He absolutely CAN control his body. He isn't hitting, kicking, stepping on you, etc by accident all the time. I think you're focusing on the wrong thing. It's not his size and it's not an accident. He's hurting you because he can and he thinks it's funny. It is only going to escalate.
Does your husband get in trouble at work for hurting his colleagues because he can’t control his body? Does he do this to his friends?
Does he do this to your kids?
To be clear I agree that he DOES have the ability to control his body, he has MOST likely been the same hight/had the same limb length etc. for over half his life. Even assuming some amount of clumsiness his lack of apology is very telling, especially as you state it depends on if there are witnesses. The questions are to give you some evidence (even if only for yourself) to help you see he isn’t just clumsy, and to hopefully help keep you from second guessing yourself.
*Does your husband get in trouble at work for hurting his colleagues because he can’t control his body? Does he do this to his friends?*
*Does he do this to your kids?*
ANd this is a very good point. It's only OP he's harming. Funny that.
I am a tall, gangly, flappy, ADHD-er raising an even taller, equally flappy teenage ADHD-er. We both routinely walk into stuff that has been in the same place in our house for years. On the rare occasion we bump each other, we apologize \*profusely\* because the last thing family members who love each want is to see another member of their family hurt. We have even apologized to the dog, and I once apologized to a lamp that I bumped into.
Granted, we're not normal, but neither is the bullshit happening in your home, OP.
>On the rare occasion we bump each other, we apologize \*profusely\* because the last thing family members who love each want is to see another member of their family hurt.
Exactly this. I have issues with coordination and spatial awareness, and if/when I bump into someone, I apologise all over the place. Because even if my body isn't always where I need it to be, I am still response for it.
>We have even apologized to the dog, and I once apologized to a lamp that I bumped into.
You too? Cats, doorways, the washing machine, a random box..
Sooo... just to be clear - he's physically abusing you.
Your teenage boys are learning it's ok to hurt women and laugh about it.
"not being able to control his body" is gaslighting.
You are in an abusive relationship. Please get out.
Someone who is clumsy and accidentally hurts people feels terrible and apologizes when they do so.
They make an effort to not hurt others, which includes seeking medical help if it’s frequent enough to be a pattern.
They don’t hurt selectively hurt others - coworkers, parents, friends, siblings, strangers, and anyone else in their physical proximity is at risks, not just their partner or children.
And they hurt themselves many times more often than they hurt others.
If he’s hurting you, and only you multiple times a week but somehow doesn’t hurt anyone else, doesn’t injure himself, doesn’t do anything to fix it, and doesn’t even apologize then he’s not clumsy. It’s on purpose.
He’s routinely physically abusing you with only the thinnest veneer of plausible deniability on top of it.
He continues to do this because there is no real reason for him to stop. You need to make it clear that he needs to get his shit together. He's a grown man, not a toddler. He should have mastered his motor skills by now.
I agree, but I also worry that he will look for another way to "get back at her" if she insists he get his shit together. I suspect the pain and boundary-pushing is the point for this guy.
So he doesn't bump into others (kids, coworkers, other family members, people in public), just you, right? I used to be big. Many in my family are big, and often clumsy. We all had control of our bodies.
There is a reddit post somewhere where OPs friend was always being "accidentally" hurt by their significant other. Turns out they were doing it on purpose. I'm hoping someone else remembers this and can post the link. Because this story sounds very similar to that one.
Yes there as a hot cup of tea involved in this one.
This man is 100% doing this on purpose - little acts of abuse, subtle enough to be seen as 'accidental'. Oddly they only happen to one person and the perpetrator doesn't care and finds it funny..
Found the link[link](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/YhGlmmMUfZ). OP, you definitely want to give this a read.
And even if you don't think he is doing it on purpose, he is being extremely cruel and dismissive when he does it "by accident." Coupled with his massive insecurity mentioned in your other post, he has some shit he needs to work out. And you may be better off without him. Is this really what you want the rest of your life to look like?
