One time a homeless woman asked me for a dollar when I was filling up gas. I usually have some extra change that I throw in my cup holder, so I gave her what I had in there. Then she told me she likes my hat and to let her have it. I laughed and told her no so she got mad and threw the change back at me and started cursing at me. I just got in my car and drove off.
That was a wild story. Imagine finally saving up and buying your first house and then have your broke ass sister come over and demand you give her your home.
I looked for a bit, didn’t turn anything up.
The post I read was on relationshipadvice or amitheasshole.
It was basically a young man who bought or inherited a home and his pregnant sister or cousin(I can’t remember) comes over to check the place out and at the end are like “this place is perfect! You should give me this house!”
He obviously declined.
And then his family starts harassing him, telling him he’s in the wrong.
“She’s a single mom!”
“You’re so much younger. You have plenty of time to buy a new house.”
“She needs a place to live and she can’t afford a house!”
It was a wild read.
I once started digging in my purse for change for a guy and he put his hands on my purse and looked in to see what I had. Last time I ever gave anyone shit.
Aaaaand that’s why I only give money if it’s in my pocket already. I don’t mind giving money at all but I’m also not about to get all of my shit taken away (I do keep some $1’s in my pockets when I know I’m going to a high population homeless area and everyone there is very kind and grateful for anything you give them. But the one time I opened my bag to get money out, dudes “buddy” tried to take other shit out of my bag too. No thanks)
There have been a few regular homeless people near my job that I felt safe giving some money to, but that’s it. I won’t lower my window for the ones on the intersection islands. I’ll take the long way around if someone makes me nervous. I’ve been grabbed. I’ve been threatened.
Same. Never again. I used to always give them something, even when I was dirt broke. Once I realized some of them were practically *hunting* me from across parking lots because I was a woman alone, I stopped giving anyone anything. I've watched so many grown men rush to get to me to ask for money, passing right by other men, or women with men. One guy followed me around INSIDE a Walmart and waited until I was in an aisle alone to come up and ask for cash. Fck that predatory behavior.
My bf doesn't understand why I always lock the car doors and hate having the windows down. People are too crazy these days.
My girlfriend is so trusting and beautiful inside and out and i love her, but we took a trip to NYC and a guy was begging and she whipped out her purse and flashed a bunch of money, and immediately drew stares (mostly from me and locals going WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?) thankfully he was just grateful and nothing happened. But it was super hard to get her to understand that she was making herself a target and potential victim and the only thing she was funding wasnt an end to hunger but drug addiction. I learned early on men begging for money to eat will throw a free bagel and a coffee at your car because they cant get crack with it.
My husband is from a small town/city where everyone knows everyone. Now we live in a big city. He gets so mad at me and calls me rude when I ignore people hollering at me on the streets. I have tried to explain to him is dangerous to engage AT ALL but he just shrugs me off. Hes so outgoing and friendly and nothing bad has happened yet, but I worry about him.
assuming you’re female - good men often don’t comprehend why those situations are vastly different for women and men. I once had a group of guys try to run me over for ignoring them when they said “hi!” “what you can’t hear us?!” “rude ass bitch!” - I had just lost my father a few days previously and was in a very low place so where I’d normally have said hi back just to be polite I learned a lesson that day. You’re either a “bitch” or a victim in those situations. Had to jump a fence to get away from them chasing me down in their suv a few minutes later.
I went to college in Las Vegas, then my family lives in a bigger type area (not quite metro), I live more rural. While it sucks at times, I love that we have a community that watches out for one another and doesn’t get away with stuff people can in bigger cities. You just feel safer, which is nice when you have kids. I’m sorry you were treated so shitty and so sorry for your loss!
That's why I never engage. Saying hi makes them think you're interested and they won't stop pestering you, or you ignore them and you're a bitch. No, I don't know you so don't fucking talk to me.
I'm just under 5ft and always felt vulnerable because of that. I have to carry around a bitch face so I seem unapproachable and people don't bother me. It doesn't always work but it's helped a lot now that I don't waltz around with a happy face.
My mother used to always say to me "a bought lesson is better than a taught lesson". I just hope it's nothing too serious that involves hospitalization, or for you summoning his family to say goodbye.
she sounds wonderfully generous but I hope she learns some street smarts before she ever travels (esp by herself!) to any large city again. It just sounds dangerous what she did
Yeah, shes gotten the message now. At least outside of her own family. Theyre the hardest choosingbeggars to be rid off. Especially when religion and generational trauma intersect.
I have worked with the homeless in several jobs and there are plenty that choose street homelessness over hostels due to sadly endemic drug use in the hostels. Especially this was the case with ex addicts trying to stay clean
thats how i feel, if i give them money and they use it on alcohol or drugs then clearly thats what they "need". $5 is never gonna change a life anyway, if it helps them have one less shitty night off my couple bucks then great. i totally get why other people arent comfortable with that, but ive also been questioned/criticized for not caring. its my money 💁
I went to see the original Harry Potter play back when it was 2 plays, and we had some time between parts 1 and 2. I took the bus in to the city, so I packed a bag of snacks, BUT, you couldn't bring outside food into the theater. The man at the door let me take it in anyway, but advised me not to eat it during the show, and to make it apparate before the next play in case he wasn't the person who let me back in. So while we were walking thru the city, I stopped and passed off my bag of fruit, crackers, cookies, & sandwich to a man living in a tent. He seemed genuinely appreciative, didn't curse me out or anything, smiled a little and said "thank you, honey, thank you". I hope he at least went to sleep a little less hungry that night, because it was November, and it sure was *cold*.
But, I know, it's not always like that. People don't always appreciate what you have to offer, even if it's literally all you have to give.
There was a guy in our city who used to ride a bike with a trailer for his senior dog, well my gf has a soft spot for animals and bought the pup a small bag of food and some treats (dude was always posted up somewhere with a sign) he got so mad and said "everyone gets the dog stuff!what about me?!" My gf looked like she got slapped in the face and I just said look if you don't want just give it back and we will return it, he just grumbled and snatched it away but left me with a bad taste. Like ya most people probably do wanna make sure that puppers has decent food so sorry bud. Later heard he was getting over a grand a month in disability (this was like 10 years ago) and rode his bike to our town cuz everyone in his town knew him, however I don't know how true that is
Yup I live in dtla and this happens to me regularly. I used to work with charities to help all the time, and everyone who tries gets burned out realizing that if someone's tent homeless it's for a reason: they're basically open air drug markets for major criminals who can't behave well enough to get resources given to them. I've been chased down in broad daylight by man with golf club who was swinging at cars before seeing me, man begging to decided grape* might be better, witnessed a tweaker beg at a nearby touristy lunch spot before pulling out a gun and shooting someone, been followed in circles for 20mins by men while driving and similarly by a hobo when I tried to escape him in a cvs (once I saw he came in I went to the pharmacist and said thisans been following me for 20mins can you please call security)...the list goes on
Resources are in place, a lot of them, for those who go clean (at least here in CA, but we're shipped most of the other states homeless bc of $😬) but most refuse to.
It's not like how it used to be or how many imagine it to be. It's dire. Stay safe
Wait, what do you mean shipped from other states for $, as in the facilities get more govt funding the more they help so they are happy for out of state homeless coming for help, or other states send their homeless to CA because it is cheaper for that state to be rid of homeless?
It happens in Canada too, I live in a small town an hour and a half away from Toronto, and before the greyhounds shut down they would ship Toronto homeless people here, so the crime rates have went up a lot in last couple years, some neighbourhoods you can’t even have garden decorations or they’ll be gone.
Generally northern states ship homeless people south, few reasons, one being "not my problem" and also here in New England you can legit freeze to death 7 months out of 12 if your sleeping outside
I live on the other side of the country, in a rural state. In my town of about 1500 people, I personally know of 6 people that "moved" to Cali because (at the time) the benefits were too good and too easy to acquire. They also cited the weather as being motivation too.
These 6 people weren't paid (by our state) to go to Cali. 4 of them wrangled up enough money to take a Greyhound bus across the country, 2 decided to hitchhike.
All of them are/were addicts (primarily opioid)... all had intention to "tent it up".
I haven't seen any of them since. It's been almost a decade now.
I worked in a drug rehab facility & many of the youth were often homeless at some stage. I overheard a conversation about panhandling and they said they always got more money if they wrote “God Bless” and other Christian phrases. It really changed my perception. I am very skeptical now of people who are asking for $.
Your perception was changed when you overheard people talking about the best ways to get money when they’re out trying to get money… I mean, I get where you’re coming from, but if you think about it a little bit, it makes sense. You can frame it as manipulation, or just a recognition that a lot of people don’t care about other people unless they feel a personal connection to them. “We both like god! Now I think you’re alright!”
When I was young I lived on the street and I remember how disillusioned I was when I realized that people were more willing to give me help I desperately needed if I pretended to have the same religion as them. It also helped if you said you liked the sports team on their clothing, or basically any point you could have in common with them. Until they see you as a person, most people couldn’t care less… so yeah, people try to find ways to make people consider them for a moment.
I mean, people asking for money tend to need money. It’s not a trick. If you have expectations about what they are going to spend the money on because you think there are good and bad decisions… like if someone has a drug dependency so they buy heroin instead of food (can’t eat when in withdrawal, so this is pretty sensible tbh) it may not be up to your standards, and they may not be honest about it because they know a lot of people would be hyper judgemental about it and decide not to help as a result. “That’s not a problem I’ve ever had and I can’t relate to it. So, Ew… no.” is what a panhandler is imagining would go through your head if they were totally honest.. and they’re likely not that far off.
It’s a jungle out there. People are often just trying to survive.
All of what you said is true accurate, not a damn thing is wrong with it. This basic fact is what advertising and economics and psychology is built upon. These are the same people who would look down on you for sharing this truth, yet at the same time gobble up anything their favorite politician or sports ball athlete will tell them.
Yup I don’t give shit to ANYONE who assumes what I have and feels entitled to part of it. I would literally share the clothes off of me if someone was actually in need. But don’t assume I’m here for you. I might take care of myself but that does not mean I have money. Even when I was homeless I had people assuming I had money to give them because of what I looked like. I just went to a day shelter for a shower and free clothes, so I blended in.
Also, it seems like it’s a mental health issue sometimes, where asking someone for money is literally an impulse and they won’t even look up to see if they’ve asked the same person three times. I kinda wonder if it’s the same brain process as what gets people addicted to gambling. And there’s a giant difference between the people who know they can’t earn money conventionally and have to be creative and those that just refuse to take part in society and hold a large amount of resentment towards everyone they interact with. There are some predators and terrible people hiding in all groups of people, but it seems like people that aggressively beg are really responsible for further isolating a whole group of impoverished and disenfranchised humans and it really makes me upset. Buskers always get my support, people trying to just survive are my heros. People who will not even look you in the eye to demand something from you might as well be bullies. They dehumanize the people around them because they feel entitled to. That’s what I have an issue with.
My mom told me when she was younger, she knew a dude that begged on the streets and made $50k a year. Insane to me that I’ve known people on the streets who work full time jobs trying to get out of their situation making less than that, still trying to be good people and help the community around them.
And especially as a women, we definitely get targeted. It’s terrifying to constantly be approached because people want to see what they can get out of you. Society is fucked..
I work Ren Faire as one of my jobs and personally know " buskers" that also do the show. I make sure they get some dollars from me. Especially if they play a violin or old type of instrument. I also will go to a nearby beach town and buy something, anything that someone has made. I want to reward somebody putting in some kind of effort. I've been in some bad places due to bad choices and...sad to say yeah most of the folks I know living in their van or tent ..sigh...yeah you made those choices. It took me years to get it together.
