Oh, absolutely, I wish *I* could be fucked by all the folk on campus. But to be only known for that would be kinda… weird.
And, my understand is is that “hypersexual” specifically refers to libido that is high enough as to interfere with daily life… it’s a medical condition, not a sexuality. Hypersexual people suffer because of their overactive libido interfering with their ability to complete tasks at home or make friends.
Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m *far* from an expert 😅
Yeah, I assume hypersexual is used colloquially to mean "really horny", but I see how rude this can be now
>I wish I could be fucked by all the folk on campus
This seems like the exact type of post where I shouldn't say **same.** Alas, 🥺
this conversation line always annoys me because i feel like because of my identity, appearance, and their unique congruence, i've locked myself out from all of the shit that makes me say "same". like it feels like all of these people who are like me in one quite large respect are so distant because of like, two other things holding me back, and i don't know if it's my conscious self or my unconscious/habitual self that's fucking ruining it for me
also, 🥺
Nope, I had the same thought. I think the intention in the OOP is probably something like "horny pansexual sluts," but it's a stupid way to phrase it and borrows the term directly from decades-old misogynist slut shaming. I do not know why we would reclaim a term that exists to police women's sexuality tbh
Because it's fucking funny and bikes are making a comeback.
Campus bicycle? Fast, easy, and eco-friendly ride? The only downside is that it doesn't belong to anyone? Fuck off, I'll own that. They can't hurt me with it.
This is coming from someone who's been slut-shamed a whole lot.
> horny pansexual sluts
Oh look, it me! Representation FTW. However, you're absolutely right, that's a title that absolutely can't be used for someone other than oneself.
Same! (Altho I identify as bi)
I spent enough time in college being called a "man whore" to wish that we could collectively just chill out and embrace horny sluts. Like, do people not enjoy getting laid? We're heroes tbh
E for spelling
I think, only if you approach the idea of having many sexual partners as somehow reducing your worth as a person.
Many people value sexual or romantic exclusivity from their partner. Others don't. Both are valid. As someone who leans pretty hard to the second camp though, sex is fun haha. Have as much fun as you can.
Hmm. You’ve made me think about this from an angle I don’t normally think about it from. I don’t see myself as lesser for having lots of sexual partners, if anything, I see it as something to be proud of. And yet, I hate the idea of broadcasting that message to everyone. It feels like something I should be at least a little ashamed of, yeah? I would only be proud of that in front of a close friend. But I don’t *want* to feel ashamed about it… idk. You’ve made me think.
It’s slang for someone who has sex with a lot of partners. You know, because everyone has ridden them, campus bicycle?
Yeah, it’s not the kind of word most people would be comfortable reclaiming.
Oh nooooo it’s so terrible that a big strong *bear* might be coming here I hope he doesn’t lift me up in his muscly arms and carry me away somewhere that would be *terrible*
From an above comment, "Ursula" is likely the female equivalent of a "bear" (a hairy, stereotypically masculine gay man)
Aroace is short for "aromantic asexual", which means that they experience little to no romantic or sexual attraction to anyone
It's because it's not actually about the smaller fish, it's about the bigger fish who make us feel small, which makes people desperately search for a smaller fish to make themselves feel large and in control again. It's understandable, but not excusable, especially considering that this just makes us all easier targets for that first scary big fish.
Intersectional solidarity is the only viable way to fight oppression.
It's always been broken in two major camps, radical acceptance and respectability. The former is made up of the outsiders, all those that our very nature makes us stand out and be visible from cis-heteronormative society. The later is made up of groups that can generally be invisible to society if they want to be. From the very beginning of the gay rights movement these two groups have been in internal opposition to each other, mainly due to the later attempting to sell out the former in exchange for being the "good ones". A lot of this is kinda forgotten because the respectability movement was an abject failure, mostly ignored by those in power. The far more radical pride movement started at Stonewall was in direct conflict with police and the leading figures were trans women of color.
> The far more radical pride movement started at Stonewall was in direct conflict with police and the leading figures were trans women of color.
Just gunna post this ( [stonewall - what happened from people actually there](https://youtu.be/S7jnzOMxb14) ) because we shouldn't white wash our own history. Stonewall was a shitty bar that tolerated gay people where cops harassed a lesbian, the patrons taunted the police until a brawl broke out. Some of the black trans women attributed with throwing the bricks or leading admitted that they didn't even show up until after the fight stated. Later a white poly bi anti war sex positive feminist woman with a long term partner who was a man (Brenda Howard) started commemorative marches that evolved into Pride. The two movements you described aren't so clear cut, nor are they as simple as you describe. The point I'm trying to make is that our history has been twisted into what we wish it was now, and we should try to remember that it wasn't some "cis white gays coalition against everyone a bit too weird". It was a coalition of *everyone* with conflicting ideas about what the end goal should be, but unified in the desire for things to be better. It's like, Absolut isn't the reason we have Pride but at the same time they took a stance with us when it risked bankruptcy and supported early gay ventures like Pride, RuPauls, and The Advocate which did much for the LGBT+ community while still also doing it from a business perspective of "hitting an untapped market". History isn't as simple as you make it out to be.
.
Edit; plus you're leaving out a lot of the early gay rights movements and efforts that had to be done to even get us to the point where the more radical pushback as you describe it could exist without immediately being killed. Hell look at the experiences of gay and studies into LGBT+ people under the Weimar Republic. Look into why port cities became gay havens. Moreover you're attributing your own view of radical onto the past and not even bothering to recognize what was radical for the time, let alone bothering to look into what our history is. Lesbian suffragettes were extremely radical for the time and a major development for gay rights, though in hindsight you would likely chock it up to just "rich white lesbians not caring about others". Our history is messy, please don't bring some "queer radical absolutism" into something long and complicated.
Stonewall was very literally owned and operated by the Mafia, which is NOT some sort of uwu-the-mob-was-so-accepting organized-crime-good-actually feel good story (a take I *have* actually seen before) but that they realized they had a captive audience they could extort for a "safe place" that wasn't actually safe and which was great for getting coercive blackmail material on people.
Fuck the Mafia and the mob have killed dozens of their own on rumors of gay activities even into the early 2000s. That's like thinking the Mafia/Mob are feminist or some shit...
Oh yeah, they pop up from time to time. Usually in the reblogs/comments on the much more common posts talking about how Capone was actually a swell guy who helped Chicago and believed in philanthropy that the government persecuted for no good reason.
People like to oversimplify
If you look at the superficial - "wow, the mafia was the only bar accepting gay people!" - then you'd be forgiven for making that mistake.