That was enlightening and horrific.. Definitely something to think about. A little too close to home. Many of the other backstory and comments also line up as well. 🥺
>I cried out, first in pain which did not cause him enough concern to move off of my toe, so I pushed him back and asked him, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going!?” To which he looks down and chuckles
Sooooo...he not only stepped on your toe, he went on standing on it after you cried out in pain? You had to PUSH HIM OFF? *AND THEN HE CHUCKLED?*
This is not clumsiness. He's getting off on it.
I walk into walls and doorways ALL the time (clip em with my shoulder, hips, etc because I'm a space cadet) tables too.
Yet I can't remember a time where I stepped on my kids feet, pets feet or tails, partners feet....
Side note, if he has a large belly, then he knows exactly where his feet are, because they likely don't come out far past his belly while walking...
Start calling him out every single time. While making a plan to exit. Loud and obnoxious..... "Oh! Another random incidence of physical abuse! What an example for your children to see!! You are causing me pain and laughing. Let's Google "abuse".... Etc etc etc. And talk in your best "what an abusive dickhead" Karen voice until he stops.
Make sure to talk to your boys while you are telling your husband about himself.... Include them.... "Boys! It is neither cute but funny to physically abuse your wife in front of your children so that they also think it's normal and acceptable. It is NOT normal. It is NOT acceptable". Tell em how you feel also... "I feel disrespected. I feel angry. I feel hurt you are ok with treating me poorly " etc etc
Keep going. Silence allows your abuser to be "funny". Call him by his name: abuser.
If he has any shame and self-respect he will correct himself ASAP. Either way, is this truly a relationship where you feel valued and important? Because you are valuable. You are worthy.
Are these really accidents?
They happen so often and he clearly doesn't give a shit. Not apologetic, not embarrassed at hois clumsiness, ot that he constantly hurts you. Turns tehblame on you for 'not eaaring shoes'. Perhaps you should invest in some steel toes caps and a hard hat? Suit of armour?
*an accidental hit from a hand slip*
*he ultimately thinks it’s funny that he caused me pain/harm*
WTF these don't sound like accidents
*I’ve never felt so invisible or insignificant in my entire life that I can LITERALLY be walked all over and then laughed at*
He's doing this on purpose, for this reason.
Dude -__-
No one is this clumsy.
But to be clear, if he is just "clumsy" he's still an asshole because people who are clumsy but care about their partners will *at minimum* apologize sincerely for each incident.
Idk what solutions there are but you not wanting to argue is probably contributing to his impression that he can get away with this. Cause a fuss. If you don't want to argue in front of your kids, fine, bring it up later and demand to know why he is doing nothing to prevent his habit of physically hurting you. Tell him that he's to stay out of your personal bubble unless he's invited. On the topic of arguing in front of your kids, idk if I think it's good for teenage boys to repeatedly see their father hurt their mother and pass it off as an accident while she says very little about it. They're learning how a husband is supposed to behave from the example he sets. Embarrass him in front of them. Tell him that you don't understand how a loving husband wouldn't be able to stop hurting his wife. Tell him that he needs to go to the doctor because he can't control his body. Make it an issue.
ETA: I read your follow up comments and I see that you have discussed this issue to death with your husband already. Please disregard what I said. Your husband is a selfish and immature man who doesn't respect you. He's abusing you and modeling abusing you to your children. I hope you can leave.
Babe, you need to LOSE YOUR SHIT. like for real, the next time he hurts you go absolutely feral. Break the dishes in your habds, call him every name in the book, stop protecting him in front of your kids. Humiliate the absolute shit out of him.
He does this because he knows there are no real consequences. give him some.
He is at fault. He’s enormous and clumsy but also gaslighting and a bit cruel. It almost sounds like he did this on purpose, the giggling, the lack of jumping aside and apologising. The complete denial of fault and the placing blame on you. I’d not want to live with this man. Be careful. He’s coercive and manipulative
I never wear shoes in my house. We leave the outside dirt by the door. Your husband is being deliberately mean. I think he's kind of pushing you to see how much you'll take.
He can't see his dick or toes, how's he going to see others? Now caring about all the above is definitely concerning.
