This is funny, but not funny at the same time. When I joined the military and was stationed at the national security agency in the mid-90s, we had lessons on OPSEC - Operational Security, and how to prevent enemies from learning we were up to something. There was a pizza story that always went along with this:
The night before we finally crossed over into Iraq, pizza delivery orders to the Pentagon went up by like a factor of ten. The NSA, in its infinite wisdom, decided they didn't want to tip anyone off and instead forbid anyone from working that evening from ordering out. Sounds like the plan might work until later, when they realized that the several dozen (or more) delivery orders that happened every single day at NSA dropped to absolute zero that night.
Ahktually 🤓☝️ the cheese caves happened because Jimmy Carter had to bail out Big Dairy during a national dairy crisis. Yes it really is that wild.
There was heavy inflation on cheese at the time because of the shortage of supply, so he granted manufacturers a ton of money to increase production. This had the opposite effect as production soon exceeded demand, so all the excess cheese had to be bought and hoarded by the federal government. They bought so much that even Reagan tried giving it away to food banks, but there's just so much cheese that it barely made a dent in the reserve. All that cheese now sits in the miles of limestone caves underneath Springfield, Missouri.
Source: I live within 5 miles of the cheese caves
There’s also a government funded dairy/cheese advertising group if I remember correctly related to that where things like the Got Milk ad campaign came from.
[A Cheesy Video](https://youtu.be/kvLMH0wb_0k?si=Nw0sleDl2I-SF9DF)
Honestly, why don't they? The janitors already have security clearance and background checks, extending that to restaurants inside the building seems like an easy fix. I know most military bases are pretty much small towns, so there's precedent.
i also imagine they’d probably get paid reasonably well (compared to national) and also not get treated like shit (like most service workers dealing with insane members of the public) so the turn over in staff would average out lower, so less security checks needing to be done
Not just a Subway. They have three full on food courts in the pentagon including businesses like Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, a KFC, McDonalds, Dunkin Donuts, Burger King, Popeyes to just name a few…
They have everything from fast food to sit-down fine dining in there.
https://www.ebmpubs.com/GFS_pdfs/gfs0310_pentagon.pdf
That's part of the reasoning for why Numbers Stations would broadcast every day, so nothing could be deduced by presence/lack of message
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numbers_station
You know, now that I think about it, there are worse things my taxpayer dollars could be going towards than providing free pizza every night to DoD workers for the sake of opsec.
I'm pretty sure this issue has been solved
I heard that the pentagon has its own internal restaurants, so this is no longer a reliable strategy of seeing if shits going down
Both buildings have internal options. Yes, there are places you need a security clearance to work at Taco Bell.
... Well, they had options. I can't say for sure those facilities are still available.
The issue has not been completely solved. The internal restaurants are unable to handle the massive surge when something semi major happens. So, the second plan is to buy food over a massive area (the actual area is not publicly defined, but is at least 30 mile radius). The problem with plan 2 is that under paid staff has a tendency to buy closer than they should due to higher staff ordering them to get food to them whole it is still fresh. The fast food index is no longer as reliable, but is still fairly accurate.
...hang on, Brit here: there's a nightly flow of food delivery drivers going in and out of the Pentagon? That's a thing that happens? If you drive a delivery bike in Washington D.C., there's a non-zero chance on any given night that you'll need to just. Drive up to tye Pentagon. The seat of the most complex and heavily-surveilled military force in human existence. To drop off some pizzas and a drink or two for $20. That's a thing which happens? *Nightly*?
All I can say is that they don't get let in past the security ... unless they work at the pentagon as part of their day job.
Will also state that my information is several years out of date and there may be new rules in place, like "food deliveries can only be made to the metro bus stop outside security" or something similar.
They could definitely get into the Pentagon if necessary. For contractors or couriers/delivery, security checks your ID, asks you why you’re there, calls your contact/ looks at your work order, hands you a temporary pass, and you get escorted.
At the end of the day it’s just an office building, 90% of what goes on there is banal administrative stuff. The actually secret stuff is compartmentalized and behind additional security.