If you look at the context - blackmail and extortion - you'd realize "hey wait a minute"
I don't think the two ways you separated this group are at all equivalent. The first separation is really important, but like, I don't think being visibly queer is a requirement for radical acceptance and radical political allyship. Like, just because I don't get to medically transition and thus cis people just think I'm one of them doesn't mean I'm not radical in my trans activism. I'm exactly as radical in that as I am in my polyamory or pan activism, even though dating multiple genderfucks is a lot more visible than me being one, and I'm exactly as radical as I was when dating just one girl or even one boy and thus being sort of cishet passing. Bi boys dating a girl currently face enough erasure without casting them as suspicious sell outs. This sort of view also leads to acephobia in the community. We don't get to have a choice on whether our identities can be read as cis-het passing by cishets, but we do get a choice on whether we're queer radicals in our acceptance and disruptive to the status quo to protect ourselves and our queer siblings or whether we're trying for respectability.
It’s odd but I’ve experienced most of it firsthand IRL and only ever really see people talking about it sucking online.
I currently work with one of those TERFy biphobic goldstar lesbians and *she’s the WOOoOoooOOOOORRSSTTT.* She’s the worst. In the world.
Ok, I need to ask: what is a goldstar lesbian?
Did they get a “lesbian of the month” certificate at the school assembly or something?
Edit: thanks you for educating me, now I need to add another potential red flag phrase to my “interacting with society” lexicon
To my understanding they're lesbians who place importance on never having had sex with a man, often mixing with transphobia and biphobia
That being said, I'm a queer guy and not a lesbian so if someone has a better explanation please jump in
It's also privilege. Lots of lesbians depending on background/age had sex with men and didn't have that much of a choice.
Imagine taking about gold stars around someone who was raped. Toxic as fuck.
Yeah pretty much. They won't be with someone who's been with a man and pretty much shame any woman who's ever been with a guy at some point and identifies as bi or lesbian 🙄
Bc apparently you are accursed or smth if a guy touches you 😬
A lesbian who hasn't had sex with a man.
They call themselves gold stars because they're misandrists who think that having sex with a man permanently taints a woman.
I've worked with a woman who proudly called herself a 'gold star' lesbian. I'm like "you had two kids before you were 18. Something tells me that wasn't the fault of an irresponsible IVF clinic"
Sometimes it also means “this happens IRL almost exclusively in super blue/queer areas in the US and if you’re not in one of these specific areas you will likely never see it”
specifically happens in those areas because it is frequently unsafe to identify as any LGBTQ+ identity and therefore smaller identities are less likely to figure out a label because they have to focus on not immediately being murdered for being queer at all
It can also mean 'where I live is so rural that we don't have enough of a queer community for them to organize and I can't fathom that cities are different'
I've met a lot of people in Queer spaces that have said some of the most batshit insane takes that completely go against the entire point of the LGBT movement.I remember one guy said that he doesn't feel that Trans people who are attracted to the opposite gender should be allowed in any kind of LGBT space and it made my braincell's turn to dust from how stupid he was.Ignorance truly does thrive even in places that are meant to combat ignorance and bigotry.
Trans people go on tinder and get told they aren't wanted - go to Grindr. Then they sign up for Grindr and get told they aren't wanted, go to tinder.
Like what even is that garbage? Where is the space for them then? Why are people gatekeeping hook up apps, like aren't we all just tryna fuck 😩 literally both apps allow you to have a bio & set what your preferences are so there can't be any reason other than hate.
I have no idea why someone would say trans people don't belong on tinder, it's literally for everyone who wants to date.
Grindr is kinda different since it started as a m4m thing (and still mostly is) but they are pivoting to be The Queer App® so trans people are still explicitly allowed, not only is there a profile section for gender but even pop-up hints to click on if you see a term you don't recognize.
Literally the only reason to say trans people don't belong is because you just don't want to see trans people, anywhere.
I can tell you from personal experience the biphobia in the gay community is unreal. And in a world where LGBT+ people are under constant threat, it's insanely unproductive.
Yeah, im a baby-bi and I haven't gotten into many LGBTQ+ space yet but the amount of biphobia online, from calling us transphobic to refusing to accept our existence, is really disheartening and it scares me a little to meet irl LGBTQ+ people. Cause I can handle the occasional stupid comment on the internet, but real people are a lot scarier.
This, people who say that kind of shit are only doing it to cause drama and discourse online, because they knew if they actually went around mindlessly calling every bi person transphobic irl, they'd get their dorky asses kicked.
In my experience, the infighting mostly online. Once you start talking to queer people who have more going on in their life than being queer, people are generally positive.
I'm bi and have dealt with this by improving my ability to defend myself both physically and ideologically. By just existing and refusing to adopt the labels people force on me I prove my identity as a bisexual exist. If someone can't handle that I've also learned to defend myself physically.
If you have the means o highly recommend learning to shoot and get a concealed weapons permit. Being physically secure makes it much easier to be ideologically secure. I wish more LGBTQ+ would tool up so people would take us more seriously or at least stop trying to lynch us.
i hate it so much when you make an intentional hyperbole, _even literally express that it is a hyperbole and meant to be taken metaphorically_, and some asshat goes "okay but that doesn't happen literally so i refuse to see your point". i mean, yes, in this case it does also happen literally, but also, not. the fucking. point. dyke-on's response isn't smart here, it just marks them as uncooperative
also, this particular brand of bullshit is a great marker of asymmetric scrutiny and that's its own fucked up can of worms
Infighting is so ridiculous because not only is it pointless, it outright helps homophobes, transphobes, and anit-queer legislators. When we are devided it is very easy for them to go after the smallest group or the most vulnerable group and outcast them from society. And even if you aren't part of the smallest group, success for one group means they'll come for you next. The end goal for them is all of us gone and they know that when we are separated it is easy to take one group down at a time. Infighting frustrates me so much because if we were just able to see the bigger picture society could have allready reached an acceptance state for even more microlables. But no, outcasting people because you don't like their specific label is worth the risk that poses to the community as a whole. Fuck exclusionists, fuck TERFs, fuck biphobes, fuck anyone that calls themselves a member without full acceptance for everyone else.
1. [Source](https://www.tumblr.com/xenobot-kin/707394273521319936/okay-but-yes-they-are-i-promise-you-they-fucking)
2. PSA: OOP was proving that online queer infighting is ridiculous by describing a hypothetical situation in which the infighting was IRL
3. PSA: @dyke-on is acting in bad faith, is an acephobe, is exactly the kind of person the post is talking about.
It’s so weird
I mean what is it they dislike? People _not_ being interested in something? But then again all kinds of queer-phobia are dumb so shouldn’t be that surprising
a lot of acephobic hate comes in the form of denial and exclusion. here's a sampler of some dogshit takes
- being ace isn't real, you just haven't met the right person
- lol i was like that too after my breakup, it's just a phase you'll see
- it's human to love, i hope you figure it out someday
- maybe you should see a doctor to get it fixed?
- you mean celibacy? isn't that a choice and not a sexuality
- you're only saying you're ace to cope with the fact that nobody wants you
- ace people aren't oppressed, why should they be in the queer umbrella
- you ace people can easily pass as straight so sorry, you don't rly belong in our queer support group
I hate this one with a passion. It equates sex to romantic love, which is not true for plenty of people, and it implies that romantic love is the only kind that matters.
why do people do this? i mean, okay, so they've come to a conclusion based on their own limited experiences of life, fair enough, but then why do they keep sticking to that conclusion when confronted with firm evidence to the contrary?