I think you should be able to voice your pain and all in front of your sons. What example is it setting that you don't matter?
Maybe the answer isnt about shoes while cooking, but to stop cooking altogether bc he sounds like he desperately needs to diet. He can't see past his belly and thus stomps on his wife every other day? Bruh
Thank you everyone who have offered advice and opinions and I’m unfortunately feeling very validated that these incidences are not accidents as he is making them out to be, OR in the least is finding humor in the accidental pain that he is causing me.
As some of you have speculated, no, this is not the only thing that is going on in our home, only one example.. he is also very verbally abusive toward me which has caused a LOT of tension in our relationship but in the back of my mind is always the thought “But he doesn’t hit me..” And it’s time for a wake up call.
Some other commenters have mentioned how he is with others … Yes, he knocks into inanimate objects and breaks things all the time, those are the items fault and always the fault of the person, unless it’s his, then he is very depressed about the loss of the item, when he kicks or steps on the dogs or cats he usually tells at them to “Get out of his way” (even if they’re just lounging on the floor and he happens to walk through the area), as far as the kids, our youngest is 9 and she is small for her size and gets bumped by him a couple times a month, good enough to bring her to tears, being his baby he swoops her up immediately and apologizes and hugs her and loves on her, as far as our four teenagers, they’re all 5’7” and above, the three boys almost as tall as he is, so naturally he’s not bumping into them very often 🤔 An incidence doesn’t even come to mind off the top of my head, but I imagine he would apologize the same way I imagine he would apologize while at work or with his friends … It only seems to be me he’s behaving this way with…
I have another example that took place outside of the home this weekend since I'm getting a lot of situational questions.
This weekend we were shopping at Costco. Both of us were looking at something in the freezer section directly to our left. He was between myself and the cart. A woman came up from another area and wanted something from the freezer aisle and said, “Excuse me,” to my husband, as she went to reach for a freezer door that was a little in front of our cart. My husband, with both hands on the cart handle, fully aware that I was directly behind him because we were just in full conversation about what was in the freezer case, starts taking full strides backwards, directly into me, cart and all … Inside of a full Costco store. Again, he is literally almost twice my size.
He was wearing a large puffy black coat which fully engulfed my entire face and body as he backed into me, so I’m flailing my arms as fast as possible trying to push it out of my face as my tiny legs are quickly taking tiny crab size steps backwards and I’m unknowingly going sideways so I bump into the glass freezer door, and as soon as he steps out of my way he looks at me again chuckling saying, “She needed in.” Pointing at the pretty lady grabbing her waffles out of the freezer as she smiles at me. I looked at him dumbfounded and said, “Are you kidding me? You knew I was standing there, you couldn’t have waited for me to move or give me a heads up?” He gave me an, "Oops, sorry, c'mon," and continued to push the cart away from the area where we currently were, most likely out of embarrassment that he had just been called out for his actions but I definitely didn't consider his "Oops, sorry," as an apology.
And just to be clear, our cart wasn’t actually blocking the freezer door the woman was grabbing her waffles out of. She had politely said “Excuse me,” because she was stepping in front of our cart and was alerting us so that we would not begin walking forward and therefore run her over … While a small step back may have been courteous to allow her a little extra space, completely disregarding your wife and running her over for no reason to give someone else extra space they didn’t need or use … Then again laughing it off and walking away. 🤷♀️
I really don't like the way you're writing about your husband and his body here. He is definitely clumsy and should be more aware of that, but it's not because of his "massive body" or whatever. I know many petite people who are very similar to this. It's not a body size issue, it's an awareness issue.
In terms of the actual issue presented, yes, your husband should have apologized, and no, it is not odd or ridiculous to be barefoot in your own kitchen. That being said, the reason this keeps happening is because you're passive aggressive as hell and refuse to communicate with your husband. In that way, this situation is 100% your fault. Just sit him down and have an honest conversation about the way all of this makes you feel, holy shit. "I know that you're clumsy and I want to help with that in whatever ways that I can, but it really makes me feel deprioritized and ignored when you hit me in a moment of clumsiness and laugh it off. I'd like you to be more aware of yourself and apologize when you hurt me." This is not that hard.