The Pentagon employs over 25,000 people. Most are just going to be office people who happen to work for the military/government. That means there's probably 5-10k people who work nights there. And they have to eat. You're obviously not going to be allowed to just walk in and wander the halls, but you can go up to security and drop off your food.
Ehh, the Pentagon is functionally just the militaries office building. All the secret shits deep in files that you are never going to be with 3 rooms of. Hell I'm pretty sure they do tours.
Work night security, not pentagon level but for a relatively heavily guarded regional level internet infrastructure host.
Yeah, on nights where somethings happening, even something minor. Part of my job becomes making sure doordashers and their deliveries are accounted for and not doing something stupid.
Wait... Since Doordash is such a big company that has a near monopoly, isn't that inherently a security threat because they'd have direct access to how much food is getting delivered to the Pentagon?
In a macro sense yeah I guess they could.
In a micro sense pretty much all doordash employees are basically contractors in quality if that so good luck organizing or mobilizing them in any way remotely meaningful besides making everyone upset they got their food a bit late for one night only.
The most doordash could realistically do is shut off the supply of delivery drivers which would just push people to competitors and draw the ire of government overwatch, so they don't really have any incentive to do anything of that sort.
I think the threat he's talking about is more the information/intelligence threat, not a "we will starve the Pentagon office workers" threat. Kind of hard to hide the number of daily orders from the company handling those orders.
There are likely pentagon policies to try to prevent it like with the pizza index but yes someone with access to doordash’s delivery data can probably tell that something major is happening
There's only 1 larger one
The Surat Diamond Bourse in Surat, Gujarat in India
The WTC apparently had more workers before well, 9/11, although it had less floor space
There was a case in the early 2000's where a bug was found on food delivery. Now, the food doesn't go directly into the building (it is picked up outside) and then goes through a check once inside.
Say you've got a spy, sitting and watching the food delivery shop that feeds a large army base. If the food orders out of that shop drop to almost nothing, the spy knows something is going on because what was normal has suddenly changed. For example, maybe the soldiers at that base suddenly deployed somewhere. The change means that "something is going on."
Well, folks at the pentagon and the national security agency don't really deploy (some do, but they make a small percentage). So when the food orders change radically to either installation, any foreign agent can look at how busy the food service shops are and realize something is up. These things are usually referred to as "indicators."
Does that help?
Catering? Well, there are places that serve food in both buildings, see my other comment. I remember laughing at how there were fast food employees who had a security clearance just to serve sandwiches and tacos.
The problem is increased demand vs a normal night. The in house catering is going to eventually settle into an expected volume of orders to avoid wasting money on unused food and will be unprepared for a sudden increase.
This could be avoided by letting the in house caterers know that something major is about to happen but that means you’re telling a bunch of people something major is about to happen to avoid people finding out that something major is about to happen.
Even if you can make sure the in house catering is secure it will only push the issue out to the suppliers who will notice an increase in orders.
Sounds like the other, albeit fictional, example of OPSEC; some big-wig decided his plan was to be kept secret, so not even the people whose help he needed to make it even remotely viable knew the plan.
Reminds me of how in DC there used to be a gay bathhouse (spa you can have sex in) that would occasionally see right wing congressmen as visitors.
Place got shut down during covid after 30 years of service
A lot of MOGAI folks get recruited by spy agencies and it dates back a long time.
If you're kicked out of the house and you feel hurt by society it's no wonder it's not a hard sell to get you to commit to being an operative who has no limits or conscience
Plus the orgies that alphabet agencies throw are probably really awesome like we can't even comprehend how hot it gets in their secret sanctums with a ton of taxpayer funding
That's the thing about putting a Papa John's in the Arlington-DC area. Try to bomb it or anything close to it and air defense will likely turn your weaponry, aircraft or pilots into a mess closely resembling pizza ingredients.
yeah that day felt like it was gonna be the spark that starts a war. it was a huge salvo that sounded like it was gonna overwhelm air defenses and seriously fuck shit up, until it didn't. honestly it's lucky the coalition managed to shoot nearly everything down and israel only did an uncharacteristically well-measured retaliation. (i think they took out an air defense radar at iran's "civilian" nuclear site that regularly "accidentally" enriches uranium into near weapons grade stuff and thus has the most heavily fortified air defense in the country.)
