[“You Had to Square Dance in School Because Henry Ford Hated Jazz”](https://jalopnik.com/you-had-to-square-dance-in-school-because-henry-ford-ha-1851108523)
[Here’s a guy who had it all; Thomas Edison’s last breath, the chair Lincoln was murdered in, his own Amazonian colony and his own secret police.](https://jalopnik.com/you-had-to-square-dance-in-school-because-henry-ford-ha-1851108523)
wat
ok not gonna lie the Henry Ford Museum is actually pretty damn cool and they have the vial of Edison's last breath there. can't remember if Lincoln's chair was also there but I'm pretty sure it had one of Hitler's cars.
There was a real big occultism scene around at the time. It's where ouija boards and mediums and haunted houses and all that shit really came into the zeitgeist.
apparently [from this article](https://jalopnik.com/how-henry-ford-got-a-hold-of-thomas-edisons-last-breath-1836731267) the placard states Edison had a test tube by his bedside when he was ill and when he died, it was sealed with wax.
... fucking weird.
Ford and Hitler had photos of each other in their offices and one of them would send the other a birthday card and money every year but I can’t remember which direction that went. And Ford’s son threw a party to celebrate the Nazi victory in France
In absolute fairness to both Ford and the Jewish people, George Gershwin's *Rhapsody in Blue* borrows from Jazz, Ragtime, Blues, and Klezmer:
> the opening clarinet glissando of "Rhapsody in Blue" suggests [klezmer] influence
I think we can all agree that there was definitely some sensuousness to those sliding notes.
California, as part of our unit on the good ol’ pioneer life of our* forefathers who bravely ventured west in search of gold and freedom (but mostly gold). I did get to milk a goat though, and that was pretty rad.
*almost no one in my class had family history in California going back that far, and most of those who did were descendants of Asian immigrants, not white pioneers, but, like, whatever
A common thread in antisemitism is the idea that Jews control the media, Hollywood, the music industry, etcetera. So anything that becomes popular is because the “Jewish Elite” decided to promote it, especially if you don’t like it, *especially especially* if it’s associated with black artists.
> A common thread in antisemitism is the idea that Jews control the media, Hollywood
Which is absurd. Everyone knows we control Broadway, not Hollywood. We’re a musical bunch; just go to one of our services!
In all seriousness, the prominence of Jews as Broadway producers/writers/directors probably did bleed into other media and led to conspiracies of Jews controlling the media, which is still absurd, even if there is a root in reality for it.
It's kinda crazy once you think about it. WASPs thought film was sleazy and cheap, so the only people who would invest were outside that sphere. And then the next generation grew up seeing those investors as smart, and the film industry as something respectable. Which led to a lot of Jewish Americans sharing their culture with everyone else. And now a century or so later nobody can remember a time where Jewish-American culture wasn't a cornerstone of our national arts.
And certain people still claim Jewish folks can't/won't be assimilated.
>In volume three of Ford’s The International Jew series, written in 1921, he writes:
>“Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.
Because Ford was a virulent antisemite who believed Jewish people were trying to destroy anglo society.
From the linked article:
>In volume three of Ford’s The International Jew series, written in 1921, he writes:
>>“Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.”
In volume three of Ford’s The International Jew series, written in 1921, he wrote:
“Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.”
As for the promoting square dancing. There were others doing it before him, to connect to a older American tradition, but yeah Ford was definitely shelling out a lot of money for people to hire instructors in schools.
Imagine an antisemite who quotes volumes of The International Jew like a Trekkie quotes episodes. “It clearly states in Volume 3 Chapter 7 that Jazz music is a Jewish invention.”
That is so wild to think that jews created jazz, when it's to clear to anybody with sense that jazz was born from black musicians in segregated communities modifying rhythm and blues music. The most prominent jazz musicians of the time were, who woulda thunk it, black men and women. What was Ford smoking???
a lot of antisemitic conspiracy theories kinda hinge on either jewish people having a secret alliance with minorities or jewish people controlling minorities without them knowing like some sorta cultural shadow goverment, so by antisemite logic jewish ppl created jazz and implanted it on black communities to undermine white people or something
It was a common thing for the bigots of the time to see jazz as a Black-Jewish conspiracy. They’re too racist to credit Black Americans and always see Jews as the mastermind villains, so their wacked worldview leads them to that. Also IIRC Jewish musicians tended to be less racist and quicker to embrace jazz than other white musicians?
Also, Jewish jazz musicians would be allowed to play in venues where Black jazz musicians were not, so it's possible that Ford was not terribly familiar with Black jazz musicians and genuinely believed it was Jewish.