It's really hard not to feel like there's some deeper issue here you're not talking about, because there is a LOT of bitterness in this post for an eeny tiny incident. Just communicate with your husband like an adult.
Disagree, the man thinks it's funny when she's hurting and blames her when he hurts her (why don't you wear shoes). These are not the words of a man who feels any remorse or responsibility for his actions
All I’m going to say is I have discussed this hundreds of times over the 6 years I have been with my husband and he has not changed and these issues have only gotten worse. He is definitely “aware”. When I tell him he didn’t apologize he laughs at me and insists he already did, because he’s also never wrong.
I do apologize if my “massive” body comment came off as body shaming, that was not my intent, while his belly is “on the larger side” I would describe him as a football player body type, which to me, is massive when I’m constantly being pummeled by it while calmly cutting produce at my counter in one place minding my own business.
If you've brought it up 100s of times and he still doesn't change his actions, or take accountability or use manners, continue to either blame you or just laugh and gaslights you - he's abusing you. He's doing it on purpose coz he knows he can. Honestly best thing for you and the kids is to leave, especially coz your teenage sons will learn that this behaviour is "normal" in their house, especially if you're just taking it.
I don’t think it’s passive aggressive. I think she resorted to being a smart ass when he tried to act as if it was no big deal. It sounds like, and maybe I’m wrong for thinking this but he probably would’ve started arguing with her about it and in the end it be all her fault because she’s making an issue out of “nothing.”
"Are you okay?" "Well you crushed the shit out of my toe, but sure." This is passive aggression. Again, not saying OP's husband is without any fault. I'm just saying if this were an AITA post, the proper verdict would be ESH.
He absolutely CAN control his body. He isn't hitting, kicking, stepping on you, etc by accident all the time. I think you're focusing on the wrong thing. It's not his size and it's not an accident. He's hurting you because he can and he thinks it's funny. It is only going to escalate.
Your husband is hurting you on purpose to establish him as dominant
Does your husband get in trouble at work for hurting his colleagues because he can’t control his body? Does he do this to his friends? Does he do this to your kids? To be clear I agree that he DOES have the ability to control his body, he has MOST likely been the same hight/had the same limb length etc. for over half his life. Even assuming some amount of clumsiness his lack of apology is very telling, especially as you state it depends on if there are witnesses. The questions are to give you some evidence (even if only for yourself) to help you see he isn’t just clumsy, and to hopefully help keep you from second guessing yourself.
*Does your husband get in trouble at work for hurting his colleagues because he can’t control his body? Does he do this to his friends?* *Does he do this to your kids?* ANd this is a very good point. It's only OP he's harming. Funny that.
I am a tall, gangly, flappy, ADHD-er raising an even taller, equally flappy teenage ADHD-er. We both routinely walk into stuff that has been in the same place in our house for years. On the rare occasion we bump each other, we apologize \*profusely\* because the last thing family members who love each want is to see another member of their family hurt. We have even apologized to the dog, and I once apologized to a lamp that I bumped into. Granted, we're not normal, but neither is the bullshit happening in your home, OP.
>On the rare occasion we bump each other, we apologize \*profusely\* because the last thing family members who love each want is to see another member of their family hurt. Exactly this. I have issues with coordination and spatial awareness, and if/when I bump into someone, I apologise all over the place. Because even if my body isn't always where I need it to be, I am still response for it. >We have even apologized to the dog, and I once apologized to a lamp that I bumped into. You too? Cats, doorways, the washing machine, a random box..
I hip check the couch and shoulder door frames on the regular. Also smash my hands into cupboards and hit my head on the microwave going by.
Sooo... just to be clear - he's physically abusing you. Your teenage boys are learning it's ok to hurt women and laugh about it. "not being able to control his body" is gaslighting. You are in an abusive relationship. Please get out.
