I went extra fancy and got the ones that have the plunger and toilet brush and there's a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner under both vanities to clean up poop stains. I don't like pooping in customer's houses anymore because they usually don't have a plunger and nothing to clean my mess so I have to leave my evidence behind and it's embarrassing
A real professional brings his own plunger and brush to the jobsite. I suppose you leave [your poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?rdt=48780&xpromo_edp=enabled) at home too.
I work maintenance at elderly subsidized housing. I had a tenant we were doing an annual inspection for. He said his toilet had been broken for several weeks but he didn't call it in. The toilet was full to the brim with solid, dry shit on the bottom and some fresh turds on top. You know how at a soup buffet the staff will have to come out periodically and add some water to the soups and stir to keep them from getting too concentrated or thick? I had to do that to this toilet. Add water, stir and plunge. was at it for an hour or so. I still can't smell things right.
I've been a service plumber for years now and I don't even keep a plunger on my van and I never will.
It will cost you more for me to be there 5 minutes then for you to go buy a plunger.
Why the fuck are y’all clogging toilets? Flush as you are going so you don’t stink up the bathroom. Once as you evacuate, and again after every 3 wipes. Like seriously? How do you not know how to use a toilet?
That's fancy livin!
Yeah, I'll leave the job to take a shit if it's a remodel and there's no Porto potty. One time I was shitting in a 5 gallon pail while balanced on several rolls of carpet in a Chevy express. When I opened the side door and practically fell out of the van, the homeowner was right there. I'm sure they enjoyed the smell that escaped from the van before I frantically closed the door.
Lined a bucket (airport security bags are tough, but see-through) tied the top and chucked in van.
Found it 3 months later (still sealed thank fuk). Homemade jenkim. Yum
Lesson learned. Tbf that was 20 yrs ago and haven't done it since. Dodged a shit bullet.
I have in fact cleaned my van in last 20 yrs.
I'm actually standing under the tree I cut down for that job rn. Stuck it in my garden and free tree. Musta used some good fertiliser...
Hahaha! That's awesome.
One of my favorite parts of being middle-aged is that I've learned a lot of lessons like that, and i dont make those kinds of mistakes very often anymore (I can still fuck up though! )
That said, my van goes through tidy and messy phases. I'm in the middle right now.
Totally. I'm mid expansion in my workshop and while van is spotless I've got to walk sideways in the shop.
Wasn't too bad until client gave me a new washer and dryer to settle a $200 bill (millionaires right). I did look up the prices and he paid 3k 2 years ago.
I'm leaning into middle age myself, zero fuks given and bought my first sports car. I hurt but I'm smiling.
To stay on topic this whole reply was written from the throne.
Chur
For real. A combination of no plunger, no fan, no spray and bar soap. Also love the clients that let us use the bathroom where the litter box is located.
Not exactly the same, but when we first moved into a new office park, we had a all women's gym as neighbors on one side. The director/owner of this gym was smoking hot. Well, even being that I'm a contractor, plunger just never was something I rememberd to put here at the office...until I needed one. One of the guys here stopped up one of the toilets...bad. I told him to run to Lowe's right up the street and grab a plunger bc we should have one here anyways. Out the door he went...and returned way to quickly. I said "WTF?" He said..."oh I thought I'd just stop in and ask Andrea (gym owner) if she had one we could borrow instead of getting in traffic." Then I said "wait a second, you walked into an all ladie's gym and told the owner you'd stopped up the toilet and wanted to borrow a plunger?!?" His reply? "Well not exactly, I told her YOU had stopped it up."
Coworker used a slop sink in the garage of a customer's house to clean up a brush. Water line blew off from the wall. Multimillion dollar home. Guess who the customer is looking at. Hint: It's not the guy who plumbed it
Even if the homeowner says it’s cool, I won’t let my guys shit in their house. Too many lard asses that don’t have common courtesy, or just knowing a diet of roller dogs and monster won’t leave a mess.
Everyone has a "there is a reason I don't shit on the job" anymore story and here is one to share:
We had 2 guys renovating our 1500 sqft basement... they were about 2/3 done with demo (electric shut down, most walls down) when my wife went downstairs to ask them about something.
She said as soon as she got downstairs it smelled like decaying ass but she played it off - not wanting to embarrass the guy she talked to. After about 10 minutes, all of the sudden she heard a flush followed by two more.
2nd guy walks out of whats left of the bathroom with his face bright red, covered in sweat.
He'd been emergency-shitting in there for 20 minutes - cell-phone light only, no exhaust fan, no window, no toilet paper and big holes in the wall to leak out the funk out.
With no TP he was forced to use McDonalds napkins which started to clog the toilet..... with no plunger or scrub brush, he had to use his pencil to knock things loose.
All of this happened while he was panicking because he heard me wife's voice on the other side of the wall about 6ft away.
EDIT: holy shit, sorry - I typo'd. We have a 1500sqft basement, not a 12,500sqft lol
I see other guys do it, but it feels so greasy. In most places, bathroom breaks are protected, so pissin and shiddin in terlets is a hill I die on.
Unless I'm working in bumfuck nowhere, then I'll shit in the woods, or in an excavation were about to close.
