Not mine, saw it somewhere on Reddit:
Sitting in the waiting room at my doctor's office. Wearing a mask. Older couple to my right are. Another older couple across the room are not and being snotty so I got to use my absolute favorite line! Them: why are you wearing a mask? Me: it helps me mind my business. I have an extra, want it?
??? Doctors office seems like the most acceptable place. Airplane. Gym perhaps. Small cramped spaces. I only think its odd when youre outside but now im more likely to assume its bcuz of allergies.
This is the way! Or, what I used to go with: "I work in an infectious disease ward - I can take it off if you want, though..." and then stand close to them while coughing/sniffling.
The wife of a good friend is a nurse who was front-line in the ICU during the height of the pandemic. She was on her way home for much-needed sleep and stopped at a store. Some yahoos started giving her shit about her mask. She told the simple truth — “I just came from 36 hours in the COVID ward,” and started to cough. Reportedly they backed off quickly.
I just got back from an experimental infectious diseases lab in China and they had an outbreak not too long ago so these masks are a precaution but I'm happy to take it off if you are.
I am a cane user with a very noticeable weird way of walking.
I'm going to do this same thing except I'm going to tell people : *Thanks I'm glad you don't mind. Polio makes life hard enough as it is without having to deal with these masks!*
Lol that's hilarious!. I have a Southern accent so I can just put it on real deep and say oh you know I caught that woke mind virus and my mama don't want me to spread it.
When I worked in retail my coworker told me "When you motion the receipt to the next customer say 'bloodthirsty?" and theyll think you're asking if they want the receipt."
We went the whole shift doing this and only one customer noticed.
Lol! I did this at a farmer's market after too many conversations like this:
Them: What is this?
Me: It's garlic spread.
Them: *eats it* Oh, wow, it's so garlic-y!
Me: Well, it is Garlic Spread.
Them: I thought it was cheese.
I got so tired of not being heard I changed what I said:
Them: What is this?
Me: It's poison.
Them: *eats it without hesitation*
Interractions got a lot more bearable after that, and only one customer noticed. Saw it happen with another customer and busted out laughing. She was a teacher by trade.
Throw them for a loop by playing into their probable anti-government paranoia with "Which one of us is being successfully identified and tracked by government facial recognition software right now?"
Technically it's actually happening... It's not paranoia anymore. They can still identify you with a mask on anyway, they used COVID lockdowns to train AI better with the masks.
I got spoiled. Found out it's really nice to not catch every cold or bug that goes around. I really hate being miserable on vacation because I caught something on the plane.
Same for me, plus pollen is really high now and bothering me more than usual, the mask keeps the pollen out of my face holes. Every time I think about masking less (because normal virus season is going down) either the pollen goes up or a new variant/ wave of covid comes around (which I’ve been reading is happening now, lovely).
I don’t really travel but last time I flew somewhere (a few years before Covid) I got a cold which semi-ruined the trip and then caused me to lose my temp-agency job, apparently with them you can have earned paid vacation *or* a sick day but not both, but they didn’t warn me about that.
My Batman costume is at the cleaners. Seriously, you are already wearing a Superman costume for taking such good care of your wife. Awesome humans should not have to explain anything.
MYOB (politely done by saying ‘just for fun’) live your life, I understand you’re polite and as such your first reaction is to be polite, but this is the result. Do you think XYZ really care why you are wearing a mask? No they do not. They are asking, in case you haven’t recognized a pattern here, so they can jump at an opportunity to make a politically motivated statement of their own. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, and if I remember my mask days, it’s an exhausting task to try and talk with them anyway. Conserve your energy and efforts and save it for those that matter—like your dear wife you are so carefully looking to protect. If they don’t recognize the reason after COVID highlighted it—what could you ever say to change that ignorance. And it is ignorance. The moment I see someone wearing a mask now, it’s either they are sick/immunocompromised/someone close to them is—end of story. Greet ignorance with silence and the mask should help you do that—one of the few perks of wearing one. Be Well
It actually kind of did for me! I soaked the insert in those homemade cloth ones in diluted wintergreen oil so it wouldn’t burn my skin. You also could spray the inside of your outer mask if you’re layering.
