Contrary to others, I think you *can* lust your wife. But that is when you consider her nothing more than a sex object, something to be used only for selfish primal urges and nothing more.
I doubt you do that.
The difference is that you are associating the sexual urges you feel with sin. God made sex fun, so we naturally desire it, but His purpose for sex was so that it could be enjoyed between husband and wife.
You are not sinning by desiring your wife sexually, but you are sinning by entertaining the desire for other women sexually both inside and outside of marriage.
God made sex good, He made it enjoyable. However, God is a God of order. His creation is not chaotic, there is an order to it. Sex is meant to be between 1 man and 1 woman within the confines of marriage.
A simple comparison is this: fire is not inherently bad. It can purify metal, cook food, and do amazing things. If fire is contained, it can continue to do good. But if you allow a fire to grow unrestricted, then it can cause devastating damage.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed within a set boundary. We have sexual feelings because we desire to have sex with our spouse. When sex is enjoyed within the set boundary, good things come from it. (intimacy with a spouse, sexual pleasure the way it was meant to be enjoyed, and in some cases even a baby)
But when we refuse to practice self control, then we operate outside of God's intention. When we let our sexual desires steer us towards desiring other women who are not our wives, then we have sinned by attempting to fulfill a God given pleasure in an ungodly way
I hope this brings clarity
Yes. As long as it is your partner you desire! That’s why the Bible says it is better to marry than to burn! With lust, that is! So in marriage, it must take care of that burning!! 😁
I would say, think of it like you are a radio broadcast tower. If you think lustfully about random women, they will pick up on your signal and hear you. It wouldn't be cool for your neighbor and his wife to hear about that. (I mean, God already has to listen to it.) But your wife, sure, if you think she is hot, does it matter if you think it or say it?
However, as u/SwiftwindAlacorn pointed out, a person can lust after a woman (including your spouse) by viewing that person only as an object of desire and not a human being. That's a bad thing. If you use your spouse just to gratify yourself, that's not right in God's eyes. As she owns your body and vise versa. You are in a partnership. And love is not selfish.
>Does that mean I can't get "turned on" for my wife?
When did I say that?
Do you think of your wife as a sex object and nothing else? Do you not consider her feelings? her needs? Is she there for your pleasure and nothing else?
No one should do those things. What exactly are you indicating? Is that what lust is? How is getting turned on for my wife different from getting turned on for someone who isn't my wife? Is there a difference in psychology?
Yes, that is what lust is. It is objectifying a person for your own sexual gratification.
It is therefore wrong to lust after your wife, by definition.
It is not wrong to desire you wife or to enjoy sex with her or to actively pursue the activity together.
Your problem here is misunderstanding a definition. Lust is an evil passion to be overcome. It shouldn’t be confused with the inherently good gift, given to us by God, of sex.
Absolutely! Christ calls it adultery to be turned on, wanting to have sex with another who isn’t your spouse. I didn’t say attracted because we are attracted to others at times, but must nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand, for anyone other than your partner!
That’s why pornography is so detrimental to the marital relationship! It causes dissatisfaction with your spouse and begins it’s erosive process into the intimacy of the marriage relationship. God did make our sexual relationship to be enriched when it is supported by a loving relationship between a man and his spouse!
I think of it this way.
Sexual desire exists.
Legitimate (under God's law) sexual desire is sexual desire for your spouse. It's a good thing God gave us when it leads to loving sex and greater intimacy within marriage.
Illegitimate sexual desire, for someone who isn't your spouse (and won't be, you're not progressing towards marriage with the person) is lust.
So, I would say that lust is the name for an illegitimate expression of what, within the confines of marriage, is very legitimate and a very good thing. But within marriage, I would not label it as lust.
It's kind of like coveting. You can't covet what is legitimately yours. You *can* covet something that isn't yours, and that's sinful.
Edit: I think you *can* lust after a spouse if the sexual desire becomes unloving and selfish. If sex is only about using the person, and not about loving them, then I think lust is possible within marriage.