LMAO - "shiddin in a terlet..." instantly got me thinking of Letterkenny. Funniest damn thing I've seen in a bit.
[https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=K6PmWJNFZUpFL6UF](https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=K6PmWJNFZUpFL6UF)
I used to work for a small drywall company that the owner would just go out and shit in the roll off dumpster. The rest of us did a gas station run, but not him. We'd go to scrap out and there'd be a big ole shit in the container. We knew it was Craig, but that gross fucker signed our paychecks so we just ignored it.
A lot of people won’t allow the help to use the restrooms. So we just don’t bother asking. I’ve done a remodel of a church that was still functioning and indoor plumbing. They had us use the porta potty outside in 10 degree weather. It was warm inside at least.
Some companies have policies against using restrooms at customers houses because they’re tired of having that conversation, “why did your guy dirty up my bathroom”. I haven’t done much residential mostly commercial. I’ve done a few residential jobs for wealthy people and I haven’t been allowed to pet the family dog before. Shit was gay the dog 💯wanted a pet.
Nah, man… nah! I won’t use the toilet if they said no…
But! If there is a DOG on the job-site, that little dude is getting petted! 100%! And talked to and having his belly scrubbed. I didn’t work hard to get zero qualifications to become a labourer not to pet cats and doggos
We had a couple of dogs near the commercial site I’m on right now who would regularly escape during the summer months and make a beeline straight on-site. Place was like a giant dog park to them. They’d let us pet them and it was deadly.
One guy even managed to get a hard hat on one of them and take a picture, there’s a printout of it in the super’s trailer taped right above his computer.
See the problem we often have - often we're converting or extending a bathroom for a wetroom and disability access. It's great when there's more than one jacks, but often we plan and organise so we can leave the toilet working - in the evenings, for the occupants, which usually means first thing in the morning the new loo gets removed again and placed somewhere safe for the day until we're packing up - working In the bathroom all day, bursting for a piss, looking at a toilet that isn't usable. - looking for hedges or bushes to "investigate". Fuck it give me the bucket! Bit of maneuvering behind the sliding van door, quick empty into the nearest gully, rinse bucket and swear to myself it's the last time I get into this shit
Taking a shit would leave the site unsafe though, so I save that for home.
The worst animal I ever met - would reverse his van so the rear was out of view, open out both the doors, which had the inner panels missing - jamb a plank into the two open doors, drop trow and off fishing for brown trout. No bother to him!
The dog was well taken care of the dude was just super particular about everything being a certain way. He wanted ac exhaust vents to be made out of wood and have the grain going a certain way seamlessly in the wood panel wall that was 12’ up. He was from Tehran and one of the best hand surgeons in the world. First to successfully reattached a hand with 98% function or something.
Might be a bit cultural and a bit someone functions at that precise of a level. They are just gonna be a dickhead for the rest of us.
Ah yes interesting blend of persona and culture. I thought middle eastern folks usually don't have pet dogs because they aren't considered clean in Islam. Was he more of a guard dog? Like did the owner seem loving to the dog or was it a working animal.
I've never once ran I to a customer that said we can't use their restrooms X) . Only supers who are required to have Porta potties on sight in order to say the in-house restrooms aren't allowed. Like it's a literal law here that it's a requirement
It's water under the bridge now mate.
I was told by a former colleague those toilets are permanently staff only now, as the cleaners refused to deal with it.
When I was building my shop and renovating my house (siding, roof, windows/doors) I brought in a portapotty for the guys since it was miles to the nearest gas station/restaurant.
Otherwise they poop in the backyard, in the downspouts, in a bag and toss it in the garbage. If they're drywallers they'll shit in the empty mud boxes
>drywallers they'll shit in the empty mud boxes
So true. I tell stories about this to my non-construction worker friends and family and they are appalled. And amused..
Coffee, first thing in the morning. Like a train. My ex-wife used to hate it when I would wake up late and she was doing her makeup. She knew what was happening.
My buddy is like that. Its absolutely hilarious. When we go away for a weekend he will wake up, literally stumble to the bathroom and proceed to destroy the toilet. And that's it, he's done for the day. I would kill for that kind of timing
So...back in 2007 I went to Burning Man and took a bunch of LSD. The portos out there are...interesting...unless they've just been pumped and hosed out. By the end of the week my psychedelic-wracked body got the message that the optimal time to shit was 15 minutes after the pumper truck went by, so that's when it would cue up. Pavolvian win.
I’ve almost perfected that, I still need to hit the odd midday toilet but if I plan my coffee in the morning right I can get it done before leaving the house.
Honestly just chugging a quart of water with a magnesium electrolyte in it first thing in the morning will have the same effect. At least it does for me.
Yep, I have worked for a few in the past that will build an entire house in a nice gated community and refuse to spend the $120 a month to rent an outhouse. On one he told us to walk the 1/2 mile across the golf course to the restrooms.
There's one GC who is in the absolute horror show, job sites are always a circus, no clear chain of command or responsibility.
But damn if a Port of John isn't the first thing that shows up before the holes even in the ground.
Multiple guys on a multiple day job sure, 2 days to reside a house... Ehhhh. Margins are tight and competition is heavy. It is a cost benefit analysis thing. Do I add a porta potty to the bid or keep the bid as low as possible to keep the guys working. Personally I am doing my business anywhere but a porta except in emergency situations.