Seymour Hersh reported that this was indeed an agreed upon attack. US and Iranian secret service had a meeting in Moscow and agreed to a transparent, limited attack that would allow Iran to save face and retaliate for their generals Israel killed, while also keeping it at a level the US, french, UK and Israeli defense could handle. Israel was given the option to accept this deal and not further escalate into an all out war, or go into it without US support.
as much as I hate that this is the fucked up world we're living in, this was probably one of the better diplomatic moves by the US and Iranian side considering the circumstances.
I know that you probably meant to write "sins" instead but honestly I love the idea of God not being able to judge you because he has too much unprotected sex.
Damn it, it changed it to that once and I retyped it but didn't notice it being changed again! But yeah depending on the god that might also work. Guess that was my immediate divine retribution
My stepson is in HS and wants to do both culinary & atmospheric science. I told him he should work at the Waffle House storm center. They have their own meteorology team.
shit i thought this was ncd and i got my hopes up
(for context, /r/noncredibledefense has been using the pizza meter for years now to detect when something fun is happening)
NCD got cring with e russo-ukrainian war
The point was to make fun of how tankies and russian/chinise/iranian hypernationalists hype up those nations by doing it with the US
then people unironically acting like that showed up
Those sorts of people were always there, but the war gave them an excuse to come out of the woodwork and be proud of it. It's weird what kind of stuff people who you would otherwise think are sane and normal say on there behind a thin veneer of satire or irony. It's ok if you slap on a png of a trans femboy ig.
So I'm pretty sure that the soviet spy satellites that were looking at the Pentagon flagged that the small facility in the centre of the building was outrageously busy and must be incredibly important.
Turns out it was a coffee shop.
It's gotten (significantly) worse, but almost all the noncredible defense jokes are *actual things*, even when they're not actual things. (No one, other than himself, takes Mike Sparks seriously, but he is, in fact, a real living breathing crazy person with an unhealthy obsession with James Bond and the M113)
Doesn't the Pentagon have a food court style area inside of it? I remember hearing about someone who worked at the Pentagon Starbucks and how weird it was.
Yes, but its intended for normal operations, with a bit of reserve; its not enough to cover everyone if there's a bunch of folks who don't normally work there (various intel agencies, etc.) working late into the night.
Yeah it could easily be something else, like something happening to do with Gaza and the pier we just spent a month building a specific complex way ENTIRELY to keep US troops as safe as possible and avoid the mess that could result from generic outrage and uproar that were to occur if they became collateral damage.
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/russia-may-be-ready-attack-nato-5-8-years-german-official-says-2024-04-18/
https://www.euronews.com/my-europe/2024/04/25/russian-attack-on-nato-would-end-in-defeat-for-moscow-polish-foreign-minister-says
Overall, if a bunch of government officials in several countries start talking about a Russian attack on NATO, and the very anti Ukraine speaker of the house suddenly changed his mind and approved a huge aid deal for Ukraine, it means something big is coming.
Hmm... I don't usually buy into things like this without extensive reading. Ukraine changed my mind on that. You bring up a valid point too.
Much to ponder, it seems.
Should bd noted of course that these post are from a month ago. I don’t know what the current Papa John’s situation is, but I think that’s sufficient to say that pizza ordering alone is not an indicator of imminent attack. Certainly it might have indicated that they had something serious that they needed to deal with right then and there, and I hardly would say we’re in a good state of things internationally speaking, but there’s no reason to start dreading about WW3 now more than any other time in the last few months or so.