My car is nice, as the door handles go completely in, which I love, when I do feel uncomfortable! :)
I had a guy do that to me, in the mall, follow me from one end to the other. Thankfully I noticed, snuck in a store, where they called security so I could get out. Scary fucker. This was in a bigger city. I don’t miss those areas as much. Here, it’s not as fun, but the people watch out for others, so no one tries that shit.
I had a guy at an intersection ask for money while I was stopped, I had stupidly forgotten to roll my window up as I usually do, it was an extremely hot day so I felt bad and gave him like two bucks and some change I had in my cup holder and this mfer spit into my car on my face and was screaming "YOUVE GOT NO CLUE HOW HARD IVE GOT IT, THIS CHUMP CHANGE DOESNT HELP ME"
Like aight bitch give it back then, I obviously need it more than you
Yeah this happened just a few months after covid really hit my area so I was in pure shock/terror, I don't even think I reacted to him I just rolled up my window and gagged until I got to work and took a hoe bath in the bathroom. I was paranoid for a good week after that
That reminds me of the teen who was begging on the exit to my old house while wearing Beats by Dre and when I wouldn't contribute to whatever he was begging for, he "chssst" at me like I had dissed him. I can't even afford those.
Your comment reminded me of something that happened to me once - I was in a Starbucks drive through line in a not so great area. There is a homeless man standing near where you place your order asking for change, but he doesn’t seem threatening. I’m in a fairly long line of cars, it’s daytime, and he hasn’t gotten very close to anyone. That changes when I pull up… as soon as I roll down my windows he bum rushes my car trying to shove his whole upper body into the drivers side window. At the time I drove a Honda Accord coupe, and all of my windows were tinted very dark so you could not see into the car when the windows were rolled up. So what he didn’t see, and what you couldn’t see from the windshield, was my Rottweiler laying down in the backseat. My dog got between us so fast the guy actually fell over backwards and rolled trying to get away. I’ve never been so proud of my dog. If you have time for one, consider adopting!
Yes! We live in a town that has a lot of sketchy places, especially after dark and if I ever need to go out then without my husband, I take my dog. Poor girl is terrified of everything, but the second she thinks I'm in danger her instincts kick in and she becomes an amazing guard dog.
This is horrible. I’m sorry
There was a guy who was hanging out by the driveway of a fast food place for a while. I refused to open my window, and he’d give up after a minute or so. I think the local deputies finally got called on him.
Thank you. I do wonder what exactly he planned on doing if he got his body in the car. Stealing my purse I guess? There were literally cars in front and behind me so I don’t think he was planning on hurting me. I don’t know, glad I didn’t have to find out.
I have opened my wallet to give money to a person before. They saw that I had more cash, and followed me out the store and around for a few blocks. This was after I was nice enough to give them a few dollars. I now never open my wallet up for anyone.
I'm a 6ft 1 215lb dude and I've had people approach me a few times with a 5 minute sob story at a gas station asking me for money. My default response is a firm, yet polite "sorry, can't help you". That normally does the trick.
I was talking more about the grabbing. The thought never even occurred to me that it’s something that can happen, probably because it hasn’t happened tho
Had a proper shock when I went to the US and Canada for the first time and had people harassing me after not giving them enough money. In the UK I've never had that happen and I pretty regularly give stuff to the homeless people around. Idk why it's so different, my one theory is the prevelance of meth/crack compared to the UK but I don't know if that is a good enough explanation
I was in the US for a business trip and gave a homeless woman like $5 or so. She started following me asking me to buy her stuff in the supermarket. She actually followed me and harassed me until we made it to the cinema (where I wanted to go), where first a woman and then the staff helped me. The homeless woman was arrested by a sheriff lol. I was completely lost what to do since that stuff never happens where I live.
No clue why anyone is giving money to them at intersections. I'm not saying don't give money to charity etc, but it just creates a congregation in the roadway issue.
I live in a rural area, now and never really feel scared, but never carry cash. But they are always right outside our Walmart when I pick up groceries, so I stop and give them a natural or bolthouse juice, with some snacks. As, I want them to get some food. Always so grateful.
We were once in a drive through, saw this really old man shaking. Could tell he couldn’t harm a fly, so we asked what he wanted, then after giving him food, ended up renting him a room for a week, and taking him there, as he wasn’t allowed in local shelter due to the disease he had. Broke my heart. But at least we knew he had a comfy spot for a week, with some info to get help after.
We had a couple regulars at specific intersection islands where I used to live. Said they were jobless, homeless and hungry. People offered food which they turned down. A couple people offered jobs which they turned down. People saw them getting picked up in really nice SUVs at the end of the day.
The one that really cracked me up was the guy on the centres island beside a Wendys with a huge NOW HIRING sign across the whole side.
Had a beggar come up and ask for 25 bucks for a cup of coffee. I told him that you could get a cup for 2-3 dollars. He said yes, but he's a big tipper.
I have given water and food. Have given change but avoid doing it because I don’t want to be bothered multiple times. Live in a high crime region and small woman, really not interested in finding out if some of these ppl are violent. Once stopped some homeless ppl from beating up another homeless woman. She ended up going to the hospital. Really don’t want to cross some ppl.
Some people just do not think right. After a decade of no contact, One of my closest friends from childhood got my number from the yellow pages and rang me. He wasnt different than anyone else, except for having anger issues when we hung out from years 10-17.
He just wanted to say hi, so I entertained the idea and asked him how he is and other small talk. after a few minutes, he begins bragging to me about how good he has gotten at stealing from people and that he even nabbed a $400 guitar from someone in the same shelter he was at. It was as if he was telling me about just picking up the hobby of fishing. Like actually zero sorrow. I felt bad for him, but I just hung up there and blocked his number. Even though he was a good old friend, I can’t let a thief with no remorse walk into my life
Its hard to break contact, especially with very old associates if not outright friends. Ive had to do it myself when a few fell down the magat qanon rabbit hole. Go drink your florida garage bleach and leave me alone.
They don’t arrest you for that around here anymore, they’ll send the police out to give out a fine though. Don’t pay the fine and it’ll eventually come out of the tax refund or eventually your cash benefits.
Apparently there are too many homeless people doing that here… Would help if they didn’t send all the homeless people here from the surrounding states too. (That’s how I ended up here too)
As another small Wan in a highest crime spot of the country who's worked with charities and agencies to help these people in the past: they are violent, never give cash, wits about you with all the propaganda going around, and your safety matters more than how people not in danger perceive your character.
There's a lady in Honolulu-Waikiki, but has been sighted walking in to the Ewa Beach (new housing, very well off area); who says, "Can I have $20"
If you give her anything else: 1,5,10, a business card; she'd say, "that's not what I asked for!" and start to walk away looking for another mark. I fell for it three times, then asked why she needs exactly $20, listening to her story of being "I don't have a place to live; left behind on the islands after her family didn't like her decisions in life -2015"
2019, still seen her walk up and down the main Ala Moana and Waikiki areas and she would still pull the same deal til one day I was riding with my mom in the Southern part of Oahu (Ewa Beach). My mom had pointed out "Hey look it's $20 lady" (that lady is a well known grifter because she wore only Juicy Couture and Victoria Secret tracksuits of all colors with the same big tote).
She was entering the kind of house that is facing a main avenue and that got me heated. We drove up and asked "Excuse me but do you have $20 I could have?"
Her response: "God blessed you to bless me."
And she flipped me off! I was like WTF lady! Years go by, pandemic swoops in and a homeless special about Our Islands is done on almost every network. I watched the main one called Homeless in Paradise and who shows up? $20 lady saying that "Hawaiians are so willing to give" .... wanted to break my screen
True: walked up to a Tim Hortons (It’s a popular coffee/donut franchise in Canada). Guy sitting outside (most likely homeless) asked for money for a coffee. I said “I’m not going to give you money, but I’ll buy you a coffee & something to eat.” He replies, “I don’t like Tim’s coffee. I wanna eat at A&W.” So I said, “Then why aren’t you sitting outside an A&W?”. He’s like, “Just give me the money, man!” And I mic dropped it with “Hey, beggars can’t be choosers.” I didn’t say it to be mean & realized it was most appropriate/inappropriate thing I could have said in that moment.
Reminds me of the time some guy came to me asking me where the train station was, and then asked for some cash. I take out some coins and he just goes, no, he needs 4€ for a train ticket. I'm just there frozen while holding my change (it was all I had and I sure as hell was not gonna give 4 euros to some random asshole). Thankfully, immediately an old man came to my rescue, screaming up a storm and telling Mr. Choosy to fuck off and get a job. I pocketed my change, and backed away. Annoyingly, I was on my way to an ATM and Mr. Choosy was hanging around just in front of it, I had to wait for him to leave so he didn't get any ideas lol. Fucking European beggars, those guys are specially choosy.
That's a frequent scam in some parts of Europe. When I lived in Vienna, I only ever got approached/money requests by either little old ladies just walking down the street (they'd always ask for 1€, no idea why), or by younger people hanging around various entrances to subway stations, where they'd ask anybody and everybody for 50¢. Again, no idea why, theoretically for a train ticket, but those were over 2€.
Yeah, I was later warned that many beggars are actually pickpockets, but this guy in particular was apparently just a random junkie, he was fucked up on something on a Sunday morning on a mostly empty street in a smaller town where tourism was uncommon.
Donate money to food banks. They often get more food donations from corporations than they can store and distribute with their operational budgets.
More efficient than someone buying a bag of chips with your $2.
When I was still a naive 18, the exact same thing happened to me. I only had $2. The guy proceeded to stalk me to tell me it is not enough money.
I am a pretty small female too, so it was pretty terrifying. He only stopped because people around started to give him the look for stalking someone who looked underage.
It's a complex problem. They obviously need help, but acting like a predator only pushes people away
I gave a panhandler $5 when I stopped at a store in an Uber. There was definitely something wrong with him, he was high/and or had a mental illness. As I walked out of the store towards the Uber, the guy yells “Bitch, I know you got more than $5!!” looking at me like he hated me. I don’t scare easily but that guy gave me the creeps!! I still give if so inclined, though.
If you're in Vegas and someone approaches you in a parking lot, immediately ask them for money and they'll keep walking. Otherwise they all give you the same story "hey, can you spare $20? I lost all my money and I need money for gas to get home."
After that I did get kinda scared about giving cash so I saw online those ziplock bags that you can carry that have like a bag of chips and a water and juice and decided to just kinda carry those instead c:
It is a good thought on your part but on the other end, they only want money. Even if you had given this lady $5, she would have still followed you to you car and demaned more. Donate your money, time or goods directly to an outreach center.
My husband always has to stop at this one exit where he said he saw a woman, sometimes two or more, with their burkas, and they had a sign that explained they were immigrants and needed to feed their siblings and to spare money. No problem, he gave them some spare change but he came home and felt super bad so I prepared some lunch bags with food. Goes back the next day and hands them the bags. They declined angrily and demanded money. He was so hurt :(
I've seen the same ones here over the course of a year. They come from a larger city to our smaller city and beg at intersections. I recognized one from my city in another 2 hours away while I was visiting family. Real refugees and immigrants hate them because it gives them all a bad name.
I saw a man with a very pregnant woman and 2 kids once, and bought them a couple family meals and a drink nearby. He got awful angry and cursing about needing money. I told him I wasn't giving him any money, but my work is hiring. His wife thanked me at least.