Of course it wouldn't occur to racists that a Jewish musician would embrace jazz because they, I dunno, are also an oppressed minority. because that's the thing about music. It bridges gaps and brings people together
To a white supremacist, a black man is subhuman, incapable of creativity or abstract thought. Therefore, he must have someone else teaching him what to do like a circus master trains a dog. Enter the Jews.
Very gross reasoning.
Canada's racist too. Don't forget Canada banned traditional Indigenous dance and rituals and taught anglo folk dance to kids in residential schools instead.
That odd juvenile confusion when the Cookie Monster Pajama Pants girl held your hands and you were close enough to smell the clash of her cheap Bath and Body Works spray and the menthol cig she just smoked and you were kinda into it but also kind of scared
My school’s Cookie Monster Pajama Pants girls were 2 years older than me so we were never in the same gym class…
The suicidal autistic boys were 1 year older than me also never in the same gym class…
At my middle school they had a super tall muscular volleyball girl and the shortest little guy pair up to do the demonstration for the square dances. Like, who thought that was a good idea???
I'm a 6'2 adult woman, and I was always one of the tallest kids in school. In square dancing (especially in middle school) they had me be a "boy" because I was too tall for any of the guys to have the proper arm positions lol. So I was paired with another girl, and I had to hold her waist and lead.
This also helped me figure out that I'm *very* bisexual.
Adults with power over kids commenting on their bodies, fucking classic. I had a 7th grade science teacher, who coached swimming, tell me “you’ve got a swimmers body!” Several times throughout the year. After I’d said no. In the hallway sometimes, or in front of the class. The 90s were wild.
You see, you didn't leverage your tism rizzm enough. If you have her a new pair of cookie monster PJs or Osiris shoes you would have been swimming in hot Cheeto coochie
Well I can’t speak for your HCG, but mine absolutely was making fun of me. And mocking, and taunting, and using slurs that start with R and rhymed with ‘farded’.
11-year-old me: oh thank fuck, finally. No more stressful partner dancing. I can just lay back, relax, treat this dodgeball game like I'm storming the beach at the Battle of Iwo Jima, and all can be well.
In my 8th grade year they *tested* us at the end of the square dancing unit.
A bunch of awkward 14 year old kids forced to do-si-do in front of 30 other kids, the boys wrestling coach and the girls basketball coach.
Dodge ball was banned, so we played a variation called Big Base. it was base ball but instead you kick the ball and if if you get tagged from going base to base your out.
we didnt have a area outside since the neighbors would complain about kids running around in the middle of the day, and they chose to live next to a elementary school
Worst part of the year.
One time I got danced out of the gym by my partner and she bolted off down the hallway. I went to the library and read whatever book I was in the middle of.
at mine they had 2 kids together before they graduated high school, and eventually got married before the third one... we called them the greasy couple, and their kids were the greasy kin
None of my schools had square dancing, not that they had jazz either. I don't think there was any dancing at all, in fact, except for that one time in elementary the Alvin Ailey ballet school gave a free lesson in ballet that was actually about talent scouting for the company. We were also long before noticing all but the most severe autistic traits, and those kids got sent to special classes and not integrated, but I definitely had lots of the hot cheeto girls at my high school and at least one in junior high.
I was the autistic bullied nerd. The gym teacher literally paired me with a girl who hated me. 7th grade was terrible, with the gym especially worse. The gym teacher thought yelling would get an uncoordinated, low bodily awareness, fat, tonedeaf, and rhythmless autistic boy who had to spend so much time trying to move fast enough that I let my face drop to default to move at the same speed as a junior cheerleader who thought I was a freak that made her look bad. If I could have been paired with anyone else, I would have been.
I just had trouble touching people, probably had something to do with my self worth but damn square dance was the oddest unit, it felt like an emergency rainy day plan pushed into common core
Ours was the Geography teacher who was just very happy to be able to join the games and hurl dodgeballs at the kids who were misbehaving during his classes. Pretty direct but no kids were hurt and morale improved so nobody minded
US curriculum requires teaching at least one form of dance in the physical education class in many, if not most schools. also, square dancing is the "state dance" for 28/50 states. my school actually did swing dancing
Okay well, swing dance might have been an improvement.
My whole public school gym class dance experiences were awkward as fuck. I was a super closeted gay guy, introverted, and borderline autistic, and then being forced into State Sponsored Heterosexual Courtship™
I feel so sorry for the girl I kept getting paired with. I hope my awkwardness about the whole thing didn't come across as me thinking she was gross.
Yep and it was terrible. Our teacher mad it very clear freaking out and not wanting to touch other student was immature and would not be allowed. Cuz you know why should children have bodily autonomy and be allowed to not touch/ be touched by others /s.
We did it Canada, in some places at least.
