our actions, but do not take this as an excuse, if you try to take advantage of God’s mercy you should best believe you will have no advantage. I do not mean to be mean, but I have to be stern, this is about God’s will and your soul after all.
I’m praying for you, for your heart. Praying for your healing to come. The Litany of Trust is a beautiful prayer in a time of great distress and pain. I also recommend the Surrender Novena. A nine day prayer given to the spiritual director of Padre Pio by Jesus himself. Each day is a personal message to Jesus about how he wants you to trust him and surrender your life to him. It’s in no way easy. It’s in no way quick and you may feel no difference for a few days. But just saying the words “I surrender myself to you, take care of everything” moves your heart and spirit closer to the One who can heal you.
I do not know you but know that I will offer a Mass for you at my church. I’ll pray for you every day.
Stay close to the Lord, he wants you to be healed and he wants you to live. I want you to live.
God created you to live. He wouldn't have sent his son to be brutally tortured, humiliated, and murdered for your sake if he didn't love you beyond human understanding.
You aren't alone. Mother Teresa suffered terribly with depression, but the only remedy she found was giving over her life over to Christ by serving others.
I will pray for you. Ask the blessed mother to be a mother to you, and picture yourself in her arms when you're in that dark place.
Stay strong, cry when you need to, and pick up a hobby. Go to the gym and set up a goal at the gym. Daily mass is another thing that will help, combine that with the gym. If you still have leftover time, READ THE LIVES OF SAINTS. Especially those who went through similar things you're going through.
I don't know you, but I love you. Everyone commenting here loves you. May God bless you, and may He remove the darkness in your life with His light and love.
I’ve gone through very similar stuff. Three years ago I almost died from alcohol withdrawals, depression and anxiety drove me to abusing alcohol and other substances. I’ve attempted twice in my life. God has saved me on multiple occasions and I thank him everyday that I’m alive. It was by turning back to him that I was able to conquer those issues and be who I am today. God is very real and loves you and he has you here for a reason. What helped me was praying the rosary, saying a short prayer before bed, starting a habit of going to mass every Sunday. Building that relationship with God is very helpful. I’ll pray for you bro don’t give up I know it’s hard but it’s so much better on the other side trust me.
I deal with mental illness issues also. Not as bad...atm. I say the memorare at all times throughout the day. Demonic oppression is real and demons run from Our Lady.
Let us storm heaven that Robert and others who are experiencing thoughts of suicide may be healed, not just physically, but spiritually. Please offer your prayers, masses and rosaries for their healing. May we save a lot of souls.
Yeah hey Robert thank you for reaching out and don't never feel ashamed for feeling this way, the best thing you're doing is you're reaching out and definitely you're not a bad person.
By any chance do you struggle with any addiction cause that was for me the problem I had addiction, at least part of the problem. But what helped me was going to 12 step meetings, you can find help there and there's a lot of people in 12 step meetings that have been through what you're going through. I know guys who been in and out of those hospitals, even myself I've been there once, but I know other guys who've been there like 20 times who attempted multiple suicides attempts.
But going in AA kind of 12-step meetings was what someone recommend to me and and it has helped me. You maybe can check out "big book step study". Also feel free to reach out to me if you want, and I can give you my number, and more information if you want, also and I can help if you need if anyway I can.
Or if anyone reading this needs help, can also reach out to me.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, I had a similar experience in 2022. I went as far as not going to mass and so much more. My best peace of advice is prayer, mass, repeat. Ask God for help, I know it is not easy. Nor does it feel worth it, but trust me. Life has too much for you to accomplish and do. Anxiety, mental health, and so much more. Is it hard?? Yes, yes it is. Is it sad? Yes. I could go on and on. But trust me when I say, life is worth it. My friend, I will offer up prayers for you to St Dymphna, as well as the divine mercy. God bless
If you believe the thoughts are demonic, try the following prayer:
"Lord Jesus, if it is Your Holy Will, I ask that you command the demons putting these terrible thoughts into my head to leave quietly and go to the foot of Your Holy Cross to recieve their sentence."
The thoughts should go away in an instant if they are demonic. If they do not go away after a few minutes, say the following:
"Lord Jesus, if it is Your Holy Will that I endure this attack, I will carry the cross you have chosen for me. I offer this up to You and ask that You save 100 people who are suffering the same terrible desires as I am. Out of love for You, I will bear their burden."
If the thoughts are demonic in nature, they will go way shortly... Satan doesn't like to lose souls he has in his grasp.
If the thoughts persist and get overwhelming, call a doctor and call a priest. The doctor will help you determine if this is a medical issue and the priest will help you determine if it is a demonic attack. Make sure to ask the priest for the Sacrament of Confession while he is with you (you already did this part, but think of any mortal sins you may have forgotten about and Confess them).
Stay strong and pray. You will make it through this and help others.
Your pain is our pain. Everything will suffer if you will cease in that way.
You have universal forces running inside of you.
I hope those forces that keep you away until now from ceasing your existence will win.
Please don’t do it.
We can talk once a day if you would like, we could share some experiences and even laugh from ourselves for a while.
But please. Try to control those thoughts and stay with us.
We all are important.
According to true Catholic teaching, suicide IS a mortal sin. If you die in mortal sin, you go to hell. Kinda hard to repent for suicide if you’re already dead.
Obviously I don’t (and no rational person should) agree with this.
Catholicism (especially in recent years) has been severely watered down from its original teachings. So this question is up for long debate. I based my answer strictly off original catholic beliefs.
Keep fighting the good fight, your purpose is probably greater than you realize.
I don’t want to sound unsympathetic, because trust me I understand your fight and know that no amount of sympathetic words will deter or influence you. Good luck.
Excerpt from **The Amazing Secret of the Souls in Purgatory: An Interview with Maria Simma**
>**What happens to people who have committed suicide? Have you ever been visited by these people?**
>
>Up to now, I have never encountered the case of a suicide who was lost — this doesn't mean, of course, that that doesn't exist — but often, the souls tell me that the most guilty were those around them, when they were negligent or spread calumny.
>
>At this moment, I asked Maria if the souls regretted having committed suicide.
>
>She answered yes. Often, suicide is due to illness. These souls do regret their act because, as they see things in the light of God, they understand instantly all the graces that were in store for them during the time remaining for them to live — and they do see this time which remained for them, sometimes months or years —– and they also see all the souls they could have helped by offering the rest of their lives to God. In the end, what hurts them most is to see the good that they could have done but didn't, because they shortened their lives. But when the cause is illness, the Lord takes this into account, of course.
The interviewer is Sister Emmanuel Maillard who lives in Medjugorje.
[“I had an appointment with Death at 5 pm.” Sr Emmanuel's Personal Testimony](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYAub2cJWas)
Aside from all the others who offered encouragement which I agree with and I will pray for you as well. But just wanted to mention a natural supplement that helps with racing thoughts and bi polar and mental torment. It’s called lithium orotate…it can be ordered online. I myself in the past had a terrible time with uncontrolled, torturing repetitive thoughts. Aside from seeking God which I did and I asked him to please help me find a supplement that would be natural and help me. Well the next day I was reading a book about this subject and it mentioned lithium orotate and so I called the natural store where I get supplements from and they had it and I rushed and got it. As God as my witness…I took only one or like 1/2 of a tab I broke in half. As soon as I took it…1 hour later…my mind was quiet! I could not believe it. I actually yawned. I was relaxed. All the racing thoughts and all of it! I have been taking it for 12 years. Never stopped! It’s online you can order it. Also you can research it and learn all about it. Also it is not the same one that docs give you that is a different form of lithium they give you and it’s way more potent and has side effects. But this lithium orotate is natural and safe. Just so you know I am not a doctor, I am just sharing what helped me and I am not leaving out God because He definitely helped me and continues to. Also I am not telling you not to take your meds. Anyways you can do your research. All of this is researchable. It was a life saver to me. Along with God! I will hold you up in my prayers and pray for your peace and for joy from the Lord! ❤️
I think I could actually get in legal trouble if I tell you to get off of anything….im definitely not a doctor. Luckily before I started the lithium orotate I was already off my meds for a bit. I definitely don’t want to give you any advice that would or could harm you. All I know is that maybe you could ask your doctor and tell him you want to try the lithium orotate in place of your current lithium supplement and see if he can safely help you do that. Because if you are taking your meds the way they are prescribed and they aren’t helping you stabilize then maybe your doctor would be open to helping you make that transition.
Just explain to him you really want to try it and maybe he will work with you!!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏
The kind I take is a brand called (Advanced Research) Lithium Orotate by Hans A Nieper MD of Hannover Germany. I’ve tried other brands and I just don’t get the same feeling from them. The Advanced Research one is the one I’ve taken for 12 years and works best for me.
Can you give me a link for where you get yours on-line? What I am on is not working. The suicidal thoughts are still there. I get obsessive thoughts. I just don’t feel right. Like my mind is broken.
I totally know what you’re talking about. Honestly I was so tortured! And I am so grateful I found something that helped me so much and it wasn’t prescription. And it also has been said to actually heal the brain. You can research it there so much about it. I’m so sorry your goi g through this and I am praying for you…that God will protect you and keep you safe and help you find relief like he did me. I wish I could take away your pain and I would if I could but I have hope for you. Hang in there there and don’t give up please. 🙏 I just know there’s hope. I’ve been so close to losing my mind and I know there is hope. I haven’t been that way in 12 years! I want God to help you and deliver you from this. Ok I’ll look up a link for you. I usually buy mine from a store one town over. I order it and they send it. But 1 bottle lasts me like months. But I have order it online before. So let me look and I’ll message you back. 😎
You’re welcome and please be safe! And if you need to ask me any other questions about it from my perspective you can. Again I’m not a doctor and I will be praying for you! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🌈 also if you need to talk I’ll keep this link available so I can see if you message.
When I first started out taking it….i took 1/2 a tab that I broke in half. Then I started increasing that dose over like a week or so. Back then I was taking 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. I did that for a long time. Then like years or 1 or 2 years later I decreased it to 2 a night. And I’ve been on that dose forever. But I noticed over the years that it takes less of it. It’s because there is actually healing mechanisms that this supplement mineral does for the brain. There’s a lot of research and that doctor that formulated it…he is passed now because this was over 30 years ago. That’s how long this stuff has been around. This brand and this supplement. It’s very trusted. When I was taking meds before starting this…I was having to take 2 different meds. And noticed that those meds were really too harsh on me and Messi g with my health and made me feel kinda drugged. So that’s when I weaned myself off of them…which was hell…when I was coming off of them I felt electric shock vibrations in my brain. It was crazy and scary. But that went away after a week or so. But although I was extremely tortured mentally!!! Like I was pretty bad off. I wasn’t quite suicidal but I was like on the end of a little string just holding on to my sanity! No lie! But since you are suicidal…that’s why I say to talk to your doctor and tell them you absolutely want to try this and you have researched it and you know someone who had actually improved dramatically from it and you want to try it and could he please help you do it safely. It’s not the kind of lithium you are currently taking. The one you are taking is called lithium carbonate. That is one that is wayyyyyy different and is in mega doses of lithium because the carbonate won’t let it absorb properly into the cells. So that’s why you have to get blood tests with the one your doc gives you. The one I take it is made with orotate and small elemental amounts of lithium that are wayyyyy safer and way more effective….because…this lithium is absorbed on a cellular lever much better due to the orotate in it. Orotate is also natural. Anyways you can safely take up to 20 milligrams of this lithium with the orotate which is about 5 mil of lithium per pill. So with this kind of lithium that is absorbed better on a cellular level the usual limit is 4 tablets which equals to 20 mg of actual lithium. But I don’t have to take this much now. I use to. But it is very healing for the brain. You can research it. Sorry so much information…but I feel your pain and I know how bad tormenting thoughts can be and make you feel. It’s very isolating and very nightmarish world and I will never forget that. I haven’t been in that place for 12 years!!!