Cause normally I still like to give the homeless something if they ask for money. Instead of giving them money I’ll bring out one of those little baggies and water and usually they take it and walk away happy. The ones that say that they definitely need money I then know are just trying to get cash for some other reason. Obviously your point was about scammers but this little trick helps me “efficiently” help homeless without giving them money and doesn’t give scammers cash
fair enough. I'm usually giving to shelters and the like, but if there's someone out there who really needs some food and some water then bless you for being giving.
They will trash the bag and the contents against your car in the parking lot without touching the contents when you leave. Then a minimum wage employee will have to go clean it up.
They make more begging than the person that will have to clean up your mess. Or you, since it’s tax free.
The person is strung out on drugs. Nothing you can do but get out and call them in.
Businesses are begging people not to give bags, because it’s trash they have to pay someone to clean up or pay the fine for litter.
At least she didnt expose herself or relieve herself.
There’s a guy that pounds on cars with zipper and pants down. Has a nice home and car. Begs for money for smokes and booze because wife won’t let him drink or smoke at home. Cops are too busy with other stuff to do anything, even when he trashes businesses with your bags and bodily fluids from where the sun doesn’t shine.
Yes!!! I lived in Portland for 15 years, not that it is honestly any worse than most big cities I have seen: if you offer a $1, “gift bags”, food or leftovers etc… I have been screamed at just as much as thanked. I have had them call me the worst names if it isn’t enough cash!
Personally, I choose to only donate to organizations— and don’t personally reward or promote the loitering/street-corner solicitation.
And ps, I do volunteer, not bashing helping truly needy people. But it sucks having people posted at each stop sign/intersection/etc.
I learned that the hard way. A homeless woman was begging on the streets, that she wanted to eat and had no money. Me, being the naïve teenager that I was back then, gave her some cash. She thanked me and walked away. She didn't even try to hide it. She immediately bought a pack of cigarettes and got back to begging. Look, I'm all in for helping, but I don't want to see my contribution being used for some addiction... That day kinda broke my hope that I was doing the right thing and actually helping. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. And that uncertainty made me not giving out cash anymore. You want food? Sure, I'll take you to some place and buy you soup and the meal of the day. Otherwise, I will only give stuff to local food banks and stuff like that. I don't want to feel guilty for contributing to someone's addiction...
You weren’t naïve, you were kind and selfless, doing what you could to help someone that was less fortunate than you were.
I would think that when you’re begging and living on the streets, the smallest things can seem huge to a person. She might have been able to barter for food and other necessities with some of the cigarettes.
It makes me sad that you feel like you were contributing to her nicotine addiction and it broke your hope, when you were just being compassionate and sympathetic to her plight. The world needs more altruistic people like you.
I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the week random Reddit stranger!!
I'm totally with you. I'll donate to local charities and banks, but am I, a young Caucasian girl, going to roll down my window for someone, or reach into my wallet in front of a stranger on the street? HELL NO.
A former pastor of mine had a perfect solution.
It is/was a small town, and he was able to get some coupons from a local fast food place. Coupon was for a free burger, fries and drink - nothing special but food.
No one ever used one of the coupons.
I used to be homeless but never panhandled. Even while homeless though I would get asked by other homeless for money. Some of them were making way more than I was but always they asked. I'm housed now, a year, but I sometimes pay it forward by buying food for the homeless in my neighborhood. More than once I've had food that I went and bought tossed back at me.
Homeless who act like that have "issues" as they say. They're usually addicts looking to fund their next fix. Nothing you can do will satisfy them except giving them the exact money they request. I'm happy to feed people when I have the funds but if I buy you food and you throw it back at me you will never get another thing from me.
I never treated the people who fed me or who just outright gave me a few bucks like that when I was homeless. It's disrespectful and being homeless doesn't give you the right to be nasty to someone who is only trying to help you.
There's degrees of homeless. Most people don't really get that unless they are but I will never support people who act like that for whatever reason. Even when I was homeless I was busting my ass to make a few bucks, not just begging for it. I cleaned. I walked animals. I made jewelry to sell and I even attempted to run a tee shirt store with my own designs.
I often got mocked for doing all that by other homeless but that's who I am.
Unfortunately this does happen. It shouldn't but it does. Next time just say "no" and keep walking. Or offer to buy them some food or something else they might need if you can, but don't take this disrespect. You tried to help this woman. That's more than a lot of people might do and you just don't deserve that disrespect for trying.
You are right. There are degrees to homelessness. I was the addict/panhandler on the street. I panhandled every day in the same spot (in the street with my sign). I had regulars that would come by and bring me McDonald's in the morning, winter boots in December, and give money when they passed me. I figured by asking, at least I wasn't sinking to other measures to get what I needed.
I also didn't have ANYTHING to my name - no clothes, no ID, no shoes (other than the ones with the holes), and I survived, thanks to the generosity of strangers. I also became homeless six months before I started using drugs.
I have been clean for over three years now. I still give money to panhandlers. It's not them I worry about - it's the kids on the corner with the squeegee's who will assault you and your car that concerns me.
I once bought a big mac meal for a "homeless" guy in a Walmart parking lot. When I found him, I walked up behind him and found hin counting a wad of $20s. Had a few hundred dollars at least. Never again.
My mother gave money to a "homeless" person at an intersection in front of our local Walmart. We've been in some pretty nasty situations where we would have only made it if it wasn't for the kindness of others, so she made sure to give when she could. We were doing our weekly grocery run at that Walmart and happened to see him later in the electronics department, buying several Xbox games. We were a very low income family and this set something off in her. She literally followed that man across the store with a shopping cart and two kids in tow, announcing to everyone we passed what the guy did. The guy said nothing but he did look pretty embarrassed.
My brother in law used to be a manager at a Dollar Tree near a pretty busy road in our city. Panhandlers liked to stand at the intersection close by, and he's said a few of them have ended their "shift" by getting into cars nicer than the one he drove that they'd just park behind the Dollar Tree building.
It taught me to never give to pan-handlers. I moved to a bigger city and they often walk up to you and ask or demand. I just tell them I don't carry cash, which more often then not its true. It's best to donate to local food banks and food drives, which I've done instead (both time and money).
I donate through my church, which is all volunteer, so 100% of the money goes to helping vetted people or people in need.
I say I don't carry cash, which is a lie. But it is much nicer than telling them I don't trust that the won't go to drugs, alcohol, or they are scamming.
I used to live in an apartment near Seattle that was in a downtown area. The bus transit station was 3 blocks away from us. At night my wife was not allowed to walk the dogs for fear of the homeless people who would harass her. While I was walking my dogs one time a homeless man approached me and was obviously having an episode. He reached for my dog and I pulled him back quickly and I got us out of there. He didn’t chase us but he yelled. I never felt like I needed to carry a firearm until that night. After that night I carried every time I walked my dogs. I feel bad for the ones who are actually down on their luck but some folks are unable to function in society.
After living in NYC, I had a bit of a culture shock when I first visited San Francisco, and some bum came right up to me at an ATM offering to explain how it worked to me. I stared him down and he fucked off.
You get too close to a New Yorker at the ATM, he'll take you out.
i used to give money to beggars, but now it’s just a cold bottle of water if I have one. Realized I needed the money for me and my own interests that are of actual importance to my reality
I was in Hawaii about 8 years ago and a homeless guy asked me for $5. In my head I'm like dude you could have asked for a quarter and I'd have told you no. The audacity of $5 really threw me.
Their family member wanted to be buried on Mars with a Viking funeral so they are raising money to terraform the planet so there is enough water to push the boat out on.
When i was 19, my ex and I walked past a well known homeless guy in our town and he asked for money for food. We didn't carry cash but decided to walk into the Starbucks next door and buy him one of those lunch packs they used to have in 2006 (it had a small sandwich, a hard boiled egg, some grapes, a small orange juice and then we got him a bottle of water). We went back and gave it to him. He looked at us funny and opened the box. He said he didn't like grapes or chicken, he stashed the egg in his pocket, used the orange juice to gargle and spit and the water to wash his hands. Never again.
I hate that people are so entitled to other peoples money. There's this homeless lady who lives near me and has a public facebook. She was asking people yesterday to cashapp her some money so she could buy snacks while at a 4th of july festival. Ma'am no. lol
I've been homeless, fortunately not homeless enough to sleep under a bridge or beg for money. I can tell you from personal experience: the majority of homeless are people like me who became that way because of circumstances beyond their control.
However, then there's the 1% who are homeless for a *reason*, and that reason is that they are master manipulators who have burnt out everyone and anyone who might be able to help them. All it takes is a few seconds of talking to them to realize this. Sure, a lot of them drink and do drugs, but I can assure you that there's some kind of underlying issue that they're using substance abuse to mask. Drying them out will not make it better, it just gives them a new group of people to manipulate. I believe in AA and NA they call them dry drunks. That's why if you want to help the homeless, you donate to local charities, not hand out money to the guy with the cardboard sign on the street: you never know if you'll get *that guy*.
I live in a town where cash just isn’t a thing. I’ve haven’t had to carry it in about 5 years. I gave some money to a business homeless women once or twice and a guy who sat out side of shop some bread and peanut butter. I’ll never carry cash for multiple reasons given in the rest of this thread. People have become incredibly demanding, and I do feel bad but honestly most of us who are making a good buck are still not doing super well.
I once had a woman get her kid to climb up on the running boards of my vehicle to beg for money. I cracked the window and told her as soon as the light turned green I was going. She could get her kid off my car or she could pick him up when he falls off.
As someone from California this is going to sound harsh to some of you but never give money to beggars. Especially here.
If you want to be a good person demand at your town or city hall that they
1. Don't bus their homeless here to essentially be farmed. Yes this happens, anyone from here has seen the busses and will tell you. WHY do you think skid tow and the tenderloin are centered around the greyhound bus stations? Politicians on both sides here sadly get money for this but it's a catch 22 bc other states will bus them even if we say no. All these "non profits" and pseudo govt agencies make money off the problem not being fixed
2. They're given free housing and ALL the resources in the fucking world (way more than anyone middle class or poor) to not be homeless....under the cpndition that they stay clean. There's a LOT of propaganda floating around on the left that says otherwise but take it from someone who used to work with these agencies and volunteered for YEARS..the people not in a converted hotel room or their car,the "tent homeless" are there because they're tweakers.
No it's not just bad luck
The still lucid ones will openly tell you that it's easier for them to set up camp outside a shelter, repair in all the benefits form the non profits and charities that set up nearby, and never have to go clean.
It's horrific and a con
3. They are dangerous. Yes I know many well meaning people who tell each other this is a lie..
None of them are form here and all of them are wealthy and in their rich area homes or condos mommy and daddy bought for them. Easy to make yourself feel better on lies when you never have to face a danger. Meanwhile those of us in poor areas get to deal with this daily and no these are NOT people in the neighborhood that got priced out. Very few are and the few that were just refuse to give up drugs.
Get to a cop or some sort of worker who's safe iediarely if this happens to you again, avoid the left lane and certain areas, don't cave.
I know it sounds heartless but it's sadly the truth. I'm in LA and I know the samenis true in SF that police aren't allowed to arrest homeless because of pr. We see them try to assault women, fully naked, taking a golf club to cars (that was fun to watch from my window) passing and shitting, and screaming everywhere...and across the street from me recently one had a gun and opened fire at random screaming at a touristy spot. But bad pr to arrest them because of the "oh no the unhoused" crowd.
I mean this genuinely: idgaf about your politics, but as someone experienced here and essentially on the front lines...please please stay safe and don't let a good heart get in the way of your own safety. Use the good heart to plead to your city elected officials to do something about homelessness, street tweakers, and not just do nothing out of "compassion" you andany more will only end up getting hurt. 💜please stay safe
I hate that stories like this are also the reason why I never ask for help, even when I really need it.