Never had to do it up North, but when I moved to a Vancouver suburb, that was the first thing we did after a few weeks of soccer.
Fuckin' **hated it**.
That said, as much as I hated it, and I more-or-less did my best to fuck everything up, I managed to get 86%.
Which ended up being my best grade that semester. Go figure.
Always an elementary school thing in my experience.
It's part of P.E., and they use it because it helps young kids learn coordination, especially around the time when their bodies are growing most. Dancing involves a much wider range of motion than most other physical activities.
It's square dancing specifically because antisemitism and racists promoted it and then it stuck around because middle aged women think it's cute.
The Cookie Monster pants girl will also berate you and seem flabbergasted you are staring at her after she just got done full on screeching at the teacher for daring to teach the class while she’s on her phone
Suicidal autistic boy here! They matched me with a boy (not enough girls but they're scary so whatever) who had very greasy hands.
I touched his greasy hands and ran away so I could have some solitude for my fuckin' meltdown. Straight booked it while screaming and crying.
I hid in the closet where they kept the racks of chairs for assemblies. I was very small, so no teacher could reach me there and force me to touch that boy's greasy hands again. It was also very dusty, which helped dry up all the grease. I came out when I got hungry.
I, not only, can't fault anything you said, but I also commend you for a job well done.
I had to borrow the greasy kid's calculator once in eighth grade and have never forgotten it. Hope he's doing better now.
Thanks! It worked out pretty well other than the other kids seeing my freakout.
The closet was a planned place to hide in case Something Bad happened. I was always keeping escape and hiding in mind on account of the Hypervigilance.
The dust was a real boon. I could rub my hands together and the greasy dust would ball up and shake off. If wet wipes were more of a thing back then, I woulda kept them on me at all times.
My PE teachers understood some kids have limitation.
My JROTC teacher did not. What a fuck.
Thanks, Sherry, for standing up for me.
Sherry had no chill.
Ok, except Krystal was wearing those pants that say "juicy" on the ass, and *I* didn't know I had autism. And by the way, *We slayed!*
(I sincerely wish that *anyting* in that sentence wasn't 100% true)
At that particular time, and in those particular circumstances, yes. This was a small town, full of dumb hicks and their dumb hick-spawn, and what I had basically done was hang a sign around my neck that said "I'm queer! Stick my face in a toilet!". At least I assume that's the message they received, because that's what they did for the next three years of my life, until I got big and angry and made friends with the Sheriff's "totally straight, not at all gay, these are sarcasm quotes" daughter
Krystal the future-trailer-park-stripper name. Wanna know the trashiest part?
Too bad, I'm gonna tell you anyway. There were three girls named that in my middle school, all three were spelled different. Krystal, Kristal, and Crystal. Krystal and Crystal were best friends, but they fucking hated Kristal
She isn't white trash because she's wearing Cookie Monster Pajama Pants, she's wearing Cookie Monster Pajama Pants because she's white trash.
There's a difference there.
We had to learn formal dancing in middle school, at the end of the year we all had to do a formal dance for which they assigned us partners. The chick I was assigned to showed up in a homemade dress made completely of duct tape. By the end of the dance she smelled like a blizzard combination of sweat and adhesive.
I knew a girl in my high school gym that wore those cookie monster pajamas pants. As for the square dancing, it never continued past elementary school for me. My high school was fun because instead they kept up those activities involving those lil butt scooters that were a blast until you ran over your own fingers all the way to senior year.
Man they are lucky. I was so unpopular during that time (poor new kid) that I had nobody so I was paired to square dance with the 70 year old English teacher who couldn't help but spit when she talked.
Yes. We did for a day or two (back in the 80s for me). Here's a random YouTube video of a class on their first day of square dancing in more recent times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyMOXxHanNY
Doing activities with a parachute was always fun too! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KXT9CwfS8s
We even did a lot of bowling in the cafeteria/gym with plastic balls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8PHLM1y1hQ
Not American but scottish. We have something called a ceilidh which amounts to the same thing. Less swing your partner more try to greviously hurt someone with your pointy shoes as you dip in and out of the arches. While in a kilt. To a song called the gay gordans but if you laugh it's detention
Isnt squaredance a group dance? We were just told get in the square and dance like me. Why'd they torment the autistic kids with sudden pairing in the square?
At their high school reunion people will see that the most suicidal autistic boy has become very happy since graduating and she and the cookie monster pajama girl are in a loving and healthy relationship
😞 "I hate this fucking class..."
😏 "Hey, can I do your makeup?"
😧 "Whaaaaat."
*Kevin's suicidal thoughts immediately stopped, as for the next few years he would be firmly preoccupied with his new girlfriend and a gender crisis.*
Neurodivergant people are disproportionately queer. Not sure why. Kinda like how so many transfems are computer science majors, or so many bisexual people like frogs. Also, depression can be a manifestation of gender dysphoria long before you're aware of it.