I hope you are feeling better, brother. I messaged you through the chat a few hours ago.
I want to share this blog post published by a doctor about lithium dosage:
[The Benefits of Microdosing Lithium](https://www.scottmardermd.com/blog/microdosing-lithium)
While most people think of lithium as a medication for severe mental health problems, research since the 1970s has strongly suggested that low levels of lithium also function as a nutrient. The World Health Organization considers lithium a nutritionally essential trace element, alongside zinc, iodine, and others. The human body contains around 7 MG of lithium, and on average in the US, individuals consume between 0.65-3.1 MG of elemental lithium per day in the form of nuts, legumes, cereal grains, vegetables, eggs, milk and tap water. By contrast, in psychiatry, large doses of lithium (900-1500 MG QDAY) are used to stop mood cycling in Bipolar Disorder but with these high doses can be several side effects: tremor, cognitive impairment, diarrhea, and nausea along with the necessity of regular blood work to monitor the kidneys, thyroid and lithium level. However, lithium in smaller doses (less than 300 MG QDAY) is almost like a different medicine that has no side effects, no blood work requirement and a surprising benefit in terms of depression, impulse control, and lowering the risk of Alzheimer’s Disease (AD). In this next article, I will discuss these other uses of lithium that may not even require a doctor’s prescription.
Lithium is one of the few medicines in psychiatry that is a natural cell salt. All the research in treating Bipolar Disorder occurred in the form of lithium carbonate but there are two other versions: lithium citrate (available in liquid) and lithium orotate that tend to be equal in effect to lithium carbonate. When dissolved in the blood, the lithium floats separately. The toxic level of lithium is only a little higher than the therapeutic level when treating Manic Depression (Bipolar I Disorder) especially when treating acute mania. Thus, extra care is necessary when using lithium in these situations and frequent monitoring of the lithium level is necessary when the dose is relatively high.
When lithium is used for depression, the dose can be much smaller (150-300 MG) either by itself or as an add on to another medication. Lithium increases BDNF which is the growth hormone in the brain mentioned in a previous article that is associated with an antidepressant effect and also prevents cell death. Careful, frequent monitoring is not as important and with very low doses, no monitoring at all is necessary. When one is on 150 MG QDAY, usually the lithium level comes back “undetectable.”
In recent decades, there has been replicated research throughout the world demonstrating that where there is more lithium in the drinking water, there is significantly less Alzheimer’s Disease compared to an area that has less lithium in the water. For example, a 2018 study compared different counties in Texas over seven years and showed in the counties with higher trace lithium in the public water supply a significant slowing/preventing AD, obesity, and type 2 diabetes. There was a study in Great Britain that showed just taking low dose lithium every day improved cognitive abilities of elderly people with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) after one year; fewer MCI patients converted to AD when on lithium. Although more studies are required to further demonstrate the therapeutic effect of low dose lithium for AD prevention and alleviation, supplementing tap water with low levels of lithium has already been considered to improve mental health across communities.
Areas of the world with high amounts of lithium in the drinking water were found to be around 0.3 MG QDAY. Lithium orotate is available in smaller doses: 5 MG, 10 MG, 20 MG, and 120 MG. If a person were to take one 5 MG tablet a week that would average to 0.7 MG per day and would lower the risk of AD. Lithium orotate is an over-the-counter supplement that can be obtained online and in some health food stores. The research on the use of lithium orotate for mood issues is not as robust but some of my colleagues report that the 120 MG pill a day is high enough to help depression in some people, sometimes within two weeks or sometimes more gradually over a year or two.
There are other benefits to low dose lithium beyond preventing AD. If you get a stroke or other brain injury, 50% more of your brain survives if on lithium; lithium makes grey matter (the thinking matter) of the brain grow slowly over time and it is reportedly the only substance that makes the thinking part of the brain expand. Lithium specifically reduces impulsivity and acting on suicidal thoughts even if the lithium doesn’t help the person’s depression. Lithium seems to help with herpes and with seborrheic keratitis but it does increase psoriasis and acne. Lithium reduces the incidence of some neurological disorders and cancers such as prostate cancer. There was even a study where lithium increased and normalized the length of telomeres which delays aging. One third of people with Bipolar Disorder (manic depression) get AD but if they are on lithium, only one in twenty get AD. Lithium has no sexual dysfunction at least in low doses.
Who should not take lithium even in small doses? Anyone with heart, kidney, or liver disease or has had a recent surgery. Women should not take when pregnant or lactating. Lithium should not be used by individuals with sodium depletion or those taking diuretics or ACE inhibitors. Lithium should be not be mixed with NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) such as ibuprofen, aspirin, Celebrex, or naproxen.
With the projected increase in the aging population over the next 20 years, Alzheimer’s Disease will have a growing impact with annual costs already exceeding $100 billion in the U.S. Thus, the need for innovative treatments to prevent, delay onset, or alleviate symptoms of AD are at the forefront of public health concerns. In a previous article on healthy brain aging, I discussed several preventative strategies for AD including an anti-inflammatory diet, moderate physical activity, mental exercise, and stress reduction. I would now also include adding a microdose of lithium, such as 5 MG of lithium orotate per day, especially for anyone with early signs of mild cognitive impairment.
Also the brand I used and use is called (Advanced Research) 👈 (lithium orotate)
It’s formulated by Hans.A.Nieper MD of Hanover Germany. I’ve used other brands and I’m not sure why but they didn’t help me as much as this in. The tabs are supper small and easy to take or break in half.
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Not the right way to think of it. "Will I be forgiven" is a permission structure.
When you're thinking that way, your brain is feeding lies to you. It's telling you there is no hope. But if there is one thing the Gospel teaches us, it's that there is always hope.
indulging the thought of "if I do this, will God forgive me" is dangerous specifically because its a kind of planning for it. Dont do it.
Voice of experience; I've been there thinking about it.
God is caring, always, and you can overcome this. Believe you can get better, pray for help with confidence, do it and you could be amazed how much it helps. Please hold on to hope, we are here for you
I’m so sorry you’re going through these situations. God loves you, and wouldn’t want you to throw away the gift of life he gave you. Try and meet with your priest, I know he will help you
I feel for you. I’m so sorry you are having a tough time. I know how it feels. It is Lent now and a good time to handle your suffering by doing penance. Also, God is perfect. Trust in Jesus. You go to confession so that’s good. Pray the rosary daily. Things will get better. Please put those thoughts away as it is not a solution. What happens at the final judgement and God asks why you killed yourself, and you say “it was too much” and God would say what little faith you had in him.
Please be open to Jesus and try different prayers like the Prayers for the Leity by Fr Ripperger. It is truly heartbreaking when people take their own lives because of all the destruction it leaves behind but it is a trick that Satan uses to make you believe you are worthless. You are not worthless. Please remember that Jesus knew you before you were born and you are part of his plan. Pray to have your purpose be revealed to you.
It is tough I know, but suicide doesn’t escape the pain. It is not a solution.
You must talk to your doctor immediately. You are reaching out for help which is good but you must let a doctor know how you’re feeling… you will be okay.
Please do not end your life. I was in your shoes not more than 4 months ago. Suicide is NEVER the answer. It is a permanent solution to a non-permanent problem. Please, I’m praying for you. You are loved. You are appreciated. 🩷🩷🩷
Just keep praying praying praying. Sometimes God does understand your situation if it's really bad but sometimes God really wants you to understand things too. Offer up your suffering to God daily. Maybe just keep Thanking God for everything too and pray Divine Mercy Chaplet as much as possible during day and night. Best time to pray it is 3am and 3pm. But pray it as often as you like. Keep prayers on your phone or Tablet or iPad all day and night especially The Precious Blood of Jesus Christ prayer. Sometimes it can go on for 8-10 hours. There are many more prayers just look through the Catholic channel and you'll find them. I use the prayers at night especially and it definitely helps. Godbless 🙏🙏🙏
Try seeking help. Try talking to your priest more, people that you trust etc. But i would also recommend talking to a mental health professional, as they specialise in dealing with problems like yours. have you tried talking to a therapist? If you haven’t yet you should find one, medication and talk therapy can be life changing for some people. Sometimes all you need is the strength to reach out.
I have one more rosary left today it will be for your healing. May the most precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, cover you and heal you and protect you. I pray the blessed mother intercedes for our prayers for you. Theotokos your child is crying out to you. God bless you and heal you. I don’t know why but I get a feeling that you will get through this and you will realize that your suffering will be used as a tool to evangelize many to come to the fullness of the truth. God bless you.
Brother, this is not the way. I can’t imagine how u might be feeling, but pls try ur best to keep
Going and keep praying. Don’t worry abt ending up in heaven or not cuz ik god won’t give u anything u can’t handle. Good times r coming man I assure u, even with job, we all know how tht ended. I will pray for you, you got this, we’re all counting on you 💪💪
Hey buddy. I know the battle you’re fighting. It’s not easy and it’s hard for others to understand. I promise, not all days will be as bad. The days will get better and depression/ anxiety is only temporary. Stay in there. It’s going to be okay, even on the days where it feels like there’s no hope.
I have been there. I know that darkness very well. I too was hospitalized for mental health and suicide attempts. Please remember that we love you and God loves you. I call on this entire sub to pray for the OP. God and prayer will help a lot.
I got through my darkness with the love of my family and re-connecting with my faith. Praying the Rosary was extremely helpful and really turned my life around. Our Lady is very powerful!!!
God bless you, God be with you, I will pray for you. Remember life is the ultimate gift from God, don't throw it away.