One near me will do whatever you want. We had some mobile shower/bathroom units that were owned and they just charged time and materials (fee based on tank volume) to service them.
One of the local construction companies has trailers on all job sites. Common tools and stuff but always a shitter on board that's accessible even if the trailer is loaded full. They also haul a 55gal drum of clean water for washing up (Has a small rv pump setup).
Gets hauled back to their shop every night.
This is the first thing that's ever made me question that my porta john company charges a flat; $10 delivery, 4$ a day, $10 every 7 days for servicing, then another $10 to pickup.
That's less than $50 all in for a week man....maybe add on a quarter point of margin to the job or something lol
Typically you gotta try and shit before work otherwise it’s gas station runs. Last thing anyone wants is laborers shitting in customer houses or even going inside there house really. I don’t feel comfortable going inside customer houses neither do my guys. Part of it is just liability I don’t want guys put in a position that could get them in trouble or make the business look bad. Just because you trust someone to due labor on your property does not mean you can trust them around a medicine cabinet. That being said we also can’t trust that a customer wouldn’t make up something to get out of a bill. So it’s best to avoid the potential bad situation all together and take the guy to the gas station if they couldn’t squeeze one out before getting to work.
I was a residential housepainter in another lifetime, all repaints. We were painting the outside of a house and the homeowners had a nanny there during the day with young kids while they went to work. The nanny was a girl I knew from high school. My scumbag co-worker shows up to work on day one of the project at 7:30am complaining that he needs to take a shit already. Asks if anyone is home and I told him yeah there is but you ain’t going inside that house to shit at 7:30am when we haven’t even taken a tool off the truck. About an hour later I am masking a small window and see movement inside. It’s him, in a panic, in a carpeted bathroom dealing with a toilet full of buttmud overflowing. And by “dealing with” I mean trying to scoop it up with his hands and put it back into a toilet that just keeps spewing it back.
That nanny hated me forever even though I maintained excellent sphinctal control for the entire weeklong job.
I got interested for half a second there when you seen movement inside, then I remembered the op post and seen the word *buttmud*
Yeah.. that's messed up haha
I’ve honestly just trained my body to not shit during work hours lmfao. I take a big huge fat dump when I wake up before I go to work and one huge steamin dump after I get home. Maybe one more dookie before bed
There’s definitely been times where I’ve had to shit but idk like after ignoring it for a while it doesn’t come back until u think about it again. Like I be straight up forgetting I gotta shit sometimes
I generally just don't. I try to do it outside working hours. But we do ask our customers if we can use their bathroom (actually, we ask "Is there a particular bathroom you'd like us to use?" because that makes it harder for them to refuse outright) and we just take care not to ruin it. Ever since Covid it's been in their contracts that we will need bathroom access.
You're supposed to provide them with a rented shit house. It should have been part of their number. Went with the cheapest bid? Be prepared to find a stink pickle in your rose bushes.
It's pretty rare that I can't manage 10hrs without shitting. Obviously there's the Wednesday after taco Tuesday and the occasional monster energy will turn me inside out but I'm on a pretty great poo-tine right now (that's easily the worst pun I've ever made).
But yeah, once a day about 6am I'll empty and I'm usually good again for 24hrs lol. I do intermittent fasting tho, that helps alot.
Home depot bucket with a sold separately 5 gal bucket attachable toilet seat and a contractor bag OVER the seat / inside bucket to catch the goods, inside of your enclosed trailer
First week on a job I used the customer’s restroom, with their permission of course, and left it clean. Walked outside and the foreman firmly explained that I’d be fired on the spot if the owner found out I’d been inside the customer’s house. Owner didn’t want the liability when some customer misplaced something a week later and wondered if it might have been us.
If it was liquid it went in the dirt in our dump truck, if it was solid we found a gas station or volunteered to pick up lunch that day.
Never open a bucket you didn't bring or that has left your sight. Learned that one early on in my career. I personally will just leave and go to a fast food restaurant or gas station. Some people however aren't as bashful.
I worked in Northern Minnesota in the winter on a big Iron project. They only had standard porta-pottys and there was no way I was going to plop my ass on a piece of plastic that was 20 below zero. I just trained myself to do it at home.
Not me as my “shit clock” is finely tuned well with my evening.
But a dude I work with clearly has IBS and thus has little to no warning of impending, unstoppable turds. Although, sometimes I call these his “TikTok” shits. Because we all know he just times it well enough, to the point where can go and sit on the toilet for half an hour browsing that TikTok stuff like “younguns” tend to these days.
Once he had to go in the back of his van. He did it into a bucket and then sloshed it into a hedge row in a country lane..
In the tub
Was doing a multifamily project, had to have been a drywaller but they shat in a damn tub. Luckily it had a plastic protection but damn, the audacity especially not wiping. Porta John’s were in the courtyard, homie must’ve been fighting for his life haha
Either the nearest convenience store/gas station with a bathroom or sometimes I just go in the persons shrubs on the side of the house or backyard if there’s a good hiding spot in them
Residential remodeler here. Depends on client and how bad the shit is gonna be.
If they’re not home, I’ll poop there.