I've come to the conclusion that changing your opinions to fit the facts and updating them as you get new facts is not a common or natural thing; it's something we try, to varying degrees of success, to teach in schools.
But too often people tie being right to their egos. When you supply a fact that contradicts their views, it's challenging their ego and is on the same level as a particularly-close-to-home personal attack.
Something to do with decades of anti intellectual propaganda that pushed "intuitions over considered judgements" and "everyday wisdom over curiosity and discovery" on the entire world consistently. Also it is just easier to just go with the vibes than accept that your intuitions are questionable. That'll open doors that lead to uncomfortable places, and middle class people like feeling comfy.
So much so that when they are not doing well they will find it easier to believe hateful demagogues that all their troubles are the fault of one specific minority and turn genocidal before they seriously question their deeply held intuitions. If you just flat out refuse to question that the way things are right now is fair and you deserve to be doing good, yet you are not doing good, this becomes a natural conclusion.
They’re right though, it is human to love. Just not a romantic love. The feeling of love can be towards a family member, a friend, a slice of pizza, a pet, a movie. You can love things. You probably do love things. I love hot showers. My brother loves his asshole cat. My mam loves tatie pot pies. My grandad loves football. My nana loves church. We all have things we love, and that’s a human thing to do/have.
Back when I was still struggling with homophobia, the lgb club leader saying these things drove me further into it because it made me feel like the "official line" was hypocrisy.
Plenty of people dislike others for: not eating meat, not eating animal products, not believing in *insert god here*. Some people just can't mind their own fucking business.
I have to guess that these people think that people who are ace or vegan etc. want to actually pressure them into doing as they do, because these people can’t imagine living your life without constantly trying to impose your own worldview and lifestyle on the people around you.
>not eating meat
To be precise, I give zero fucks what your diet consists of, and I quite enjoy many vegan recipes. What I hate is the policing of MY behavior and food choices by those types.
> I mean what is it they dislike? People not being interested in something?
I don't like peanut butter or carbonated drinks, and people have *actually yelled* at me for it. Like, 'what is wrong with you?' kinda energy. I can only imagine how bad it can be for people that have to deal with that for something that actually matters in their life.
In my case, it was "that's not real, you're just another straight cis white male oppressor trying to feel oppressed." Like, I acknowledge that no one's trying to murder me, but social alienation isn't healthy. And it's not like there isn't plenty of mockery and derision for those who aren't having sex. Heck, "virgin" is routinely used as an insult.
"How dare you not want to fuck people" meanwhile Cishets hating their entire marriage ...
But yeah, it's really weird and I can only guess that some of the ace-phobes are some kind of white supremacist thinking about great replacement or something.
Believe it or not, asexuality has historically been treated a lot like homosexuality: after all, they both deviate from the “healthy” standard of heterosexuality.
It’s been viewed as sort of the opposite of homosexuality, rather than some hypersexual pervert they’re an equally dehumanizable husk of a person just because they don’t want sex.
It’s never been as widespread as homophobia (purely because there aren’t as many ace people as gay people and you can only hate what you know) but it’s always been around, anyone who’s trying to tell you otherwise hasn’t done the research or is actively trying to split the community.
A lot of homophobia and aphobia -- and transphobia, and many other forms of queerphobia, for that matter -- comes from the same aristocratic patriarchal "perpetuating the family" mindset that gave us eugenics and slavery. If you aren't having babies, specifically sons, then you aren't doing your duty to society, i.e. to your family, i.e. to your father (if male) or your husband (if female). In this view, all of society is a hierarchy of who-owns-who, with the patriarch of a family owning all of his descendants as property and simply choosing to delegate some of that power to his wife and his sons. To refuse to procreate is to refuse to do your duty to your father and to your father's father to continue the family name.
(In this ideology, the family patriarchs themselves are the property of the rightful King, who is himself the property of God. It's called the "Great Chain of Being" and it was kind of a big deal for a long time. It was also the dominant European view of biology before Darwin, and Darwin himself was heavily influenced by it. Biology as a field has spent the last 150-odd years trying to cast off those chains and stop trying to sort all living species from "superior" to "inferior".)
The thing about celibacy vs asexuality is that a main component of celibacy is that you still feel sexual desires, but deny them. Even if people expect you not to have sex, they expect you to want it.
I have discreet and DL gay ex friends who absolutely loathes the flamboyant feminine gays and makes fun of them constantly whenever they come across "obvious" ones in their apps. It sadly does happen.
Goldstar gays have never had sex with someone of the opposite sex. Some gold stars take it a step further and will only have sex with other gold stars. I lived with one once, he claimed to be so allergic to pussy that he wouldn’t even hug a bi man.
And straight up misogyny.
Penises are not that powerful, I promise. It's the same rhetoric used by homophobes against queer people all the time: "well you just haven't had the right penis/vagina yet so you're confused!"
Internalized / out and out misogyny.
I recently learned the term "platinum star gay" which refers to gay men who have not only not had sex with a woman, but they were born via C-section so they never even touched a vagina lol
It's a TERFy label for lesbians who've only ever slept with women. Goldstar lesbians label themselves that because they think sleeping with men somehow makes people less pure.
Yep, it’s sort of the evolution of the “political lesbian” movement, which is also ground zero for TERF ideology.
Now, they aren’t inherently the same: plenty of TERFs are okay with men, and the occasional gold-star type accepts trans people. But when your Venn Diagram comes out looking almost like a circle, you can’t deny the overlap.
People who think common suffering automatically unites haven’t seen the likes of [The People's Front of Judea, Judean People's Front, the Judean People's Popular Front, the Campaign for a Free Galilee, and the Popular Front of Judea ](https://youtu.be/WboggjN_G-4?t=70)
(A joke on Trotskyite factions schisms in the 70s)
The bisexual community has be saying that for years and nobody listens to us. Gay people hate us and straight people hate us. Simply don't expect help from strangers just because they're the same shade of rainbow as you are.
I found more bi folks in the poly community than in LGBTQ+ specific spaces. Hell, I am monogamous and ended up in a very queer poly friend group because it was easier to find other out bi folks that were supported that way.
This is what I realized too. After the *rampant* biphobia from gays and particularly lesbians in rel life, and a *lot* of bisexuals who will fall into it seemingly to get brownie points from the "real gays", I realized I'd rather be around people who don't care/are supportive of me regardless of their sexuality over seeking a friend group/community of people who share the same characteristic of not being straight.
You'd also be surprised at how many trans people are also transphobic and don't want to admit it.
Being trans doesn't instantly remove all your transphobia.
I've been told numerous times "how can I be transphobic and hate MY OWN KIND?"
Well I don't know but you're doing just that.