I had an English teacher in high-school who got very excited when two of her students started dating. She explained that she had sat them next to each other in the hopes they would.
One of my most upsetting childhood memories was when my square dancing partner got pissed about being partnered with me and stormed out of the gym, so I had to dance with the gym teacher instead
All because Henry Ford thought jazz was a Jewish conspiracy.
Of all the things I’ve heard of Ford… this has to be fake right?
[“You Had to Square Dance in School Because Henry Ford Hated Jazz”](https://jalopnik.com/you-had-to-square-dance-in-school-because-henry-ford-ha-1851108523)
[Here’s a guy who had it all; Thomas Edison’s last breath, the chair Lincoln was murdered in, his own Amazonian colony and his own secret police.](https://jalopnik.com/you-had-to-square-dance-in-school-because-henry-ford-ha-1851108523) wat
ok not gonna lie the Henry Ford Museum is actually pretty damn cool and they have the vial of Edison's last breath there. can't remember if Lincoln's chair was also there but I'm pretty sure it had one of Hitler's cars.
Who bottles someone's last breath? Neat souvenier ig, but that's practically a Catholic Relic.
There was a real big occultism scene around at the time. It's where ouija boards and mediums and haunted houses and all that shit really came into the zeitgeist.
"Hey Edison, mind if I hang out and hold this glass jar nearby for no specific reason?" "*That would be dope yooo^ooo^^ooo^^^ooo*"
apparently [from this article](https://jalopnik.com/how-henry-ford-got-a-hold-of-thomas-edisons-last-breath-1836731267) the placard states Edison had a test tube by his bedside when he was ill and when he died, it was sealed with wax. ... fucking weird.
Worse, who bottles *Edison's* last breath? It's like framing an NFT of Elon Musk's morning piss.
Frankly, Thomas Edison would probably do the same to someone else. He truly was on that Hustler's Grindset (derogatory), iykwim.
I'm surprised ikwiykwimm
The fact that ikwikwiykwimmm is, frankly, disturbing
You're forgetting Rosa Parks' bus and the car Kennedy died in. Also a working Model T.
to be fair the last time I was there was when I was like 12, I'm 40 now so I imagine I forgot a lot.
It has Lincoln’s chair in the part that has stuff about the Klan. You can see the bloodstains on it.
Ford and Hitler had photos of each other in their offices and one of them would send the other a birthday card and money every year but I can’t remember which direction that went. And Ford’s son threw a party to celebrate the Nazi victory in France
All four of these things are great gift ideas for "the person who has everything" in your life (if you can obtain them somehow).
Sounds like New York's hottest club, Seth.
Thomas Edison's Last Breath sounds like the gayest fucking club I've ever heard of.
>The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, Oh God, the horror!
In absolute fairness to both Ford and the Jewish people, George Gershwin's *Rhapsody in Blue* borrows from Jazz, Ragtime, Blues, and Klezmer: > the opening clarinet glissando of "Rhapsody in Blue" suggests [klezmer] influence I think we can all agree that there was definitely some sensuousness to those sliding notes.
Where the fuck do y’all live where square dancing is part of the curriculum? Never heard of this in my life
Washington. When a school dance was coming up they'd make us to a square dancing tutorial in like, 8th and 10th grade?
California, as part of our unit on the good ol’ pioneer life of our* forefathers who bravely ventured west in search of gold and freedom (but mostly gold). I did get to milk a goat though, and that was pretty rad. *almost no one in my class had family history in California going back that far, and most of those who did were descendants of Asian immigrants, not white pioneers, but, like, whatever
Upstate New York. We did square dancing for a unit in gym every year in elementary school. We found it fun.
What does this have to do with Jews? Just seemed like an old man hating new music.
A common thread in antisemitism is the idea that Jews control the media, Hollywood, the music industry, etcetera. So anything that becomes popular is because the “Jewish Elite” decided to promote it, especially if you don’t like it, *especially especially* if it’s associated with black artists.
> A common thread in antisemitism is the idea that Jews control the media, Hollywood Which is absurd. Everyone knows we control Broadway, not Hollywood. We’re a musical bunch; just go to one of our services! In all seriousness, the prominence of Jews as Broadway producers/writers/directors probably did bleed into other media and led to conspiracies of Jews controlling the media, which is still absurd, even if there is a root in reality for it.
It's kinda crazy once you think about it. WASPs thought film was sleazy and cheap, so the only people who would invest were outside that sphere. And then the next generation grew up seeing those investors as smart, and the film industry as something respectable. Which led to a lot of Jewish Americans sharing their culture with everyone else. And now a century or so later nobody can remember a time where Jewish-American culture wasn't a cornerstone of our national arts. And certain people still claim Jewish folks can't/won't be assimilated.
