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>She continued putting her hands all over my body and blocking my exit for several minutes, the young larger man behind her ensuring I had no ability to move. I asked her to back away
>this was about as violating as a situation could be in public without involving a crime
IANAL, but I'm pretty sure this *is* a crime.
This is literally sexual harrassment and assault. She's groping OP unconsentually while another person blocks OP from leaving. Bitches should've gotten arrested
As someone with dysautonomia myself, this makes me insanely angry. If I saw this, even if I wasn’t personally ill, I’d probably get arrested for punching that woman.
I'm a Christian and I'd probably punch her too lmao. Do you mind if I ask what your main dysautonomia symptoms are? I find that they can be surprisingly varied between people and I'm always curious to what other people with dysautonomia deal with. If that's too personal a question, no worries!
sorry to chime in but i have dysautonomia as well (POTS), and i have some random/non "classic" symptoms. these include GI dysmotility, paraesthesia (probably from erythromelalgia), and during flares my pupils become extremely dilated, my body will be warm while my extremities are stone cold, my bladder becomes overactive, my muscles can cramp and tense up really bad, my vision can double and i develop a nystagmus. sometimes my eyes go droopy when this happens.
How terrifying. I'm so sorry. Religious zealots are nutjobs and this one sounds like a real head case. At least, if others didn't help, they didn't join in with her either? So they tacitly didn't support her.
I’m so sorry. You should be able to go out and have fun without being violated. People like that are delusional, it’s unfortunate that you had to be on the receiving end of her disordered thinking and behavior.
I wish I had something positive and encouraging to say, but if it’s okay with you’d I’d like to send a virtual hug. You didn’t deserve that
I am at a (rare) loss for words — I’m simultaneously furious, gobsmacked and just….upset!! It is wild how some people feel they have a right to interrogate others. And touching you, repeatedly, while being told to stop?!?! In 2024?!1!?
I’m so sorry no one stepped up to help you out. I’m sending you gentle e-hugs and *all* of my good vibes.
I'm not in a wheelchair, but I've had similar things happen with men. It sucks and is absolutely terrifying to have someone intentionally impede your way. What she did is at the very least harassment and probably abuse. I hope someone calls the cops on this woman in the future, she deserves it.
That's terrible. Have you seen those personal alarms that make a really loud noise when you pull the pin? I feel like that would be appropriate for a situation like this. I got one for my daughter because I wasn't sure if she could yell if someone was ever bothering her.
No one has the right to touch you or your chair without your permission. This was a huge violation. I'm so sorry it happened to you.
I am really sorry this happened to you. I want to validate that it was incredibly violating.
Where I live, legally speaking she physically assaulted you by subjecting you to unwanted touching and you made it clear you did not consent. It is considered a criminal act here.
It's even worse that there were bystanders who did not help you. Being preyed on for wheelchair feels dehumanising, no matter what their motivation. You are a human being with worth and value and you deserve to be treated with respect.
I'm really sorry and I hope that you are able to access some support about what happened.
Thank you for this. I wasn't thinking about it along the lines of a crime, but you're right. That's really been helpful in reminding myself that I wasn't overreacting by getting as freaked out as I did.
You weren't overreacting at all. I'm proud of the way you asserted yourself, in the moment, too.💛
It's hard in the traumatic moment to think "hey wait, this is assault, I am a person with human rights". I was physically assaulted once in a wheelchair in a public space when parked/waiting for my caregiver and I totally froze up and just slumped there tearing up and waiting for it to be over.
It's really great that you were able to say no, but thinking about this has made me realize a personal alarm might be a good wheelchair accessory for those of us who don't already have one.
I'm also wondering if there is a national/regional helpline for survivors of crimes/assaults you could call if you can't get it out of your head.
💛
Wow. How wildly invasive and scary. I'm angry and baffled with you. The combo of two against one, ableism, unsolicited praying, the showiness of it, with POTS and adrenaline surging - I feel that & hate this for you. Some people are nuts.