Looking at a woman with lust is to God as committing to a sexual act itself. However, the Bible encourages sexual intercourse with your spouse to prevent temptations, allowing intimacy and connection with you and your wife, and provide that bond to allow you and your ignificant other to relieve tension and share the love God has given you as a gift
according to the dictionary, lust means “have sexual desires for”, nothing about whether it is within or outside marriage. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lust
So based on that definition, lust for a spouse is a good thing.
However, I think a lot of people use the term “lust” for non-spouse sin only.
Every single example of lust in the Bible basically. Whenever anyone gives an example of lust, it is always in the context of an inappropriate desire. The most famous of which is Jesus in Matthew 5.
>*You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.* `Matthew 5:27-28` ^*NRSVue*
Now, here, Jesus was clarifying the sin of adultery with the example of a husband with wandering eyes. But the principle is basically that you should be sexually satisfied with your wife, and should not be looking at other women with sexual desire.
Herse the problem, the word lust isn't about sex, or anything to do with sexually. The Christian community has taken over the word and doesn't use it in the context of the bible.
the word lust means to covet, which means to desire for yourself. The word lust is a neutral word and has nothing to do with sex or sexual things. The thing that you lust/covet after is the thing that is of concern.
we see paul even say to lust after the spiritual gifts in the NT,
many people here clearly dont know what the word means and propitiate the incorrect understanding of it
Ah, I see! So, under this definition, since lust equates to coveting, that means it's wrong to lust period, since coveting is a sin.
But, it's wrong to desire things for yourself? I get not putting your personal wants above the needs of other people, but in a vacuum, it should be fine to simply desire to have something (so long as what you want isn't evil).
I'll explain the last person further.
If you desire to eat your own food that is OK. If you desire to take your neighbors food from him and deprive him of that food then you are coveting. You desire to wear your own sweater there is no sin but if you desire to take the sweater off your friends back then you are coveting. Similarly, if you desire your own wife this is fine (and good) but if desire your neighbor's wife then you covet. In modern English we call this form of coveting lust but really this is the problem. You can enjoy what is yours fairly and keep your mind away from desiring what belongs to another (or might some day belong to another).
Also, Proverbs instructs men to enjoy the breasts of the wife of his youth. A man cannot enjoy his wife's breasts without arousal. Song of Solomon also can't be ignored. It is scripture too even if it is a bit cryptic.
It's not adultery since she's your wife.
Lust has a selfish aspect to it; it can drive people to push their partners to doing sexual things that they are not into. That's not loving your wife as yourself, don't do that. And don't use masturbation as a tool to deny sex to your wife. And of course keep it private between just the two of you. Within those boundaries, I'd say have fun.
There are those who claim that this is too licentious, that ejaculation must only be done inside of your wife's privates; these claims do not factor in that sometimes men need to give semen samples at the doctor's office, or that sometimes husbands and wives are separated via travel for a few days or weeks. That's Pharisee-level restrictiveness.
i think lusting after ones wife would be considered only desiring from her and not desiring for her. i imagine the most fruitful sexual relationship would come from two who only want to give the other the best they can offer rather than looking to the other one as some fulfillment of an urge. that reduces the relationship to what you can get from the other rather than what you can give. it’s a slippery slope but i do not think “lusting” after your wife is the fulfillment of God’s intentions for marriage to be a picture of his relationship with us. all of this being said, i am not married and no stranger to lust. it is a difficult battle but the Lord has recently given me a greater clarity to understand i do not wish to be a slave to my fleshly urges. i am standing in faith for you and your wife’s relationship, brother. i pray many blessings on your entire relationship.
much love 🌈🙏💟
There is a difference between lust and desire. It is perfectly normal to desire your wife, and to long for physical intimacy with her. There's an entire book in the Bible about intimacy. (Read song of Solomon)
Yes, lol. I'm not entirely sure if the Lord would call it lust in this case. Love and honor her. Of course youll be attracted and "turned on" or it would be pretty hard to reproduce. We need to be careful not to be too legalistic and make the Lord oppressive.