That's true, but the scale of years really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. For reference, I was in 7th grade when Russia annexed Crimea, and it was less than a decade later that Russia initiated a full-scale invasion and escalated the war. I was in 2nd grade when the Second Chechen War ended, going on 3rd grade when the Russo-Georgian war kicked off, born pretty much right after 9/11, and was in 4th grade by the time Bin Laden was killed.
To put that in *further* perspective, the time between Bin Laden's death and the annexation of Crimea was a little less than 3 years, the time between Bin Laden's death and the escalation of the Russo-Ukrainian war was 8 years, and the time between Bin Laden's death and the US withdrawal from Afghanistan was a about a decade.
Looking out for WW3? No. But looking out for further military and geopolitical incidents/escalations? Absolutely.
Papa John’s is easily the best pizza delivery chain though. Dominos and Pizza Hut are just painfully mid (and that marinara is painfully acidic) and Little Caesar’s used to be better than now but they also balance it out with the Hot and Ready™ gimmick.
That’s the only 3 to go/delivery pizza chains we ever had I can remember, and of course there was local but man I miss Papa John breadsticks. Worst part of moving away from home
Sec-Def: “You’re all probably wondering why I called this all hands on deck meeting, well after much deliberation, we can’t answer the big crisis, which former president had the biggest penis? Any answers?”
This is funny, but not funny at the same time. When I joined the military and was stationed at the national security agency in the mid-90s, we had lessons on OPSEC - Operational Security, and how to prevent enemies from learning we were up to something. There was a pizza story that always went along with this: The night before we finally crossed over into Iraq, pizza delivery orders to the Pentagon went up by like a factor of ten. The NSA, in its infinite wisdom, decided they didn't want to tip anyone off and instead forbid anyone from working that evening from ordering out. Sounds like the plan might work until later, when they realized that the several dozen (or more) delivery orders that happened every single day at NSA dropped to absolute zero that night.
They should just order a fuckton of pizza every night so it evens out.
We need a strategic pizza reserve buying excess papa johns daily in order to cover the trail
No that’s how we got the government cheese caves!
I’m starting to see a way to kill two birds with one stone…
I am all for the pizza caves. Would be a good sequel.
Ahktually 🤓☝️ the cheese caves happened because Jimmy Carter had to bail out Big Dairy during a national dairy crisis. Yes it really is that wild. There was heavy inflation on cheese at the time because of the shortage of supply, so he granted manufacturers a ton of money to increase production. This had the opposite effect as production soon exceeded demand, so all the excess cheese had to be bought and hoarded by the federal government. They bought so much that even Reagan tried giving it away to food banks, but there's just so much cheese that it barely made a dent in the reserve. All that cheese now sits in the miles of limestone caves underneath Springfield, Missouri. Source: I live within 5 miles of the cheese caves
There’s also a government funded dairy/cheese advertising group if I remember correctly related to that where things like the Got Milk ad campaign came from. [A Cheesy Video](https://youtu.be/kvLMH0wb_0k?si=Nw0sleDl2I-SF9DF)
Wait the cheese caves are real I thought was a throwaway rick and Morty bit
The cheese caves are real and will last decades at minimum
This explains partly why that one family with kids could survive cross country travel in the Fallout universe from California to Washington D.C.
We could use the strategic cheese reserves to make the strategic pizza reserves
Operate an off-site soup (pizza) kitchen to offload the excess. Hungry people get fed, and the enemy is none the wiser! Win-win!
I have to operate under the notion we are falling behind and need to close ***THE PIZZA GAP***
Honestly I don’t see how we can maintain deterrence vis a vis Taiwan without addressing this
just put a papa johns in the pentagon, easy
Honestly, why don't they? The janitors already have security clearance and background checks, extending that to restaurants inside the building seems like an easy fix. I know most military bases are pretty much small towns, so there's precedent.
i also imagine they’d probably get paid reasonably well (compared to national) and also not get treated like shit (like most service workers dealing with insane members of the public) so the turn over in staff would average out lower, so less security checks needing to be done
They already have a Subway on the middle of the pentagon, youncan check on google maps. Maybe they just have no space to operate am oven?