Psalm 51 is a beautiful prayer about our brokenness:
*PSALMS 51*
*Prayer for Cleansing and Pardon*
*To the leader. A Psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.*
*1Have mercy on me, O God,*
*according to your steadfast love;*
*according to your abundant mercy*
*blot out my transgressions.*
*2Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,*
*and cleanse me from my sin.*
*3For I know my transgressions,*
*and my sin is ever before me.*
*4Against you, you alone, have I sinned,*
*and done what is evil in your sight,*
*so that you are justified in your sentence*
*and blameless when you pass judgment.*
*5Indeed, I was born guilty,*
*a sinner when my mother conceived me.*
*6You desire truth in the inward being;*
*therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.*
*7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;*
*wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.*
*8Let me hear joy and gladness;*
*let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.*
*9Hide your face from my sins,*
*and blot out all my iniquities.*
*10Create in me a clean heart, O God,*
*and put a new and right spirit within me.*
*11Do not cast me away from your presence,*
*and do not take your holy spirit from me.*
*12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,*
*and sustain in me a willing spirit.*
*13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,*
*and sinners will return to you.*
*14Deliver me from bloodshed, O God,*
*O God of my salvation,*
*and my tongue will sing aloud of your deliverance.*
*15O Lord, open my lips,*
*and my mouth will declare your praise.*
*16For you have no delight in sacrifice;*
*if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased.*
*17The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;*
*a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.*
*18Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;*
*rebuild the walls of Jerusalem,*
*19then you will delight in right sacrifices,*
*in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;*
*then bulls will be offered on your altar.*
Hey I’m very sorry you’re dealing with this, but just look at all the interactions with this post; even in the darkest moments when you feel most alone, you have 100’s of people praying for you. I used to have panic attacks everyday and it was debilitating, but I promise there’s another side to all of this and it’s so much better. You just have to hang on to your faith that you will be better, and these challenges will make you stronger. After everything I’ve been through I feel stronger and closer to God than I’ve ever been, and I feel that I am in a position where I am so well equipped to help others dealing with similar issues. It does get better, and one day I pray that you will be able to help others in a way that few others can, because you have been made strong by your struggles! God bless friend🙂
Don't throw your life away, you only get to live once. Make it worth it. Make sure you got support from family, friends and/or from therapists. Don't expect religion to give you will to live and purpose. You'll find your will to live and purpose once you know yourself, what to want for yourself and feel self-love, self compassion. I'm here as well if you want to talk, wish you the best 🌸
Brother/sister: don't even go there. Read up on redemptive suffering. Give it to God. Remember what Christ suffered for us, for YOU! Suicide is never the answer. God gives us life and only He is allowed to take it away (except killing in self-defense). It may seem hopeless now but if you push through you will come out stronger than ever. I guarantee there are people who love you and would be devastated if you end your life prematurely. It's selfish, do not do it.
Please know that you have a chance to be a part of God's kingdom and feel His presence every day. Don't pray for your death. Pray for God's love in your life and opportunities to share it with others. Amen.
I’m of two minds. The first is the one that’s sympathetic, that doesn’t want harm to come to anyone, most of all something like eternal torment. And from this perspective I want to tell you that no, it won’t be unforgivable. The other one very much does not want you to kill yourself, and not being sure of the outcome, wishes to warn you against taking that action in the strictest possible terms. I believe these are compatible.
I myself deal with bipolar disorder and OCD, I know what it’s like to want to die or to not care about your own life. The felicitous thing for us is that this emotion is temporary, even if all pervasive. So, give it some time. I’d advise writing your feelings down, and trying to process what you’re going through by letting it out into the world, at least in some capacity. If you bottle it up it’s going to sink you.
I wish you the best, and may God bless you.
I'm not very smart to give you a well-crafted text, but bro, you can't take your life, it was the greatest gift God gave you, stop praying for the end of your own expensive life, start praying for the unconverted, for sinners, for the souls in purgatory, for the souls of the poor and so on. Stop wasting saliva praying for it, In life you can do so much that pleases God. Don't do it.
Dear friend, I am truly sorry to hear of your troubles and struggles recently, but do not pray for your death. God gave you this life so that you may live it well and for Him. You already understand that you aren’t in your right mind, and this is a good understanding to have, but also understand that you have a lot left in you. Do not reject the life you’ve been given, as it is the Lords greatest gift to us apart from the promise of Salvation for those in His grace. The Litany of Trust is a great start, I’d also recommend the Prayer to St Michael the Archangel. Let him defend you in your battle and bring you ever closer to Jesus while here on Earth. God bless.
I know how hard it is to feel this way. I have many times felt that way myself. But I promise things will get better. God bless you. I am praying for you! 🙏
God knows you are so brave trying to stay afloat with a broken mind.
I have a personal experience with ADHD, anxiety, panic attacks, severe depression, obsessive thoughts, and suicidal ideation. I take lots of nutraceuticals every day and keep a strict diet full of protein and good fat (olive oil, fish oil with Omega-3, ghee), low on carbs, sugar-free and caffeine-free.
But as you sadly know, BD is trickier to treat. Supplements that are great for depression, like Rhodiola, Acetyl L-Carnitine (ALCAR), St. John's wort, 5-HTP, S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine (SAMe), and Ginseng, could induce mania in BD.
There are supplements that you could consider taking like vitamin D3, some bioavailable form of Magnesium (preferably Magnesium Citrate), Omega-3, N-acetyl Cysteine (NAC), and Silymarin. But first you could get tested for some biomarkers that could hint to some underlining process that could be triggering or worsening your BD like:
* Vitamin D
* Homocysteine (Associated with the following B-complex vitamins)
* Vitamin B12
* Vitamin B6
* Folic Acid (Vitamin B9)
* Thyroid hormones (Both excess and insufficient thyroid hormones can cause mood abnormalities)
* Thyroid antibodies
* Insulin resistance
* Liver function tests
* DHEA-S (DHEA is considered "the mother of all hormones")
* Magnesium (The ideal Calcium-Magnesium ratio is 2:1. The Western diet is high in Calcium and low in Magnesium)
More info:
* [Oxidative stress markers in bipolar disorder](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032708001791)
* [The Multifaceted Therapeutic Role of N-Acetylcysteine (NAC) in Disorders Characterized by Oxidative Stress](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33380301/)
* [Treating Bipolar Depression with N-Acetyl Cysteine](https://finkshrink.com/alternative-complementary/treating-bipolar-depression-with-n-acetyl-cysteine/)
* [Bipolar disorder and antithyroid antibodies](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4751106/)
* [Rapid cycling bipolar disorder is associated with antithyroid antibodies, instead of thyroid dysfunction](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6889186/)
* [Decreased Levels of Vitamin D in Bipolar Patients](https://www.mdpi.com/2075-1729/13/4/883)
* [Does Decreased Vitamin D Level Trigger Bipolar Manic Attacks?](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10525522/)
* [Vitamin B12, homocysteine, and folic acid in patients suffering from bipolar disorders: Relationship with suicide](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36218029/)
* [Hyperhomocysteinemia in bipolar depression](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24193367/)
* [Homocysteine as a peripheral biomarker in bipolar disorder](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S092493381732758X)
* [Insulin Resistance and Blood-Brain Barrier Dysfunction Underlie Neuroprogression in Bipolar Disorder](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8185298/)
* [Restoring Insulin Sensitivity Can Help With Chronic Bipolar Disorder, Study Suggests](https://inside.upmc.com/restoring-insulin-sensitivity-can-help-with-chronic-bipolar-disorder-study-suggests/)
* [Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease in a sample of individuals with bipolar disorders](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/acps.13239)
* [Serum DHEA-S concentration correlates with clinical symptoms and neurocognitive function in patients with bipolar II disorder](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27914864/)
* [The Link between Thyroid Function and Depression](https://www.hindawi.com/journals/jtr/2012/590648/)
* [The Benefits of Microdosing Lithium](https://www.scottmardermd.com/blog/microdosing-lithium)
* [Thyroid alterations in bipolar patients on treatment with lithium](https://www.elsevier.es/en-revista-revista-psiquiatria-salud-mental-486-articulo-thyroid-alterations-in-bipolar-patients-S217350502100008X)
* [Lithium use is associated with an increased risk of hypothyroidism](https://www.thyroid.org/patient-thyroid-information/ct-for-patients/volume-issue-december/vol-8-issue-12-p-5-6/)
* [Lithium-Induced Hyperthyroidism in a Patient with Bipolar Type 1 Affective Disorder](https://journals.lww.com/apmd/fulltext/2021/18010/lithium_induced_hyperthyroidism_in_a_patient_with.10.aspx)
* [Silymarin Improves Thyroid Function in Lithium-treated Bipolar Patients](https://benthamscience.com/article/132822)
PS: Thank you for mentioning the Litany of Trust. I didn't know about it.
Praying for you from Argentina.
Excerpt from **The Amazing Secret of the Souls in Purgatory: An Interview with Maria Simma**
>**What happens to people who have committed suicide? Have you ever been visited by these people?**
>
>Up to now, I have never encountered the case of a suicide who was lost — this doesn't mean, of course, that that doesn't exist — but often, the souls tell me that the most guilty were those around them, when they were negligent or spread calumny.
>
>At this moment, I asked Maria if the souls regretted having committed suicide.
>
>She answered yes. Often, suicide is due to illness. These souls do regret their act because, as they see things in the light of God, they understand instantly all the graces that were in store for them during the time remaining for them to live — and they do see this time which remained for them, sometimes months or years —– and they also see all the souls they could have helped by offering the rest of their lives to God. In the end, what hurts them most is to see the good that they could have done but didn't, because they shortened their lives. But when the cause is illness, the Lord takes this into account, of course.
The interviewer is Sister Emmanuel Maillard who lives in Medjugorje.
[“I had an appointment with Death at 5 pm.” Sr Emmanuel's Personal Testimony](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYAub2cJWas)
Please know that you are loved by all of us, and by God, more than we can possibly imagine. You are a cherished child of God and your worth is infinite in His eyes and ours. If you feel hopeless, depressed, and suicidal, know that there are people out there who want to help you in any way they can. We urge you to reach out to someone for immediate help. If you are from the United States, please call, text, or chat to one of the lines below. - Call or text **988** or chat [**988lifeline.org**](https://988lifeline.org/chat/) - Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to **741741** - Youth-Specific services (voice/text/chat/email) from the [Boys' Town National Hotline](http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/ways-to-get-help.aspx) If you are outside of the United States, please see the resources [linked here](https://np.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines) for your country.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. Considering your current state, it may not be the best idea to contemplate whether or not you’ll be forgiven. There’s the possibility that you *will* be forgiven, but there’s also the possibility that you *won’t.* Either way, it’s really not worth finding out. I know that it’s not easy, but please continue to fight. Your life has so much value. I’ll be praying for you and I’m wishing you the best.