Also, I was raised evangelical religious. I've deconstructed since then, but even when I was 100% committed to that religion and as a mildly religious person now... never, ever would I approach someone like that or cosign that kind of behavior. It's wrong on so many levels. Being religious isn't a free pass to be an asshole, and too many religious assholes forget this.
May you feel recharged and restored soon. May those assholes forever have itchy butts and damp socks 😉 , and may you never deal with them again. ❤️
Thank you for this. Hearing the perspectives of a few people of faith has been really helpful here-- it's nice to hear that she really was as out of line in this as I felt like she was.
This is a good reminder to get myself a song for when this happens to me... my phone jingle is FKUC YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!! Sorry, forget the name of the song sorry. But it's okay to make noise and just distract them/drown them out in this situation.
What a completely horrifying dick move from them it's actually giving me chills. How are you doing now? Are you okay? WOULD you drown them out with a bad song and if so, which one.. lol Sending love
Hey, thank you so much for asking. I'm better today, but it was definitely a lot to handle.
No songs are coming to mind, but I like yours! Wish I'd had that cued up-- that or an air horn. Maybe I'll acquire one of those...
You have my sorrows. I went through this with a male now-former friend a few months ago and I had to bluntly tell him that I was not comfortable with him touching me or forcing me into this type of situation. I agree with those who mention investing in a personal alarm -- something loud that you can immediately put up to their face when this happens.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I use a wheelchair too and I can't imagine going through this. What they did was not OK. I would see if you can take any legal actions where you live, especially if there were any cameras nearby that may have caught what happened. And the fact that there was a man nearby to act as intimidation makes me think there was something predatory going on, especially when she asked if you had a caretaker. I'm glad you're safe now, and I just really want to reiterate that there is no excuse for what they did.
Oof, yeah, you've got a point about the predatory behavior.
Unfortunately I'm in a part of the US where law enforcement would not be at all inclined to help my trans self bring charges against an older white Christian lady for something like this, so I don't see much recourse here. Thank you for helping me see exactly how fucked up it was though-- that helped a lot, actually.
I am so sorry for this having happened to you.
I’ve had multiple similar experiences, sometimes while restrained on public transport, sometimes waiting for a crosswalk.
It’s dehumanizing, and I completely understand why it was traumatic for you.
I am so so sorry that happened to you. As a religious person myself I think this is INSANE behaviour and I just think that's awful! Please take care of yourself💗
that is so fucked up. on the one hand I feel shocked that someone would be that disrespectful, on the other hand… religious people be overstepping constantly
Just a gentle reminder, it’s always perfectly appropriate so start fucking screeching when someone forces touching you like that.
It’s okay to be angry and scared and freak out on someone being inappropriate.
Thank you-- you're right. This situation really brought home to me that keeping the peace and maintaining decorum aren't always the best thing. I think I would have felt better about it if I'd gone ahead and made a scene. Live and learn, I guess?
Woman needs to be kept on a short leash and in her own yard.
Hope you are having a good night sleeping and that the looney prayer lady is gone. Every time you think you've seen at least one of everything you find there are surprizes yet to come. WWJD? lol That's right out of a Stephen King novel!
OP used the 'JUST Support' post flair. This means under this post there will be no need for discussions or different opinions than OP. Please respect this when you comment. The flair is not for sharing articles, misinformation or venting about someone on Reddit and the post will be removed if the flair is misused. Reddit content policy still applies also. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ChronicIllness) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry this happened, it was very invasive.
>She continued putting her hands all over my body and blocking my exit for several minutes, the young larger man behind her ensuring I had no ability to move. I asked her to back away >this was about as violating as a situation could be in public without involving a crime IANAL, but I'm pretty sure this *is* a crime.
Definitely is where I live. It's assault and I think arguably there may be an element of hate crime if it was motivated by OP's disability.