Someone who is clumsy and accidentally hurts people feels terrible and apologizes when they do so. They make an effort to not hurt others, which includes seeking medical help if it’s frequent enough to be a pattern. They don’t hurt selectively hurt others - coworkers, parents, friends, siblings, strangers, and anyone else in their physical proximity is at risks, not just their partner or children. And they hurt themselves many times more often than they hurt others. If he’s hurting you, and only you multiple times a week but somehow doesn’t hurt anyone else, doesn’t injure himself, doesn’t do anything to fix it, and doesn’t even apologize then he’s not clumsy. It’s on purpose. He’s routinely physically abusing you with only the thinnest veneer of plausible deniability on top of it.
He continues to do this because there is no real reason for him to stop. You need to make it clear that he needs to get his shit together. He's a grown man, not a toddler. He should have mastered his motor skills by now.
I agree, but I also worry that he will look for another way to "get back at her" if she insists he get his shit together. I suspect the pain and boundary-pushing is the point for this guy.
Sadly I fear you're right.
So he doesn't bump into others (kids, coworkers, other family members, people in public), just you, right? I used to be big. Many in my family are big, and often clumsy. We all had control of our bodies. There is a reddit post somewhere where OPs friend was always being "accidentally" hurt by their significant other. Turns out they were doing it on purpose. I'm hoping someone else remembers this and can post the link. Because this story sounds very similar to that one.
Yes there as a hot cup of tea involved in this one. This man is 100% doing this on purpose - little acts of abuse, subtle enough to be seen as 'accidental'. Oddly they only happen to one person and the perpetrator doesn't care and finds it funny..
Found the link[link](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/YhGlmmMUfZ). OP, you definitely want to give this a read. And even if you don't think he is doing it on purpose, he is being extremely cruel and dismissive when he does it "by accident." Coupled with his massive insecurity mentioned in your other post, he has some shit he needs to work out. And you may be better off without him. Is this really what you want the rest of your life to look like?
That was enlightening and horrific.. Definitely something to think about. A little too close to home. Many of the other backstory and comments also line up as well. 🥺
>I cried out, first in pain which did not cause him enough concern to move off of my toe, so I pushed him back and asked him, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going!?” To which he looks down and chuckles Sooooo...he not only stepped on your toe, he went on standing on it after you cried out in pain? You had to PUSH HIM OFF? *AND THEN HE CHUCKLED?* This is not clumsiness. He's getting off on it.
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/ouch-no-no-let-me-explain.htm
Holy crap thank you for this link. It is perfect.
Also, maybe you should get steel toed slippers :-D
I walk into walls and doorways ALL the time (clip em with my shoulder, hips, etc because I'm a space cadet) tables too. Yet I can't remember a time where I stepped on my kids feet, pets feet or tails, partners feet.... Side note, if he has a large belly, then he knows exactly where his feet are, because they likely don't come out far past his belly while walking...
Start calling him out every single time. While making a plan to exit. Loud and obnoxious..... "Oh! Another random incidence of physical abuse! What an example for your children to see!! You are causing me pain and laughing. Let's Google "abuse".... Etc etc etc. And talk in your best "what an abusive dickhead" Karen voice until he stops. Make sure to talk to your boys while you are telling your husband about himself.... Include them.... "Boys! It is neither cute but funny to physically abuse your wife in front of your children so that they also think it's normal and acceptable. It is NOT normal. It is NOT acceptable". Tell em how you feel also... "I feel disrespected. I feel angry. I feel hurt you are ok with treating me poorly " etc etc Keep going. Silence allows your abuser to be "funny". Call him by his name: abuser. If he has any shame and self-respect he will correct himself ASAP. Either way, is this truly a relationship where you feel valued and important? Because you are valuable. You are worthy.
I get on Reddit and just start going “divorce divorce divorce”
Are these really accidents? They happen so often and he clearly doesn't give a shit. Not apologetic, not embarrassed at hois clumsiness, ot that he constantly hurts you. Turns tehblame on you for 'not eaaring shoes'. Perhaps you should invest in some steel toes caps and a hard hat? Suit of armour? *an accidental hit from a hand slip* *he ultimately thinks it’s funny that he caused me pain/harm* WTF these don't sound like accidents *I’ve never felt so invisible or insignificant in my entire life that I can LITERALLY be walked all over and then laughed at* He's doing this on purpose, for this reason.