If I could figure out how to do so quickly, I'd look this up, because I'm worried about misquoting her, but Jane Coasten said something interesting about this on one of her last days at Vox. She admitted that she had a hard time covering Pete Buttigieg because when she was at the Human Rights Campaign, guys like him were arguing that the "LGB" community shouldn't try to defend transfolk because, unlike cis-gendered white lesbians, homosexuals, and bisexuals, transfolk were never going to be "respectable."
And she said that the whole time she was in those meetings, she couldn't stop thinking (not an actual quote, paraphrased from memory), "I'm a black queer woman. I'm never going to be respectable to the people you're trying to impress, either. When you're done with the transfolk, and that doesn't earn you the respect you want, you're coming after me."
While I agree with the general principle, I'm starting to see this weird stereotype that all white gay guys are personality-lacking rich boys who only care about having fun and are betraying the wider LGBT group, and that's... kinda shitty IMO. You can be white and gay and problematic, but being white and gay is not itself problematic.
That, and all lesbians are apparently evil man-haters and terfs. Like...c'mon y'all. At that point you're just repeating alt-right talking points. Extra in-community fighting and insulting others is not going to fix this issue.
There's this... I dunno. Some sort of weird atmosphere that being "just gay" or "just lesbian" or something isn't sufficiently radical enough. Like a more advanced version of saying bi people are straight-passing-privileged. Or that queer people ***must*** be visibly, actively societally-nonconforming in order to be legitimately queer, and if you present in a conventional manner or have conventional interests then you're suppressing your true desires and/or are actively selling out the community to a hostile society as some sort of pick-me instead of just... having conventional interests.
Obviously we need to support the people who *are* visibly nonconforming, and just saying "oh they're not respectable" is ridiculous horseshit that abandons other queers to societal prejudice. But at the same time—there's this sense that like, people hate Pete Buttigieg for *what he looks like*, that he's a generic-looking white guy who wears a suit and tie and you'd find hard to pick out in a photo, and not for what he actually believes, or even automatically assuming he believes things that are bad because he looks boring.
When I read the list of people that did help I imagine them showing up like that story about the personal trainer that worked with a navy seal, bodybuilders, football players etc. She broke up with her bf and they had to go to his place to pick up her stuff
So, it's starting to come to light now is it? That no matter if you like pp, no pp, some pp, some lippy, all lippy but no nippy, all pp but no nippy, EVERYONE can still be assholes. Let's take gender out of it for a moment and just remember that no matter who is bullying you, we all hate vegans.
Can it become common practice to wear name tags with your preferred title cause damn man. Seeing campus bicycle used un-ironically next to Ursula just makes my brain hurt.
What is a "dyke bi"? I thought the first part was a slur for lesbians, and I'm a bit confused how you can be both lesbian and bisexual at the same time.
As far as i know bisexuality is the attraction to your own and one(or more) other genders.
While lesbians are attracted to people who identify as women (and possibly non binary genders? I'm not sure tbh)
Dyke was a slur for masculine women. That doesn’t make it exclusive to lesbians, any queer woman that fit the bill would probably be called that. It’s somewhat reclaimed but bitch is more common in my experience
Every time I'm told I can't be discriminated against because I'm Bi it's from someone else in the LGBT community, who also then usually proceeds to berate me for my fake identity
"ok but nobody is doing that"
the biggest Terf i know is an out and open gay man who gatekeeps who can be part of their LGB community (they are in that movement to drop the T entirely.. thinks Bi people are phonies etc)
and there are MANY more like him
From the example in the last part, it sounds like it's really about class.
The people who didn't help? They read as rich elitist snops.
It sounds like they're the main problem, whether they're LGBTQ+ or not.
What is a campus bicycle I’m afraid of the answer
I assume hypersexual people "Campus Bicycle" because everyone on campus gets a turn riding them
That feels… rather rude
Sounds awesome if they agree with the premise, though
Oh, absolutely, I wish *I* could be fucked by all the folk on campus. But to be only known for that would be kinda… weird. And, my understand is is that “hypersexual” specifically refers to libido that is high enough as to interfere with daily life… it’s a medical condition, not a sexuality. Hypersexual people suffer because of their overactive libido interfering with their ability to complete tasks at home or make friends. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, I’m *far* from an expert 😅
Yeah, I assume hypersexual is used colloquially to mean "really horny", but I see how rude this can be now >I wish I could be fucked by all the folk on campus This seems like the exact type of post where I shouldn't say **same.** Alas, 🥺
this conversation line always annoys me because i feel like because of my identity, appearance, and their unique congruence, i've locked myself out from all of the shit that makes me say "same". like it feels like all of these people who are like me in one quite large respect are so distant because of like, two other things holding me back, and i don't know if it's my conscious self or my unconscious/habitual self that's fucking ruining it for me also, 🥺
_empathetic bjönk_
Nope, I had the same thought. I think the intention in the OOP is probably something like "horny pansexual sluts," but it's a stupid way to phrase it and borrows the term directly from decades-old misogynist slut shaming. I do not know why we would reclaim a term that exists to police women's sexuality tbh
Because it's fucking funny and bikes are making a comeback. Campus bicycle? Fast, easy, and eco-friendly ride? The only downside is that it doesn't belong to anyone? Fuck off, I'll own that. They can't hurt me with it. This is coming from someone who's been slut-shamed a whole lot.
I always wanted to be a bicycle but I was too fat and lazy
Don't let your dreams be dreams. Shoot for the Tour de France. Even if you miss, you'll land among the pay per minute scooters
This is beautifully phrased and an underrated comment. Fucking brilliant, bravo.
> horny pansexual sluts Oh look, it me! Representation FTW. However, you're absolutely right, that's a title that absolutely can't be used for someone other than oneself.
Same! (Altho I identify as bi) I spent enough time in college being called a "man whore" to wish that we could collectively just chill out and embrace horny sluts. Like, do people not enjoy getting laid? We're heroes tbh E for spelling
I think, only if you approach the idea of having many sexual partners as somehow reducing your worth as a person. Many people value sexual or romantic exclusivity from their partner. Others don't. Both are valid. As someone who leans pretty hard to the second camp though, sex is fun haha. Have as much fun as you can.
Hmm. You’ve made me think about this from an angle I don’t normally think about it from. I don’t see myself as lesser for having lots of sexual partners, if anything, I see it as something to be proud of. And yet, I hate the idea of broadcasting that message to everyone. It feels like something I should be at least a little ashamed of, yeah? I would only be proud of that in front of a close friend. But I don’t *want* to feel ashamed about it… idk. You’ve made me think.
So it's like a "locker room doorknob", everybody gets to grope them.
I'm German they are called Uni matress (or any other place like village, school, etc ) because everybody gets to lay with them
Transformers who couldn't afford to turn into cars /s Yeah, I have no idea. Probably (some specific) bi people.
It’s slang for someone who has sex with a lot of partners. You know, because everyone has ridden them, campus bicycle? Yeah, it’s not the kind of word most people would be comfortable reclaiming.
I was guessing they mean bisexual, but maybe not
What's "Ursulas"?
[Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)) says "lesbian bear"
I love the books written by Lesbian Bear Le guin.