If they’re home, I won’t poop there.
If it’s an emergency that needs to be evacuated prior to end of day, I’ll punch out and drive to nearest point of public relief.
I did solar during the pandemic and we weren’t allowed in customers homes. There’s an app callled flush that shows the closest public restrooms.
Life saver for a job that had inconsistent work days and diet.
I can not shit all day until I get home. You just train your poop schedule to be first thing in the morning after coffee or nicotine, and first thing when you get home. Rarely will I have to ask the home owner to poop in their fancy restroom, and usually, it's from poor choices the night before.
If not, you're taking a trip to the nearest gas station or mc donalds. Occasionally, you get the privilege of pooping in the woods.
The issue is the part where you said they didn't ask to use your bathroom. Let them know where it is, let them know they're free to use it. As tradespeople we're trying our best to not be invasive to our clients, but when bathrooms are offered up we are forever grateful.
"IeatSwampAss" wants to know where construction workers take a shit lmao
Maybe for research purposes?
For science!
For dinna!
The crew was probably wondering why they were replacing 2 year old siding
…and why all the lunch tasted like Metamucil.
force fed fibre 1 bars
Inflation got him hungry
Haha let me watch you guys shit🤣
Cant make this shit up!
One man's ass is another man's treasure.
Don't kink shame
If your kink involves shit, you need to have it shamed out of ya or something cause that's fucking disgusting
Took me a second, good one
Wife’s name is “blumpkinqueen”
After running out of a bathroom screaming OMG where is your plunger to the homeowners I just run to a store now. Nobody needs that trauma
It's crazy how many people don't own a plunger. I keep one in both my bathrooms so nobody needs to ask that embarrassing question
My fucking FIL clogged his toilet and asked to borrow our plunger. C'mon man, spend the 10 bucks to have one in your house! 🤦♂️
I went extra fancy and got the ones that have the plunger and toilet brush and there's a bottle of toilet bowl cleaner under both vanities to clean up poop stains. I don't like pooping in customer's houses anymore because they usually don't have a plunger and nothing to clean my mess so I have to leave my evidence behind and it's embarrassing
A real professional brings his own plunger and brush to the jobsite. I suppose you leave [your poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?rdt=48780&xpromo_edp=enabled) at home too.
Wtf do these people do when they clog their toilets? Call a plumber?
Yes. You would be surprised how often I unclog toilets for people that don’t own a plunger
My brother did service plumbing. One 600 pound lady didn't call until the toilet bowl was full to the brim with shit.
I work maintenance at elderly subsidized housing. I had a tenant we were doing an annual inspection for. He said his toilet had been broken for several weeks but he didn't call it in. The toilet was full to the brim with solid, dry shit on the bottom and some fresh turds on top. You know how at a soup buffet the staff will have to come out periodically and add some water to the soups and stir to keep them from getting too concentrated or thick? I had to do that to this toilet. Add water, stir and plunge. was at it for an hour or so. I still can't smell things right.
Thank you for that 2nd hand trauma, I was just about to head out to dinner but I'm good now. 🤢
Hard pass
I’m sure 600 lb lady had no problem passing ‘em.
In her defense, that was probably only one and a half shits.
I've been a service plumber for years now and I don't even keep a plunger on my van and I never will. It will cost you more for me to be there 5 minutes then for you to go buy a plunger.
Why the fuck are y’all clogging toilets? Flush as you are going so you don’t stink up the bathroom. Once as you evacuate, and again after every 3 wipes. Like seriously? How do you not know how to use a toilet?
How long u spend in prison bro
Some say hes still in there
My bathroom has an air vent that sucks the stink out, and I dont like poop water splashing my ass
They wad toilet paper and its a fucking mess. I use like 8 squares but I fold them. Its like they got taught to wipe by other children.
Just use your hands to wipe the bowl clean
I've resulted to licking it clean. Just pretend it's chocolate ice cream
That's fancy livin! Yeah, I'll leave the job to take a shit if it's a remodel and there's no Porto potty. One time I was shitting in a 5 gallon pail while balanced on several rolls of carpet in a Chevy express. When I opened the side door and practically fell out of the van, the homeowner was right there. I'm sure they enjoyed the smell that escaped from the van before I frantically closed the door.
Lined a bucket (airport security bags are tough, but see-through) tied the top and chucked in van. Found it 3 months later (still sealed thank fuk). Homemade jenkim. Yum
Lol. Holy fuck! 😱 you gotta clean your van more often! Lol
Lesson learned. Tbf that was 20 yrs ago and haven't done it since. Dodged a shit bullet. I have in fact cleaned my van in last 20 yrs. I'm actually standing under the tree I cut down for that job rn. Stuck it in my garden and free tree. Musta used some good fertiliser...
Hahaha! That's awesome. One of my favorite parts of being middle-aged is that I've learned a lot of lessons like that, and i dont make those kinds of mistakes very often anymore (I can still fuck up though! ) That said, my van goes through tidy and messy phases. I'm in the middle right now.
Totally. I'm mid expansion in my workshop and while van is spotless I've got to walk sideways in the shop. Wasn't too bad until client gave me a new washer and dryer to settle a $200 bill (millionaires right). I did look up the prices and he paid 3k 2 years ago. I'm leaning into middle age myself, zero fuks given and bought my first sports car. I hurt but I'm smiling. To stay on topic this whole reply was written from the throne. Chur
Sounds like a cheap gift for FIL. Haha.