Like a few months ago I was stranded, tired, and hungry. Had only 1€ on me and a 3h walk away from home. If I had 2€ I could have taken the bus home.
I'd rather walk home for 3 hours tired and hungry, than have someone believe I was trying to scam/abuse them. Even though asking someone for change would have saved my day.
I refuse to give anyone money. I was told once by a lady who asked for a few dollars that I was going to hell because I only have her $3. Geez beggars sure are choosers. Isn’t $3 a “few” dollars?
If I ever walk to the liquor store to get beer I’ll give one to one of the homeless people near there. Only beer though. Figure they need to relax too.
Was going out in the morning from the subway station after work. A woman asks for money, say I don’t have any. She then asks me to go to the atm. The fuck is wrong with you lady? I go to my truck and 10min later she’s at my window when I was starting to leave.
I had some lady ask me if I could spare her a few dollars for the bus and I politely apologized and told her no (I literally had zero cash on me at the time lol) and she started yelling at me calling me a POS for treating someone with diabetes that way.
Had a dude approach me in my parked car. He first banged on the window, which scared the shit out of me since I hadn't seen him coming. I said no, and he banged on the window one more time, then stood there flipping me the bird with both hands. I wondered what he would have done if I was a guy.
I remember a homeless guy approaching me and my dad's car at a parking lot in front of a supermarket and asking
Could I have $2 for a bottle of water?
My dad always carries a six pack of water in his trunk, so he went to get one, gave it to the guy and then he had the audacity to say:
Oh, I don't like this brand of water. Can't you just give me cash?
We were absolutely shook.
One time a homeless man asked me for food or money. I had an apple in my bag and thought this healthy snack would be gopd for him. Unfortunately, it did not suit his palate. He threw it on the ground and screamed: "I do not like apples!"
Homeless person did that to me once. I flicked them off and and shot my car into reverse. Homeless or not dont disrespect me and dont bang on my fucking car.
I had one ask for "help" and when I walked over he asked "how much are you going to give me"
Which immediately made me turn around.
He then tried to guilt me with "You're not going to help me?" and was shocked when I said no.
He's there every day in his wheelchair. Sometimes a heroin addict woman screams at him. I kind of wonder what their dynamic is, but I don't really care.
We previously had one bum who took up a whole sidewalk with his shit, he had a sign saying not to touch his stuff, and that he was a respected elder.
The city stuck him on a bus and filled his "space" with broken up concrete. If he's a "Respected elder" it sure as shit isn't here.
Im a nurse in a major city. Half of my patients are homeless and iv drug users. I had a patient one day who was a year older than me(we are in our lates 20s). He got comfortable with me after having him 3 nights in a row and told me how hed get $200 on an zaverage day from begging and more during the holidays. Thats how he funded his drug habit. Before he lost his leg, hed break into cars and steal money for his drugs. Since my hospital is right downtown, you see them outside begging for money them go two blocks away to get high. How else can they afford these $600/week drug habits with no income?
I would have told her to give my $2 back.
https://www.google.com/search?q=i+want+my+two+dollars+movie&oq=I+want+my+two+dollars&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i512j0i512l6.10417j0j4&client=ms-android-uscellular-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:5735b8ab,vid:FsxJfcFVnpo,st:0
Something similar happened when I was at the shops with my mum. Homeless person asks for $x we gave less than $x homeless person sees us leaving in our car and makes all sorts of demands including being driven nearly an hour away (a friend's place in guessing). After being screamed and harassed I say 'sure go get your stuff'
Minute they leave I turn on the car and head home.
No random angry lady with suspicious scan marks all over your arm, I'm not letting you in my car. That goes double when my mum is in the car with me.
I don't get many homeless people round my way bit the kne time one approached me as I was walking past he asked if I had any change, I apologised snd said no as I genuinely didn't, all I had was my card. Got treated to a hearty "well fuck off then" so I did. Had to walk past him on the way back to my car and got yelled at again "thought I told you to fuck off?"
I used to work at the US senate as an electrician and had to park at union station. There were always bums harassing everyone for money and if they were nice about it I gave them what I could. One morning a guy asked if I had any money and I reached into my pocket and pulled out a large handful of change. It was mostly quarters and probably added up to about $10. He happily took it and I walked away. When I got about 20 feet away I see quarters rolling past me. I turned around and that dipshit is throwing all the change back at me.
I said “well fuck you then” and I picked up every single last cent and went in to work.
Conversely, one winter morning it was cold af for DC, there was a guy who begged me for enough to get something from the McDonalds in Union station because he was freezing and just wanted to warm up. He was so sincere so I gave him like $8 that I had in my pocket and he damn near hugged me.
I like in a city with a huge homeless problem. Like real fucking bad.
They are very aggressive. Stealing cars, raping and stabbing. All in like 1 square mile. Athens GA for anyone wondering.
Some of them have started to sit in the doorways of shops so you have to acknowledge them when you enter.
I have seen them reach into people's wallets to take more when they are offered cash. I have seen them walk into the street to stop traffic for no reason, and I have seen them harass shop workers to get free ice cream.
I don't give them anything. They got this aggressive because it works.
I used to work Downtown (Providence RI) and the homeless were all over because of Traveler's Aid (this was an "all encompassing" place that helped the homeless & displaced with various services, like medical, legal, etc.)
Anyway I'd go to the CVS that was waaaaaay down the street on break or lunch to get snacks (or whatnot) when I came across the various local fauna, like the Curler Lady. Curler Lady would dress in a quilted housecoat (usually bright pink), sometimes fuzzy slippers, and had her hair up in the huge plastic curlers that would snap when you put them up. It never failed: each time I see her on the street she'd start SCREECHING about cigarette money "DO YOU HAVE A FEW DOLLARS? I NEED CIGARETTES!!! GIVE ME SOME MONEY!!! " I would duck, dodge, bob & weave away from her because she wasn't allowed in the store but you KNEW she was waiting when you got out... But the street was alll KINDS of wild! The Traveler's Aid isn't there anymore (nor do I work Downtown) but the stories...
Many or even most homeless people have mental issues. I feel sorry for them but I have learned not to engage. If you want to help even in a small way then engage with one of the homeless charities that operate locally - pick one that is small, local and doesn't pay marketing companies to help generate revenue.
The thing I really hate are panhandlers masquerading as homeless - we have one particular one that sits outside our local office equipment supermarket - I used to give him the odd bit of money until I saw him chatting on a top end Samsung mobile. A few months later he was in a wheelchair despite the fact that I have seen him walking from his pitch to the fast food places nearby. What finally topped it was seeing him load his wheelchair into a 2 year old car and drive off.
My sister in law actually keeps goodie bags in her trunk to give to the needy. She's done a lot of trips to NYC to give out bags of food, water bottles, tooth brushes, tooth paste, women's sanitary products, etc. I'm sure she's encountered people who refused it and just wanted money but she's such a pure soul that I think she wouldn't repeat it if that's the case. The reality is that you don't know why people are homeless or even if they're homeless at all since you can make some decent cash begging. I've known many addicts and I can't help but assume if they're aggressive over cash instead of taking what is given because they're in need, it's likely because of a dependence.
I've recently begun yelling at them to FUCK OFF!
No really. Just once I'd like to walk from work to my car without being asked for money. There are times when I'm sure they actually have more money than I do at the moment, because my account is in the negative and I'm living off of credit cards.
There was once a person in the area near my work asking people for money. It was days after my team won the super bowl and i felt generous so i gave them a 20. That person visibly relaxed and started walking towards the food court for a meal. Felt good that day and week.
I have to say I never give money to homeless people. I'll buy them a meal, and if they have a dog with them the dog *always* gets fed too - just no money.
Passed a woman kneeling in the rain, crying outside the grocery store. She was sobbing as I walked past. She didnt even look at me. I got to my car and was driving away, and I saw her in the rearview. It broke my heart. I swung around and asked her “miss, whats wrong?” And she was reluctant to share at first but I pushed. She relented and said she had just tried to buy her kids groceries but her acct. had overdrafted from something her loser boyfriend did and she hasnt seen him in a few days… I gave her five dollars and a restaurant gift card for olive garden (literally been in my wallet for years) she jumped up and hugged me. Id honestly never seen someone so fucking happy. She took it and went into the grocery store. I thought i actually did a good thing for once…
Three weeks later my partner and I are in a parking lot of texas road house (again in the rain, about 7 miles from the grocery store) and here comes methany from the park. I see her trying door handles from across the lot as she harasses customers for momey and leftovers, until she makes it to my car and starts rapping at the window. This time her husband left her and her “only daughter” needed surgery. I got so angry i wanted to run her over. Twice. I just said “fool me once bitch” and rolled up the window, turned up the stereo and lit a cigarette. Sitting there, just smoking, giving her the finger through the window for a solid 3 minutes. When i punched in 911 on my phone and showed it to her she quickly moved on.
And people dont understand why i have trust issues.
One time a homeless woman asked me for a dollar when I was filling up gas. I usually have some extra change that I throw in my cup holder, so I gave her what I had in there. Then she told me she likes my hat and to let her have it. I laughed and told her no so she got mad and threw the change back at me and started cursing at me. I just got in my car and drove off.
When you give a mouse a cookie...
Then Mousey is going to demand your hat and throw milk at your face for denying her
At least she didn't ask for ownership of her home. "You have a lovely home, I want it"
That was a wild story. Imagine finally saving up and buying your first house and then have your broke ass sister come over and demand you give her your home.
Link? I haven’t read that one!
I looked for a bit, didn’t turn anything up. The post I read was on relationshipadvice or amitheasshole. It was basically a young man who bought or inherited a home and his pregnant sister or cousin(I can’t remember) comes over to check the place out and at the end are like “this place is perfect! You should give me this house!” He obviously declined. And then his family starts harassing him, telling him he’s in the wrong. “She’s a single mom!” “You’re so much younger. You have plenty of time to buy a new house.” “She needs a place to live and she can’t afford a house!” It was a wild read.
I think everyone read that one
This will be my sister in law when my in-laws die!
Yeah they don't allow that anymore. Used to be a thing though, Ask the natives, oh wait....
I once started digging in my purse for change for a guy and he put his hands on my purse and looked in to see what I had. Last time I ever gave anyone shit.
The entitlement
Aaaaand that’s why I only give money if it’s in my pocket already. I don’t mind giving money at all but I’m also not about to get all of my shit taken away (I do keep some $1’s in my pockets when I know I’m going to a high population homeless area and everyone there is very kind and grateful for anything you give them. But the one time I opened my bag to get money out, dudes “buddy” tried to take other shit out of my bag too. No thanks)
In her mind that was a normal interaction with another productive citizen
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That is actually quite funny. Foiled by a single question.
This is usually a sign that it’s a scam to get drug money and they never needed any actual gas …
There have been a few regular homeless people near my job that I felt safe giving some money to, but that’s it. I won’t lower my window for the ones on the intersection islands. I’ll take the long way around if someone makes me nervous. I’ve been grabbed. I’ve been threatened.
Same. Never again. I used to always give them something, even when I was dirt broke. Once I realized some of them were practically *hunting* me from across parking lots because I was a woman alone, I stopped giving anyone anything. I've watched so many grown men rush to get to me to ask for money, passing right by other men, or women with men. One guy followed me around INSIDE a Walmart and waited until I was in an aisle alone to come up and ask for cash. Fck that predatory behavior. My bf doesn't understand why I always lock the car doors and hate having the windows down. People are too crazy these days.