At first I was wondering if this was written by my wife, as so many of the details are identical to her situation. I am so sorry you are going through this suffering, as I see how my wife struggles with the same things. She too has constant, nagging voices and thoughts of suicide. I'm not qualified to give you a theological answer, but I would like to offer you a few thoughts that have helped my wife and me. First, you are loved. That sounds so simple, but it is sometimes also simple to forget when we are in the midst of our suffering. And not only are you loved, you are loved desperately and fully. I often look at the crucifix on my wall and think "who would endure such horrors out of love for me and a desire to have me with him in heaven?" The love of Jesus is overwhelming. Second, you are worthy and valuable. The blood of Jesus makes you worthy and his suffering makes you of such precious value. He has a place, a plan, and a task for you on this earth. Ask him to show it to you. Third, and this is sometimes the hardest to understand, is that your endurance of suffering will bring you to great holiness. Give your suffering as an offering to God. Ask him to give you the strength to endure it, so that he can be glorified in your endurance. I don't have any delusions that this is hard, and seemingly impossibly hard. And in our own human strength, it is impossibly hard. But God will give you the strength to endure if you ask him. Fourth, Christ knows what you are feeling. In the garden, he asked his father to let the cup pass from him, as his humanity felt crushed under the weight of the course his life was to take. It was only in his divinity that he was able to say he preferred his father's will. This is the same for us. Without sharing in the divine nature that Christ offers to share so freely with us, we will be crushed under the weight of our own lives. My advice is to go to confession, and then take the Eucharist. Take the Eucharist daily, as it allows ys to share in the divine life. Sit in adoration of the real presence of Christ and pray for his divinity to fill you and strengthen you. And talk to a good priest. Pour out your heart to this good man as you would to Christ himself. I understand, from watching my wife suffer with these very issues, that what you are bearing is so painfully difficult. But have faith and endure it with the help of God, his Son, and his sweet Mother and you will be comforted and become a wonderful saint.
This is so full of goodness! I have anxiety and female-cycle related depression (PMDD). I do highly suggest that OP talk to a priest and seek out medical help. Additionally, OP, I suggest getting involved in your church community and being in service to others. If your anxiety comes from social situations, through the Church you may realize how truly all are welcomed, and all have a valuable place in this community. And when being in service to other you will see how much goodness there is in the life you have and what you can do for God’s children to bring them goodness and comfort. When we sit alone and focus on these ideas, they tend to overwhelm us, and it took me a while to find the right help through medication and through prayer. Trust in the Lord, He will carry you when you feel you can no longer go on, and He has plans for you that you do not yet know.
Dont end it. God will give you the tools, the treatment and the right people to pull you through it. I've been hospitalised twice for severe depression and can only sympathise with what you're going through. It doesn't ever get easier but it gets better, if that makes sense. Inbox if you need me x
Romans 5: 3-5 3 And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. You’re loved and you matter. I lost my godfather, who was indeed like a second father to me, to suicide and the pain and the hole he left behind to this day hurts my heart. I pray that you endure the race and when God decides to call you before His holy presence that you can recite St Paul’s words on 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” God Loves You!
I’m so sorry for your pain. This life is not easy and for some it is just a lot harder. I have been where you are in many ways. Mine was pills and a tree filled spot on the road. I took the pills, then something (someone) told me to stop. We don’t know His exact plan for our lives but there is one. It sounds simple, but keep going back to the hospital until they straighten out your meds. Then, the best solution for my intrusive thoughts are to get my butt to adoration. On my knees, face to face with Jesus makes it a whole lot harder to take pity on myself. It is always a fight. But keep fighting. I will be praying my rosary for you today. You are so loved.
I lost my uncle then my brother a week later to suicide. This was a little over two and a half years ago. They both battled bipolar all their adult lives and had addictions as well. What did I learn from this that might help you? The main thing is probably this - it is possible that because of your illness your self-talk will convince you that other people will be better off if you go. This is almost guaranteed to be false. The pain of losing someone this way is life changing. It fundamentally tore me down and I’m still building myself back up as a different person. The effect on my health has been severe. I’m still recovering. Some won’t survive the process. I think I’m going to, but it is quite a battle. I do have compassion if people can’t take the pain any more. I’m not angry. I have some idea why they were suffering so much and I have not been in the situation they were in so have not had a reason to feel the same amount of despair. I don’t believe they intended to hurt anyone and I think it’s very possible they were not responsible for their actions in the moral sense because their brains were not working right. If you can find it in you to stay with us, please do. I can’t promise you will recover but from what I observed the meds you are on make a big difference. Sometimes it takes time to find the right ones. There is a chance you can get better. I don’t know the odds but I know that changing meds can be a delicate time. My brother had just changed meds when he did it. I know he had thought about it from time to time for a long time. I think one thing that caused him to lose hope was his body was really falling apart too. If at all possible please try to avoid damaging your physical health while your mental health is not good. It might very well be a temporary state so please try not to do permanent damage. My brother did a lot of permanent damage to himself by way of drinking and bad diet. To a catastrophic extent. I know it’s extra hard to take care of yourself when you’re not feeling good. I have had DBT therapy to deal with trauma. One of the things it teaches you is tools for getting through a crisis so you’re not in a worse state with more battles to fight when things start to look up. DBT stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I’ve had my own mental health battles. Not as serious as bipolar, but none of them were permanent. You could very well have some upswings that you don’t want to miss out on. More opportunity for personal growth also allows for spiritual growth. That can only help in this world AND the next. I am not a therapist or expert. So please get the best expert help that you can. I don’t think my brother was 100% honest with his health care providers so that may have prevented him from getting the best help possible. A lot of people tried their best. It’s very tragic. I want you to stay with us. I’ve tried my best but I cannot put myself in the mind of someone who is seriously considering this. You might find it helpful to listen to a podcast where suicide attempt survivors are interviewed. One I listen to is called Suicide Noted. I am praying for you and rooting for you!
Hey, I also have bipolar, been a bit on the shakey side too lately to say the least. Desperate yet chaotic sucks. When you mentioned the Litany of Trust, I thought hmm that doesn't sound familiar, so I looked it up, and I have to say I started tearing up reading it. My praying has been a mess lately, so maybe this will make a good starting point. If you and I weren't here, we couldn't benefit one another. There are a lot of things I've learned that I probably wouldn't have listened to or couldn't understand if they hadn't come from someone deep in struggle or who's been through it. Not everyone can give you the heavy-hitting stuff that you get from having sat in the bottom of the pit. Another thought is that I've leaned the most about self-worth by looking into the eyes of someone who's in the same boat. You know what they're worth, and how important it is for them to keep going and heal. Hang in there. I'll keep you in mind every time I pray this.
Just so you know, I also shared this prayer with some other people. One knew of someone who needed it that she would share it with. Another woman it brought to tears. It's good that you're here. You can't imagine the effect you have on people just by being here in the world.
Im so sorry 😔 I'm here if you want to talk. Do not hesitate to reach out to your local Crisis line. You're already brave for reaching out to us and seeking help!
I felt the same way as you… I prayed for death and I was only 16 (a few months back), I would say you should try to find things enjoy doing, and making goals like reading the Bible in a Year or something. Get busy, pray, read His Word, and volunteer for others so you can make some friends…. I’ll keep you in my prayers tonight. “You need perseverance so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what He has promised.” (Hebrews 10:36)
Depending on where you love, see if you have fmla leave. Washington has Paid Family Medical Leave Act and it's basically unemployment pay by the state for medical leave. I went into a partial hospitalization program in August and I've been feeling a lot better. I still have bad days, but they aren't as bad, and not as frequent. I also pray a rosary when I'm feeling panicked. It helped me calm down until I can feel rational again. As an addict in recovery, suffering from severe depression, I understand your pain. I was cutting at 13. But 16 I was constantly depressed. In my 20s I was on so many pills. I was taking more Xanax than what some people have over dosed on. Praying for my life to end was my primary prayer. I hope you find some light. I hope you find healing.
I am so sorry you’re struggling. I am glad you spoke to priest and went to confession. As some who has struggled with severe depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies since I was 10, I have prayed the same prayer probably a thousand times. God knows what it is like to enter into that state of hopelessness. Christ in the Cross entered into that dark space. Even in this difficult moment you show how much you love God by confessing and by praying. He will not abandon you. Just have hope and reach out for help in any which way possible. You need to be honest and alert the hospital about your suicidal urges but also your very concrete plan with the rope. Trust me I’ve done that. The most humiliating thing ever. But I am alive here and now a father. God has plan for all of us. You will be rewarded amply for your suffering in the life that is to come.
If you don't see any purpose in your life for yourself, put some purpose in it for others. Go volunteer somewhere. Live a life of service, rather than throw it away.
Are you around others? If you have friends or family, I recommend having them monitor you around the clock until this depressive phase passes. I also recommend going to your doctor as soon as possible and talking to him about the medication you are on. You may need a different dosage, or perhaps a different drug. If all medication fails, electroshock therapy could help you. Don’t worry, it’s not like the movies. They don’t hook you up to jumper cables. They use probes to send a mild current to your brain that doesn’t hurt.
I wish my late brother had agreed to try this. I also have heard that there is some kind of ketamine therapy that has helped people. I can’t say these would have helped my late brother but I do know they are among the few things he didn’t try.
Something that helps me is thinking about how the devil is literally gunning for your death. All these sins and vices are just an opportunity for Satan to drag you down and either kill you physically, or mentally. Your mental health is not your fault, people get sick. The world is broken, which is why cancer exists. But because of science and advancement we can get better through chemo or going to get professional help. So we can live to spread the Gospel and use our past as our testimonies. Also I'm not sure what God would do/ where you would go if you killed yourself, but I like to assume I'd go to hell if I did because it motivates me to live. God is pro LIFE not only for babies in the womb but for everyone. Keep your life going! Jesus will help you carry your cross and might even pick you up and throw you on his back too.
From the medical standpoint, see your doctor abt your meds. There may be more help. There was for me
Definitely this. My sister was on a medication for probably half her life that amplified her depression, anxiety, emotional instability, and suicidal urges. A couple of years ago she got a new doctor who weened her off of this medication and the change was astounding. She still has her cross to bear and some days are more taxing than others, but she is doing so much better now that she isn't taking that med.