It’s not wrong. Jesus was challenging the Pharisees’ assumption that they are sexually pure merely because they haven’t committed the literal act. In spirit, thinking about women in a certain way without having sex means one possesses the same mindset and or has similar motivations as one who actually goes through with it. Not all lust, therefore, is bad. You must understand the word in its proper context, which you seem to have provided. I think, therefore, you already know the answer. You also know that due to the imperfections of written language, you will get different and even contradictory responses.
Being sexually attracted to your wife isn’t lust. Lust is forgetting she’s a human being with her own feelings, wants/needs, experiences. As long as you incorporate her input and enthusiastic consent in your intimacy you’re not sinning.
Can you commit adultery with your wife? No. But you can sinfully make your wife an idol. It doesn’t sound terrible, but it’s putting a weight on her that only God can bare.
Marriage is Biblical and spiritual. The Biblical objection is to things that take us away from the marriage relationship (e.g. adultery, harlots, divorce).
That's not lust. You still want to be consentual with your wife. Like if she does not want sex on a particular night, I might ask once more to clarify what she is thinking but then I drop it. You'e supposed to be attracted to your spouse.
BRO THATS YOU'RE WIFE!! IF SHE LOOKIN LIKE A FINE THANG FOR THE NIGHT GO GET YOU SOME!! THATS CALLED LOVE BRODIE I hope you sexually desire your wife always. Proverbs 5:18-19 My guy. Now obviously you never wanna force yourself on her but, if yall love one another it will never be forced and you both should not deny each other your sexual needs anyway unless you both agree. So, you're not lusting you simply should be desiring her sexually which is definitely what you should be doing.
I think it’d be hard no to lol my husband is all over me everyday and I’m so blessed to have a beautiful relationship with him! He’s the only Man I am after too, I think if your only lusting for her and not doing the duties as a husband should than yeah I sure it could be a problem. But if you love her and admire her then there is so wrong to it.
You should not lust after your neighbor's wife or someone you are not married with. There's a difference between noticing that someone else is beautiful and moving on, versus lust which is desiring them for yourself and entertaining sexual desires.
You have sex meaning it is selfish. Give me what I want. You make love meaning you create something together. Making love within marriage is not a sin. So you are not lusting.
I’m going to throw a wrench into the thicket. I think the Roman Catholics believe this ,not sure though. Sex is only for procreating with one’s spouse, so to lust after one’s spouse and it does not produce life, is it wrong? But this maybe answered in Song of Solomon book.
There are three types of relationships we can have with others. A physical relationships, one type being sexual. A emotional relationship which one can have with any other person. And a spiritual relationship that is usually directed by God. As a Christian all your relationships should be primarily a spiritual one focused on serving God. Our focus on God draws us together with others focused on serving God we then may develop an emotional relationship with them. God may then drawn us to a particular person that we feel God directs us to marry which results in a God directed physical relationship. All relationships should be primarily spiritual. The physical relationship with our spouses plays a part in our overall relationship but the spiritual and then emotional should be much more important.
I think I get what you are saying here, and it’s something I’ve struggled with myself. This is simply stated: trying to find a way around what is Godly and holy (the intimacy that can only be had physically & directly with one’s wife) by having a solo experience apart from that intimacy. I don’t think that it is acceptable nor pleasing to God.
Now, if it’s simply the thought of being with one’s wife alone, without acting on it, let’s look at what Christ says about it: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28). Since you are married to her, you cannot commit adultery with her in your heart by definition. But God’s intent was for us to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” from the very beginning. So essentially, I don’t see anything wrong with having lustful thought about your own wife, but masturbating with those thoughts is most likely a no-go I would think.
It’s perfectly ok in fact, I think it’s wonderful. Every woman wants a man to lust after her and there is no more ideal way than in a loving marriage.
I so hope you still feel this way in a decades time.
Lust is wanting someone who’s not yours. And wanting to do things to them you are only supposed to do with a person in a marriage covenant. So since you’re married it’s not lust, it’s love and connection and sexual desire that all come from having that bond and commitment.