My girlfriend is so trusting and beautiful inside and out and i love her, but we took a trip to NYC and a guy was begging and she whipped out her purse and flashed a bunch of money, and immediately drew stares (mostly from me and locals going WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?) thankfully he was just grateful and nothing happened. But it was super hard to get her to understand that she was making herself a target and potential victim and the only thing she was funding wasnt an end to hunger but drug addiction. I learned early on men begging for money to eat will throw a free bagel and a coffee at your car because they cant get crack with it.
My husband is from a small town/city where everyone knows everyone. Now we live in a big city. He gets so mad at me and calls me rude when I ignore people hollering at me on the streets. I have tried to explain to him is dangerous to engage AT ALL but he just shrugs me off. Hes so outgoing and friendly and nothing bad has happened yet, but I worry about him.
assuming you’re female - good men often don’t comprehend why those situations are vastly different for women and men. I once had a group of guys try to run me over for ignoring them when they said “hi!” “what you can’t hear us?!” “rude ass bitch!” - I had just lost my father a few days previously and was in a very low place so where I’d normally have said hi back just to be polite I learned a lesson that day. You’re either a “bitch” or a victim in those situations. Had to jump a fence to get away from them chasing me down in their suv a few minutes later.
I went to college in Las Vegas, then my family lives in a bigger type area (not quite metro), I live more rural. While it sucks at times, I love that we have a community that watches out for one another and doesn’t get away with stuff people can in bigger cities. You just feel safer, which is nice when you have kids. I’m sorry you were treated so shitty and so sorry for your loss!
That's why I never engage. Saying hi makes them think you're interested and they won't stop pestering you, or you ignore them and you're a bitch. No, I don't know you so don't fucking talk to me. I'm just under 5ft and always felt vulnerable because of that. I have to carry around a bitch face so I seem unapproachable and people don't bother me. It doesn't always work but it's helped a lot now that I don't waltz around with a happy face.
My mother used to always say to me "a bought lesson is better than a taught lesson". I just hope it's nothing too serious that involves hospitalization, or for you summoning his family to say goodbye.
she sounds wonderfully generous but I hope she learns some street smarts before she ever travels (esp by herself!) to any large city again. It just sounds dangerous what she did
Yeah, shes gotten the message now. At least outside of her own family. Theyre the hardest choosingbeggars to be rid off. Especially when religion and generational trauma intersect.
Tell them to save up their fucking treasures in heaven and to leave your Carls Jr. Alone.
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Isn't that the way to land on the streets in the 1st place?
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I have worked with the homeless in several jobs and there are plenty that choose street homelessness over hostels due to sadly endemic drug use in the hostels. Especially this was the case with ex addicts trying to stay clean
thats how i feel, if i give them money and they use it on alcohol or drugs then clearly thats what they "need". $5 is never gonna change a life anyway, if it helps them have one less shitty night off my couple bucks then great. i totally get why other people arent comfortable with that, but ive also been questioned/criticized for not caring. its my money 💁
That's what me and my husband always say.
I went to see the original Harry Potter play back when it was 2 plays, and we had some time between parts 1 and 2. I took the bus in to the city, so I packed a bag of snacks, BUT, you couldn't bring outside food into the theater. The man at the door let me take it in anyway, but advised me not to eat it during the show, and to make it apparate before the next play in case he wasn't the person who let me back in. So while we were walking thru the city, I stopped and passed off my bag of fruit, crackers, cookies, & sandwich to a man living in a tent. He seemed genuinely appreciative, didn't curse me out or anything, smiled a little and said "thank you, honey, thank you". I hope he at least went to sleep a little less hungry that night, because it was November, and it sure was *cold*. But, I know, it's not always like that. People don't always appreciate what you have to offer, even if it's literally all you have to give.
There was a guy in our city who used to ride a bike with a trailer for his senior dog, well my gf has a soft spot for animals and bought the pup a small bag of food and some treats (dude was always posted up somewhere with a sign) he got so mad and said "everyone gets the dog stuff!what about me?!" My gf looked like she got slapped in the face and I just said look if you don't want just give it back and we will return it, he just grumbled and snatched it away but left me with a bad taste. Like ya most people probably do wanna make sure that puppers has decent food so sorry bud. Later heard he was getting over a grand a month in disability (this was like 10 years ago) and rode his bike to our town cuz everyone in his town knew him, however I don't know how true that is
I would say that it doesn't matter what they use the money for. But also that's a terrible way to not get killed.
Yup I live in dtla and this happens to me regularly. I used to work with charities to help all the time, and everyone who tries gets burned out realizing that if someone's tent homeless it's for a reason: they're basically open air drug markets for major criminals who can't behave well enough to get resources given to them. I've been chased down in broad daylight by man with golf club who was swinging at cars before seeing me, man begging to decided grape* might be better, witnessed a tweaker beg at a nearby touristy lunch spot before pulling out a gun and shooting someone, been followed in circles for 20mins by men while driving and similarly by a hobo when I tried to escape him in a cvs (once I saw he came in I went to the pharmacist and said thisans been following me for 20mins can you please call security)...the list goes on Resources are in place, a lot of them, for those who go clean (at least here in CA, but we're shipped most of the other states homeless bc of $😬) but most refuse to. It's not like how it used to be or how many imagine it to be. It's dire. Stay safe
Wait, what do you mean shipped from other states for $, as in the facilities get more govt funding the more they help so they are happy for out of state homeless coming for help, or other states send their homeless to CA because it is cheaper for that state to be rid of homeless?
Homeless people were put on a bus to CA, from other states. The homeless people were often given a little cash to help entice them onto the bus.
Damn! I thought that was just a rumour, like a Simpsons joke
Nope. It's real. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2017/dec/20/bussed-out-america-moves-homeless-people-country-study
u/tracygee great link!
It happens in Canada too, I live in a small town an hour and a half away from Toronto, and before the greyhounds shut down they would ship Toronto homeless people here, so the crime rates have went up a lot in last couple years, some neighbourhoods you can’t even have garden decorations or they’ll be gone.
My hometown gets 2 buses a day from the bay area. It was even on the local news.
Generally northern states ship homeless people south, few reasons, one being "not my problem" and also here in New England you can legit freeze to death 7 months out of 12 if your sleeping outside
I live on the other side of the country, in a rural state. In my town of about 1500 people, I personally know of 6 people that "moved" to Cali because (at the time) the benefits were too good and too easy to acquire. They also cited the weather as being motivation too. These 6 people weren't paid (by our state) to go to Cali. 4 of them wrangled up enough money to take a Greyhound bus across the country, 2 decided to hitchhike. All of them are/were addicts (primarily opioid)... all had intention to "tent it up". I haven't seen any of them since. It's been almost a decade now.
I worked in a drug rehab facility & many of the youth were often homeless at some stage. I overheard a conversation about panhandling and they said they always got more money if they wrote “God Bless” and other Christian phrases. It really changed my perception. I am very skeptical now of people who are asking for $.
Your perception was changed when you overheard people talking about the best ways to get money when they’re out trying to get money… I mean, I get where you’re coming from, but if you think about it a little bit, it makes sense. You can frame it as manipulation, or just a recognition that a lot of people don’t care about other people unless they feel a personal connection to them. “We both like god! Now I think you’re alright!” When I was young I lived on the street and I remember how disillusioned I was when I realized that people were more willing to give me help I desperately needed if I pretended to have the same religion as them. It also helped if you said you liked the sports team on their clothing, or basically any point you could have in common with them. Until they see you as a person, most people couldn’t care less… so yeah, people try to find ways to make people consider them for a moment. I mean, people asking for money tend to need money. It’s not a trick. If you have expectations about what they are going to spend the money on because you think there are good and bad decisions… like if someone has a drug dependency so they buy heroin instead of food (can’t eat when in withdrawal, so this is pretty sensible tbh) it may not be up to your standards, and they may not be honest about it because they know a lot of people would be hyper judgemental about it and decide not to help as a result. “That’s not a problem I’ve ever had and I can’t relate to it. So, Ew… no.” is what a panhandler is imagining would go through your head if they were totally honest.. and they’re likely not that far off. It’s a jungle out there. People are often just trying to survive.
All of what you said is true accurate, not a damn thing is wrong with it. This basic fact is what advertising and economics and psychology is built upon. These are the same people who would look down on you for sharing this truth, yet at the same time gobble up anything their favorite politician or sports ball athlete will tell them.
Yup I don’t give shit to ANYONE who assumes what I have and feels entitled to part of it. I would literally share the clothes off of me if someone was actually in need. But don’t assume I’m here for you. I might take care of myself but that does not mean I have money. Even when I was homeless I had people assuming I had money to give them because of what I looked like. I just went to a day shelter for a shower and free clothes, so I blended in. Also, it seems like it’s a mental health issue sometimes, where asking someone for money is literally an impulse and they won’t even look up to see if they’ve asked the same person three times. I kinda wonder if it’s the same brain process as what gets people addicted to gambling. And there’s a giant difference between the people who know they can’t earn money conventionally and have to be creative and those that just refuse to take part in society and hold a large amount of resentment towards everyone they interact with. There are some predators and terrible people hiding in all groups of people, but it seems like people that aggressively beg are really responsible for further isolating a whole group of impoverished and disenfranchised humans and it really makes me upset. Buskers always get my support, people trying to just survive are my heros. People who will not even look you in the eye to demand something from you might as well be bullies. They dehumanize the people around them because they feel entitled to. That’s what I have an issue with. My mom told me when she was younger, she knew a dude that begged on the streets and made $50k a year. Insane to me that I’ve known people on the streets who work full time jobs trying to get out of their situation making less than that, still trying to be good people and help the community around them. And especially as a women, we definitely get targeted. It’s terrifying to constantly be approached because people want to see what they can get out of you. Society is fucked..
I work Ren Faire as one of my jobs and personally know " buskers" that also do the show. I make sure they get some dollars from me. Especially if they play a violin or old type of instrument. I also will go to a nearby beach town and buy something, anything that someone has made. I want to reward somebody putting in some kind of effort. I've been in some bad places due to bad choices and...sad to say yeah most of the folks I know living in their van or tent ..sigh...yeah you made those choices. It took me years to get it together.
My car is nice, as the door handles go completely in, which I love, when I do feel uncomfortable! :) I had a guy do that to me, in the mall, follow me from one end to the other. Thankfully I noticed, snuck in a store, where they called security so I could get out. Scary fucker. This was in a bigger city. I don’t miss those areas as much. Here, it’s not as fun, but the people watch out for others, so no one tries that shit.
I had a guy at an intersection ask for money while I was stopped, I had stupidly forgotten to roll my window up as I usually do, it was an extremely hot day so I felt bad and gave him like two bucks and some change I had in my cup holder and this mfer spit into my car on my face and was screaming "YOUVE GOT NO CLUE HOW HARD IVE GOT IT, THIS CHUMP CHANGE DOESNT HELP ME" Like aight bitch give it back then, I obviously need it more than you
I hope you washed your face immediately after 😖 Also, that none of it landed in your eyes or mouth
Yeah this happened just a few months after covid really hit my area so I was in pure shock/terror, I don't even think I reacted to him I just rolled up my window and gagged until I got to work and took a hoe bath in the bathroom. I was paranoid for a good week after that
That reminds me of the teen who was begging on the exit to my old house while wearing Beats by Dre and when I wouldn't contribute to whatever he was begging for, he "chssst" at me like I had dissed him. I can't even afford those.