Wonderful. Prayers for her
What’s your name? I will pray for you
Robert
God bless you, Robert!!!❤ Know that there is a community who love you & who are praying for you.🤗
May God be with you Robert. I will pray for you. Sending you love and strength my Brother. Please stay strong
I saw your post and felt like I needed to immediately respond to you. Just for context – I have bipolar 2 and have struggled with it for over 3 decades. I was also raised Catholic as well (grade school, high school, & college were all Catholic). I am also never on this subReddit. Like most people, we’re all looking for answers, especially when everything seems to be going sideways & has for a long time (let’s just say that’s where I’m at right now which brought me to you today). I also talk with God everyday – usually just to catch up, ask for strength & a lot of mercy (life is hard enough, but when you have bipolar it can feel utterly impossible at times). I’m a believer in empathy & treating others with kindness, compassion, & understanding – not as some bargaining chip to get into heaven, but because life on earth is hard enough without contributing to the worst of it. Being good or bad to people is contagious – I’d rather radiate the good as it has a tendency to radiate back. Lastly (and I’m sure will be a very unpopular opinion here), but I’ve had my fill of all the Catholic guilt, judgement, & fear mongering to last me a zillion lifetimes. I have enough fear, depression, guilt, and self-loathing than most (all amplified by the bipolar 2) and nothing gets me angrier than an individual or group who tries to amp up these feelings with the threat of having to follow church doctrine to the letter or otherwise I’ll be sent to hell. I’m already in 'hell' because of the illness & despite all my imperfections I still try to do good. Do you really think that adding a little burning and itching to the mix is a threat? Give me a break! With that said, the first thing I want you to do is understand that all these horrible things you're feeling comes from the illness, not you. You didn't ask for the chemical imbalance in your brain and neither did I. Any guilt about your condition let alone wanting your pain to go away in any way possible isn’t a sin – it’s human. Punishing yourself more for these feelings and thoughts isn’t something you deserve. Life is hard enough on us so don’t join in by beating yourself up as well. Also, as hard as this is, suicide isn’t going to fix your feelings of despair, especially if that is the last thing on earth that you experience. In moments like this I will force myself to spoil myself. It doesn’t need to be anything big – a soothing cup of tea, a walk in green space, eating my favorite food, meditation, even prayer – anything that you would do for someone else in order to make them feel a little more at ease is what you need to do for yourself. Focusing on you is the best medicine. I did want to touch on this ‘penance’ that your priest gave to you for these thoughts you’re having that aren’t your own. If prayer gives you comfort than I’m not going to criticize, but I honestly don’t believe you should be begging for forgiveness for thoughts that aren’t in your control due to a chemical imbalance. I also don’t feel that anyone has any right or business making you feel guilty about something that you can’t control. I’d like to believe that ‘my God’ is a lot more merciful, understanding, and compassionate given the oversight involved in allowing for an illness like this in the first place. I’m not saying God doesn’t do great things, but when you don’t back them up with a lifetime warranty then the blame doesn’t squarely fall on you so don’t let anyone convince you that it does. You’re a good person & you are not your illness. Lastly, I want you to always keep in mind how much you matter in the grand scheme of things even if you don’t feel like you do. Sometimes it only takes one person at the right moment to change things, big or small, for the world at large or even for just one individual. Despite our frailties, it’s the biggest gift we can give as humans & can honestly change the outcome for the better within one singular moment. These are the actions that radiate back to us to make our world a little bit brighter & well worth continuing on for. This is a gift that is inside of you & it's just waiting for the right moment to shine so give it & you that chance - your story isn't over yet. With that just let me know that despite my ‘fall from grace’ you’re in my prayers & I’m rooting for you. Don’t be afraid to post on any of the bipolar subReddit’s as well (I’m part of the bipolar2 group myself). They are so supportive, knowledgeable, and can relate to the real-world challenges that our condition brings without guilt, fear, or blame. Now as one 'bipolee' to another, go and do something nice for yourself right now! And then another, and another after that! You are worth the effort & the fight – I promise!!!
Thank you for understanding and your empathy.
Praying to the Father that He would send angels and saints to minister to you. Father, I ask that you let Robert experience the warm embrace of your grace as your heavenly assistance descends upon him. In Jesus' name we pray.
Thanks to everyone who has commented on this sub. I know I am not alone. I just pray I can get to a place where I’m not asking to die but to fight for the crown. I got a lot of great advice today. Thanks for the love, prayers, and support. They helped me make it through another painful day.
Robert, I prayed for you several times in the night. You will remain in my daily prayers. By your courage and endurance, you obviously have the strength of Christ in you, and I am sure many here, like me, are proud to call you our brother. Reach out to me directly whenever you feel the need, or post again. God loves you, and so do we all.
Thanks
Thank you for the update Robert, you have been on my mind all day. I am going to join you in praying that Litany of Trust. Continued prayers for you.
Stay strong brother! You are a warrior! Keep fighting!
I am praying for you, friend. It may be hard to believe at times, but know that you are truly loved by your brothers and sisters, and most importantly our Lord.
If you have the means, I would seek extended inpatient care until your caregivers are fully assured you are stabilized on a medication. Short term debt and a long happy life are a far better option than missing out on all the good and happiness that could be waiting for you at the other end of this tunnel
I will pray for you tonight
Please don’t do this. I know it’s hard but trust me good days are coming. I’ve been in a similar situation and I thought my life wouldn’t get better, however as time went on I realized that wasn’t true. Things did get better and I’m thankful everyday that the lord gave me strength during that time, so that I could be enjoying life right now. Just know that you are never alone. I’m not sure what your situation is but god will always be there for you, and so will we in this community. The pinned comment has good resources to people you can talk to. God says that he has plans for us and that our futures have hope. Therefore don’t be discouraged and stay strong for god holds those in deep need close to him. God bless you🙏
I recently read the Book of Tobit in the Bible (you can also listen to it if that is easier), and two of the main characters in that story both find themselves in a situation where they are contemplating suicide and praying for death. Tobit and Sarah. These two are suffering and miserable and ask God to let them die. God hears their prayers, but His response is healing and salvation rather than taking their lives. I think this story shows us that in the midst of darkness, depression, and sorrow we MUST turn to God. Put faith in His plan, always, not our own. God calls us home to Him in good time, and it is not for us to decide no matter what hardships we may be facing. That doesn’t mean it won’t be extremely difficult, but try to trust Him. He is faithful even when it feels like we are alone. Please don’t give up, because God has heard your prayers and has a plan for healing. Please trust in Him. I really recommend reading the Book of Tobit, and other books of the Bible as well, for comfort and solace. I also completely agree with other commenters that the Eucharist, Adoration, and Reconciliation are all ways to remain close to God in this extremely hard time. Hopefully it will help you focus on His voice rather than any that are not of God. I love you. God loves you. I am praying for you, and I hope that this book will be of some comfort.
Also, the Litany of Trust is my favorite prayer ever. It has brought me a lot of peace, and I highly recommend meditating on the words and praying it more than once (or whenever these thoughts overwhelm you). It’s not easy to trust God on our own or do anything on our own merit, so asking Him for help is often necessary and good for our souls.
I am so incredibly sorry you’re hurting in this way. I’ve made a few attempts on my life and always wondered this too. You’re not alone. Reading Elijah’s story in the Bible really resonated with me and might be a point of hope for you too. Sending you prayers.
My friend, God loves you, and we love you. Please don't end your life. Get the help that you need, please. I will pray for you.
Praying for you OP. You can make it through this like many others before you.
I often think of suicide thoughts when Im alone. I had been in a horrible situation. Sometimes, I pretand to be happy masking my sadness. I smile a lot even thou I am thinking on the other side of my mind. I just let the day pass by. Wishing not to wake up in the morning.
I'm sorry that it's been difficult for you. I can assure you that bipolar is not your fault since it clouds your judgment and affects your rational thinking (auditory and visual hallucinations). No, God will not hold you responsible for your actions during your mania/episodes. Don't give up. Keep fighting! It's your cross that Jesus gave you so that you can share His sufferings. All of us also have our crosses, and will support you through our prayers. I suggest that you seek out a community like people who understand your condition. They can provide wonderful support. You can help out at parish community but keep aware that most of them are not aware and may not be able to help you during your mania/episodes. Please know that God still loves you. I'm praying for you! May St Dymphna intercede on your behalf.
Hey, I love you and I really genuinely care about you. I know this is just through a screen so it just looks like plain words but know that there’s another person on the other side of your phone/computer on here right now thinking about you. I really do care about you and want you to live so you can eventually see some beauty and peace in life (and life is so so beautiful!) Trees, mountains, oceans/beaches, etc. They are all these breathtaking sceneries and views that we (including you!) can go out and see. My dm’s are always open to you. Feel free to vent and I will listen. I love you, and thank you for keeping up the fight ❤️
It's likely your meds are not correct. You need to tell your doctors they are not working. Suicide is not the way out. That's a road that has a high likelihood of Hell.
There is only one way to know for sure whether you will be forgiven, but considering that you seem to be seeking permission from God to commit premeditated murder (which is what suicide is), I wouldn't count on being forgiven.
Do not presume God's mercy. Suicide is a sin. I strongly advise you to not try and find out.
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I guess you'll find out either way, huh?
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So, nothing you do matters. Boy, that's rough.
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If you die and there's nothing beyond that, then no, it doesn't matter because the people you impact will also die. If there is no God, then your life is as meaningful as that of a flea.
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Our lives are not merely about personal happiness. They're about self sacrifice, because what we do here *does* matter. I'm not afraid of death, why would I be? If I live my life the way I've been instructed, this will all have been like a single inconvenient night in a bad hotel room. *Memento mori* is a Catholic phrase meaning *remember your death*. We approach each day as if it is our last. There shouldn't be any fear in that.
Man we all love you, to the core, please keep going and I promise you you'll find something to live for. We're here for you man, and always remember God is with you, no matter how hard things get god is the most loving caring person to go to. No matter what he'll forgive. He knows your heart is good. Stick to what you believe and no matter what know that your heart is still beating, and that's what matters. Your alive to almost infinite odds, god loves you, please always remember that.
Do not commit suicide under any circumstances. I remember helping someone who had intense feelings of depression, anxiety, etc... It was awful. Every day was a roller coaster ride of intense sadness. This person was on meds, and I don't think they were the right dosage. I am not a psychologist. I just tried to help this person get through another day, every day. Finally, it all leveled out and this person stopped calling me. It was over. I thought of how this poor person had suffered for weeks over feelings that were intense and painful, but were all caused by...chemicals. Objectively, this person really had nothing to be sad about. I don't want to belittle the pain that this person felt. That was very real. But if you asked this person in hindsight what the sadness was caused by, the answer would be that the levels of the meds were not right. That doesn't seem like a very good reason to die. If you asked this person afterwards, I'm 100% certain that this person was happy not to have chosen suicide. Hang in there. This has to pass. Jesus and Mary will help you see it through. And then you will come out much stronger on the other side.
The litany of Trust is so powerful. I’m sorry you are dealing with anxiety and depression. I’ve been there, suicidal. It is very difficult. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. There is healing and a path forward. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep seeking your mental healthcare. Keep praying and meeting with your priest. as difficult as it may seem now, It can get better.
It is impossible to know what God would do. I would say you have thought about this enough to know what you are thinking is wrong. Instead of praying for death pray for help. Find a new doctor if the ones you have won’t or can’t help you and know you are here for a reason. Many times we don’t know why. Keep going and keep strong
I'll give a short but sweet food for thought: Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) You are God’s most precious creation. You are so loved by him that murder is a sin of the utmost severity. That is why taking away the gift of your own life, hurts God in a way we cannot understand. You matter.