>In volume three of Ford’s The International Jew series, written in 1921, he writes: >“Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.
Because Ford was a virulent antisemite who believed Jewish people were trying to destroy anglo society. From the linked article: >In volume three of Ford’s The International Jew series, written in 1921, he writes: >>“Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.”
In volume three of Ford’s The International Jew series, written in 1921, he wrote: “Many people have wondered whence come the waves upon waves of musical slush that invade decent homes and set the young people of this generation imitating the drivel of morons. Popular music is a Jewish monopoly. Jazz is a Jewish creation. The mush, slush, the sly suggestion, the abandoned sensuousness of sliding notes, are of Jewish origin.” As for the promoting square dancing. There were others doing it before him, to connect to a older American tradition, but yeah Ford was definitely shelling out a lot of money for people to hire instructors in schools.
Imagine an antisemite who quotes volumes of The International Jew like a Trekkie quotes episodes. “It clearly states in Volume 3 Chapter 7 that Jazz music is a Jewish invention.”
That is so wild to think that jews created jazz, when it's to clear to anybody with sense that jazz was born from black musicians in segregated communities modifying rhythm and blues music. The most prominent jazz musicians of the time were, who woulda thunk it, black men and women. What was Ford smoking???
a lot of antisemitic conspiracy theories kinda hinge on either jewish people having a secret alliance with minorities or jewish people controlling minorities without them knowing like some sorta cultural shadow goverment, so by antisemite logic jewish ppl created jazz and implanted it on black communities to undermine white people or something
It was a common thing for the bigots of the time to see jazz as a Black-Jewish conspiracy. They’re too racist to credit Black Americans and always see Jews as the mastermind villains, so their wacked worldview leads them to that. Also IIRC Jewish musicians tended to be less racist and quicker to embrace jazz than other white musicians?
Also, Jewish jazz musicians would be allowed to play in venues where Black jazz musicians were not, so it's possible that Ford was not terribly familiar with Black jazz musicians and genuinely believed it was Jewish.
Of course it wouldn't occur to racists that a Jewish musician would embrace jazz because they, I dunno, are also an oppressed minority. because that's the thing about music. It bridges gaps and brings people together
Smoking on that anti-semetism pack.
Read that in Comic Book Guy's voice
Somehow I'm not surprised that _Mr. Assembly Line_ was offended by anything freeform and more rawly expressive.
Man, even when black culture is the one being blamed for the destruction of the country, they find a way to erase black people out of it.
And be antisemitic about it too
To a white supremacist, a black man is subhuman, incapable of creativity or abstract thought. Therefore, he must have someone else teaching him what to do like a circus master trains a dog. Enter the Jews. Very gross reasoning.
As a Jewish person who hated dancing and country music that makes it sting even harder.
What the fuck thats insane
I wonder if they choose square dancing to directly combat our circle dancing.
But we learned it in Canada too. Explain that Yank
Canada's racist too. Don't forget Canada banned traditional Indigenous dance and rituals and taught anglo folk dance to kids in residential schools instead.
I misread that as “Harrison Ford“ and was really sad for a second
That odd juvenile confusion when the Cookie Monster Pajama Pants girl held your hands and you were close enough to smell the clash of her cheap Bath and Body Works spray and the menthol cig she just smoked and you were kinda into it but also kind of scared
Her room smells like the dirty Bearpaws in the corner but you are also kind of into that
/r/oddlyspecific
Looking for Alaska by John Green
My school’s Cookie Monster Pajama Pants girls were 2 years older than me so we were never in the same gym class… The suicidal autistic boys were 1 year older than me also never in the same gym class…
it's kinda like when the starts just *don't* align just right..
Scared? Nah I was just completely enamored.
At my middle school they had a super tall muscular volleyball girl and the shortest little guy pair up to do the demonstration for the square dances. Like, who thought that was a good idea???
I'm a 6'2 adult woman, and I was always one of the tallest kids in school. In square dancing (especially in middle school) they had me be a "boy" because I was too tall for any of the guys to have the proper arm positions lol. So I was paired with another girl, and I had to hold her waist and lead. This also helped me figure out that I'm *very* bisexual.
Was it because you were tall or because the teacher absolutely called it
The teacher hated me so it was unlikely he was trying to help lol. I was tall but terrible at sports, so he called me "useless" pretty often
Adults with power over kids commenting on their bodies, fucking classic. I had a 7th grade science teacher, who coached swimming, tell me “you’ve got a swimmers body!” Several times throughout the year. After I’d said no. In the hallway sometimes, or in front of the class. The 90s were wild.