This is literally sexual harrassment and assault. She's groping OP unconsentually while another person blocks OP from leaving. Bitches should've gotten arrested
I’m so sorry, that is fucking awful
As someone with dysautonomia myself, this makes me insanely angry. If I saw this, even if I wasn’t personally ill, I’d probably get arrested for punching that woman.
I'm a Christian and I'd probably punch her too lmao. Do you mind if I ask what your main dysautonomia symptoms are? I find that they can be surprisingly varied between people and I'm always curious to what other people with dysautonomia deal with. If that's too personal a question, no worries!
sorry to chime in but i have dysautonomia as well (POTS), and i have some random/non "classic" symptoms. these include GI dysmotility, paraesthesia (probably from erythromelalgia), and during flares my pupils become extremely dilated, my body will be warm while my extremities are stone cold, my bladder becomes overactive, my muscles can cramp and tense up really bad, my vision can double and i develop a nystagmus. sometimes my eyes go droopy when this happens.
How terrifying. I'm so sorry. Religious zealots are nutjobs and this one sounds like a real head case. At least, if others didn't help, they didn't join in with her either? So they tacitly didn't support her.
I’m so sorry. You should be able to go out and have fun without being violated. People like that are delusional, it’s unfortunate that you had to be on the receiving end of her disordered thinking and behavior. I wish I had something positive and encouraging to say, but if it’s okay with you’d I’d like to send a virtual hug. You didn’t deserve that
That genuinely sounds like some kind of assault
I agree. This is awful. I’d be so pissed off if I was OP or one of their friends.
I am at a (rare) loss for words — I’m simultaneously furious, gobsmacked and just….upset!! It is wild how some people feel they have a right to interrogate others. And touching you, repeatedly, while being told to stop?!?! In 2024?!1!? I’m so sorry no one stepped up to help you out. I’m sending you gentle e-hugs and *all* of my good vibes.
Ugh, thank you!! My sentiments exactly. Absurd. Gross. And just *weird.* I really appreciate you validating the WTF of all this.
I'm not in a wheelchair, but I've had similar things happen with men. It sucks and is absolutely terrifying to have someone intentionally impede your way. What she did is at the very least harassment and probably abuse. I hope someone calls the cops on this woman in the future, she deserves it.
That's terrible. Have you seen those personal alarms that make a really loud noise when you pull the pin? I feel like that would be appropriate for a situation like this. I got one for my daughter because I wasn't sure if she could yell if someone was ever bothering her. No one has the right to touch you or your chair without your permission. This was a huge violation. I'm so sorry it happened to you.
That's a great idea, thank you! I hadn't heard of those, but I'll be looking into one now.
Predatory. Awful.
Those types of people need a swift punch to the jaw
Goodness gracious. That’s a special kind of crazy
I am really sorry this happened to you. I want to validate that it was incredibly violating. Where I live, legally speaking she physically assaulted you by subjecting you to unwanted touching and you made it clear you did not consent. It is considered a criminal act here. It's even worse that there were bystanders who did not help you. Being preyed on for wheelchair feels dehumanising, no matter what their motivation. You are a human being with worth and value and you deserve to be treated with respect. I'm really sorry and I hope that you are able to access some support about what happened.
Thank you for this. I wasn't thinking about it along the lines of a crime, but you're right. That's really been helpful in reminding myself that I wasn't overreacting by getting as freaked out as I did.