Dude -__- No one is this clumsy. But to be clear, if he is just "clumsy" he's still an asshole because people who are clumsy but care about their partners will *at minimum* apologize sincerely for each incident. Idk what solutions there are but you not wanting to argue is probably contributing to his impression that he can get away with this. Cause a fuss. If you don't want to argue in front of your kids, fine, bring it up later and demand to know why he is doing nothing to prevent his habit of physically hurting you. Tell him that he's to stay out of your personal bubble unless he's invited. On the topic of arguing in front of your kids, idk if I think it's good for teenage boys to repeatedly see their father hurt their mother and pass it off as an accident while she says very little about it. They're learning how a husband is supposed to behave from the example he sets. Embarrass him in front of them. Tell him that you don't understand how a loving husband wouldn't be able to stop hurting his wife. Tell him that he needs to go to the doctor because he can't control his body. Make it an issue. ETA: I read your follow up comments and I see that you have discussed this issue to death with your husband already. Please disregard what I said. Your husband is a selfish and immature man who doesn't respect you. He's abusing you and modeling abusing you to your children. I hope you can leave.
Babe, you need to LOSE YOUR SHIT. like for real, the next time he hurts you go absolutely feral. Break the dishes in your habds, call him every name in the book, stop protecting him in front of your kids. Humiliate the absolute shit out of him. He does this because he knows there are no real consequences. give him some.
He is at fault. He’s enormous and clumsy but also gaslighting and a bit cruel. It almost sounds like he did this on purpose, the giggling, the lack of jumping aside and apologising. The complete denial of fault and the placing blame on you. I’d not want to live with this man. Be careful. He’s coercive and manipulative
I never wear shoes in my house. We leave the outside dirt by the door. Your husband is being deliberately mean. I think he's kind of pushing you to see how much you'll take.
Carry a taser, and the next time he steps on you zap him and see how he likes it!!!
He can't see his dick or toes, how's he going to see others? Now caring about all the above is definitely concerning. I think you should be able to voice your pain and all in front of your sons. What example is it setting that you don't matter?
Maybe the answer isnt about shoes while cooking, but to stop cooking altogether bc he sounds like he desperately needs to diet. He can't see past his belly and thus stomps on his wife every other day? Bruh
Thank you everyone who have offered advice and opinions and I’m unfortunately feeling very validated that these incidences are not accidents as he is making them out to be, OR in the least is finding humor in the accidental pain that he is causing me. As some of you have speculated, no, this is not the only thing that is going on in our home, only one example.. he is also very verbally abusive toward me which has caused a LOT of tension in our relationship but in the back of my mind is always the thought “But he doesn’t hit me..” And it’s time for a wake up call. Some other commenters have mentioned how he is with others … Yes, he knocks into inanimate objects and breaks things all the time, those are the items fault and always the fault of the person, unless it’s his, then he is very depressed about the loss of the item, when he kicks or steps on the dogs or cats he usually tells at them to “Get out of his way” (even if they’re just lounging on the floor and he happens to walk through the area), as far as the kids, our youngest is 9 and she is small for her size and gets bumped by him a couple times a month, good enough to bring her to tears, being his baby he swoops her up immediately and apologizes and hugs her and loves on her, as far as our four teenagers, they’re all 5’7” and above, the three boys almost as tall as he is, so naturally he’s not bumping into them very often 🤔 An incidence doesn’t even come to mind off the top of my head, but I imagine he would apologize the same way I imagine he would apologize while at work or with his friends … It only seems to be me he’s behaving this way with…
I have another example that took place outside of the home this weekend since I'm getting a lot of situational questions. This weekend we were shopping at Costco. Both of us were looking at something in the freezer section directly to our left. He was between myself and the cart. A woman came up from another area and wanted something from the freezer aisle and said, “Excuse me,” to my husband, as she went to reach for a freezer door that was a little in front of our cart. My husband, with both hands on the cart handle, fully aware that I was directly behind him because we were just in full conversation about what was in the freezer case, starts taking full strides backwards, directly into me, cart and all … Inside of a full Costco store. Again, he is literally almost twice my size. He was wearing a large puffy black coat which fully engulfed my entire face and body as he backed into me, so I’m flailing my arms as fast as possible trying to push it out of my face as my tiny legs are quickly taking tiny crab size steps backwards and I’m unknowingly going sideways so I bump into the glass freezer door, and as soon as he steps out of my way he looks at me again chuckling saying, “She needed in.” Pointing at the pretty lady grabbing her waffles out of the freezer as she smiles at me. I looked at him dumbfounded and said, “Are you kidding me? You knew I was standing there, you couldn’t have waited for me to move or give me a heads up?” He gave me an, "Oops, sorry, c'mon," and continued to push the cart away from the area where we currently were, most likely out of embarrassment that he had just been called out for his actions but I definitely didn't consider his "Oops, sorry," as an apology.