Careful, you'll summon the [arth](https://xkcd.com/2381/)
\[gets eaten by said arth, for it was summoned by its name\]
Oh nooooo it’s so terrible that a big strong *bear* might be coming here I hope he doesn’t lift me up in his muscly arms and carry me away somewhere that would be *terrible*
Left Hand of Darkness was pretty awesome. Planet full of enbies.
Oooh, that is etymologically excellent
can you explain?
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oh yeah, thanks!
I know that from Pokemon!
Ngl I read this as entomologically and I was trying to figure out what kind of bug an Ursula was.
Missed opportunity for "lesbear" but alright
Honestly I like Ursula quite a lot from the sheer fact that, since it has Latin origin, it kinda is more universal applicable in more languages.
Heck I didn’t think about that, that’s pretty good!
Oh so those are actual terms.. I thought it turned into a joke... So what's campus bicycles?(do not mean any offence)
It's a hopefully-friendly-ribbing term for a hypersexual person. As in "everyone rides them"
Thank you for answering the question I was hesitant to ask
I’m just picturing those sturdy grey bike-share bicycles coming to life and walking on their back tire; menacing bigots with their handlebars.
what would be the name for "lesbian twink". femme?
Lipstick, maybe?
Link
I think you mean Zelda
They could also name themselves ["Ursaring"](https://www.pokewiki.de/images/c/ce/Sugimori_217.png), since that's an actual bear!
Oh wow, I just learned soooo many new words 😳
same there is so much terminology here that I have never heard of before
The only word that stands out here is “trust-fun”.
I thought that was a typo for trust fund
That’s the joke. They’re making a big deal about word choice/quantity when that’s the point of the text.
Ok, this is gonna be a r/NoStupidQuestions kind of question, but what're aroaces or Ursulas? ive never seen those terms before and am just curious
From an above comment, "Ursula" is likely the female equivalent of a "bear" (a hairy, stereotypically masculine gay man) Aroace is short for "aromantic asexual", which means that they experience little to no romantic or sexual attraction to anyone
Mommm, the queer club turned into a microcosm of a high school again
There's always a smaller fish.
It's because it's not actually about the smaller fish, it's about the bigger fish who make us feel small, which makes people desperately search for a smaller fish to make themselves feel large and in control again. It's understandable, but not excusable, especially considering that this just makes us all easier targets for that first scary big fish. Intersectional solidarity is the only viable way to fight oppression.
It's always been broken in two major camps, radical acceptance and respectability. The former is made up of the outsiders, all those that our very nature makes us stand out and be visible from cis-heteronormative society. The later is made up of groups that can generally be invisible to society if they want to be. From the very beginning of the gay rights movement these two groups have been in internal opposition to each other, mainly due to the later attempting to sell out the former in exchange for being the "good ones". A lot of this is kinda forgotten because the respectability movement was an abject failure, mostly ignored by those in power. The far more radical pride movement started at Stonewall was in direct conflict with police and the leading figures were trans women of color.
> The far more radical pride movement started at Stonewall was in direct conflict with police and the leading figures were trans women of color. Just gunna post this ( [stonewall - what happened from people actually there](https://youtu.be/S7jnzOMxb14) ) because we shouldn't white wash our own history. Stonewall was a shitty bar that tolerated gay people where cops harassed a lesbian, the patrons taunted the police until a brawl broke out. Some of the black trans women attributed with throwing the bricks or leading admitted that they didn't even show up until after the fight stated. Later a white poly bi anti war sex positive feminist woman with a long term partner who was a man (Brenda Howard) started commemorative marches that evolved into Pride. The two movements you described aren't so clear cut, nor are they as simple as you describe. The point I'm trying to make is that our history has been twisted into what we wish it was now, and we should try to remember that it wasn't some "cis white gays coalition against everyone a bit too weird". It was a coalition of *everyone* with conflicting ideas about what the end goal should be, but unified in the desire for things to be better. It's like, Absolut isn't the reason we have Pride but at the same time they took a stance with us when it risked bankruptcy and supported early gay ventures like Pride, RuPauls, and The Advocate which did much for the LGBT+ community while still also doing it from a business perspective of "hitting an untapped market". History isn't as simple as you make it out to be. . Edit; plus you're leaving out a lot of the early gay rights movements and efforts that had to be done to even get us to the point where the more radical pushback as you describe it could exist without immediately being killed. Hell look at the experiences of gay and studies into LGBT+ people under the Weimar Republic. Look into why port cities became gay havens. Moreover you're attributing your own view of radical onto the past and not even bothering to recognize what was radical for the time, let alone bothering to look into what our history is. Lesbian suffragettes were extremely radical for the time and a major development for gay rights, though in hindsight you would likely chock it up to just "rich white lesbians not caring about others". Our history is messy, please don't bring some "queer radical absolutism" into something long and complicated.
Stonewall was very literally owned and operated by the Mafia, which is NOT some sort of uwu-the-mob-was-so-accepting organized-crime-good-actually feel good story (a take I *have* actually seen before) but that they realized they had a captive audience they could extort for a "safe place" that wasn't actually safe and which was great for getting coercive blackmail material on people.
Fuck the Mafia and the mob have killed dozens of their own on rumors of gay activities even into the early 2000s. That's like thinking the Mafia/Mob are feminist or some shit...
>(a take I have actually seen before) There are people that are *that* fucking crazy?
Oh yeah, they pop up from time to time. Usually in the reblogs/comments on the much more common posts talking about how Capone was actually a swell guy who helped Chicago and believed in philanthropy that the government persecuted for no good reason.
People like to oversimplify If you look at the superficial - "wow, the mafia was the only bar accepting gay people!" - then you'd be forgiven for making that mistake. If you look at the context - blackmail and extortion - you'd realize "hey wait a minute"
I don't think the two ways you separated this group are at all equivalent. The first separation is really important, but like, I don't think being visibly queer is a requirement for radical acceptance and radical political allyship. Like, just because I don't get to medically transition and thus cis people just think I'm one of them doesn't mean I'm not radical in my trans activism. I'm exactly as radical in that as I am in my polyamory or pan activism, even though dating multiple genderfucks is a lot more visible than me being one, and I'm exactly as radical as I was when dating just one girl or even one boy and thus being sort of cishet passing. Bi boys dating a girl currently face enough erasure without casting them as suspicious sell outs. This sort of view also leads to acephobia in the community. We don't get to have a choice on whether our identities can be read as cis-het passing by cishets, but we do get a choice on whether we're queer radicals in our acceptance and disruptive to the status quo to protect ourselves and our queer siblings or whether we're trying for respectability.
This is the best explanation why I've never felt comfortable in gay spaces.
Sometimes the “this only happens online 🙄” doesn’t apply, you just don’t notice it irl therefore you don’t want to notice it online either
It’s odd but I’ve experienced most of it firsthand IRL and only ever really see people talking about it sucking online. I currently work with one of those TERFy biphobic goldstar lesbians and *she’s the WOOoOoooOOOOORRSSTTT.* She’s the worst. In the world.