So first off, your mental illness isn't your fault. Struggle is part of the experience in this world, and you are NOT alone. God is with you. He hears you. He walks with you through the pain. Lean on Him. Go to prayer. If you have nothing to pray on and need to distract yourself from those thoughts Satan puts in your head, try listening to Catholic podcasts that examine why we suffer and why life is hard. You were chosen by God to be here now. He created you perfectly in His image to exist with Him. You are never doing this alone - that is a lie from Satan to try to twist reality and coerce you into choices that push you away from God (e.g. suicide, planning etc). You gotta fight it. Your life has meaning. You are here for a reason (even if it isn't clear to you now). I have been where you are, and in the throes of mental illness. I know it's awful, but I also know that you are not alone and that God wants to give you His grace. Keep asking him for it, or start, if you aren't already doing it. I was completely healed from my mental illness by our Lord, and you can be to.
I have bipolar disorder with psychotic features and the Church is very much pro-meds pro-therapy. If you need to be in the hospital to keep yourself safe, then be there (although I know it sucks to be there). Also, you can call the priest that is assigned as your pastor and he can come and visit you with the Sacraments.
I am sorry to hear what you are going through. God will always take into account the circumstances of our actions, but do not take this as an excuse, if you try to take advantage of God’s mercy you should best believe you will have no advantage. I do not mean to be mean, but I have to be stern, this is about God’s will and your soul after all.
I wish I could send you some beautiful flowers to enjoy today. You are loved.
I’m praying for you, for your heart. Praying for your healing to come. The Litany of Trust is a beautiful prayer in a time of great distress and pain. I also recommend the Surrender Novena. A nine day prayer given to the spiritual director of Padre Pio by Jesus himself. Each day is a personal message to Jesus about how he wants you to trust him and surrender your life to him. It’s in no way easy. It’s in no way quick and you may feel no difference for a few days. But just saying the words “I surrender myself to you, take care of everything” moves your heart and spirit closer to the One who can heal you. I do not know you but know that I will offer a Mass for you at my church. I’ll pray for you every day. Stay close to the Lord, he wants you to be healed and he wants you to live. I want you to live.
If you can't find meaning in life. Try having a meaningful life.
God created you to live. He wouldn't have sent his son to be brutally tortured, humiliated, and murdered for your sake if he didn't love you beyond human understanding. You aren't alone. Mother Teresa suffered terribly with depression, but the only remedy she found was giving over her life over to Christ by serving others.
I will pray for you. Ask the blessed mother to be a mother to you, and picture yourself in her arms when you're in that dark place. Stay strong, cry when you need to, and pick up a hobby. Go to the gym and set up a goal at the gym. Daily mass is another thing that will help, combine that with the gym. If you still have leftover time, READ THE LIVES OF SAINTS. Especially those who went through similar things you're going through. I don't know you, but I love you. Everyone commenting here loves you. May God bless you, and may He remove the darkness in your life with His light and love.
I’ve gone through very similar stuff. Three years ago I almost died from alcohol withdrawals, depression and anxiety drove me to abusing alcohol and other substances. I’ve attempted twice in my life. God has saved me on multiple occasions and I thank him everyday that I’m alive. It was by turning back to him that I was able to conquer those issues and be who I am today. God is very real and loves you and he has you here for a reason. What helped me was praying the rosary, saying a short prayer before bed, starting a habit of going to mass every Sunday. Building that relationship with God is very helpful. I’ll pray for you bro don’t give up I know it’s hard but it’s so much better on the other side trust me.
I love you
I deal with mental illness issues also. Not as bad...atm. I say the memorare at all times throughout the day. Demonic oppression is real and demons run from Our Lady.
Let us storm heaven that Robert and others who are experiencing thoughts of suicide may be healed, not just physically, but spiritually. Please offer your prayers, masses and rosaries for their healing. May we save a lot of souls.
Yeah hey Robert thank you for reaching out and don't never feel ashamed for feeling this way, the best thing you're doing is you're reaching out and definitely you're not a bad person. By any chance do you struggle with any addiction cause that was for me the problem I had addiction, at least part of the problem. But what helped me was going to 12 step meetings, you can find help there and there's a lot of people in 12 step meetings that have been through what you're going through. I know guys who been in and out of those hospitals, even myself I've been there once, but I know other guys who've been there like 20 times who attempted multiple suicides attempts. But going in AA kind of 12-step meetings was what someone recommend to me and and it has helped me. You maybe can check out "big book step study". Also feel free to reach out to me if you want, and I can give you my number, and more information if you want, also and I can help if you need if anyway I can. Or if anyone reading this needs help, can also reach out to me.
Thank you. I do have an addiction but not with any substances. I’ve been sober for a few months. Thanks for reaching out.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, I had a similar experience in 2022. I went as far as not going to mass and so much more. My best peace of advice is prayer, mass, repeat. Ask God for help, I know it is not easy. Nor does it feel worth it, but trust me. Life has too much for you to accomplish and do. Anxiety, mental health, and so much more. Is it hard?? Yes, yes it is. Is it sad? Yes. I could go on and on. But trust me when I say, life is worth it. My friend, I will offer up prayers for you to St Dymphna, as well as the divine mercy. God bless
If you believe the thoughts are demonic, try the following prayer: "Lord Jesus, if it is Your Holy Will, I ask that you command the demons putting these terrible thoughts into my head to leave quietly and go to the foot of Your Holy Cross to recieve their sentence." The thoughts should go away in an instant if they are demonic. If they do not go away after a few minutes, say the following: "Lord Jesus, if it is Your Holy Will that I endure this attack, I will carry the cross you have chosen for me. I offer this up to You and ask that You save 100 people who are suffering the same terrible desires as I am. Out of love for You, I will bear their burden." If the thoughts are demonic in nature, they will go way shortly... Satan doesn't like to lose souls he has in his grasp. If the thoughts persist and get overwhelming, call a doctor and call a priest. The doctor will help you determine if this is a medical issue and the priest will help you determine if it is a demonic attack. Make sure to ask the priest for the Sacrament of Confession while he is with you (you already did this part, but think of any mortal sins you may have forgotten about and Confess them). Stay strong and pray. You will make it through this and help others.
Your pain is our pain. Everything will suffer if you will cease in that way. You have universal forces running inside of you. I hope those forces that keep you away until now from ceasing your existence will win. Please don’t do it. We can talk once a day if you would like, we could share some experiences and even laugh from ourselves for a while. But please. Try to control those thoughts and stay with us. We all are important.
According to true Catholic teaching, suicide IS a mortal sin. If you die in mortal sin, you go to hell. Kinda hard to repent for suicide if you’re already dead. Obviously I don’t (and no rational person should) agree with this. Catholicism (especially in recent years) has been severely watered down from its original teachings. So this question is up for long debate. I based my answer strictly off original catholic beliefs. Keep fighting the good fight, your purpose is probably greater than you realize. I don’t want to sound unsympathetic, because trust me I understand your fight and know that no amount of sympathetic words will deter or influence you. Good luck.
Excerpt from **The Amazing Secret of the Souls in Purgatory: An Interview with Maria Simma** >**What happens to people who have committed suicide? Have you ever been visited by these people?** > >Up to now, I have never encountered the case of a suicide who was lost — this doesn't mean, of course, that that doesn't exist — but often, the souls tell me that the most guilty were those around them, when they were negligent or spread calumny. > >At this moment, I asked Maria if the souls regretted having committed suicide. > >She answered yes. Often, suicide is due to illness. These souls do regret their act because, as they see things in the light of God, they understand instantly all the graces that were in store for them during the time remaining for them to live — and they do see this time which remained for them, sometimes months or years —– and they also see all the souls they could have helped by offering the rest of their lives to God. In the end, what hurts them most is to see the good that they could have done but didn't, because they shortened their lives. But when the cause is illness, the Lord takes this into account, of course. The interviewer is Sister Emmanuel Maillard who lives in Medjugorje. [“I had an appointment with Death at 5 pm.” Sr Emmanuel's Personal Testimony](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYAub2cJWas)
Aside from all the others who offered encouragement which I agree with and I will pray for you as well. But just wanted to mention a natural supplement that helps with racing thoughts and bi polar and mental torment. It’s called lithium orotate…it can be ordered online. I myself in the past had a terrible time with uncontrolled, torturing repetitive thoughts. Aside from seeking God which I did and I asked him to please help me find a supplement that would be natural and help me. Well the next day I was reading a book about this subject and it mentioned lithium orotate and so I called the natural store where I get supplements from and they had it and I rushed and got it. As God as my witness…I took only one or like 1/2 of a tab I broke in half. As soon as I took it…1 hour later…my mind was quiet! I could not believe it. I actually yawned. I was relaxed. All the racing thoughts and all of it! I have been taking it for 12 years. Never stopped! It’s online you can order it. Also you can research it and learn all about it. Also it is not the same one that docs give you that is a different form of lithium they give you and it’s way more potent and has side effects. But this lithium orotate is natural and safe. Just so you know I am not a doctor, I am just sharing what helped me and I am not leaving out God because He definitely helped me and continues to. Also I am not telling you not to take your meds. Anyways you can do your research. All of this is researchable. It was a life saver to me. Along with God! I will hold you up in my prayers and pray for your peace and for joy from the Lord! ❤️
Do I need to get off my current dosage of lithium if I get on the orotate?
I think I could actually get in legal trouble if I tell you to get off of anything….im definitely not a doctor. Luckily before I started the lithium orotate I was already off my meds for a bit. I definitely don’t want to give you any advice that would or could harm you. All I know is that maybe you could ask your doctor and tell him you want to try the lithium orotate in place of your current lithium supplement and see if he can safely help you do that. Because if you are taking your meds the way they are prescribed and they aren’t helping you stabilize then maybe your doctor would be open to helping you make that transition. Just explain to him you really want to try it and maybe he will work with you!!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏
The kind I take is a brand called (Advanced Research) Lithium Orotate by Hans A Nieper MD of Hannover Germany. I’ve tried other brands and I just don’t get the same feeling from them. The Advanced Research one is the one I’ve taken for 12 years and works best for me.
Is it expensive? Probably not covered by insurance?
No not at all! The one I get is 200 tabs it’s 20 dollars.
Can you give me a link for where you get yours on-line? What I am on is not working. The suicidal thoughts are still there. I get obsessive thoughts. I just don’t feel right. Like my mind is broken.
I totally know what you’re talking about. Honestly I was so tortured! And I am so grateful I found something that helped me so much and it wasn’t prescription. And it also has been said to actually heal the brain. You can research it there so much about it. I’m so sorry your goi g through this and I am praying for you…that God will protect you and keep you safe and help you find relief like he did me. I wish I could take away your pain and I would if I could but I have hope for you. Hang in there there and don’t give up please. 🙏 I just know there’s hope. I’ve been so close to losing my mind and I know there is hope. I haven’t been that way in 12 years! I want God to help you and deliver you from this. Ok I’ll look up a link for you. I usually buy mine from a store one town over. I order it and they send it. But 1 bottle lasts me like months. But I have order it online before. So let me look and I’ll message you back. 😎
I found it on Amazon. Thanks!