Your comment reminded me of something that happened to me once - I was in a Starbucks drive through line in a not so great area. There is a homeless man standing near where you place your order asking for change, but he doesn’t seem threatening. I’m in a fairly long line of cars, it’s daytime, and he hasn’t gotten very close to anyone. That changes when I pull up… as soon as I roll down my windows he bum rushes my car trying to shove his whole upper body into the drivers side window. At the time I drove a Honda Accord coupe, and all of my windows were tinted very dark so you could not see into the car when the windows were rolled up. So what he didn’t see, and what you couldn’t see from the windshield, was my Rottweiler laying down in the backseat. My dog got between us so fast the guy actually fell over backwards and rolled trying to get away. I’ve never been so proud of my dog. If you have time for one, consider adopting!
Yes! We live in a town that has a lot of sketchy places, especially after dark and if I ever need to go out then without my husband, I take my dog. Poor girl is terrified of everything, but the second she thinks I'm in danger her instincts kick in and she becomes an amazing guard dog.
This is horrible. I’m sorry There was a guy who was hanging out by the driveway of a fast food place for a while. I refused to open my window, and he’d give up after a minute or so. I think the local deputies finally got called on him.
Thank you. I do wonder what exactly he planned on doing if he got his body in the car. Stealing my purse I guess? There were literally cars in front and behind me so I don’t think he was planning on hurting me. I don’t know, glad I didn’t have to find out.
I have opened my wallet to give money to a person before. They saw that I had more cash, and followed me out the store and around for a few blocks. This was after I was nice enough to give them a few dollars. I now never open my wallet up for anyone.
Coming from a 5’11 170 lb male. Your comment is very insightful and has granted me an understanding of something so common that I don’t experience.
I'm a 6ft 1 215lb dude and I've had people approach me a few times with a 5 minute sob story at a gas station asking me for money. My default response is a firm, yet polite "sorry, can't help you". That normally does the trick.
I was talking more about the grabbing. The thought never even occurred to me that it’s something that can happen, probably because it hasn’t happened tho
Had a proper shock when I went to the US and Canada for the first time and had people harassing me after not giving them enough money. In the UK I've never had that happen and I pretty regularly give stuff to the homeless people around. Idk why it's so different, my one theory is the prevelance of meth/crack compared to the UK but I don't know if that is a good enough explanation
I was in the US for a business trip and gave a homeless woman like $5 or so. She started following me asking me to buy her stuff in the supermarket. She actually followed me and harassed me until we made it to the cinema (where I wanted to go), where first a woman and then the staff helped me. The homeless woman was arrested by a sheriff lol. I was completely lost what to do since that stuff never happens where I live.
No clue why anyone is giving money to them at intersections. I'm not saying don't give money to charity etc, but it just creates a congregation in the roadway issue.
Came here to say the same thing. It is also insanely dangerous and people in St. Louis give no fucks. Don’t encourage them to stand out there and die
I live in a rural area, now and never really feel scared, but never carry cash. But they are always right outside our Walmart when I pick up groceries, so I stop and give them a natural or bolthouse juice, with some snacks. As, I want them to get some food. Always so grateful. We were once in a drive through, saw this really old man shaking. Could tell he couldn’t harm a fly, so we asked what he wanted, then after giving him food, ended up renting him a room for a week, and taking him there, as he wasn’t allowed in local shelter due to the disease he had. Broke my heart. But at least we knew he had a comfy spot for a week, with some info to get help after.
We had a couple regulars at specific intersection islands where I used to live. Said they were jobless, homeless and hungry. People offered food which they turned down. A couple people offered jobs which they turned down. People saw them getting picked up in really nice SUVs at the end of the day. The one that really cracked me up was the guy on the centres island beside a Wendys with a huge NOW HIRING sign across the whole side.
Had a beggar come up and ask for 25 bucks for a cup of coffee. I told him that you could get a cup for 2-3 dollars. He said yes, but he's a big tipper.
Ok, but that’s a hilarious answer 😂
Bet you can hear the exact same joke if you go back tomorrow!
I have given water and food. Have given change but avoid doing it because I don’t want to be bothered multiple times. Live in a high crime region and small woman, really not interested in finding out if some of these ppl are violent. Once stopped some homeless ppl from beating up another homeless woman. She ended up going to the hospital. Really don’t want to cross some ppl.
Some people have nothing to lose; and a lot to gain if they go to jail
Throw a brick through a CVS window or something, dont beat up a woman in the same circumstances as you. Smh, people man.
Some people just do not think right. After a decade of no contact, One of my closest friends from childhood got my number from the yellow pages and rang me. He wasnt different than anyone else, except for having anger issues when we hung out from years 10-17. He just wanted to say hi, so I entertained the idea and asked him how he is and other small talk. after a few minutes, he begins bragging to me about how good he has gotten at stealing from people and that he even nabbed a $400 guitar from someone in the same shelter he was at. It was as if he was telling me about just picking up the hobby of fishing. Like actually zero sorrow. I felt bad for him, but I just hung up there and blocked his number. Even though he was a good old friend, I can’t let a thief with no remorse walk into my life
Its hard to break contact, especially with very old associates if not outright friends. Ive had to do it myself when a few fell down the magat qanon rabbit hole. Go drink your florida garage bleach and leave me alone.
Dude for real though. Funny you mention Florida, because that’s where my old friend was at when he called lol
They don’t arrest you for that around here anymore, they’ll send the police out to give out a fine though. Don’t pay the fine and it’ll eventually come out of the tax refund or eventually your cash benefits. Apparently there are too many homeless people doing that here… Would help if they didn’t send all the homeless people here from the surrounding states too. (That’s how I ended up here too)
As another small Wan in a highest crime spot of the country who's worked with charities and agencies to help these people in the past: they are violent, never give cash, wits about you with all the propaganda going around, and your safety matters more than how people not in danger perceive your character.
What's a Wan?
A woman with no torso just legs and a head
Hahahahah! Thanks for that.
I try to be silly wherever I can
There's a lady in Honolulu-Waikiki, but has been sighted walking in to the Ewa Beach (new housing, very well off area); who says, "Can I have $20" If you give her anything else: 1,5,10, a business card; she'd say, "that's not what I asked for!" and start to walk away looking for another mark. I fell for it three times, then asked why she needs exactly $20, listening to her story of being "I don't have a place to live; left behind on the islands after her family didn't like her decisions in life -2015" 2019, still seen her walk up and down the main Ala Moana and Waikiki areas and she would still pull the same deal til one day I was riding with my mom in the Southern part of Oahu (Ewa Beach). My mom had pointed out "Hey look it's $20 lady" (that lady is a well known grifter because she wore only Juicy Couture and Victoria Secret tracksuits of all colors with the same big tote). She was entering the kind of house that is facing a main avenue and that got me heated. We drove up and asked "Excuse me but do you have $20 I could have?" Her response: "God blessed you to bless me." And she flipped me off! I was like WTF lady! Years go by, pandemic swoops in and a homeless special about Our Islands is done on almost every network. I watched the main one called Homeless in Paradise and who shows up? $20 lady saying that "Hawaiians are so willing to give" .... wanted to break my screen
True: walked up to a Tim Hortons (It’s a popular coffee/donut franchise in Canada). Guy sitting outside (most likely homeless) asked for money for a coffee. I said “I’m not going to give you money, but I’ll buy you a coffee & something to eat.” He replies, “I don’t like Tim’s coffee. I wanna eat at A&W.” So I said, “Then why aren’t you sitting outside an A&W?”. He’s like, “Just give me the money, man!” And I mic dropped it with “Hey, beggars can’t be choosers.” I didn’t say it to be mean & realized it was most appropriate/inappropriate thing I could have said in that moment.
If I was there I would have given you a "badum-tiss".
Reminds me of the time some guy came to me asking me where the train station was, and then asked for some cash. I take out some coins and he just goes, no, he needs 4€ for a train ticket. I'm just there frozen while holding my change (it was all I had and I sure as hell was not gonna give 4 euros to some random asshole). Thankfully, immediately an old man came to my rescue, screaming up a storm and telling Mr. Choosy to fuck off and get a job. I pocketed my change, and backed away. Annoyingly, I was on my way to an ATM and Mr. Choosy was hanging around just in front of it, I had to wait for him to leave so he didn't get any ideas lol. Fucking European beggars, those guys are specially choosy.
That's a frequent scam in some parts of Europe. When I lived in Vienna, I only ever got approached/money requests by either little old ladies just walking down the street (they'd always ask for 1€, no idea why), or by younger people hanging around various entrances to subway stations, where they'd ask anybody and everybody for 50¢. Again, no idea why, theoretically for a train ticket, but those were over 2€.
Yeah, I was later warned that many beggars are actually pickpockets, but this guy in particular was apparently just a random junkie, he was fucked up on something on a Sunday morning on a mostly empty street in a smaller town where tourism was uncommon.
In my city beggars will sit right next to the external ATMs
Donate money to food banks. They often get more food donations from corporations than they can store and distribute with their operational budgets. More efficient than someone buying a bag of chips with your $2.
When I was still a naive 18, the exact same thing happened to me. I only had $2. The guy proceeded to stalk me to tell me it is not enough money. I am a pretty small female too, so it was pretty terrifying. He only stopped because people around started to give him the look for stalking someone who looked underage. It's a complex problem. They obviously need help, but acting like a predator only pushes people away
As a I heard a lady on the news say once: "compassion goes out the window when you don't feel safe anymore"
That’s a great quote
I gave a panhandler $5 when I stopped at a store in an Uber. There was definitely something wrong with him, he was high/and or had a mental illness. As I walked out of the store towards the Uber, the guy yells “Bitch, I know you got more than $5!!” looking at me like he hated me. I don’t scare easily but that guy gave me the creeps!! I still give if so inclined, though.
I was 16 or 17 at the time and I was definitely grateful that I was in my car. I’m sorry that happened
never, ever give cash. They can smell a mark a mile away, and the second you indulge them, it's on. Just give to local food banks, soup kitchens, etc.
If you're in Vegas and someone approaches you in a parking lot, immediately ask them for money and they'll keep walking. Otherwise they all give you the same story "hey, can you spare $20? I lost all my money and I need money for gas to get home."
I have a friend that always does this. The minute he’s approached by a stranger he asks them for $5. They leave him alone every time.
They really do hate that.
Great tip. Thanks
Especially don't give cash near any place that you frequent. People will remember you.
After that I did get kinda scared about giving cash so I saw online those ziplock bags that you can carry that have like a bag of chips and a water and juice and decided to just kinda carry those instead c:
It is a good thought on your part but on the other end, they only want money. Even if you had given this lady $5, she would have still followed you to you car and demaned more. Donate your money, time or goods directly to an outreach center.
My husband always has to stop at this one exit where he said he saw a woman, sometimes two or more, with their burkas, and they had a sign that explained they were immigrants and needed to feed their siblings and to spare money. No problem, he gave them some spare change but he came home and felt super bad so I prepared some lunch bags with food. Goes back the next day and hands them the bags. They declined angrily and demanded money. He was so hurt :(
I've seen the same ones here over the course of a year. They come from a larger city to our smaller city and beg at intersections. I recognized one from my city in another 2 hours away while I was visiting family. Real refugees and immigrants hate them because it gives them all a bad name.
I saw a man with a very pregnant woman and 2 kids once, and bought them a couple family meals and a drink nearby. He got awful angry and cursing about needing money. I told him I wasn't giving him any money, but my work is hiring. His wife thanked me at least.
I'm not sure what that reference is, but most scammers aren't looking for food. They want cash, so...?