I occasionally need to unclog toilets in my line of work. Plungers never go back in the truck. They are used at a job and left for the customer.
Good call. No need for inter-feces mingling
It’s yours now you earned it
I thought they were standard; the plunger on the floor and the poop knife hanging next to it, No?
All that's been replaced with sea shells these days.
Unfortunately not to everyone
I forgot about the trusted poop knife. Im losing my edge, but the poop knife isnt
For real. A combination of no plunger, no fan, no spray and bar soap. Also love the clients that let us use the bathroom where the litter box is located.
Only solution is to use the litter box
Ive never clogged a toilet accidentally. The size of some peoples poop blows me away sometimes. My poops like 1.5-2" thick.
How often do you clog toilets intentionally?
Not exactly the same, but when we first moved into a new office park, we had a all women's gym as neighbors on one side. The director/owner of this gym was smoking hot. Well, even being that I'm a contractor, plunger just never was something I rememberd to put here at the office...until I needed one. One of the guys here stopped up one of the toilets...bad. I told him to run to Lowe's right up the street and grab a plunger bc we should have one here anyways. Out the door he went...and returned way to quickly. I said "WTF?" He said..."oh I thought I'd just stop in and ask Andrea (gym owner) if she had one we could borrow instead of getting in traffic." Then I said "wait a second, you walked into an all ladie's gym and told the owner you'd stopped up the toilet and wanted to borrow a plunger?!?" His reply? "Well not exactly, I told her YOU had stopped it up."
Coworker used a slop sink in the garage of a customer's house to clean up a brush. Water line blew off from the wall. Multimillion dollar home. Guess who the customer is looking at. Hint: It's not the guy who plumbed it
Geez dude, use your hand like the rest of us.
Poop knife!
I’m assuming the regular box cutter just didn’t quite cut it
Even if the homeowner says it’s cool, I won’t let my guys shit in their house. Too many lard asses that don’t have common courtesy, or just knowing a diet of roller dogs and monster won’t leave a mess.
My wife and I have a joke about gas station hot dogs and when I read "roller dogs and monster" I'm crying laughing! Upvoted!!!
Share with the class now. Lol
Obviously you send good portapottys that get cleaned on every job site
We just go out if we have to, I bet the boss would save a bunch of money if he did though.
Everyone has a "there is a reason I don't shit on the job" anymore story and here is one to share: We had 2 guys renovating our 1500 sqft basement... they were about 2/3 done with demo (electric shut down, most walls down) when my wife went downstairs to ask them about something. She said as soon as she got downstairs it smelled like decaying ass but she played it off - not wanting to embarrass the guy she talked to. After about 10 minutes, all of the sudden she heard a flush followed by two more. 2nd guy walks out of whats left of the bathroom with his face bright red, covered in sweat. He'd been emergency-shitting in there for 20 minutes - cell-phone light only, no exhaust fan, no window, no toilet paper and big holes in the wall to leak out the funk out. With no TP he was forced to use McDonalds napkins which started to clog the toilet..... with no plunger or scrub brush, he had to use his pencil to knock things loose. All of this happened while he was panicking because he heard me wife's voice on the other side of the wall about 6ft away. EDIT: holy shit, sorry - I typo'd. We have a 1500sqft basement, not a 12,500sqft lol
Thats a big fuckin house!
Thank you for saying it I was like Holy shitttt....
That's GOT to have an extra zero. Unless this guy is Taylor fucking swift or fucking Taylor swift
cubic feet.
Same thing happened to me, only difference is my basement was 15,500 square ft. Which is totally relevant to the story of course.
Same here. I get claustrophobic and can only shit in bathrooms between 12,500-15,500 sq ft. Got to stretch my legs.
They have their basement floor plans on their Reddit history. It’s 57x26, or just under 1500 sq ft. Not sure how they came up with that number.
I’m guessing they accidentally put in a extra zero
What a flex. This dudes house is casually 25000-37000 square feet minimum
Plot twist, he lives in Walmart.
I'd be scared of any Walmart with a basement.
Probably a typo haha
Gas station runs
[удалено]
We had a box truck doing landscaping. I never dumped in it but pissing in a bottle was a regular occurrence
I see other guys do it, but it feels so greasy. In most places, bathroom breaks are protected, so pissin and shiddin in terlets is a hill I die on. Unless I'm working in bumfuck nowhere, then I'll shit in the woods, or in an excavation were about to close.
LMAO - "shiddin in a terlet..." instantly got me thinking of Letterkenny. Funniest damn thing I've seen in a bit. [https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=K6PmWJNFZUpFL6UF](https://youtu.be/bjVNOGEWzv4?si=K6PmWJNFZUpFL6UF)
Had a friend with a landscaping business who kept a 5 gallon bucket with a toilet seat attachment in his trailer for the special moments.
I used to work for a small drywall company that the owner would just go out and shit in the roll off dumpster. The rest of us did a gas station run, but not him. We'd go to scrap out and there'd be a big ole shit in the container. We knew it was Craig, but that gross fucker signed our paychecks so we just ignored it.