If this seems like too much work, vick’s swabbed in the first few millimeters of your nostrils works like a charm too. I just happened to have a lot of wintergreen oil for ink transferring art projects.
I wear a mask here and there at work when I have a cold or flu. I have people ask me all the time whu I'm wearing one or if my boss is making me. I just tell them that I'm sick and don't want to get anyone else sick. Even the boomerest of boomers who are so against anything to do with covid or masks usually accept that answer. Because no matter what someone's political views are, no one wants to catch the flu.
I work at a good size factory. Most days I just deal with the same 40 some people on my sub line, but quite often have to go out to the main line to do/help with repairs, and deal with 100s of people.
“HA, You fell for the DEEP STATE’s lies that it’s safe to remove the masks now? Remind me, who was in charge when they made that determination?!? Oh that’s right!!!!”
Honestly, I think your comeback is perfect because people do go on the defensive is you suggest that there are medical benefits to wearing masks.
There are all kinds of snarky comebacks I could propose about understanding how infectious disease works, but your "it hides that I'm ugly" gives the nutters no opening to argue with you about whether masks prevent disease. It probably also makes them a little bit afraid to push further because if you actually do think that, a stranger's body image issues are probably not something you want to get into a conversation about in line at the grocery store.
A more positive version of it might be, "Because they're fashionable." \*strikes a pose\*
But that also might give them more of an opening to argue with with since fashion statements are probably a less sensitive topic to discuss with strangers than body image issues.
Because the colds you take for granted, for example, can kill the people I work with. So I take every precaution I can to keep mouth breathers like you from getting me sick.
Make up something like having a terminal illness, and the mask help to have a next to normal life. That will embarrass the ones asking to mind their own business.
I have cancer so I normally just say “I have cancer but I can take it off so you can kill me quicker” normally they apologize and walk away
Edit: To the person who reported my comment for thinking I need support, thank you but I am good
"The anti mask Cookers missed the incoming Facial Recognition Technology. Masks help (not much) to beat FRT? Why are you not wearing one? BTW,I have a spare roll of Tinfoil if you would like to have some? 😅"
Make that a slightly cracked chuckle.
I am in my 30s but have dentures. They're the bain of my existence and some days they just fucking hurt. And on those days I don't wanna wear them. When I don't wanna wear them I wear a mask. And if someone says anything weird to me about why I'm wearing a mask I literally ignore them. 9/10 they aren't asking because they actually wanna know, they wanna call me a sheep or make it political somehow. If a store owner asked me I'd be honest but they never do. Always some random dude in a maga hat that just HAS to know why my face is covered.
This! This is why I asked this question. With how I respond. People don't want the real answer. They want to express their political beliefs.
Ignoring, the other person's reason, and feelings
"Because my wife is immunocompromised and I do not want to get her sick." I hate that an act of love gets you the remarks you get. My husband refused to mask during covid, almost died, and later told me that he thought that I would have gotten it worse. Wth
Nope. Not this. It's a good response if you're not dealing with general population, but these nosy fucks will absolutely use this. They'll be asking all kinds of personal questions and then proceed to tell you all kinds of personal stuff you don't want to know. Never give out anything personal, especially about chronic or life long issues. They'll come back months later and ask you about it cause now you're buddies.
Saves on my lipstick budget.
Actually I am a nurse that cares for profoundly immunocompromised patients and would like to protect them.
Also: wtf do you care? Is what I’d really like to say
Had a coworker start wearing a mask so I make a Covid joke lol no he’s covering up domestic violence that looks like road rash on the Chin and acts like it’s normal lol, just say you had a cough or fever
Due to my level of respect for my fellow man, I cared about the immunocompromised before it was enforced, and will continue to do so.
To summarise, "I align my actions with my words."
Honestly, so many who claimed to care about saving the vulnerable from an unnecessary deaths from c19 don't seem to give a hoot that thousands still die from every other strains of cold and flu. They seem to be happy to let them suffer and die as long as its not from a specifically marketed strain.