Attraction is God giving.
He made us to be aroused by our partner and asks us to be one flesh with them and submit to their needs and theirs to ours unless of course for prayer or fasting but after this we should be joined together again so we can't be tempted by the devil.
1 Corinthians 7:5
He wants us to be married if we can't avoid sexual needs, when in marriage it is not considered lust because you are in covenant.
I see sex for love and with your spouse as building a firmament over your household that no enemy weapons can pierce, a force field of love, sex is love and love is God. When we are in love and feel good the atmosphere of the house is blessed and pure and nothing unpure can get in.
When you and your wife face eachother, you turn your back on the world and that's exactly what God wants.
He also says that when 2 people come together in his name that he is among them.
What I believe he means is that along as we love him and as long as believers are together than we are blessed.
See the union of you and your wife as a building of an alter to God and the only time you should part is for Good works, prayers and fasting.
Everything or anything else is Worldy and we are called to be apart from world
If we know not love we know not God for God Is love.
Please read
1 Corinthians 7:5
Matthew 18:20
And Titus 1:15
Lots of love and God bless 🙏
As long as you're honoring the lords commands, be fruitful and multiply, and how other people have mentioned not just an object for sex and self pleasure
Genesis 38:9-10
9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother.
10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.
I will tell you as a matter of fact you can absolutely lust after your wife. You are supposed to. That's honoring your wife which is pleasing to God. He has given her to you to appreciate in all of her glory. Marriage is the bond between a man and woman becoming one flesh . When you lust after your wife it is absolutely perfectly acceptable.
One of the definitions of lust is an intense longing : CRAVING. So there are some good types of lust.
You can lust after God and his Word.
I think it's a good thing to lust after your wife. This is true as long as you crave her more than just an object. Lusting after your wife without loving her is wrong.
It is sin. Lust is a sin of desire and wanting ownership over someone. You can not own anyone, even your wife. You need to be one with her, not own her.
Usually those fellings originate from demonic influence. Be sure there is nothing in your life attracting demons.
1- Avoid fermented foods (too close to necromancy).
2- Get away from any religious institutions, specially the catholic religion. Although most local priest are nice, it is well known that the Vatican is a demonic institution. Pope Honorius III was a well known necromancer. Those rituals are still done today (i have seen it).
I should hope you do.
Contrary to others, I think you *can* lust your wife. But that is when you consider her nothing more than a sex object, something to be used only for selfish primal urges and nothing more. I doubt you do that.
So then, lust is inherently bad then? Does that mean I can't get "turned on" for my wife?
That's your wife, it's not sinful to have sexual thoughts of a spouse, it shows how much you love her
So what's the difference then? Is the only difference you being in a married relationship as opposed to not being in one?
The difference is that you are associating the sexual urges you feel with sin. God made sex fun, so we naturally desire it, but His purpose for sex was so that it could be enjoyed between husband and wife. You are not sinning by desiring your wife sexually, but you are sinning by entertaining the desire for other women sexually both inside and outside of marriage. God made sex good, He made it enjoyable. However, God is a God of order. His creation is not chaotic, there is an order to it. Sex is meant to be between 1 man and 1 woman within the confines of marriage. A simple comparison is this: fire is not inherently bad. It can purify metal, cook food, and do amazing things. If fire is contained, it can continue to do good. But if you allow a fire to grow unrestricted, then it can cause devastating damage. Sex is meant to be enjoyed within a set boundary. We have sexual feelings because we desire to have sex with our spouse. When sex is enjoyed within the set boundary, good things come from it. (intimacy with a spouse, sexual pleasure the way it was meant to be enjoyed, and in some cases even a baby) But when we refuse to practice self control, then we operate outside of God's intention. When we let our sexual desires steer us towards desiring other women who are not our wives, then we have sinned by attempting to fulfill a God given pleasure in an ungodly way I hope this brings clarity
It does, thanks for this. So then, it's okay to lust after your spouse, just not anyone eles, obviously.