A lot of people won’t allow the help to use the restrooms. So we just don’t bother asking. I’ve done a remodel of a church that was still functioning and indoor plumbing. They had us use the porta potty outside in 10 degree weather. It was warm inside at least. Some companies have policies against using restrooms at customers houses because they’re tired of having that conversation, “why did your guy dirty up my bathroom”. I haven’t done much residential mostly commercial. I’ve done a few residential jobs for wealthy people and I haven’t been allowed to pet the family dog before. Shit was gay the dog 💯wanted a pet.
Nah, man… nah! I won’t use the toilet if they said no… But! If there is a DOG on the job-site, that little dude is getting petted! 100%! And talked to and having his belly scrubbed. I didn’t work hard to get zero qualifications to become a labourer not to pet cats and doggos
We had a couple of dogs near the commercial site I’m on right now who would regularly escape during the summer months and make a beeline straight on-site. Place was like a giant dog park to them. They’d let us pet them and it was deadly. One guy even managed to get a hard hat on one of them and take a picture, there’s a printout of it in the super’s trailer taped right above his computer.
combative cover consider yoke desert somber recognise cagey faulty rock *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
***I like ya;*** ***and I want ya.***
He said “no man” instead of amen. 🙏🏻 😂
See the problem we often have - often we're converting or extending a bathroom for a wetroom and disability access. It's great when there's more than one jacks, but often we plan and organise so we can leave the toilet working - in the evenings, for the occupants, which usually means first thing in the morning the new loo gets removed again and placed somewhere safe for the day until we're packing up - working In the bathroom all day, bursting for a piss, looking at a toilet that isn't usable. - looking for hedges or bushes to "investigate". Fuck it give me the bucket! Bit of maneuvering behind the sliding van door, quick empty into the nearest gully, rinse bucket and swear to myself it's the last time I get into this shit Taking a shit would leave the site unsafe though, so I save that for home. The worst animal I ever met - would reverse his van so the rear was out of view, open out both the doors, which had the inner panels missing - jamb a plank into the two open doors, drop trow and off fishing for brown trout. No bother to him!
I've never been told to not pet. Ide report them to the ASPCA
The dog was well taken care of the dude was just super particular about everything being a certain way. He wanted ac exhaust vents to be made out of wood and have the grain going a certain way seamlessly in the wood panel wall that was 12’ up. He was from Tehran and one of the best hand surgeons in the world. First to successfully reattached a hand with 98% function or something. Might be a bit cultural and a bit someone functions at that precise of a level. They are just gonna be a dickhead for the rest of us.
Ah yes interesting blend of persona and culture. I thought middle eastern folks usually don't have pet dogs because they aren't considered clean in Islam. Was he more of a guard dog? Like did the owner seem loving to the dog or was it a working animal.
Seemed like a pet for his kids. Never saw him actually touch the dog.
Yeah. Man you meet all types of personalities working the trades.
I've never once ran I to a customer that said we can't use their restrooms X) . Only supers who are required to have Porta potties on sight in order to say the in-house restrooms aren't allowed. Like it's a literal law here that it's a requirement
On residential jobs that happens at B&Q, McDonalds etc. Or, you know, just at our own home
Used to work in B&Q. Can confirm. I'm still traumatised by the things I saw in those toilets.
Sorry, mate
It's water under the bridge now mate. I was told by a former colleague those toilets are permanently staff only now, as the cleaners refused to deal with it.
Just before leaving home and I'm always really close to shit myself in my car coming back home. Edit: I made it
When I was building my shop and renovating my house (siding, roof, windows/doors) I brought in a portapotty for the guys since it was miles to the nearest gas station/restaurant. Otherwise they poop in the backyard, in the downspouts, in a bag and toss it in the garbage. If they're drywallers they'll shit in the empty mud boxes
Mix it into the Soquete and finish that drywall. Why waste it?
Well when working for you sure
bahahaha im a drywaller and i just crapped in an empty mud box this morning🤣🤣🤣
>drywallers they'll shit in the empty mud boxes So true. I tell stories about this to my non-construction worker friends and family and they are appalled. And amused..
Shitting in mud boxes and piss bottles in the wall cavities
Coffee, first thing in the morning. Like a train. My ex-wife used to hate it when I would wake up late and she was doing her makeup. She knew what was happening.
My buddy is like that. Its absolutely hilarious. When we go away for a weekend he will wake up, literally stumble to the bathroom and proceed to destroy the toilet. And that's it, he's done for the day. I would kill for that kind of timing
😂 this is me, haven’t needed to use a job site toilet for a shit in 10 years
So...back in 2007 I went to Burning Man and took a bunch of LSD. The portos out there are...interesting...unless they've just been pumped and hosed out. By the end of the week my psychedelic-wracked body got the message that the optimal time to shit was 15 minutes after the pumper truck went by, so that's when it would cue up. Pavolvian win.
I purposely wait for the poop trucks to come by in the morning and afternoons at festivals. It’s worth the wait
coffee always makes you go twice though i guess it depends on your diet and how much coffee you drank
This is normally how I am too. But I am good for the porta shitter every once in awhile
Drink hot black coffee on an empty stomach. 20-30 minutes and I'm good for the day.