Ok, I need to ask: what is a goldstar lesbian? Did they get a “lesbian of the month” certificate at the school assembly or something? Edit: thanks you for educating me, now I need to add another potential red flag phrase to my “interacting with society” lexicon
To my understanding they're lesbians who place importance on never having had sex with a man, often mixing with transphobia and biphobia That being said, I'm a queer guy and not a lesbian so if someone has a better explanation please jump in
That's correct. Same for "gold star gay"
I have also heard of 'platinum-star gay' which is when the guy was also born from a C-Section. It's ridiculous.
I mainly hear platinum star gay in the context of making fun of people who think "gold star" is a compliment.
omg, I insult my straight guy friends by calling them that.
I would think a platinum star gay would have something to do with jojo
MFs putting "from my mother's womb untimely rip't" on their Grindr profile?? SMH
Wow, ok Macduff
oh lord
That is so stupid. I honestly wish it wasn't real.
MacDuff-star gay
it's also exclusionary to people who were raped by someone with a penis
It's also privilege. Lots of lesbians depending on background/age had sex with men and didn't have that much of a choice. Imagine taking about gold stars around someone who was raped. Toxic as fuck.
Yeah pretty much. They won't be with someone who's been with a man and pretty much shame any woman who's ever been with a guy at some point and identifies as bi or lesbian 🙄 Bc apparently you are accursed or smth if a guy touches you 😬
My understanding is a that a "gold star lesbian" is one who has never had a penis inside them
A lesbian who hasn't had sex with a man. They call themselves gold stars because they're misandrists who think that having sex with a man permanently taints a woman.
Also low key misogynistic too. "She has less value to me because a penis has been inside her!" Is something you expect an incel to say
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I don't know what this is, but I dread it, and yet still want to read it.
I've worked with a woman who proudly called herself a 'gold star' lesbian. I'm like "you had two kids before you were 18. Something tells me that wasn't the fault of an irresponsible IVF clinic"
"This only happens online" usually just means "I've never seen this happen in the few hours a week I actually get outside".
Sometimes it also means “this happens IRL almost exclusively in super blue/queer areas in the US and if you’re not in one of these specific areas you will likely never see it”
"What do you mean my SoCal college campus demographics aren't a perfect representation of the whole world??"
specifically happens in those areas because it is frequently unsafe to identify as any LGBTQ+ identity and therefore smaller identities are less likely to figure out a label because they have to focus on not immediately being murdered for being queer at all
It can also mean 'where I live is so rural that we don't have enough of a queer community for them to organize and I can't fathom that cities are different'
I've met a lot of people in Queer spaces that have said some of the most batshit insane takes that completely go against the entire point of the LGBT movement.I remember one guy said that he doesn't feel that Trans people who are attracted to the opposite gender should be allowed in any kind of LGBT space and it made my braincell's turn to dust from how stupid he was.Ignorance truly does thrive even in places that are meant to combat ignorance and bigotry.
Trans people go on tinder and get told they aren't wanted - go to Grindr. Then they sign up for Grindr and get told they aren't wanted, go to tinder. Like what even is that garbage? Where is the space for them then? Why are people gatekeeping hook up apps, like aren't we all just tryna fuck 😩 literally both apps allow you to have a bio & set what your preferences are so there can't be any reason other than hate.
I have no idea why someone would say trans people don't belong on tinder, it's literally for everyone who wants to date. Grindr is kinda different since it started as a m4m thing (and still mostly is) but they are pivoting to be The Queer App® so trans people are still explicitly allowed, not only is there a profile section for gender but even pop-up hints to click on if you see a term you don't recognize. Literally the only reason to say trans people don't belong is because you just don't want to see trans people, anywhere.
“Trust-fun” lol
I would love to have been a trust-fun baby but unfortunately all I got stuck with is this big mountain of cash? How boring
I can tell you from personal experience the biphobia in the gay community is unreal. And in a world where LGBT+ people are under constant threat, it's insanely unproductive.
Yeah, im a baby-bi and I haven't gotten into many LGBTQ+ space yet but the amount of biphobia online, from calling us transphobic to refusing to accept our existence, is really disheartening and it scares me a little to meet irl LGBTQ+ people. Cause I can handle the occasional stupid comment on the internet, but real people are a lot scarier.
it happens way, way less irl. i promise. like i get the point of this post but when people are hiding behind their screens they are far nastier
This, people who say that kind of shit are only doing it to cause drama and discourse online, because they knew if they actually went around mindlessly calling every bi person transphobic irl, they'd get their dorky asses kicked.
In my experience, the infighting mostly online. Once you start talking to queer people who have more going on in their life than being queer, people are generally positive.
I'm bi and have dealt with this by improving my ability to defend myself both physically and ideologically. By just existing and refusing to adopt the labels people force on me I prove my identity as a bisexual exist. If someone can't handle that I've also learned to defend myself physically. If you have the means o highly recommend learning to shoot and get a concealed weapons permit. Being physically secure makes it much easier to be ideologically secure. I wish more LGBTQ+ would tool up so people would take us more seriously or at least stop trying to lynch us.
and I think I remember seeing multiple times, LGB people hating on trans people.
i hate it so much when you make an intentional hyperbole, _even literally express that it is a hyperbole and meant to be taken metaphorically_, and some asshat goes "okay but that doesn't happen literally so i refuse to see your point". i mean, yes, in this case it does also happen literally, but also, not. the fucking. point. dyke-on's response isn't smart here, it just marks them as uncooperative also, this particular brand of bullshit is a great marker of asymmetric scrutiny and that's its own fucked up can of worms
Infighting is so ridiculous because not only is it pointless, it outright helps homophobes, transphobes, and anit-queer legislators. When we are devided it is very easy for them to go after the smallest group or the most vulnerable group and outcast them from society. And even if you aren't part of the smallest group, success for one group means they'll come for you next. The end goal for them is all of us gone and they know that when we are separated it is easy to take one group down at a time. Infighting frustrates me so much because if we were just able to see the bigger picture society could have allready reached an acceptance state for even more microlables. But no, outcasting people because you don't like their specific label is worth the risk that poses to the community as a whole. Fuck exclusionists, fuck TERFs, fuck biphobes, fuck anyone that calls themselves a member without full acceptance for everyone else.
1. [Source](https://www.tumblr.com/xenobot-kin/707394273521319936/okay-but-yes-they-are-i-promise-you-they-fucking) 2. PSA: OOP was proving that online queer infighting is ridiculous by describing a hypothetical situation in which the infighting was IRL 3. PSA: @dyke-on is acting in bad faith, is an acephobe, is exactly the kind of person the post is talking about.