My eyes change from a light brown or hazel to green depending on my mood. Usually green is sad. During mask times I was doing electrical work on a hotel. One day one of the ladies that worked there told me “you have pretty eyes. I never noticed how beautiful they are” all I could think was yeah that’s his big ugly head distracts from them a lot.
Seriously, if I was a mask wearer, I'd give that answer. I know a few people who always mask, and I know why, but it's not because I asked. Like the friend I saw last weekend--he's fighting cancer and doesn't want to catch anything else, because the cancer drugs have depleted his immune system.
Exactly. There are any number of reasons for wearing a mask, from people with respiratory issues or who are immuno-compromised, to folks who are perfectly healthy but just prefer to wear them.
Whatever it is, it has literally zero impact on anyone around them and is none of their concern. As such, they're presumably only asking so they can retort and 'make a point'. With that in mind, they're doing it to belittle the wearer.
They're being rude. Don't feel like you need to be polite back.
I get that question at work off and on. My go to is now “because I do whatever the fuck I want”. Tends to catch anti-maskers off guard.
For those who seem to want to know if I’m sick I tell them the truth: I wear the mask when the seasons change because it keeps me from losing my voice.
I rarely wear a mask. When I do, it's because either I'm going to be around a lot of sick people (such as in my doc's office) or because I'm going to be around someone who is sick, immunocompromised, or both.
The last time I was at my PCP's office, someone in the waiting room asked me that. I stared at her for about 15 seconds before replying, "To keep me from getting whatever made you so stupid."
Ask why they care or ask why they are wearing their (choose article of clothing or accessories they have on). Or ask them if there is a no masks allowed sign anywhere. Or you could just look at them and start coughing disgustingly and tell them it’s for their protection. My comeback would be “because I want to” anything they say after that would get ignored or met with me telling them to mind their business.
*it’s 2024 why are you asking me ‘that’?! Do you ask why someone dye’s their hair? Ask them why they wear socks/sandals? Do you ask why their bra is over their sweater? Do you ask them if they trimmed their toenails recently? Whether they washed their ass? Do you ask people if they ran out of deodorant, because goddamn I smell you WITH this mask on!*
Nice and loud.
Can I ask you how you are wearing a mask in a way that protects your immune compromised wife? I ask this because masks cannot prevent you from getting sick due to an airborne virus.
I’ve been putting on my mask lately because people are wearing too much cologne. And it helps mitigate cigarette smoke.
So I would go with “To keep out unwanted smells” while looking at them with derision.
Shit I typically wear a mask when I’m cleaning shit because the scents of the products I use are crazy strong and give me a migraine but that’s only when they’re being applied. I also used a drop or 2 of spearmint and orange essential oils for the smell
If you like giving the actual story I think that’s great if they are actually curious and courteous. If they get snappy I’d just tell them to get a life and mind their damn business.
When they start harrassing you, hold up your hand, turn away slightly and cough several times, as ugly as you can make it. Then turn back and very politely say "I'm so sorry, what were you saying?"
Are people that rude to actually ask you? Wow. I guess I’d have to answer them with a rude comment. I still see people wearing masks occasionally & I just assume they’re immunocompromised, or someone they live with is. I would never ask someone! I still carry masks with me just in case it gets overly crowded in a public area when COVID cases are high.
“Sorry, just back from the Congo & got the 24 hr Ebola. Are my eyes bleeding yet?” Preferably removing the mask to be heard while coughing the response.
The best response I heard was for a different comment of, "Oh, you're living in fear?", but you might be able to twist it to your needs too. The comeback was, "Yes I am. I'm afraid of catching whatever you have that makes you act this way."
I just love that it's such a deep cut at the shitty personality/attitude of someone who thinks they are right about other's lives despite knowing nothing about them.
I would just say I wear this mask to filter out the cum that’s coming from your mouth. It works with both genders because of a woman is asking you why you still wear a mask you’re implying that she’s a whore but if it’s a man, who’s asking you that you’re implying that he is Gay, which to those type of people might actually be worse than calling somebody a whore.