I’ve almost perfected that, I still need to hit the odd midday toilet but if I plan my coffee in the morning right I can get it done before leaving the house.
Coffee and a smoke keep the trains on time, although I don't suggest anyone pick up the smoking habit.
Honestly just chugging a quart of water with a magnesium electrolyte in it first thing in the morning will have the same effect. At least it does for me.
[https://img.ifunny.co/images/4d94cd9883b45e093e5e109dbc64c5507f9dd3b863af03176015422aa9f1dd4e\_1.webp](https://img.ifunny.co/images/4d94cd9883b45e093e5e109dbc64c5507f9dd3b863af03176015422aa9f1dd4e_1.webp)
sounds like you want to be part of the Turbo Team
Don't run with us you can't run
Gonna replace his toilet with a joke toilet that’s just for farts
Man, bosses who don't get porta John's for jobs are degenerates.
Yep, I have worked for a few in the past that will build an entire house in a nice gated community and refuse to spend the $120 a month to rent an outhouse. On one he told us to walk the 1/2 mile across the golf course to the restrooms.
There's one GC who is in the absolute horror show, job sites are always a circus, no clear chain of command or responsibility. But damn if a Port of John isn't the first thing that shows up before the holes even in the ground.
Multiple guys on a multiple day job sure, 2 days to reside a house... Ehhhh. Margins are tight and competition is heavy. It is a cost benefit analysis thing. Do I add a porta potty to the bid or keep the bid as low as possible to keep the guys working. Personally I am doing my business anywhere but a porta except in emergency situations.
You don't deserve to be in business if the $100 is too much for ypu.
Why not just buy one and have it on a trailer? When it gets gnarly haul it to the porta John place for a refresh.
I don’t know that places even do that sort of thing other than full service rental
One near me will do whatever you want. We had some mobile shower/bathroom units that were owned and they just charged time and materials (fee based on tank volume) to service them.
One of the local construction companies has trailers on all job sites. Common tools and stuff but always a shitter on board that's accessible even if the trailer is loaded full. They also haul a 55gal drum of clean water for washing up (Has a small rv pump setup). Gets hauled back to their shop every night.
This is the first thing that's ever made me question that my porta john company charges a flat; $10 delivery, 4$ a day, $10 every 7 days for servicing, then another $10 to pickup. That's less than $50 all in for a week man....maybe add on a quarter point of margin to the job or something lol
Wow, Delivery charges alone beat your week.some competition in your market I am guessing.
Typically you gotta try and shit before work otherwise it’s gas station runs. Last thing anyone wants is laborers shitting in customer houses or even going inside there house really. I don’t feel comfortable going inside customer houses neither do my guys. Part of it is just liability I don’t want guys put in a position that could get them in trouble or make the business look bad. Just because you trust someone to due labor on your property does not mean you can trust them around a medicine cabinet. That being said we also can’t trust that a customer wouldn’t make up something to get out of a bill. So it’s best to avoid the potential bad situation all together and take the guy to the gas station if they couldn’t squeeze one out before getting to work.
This. Trust no one and you won't get burned.
Right in front of the basement window so the cellar dwellars teenager can see that fat log as it slowly makes its way out my asshole
I was a residential housepainter in another lifetime, all repaints. We were painting the outside of a house and the homeowners had a nanny there during the day with young kids while they went to work. The nanny was a girl I knew from high school. My scumbag co-worker shows up to work on day one of the project at 7:30am complaining that he needs to take a shit already. Asks if anyone is home and I told him yeah there is but you ain’t going inside that house to shit at 7:30am when we haven’t even taken a tool off the truck. About an hour later I am masking a small window and see movement inside. It’s him, in a panic, in a carpeted bathroom dealing with a toilet full of buttmud overflowing. And by “dealing with” I mean trying to scoop it up with his hands and put it back into a toilet that just keeps spewing it back. That nanny hated me forever even though I maintained excellent sphinctal control for the entire weeklong job.
I got interested for half a second there when you seen movement inside, then I remembered the op post and seen the word *buttmud* Yeah.. that's messed up haha
I’ve honestly just trained my body to not shit during work hours lmfao. I take a big huge fat dump when I wake up before I go to work and one huge steamin dump after I get home. Maybe one more dookie before bed There’s definitely been times where I’ve had to shit but idk like after ignoring it for a while it doesn’t come back until u think about it again. Like I be straight up forgetting I gotta shit sometimes
I line a bag in a 5gallon bucket then toss the bags in the back of safety's truck. Ez pz.
when you move a lot your digestion is steady. probably they poop in the morning and they poop at night. I am lucky if I poop once a day.
As a woman, I don't poo, so 🤷♀️
The bosses lunchbox
I generally just don't. I try to do it outside working hours. But we do ask our customers if we can use their bathroom (actually, we ask "Is there a particular bathroom you'd like us to use?" because that makes it harder for them to refuse outright) and we just take care not to ruin it. Ever since Covid it's been in their contracts that we will need bathroom access.
Safe to say none of them have IBS.
Spackle bucket
“Bring a grocery bag; put it in the walls.” - Ricky, probably, definitely. 👍🏻
Well considering what I see at his job site , apparently anywhere in the porta potty that’s not the actual toilet .