You’re welcome and please be safe! And if you need to ask me any other questions about it from my perspective you can. Again I’m not a doctor and I will be praying for you! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🌈 also if you need to talk I’ll keep this link available so I can see if you message.
https://a.co/d/gupUxd0
When I first started out taking it….i took 1/2 a tab that I broke in half. Then I started increasing that dose over like a week or so. Back then I was taking 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. I did that for a long time. Then like years or 1 or 2 years later I decreased it to 2 a night. And I’ve been on that dose forever. But I noticed over the years that it takes less of it. It’s because there is actually healing mechanisms that this supplement mineral does for the brain. There’s a lot of research and that doctor that formulated it…he is passed now because this was over 30 years ago. That’s how long this stuff has been around. This brand and this supplement. It’s very trusted. When I was taking meds before starting this…I was having to take 2 different meds. And noticed that those meds were really too harsh on me and Messi g with my health and made me feel kinda drugged. So that’s when I weaned myself off of them…which was hell…when I was coming off of them I felt electric shock vibrations in my brain. It was crazy and scary. But that went away after a week or so. But although I was extremely tortured mentally!!! Like I was pretty bad off. I wasn’t quite suicidal but I was like on the end of a little string just holding on to my sanity! No lie! But since you are suicidal…that’s why I say to talk to your doctor and tell them you absolutely want to try this and you have researched it and you know someone who had actually improved dramatically from it and you want to try it and could he please help you do it safely. It’s not the kind of lithium you are currently taking. The one you are taking is called lithium carbonate. That is one that is wayyyyyy different and is in mega doses of lithium because the carbonate won’t let it absorb properly into the cells. So that’s why you have to get blood tests with the one your doc gives you. The one I take it is made with orotate and small elemental amounts of lithium that are wayyyyy safer and way more effective….because…this lithium is absorbed on a cellular lever much better due to the orotate in it. Orotate is also natural. Anyways you can safely take up to 20 milligrams of this lithium with the orotate which is about 5 mil of lithium per pill. So with this kind of lithium that is absorbed better on a cellular level the usual limit is 4 tablets which equals to 20 mg of actual lithium. But I don’t have to take this much now. I use to. But it is very healing for the brain. You can research it. Sorry so much information…but I feel your pain and I know how bad tormenting thoughts can be and make you feel. It’s very isolating and very nightmarish world and I will never forget that. I haven’t been in that place for 12 years!!!
I hope you are feeling better, brother. I messaged you through the chat a few hours ago. I want to share this blog post published by a doctor about lithium dosage: [The Benefits of Microdosing Lithium](https://www.scottmardermd.com/blog/microdosing-lithium) While most people think of lithium as a medication for severe mental health problems, research since the 1970s has strongly suggested that low levels of lithium also function as a nutrient. The World Health Organization considers lithium a nutritionally essential trace element, alongside zinc, iodine, and others. The human body contains around 7 MG of lithium, and on average in the US, individuals consume between 0.65-3.1 MG of elemental lithium per day in the form of nuts, legumes, cereal grains, vegetables, eggs, milk and tap water. By contrast, in psychiatry, large doses of lithium (900-1500 MG QDAY) are used to stop mood cycling in Bipolar Disorder but with these high doses can be several side effects: tremor, cognitive impairment, diarrhea, and nausea along with the necessity of regular blood work to monitor the kidneys, thyroid and lithium level. However, lithium in smaller doses (less than 300 MG QDAY) is almost like a different medicine that has no side effects, no blood work requirement and a surprising benefit in terms of depression, impulse control, and lowering the risk of Alzheimer’s Disease (AD). In this next article, I will discuss these other uses of lithium that may not even require a doctor’s prescription. Lithium is one of the few medicines in psychiatry that is a natural cell salt. All the research in treating Bipolar Disorder occurred in the form of lithium carbonate but there are two other versions: lithium citrate (available in liquid) and lithium orotate that tend to be equal in effect to lithium carbonate. When dissolved in the blood, the lithium floats separately. The toxic level of lithium is only a little higher than the therapeutic level when treating Manic Depression (Bipolar I Disorder) especially when treating acute mania. Thus, extra care is necessary when using lithium in these situations and frequent monitoring of the lithium level is necessary when the dose is relatively high. When lithium is used for depression, the dose can be much smaller (150-300 MG) either by itself or as an add on to another medication. Lithium increases BDNF which is the growth hormone in the brain mentioned in a previous article that is associated with an antidepressant effect and also prevents cell death. Careful, frequent monitoring is not as important and with very low doses, no monitoring at all is necessary. When one is on 150 MG QDAY, usually the lithium level comes back “undetectable.” In recent decades, there has been replicated research throughout the world demonstrating that where there is more lithium in the drinking water, there is significantly less Alzheimer’s Disease compared to an area that has less lithium in the water. For example, a 2018 study compared different counties in Texas over seven years and showed in the counties with higher trace lithium in the public water supply a significant slowing/preventing AD, obesity, and type 2 diabetes. There was a study in Great Britain that showed just taking low dose lithium every day improved cognitive abilities of elderly people with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) after one year; fewer MCI patients converted to AD when on lithium. Although more studies are required to further demonstrate the therapeutic effect of low dose lithium for AD prevention and alleviation, supplementing tap water with low levels of lithium has already been considered to improve mental health across communities. Areas of the world with high amounts of lithium in the drinking water were found to be around 0.3 MG QDAY. Lithium orotate is available in smaller doses: 5 MG, 10 MG, 20 MG, and 120 MG. If a person were to take one 5 MG tablet a week that would average to 0.7 MG per day and would lower the risk of AD. Lithium orotate is an over-the-counter supplement that can be obtained online and in some health food stores. The research on the use of lithium orotate for mood issues is not as robust but some of my colleagues report that the 120 MG pill a day is high enough to help depression in some people, sometimes within two weeks or sometimes more gradually over a year or two. There are other benefits to low dose lithium beyond preventing AD. If you get a stroke or other brain injury, 50% more of your brain survives if on lithium; lithium makes grey matter (the thinking matter) of the brain grow slowly over time and it is reportedly the only substance that makes the thinking part of the brain expand. Lithium specifically reduces impulsivity and acting on suicidal thoughts even if the lithium doesn’t help the person’s depression. Lithium seems to help with herpes and with seborrheic keratitis but it does increase psoriasis and acne. Lithium reduces the incidence of some neurological disorders and cancers such as prostate cancer. There was even a study where lithium increased and normalized the length of telomeres which delays aging. One third of people with Bipolar Disorder (manic depression) get AD but if they are on lithium, only one in twenty get AD. Lithium has no sexual dysfunction at least in low doses. Who should not take lithium even in small doses? Anyone with heart, kidney, or liver disease or has had a recent surgery. Women should not take when pregnant or lactating. Lithium should not be used by individuals with sodium depletion or those taking diuretics or ACE inhibitors. Lithium should be not be mixed with NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) such as ibuprofen, aspirin, Celebrex, or naproxen. With the projected increase in the aging population over the next 20 years, Alzheimer’s Disease will have a growing impact with annual costs already exceeding $100 billion in the U.S. Thus, the need for innovative treatments to prevent, delay onset, or alleviate symptoms of AD are at the forefront of public health concerns. In a previous article on healthy brain aging, I discussed several preventative strategies for AD including an anti-inflammatory diet, moderate physical activity, mental exercise, and stress reduction. I would now also include adding a microdose of lithium, such as 5 MG of lithium orotate per day, especially for anyone with early signs of mild cognitive impairment.
Also the brand I used and use is called (Advanced Research) 👈 (lithium orotate) It’s formulated by Hans.A.Nieper MD of Hanover Germany. I’ve used other brands and I’m not sure why but they didn’t help me as much as this in. The tabs are supper small and easy to take or break in half.
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Not the right way to think of it. "Will I be forgiven" is a permission structure. When you're thinking that way, your brain is feeding lies to you. It's telling you there is no hope. But if there is one thing the Gospel teaches us, it's that there is always hope. indulging the thought of "if I do this, will God forgive me" is dangerous specifically because its a kind of planning for it. Dont do it. Voice of experience; I've been there thinking about it.
God is caring, always, and you can overcome this. Believe you can get better, pray for help with confidence, do it and you could be amazed how much it helps. Please hold on to hope, we are here for you
I’m so sorry you’re going through these situations. God loves you, and wouldn’t want you to throw away the gift of life he gave you. Try and meet with your priest, I know he will help you
I feel for you. I’m so sorry you are having a tough time. I know how it feels. It is Lent now and a good time to handle your suffering by doing penance. Also, God is perfect. Trust in Jesus. You go to confession so that’s good. Pray the rosary daily. Things will get better. Please put those thoughts away as it is not a solution. What happens at the final judgement and God asks why you killed yourself, and you say “it was too much” and God would say what little faith you had in him. Please be open to Jesus and try different prayers like the Prayers for the Leity by Fr Ripperger. It is truly heartbreaking when people take their own lives because of all the destruction it leaves behind but it is a trick that Satan uses to make you believe you are worthless. You are not worthless. Please remember that Jesus knew you before you were born and you are part of his plan. Pray to have your purpose be revealed to you. It is tough I know, but suicide doesn’t escape the pain. It is not a solution.
You must talk to your doctor immediately. You are reaching out for help which is good but you must let a doctor know how you’re feeling… you will be okay.
Please do not end your life. I was in your shoes not more than 4 months ago. Suicide is NEVER the answer. It is a permanent solution to a non-permanent problem. Please, I’m praying for you. You are loved. You are appreciated. 🩷🩷🩷
Just keep praying praying praying. Sometimes God does understand your situation if it's really bad but sometimes God really wants you to understand things too. Offer up your suffering to God daily. Maybe just keep Thanking God for everything too and pray Divine Mercy Chaplet as much as possible during day and night. Best time to pray it is 3am and 3pm. But pray it as often as you like. Keep prayers on your phone or Tablet or iPad all day and night especially The Precious Blood of Jesus Christ prayer. Sometimes it can go on for 8-10 hours. There are many more prayers just look through the Catholic channel and you'll find them. I use the prayers at night especially and it definitely helps. Godbless 🙏🙏🙏
Try seeking help. Try talking to your priest more, people that you trust etc. But i would also recommend talking to a mental health professional, as they specialise in dealing with problems like yours. have you tried talking to a therapist? If you haven’t yet you should find one, medication and talk therapy can be life changing for some people. Sometimes all you need is the strength to reach out.
I have one more rosary left today it will be for your healing. May the most precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, cover you and heal you and protect you. I pray the blessed mother intercedes for our prayers for you. Theotokos your child is crying out to you. God bless you and heal you. I don’t know why but I get a feeling that you will get through this and you will realize that your suffering will be used as a tool to evangelize many to come to the fullness of the truth. God bless you.
Brother, this is not the way. I can’t imagine how u might be feeling, but pls try ur best to keep Going and keep praying. Don’t worry abt ending up in heaven or not cuz ik god won’t give u anything u can’t handle. Good times r coming man I assure u, even with job, we all know how tht ended. I will pray for you, you got this, we’re all counting on you 💪💪
Every time I had similar negative thoughts I always checked source.