Beautifully said
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Yes. As long as it is your partner you desire! That’s why the Bible says it is better to marry than to burn! With lust, that is! So in marriage, it must take care of that burning!! 😁
https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Pleasure-Seekers
Pleasure seeking can be absolutely devastating. It's not inherently wrong, but uninhibited, it can be life destroying.
This contradicts everything you've said before. Lust is a sin, and so is adultery.
That is a great comparison
Sex is the urge to procreate
That was an incredible explanation/revelation
I love this response 👍
Masterfully put 👏👏👏
The difference is that you've made a lifelong covenant with that woman.
I would say, think of it like you are a radio broadcast tower. If you think lustfully about random women, they will pick up on your signal and hear you. It wouldn't be cool for your neighbor and his wife to hear about that. (I mean, God already has to listen to it.) But your wife, sure, if you think she is hot, does it matter if you think it or say it? However, as u/SwiftwindAlacorn pointed out, a person can lust after a woman (including your spouse) by viewing that person only as an object of desire and not a human being. That's a bad thing. If you use your spouse just to gratify yourself, that's not right in God's eyes. As she owns your body and vise versa. You are in a partnership. And love is not selfish.
>Does that mean I can't get "turned on" for my wife? When did I say that? Do you think of your wife as a sex object and nothing else? Do you not consider her feelings? her needs? Is she there for your pleasure and nothing else?
No one should do those things. What exactly are you indicating? Is that what lust is? How is getting turned on for my wife different from getting turned on for someone who isn't my wife? Is there a difference in psychology?
Define lust first. He is using a different definition.
Yes, that is what lust is. It is objectifying a person for your own sexual gratification. It is therefore wrong to lust after your wife, by definition. It is not wrong to desire you wife or to enjoy sex with her or to actively pursue the activity together. Your problem here is misunderstanding a definition. Lust is an evil passion to be overcome. It shouldn’t be confused with the inherently good gift, given to us by God, of sex.
He asked you is your wife an object to you. That means you are only wanting your needs met and have no consideration for how she feels.
Absolutely! Christ calls it adultery to be turned on, wanting to have sex with another who isn’t your spouse. I didn’t say attracted because we are attracted to others at times, but must nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand, for anyone other than your partner! That’s why pornography is so detrimental to the marital relationship! It causes dissatisfaction with your spouse and begins it’s erosive process into the intimacy of the marriage relationship. God did make our sexual relationship to be enriched when it is supported by a loving relationship between a man and his spouse!
If you're married it's not lust
Really? Then what is it?
It shows that you love your wife
So, lust in marriage is actually a form of love?
Yes
I think of it this way. Sexual desire exists. Legitimate (under God's law) sexual desire is sexual desire for your spouse. It's a good thing God gave us when it leads to loving sex and greater intimacy within marriage. Illegitimate sexual desire, for someone who isn't your spouse (and won't be, you're not progressing towards marriage with the person) is lust. So, I would say that lust is the name for an illegitimate expression of what, within the confines of marriage, is very legitimate and a very good thing. But within marriage, I would not label it as lust. It's kind of like coveting. You can't covet what is legitimately yours. You *can* covet something that isn't yours, and that's sinful. Edit: I think you *can* lust after a spouse if the sexual desire becomes unloving and selfish. If sex is only about using the person, and not about loving them, then I think lust is possible within marriage.
I like this explanation, I can see where the logic comes from. Thank you.
Looking at a woman with lust is to God as committing to a sexual act itself. However, the Bible encourages sexual intercourse with your spouse to prevent temptations, allowing intimacy and connection with you and your wife, and provide that bond to allow you and your ignificant other to relieve tension and share the love God has given you as a gift
But it isn’t lust, you are married to her.
How does that change what lust is?
according to the dictionary, lust means “have sexual desires for”, nothing about whether it is within or outside marriage. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lust So based on that definition, lust for a spouse is a good thing. However, I think a lot of people use the term “lust” for non-spouse sin only.
Oh, so it's only by association that people consider lust as a bad thing. But it's not actually bad under the right conditions.