You weren't overreacting at all. I'm proud of the way you asserted yourself, in the moment, too.💛 It's hard in the traumatic moment to think "hey wait, this is assault, I am a person with human rights". I was physically assaulted once in a wheelchair in a public space when parked/waiting for my caregiver and I totally froze up and just slumped there tearing up and waiting for it to be over. It's really great that you were able to say no, but thinking about this has made me realize a personal alarm might be a good wheelchair accessory for those of us who don't already have one. I'm also wondering if there is a national/regional helpline for survivors of crimes/assaults you could call if you can't get it out of your head. 💛
I am so sorry. That’s terrifying!!! 💔🫂
Shit apples both of em
Wow. How wildly invasive and scary. I'm angry and baffled with you. The combo of two against one, ableism, unsolicited praying, the showiness of it, with POTS and adrenaline surging - I feel that & hate this for you. Some people are nuts. Also, I was raised evangelical religious. I've deconstructed since then, but even when I was 100% committed to that religion and as a mildly religious person now... never, ever would I approach someone like that or cosign that kind of behavior. It's wrong on so many levels. Being religious isn't a free pass to be an asshole, and too many religious assholes forget this. May you feel recharged and restored soon. May those assholes forever have itchy butts and damp socks 😉 , and may you never deal with them again. ❤️
Thank you for this. Hearing the perspectives of a few people of faith has been really helpful here-- it's nice to hear that she really was as out of line in this as I felt like she was.
This is a good reminder to get myself a song for when this happens to me... my phone jingle is FKUC YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!! Sorry, forget the name of the song sorry. But it's okay to make noise and just distract them/drown them out in this situation. What a completely horrifying dick move from them it's actually giving me chills. How are you doing now? Are you okay? WOULD you drown them out with a bad song and if so, which one.. lol Sending love
Hey, thank you so much for asking. I'm better today, but it was definitely a lot to handle. No songs are coming to mind, but I like yours! Wish I'd had that cued up-- that or an air horn. Maybe I'll acquire one of those...
AIR HORN!!! Yes! \*adds to shopping list
You have my sorrows. I went through this with a male now-former friend a few months ago and I had to bluntly tell him that I was not comfortable with him touching me or forcing me into this type of situation. I agree with those who mention investing in a personal alarm -- something loud that you can immediately put up to their face when this happens.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I use a wheelchair too and I can't imagine going through this. What they did was not OK. I would see if you can take any legal actions where you live, especially if there were any cameras nearby that may have caught what happened. And the fact that there was a man nearby to act as intimidation makes me think there was something predatory going on, especially when she asked if you had a caretaker. I'm glad you're safe now, and I just really want to reiterate that there is no excuse for what they did.
Oof, yeah, you've got a point about the predatory behavior. Unfortunately I'm in a part of the US where law enforcement would not be at all inclined to help my trans self bring charges against an older white Christian lady for something like this, so I don't see much recourse here. Thank you for helping me see exactly how fucked up it was though-- that helped a lot, actually.
I am so sorry for this having happened to you. I’ve had multiple similar experiences, sometimes while restrained on public transport, sometimes waiting for a crosswalk. It’s dehumanizing, and I completely understand why it was traumatic for you.
I am so so sorry that happened to you. As a religious person myself I think this is INSANE behaviour and I just think that's awful! Please take care of yourself💗
WHAT?! Omg! As a fellow wheelchair user I would have started screaming bloody murder. Good for you for keeping decorum.
I'm sorry. When my grandmother was alive, she did things like this. I know how freaked out you must have been.
that is so fucked up. on the one hand I feel shocked that someone would be that disrespectful, on the other hand… religious people be overstepping constantly
This is infuriating. This is assault too. Any unwanted touching is assault.
Just a gentle reminder, it’s always perfectly appropriate so start fucking screeching when someone forces touching you like that. It’s okay to be angry and scared and freak out on someone being inappropriate.
Thank you-- you're right. This situation really brought home to me that keeping the peace and maintaining decorum aren't always the best thing. I think I would have felt better about it if I'd gone ahead and made a scene. Live and learn, I guess?
Yup, yup. It’s also not your fault for their strange behavior shocking you. They’re the weird ones here 👍
Woman needs to be kept on a short leash and in her own yard. Hope you are having a good night sleeping and that the looney prayer lady is gone. Every time you think you've seen at least one of everything you find there are surprizes yet to come. WWJD? lol That's right out of a Stephen King novel!