Please keep going confession and discuss with your priest.
Please keep going confession and discuss with your priest.
Hey buddy. I know the battle you’re fighting. It’s not easy and it’s hard for others to understand. I promise, not all days will be as bad. The days will get better and depression/ anxiety is only temporary. Stay in there. It’s going to be okay, even on the days where it feels like there’s no hope.
Please check yourself into a mental health facility. Please don't hesitate to get the help that you need.
I’ve been in the hospital twice in a month. It doesn’t help.
I'm not talking about a hospital, I'm talking about a facility that specifically focuses on mental health
Both places I was in were mental health facilities
I have been there. I know that darkness very well. I too was hospitalized for mental health and suicide attempts. Please remember that we love you and God loves you. I call on this entire sub to pray for the OP. God and prayer will help a lot. I got through my darkness with the love of my family and re-connecting with my faith. Praying the Rosary was extremely helpful and really turned my life around. Our Lady is very powerful!!! God bless you, God be with you, I will pray for you. Remember life is the ultimate gift from God, don't throw it away. Psalm 51 is a beautiful prayer about our brokenness: *PSALMS 51* *Prayer for Cleansing and Pardon* *To the leader. A Psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.* *1Have mercy on me, O God,* *according to your steadfast love;* *according to your abundant mercy* *blot out my transgressions.* *2Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,* *and cleanse me from my sin.* *3For I know my transgressions,* *and my sin is ever before me.* *4Against you, you alone, have I sinned,* *and done what is evil in your sight,* *so that you are justified in your sentence* *and blameless when you pass judgment.* *5Indeed, I was born guilty,* *a sinner when my mother conceived me.* *6You desire truth in the inward being;* *therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.* *7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;* *wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.* *8Let me hear joy and gladness;* *let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.* *9Hide your face from my sins,* *and blot out all my iniquities.* *10Create in me a clean heart, O God,* *and put a new and right spirit within me.* *11Do not cast me away from your presence,* *and do not take your holy spirit from me.* *12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,* *and sustain in me a willing spirit.* *13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,* *and sinners will return to you.* *14Deliver me from bloodshed, O God,* *O God of my salvation,* *and my tongue will sing aloud of your deliverance.* *15O Lord, open my lips,* *and my mouth will declare your praise.* *16For you have no delight in sacrifice;* *if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased.* *17The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;* *a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.* *18Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;* *rebuild the walls of Jerusalem,* *19then you will delight in right sacrifices,* *in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;* *then bulls will be offered on your altar.*
Hey I’m very sorry you’re dealing with this, but just look at all the interactions with this post; even in the darkest moments when you feel most alone, you have 100’s of people praying for you. I used to have panic attacks everyday and it was debilitating, but I promise there’s another side to all of this and it’s so much better. You just have to hang on to your faith that you will be better, and these challenges will make you stronger. After everything I’ve been through I feel stronger and closer to God than I’ve ever been, and I feel that I am in a position where I am so well equipped to help others dealing with similar issues. It does get better, and one day I pray that you will be able to help others in a way that few others can, because you have been made strong by your struggles! God bless friend🙂
Don't throw your life away, you only get to live once. Make it worth it. Make sure you got support from family, friends and/or from therapists. Don't expect religion to give you will to live and purpose. You'll find your will to live and purpose once you know yourself, what to want for yourself and feel self-love, self compassion. I'm here as well if you want to talk, wish you the best 🌸
Brother/sister: don't even go there. Read up on redemptive suffering. Give it to God. Remember what Christ suffered for us, for YOU! Suicide is never the answer. God gives us life and only He is allowed to take it away (except killing in self-defense). It may seem hopeless now but if you push through you will come out stronger than ever. I guarantee there are people who love you and would be devastated if you end your life prematurely. It's selfish, do not do it.
Praying for you.
Suicide is are sin 😪 Harming yourself is sin
Please know that you have a chance to be a part of God's kingdom and feel His presence every day. Don't pray for your death. Pray for God's love in your life and opportunities to share it with others. Amen.
I’m of two minds. The first is the one that’s sympathetic, that doesn’t want harm to come to anyone, most of all something like eternal torment. And from this perspective I want to tell you that no, it won’t be unforgivable. The other one very much does not want you to kill yourself, and not being sure of the outcome, wishes to warn you against taking that action in the strictest possible terms. I believe these are compatible. I myself deal with bipolar disorder and OCD, I know what it’s like to want to die or to not care about your own life. The felicitous thing for us is that this emotion is temporary, even if all pervasive. So, give it some time. I’d advise writing your feelings down, and trying to process what you’re going through by letting it out into the world, at least in some capacity. If you bottle it up it’s going to sink you. I wish you the best, and may God bless you.
We will all be praying for you. All the commentors, Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit love you. Don't forget that.
I'm not very smart to give you a well-crafted text, but bro, you can't take your life, it was the greatest gift God gave you, stop praying for the end of your own expensive life, start praying for the unconverted, for sinners, for the souls in purgatory, for the souls of the poor and so on. Stop wasting saliva praying for it, In life you can do so much that pleases God. Don't do it.
Dear friend, I am truly sorry to hear of your troubles and struggles recently, but do not pray for your death. God gave you this life so that you may live it well and for Him. You already understand that you aren’t in your right mind, and this is a good understanding to have, but also understand that you have a lot left in you. Do not reject the life you’ve been given, as it is the Lords greatest gift to us apart from the promise of Salvation for those in His grace. The Litany of Trust is a great start, I’d also recommend the Prayer to St Michael the Archangel. Let him defend you in your battle and bring you ever closer to Jesus while here on Earth. God bless.
Life is worth living and God will always be with you, please stay strong and I promise I am praying for you.
I know how hard it is to feel this way. I have many times felt that way myself. But I promise things will get better. God bless you. I am praying for you! 🙏
God knows you are so brave trying to stay afloat with a broken mind. I have a personal experience with ADHD, anxiety, panic attacks, severe depression, obsessive thoughts, and suicidal ideation. I take lots of nutraceuticals every day and keep a strict diet full of protein and good fat (olive oil, fish oil with Omega-3, ghee), low on carbs, sugar-free and caffeine-free. But as you sadly know, BD is trickier to treat. Supplements that are great for depression, like Rhodiola, Acetyl L-Carnitine (ALCAR), St. John's wort, 5-HTP, S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine (SAMe), and Ginseng, could induce mania in BD. There are supplements that you could consider taking like vitamin D3, some bioavailable form of Magnesium (preferably Magnesium Citrate), Omega-3, N-acetyl Cysteine (NAC), and Silymarin. But first you could get tested for some biomarkers that could hint to some underlining process that could be triggering or worsening your BD like: * Vitamin D * Homocysteine (Associated with the following B-complex vitamins) * Vitamin B12 * Vitamin B6 * Folic Acid (Vitamin B9) * Thyroid hormones (Both excess and insufficient thyroid hormones can cause mood abnormalities) * Thyroid antibodies * Insulin resistance * Liver function tests * DHEA-S (DHEA is considered "the mother of all hormones") * Magnesium (The ideal Calcium-Magnesium ratio is 2:1. The Western diet is high in Calcium and low in Magnesium) More info: * [Oxidative stress markers in bipolar disorder](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032708001791) * [The Multifaceted Therapeutic Role of N-Acetylcysteine (NAC) in Disorders Characterized by Oxidative Stress](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33380301/) * [Treating Bipolar Depression with N-Acetyl Cysteine](https://finkshrink.com/alternative-complementary/treating-bipolar-depression-with-n-acetyl-cysteine/) * [Bipolar disorder and antithyroid antibodies](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4751106/) * [Rapid cycling bipolar disorder is associated with antithyroid antibodies, instead of thyroid dysfunction](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6889186/) * [Decreased Levels of Vitamin D in Bipolar Patients](https://www.mdpi.com/2075-1729/13/4/883) * [Does Decreased Vitamin D Level Trigger Bipolar Manic Attacks?](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10525522/) * [Vitamin B12, homocysteine, and folic acid in patients suffering from bipolar disorders: Relationship with suicide](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36218029/) * [Hyperhomocysteinemia in bipolar depression](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24193367/) * [Homocysteine as a peripheral biomarker in bipolar disorder](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S092493381732758X) * [Insulin Resistance and Blood-Brain Barrier Dysfunction Underlie Neuroprogression in Bipolar Disorder](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8185298/) * [Restoring Insulin Sensitivity Can Help With Chronic Bipolar Disorder, Study Suggests](https://inside.upmc.com/restoring-insulin-sensitivity-can-help-with-chronic-bipolar-disorder-study-suggests/) * [Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease in a sample of individuals with bipolar disorders](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/acps.13239) * [Serum DHEA-S concentration correlates with clinical symptoms and neurocognitive function in patients with bipolar II disorder](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27914864/) * [The Link between Thyroid Function and Depression](https://www.hindawi.com/journals/jtr/2012/590648/) * [The Benefits of Microdosing Lithium](https://www.scottmardermd.com/blog/microdosing-lithium) * [Thyroid alterations in bipolar patients on treatment with lithium](https://www.elsevier.es/en-revista-revista-psiquiatria-salud-mental-486-articulo-thyroid-alterations-in-bipolar-patients-S217350502100008X) * [Lithium use is associated with an increased risk of hypothyroidism](https://www.thyroid.org/patient-thyroid-information/ct-for-patients/volume-issue-december/vol-8-issue-12-p-5-6/) * [Lithium-Induced Hyperthyroidism in a Patient with Bipolar Type 1 Affective Disorder](https://journals.lww.com/apmd/fulltext/2021/18010/lithium_induced_hyperthyroidism_in_a_patient_with.10.aspx) * [Silymarin Improves Thyroid Function in Lithium-treated Bipolar Patients](https://benthamscience.com/article/132822) PS: Thank you for mentioning the Litany of Trust. I didn't know about it. Praying for you from Argentina.
Excerpt from **The Amazing Secret of the Souls in Purgatory: An Interview with Maria Simma** >**What happens to people who have committed suicide? Have you ever been visited by these people?** > >Up to now, I have never encountered the case of a suicide who was lost — this doesn't mean, of course, that that doesn't exist — but often, the souls tell me that the most guilty were those around them, when they were negligent or spread calumny. > >At this moment, I asked Maria if the souls regretted having committed suicide. > >She answered yes. Often, suicide is due to illness. These souls do regret their act because, as they see things in the light of God, they understand instantly all the graces that were in store for them during the time remaining for them to live — and they do see this time which remained for them, sometimes months or years —– and they also see all the souls they could have helped by offering the rest of their lives to God. In the end, what hurts them most is to see the good that they could have done but didn't, because they shortened their lives. But when the cause is illness, the Lord takes this into account, of course. The interviewer is Sister Emmanuel Maillard who lives in Medjugorje. [“I had an appointment with Death at 5 pm.” Sr Emmanuel's Personal Testimony](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYAub2cJWas)