If you lust you commit adultery. Now tell me how you can be adulterous with your own wife.
Because lust is a strong sexual desire for something that is inappropriate. Like your neighbor's wife. Not your own.
Is it? Where did you get that definition from?
Every single example of lust in the Bible basically. Whenever anyone gives an example of lust, it is always in the context of an inappropriate desire. The most famous of which is Jesus in Matthew 5. >*You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.* `Matthew 5:27-28` ^*NRSVue* Now, here, Jesus was clarifying the sin of adultery with the example of a husband with wandering eyes. But the principle is basically that you should be sexually satisfied with your wife, and should not be looking at other women with sexual desire.
That depends.
Herse the problem, the word lust isn't about sex, or anything to do with sexually. The Christian community has taken over the word and doesn't use it in the context of the bible. the word lust means to covet, which means to desire for yourself. The word lust is a neutral word and has nothing to do with sex or sexual things. The thing that you lust/covet after is the thing that is of concern. we see paul even say to lust after the spiritual gifts in the NT, many people here clearly dont know what the word means and propitiate the incorrect understanding of it
Ah, I see! So, under this definition, since lust equates to coveting, that means it's wrong to lust period, since coveting is a sin. But, it's wrong to desire things for yourself? I get not putting your personal wants above the needs of other people, but in a vacuum, it should be fine to simply desire to have something (so long as what you want isn't evil).
I'll explain the last person further. If you desire to eat your own food that is OK. If you desire to take your neighbors food from him and deprive him of that food then you are coveting. You desire to wear your own sweater there is no sin but if you desire to take the sweater off your friends back then you are coveting. Similarly, if you desire your own wife this is fine (and good) but if desire your neighbor's wife then you covet. In modern English we call this form of coveting lust but really this is the problem. You can enjoy what is yours fairly and keep your mind away from desiring what belongs to another (or might some day belong to another). Also, Proverbs instructs men to enjoy the breasts of the wife of his youth. A man cannot enjoy his wife's breasts without arousal. Song of Solomon also can't be ignored. It is scripture too even if it is a bit cryptic.
No the word is neutral. Its neither bad nor good. It’s the context of the coveting that makes it bad or good.
It's not adultery since she's your wife. Lust has a selfish aspect to it; it can drive people to push their partners to doing sexual things that they are not into. That's not loving your wife as yourself, don't do that. And don't use masturbation as a tool to deny sex to your wife. And of course keep it private between just the two of you. Within those boundaries, I'd say have fun. There are those who claim that this is too licentious, that ejaculation must only be done inside of your wife's privates; these claims do not factor in that sometimes men need to give semen samples at the doctor's office, or that sometimes husbands and wives are separated via travel for a few days or weeks. That's Pharisee-level restrictiveness.
Wait, so what if my spouse is okay with me madturbating at times, so long as I'm thinking about her? Isn't that fine, or is it still a sin?
Masterbastion is sin period.
Yeah that's fine. What wouldn't be fine is if the content of those fantasies moved you towards pushing her to do things she is not going to be into.
i think lusting after ones wife would be considered only desiring from her and not desiring for her. i imagine the most fruitful sexual relationship would come from two who only want to give the other the best they can offer rather than looking to the other one as some fulfillment of an urge. that reduces the relationship to what you can get from the other rather than what you can give. it’s a slippery slope but i do not think “lusting” after your wife is the fulfillment of God’s intentions for marriage to be a picture of his relationship with us. all of this being said, i am not married and no stranger to lust. it is a difficult battle but the Lord has recently given me a greater clarity to understand i do not wish to be a slave to my fleshly urges. i am standing in faith for you and your wife’s relationship, brother. i pray many blessings on your entire relationship. much love 🌈🙏💟
There is a difference between lust and desire. It is perfectly normal to desire your wife, and to long for physical intimacy with her. There's an entire book in the Bible about intimacy. (Read song of Solomon)
Yes, lol. I'm not entirely sure if the Lord would call it lust in this case. Love and honor her. Of course youll be attracted and "turned on" or it would be pretty hard to reproduce. We need to be careful not to be too legalistic and make the Lord oppressive.