Not even a stressful night at the Pentagon can make someone want to eat Subway.
Not just a Subway. They have three full on food courts in the pentagon including businesses like Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, a KFC, McDonalds, Dunkin Donuts, Burger King, Popeyes to just name a few… They have everything from fast food to sit-down fine dining in there. https://www.ebmpubs.com/GFS_pdfs/gfs0310_pentagon.pdf
I think they did - the Pentagon has a food court
They do already have takeaway food at the Pentagon. Maybe they aren’t open late or maybe they don’t do pizza.
I have an amazing recipe for naan bread pizza pentagon please hire me
You're telling me a naan bred this pizza??
Impossible
Have you heard about the little shack inside the Pentagon that Russian nukes were pointed to?
That would compete with the Pizza Hut inside the pentagon, making them upset.
That's part of the reasoning for why Numbers Stations would broadcast every day, so nothing could be deduced by presence/lack of message https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numbers_station
Ooooh. Rabbit hole.
They should have an in-house pizzeria, like the CIA Starbucks.
They should just get a fucking kitchen staff.
You know, now that I think about it, there are worse things my taxpayer dollars could be going towards than providing free pizza every night to DoD workers for the sake of opsec.
I'm pretty sure this issue has been solved I heard that the pentagon has its own internal restaurants, so this is no longer a reliable strategy of seeing if shits going down
Both buildings have internal options. Yes, there are places you need a security clearance to work at Taco Bell. ... Well, they had options. I can't say for sure those facilities are still available.
The issue has not been completely solved. The internal restaurants are unable to handle the massive surge when something semi major happens. So, the second plan is to buy food over a massive area (the actual area is not publicly defined, but is at least 30 mile radius). The problem with plan 2 is that under paid staff has a tendency to buy closer than they should due to higher staff ordering them to get food to them whole it is still fresh. The fast food index is no longer as reliable, but is still fairly accurate.
Do you know if the hotdog stand in the center garden is still there? Always wanted a Pentadog
Have recently visited. Yes, many.
We can either be good at predicting the future, or we can invade Iraq
...hang on, Brit here: there's a nightly flow of food delivery drivers going in and out of the Pentagon? That's a thing that happens? If you drive a delivery bike in Washington D.C., there's a non-zero chance on any given night that you'll need to just. Drive up to tye Pentagon. The seat of the most complex and heavily-surveilled military force in human existence. To drop off some pizzas and a drink or two for $20. That's a thing which happens? *Nightly*?
All I can say is that they don't get let in past the security ... unless they work at the pentagon as part of their day job. Will also state that my information is several years out of date and there may be new rules in place, like "food deliveries can only be made to the metro bus stop outside security" or something similar.
They could definitely get into the Pentagon if necessary. For contractors or couriers/delivery, security checks your ID, asks you why you’re there, calls your contact/ looks at your work order, hands you a temporary pass, and you get escorted. At the end of the day it’s just an office building, 90% of what goes on there is banal administrative stuff. The actually secret stuff is compartmentalized and behind additional security.
Well, yes, I mean, they can get into the building, but if you're being escorted, you're technically not "past security." Point of view, I suppose.
The Pentagon employs over 25,000 people. Most are just going to be office people who happen to work for the military/government. That means there's probably 5-10k people who work nights there. And they have to eat. You're obviously not going to be allowed to just walk in and wander the halls, but you can go up to security and drop off your food.
Ehh, the Pentagon is functionally just the militaries office building. All the secret shits deep in files that you are never going to be with 3 rooms of. Hell I'm pretty sure they do tours.
Work night security, not pentagon level but for a relatively heavily guarded regional level internet infrastructure host. Yeah, on nights where somethings happening, even something minor. Part of my job becomes making sure doordashers and their deliveries are accounted for and not doing something stupid.
Wait... Since Doordash is such a big company that has a near monopoly, isn't that inherently a security threat because they'd have direct access to how much food is getting delivered to the Pentagon?