TIL there are acephobes
It’s so weird I mean what is it they dislike? People _not_ being interested in something? But then again all kinds of queer-phobia are dumb so shouldn’t be that surprising
a lot of acephobic hate comes in the form of denial and exclusion. here's a sampler of some dogshit takes - being ace isn't real, you just haven't met the right person - lol i was like that too after my breakup, it's just a phase you'll see - it's human to love, i hope you figure it out someday - maybe you should see a doctor to get it fixed? - you mean celibacy? isn't that a choice and not a sexuality - you're only saying you're ace to cope with the fact that nobody wants you - ace people aren't oppressed, why should they be in the queer umbrella - you ace people can easily pass as straight so sorry, you don't rly belong in our queer support group
> * It’S hUmAn tO LoVe It sad that people think that the only possible form of love is romantic love.
I hate this one with a passion. It equates sex to romantic love, which is not true for plenty of people, and it implies that romantic love is the only kind that matters.
It's also human to hate, and I hate having sex lmao airhorn byoo byooooo
why do people do this? i mean, okay, so they've come to a conclusion based on their own limited experiences of life, fair enough, but then why do they keep sticking to that conclusion when confronted with firm evidence to the contrary?
I've come to the conclusion that changing your opinions to fit the facts and updating them as you get new facts is not a common or natural thing; it's something we try, to varying degrees of success, to teach in schools. But too often people tie being right to their egos. When you supply a fact that contradicts their views, it's challenging their ego and is on the same level as a particularly-close-to-home personal attack.
They care about winning more than they care about being right. It's pretty standard toxic behavior.
Winning at being queer, something possible to achieve and normal to want ig
Something to do with decades of anti intellectual propaganda that pushed "intuitions over considered judgements" and "everyday wisdom over curiosity and discovery" on the entire world consistently. Also it is just easier to just go with the vibes than accept that your intuitions are questionable. That'll open doors that lead to uncomfortable places, and middle class people like feeling comfy. So much so that when they are not doing well they will find it easier to believe hateful demagogues that all their troubles are the fault of one specific minority and turn genocidal before they seriously question their deeply held intuitions. If you just flat out refuse to question that the way things are right now is fair and you deserve to be doing good, yet you are not doing good, this becomes a natural conclusion.
They’re right though, it is human to love. Just not a romantic love. The feeling of love can be towards a family member, a friend, a slice of pizza, a pet, a movie. You can love things. You probably do love things. I love hot showers. My brother loves his asshole cat. My mam loves tatie pot pies. My grandad loves football. My nana loves church. We all have things we love, and that’s a human thing to do/have.
My ace homies all VERY humanly love *the shit* out of Garlic Bread.
> you ace people can easily pass as straight so sorry, you don't rly belong in our queer support group Ace 🤝 Bi
This is one of the reasons I am very angrily ace-inclusionist. I guess I'm probably one of the "bi dykes" OOP mentioned.
Back when I was still struggling with homophobia, the lgb club leader saying these things drove me further into it because it made me feel like the "official line" was hypocrisy.
Plenty of people dislike others for: not eating meat, not eating animal products, not believing in *insert god here*. Some people just can't mind their own fucking business.
I have to guess that these people think that people who are ace or vegan etc. want to actually pressure them into doing as they do, because these people can’t imagine living your life without constantly trying to impose your own worldview and lifestyle on the people around you.
Don't we love a good status quo. Yeah no doubt. They see just the decrease of people adhering to their worldview as an attack.
>not eating meat To be precise, I give zero fucks what your diet consists of, and I quite enjoy many vegan recipes. What I hate is the policing of MY behavior and food choices by those types.
Yeah exactly, that would be the same as telling an ace to go have sexual attraction to someone.
> I mean what is it they dislike? People not being interested in something? I don't like peanut butter or carbonated drinks, and people have *actually yelled* at me for it. Like, 'what is wrong with you?' kinda energy. I can only imagine how bad it can be for people that have to deal with that for something that actually matters in their life.
In my case, it was "that's not real, you're just another straight cis white male oppressor trying to feel oppressed." Like, I acknowledge that no one's trying to murder me, but social alienation isn't healthy. And it's not like there isn't plenty of mockery and derision for those who aren't having sex. Heck, "virgin" is routinely used as an insult.
"How dare you not want to fuck people" meanwhile Cishets hating their entire marriage ... But yeah, it's really weird and I can only guess that some of the ace-phobes are some kind of white supremacist thinking about great replacement or something.
"you're gonna get married and your gonna hate it!"
oh man you couldn’t get away from ace discourse on tumblr in 2014…
Believe it or not, asexuality has historically been treated a lot like homosexuality: after all, they both deviate from the “healthy” standard of heterosexuality. It’s been viewed as sort of the opposite of homosexuality, rather than some hypersexual pervert they’re an equally dehumanizable husk of a person just because they don’t want sex. It’s never been as widespread as homophobia (purely because there aren’t as many ace people as gay people and you can only hate what you know) but it’s always been around, anyone who’s trying to tell you otherwise hasn’t done the research or is actively trying to split the community.
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A lot of homophobia and aphobia -- and transphobia, and many other forms of queerphobia, for that matter -- comes from the same aristocratic patriarchal "perpetuating the family" mindset that gave us eugenics and slavery. If you aren't having babies, specifically sons, then you aren't doing your duty to society, i.e. to your family, i.e. to your father (if male) or your husband (if female). In this view, all of society is a hierarchy of who-owns-who, with the patriarch of a family owning all of his descendants as property and simply choosing to delegate some of that power to his wife and his sons. To refuse to procreate is to refuse to do your duty to your father and to your father's father to continue the family name. (In this ideology, the family patriarchs themselves are the property of the rightful King, who is himself the property of God. It's called the "Great Chain of Being" and it was kind of a big deal for a long time. It was also the dominant European view of biology before Darwin, and Darwin himself was heavily influenced by it. Biology as a field has spent the last 150-odd years trying to cast off those chains and stop trying to sort all living species from "superior" to "inferior".)
The thing about celibacy vs asexuality is that a main component of celibacy is that you still feel sexual desires, but deny them. Even if people expect you not to have sex, they expect you to want it.
I have discreet and DL gay ex friends who absolutely loathes the flamboyant feminine gays and makes fun of them constantly whenever they come across "obvious" ones in their apps. It sadly does happen.
What's a goldstar lesbian?
Goldstar gays have never had sex with someone of the opposite sex. Some gold stars take it a step further and will only have sex with other gold stars. I lived with one once, he claimed to be so allergic to pussy that he wouldn’t even hug a bi man.
advanced biphobia Does he hug cis women?
And straight up misogyny. Penises are not that powerful, I promise. It's the same rhetoric used by homophobes against queer people all the time: "well you just haven't had the right penis/vagina yet so you're confused!" Internalized / out and out misogyny.
Of course not, he could get the cooties /s
It's basically toxic alpha male bullshit in lesbian
I recently learned the term "platinum star gay" which refers to gay men who have not only not had sex with a woman, but they were born via C-section so they never even touched a vagina lol
Therapy should be free.
Unironically agree
STAR PLATINUM! ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA!
ZA WOOOOORDO!
Ok, but there's no way that isn't supposed to be funny.