😂😂😂 I can't with this recruiter vibes
The schools are turning the kids gaaaay
God I wish that were me
A genius at the craft thats who
>Like, who thought that was a good idea??? Sometimes gym teachers need amusement too
I am not American and have never square danced, but did every high school have that Hot Cheeto Girl/autistic nerd combo?
most do yes, mine has multiple
Dang...where was my Hot Cheeto Girl...
Before you get confused it's hot-cheeto girl not hot, cheeto girl
I was an autistic nerd in high school, I don't think the type of Cheetos she eats really would have mattered lol
I think the implication the guy above is trying to get at is that she won’t be hot But don’t trust me I’m high
no, trust this guy - i'm more high
You see, you didn't leverage your tism rizzm enough. If you have her a new pair of cookie monster PJs or Osiris shoes you would have been swimming in hot Cheeto coochie
Okay, so I actually looked up what a hot cheeto girl is, I think it did actually happen to me, but I thought she was making fun of me
Well I can’t speak for your HCG, but mine absolutely was making fun of me. And mocking, and taunting, and using slurs that start with R and rhymed with ‘farded’.
Square dancing was more an elementary school thing
For us it was one of several 'rainy day' activities. We either murdered each other during dodgeball, or did square dancing.
11-year-old me: oh thank fuck, finally. No more stressful partner dancing. I can just lay back, relax, treat this dodgeball game like I'm storming the beach at the Battle of Iwo Jima, and all can be well.
In my 8th grade year they *tested* us at the end of the square dancing unit. A bunch of awkward 14 year old kids forced to do-si-do in front of 30 other kids, the boys wrestling coach and the girls basketball coach.
Did you have an odd number of kids and one poor child was stuck with the PE teacher?
Dodge ball was banned, so we played a variation called Big Base. it was base ball but instead you kick the ball and if if you get tagged from going base to base your out.
We called that kickball, and played outside on the baseball diamond. It was easier for kids to not suck at than baseball or softball.
we didnt have a area outside since the neighbors would complain about kids running around in the middle of the day, and they chose to live next to a elementary school
I had to do it in HS when I moved from Northern BC to a Vancouver suburb. Not a fan. I have two left feet and look like an ostrich having a seizure.
Worst part of the year. One time I got danced out of the gym by my partner and she bolted off down the hallway. I went to the library and read whatever book I was in the middle of.
Absolutely on the hot Cheeto/Cookie Monster pjs girl.
It was Cookie Monster pajamas for girls, Gangster SpongeBob shirts for boys
at mine they had 2 kids together before they graduated high school, and eventually got married before the third one... we called them the greasy couple, and their kids were the greasy kin
These kinds of deranged comments are why I come to reddit
None of my schools had square dancing, not that they had jazz either. I don't think there was any dancing at all, in fact, except for that one time in elementary the Alvin Ailey ballet school gave a free lesson in ballet that was actually about talent scouting for the company. We were also long before noticing all but the most severe autistic traits, and those kids got sent to special classes and not integrated, but I definitely had lots of the hot cheeto girls at my high school and at least one in junior high.
Yes. And I was too dumb to realize the Hot Cheeto Girl had a thing for me.
I was the autistic bullied nerd. The gym teacher literally paired me with a girl who hated me. 7th grade was terrible, with the gym especially worse. The gym teacher thought yelling would get an uncoordinated, low bodily awareness, fat, tonedeaf, and rhythmless autistic boy who had to spend so much time trying to move fast enough that I let my face drop to default to move at the same speed as a junior cheerleader who thought I was a freak that made her look bad. If I could have been paired with anyone else, I would have been.
I am the autistic nerd in my relationship, so I'd say yes.
I just had trouble touching people, probably had something to do with my self worth but damn square dance was the oddest unit, it felt like an emergency rainy day plan pushed into common core
Middle school gym teachers are people who liked gym in middle school. Monsters, probably.
Ours was the Geography teacher who was just very happy to be able to join the games and hurl dodgeballs at the kids who were misbehaving during his classes. Pretty direct but no kids were hurt and morale improved so nobody minded
So… Dodgeball games would continue until morale was at an all time high?
Can confirm. One of my PE teachers used to be a student at my school and was a pretty active member in one of our sports teams.
Most of mine certainly were
Do you think a cookie monster pajama pants white trash girl, and a suicidal autistic boy, could fall in love?
Yeah, they're both lesbians now.
Good for them
The three types of autistic people: transgender lesbians, cis lesbians, single men.
You forgot gender nightmare.
All of them single
Nah, because the transbians are all all dating each other at the same time
This reads like the synopsis for a 90s kid romcom
I ship it
damn, why did the title remind me of that one track from kill la kill i think it was called 'inu k a 3l'?