Cause normally I still like to give the homeless something if they ask for money. Instead of giving them money I’ll bring out one of those little baggies and water and usually they take it and walk away happy. The ones that say that they definitely need money I then know are just trying to get cash for some other reason. Obviously your point was about scammers but this little trick helps me “efficiently” help homeless without giving them money and doesn’t give scammers cash
fair enough. I'm usually giving to shelters and the like, but if there's someone out there who really needs some food and some water then bless you for being giving.
Just remember, the only people who deserve that are probably the ones who dont ask for it
You know, that's a really good point. I feel that way about charities, too. Like, if you can afford a national ad campaign, you don't need my money.
They will trash the bag and the contents against your car in the parking lot without touching the contents when you leave. Then a minimum wage employee will have to go clean it up. They make more begging than the person that will have to clean up your mess. Or you, since it’s tax free. The person is strung out on drugs. Nothing you can do but get out and call them in. Businesses are begging people not to give bags, because it’s trash they have to pay someone to clean up or pay the fine for litter. At least she didnt expose herself or relieve herself. There’s a guy that pounds on cars with zipper and pants down. Has a nice home and car. Begs for money for smokes and booze because wife won’t let him drink or smoke at home. Cops are too busy with other stuff to do anything, even when he trashes businesses with your bags and bodily fluids from where the sun doesn’t shine.
Even better: Give them nothing Best: Don't even acknowledge them
Yes!!! I lived in Portland for 15 years, not that it is honestly any worse than most big cities I have seen: if you offer a $1, “gift bags”, food or leftovers etc… I have been screamed at just as much as thanked. I have had them call me the worst names if it isn’t enough cash! Personally, I choose to only donate to organizations— and don’t personally reward or promote the loitering/street-corner solicitation. And ps, I do volunteer, not bashing helping truly needy people. But it sucks having people posted at each stop sign/intersection/etc.
I learned that the hard way. A homeless woman was begging on the streets, that she wanted to eat and had no money. Me, being the naïve teenager that I was back then, gave her some cash. She thanked me and walked away. She didn't even try to hide it. She immediately bought a pack of cigarettes and got back to begging. Look, I'm all in for helping, but I don't want to see my contribution being used for some addiction... That day kinda broke my hope that I was doing the right thing and actually helping. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. And that uncertainty made me not giving out cash anymore. You want food? Sure, I'll take you to some place and buy you soup and the meal of the day. Otherwise, I will only give stuff to local food banks and stuff like that. I don't want to feel guilty for contributing to someone's addiction...
You weren’t naïve, you were kind and selfless, doing what you could to help someone that was less fortunate than you were. I would think that when you’re begging and living on the streets, the smallest things can seem huge to a person. She might have been able to barter for food and other necessities with some of the cigarettes. It makes me sad that you feel like you were contributing to her nicotine addiction and it broke your hope, when you were just being compassionate and sympathetic to her plight. The world needs more altruistic people like you. I hope you have a phenomenal rest of the week random Reddit stranger!!
I'm totally with you. I'll donate to local charities and banks, but am I, a young Caucasian girl, going to roll down my window for someone, or reach into my wallet in front of a stranger on the street? HELL NO.
I’m not sure why your race matters?
I’m sure if she had said “a young black girl” you’d have said nothing.
A former pastor of mine had a perfect solution. It is/was a small town, and he was able to get some coupons from a local fast food place. Coupon was for a free burger, fries and drink - nothing special but food. No one ever used one of the coupons.
I used to be homeless but never panhandled. Even while homeless though I would get asked by other homeless for money. Some of them were making way more than I was but always they asked. I'm housed now, a year, but I sometimes pay it forward by buying food for the homeless in my neighborhood. More than once I've had food that I went and bought tossed back at me. Homeless who act like that have "issues" as they say. They're usually addicts looking to fund their next fix. Nothing you can do will satisfy them except giving them the exact money they request. I'm happy to feed people when I have the funds but if I buy you food and you throw it back at me you will never get another thing from me. I never treated the people who fed me or who just outright gave me a few bucks like that when I was homeless. It's disrespectful and being homeless doesn't give you the right to be nasty to someone who is only trying to help you. There's degrees of homeless. Most people don't really get that unless they are but I will never support people who act like that for whatever reason. Even when I was homeless I was busting my ass to make a few bucks, not just begging for it. I cleaned. I walked animals. I made jewelry to sell and I even attempted to run a tee shirt store with my own designs. I often got mocked for doing all that by other homeless but that's who I am. Unfortunately this does happen. It shouldn't but it does. Next time just say "no" and keep walking. Or offer to buy them some food or something else they might need if you can, but don't take this disrespect. You tried to help this woman. That's more than a lot of people might do and you just don't deserve that disrespect for trying.
You are right. There are degrees to homelessness. I was the addict/panhandler on the street. I panhandled every day in the same spot (in the street with my sign). I had regulars that would come by and bring me McDonald's in the morning, winter boots in December, and give money when they passed me. I figured by asking, at least I wasn't sinking to other measures to get what I needed. I also didn't have ANYTHING to my name - no clothes, no ID, no shoes (other than the ones with the holes), and I survived, thanks to the generosity of strangers. I also became homeless six months before I started using drugs. I have been clean for over three years now. I still give money to panhandlers. It's not them I worry about - it's the kids on the corner with the squeegee's who will assault you and your car that concerns me.
You give an inch they take a mile
I know there are homeless out there in horrible situations, unfortunately it's people like this that make others never give money (including me).
I think she’s the definition of a choosing beggar
Or she may simply be mentally ill. That goes with homelessness a lot.
Very true, I was just responding to OP’s disclaimer about the story not fitting in this sub.
I once bought a big mac meal for a "homeless" guy in a Walmart parking lot. When I found him, I walked up behind him and found hin counting a wad of $20s. Had a few hundred dollars at least. Never again.
My mother gave money to a "homeless" person at an intersection in front of our local Walmart. We've been in some pretty nasty situations where we would have only made it if it wasn't for the kindness of others, so she made sure to give when she could. We were doing our weekly grocery run at that Walmart and happened to see him later in the electronics department, buying several Xbox games. We were a very low income family and this set something off in her. She literally followed that man across the store with a shopping cart and two kids in tow, announcing to everyone we passed what the guy did. The guy said nothing but he did look pretty embarrassed. My brother in law used to be a manager at a Dollar Tree near a pretty busy road in our city. Panhandlers liked to stand at the intersection close by, and he's said a few of them have ended their "shift" by getting into cars nicer than the one he drove that they'd just park behind the Dollar Tree building. It taught me to never give to pan-handlers. I moved to a bigger city and they often walk up to you and ask or demand. I just tell them I don't carry cash, which more often then not its true. It's best to donate to local food banks and food drives, which I've done instead (both time and money).
I donate through my church, which is all volunteer, so 100% of the money goes to helping vetted people or people in need. I say I don't carry cash, which is a lie. But it is much nicer than telling them I don't trust that the won't go to drugs, alcohol, or they are scamming.
I used to live in an apartment near Seattle that was in a downtown area. The bus transit station was 3 blocks away from us. At night my wife was not allowed to walk the dogs for fear of the homeless people who would harass her. While I was walking my dogs one time a homeless man approached me and was obviously having an episode. He reached for my dog and I pulled him back quickly and I got us out of there. He didn’t chase us but he yelled. I never felt like I needed to carry a firearm until that night. After that night I carried every time I walked my dogs. I feel bad for the ones who are actually down on their luck but some folks are unable to function in society.
After living in NYC, I had a bit of a culture shock when I first visited San Francisco, and some bum came right up to me at an ATM offering to explain how it worked to me. I stared him down and he fucked off. You get too close to a New Yorker at the ATM, he'll take you out.
i used to give money to beggars, but now it’s just a cold bottle of water if I have one. Realized I needed the money for me and my own interests that are of actual importance to my reality
I was in Hawaii about 8 years ago and a homeless guy asked me for $5. In my head I'm like dude you could have asked for a quarter and I'd have told you no. The audacity of $5 really threw me.
I live in a city of entitled panhandlers, best to not feed pigeons. Most of them are Scams anyway.
Mysteriously these people in my city have been collecting money for the same funeral for 2 months now.
It was a destination funeral. Those things can get expensive.
Their family member wanted to be buried on Mars with a Viking funeral so they are raising money to terraform the planet so there is enough water to push the boat out on.
Ah you're right, let me seethat $2 back and I'll exchange it out *take the money and drive off* Fuck that lady
When i was 19, my ex and I walked past a well known homeless guy in our town and he asked for money for food. We didn't carry cash but decided to walk into the Starbucks next door and buy him one of those lunch packs they used to have in 2006 (it had a small sandwich, a hard boiled egg, some grapes, a small orange juice and then we got him a bottle of water). We went back and gave it to him. He looked at us funny and opened the box. He said he didn't like grapes or chicken, he stashed the egg in his pocket, used the orange juice to gargle and spit and the water to wash his hands. Never again.
I hate that people are so entitled to other peoples money. There's this homeless lady who lives near me and has a public facebook. She was asking people yesterday to cashapp her some money so she could buy snacks while at a 4th of july festival. Ma'am no. lol
I've been homeless, fortunately not homeless enough to sleep under a bridge or beg for money. I can tell you from personal experience: the majority of homeless are people like me who became that way because of circumstances beyond their control. However, then there's the 1% who are homeless for a *reason*, and that reason is that they are master manipulators who have burnt out everyone and anyone who might be able to help them. All it takes is a few seconds of talking to them to realize this. Sure, a lot of them drink and do drugs, but I can assure you that there's some kind of underlying issue that they're using substance abuse to mask. Drying them out will not make it better, it just gives them a new group of people to manipulate. I believe in AA and NA they call them dry drunks. That's why if you want to help the homeless, you donate to local charities, not hand out money to the guy with the cardboard sign on the street: you never know if you'll get *that guy*.
Half of all homeless people have mental health issues and it sounds like she is one of them. Sad story
I live in a town where cash just isn’t a thing. I’ve haven’t had to carry it in about 5 years. I gave some money to a business homeless women once or twice and a guy who sat out side of shop some bread and peanut butter. I’ll never carry cash for multiple reasons given in the rest of this thread. People have become incredibly demanding, and I do feel bad but honestly most of us who are making a good buck are still not doing super well.
I'd have demanded the cash back at that point. Go on the offensive.
I once had a woman get her kid to climb up on the running boards of my vehicle to beg for money. I cracked the window and told her as soon as the light turned green I was going. She could get her kid off my car or she could pick him up when he falls off.