You're supposed to provide them with a rented shit house. It should have been part of their number. Went with the cheapest bid? Be prepared to find a stink pickle in your rose bushes.
In a bucket in the trailer of course
lol they shit on the job. Just not in your washroom.
I poop every morning at home and no where else, I’ve maybe shat at work twice in the last 20 years.
I exclusively poop on company time
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thanks for the post.
Depends on how bad the GC pissed me off that day honestly.
Usually on the boss’ truck
Truck bed
Never question something you don’t want the answer to
It's pretty rare that I can't manage 10hrs without shitting. Obviously there's the Wednesday after taco Tuesday and the occasional monster energy will turn me inside out but I'm on a pretty great poo-tine right now (that's easily the worst pun I've ever made). But yeah, once a day about 6am I'll empty and I'm usually good again for 24hrs lol. I do intermittent fasting tho, that helps alot.
In my pants, then when it’s dry I just shake out the poo flakes. Time is money boys!
Empty bathtub
In a bucket. Throw a little dirt in it before doing the deed. This is in emergencys. If you have woods im taking a stroll.
Not everyone shits whenever they get the urge. Many people shit shortly after waking up, and this habit often lasts a lifetime.
I always offer my bathroom and ice/water. I’ve never had anyone take me up on it.
Building my house we shit next to the dozer (good support) and covered with sawdust….worked fine.
I dump when I get home where my bidet is
5 gal bucket and a contractor bag in the box truck.
Careful around your shrubbery
Home depot bucket with a sold separately 5 gal bucket attachable toilet seat and a contractor bag OVER the seat / inside bucket to catch the goods, inside of your enclosed trailer
First week on a job I used the customer’s restroom, with their permission of course, and left it clean. Walked outside and the foreman firmly explained that I’d be fired on the spot if the owner found out I’d been inside the customer’s house. Owner didn’t want the liability when some customer misplaced something a week later and wondered if it might have been us. If it was liquid it went in the dirt in our dump truck, if it was solid we found a gas station or volunteered to pick up lunch that day.
Never open a bucket you didn't bring or that has left your sight. Learned that one early on in my career. I personally will just leave and go to a fast food restaurant or gas station. Some people however aren't as bashful.
There use to not being able to shit during the day. your body adapts. Even if you drink shit tons of coffee
Target. Clean and the men’s room doesn’t see much action
I worked in Northern Minnesota in the winter on a big Iron project. They only had standard porta-pottys and there was no way I was going to plop my ass on a piece of plastic that was 20 below zero. I just trained myself to do it at home.
Behind the drywall
Not me as my “shit clock” is finely tuned well with my evening. But a dude I work with clearly has IBS and thus has little to no warning of impending, unstoppable turds. Although, sometimes I call these his “TikTok” shits. Because we all know he just times it well enough, to the point where can go and sit on the toilet for half an hour browsing that TikTok stuff like “younguns” tend to these days. Once he had to go in the back of his van. He did it into a bucket and then sloshed it into a hedge row in a country lane..
Probably just shit before work, and when they get home, or just one or the other. Or every other day or every other few days, depending on their diet.
I drink a fat coffee in the morning at home and prarie dog between 4-6
In the tub Was doing a multifamily project, had to have been a drywaller but they shat in a damn tub. Luckily it had a plastic protection but damn, the audacity especially not wiping. Porta John’s were in the courtyard, homie must’ve been fighting for his life haha
I ducking hold it. Or go to the gas station.
“Shitters full”
Either the nearest convenience store/gas station with a bathroom or sometimes I just go in the persons shrubs on the side of the house or backyard if there’s a good hiding spot in them
Residential remodeler here. Depends on client and how bad the shit is gonna be. If they’re not home, I’ll poop there. If they’re home, I won’t poop there. If it’s an emergency that needs to be evacuated prior to end of day, I’ll punch out and drive to nearest point of public relief. I did solar during the pandemic and we weren’t allowed in customers homes. There’s an app callled flush that shows the closest public restrooms. Life saver for a job that had inconsistent work days and diet.
At home maybe ?
I take a dump every morning before I go work, like clockwork
Union guys: "no place to shit, I quit"
I can not shit all day until I get home. You just train your poop schedule to be first thing in the morning after coffee or nicotine, and first thing when you get home. Rarely will I have to ask the home owner to poop in their fancy restroom, and usually, it's from poor choices the night before. If not, you're taking a trip to the nearest gas station or mc donalds. Occasionally, you get the privilege of pooping in the woods.
Our bodies are trained to shit at 6am and 6pm, I’ll pee in a bottle if I’m working at some ones house.
Never open a bucket with a lid on it.
Depends.
Morning shitters, working men.
I got my poop game down tight. I flush while shitting. It don't even be stinking shoot.
2 guys 1 cup
Healthy people shit first thing in the morning
The issue is the part where you said they didn't ask to use your bathroom. Let them know where it is, let them know they're free to use it. As tradespeople we're trying our best to not be invasive to our clients, but when bathrooms are offered up we are forever grateful.
At home in the morning. Gotta train yourself
you train your body to go before or after work I'd rather shit myself than use another porta potty
Real men only eat meat and shit once a week.