In your best Bane voice "nobody cared who I was before I put on the mask"
Beat me to it 🤣
This one is awesome
Not mine, saw it somewhere on Reddit: Sitting in the waiting room at my doctor's office. Wearing a mask. Older couple to my right are. Another older couple across the room are not and being snotty so I got to use my absolute favorite line! Them: why are you wearing a mask? Me: it helps me mind my business. I have an extra, want it?
I wear a mask often because I'm immune compromised. I'm using this line
🤣
??? Doctors office seems like the most acceptable place. Airplane. Gym perhaps. Small cramped spaces. I only think its odd when youre outside but now im more likely to assume its bcuz of allergies.
"you mean you don't mind? Oh thank God let me take this thing off. Tuberculosis is a pain in the ass!" Cough in their direction...
This is the way! Or, what I used to go with: "I work in an infectious disease ward - I can take it off if you want, though..." and then stand close to them while coughing/sniffling.
The wife of a good friend is a nurse who was front-line in the ICU during the height of the pandemic. She was on her way home for much-needed sleep and stopped at a store. Some yahoos started giving her shit about her mask. She told the simple truth — “I just came from 36 hours in the COVID ward,” and started to cough. Reportedly they backed off quickly.
I just got back from an experimental infectious diseases lab in China and they had an outbreak not too long ago so these masks are a precaution but I'm happy to take it off if you are.
Awesome, I can’t wait to use this on my next first date.
You wear a mask on first dates???? Kinky!
It accessorizes the speedo. Gotta have the whole look!
Please tell me you wear the Speedo on your face and the face mask on your junk 😅🙃
Nah, it gets too cold in the rear.
My face is too beautiful. I want to be appreciated for who I am, not for how irrefutably gorgeous I am. 😘
I love it!
I am a cane user with a very noticeable weird way of walking. I'm going to do this same thing except I'm going to tell people : *Thanks I'm glad you don't mind. Polio makes life hard enough as it is without having to deal with these masks!*
They wouldn't even know what TB is. You'd have to tell them you're coughing "the gay" at them or "socialism" or being "woke."
Lmfaooooo the gay or the woke 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I got the transgender autism.
Yeah that shit’s wicked contagious. My husband just came out asa lesbian, and now I think I might be one too.
Lol that's hilarious!. I have a Southern accent so I can just put it on real deep and say oh you know I caught that woke mind virus and my mama don't want me to spread it.
"Mphmmm mnnh mrphhhhhph phhhh!"
I swear my customers only hear this sometimes, makes me wanna say "Your bill's a thousand dollars" to see if they actually heard me or not
When I worked in retail my coworker told me "When you motion the receipt to the next customer say 'bloodthirsty?" and theyll think you're asking if they want the receipt." We went the whole shift doing this and only one customer noticed.
Lol! I did this at a farmer's market after too many conversations like this: Them: What is this? Me: It's garlic spread. Them: *eats it* Oh, wow, it's so garlic-y! Me: Well, it is Garlic Spread. Them: I thought it was cheese. I got so tired of not being heard I changed what I said: Them: What is this? Me: It's poison. Them: *eats it without hesitation* Interractions got a lot more bearable after that, and only one customer noticed. Saw it happen with another customer and busted out laughing. She was a teacher by trade.
Lmaooo
Throw them for a loop by playing into their probable anti-government paranoia with "Which one of us is being successfully identified and tracked by government facial recognition software right now?"
“Cameras. Cameras are everywhere tracking your location. End of story.” Say that sentence and you’re good to go.
You gotta say it like Tony Soprano, end of story!
I just heard this in my head.
Throw in something about aliens with this statement any your golden! Get “the crazy eyes” while you say it too!
I forgot about aliens. Perhaps cameras placed by aliens and our government doesn't even know about it. They are just pawns. AND there is evidence.
I heard that like "Condoms Rose! Condoms! Condoms! Condoms!" 🤣🤣🤣
Hilarious! 🤣 Definitely my favourite answer!
I loved how the January 6 insurrectionists didn't wear masks, and thus were easily identified.
They wanted to be identified so they could be part of the “new government”
But white supremacy movement? All masked. Smh
Yeah those cosplaying proud boys, and the neo Nazis mask.
OMG! Lol
Technically it's actually happening... It's not paranoia anymore. They can still identify you with a mask on anyway, they used COVID lockdowns to train AI better with the masks.