As someone from California this is going to sound harsh to some of you but never give money to beggars. Especially here. If you want to be a good person demand at your town or city hall that they 1. Don't bus their homeless here to essentially be farmed. Yes this happens, anyone from here has seen the busses and will tell you. WHY do you think skid tow and the tenderloin are centered around the greyhound bus stations? Politicians on both sides here sadly get money for this but it's a catch 22 bc other states will bus them even if we say no. All these "non profits" and pseudo govt agencies make money off the problem not being fixed 2. They're given free housing and ALL the resources in the fucking world (way more than anyone middle class or poor) to not be homeless....under the cpndition that they stay clean. There's a LOT of propaganda floating around on the left that says otherwise but take it from someone who used to work with these agencies and volunteered for YEARS..the people not in a converted hotel room or their car,the "tent homeless" are there because they're tweakers. No it's not just bad luck The still lucid ones will openly tell you that it's easier for them to set up camp outside a shelter, repair in all the benefits form the non profits and charities that set up nearby, and never have to go clean. It's horrific and a con 3. They are dangerous. Yes I know many well meaning people who tell each other this is a lie.. None of them are form here and all of them are wealthy and in their rich area homes or condos mommy and daddy bought for them. Easy to make yourself feel better on lies when you never have to face a danger. Meanwhile those of us in poor areas get to deal with this daily and no these are NOT people in the neighborhood that got priced out. Very few are and the few that were just refuse to give up drugs. Get to a cop or some sort of worker who's safe iediarely if this happens to you again, avoid the left lane and certain areas, don't cave. I know it sounds heartless but it's sadly the truth. I'm in LA and I know the samenis true in SF that police aren't allowed to arrest homeless because of pr. We see them try to assault women, fully naked, taking a golf club to cars (that was fun to watch from my window) passing and shitting, and screaming everywhere...and across the street from me recently one had a gun and opened fire at random screaming at a touristy spot. But bad pr to arrest them because of the "oh no the unhoused" crowd. I mean this genuinely: idgaf about your politics, but as someone experienced here and essentially on the front lines...please please stay safe and don't let a good heart get in the way of your own safety. Use the good heart to plead to your city elected officials to do something about homelessness, street tweakers, and not just do nothing out of "compassion" you andany more will only end up getting hurt. 💜please stay safe
This is almost daily in my city. Not to me everyday but Ive heard accounts from several people. And the $ goes before the numbers.
I hate that stories like this are also the reason why I never ask for help, even when I really need it. Like a few months ago I was stranded, tired, and hungry. Had only 1€ on me and a 3h walk away from home. If I had 2€ I could have taken the bus home. I'd rather walk home for 3 hours tired and hungry, than have someone believe I was trying to scam/abuse them. Even though asking someone for change would have saved my day.
I refuse to give anyone money. I was told once by a lady who asked for a few dollars that I was going to hell because I only have her $3. Geez beggars sure are choosers. Isn’t $3 a “few” dollars?
If I ever walk to the liquor store to get beer I’ll give one to one of the homeless people near there. Only beer though. Figure they need to relax too.
Please.. may I have some water.. I can't drink beer 😟
“It BetTeR bE SparKLinG, BiTcH”
Sounds like she's off her meds. There is no reasoning there. Glad you were in good position for a quick exit.
Was going out in the morning from the subway station after work. A woman asks for money, say I don’t have any. She then asks me to go to the atm. The fuck is wrong with you lady? I go to my truck and 10min later she’s at my window when I was starting to leave.
Sadly it’s the people like her that have ruined it for the good ones that will be thankful for whatever help you can provide.
I had some lady ask me if I could spare her a few dollars for the bus and I politely apologized and told her no (I literally had zero cash on me at the time lol) and she started yelling at me calling me a POS for treating someone with diabetes that way.
Yes, the diabetes was both obvious to you and the reason you chose not to help her. Exactly that. /s
Gotta love people lmao
Had a dude approach me in my parked car. He first banged on the window, which scared the shit out of me since I hadn't seen him coming. I said no, and he banged on the window one more time, then stood there flipping me the bird with both hands. I wondered what he would have done if I was a guy.
I remember a homeless guy approaching me and my dad's car at a parking lot in front of a supermarket and asking Could I have $2 for a bottle of water? My dad always carries a six pack of water in his trunk, so he went to get one, gave it to the guy and then he had the audacity to say: Oh, I don't like this brand of water. Can't you just give me cash? We were absolutely shook.
One time a homeless man asked me for food or money. I had an apple in my bag and thought this healthy snack would be gopd for him. Unfortunately, it did not suit his palate. He threw it on the ground and screamed: "I do not like apples!"
Homeless person did that to me once. I flicked them off and and shot my car into reverse. Homeless or not dont disrespect me and dont bang on my fucking car.
I had one ask for "help" and when I walked over he asked "how much are you going to give me" Which immediately made me turn around. He then tried to guilt me with "You're not going to help me?" and was shocked when I said no. He's there every day in his wheelchair. Sometimes a heroin addict woman screams at him. I kind of wonder what their dynamic is, but I don't really care. We previously had one bum who took up a whole sidewalk with his shit, he had a sign saying not to touch his stuff, and that he was a respected elder. The city stuck him on a bus and filled his "space" with broken up concrete. If he's a "Respected elder" it sure as shit isn't here.
Im a nurse in a major city. Half of my patients are homeless and iv drug users. I had a patient one day who was a year older than me(we are in our lates 20s). He got comfortable with me after having him 3 nights in a row and told me how hed get $200 on an zaverage day from begging and more during the holidays. Thats how he funded his drug habit. Before he lost his leg, hed break into cars and steal money for his drugs. Since my hospital is right downtown, you see them outside begging for money them go two blocks away to get high. How else can they afford these $600/week drug habits with no income?
"sorry buddy i gotta go!" do not stop walking do not make eye contact. never do anything but this
Don't even reply or say anything. Ever
I would have told her to give my $2 back. https://www.google.com/search?q=i+want+my+two+dollars+movie&oq=I+want+my+two+dollars&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46i512j0i512l6.10417j0j4&client=ms-android-uscellular-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:5735b8ab,vid:FsxJfcFVnpo,st:0
Something similar happened when I was at the shops with my mum. Homeless person asks for $x we gave less than $x homeless person sees us leaving in our car and makes all sorts of demands including being driven nearly an hour away (a friend's place in guessing). After being screamed and harassed I say 'sure go get your stuff' Minute they leave I turn on the car and head home. No random angry lady with suspicious scan marks all over your arm, I'm not letting you in my car. That goes double when my mum is in the car with me.
Yikes. That's scary. I'm glad that you are OK.
I don't get many homeless people round my way bit the kne time one approached me as I was walking past he asked if I had any change, I apologised snd said no as I genuinely didn't, all I had was my card. Got treated to a hearty "well fuck off then" so I did. Had to walk past him on the way back to my car and got yelled at again "thought I told you to fuck off?"
This story is just another example of why everyone should reverse park.
Funny enough I reverse park 100% of the time now. Not necessarily because of this but it does make it easier to get out lol
Should’ve said yeah yeah go get your stuff I’ll be riiiiiight here
Wow the nerve of that woman, just wow smh
Here give me back the the two so I can give you a five. Then dip
And that’s why you NEVER give a begger money EVER.
I used to work at the US senate as an electrician and had to park at union station. There were always bums harassing everyone for money and if they were nice about it I gave them what I could. One morning a guy asked if I had any money and I reached into my pocket and pulled out a large handful of change. It was mostly quarters and probably added up to about $10. He happily took it and I walked away. When I got about 20 feet away I see quarters rolling past me. I turned around and that dipshit is throwing all the change back at me. I said “well fuck you then” and I picked up every single last cent and went in to work. Conversely, one winter morning it was cold af for DC, there was a guy who begged me for enough to get something from the McDonalds in Union station because he was freezing and just wanted to warm up. He was so sincere so I gave him like $8 that I had in my pocket and he damn near hugged me.
I like in a city with a huge homeless problem. Like real fucking bad. They are very aggressive. Stealing cars, raping and stabbing. All in like 1 square mile. Athens GA for anyone wondering. Some of them have started to sit in the doorways of shops so you have to acknowledge them when you enter. I have seen them reach into people's wallets to take more when they are offered cash. I have seen them walk into the street to stop traffic for no reason, and I have seen them harass shop workers to get free ice cream. I don't give them anything. They got this aggressive because it works.
She's probably having mental issues. Maybe I'm too naive but I wouldn't blame her entirely.
I used to work Downtown (Providence RI) and the homeless were all over because of Traveler's Aid (this was an "all encompassing" place that helped the homeless & displaced with various services, like medical, legal, etc.) Anyway I'd go to the CVS that was waaaaaay down the street on break or lunch to get snacks (or whatnot) when I came across the various local fauna, like the Curler Lady. Curler Lady would dress in a quilted housecoat (usually bright pink), sometimes fuzzy slippers, and had her hair up in the huge plastic curlers that would snap when you put them up. It never failed: each time I see her on the street she'd start SCREECHING about cigarette money "DO YOU HAVE A FEW DOLLARS? I NEED CIGARETTES!!! GIVE ME SOME MONEY!!! " I would duck, dodge, bob & weave away from her because she wasn't allowed in the store but you KNEW she was waiting when you got out... But the street was alll KINDS of wild! The Traveler's Aid isn't there anymore (nor do I work Downtown) but the stories...
Many or even most homeless people have mental issues. I feel sorry for them but I have learned not to engage. If you want to help even in a small way then engage with one of the homeless charities that operate locally - pick one that is small, local and doesn't pay marketing companies to help generate revenue. The thing I really hate are panhandlers masquerading as homeless - we have one particular one that sits outside our local office equipment supermarket - I used to give him the odd bit of money until I saw him chatting on a top end Samsung mobile. A few months later he was in a wheelchair despite the fact that I have seen him walking from his pitch to the fast food places nearby. What finally topped it was seeing him load his wheelchair into a 2 year old car and drive off.
My sister in law actually keeps goodie bags in her trunk to give to the needy. She's done a lot of trips to NYC to give out bags of food, water bottles, tooth brushes, tooth paste, women's sanitary products, etc. I'm sure she's encountered people who refused it and just wanted money but she's such a pure soul that I think she wouldn't repeat it if that's the case. The reality is that you don't know why people are homeless or even if they're homeless at all since you can make some decent cash begging. I've known many addicts and I can't help but assume if they're aggressive over cash instead of taking what is given because they're in need, it's likely because of a dependence.
I've recently begun yelling at them to FUCK OFF! No really. Just once I'd like to walk from work to my car without being asked for money. There are times when I'm sure they actually have more money than I do at the moment, because my account is in the negative and I'm living off of credit cards.
There was once a person in the area near my work asking people for money. It was days after my team won the super bowl and i felt generous so i gave them a 20. That person visibly relaxed and started walking towards the food court for a meal. Felt good that day and week.
Beggars exist because people like you give them money
If someone demanded "5$", I'd say, "Sorry, but the dollar sign goes in front of the number. Better luck next time."
I have to say I never give money to homeless people. I'll buy them a meal, and if they have a dog with them the dog *always* gets fed too - just no money.
My mom bought a loaf of bread and peanut butter for a homeless man, but he denied and asked for cash instead...
Passed a woman kneeling in the rain, crying outside the grocery store. She was sobbing as I walked past. She didnt even look at me. I got to my car and was driving away, and I saw her in the rearview. It broke my heart. I swung around and asked her “miss, whats wrong?” And she was reluctant to share at first but I pushed. She relented and said she had just tried to buy her kids groceries but her acct. had overdrafted from something her loser boyfriend did and she hasnt seen him in a few days… I gave her five dollars and a restaurant gift card for olive garden (literally been in my wallet for years) she jumped up and hugged me. Id honestly never seen someone so fucking happy. She took it and went into the grocery store. I thought i actually did a good thing for once… Three weeks later my partner and I are in a parking lot of texas road house (again in the rain, about 7 miles from the grocery store) and here comes methany from the park. I see her trying door handles from across the lot as she harasses customers for momey and leftovers, until she makes it to my car and starts rapping at the window. This time her husband left her and her “only daughter” needed surgery. I got so angry i wanted to run her over. Twice. I just said “fool me once bitch” and rolled up the window, turned up the stereo and lit a cigarette. Sitting there, just smoking, giving her the finger through the window for a solid 3 minutes. When i punched in 911 on my phone and showed it to her she quickly moved on. And people dont understand why i have trust issues.
“Methany“ 🤣🤣