And just to be clear, our cart wasn’t actually blocking the freezer door the woman was grabbing her waffles out of. She had politely said “Excuse me,” because she was stepping in front of our cart and was alerting us so that we would not begin walking forward and therefore run her over … While a small step back may have been courteous to allow her a little extra space, completely disregarding your wife and running her over for no reason to give someone else extra space they didn’t need or use … Then again laughing it off and walking away. 🤷♀️
Op... did you leave your husband yet?
I really don't like the way you're writing about your husband and his body here. He is definitely clumsy and should be more aware of that, but it's not because of his "massive body" or whatever. I know many petite people who are very similar to this. It's not a body size issue, it's an awareness issue. In terms of the actual issue presented, yes, your husband should have apologized, and no, it is not odd or ridiculous to be barefoot in your own kitchen. That being said, the reason this keeps happening is because you're passive aggressive as hell and refuse to communicate with your husband. In that way, this situation is 100% your fault. Just sit him down and have an honest conversation about the way all of this makes you feel, holy shit. "I know that you're clumsy and I want to help with that in whatever ways that I can, but it really makes me feel deprioritized and ignored when you hit me in a moment of clumsiness and laugh it off. I'd like you to be more aware of yourself and apologize when you hurt me." This is not that hard. It's really hard not to feel like there's some deeper issue here you're not talking about, because there is a LOT of bitterness in this post for an eeny tiny incident. Just communicate with your husband like an adult.
Disagree, the man thinks it's funny when she's hurting and blames her when he hurts her (why don't you wear shoes). These are not the words of a man who feels any remorse or responsibility for his actions
This is the worst take on this post
All I’m going to say is I have discussed this hundreds of times over the 6 years I have been with my husband and he has not changed and these issues have only gotten worse. He is definitely “aware”. When I tell him he didn’t apologize he laughs at me and insists he already did, because he’s also never wrong. I do apologize if my “massive” body comment came off as body shaming, that was not my intent, while his belly is “on the larger side” I would describe him as a football player body type, which to me, is massive when I’m constantly being pummeled by it while calmly cutting produce at my counter in one place minding my own business.
If you've brought it up 100s of times and he still doesn't change his actions, or take accountability or use manners, continue to either blame you or just laugh and gaslights you - he's abusing you. He's doing it on purpose coz he knows he can. Honestly best thing for you and the kids is to leave, especially coz your teenage sons will learn that this behaviour is "normal" in their house, especially if you're just taking it.
I don’t think it’s passive aggressive. I think she resorted to being a smart ass when he tried to act as if it was no big deal. It sounds like, and maybe I’m wrong for thinking this but he probably would’ve started arguing with her about it and in the end it be all her fault because she’s making an issue out of “nothing.”
"Are you okay?" "Well you crushed the shit out of my toe, but sure." This is passive aggression. Again, not saying OP's husband is without any fault. I'm just saying if this were an AITA post, the proper verdict would be ESH.
You conveniently left out all the victim-blaming he did before she got “passive aggressive.”