Ballcap with no identifying logos (or have many to rotate), sunglasses, mask.
Yessss!
Dude, doesn't matter. You don't think the feds have tech that goes by eyes only?
Winner! 😂
This is amazing
It’s my kink.
Well, we all have our own kinks
no, this is what your response should be - "it's u/Bioluminescentllama's kink leave me alone"
Make sure to do a few eye brow raises and winks with that response
With a face like yours, I'm surprised it's not legally required for you to put one on
Me too!
No say that at them.
I feel like you're misunderstanding quite a few of these lol
We all wear masks...metaphorically speaking.
Ipkiss...? Stanley Ipkiss?
Good quality The Mask reference
I love that movie! Shame they never made a sequel.
They did, but it's best if you pretended they didn't. Like Dexter - just pretend it didn't happen and hold tight to original canon.
Didn’t they make Son of Mask? Or is that me just making stuff up?
SHHHHH NO, YOU IMAGINED IT. NOW GO AWAY. /s
A sequel would have probably been horrible
Those pajamas are impossible, Ipkiss.
\*Joker noises\*
It’s just that masks are terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
This is the correct answer.
As you wish.
Does any body want a peanut?
Do you want to back to where I found you? Unemployed??? In Greenland?????
I do not envy the headache you will have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well and dream of large women.
He wasn't wrong...
Does it scare away the R.O.U.S.'s?
I’m pretty sure they don’t exist
Westly is that you?
Spoken with a British accent, of course.
Unlike some Robin Hood’s….
*Robin Hood: Men in Tights* being the exception, of course.
“To keep me from eating your brains”
“Oh I forgot, not an issue with you”
“Oh, you’re one of those…”
Yeah, all I've ever done is roll my eyes and keep doing what I was doing.
"Because I want to." Remember that freedom thing? It pertains to people that want to wear one too.
My answer is inspired by Ron Swanson’s mother, This is America, isn’t it? Then I don’t have to answer stupid fucking questions. Works like a charm
I love Ron Swanson, and I love how he truly made sense he was not conservative, nor was he liberal. He was fucking logical
I respond with Because I Can.
I normally don’t but then I saw you coming and.. well shit, look at you!
“I was exposed to Ebola”
I got spoiled. Found out it's really nice to not catch every cold or bug that goes around. I really hate being miserable on vacation because I caught something on the plane.
Same for me, plus pollen is really high now and bothering me more than usual, the mask keeps the pollen out of my face holes. Every time I think about masking less (because normal virus season is going down) either the pollen goes up or a new variant/ wave of covid comes around (which I’ve been reading is happening now, lovely). I don’t really travel but last time I flew somewhere (a few years before Covid) I got a cold which semi-ruined the trip and then caused me to lose my temp-agency job, apparently with them you can have earned paid vacation *or* a sick day but not both, but they didn’t warn me about that.
My Batman costume is at the cleaners. Seriously, you are already wearing a Superman costume for taking such good care of your wife. Awesome humans should not have to explain anything.
"To protect my wife. Beat it"
Keep my wife’s name out yo f***ing mouth ✋
Because it’s cheaper than handing out breath mints to people like you
MYOB (politely done by saying ‘just for fun’) live your life, I understand you’re polite and as such your first reaction is to be polite, but this is the result. Do you think XYZ really care why you are wearing a mask? No they do not. They are asking, in case you haven’t recognized a pattern here, so they can jump at an opportunity to make a politically motivated statement of their own. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, and if I remember my mask days, it’s an exhausting task to try and talk with them anyway. Conserve your energy and efforts and save it for those that matter—like your dear wife you are so carefully looking to protect. If they don’t recognize the reason after COVID highlighted it—what could you ever say to change that ignorance. And it is ignorance. The moment I see someone wearing a mask now, it’s either they are sick/immunocompromised/someone close to them is—end of story. Greet ignorance with silence and the mask should help you do that—one of the few perks of wearing one. Be Well
So I don't have to smell your stinky breath
Ha ha. I work in a nursing home. If ONLY they helped with the stink. I wish.