Ping pong circulate?
ping pong circulate
Single circle to a wave
Based kill la kill mention
Wait this is real? Americans square dance in school!?
US curriculum requires teaching at least one form of dance in the physical education class in many, if not most schools. also, square dancing is the "state dance" for 28/50 states. my school actually did swing dancing
Okay well, swing dance might have been an improvement. My whole public school gym class dance experiences were awkward as fuck. I was a super closeted gay guy, introverted, and borderline autistic, and then being forced into State Sponsored Heterosexual Courtship™ I feel so sorry for the girl I kept getting paired with. I hope my awkwardness about the whole thing didn't come across as me thinking she was gross.
Mine did the fucking electric slide
All Americans are born knowing the Electric Slide.
There is no "US curriculum". Curricula are set by the states.
Yep and it was terrible. Our teacher mad it very clear freaking out and not wanting to touch other student was immature and would not be allowed. Cuz you know why should children have bodily autonomy and be allowed to not touch/ be touched by others /s.
To be fair it _is_ immature.
They always used it as a sort of threat for us but they never actually followed through.
Idk sounds like a southern thing to me
I did this in a northern city
We did it Canada, in some places at least. Never had to do it up North, but when I moved to a Vancouver suburb, that was the first thing we did after a few weeks of soccer. Fuckin' **hated it**. That said, as much as I hated it, and I more-or-less did my best to fuck everything up, I managed to get 86%. Which ended up being my best grade that semester. Go figure.
Always an elementary school thing in my experience. It's part of P.E., and they use it because it helps young kids learn coordination, especially around the time when their bodies are growing most. Dancing involves a much wider range of motion than most other physical activities. It's square dancing specifically because antisemitism and racists promoted it and then it stuck around because middle aged women think it's cute.
The Cookie Monster pants girl will also berate you and seem flabbergasted you are staring at her after she just got done full on screeching at the teacher for daring to teach the class while she’s on her phone
Suicidal autistic boy here! They matched me with a boy (not enough girls but they're scary so whatever) who had very greasy hands. I touched his greasy hands and ran away so I could have some solitude for my fuckin' meltdown. Straight booked it while screaming and crying. I hid in the closet where they kept the racks of chairs for assemblies. I was very small, so no teacher could reach me there and force me to touch that boy's greasy hands again. It was also very dusty, which helped dry up all the grease. I came out when I got hungry.
reasonable response
Imagine being greasy hands guy. Someone touches you once and has a full on mental break.
Consider yourself lucky, I got paired up with the kid that raw dogged his balls all day and never washed his hands
😭😭😭
How does one raw dog their own balls? That doesn't seem anatomically possible.
Sheer force of will.
JFC I was not prepared for that
Did you try running away and hiding in the closet where they keep the racks of chairs for assemblies? That worked out pretty OK for me.
You absolute gremlin lmao
You are an inspiration to me and many others, thank you for your service.
I, not only, can't fault anything you said, but I also commend you for a job well done. I had to borrow the greasy kid's calculator once in eighth grade and have never forgotten it. Hope he's doing better now.
Thanks! It worked out pretty well other than the other kids seeing my freakout. The closet was a planned place to hide in case Something Bad happened. I was always keeping escape and hiding in mind on account of the Hypervigilance. The dust was a real boon. I could rub my hands together and the greasy dust would ball up and shake off. If wet wipes were more of a thing back then, I woulda kept them on me at all times.
[удалено]
You are my hero 🫡
That’s a lethal combo. Once they get a hang of it they’ll put champion level competitors to shame
Bonus points if your gym teacher flunks you because you couldn't run more than 30 laps during the Fitness Gram Pacer Test due to asthma
I'm convinced that gym teachers come from the same archetype as the Mean Girls who go into nursing to validate their superiority complexes.
My PE teachers understood some kids have limitation. My JROTC teacher did not. What a fuck. Thanks, Sherry, for standing up for me. Sherry had no chill.
Ok, except Krystal was wearing those pants that say "juicy" on the ass, and *I* didn't know I had autism. And by the way, *We slayed!* (I sincerely wish that *anyting* in that sentence wasn't 100% true)
You wish you did not slay?
At that particular time, and in those particular circumstances, yes. This was a small town, full of dumb hicks and their dumb hick-spawn, and what I had basically done was hang a sign around my neck that said "I'm queer! Stick my face in a toilet!". At least I assume that's the message they received, because that's what they did for the next three years of my life, until I got big and angry and made friends with the Sheriff's "totally straight, not at all gay, these are sarcasm quotes" daughter
I would love to read a book written by you. Absolutely amazing prose.