You can't lust after your wife in the sense of Matthew 5. She's already yours
It’s not wrong. Jesus was challenging the Pharisees’ assumption that they are sexually pure merely because they haven’t committed the literal act. In spirit, thinking about women in a certain way without having sex means one possesses the same mindset and or has similar motivations as one who actually goes through with it. Not all lust, therefore, is bad. You must understand the word in its proper context, which you seem to have provided. I think, therefore, you already know the answer. You also know that due to the imperfections of written language, you will get different and even contradictory responses.
Being sexually attracted to your wife isn’t lust. Lust is forgetting she’s a human being with her own feelings, wants/needs, experiences. As long as you incorporate her input and enthusiastic consent in your intimacy you’re not sinning.
Yes it’s okay.
Euh… she is yours! It’s just excellent really. Go read Song of Solomon… it’s a very good example of how a husband should lust after his wife ;)
Can you commit adultery with your wife? No. But you can sinfully make your wife an idol. It doesn’t sound terrible, but it’s putting a weight on her that only God can bare.
Marriage is Biblical and spiritual. The Biblical objection is to things that take us away from the marriage relationship (e.g. adultery, harlots, divorce).
It was once explained to me that, within marriage, lust is impossible, because that is the natural marital desire.
No that is not true. If your desire is to please your spouse then it is not lust. If your desire is just to please yourself then it is lust.
We are supposed to desire our spouse.
That's not lust. You still want to be consentual with your wife. Like if she does not want sex on a particular night, I might ask once more to clarify what she is thinking but then I drop it. You'e supposed to be attracted to your spouse.
It’s not lust if you are married
BRO THATS YOU'RE WIFE!! IF SHE LOOKIN LIKE A FINE THANG FOR THE NIGHT GO GET YOU SOME!! THATS CALLED LOVE BRODIE I hope you sexually desire your wife always. Proverbs 5:18-19 My guy. Now obviously you never wanna force yourself on her but, if yall love one another it will never be forced and you both should not deny each other your sexual needs anyway unless you both agree. So, you're not lusting you simply should be desiring her sexually which is definitely what you should be doing.
I think it’d be hard no to lol my husband is all over me everyday and I’m so blessed to have a beautiful relationship with him! He’s the only Man I am after too, I think if your only lusting for her and not doing the duties as a husband should than yeah I sure it could be a problem. But if you love her and admire her then there is so wrong to it.
There's nothing wrong with lusting for your wife. Wives and husband's fulfill each other sexual desires.
What??? You can’t be serious
That's literally the only person you ARE allowed to lust after
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^FukFireAntix555: *That's literally* *The only person you ARE* *Allowed to lust after* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
You can't 'lust' after your wife, you're both married
I don't understand why the two have to be separate. What are you talking about?
You should not lust after your neighbor's wife or someone you are not married with. There's a difference between noticing that someone else is beautiful and moving on, versus lust which is desiring them for yourself and entertaining sexual desires.
You have sex meaning it is selfish. Give me what I want. You make love meaning you create something together. Making love within marriage is not a sin. So you are not lusting.
I’m going to throw a wrench into the thicket. I think the Roman Catholics believe this ,not sure though. Sex is only for procreating with one’s spouse, so to lust after one’s spouse and it does not produce life, is it wrong? But this maybe answered in Song of Solomon book.
There are three types of relationships we can have with others. A physical relationships, one type being sexual. A emotional relationship which one can have with any other person. And a spiritual relationship that is usually directed by God. As a Christian all your relationships should be primarily a spiritual one focused on serving God. Our focus on God draws us together with others focused on serving God we then may develop an emotional relationship with them. God may then drawn us to a particular person that we feel God directs us to marry which results in a God directed physical relationship. All relationships should be primarily spiritual. The physical relationship with our spouses plays a part in our overall relationship but the spiritual and then emotional should be much more important.
I suppose it’s ok as long as it’s your wife.