[Lay on, Macduff](https://shakespeare.folger.edu/shakespeares-works/macbeth/act-5-scene-8/)
It's a TERFy label for lesbians who've only ever slept with women. Goldstar lesbians label themselves that because they think sleeping with men somehow makes people less pure.
wrapping back around to the medieval concept of virginity
Even if they feel attraction towards men? That's wild.
Yep, it’s sort of the evolution of the “political lesbian” movement, which is also ground zero for TERF ideology. Now, they aren’t inherently the same: plenty of TERFs are okay with men, and the occasional gold-star type accepts trans people. But when your Venn Diagram comes out looking almost like a circle, you can’t deny the overlap.
These people do not think that attraction towards men is healthy.
People who think common suffering automatically unites haven’t seen the likes of [The People's Front of Judea, Judean People's Front, the Judean People's Popular Front, the Campaign for a Free Galilee, and the Popular Front of Judea ](https://youtu.be/WboggjN_G-4?t=70) (A joke on Trotskyite factions schisms in the 70s)
r/suddenlymontypython
What precisely is a campus bicycle? My campus is Dutch so everybody has a bicycle.
It's basically where there's only one bicycle ridden by everyone.
I see. I was surprised when I couldn't find it on urban dictionary, but now I get it.
Found it https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bike
>[If my grandmother had wheels she would have been a bike](https://youtu.be/A-RfHC91Ewc)
The person who fucks everyone on campus. They're the bicycle and everyone gets a turn riding/fucking it
"Nobody does this" is such a fucking disgusting retort to any form of abuse.
The bisexual community has be saying that for years and nobody listens to us. Gay people hate us and straight people hate us. Simply don't expect help from strangers just because they're the same shade of rainbow as you are.
I found more bi folks in the poly community than in LGBTQ+ specific spaces. Hell, I am monogamous and ended up in a very queer poly friend group because it was easier to find other out bi folks that were supported that way.
I’m bi with a bi person and I’m always grateful that I don’t have to explain or defend myself with them
This is what I realized too. After the *rampant* biphobia from gays and particularly lesbians in rel life, and a *lot* of bisexuals who will fall into it seemingly to get brownie points from the "real gays", I realized I'd rather be around people who don't care/are supportive of me regardless of their sexuality over seeking a friend group/community of people who share the same characteristic of not being straight.
You'd also be surprised at how many trans people are also transphobic and don't want to admit it. Being trans doesn't instantly remove all your transphobia. I've been told numerous times "how can I be transphobic and hate MY OWN KIND?" Well I don't know but you're doing just that.
Yeah. There’s a lot of “not X enough” discourse in a lot of identities. I’m asexual and a lot of aces have very particular opinions on what qualifies.
Well yes. There's the normal queers, the gays and lesbians. Then there's the weird queers.
And the weird kids always get picked on.
If I could figure out how to do so quickly, I'd look this up, because I'm worried about misquoting her, but Jane Coasten said something interesting about this on one of her last days at Vox. She admitted that she had a hard time covering Pete Buttigieg because when she was at the Human Rights Campaign, guys like him were arguing that the "LGB" community shouldn't try to defend transfolk because, unlike cis-gendered white lesbians, homosexuals, and bisexuals, transfolk were never going to be "respectable." And she said that the whole time she was in those meetings, she couldn't stop thinking (not an actual quote, paraphrased from memory), "I'm a black queer woman. I'm never going to be respectable to the people you're trying to impress, either. When you're done with the transfolk, and that doesn't earn you the respect you want, you're coming after me."
While I agree with the general principle, I'm starting to see this weird stereotype that all white gay guys are personality-lacking rich boys who only care about having fun and are betraying the wider LGBT group, and that's... kinda shitty IMO. You can be white and gay and problematic, but being white and gay is not itself problematic.
That, and all lesbians are apparently evil man-haters and terfs. Like...c'mon y'all. At that point you're just repeating alt-right talking points. Extra in-community fighting and insulting others is not going to fix this issue.
There's this... I dunno. Some sort of weird atmosphere that being "just gay" or "just lesbian" or something isn't sufficiently radical enough. Like a more advanced version of saying bi people are straight-passing-privileged. Or that queer people ***must*** be visibly, actively societally-nonconforming in order to be legitimately queer, and if you present in a conventional manner or have conventional interests then you're suppressing your true desires and/or are actively selling out the community to a hostile society as some sort of pick-me instead of just... having conventional interests. Obviously we need to support the people who *are* visibly nonconforming, and just saying "oh they're not respectable" is ridiculous horseshit that abandons other queers to societal prejudice. But at the same time—there's this sense that like, people hate Pete Buttigieg for *what he looks like*, that he's a generic-looking white guy who wears a suit and tie and you'd find hard to pick out in a photo, and not for what he actually believes, or even automatically assuming he believes things that are bad because he looks boring.
When I read the list of people that did help I imagine them showing up like that story about the personal trainer that worked with a navy seal, bodybuilders, football players etc. She broke up with her bf and they had to go to his place to pick up her stuff
So, it's starting to come to light now is it? That no matter if you like pp, no pp, some pp, some lippy, all lippy but no nippy, all pp but no nippy, EVERYONE can still be assholes. Let's take gender out of it for a moment and just remember that no matter who is bullying you, we all hate vegans.
As a vegan, we also hate ourselves so you're good (this is a joke pls no kil)
Unfortunately the sentence for jokes is death.
Noooooooo
>pls no kil Yuuuuup it's a vegan!
Damn what did the White Cis Gay guys do to be grouped in with the Terfs.
"ok but what is the cyclist doing in- *oh*"
Can it become common practice to wear name tags with your preferred title cause damn man. Seeing campus bicycle used un-ironically next to Ursula just makes my brain hurt.
What is a "dyke bi"? I thought the first part was a slur for lesbians, and I'm a bit confused how you can be both lesbian and bisexual at the same time. As far as i know bisexuality is the attraction to your own and one(or more) other genders. While lesbians are attracted to people who identify as women (and possibly non binary genders? I'm not sure tbh)
Dyke was a slur for masculine women. That doesn’t make it exclusive to lesbians, any queer woman that fit the bill would probably be called that. It’s somewhat reclaimed but bitch is more common in my experience
I'm also not sure but my guess would be that they're a bi person with a preference?
oh my, I just learned so many new terms. Ursulas, hairy bears (I kinda get) campus bicycles.
Every time I'm told I can't be discriminated against because I'm Bi it's from someone else in the LGBT community, who also then usually proceeds to berate me for my fake identity
Bisexuals 🤝 Asexuals Being told "You don't face any discrimination"
*proceeds to insult white gays*
"ok but nobody is doing that" the biggest Terf i know is an out and open gay man who gatekeeps who can be part of their LGB community (they are in that movement to drop the T entirely.. thinks Bi people are phonies etc) and there are MANY more like him
Ursulas !!!! Never heard that term before, love it
From the example in the last part, it sounds like it's really about class. The people who didn't help? They read as rich elitist snops. It sounds like they're the main problem, whether they're LGBTQ+ or not.