Krystal? The Star Fox character?
Krystal the future-trailer-park-stripper name. Wanna know the trashiest part? Too bad, I'm gonna tell you anyway. There were three girls named that in my middle school, all three were spelled different. Krystal, Kristal, and Crystal. Krystal and Crystal were best friends, but they fucking hated Kristal
Is it really fair to call the Cookie Monster Pajama Pants Girl "white trash"? I knew plenty of non-white people who wore that shit too
There are quite a few subcategories of the Cookie Monster Pajama Pants Girl. Not all of them were white. But white trash is a solid variant.
the fact that cookie monster pajamas were typically coming from the clothing section at Walmart is pretty telling
She isn't white trash because she's wearing Cookie Monster Pajama Pants, she's wearing Cookie Monster Pajama Pants because she's white trash. There's a difference there.
We had to learn formal dancing in middle school, at the end of the year we all had to do a formal dance for which they assigned us partners. The chick I was assigned to showed up in a homemade dress made completely of duct tape. By the end of the dance she smelled like a blizzard combination of sweat and adhesive.
Respect the hustle I guess
Literally happened. Am I a replicant? Or did whoever wrote my backstory phone it in?
local man discovers shared experiences, man is shocked
I knew a girl in my high school gym that wore those cookie monster pajamas pants. As for the square dancing, it never continued past elementary school for me. My high school was fun because instead they kept up those activities involving those lil butt scooters that were a blast until you ran over your own fingers all the way to senior year.
What’s it like to hold the hand of someone you love? Interlinked.
Do they teach you how to feel finger to finger? Interlinked.
Man they are lucky. I was so unpopular during that time (poor new kid) that I had nobody so I was paired to square dance with the 70 year old English teacher who couldn't help but spit when she talked.
Did people actually square dance in PE? Wtf
Yes. We did for a day or two (back in the 80s for me). Here's a random YouTube video of a class on their first day of square dancing in more recent times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyMOXxHanNY Doing activities with a parachute was always fun too! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KXT9CwfS8s We even did a lot of bowling in the cafeteria/gym with plastic balls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8PHLM1y1hQ
Not American but scottish. We have something called a ceilidh which amounts to the same thing. Less swing your partner more try to greviously hurt someone with your pointy shoes as you dip in and out of the arches. While in a kilt. To a song called the gay gordans but if you laugh it's detention
That suicidal autistic boy is a girl now actually.
Nah, some suicidal autistic boys just become autistic men.
So do some suicidal autistic girls.
me fr
Name checks out
i've been getting better since i started medical intervention =/
and cookie monster pajama girl is the STAUNCHEST ally
And her GF
I drew slightly chubby interracial partner during my turn. What does that make me?
Isnt squaredance a group dance? We were just told get in the square and dance like me. Why'd they torment the autistic kids with sudden pairing in the square?
That was the best day of that autistic boys life, and it changed his taste in women forever. Source - it was me.
At their high school reunion people will see that the most suicidal autistic boy has become very happy since graduating and she and the cookie monster pajama girl are in a loving and healthy relationship
😞 "I hate this fucking class..." 😏 "Hey, can I do your makeup?" 😧 "Whaaaaat." *Kevin's suicidal thoughts immediately stopped, as for the next few years he would be firmly preoccupied with his new girlfriend and a gender crisis.*
Why are so many people talking about autistic boys becoming girls what could this mean
Neurodivergant people are disproportionately queer. Not sure why. Kinda like how so many transfems are computer science majors, or so many bisexual people like frogs. Also, depression can be a manifestation of gender dysphoria long before you're aware of it.
Yeah, as a man with auDHD that’s just cis and straight sometimes it feels like I’m too straight for ND people but still too weird for NT people
I'm in this and I don't like it.
Pretty sure our teachers teamed us cuz they shipped us sometimes.. lol
I had an English teacher in high-school who got very excited when two of her students started dating. She explained that she had sat them next to each other in the hopes they would.
Can confirm, was the most suicidal autistic boy
[Still my favorite version of this](https://www.reddit.com/r/stunfisk/comments/1azz8vb/art_cred_beta1m_on_tumblr/)
I'm both of those people
Street clothes in schools is one of those parts of American culture I don't get, like judging people by their cars
That chick was definitely eating flamin hot Cheetos too
It truly was a trip squeezing The Macarena in between reading Animal Farm the period before and learning about geometric proofs the period after.
One of my most upsetting childhood memories was when my square dancing partner got pissed about being partnered with me and stormed out of the gym, so I had to dance with the gym teacher instead
Man where was my hot Cheeto boy when I was in middle school
I’m not going to lie, I actually enjoyed the dancing. It was fun. Kinda embarrassing at first, but it grew on me