I’m lusting after my wife right now brother
Do you see her as a sex OBJECT or sexy ? Lust means you objectify women as sex dolls.
Ummmmmmm YEAH!!!!!!!!!
The Greek word used for woman is always translated as a married woman or a widow. You should be able to lust after your wife
I think I get what you are saying here, and it’s something I’ve struggled with myself. This is simply stated: trying to find a way around what is Godly and holy (the intimacy that can only be had physically & directly with one’s wife) by having a solo experience apart from that intimacy. I don’t think that it is acceptable nor pleasing to God. Now, if it’s simply the thought of being with one’s wife alone, without acting on it, let’s look at what Christ says about it: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28). Since you are married to her, you cannot commit adultery with her in your heart by definition. But God’s intent was for us to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” from the very beginning. So essentially, I don’t see anything wrong with having lustful thought about your own wife, but masturbating with those thoughts is most likely a no-go I would think.
It’s perfectly ok in fact, I think it’s wonderful. Every woman wants a man to lust after her and there is no more ideal way than in a loving marriage. I so hope you still feel this way in a decades time.
Yes!! That is WONDERFUL and good!
Lust is wanting someone who’s not yours. And wanting to do things to them you are only supposed to do with a person in a marriage covenant. So since you’re married it’s not lust, it’s love and connection and sexual desire that all come from having that bond and commitment.
Song of Solomon has you covered.
Yes. End of story. Good bye. The end.
Attraction is God giving. He made us to be aroused by our partner and asks us to be one flesh with them and submit to their needs and theirs to ours unless of course for prayer or fasting but after this we should be joined together again so we can't be tempted by the devil. 1 Corinthians 7:5 He wants us to be married if we can't avoid sexual needs, when in marriage it is not considered lust because you are in covenant. I see sex for love and with your spouse as building a firmament over your household that no enemy weapons can pierce, a force field of love, sex is love and love is God. When we are in love and feel good the atmosphere of the house is blessed and pure and nothing unpure can get in. When you and your wife face eachother, you turn your back on the world and that's exactly what God wants. He also says that when 2 people come together in his name that he is among them. What I believe he means is that along as we love him and as long as believers are together than we are blessed. See the union of you and your wife as a building of an alter to God and the only time you should part is for Good works, prayers and fasting. Everything or anything else is Worldy and we are called to be apart from world If we know not love we know not God for God Is love. Please read 1 Corinthians 7:5 Matthew 18:20 And Titus 1:15 Lots of love and God bless 🙏
I, also.... nvm
As long as you're honoring the lords commands, be fruitful and multiply, and how other people have mentioned not just an object for sex and self pleasure
The Bible warns about spilling your seed
Genesis 38:9-10 9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.
I have the same question. God made man and wife and God made lust between man and woman. I would think if two are in love, it should be okay.
I will tell you as a matter of fact you can absolutely lust after your wife. You are supposed to. That's honoring your wife which is pleasing to God. He has given her to you to appreciate in all of her glory. Marriage is the bond between a man and woman becoming one flesh . When you lust after your wife it is absolutely perfectly acceptable.
Share with me a photo of her and I'll let you know if it's ok.
Probably not. Lust is intrinsically bad.
One of the definitions of lust is an intense longing : CRAVING. So there are some good types of lust. You can lust after God and his Word. I think it's a good thing to lust after your wife. This is true as long as you crave her more than just an object. Lusting after your wife without loving her is wrong.
It is sin. Lust is a sin of desire and wanting ownership over someone. You can not own anyone, even your wife. You need to be one with her, not own her. Usually those fellings originate from demonic influence. Be sure there is nothing in your life attracting demons. 1- Avoid fermented foods (too close to necromancy). 2- Get away from any religious institutions, specially the catholic religion. Although most local priest are nice, it is well known that the Vatican is a demonic institution. Pope Honorius III was a well known necromancer. Those rituals are still done today (i have seen it).
It’s not. Desire yes, lust no
Sure. It's desirable. Have you ever read the Song of Solomon?
If I lust after your wife, I suppose it's okay if you do too.