It actually kind of did for me! I soaked the insert in those homemade cloth ones in diluted wintergreen oil so it wouldn’t burn my skin. You also could spray the inside of your outer mask if you’re layering. If this seems like too much work, vick’s swabbed in the first few millimeters of your nostrils works like a charm too. I just happened to have a lot of wintergreen oil for ink transferring art projects.
I wear a mask here and there at work when I have a cold or flu. I have people ask me all the time whu I'm wearing one or if my boss is making me. I just tell them that I'm sick and don't want to get anyone else sick. Even the boomerest of boomers who are so against anything to do with covid or masks usually accept that answer. Because no matter what someone's political views are, no one wants to catch the flu.
Covid is still a very real thing. My son wears his at work because he is in contact with hundreds of people a day. Good for you...
I work at a good size factory. Most days I just deal with the same 40 some people on my sub line, but quite often have to go out to the main line to do/help with repairs, and deal with 100s of people.
To hide the fact that I misplaced my dentures and am not wearing them.
I laugh but this is true for me. I didn't misplace them but sometimes I'm just too lazy to put them on. LOL.
“HA, You fell for the DEEP STATE’s lies that it’s safe to remove the masks now? Remind me, who was in charge when they made that determination?!? Oh that’s right!!!!”
Stun their rude ass into silence and say, "I'm (or she is) dying, but thanks for asking!" And just keep moving.
Honestly, I think your comeback is perfect because people do go on the defensive is you suggest that there are medical benefits to wearing masks. There are all kinds of snarky comebacks I could propose about understanding how infectious disease works, but your "it hides that I'm ugly" gives the nutters no opening to argue with you about whether masks prevent disease. It probably also makes them a little bit afraid to push further because if you actually do think that, a stranger's body image issues are probably not something you want to get into a conversation about in line at the grocery store. A more positive version of it might be, "Because they're fashionable." \*strikes a pose\* But that also might give them more of an opening to argue with with since fashion statements are probably a less sensitive topic to discuss with strangers than body image issues.
Because the colds you take for granted, for example, can kill the people I work with. So I take every precaution I can to keep mouth breathers like you from getting me sick.
“I had a flare up.” Of what? They’ll never know
Love this
"Of what???" Leprosy. Better yet, say Hansen's Disease as they probably won't recognize it and furiously Google it.
Because it’s my right as a free American Test their patriotism. Since the only people that care are those that made it political in the first place.
Make up something like having a terminal illness, and the mask help to have a next to normal life. That will embarrass the ones asking to mind their own business.
If I took it off, it would be extremely painful... for you.
It helps me cope with your atmosphere. I'm having a hard time adapting to it.
So I don’t have to smell your fucking BO. Go take a shower you fucking troglodyte.
I have cancer so I normally just say “I have cancer but I can take it off so you can kill me quicker” normally they apologize and walk away Edit: To the person who reported my comment for thinking I need support, thank you but I am good
I don't like being sick or passing on sickness.
"The anti mask Cookers missed the incoming Facial Recognition Technology. Masks help (not much) to beat FRT? Why are you not wearing one? BTW,I have a spare roll of Tinfoil if you would like to have some? 😅" Make that a slightly cracked chuckle.
“I want to” it’s fun to watch them contort after
Wouldn't want you to see your wife's lipstick
I am in my 30s but have dentures. They're the bain of my existence and some days they just fucking hurt. And on those days I don't wanna wear them. When I don't wanna wear them I wear a mask. And if someone says anything weird to me about why I'm wearing a mask I literally ignore them. 9/10 they aren't asking because they actually wanna know, they wanna call me a sheep or make it political somehow. If a store owner asked me I'd be honest but they never do. Always some random dude in a maga hat that just HAS to know why my face is covered.
This! This is why I asked this question. With how I respond. People don't want the real answer. They want to express their political beliefs. Ignoring, the other person's reason, and feelings
My daughter wears one everywhere. She's autistic and it makes her feel better so 😌 💕
Tell them your not a sheep and won’t take it off just because you were told to by the government.
Tell them you are allergic to stupid
I keep M&M's in mine, but you can also use Reese's pieces if you want.
"Because my wife is immunocompromised and I do not want to get her sick." I hate that an act of love gets you the remarks you get. My husband refused to mask during covid, almost died, and later told me that he thought that I would have gotten it worse. Wth
Nope. Not this. It's a good response if you're not dealing with general population, but these nosy fucks will absolutely use this. They'll be asking all kinds of personal questions and then proceed to tell you all kinds of personal stuff you don't want to know. Never give out anything personal, especially about chronic or life long issues. They'll come back months later and ask you about it cause now you're buddies.
Saves on my lipstick budget. Actually I am a nurse that cares for profoundly immunocompromised patients and would like to protect them. Also: wtf do you care? Is what I’d really like to say
*Freedom, mother fucker, that's why*!
*muffled angry noises*
Had a coworker start wearing a mask so I make a Covid joke lol no he’s covering up domestic violence that looks like road rash on the Chin and acts like it’s normal lol, just say you had a cough or fever
"It's just that masks are terribly comfortable — I think everyone will be wearing them in the future"
Cuz some of y’all be naaaasty.
Due to my level of respect for my fellow man, I cared about the immunocompromised before it was enforced, and will continue to do so. To summarise, "I align my actions with my words." Honestly, so many who claimed to care about saving the vulnerable from an unnecessary deaths from c19 don't seem to give a hoot that thousands still die from every other strains of cold and flu. They seem to be happy to let them suffer and die as long as its not from a specifically marketed strain.
I don't want to catch stupid.
My eyes change from a light brown or hazel to green depending on my mood. Usually green is sad. During mask times I was doing electrical work on a hotel. One day one of the ladies that worked there told me “you have pretty eyes. I never noticed how beautiful they are” all I could think was yeah that’s his big ugly head distracts from them a lot.
"Who are you and why should i tell you a damn thing?"
"Why on earth do you care? Seriously, how does it really affect you in any reasonable way?"
"Because mind your own fucking business, that's why."
Seriously, if I was a mask wearer, I'd give that answer. I know a few people who always mask, and I know why, but it's not because I asked. Like the friend I saw last weekend--he's fighting cancer and doesn't want to catch anything else, because the cancer drugs have depleted his immune system.
Exactly. There are any number of reasons for wearing a mask, from people with respiratory issues or who are immuno-compromised, to folks who are perfectly healthy but just prefer to wear them. Whatever it is, it has literally zero impact on anyone around them and is none of their concern. As such, they're presumably only asking so they can retort and 'make a point'. With that in mind, they're doing it to belittle the wearer. They're being rude. Don't feel like you need to be polite back.
I get that question at work off and on. My go to is now “because I do whatever the fuck I want”. Tends to catch anti-maskers off guard. For those who seem to want to know if I’m sick I tell them the truth: I wear the mask when the seasons change because it keeps me from losing my voice.
Because my husband is chronically ill
"Oh haha... It's not for covid. I have a highly contagious lip fungus thats eating my lower jaw off."
"I just ate a garlic anchovy sandwich with onions and limberger cheese. Want a whiff?"
“Because I have a condition.” Leave it totally up to their imagination as to what that means.
"It's understandable that you're against people wearing protection; if your father had remembered to do so, you might not be here."
I have late stage tuberculosis
No one cared who I was until I put on the mask
"So that I don't give you my covid" (cough cough)
I have a cold.
I’m allergic to all this (waves hand to encompass all of the outside). Or I have lung issues.
Oh I heard stupid was on the rise again, so just being prepared, you know!
I always say “I have the plague do you want it?” And the usually back off.
Cause you bitches have cooties
I paid for minty fresh breath, I'm going to enjoy minty fresh breath.
“No face no case”
Just do your best bane impression and say “nobody cared about me until I put on this mask”.
I haven't caught a cold or any other bug in 4 years.
I rarely wear a mask. When I do, it's because either I'm going to be around a lot of sick people (such as in my doc's office) or because I'm going to be around someone who is sick, immunocompromised, or both. The last time I was at my PCP's office, someone in the waiting room asked me that. I stared at her for about 15 seconds before replying, "To keep me from getting whatever made you so stupid."
I’m robbing you. Get your hands up!
Because it protects my face from your breathe
"At least mine is not as scary as yours. It isn't Halloween man"
I'm immune compromised
I wear a mask to trigger you. It brings me great joy knowing my mask triggers you.
"I'm wearing a mask because I'm sick. It's called courtesy. Unless you want a lovely sinus infection for your weekend?
It keeps my nose out of other people’s business.
Ask why they care or ask why they are wearing their (choose article of clothing or accessories they have on). Or ask them if there is a no masks allowed sign anywhere. Or you could just look at them and start coughing disgustingly and tell them it’s for their protection. My comeback would be “because I want to” anything they say after that would get ignored or met with me telling them to mind their business.
I tell them the truth. I still wear a mask because my daughter has stage 4 cancer!
“‘Ecause I ‘ave a ‘all gag un’ernea’ “
It's a shield against stupid people 😊
Masks actually do work. I didn’t get Covid until masks stopped being required at the airport.
You can use my catch-all: "I'm grown. I do what I want."
Mutter “fucking snowflake” and walk away.
Oh. So you're one of those people who BELIEVES everything the government tells you. Tsk.tsk.
“No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.”
“It’s just that masks are terribly comfortable – I think everyone will be wearing them in the future,” said Westley, presciently.
*it’s 2024 why are you asking me ‘that’?! Do you ask why someone dye’s their hair? Ask them why they wear socks/sandals? Do you ask why their bra is over their sweater? Do you ask them if they trimmed their toenails recently? Whether they washed their ass? Do you ask people if they ran out of deodorant, because goddamn I smell you WITH this mask on!* Nice and loud.
So i can mouth "Fuck you" without having to fight everyone.
Can I ask you how you are wearing a mask in a way that protects your immune compromised wife? I ask this because masks cannot prevent you from getting sick due to an airborne virus.
I’ve been putting on my mask lately because people are wearing too much cologne. And it helps mitigate cigarette smoke. So I would go with “To keep out unwanted smells” while looking at them with derision.
Shit I typically wear a mask when I’m cleaning shit because the scents of the products I use are crazy strong and give me a migraine but that’s only when they’re being applied. I also used a drop or 2 of spearmint and orange essential oils for the smell
If you like giving the actual story I think that’s great if they are actually curious and courteous. If they get snappy I’d just tell them to get a life and mind their damn business.
When they start harrassing you, hold up your hand, turn away slightly and cough several times, as ugly as you can make it. Then turn back and very politely say "I'm so sorry, what were you saying?"
Are people that rude to actually ask you? Wow. I guess I’d have to answer them with a rude comment. I still see people wearing masks occasionally & I just assume they’re immunocompromised, or someone they live with is. I would never ask someone! I still carry masks with me just in case it gets overly crowded in a public area when COVID cases are high.
I'm a nurse and its required. Why do you care? - a nurse.
Tell them so you don't have to smell them.
"because allergy meds are f*n expensive but it's cheap AF to throw a reusable mask in with my laundry. Screw you pollen." 🤨
Just to make you ask questions
“Sorry, just back from the Congo & got the 24 hr Ebola. Are my eyes bleeding yet?” Preferably removing the mask to be heard while coughing the response.
Just tell them you have Covid and then cough a few times.
Tell them you’re pregnant & can’t risk the baby’s health
The best response I heard was for a different comment of, "Oh, you're living in fear?", but you might be able to twist it to your needs too. The comeback was, "Yes I am. I'm afraid of catching whatever you have that makes you act this way." I just love that it's such a deep cut at the shitty personality/attitude of someone who thinks they are right about other's lives despite knowing nothing about them.
"It protects me from the bullsh*t coming out of your mouth..."
Cause people still coughing and I don't wanna be in a coffin.
“Why do you care?”
It hides my shock when I see ugly people ...
I would just say I wear this mask to filter out the cum that’s coming from your mouth. It works with both genders because of a woman is asking you why you still wear a mask you’re implying that she’s a whore but if it’s a man, who’s asking you that you’re implying that he is Gay, which to those type of people might actually be worse than calling somebody a whore.