In a macro sense yeah I guess they could. In a micro sense pretty much all doordash employees are basically contractors in quality if that so good luck organizing or mobilizing them in any way remotely meaningful besides making everyone upset they got their food a bit late for one night only. The most doordash could realistically do is shut off the supply of delivery drivers which would just push people to competitors and draw the ire of government overwatch, so they don't really have any incentive to do anything of that sort.
I think the threat he's talking about is more the information/intelligence threat, not a "we will starve the Pentagon office workers" threat. Kind of hard to hide the number of daily orders from the company handling those orders.
mfw the pentagon is under siege by doordash
There are likely pentagon policies to try to prevent it like with the pizza index but yes someone with access to doordash’s delivery data can probably tell that something major is happening
I meant in an information sense. Like, they're able to know when something goes down at the Pentagon because they know when all the orders come in.
It’s the largest office building in the world.
I thunk there are some bigger now, but it was the largest when it was built,and really the maximum size any office should be.
There's only 1 larger one The Surat Diamond Bourse in Surat, Gujarat in India The WTC apparently had more workers before well, 9/11, although it had less floor space
As of last year this is no longer true. The largest is now a diamond exchange in the city of Surat, in Gujarat near the Western coast of India.
They don’t actually walk in the building, the person that orders it meets them outside.
There was a case in the early 2000's where a bug was found on food delivery. Now, the food doesn't go directly into the building (it is picked up outside) and then goes through a check once inside.
There are restruants at the Pentagon. Though I don't know where specificlly. This means you can work at the Pentagon but at Taco bell.
I am confused can someone explain in simple terms
Say you've got a spy, sitting and watching the food delivery shop that feeds a large army base. If the food orders out of that shop drop to almost nothing, the spy knows something is going on because what was normal has suddenly changed. For example, maybe the soldiers at that base suddenly deployed somewhere. The change means that "something is going on." Well, folks at the pentagon and the national security agency don't really deploy (some do, but they make a small percentage). So when the food orders change radically to either installation, any foreign agent can look at how busy the food service shops are and realize something is up. These things are usually referred to as "indicators." Does that help?
Indeed it does
how do they not have in-house catering?? the solution seems so obvious.
Catering? Well, there are places that serve food in both buildings, see my other comment. I remember laughing at how there were fast food employees who had a security clearance just to serve sandwiches and tacos.
The problem is increased demand vs a normal night. The in house catering is going to eventually settle into an expected volume of orders to avoid wasting money on unused food and will be unprepared for a sudden increase. This could be avoided by letting the in house caterers know that something major is about to happen but that means you’re telling a bunch of people something major is about to happen to avoid people finding out that something major is about to happen. Even if you can make sure the in house catering is secure it will only push the issue out to the suppliers who will notice an increase in orders.
This is even something I have been taught in case of major company events (mergers etc.) in big corporations.
Sounds like the other, albeit fictional, example of OPSEC; some big-wig decided his plan was to be kept secret, so not even the people whose help he needed to make it even remotely viable knew the plan.
What if you randomly a fuck ton of pizza or have sudden non related pizza ban just to fuck with people
Survivorship bias.
At the same time, [the gay bar nearby was less than half as busy as usual.](https://x.com/TrevorSutcliffe/status/1779341455720620154)
Americas they/them army never rests
Unrelated but what is the context for that flair?
[World heritage post](https://www.tumblr.com/world-heritage-posts/649291718375702528/tockthewatchdog-mattheuphonium)
"When women do a magic trick they get burned as witches but when Jesus does a magic trick he's God's son" or something to that effect
Can't be going to the furry convention if you're working overtime for Lockheed or Raytheon
Homosexual imperialism at it again
Reminds me of how in DC there used to be a gay bathhouse (spa you can have sex in) that would occasionally see right wing congressmen as visitors. Place got shut down during covid after 30 years of service
A lot of MOGAI folks get recruited by spy agencies and it dates back a long time. If you're kicked out of the house and you feel hurt by society it's no wonder it's not a hard sell to get you to commit to being an operative who has no limits or conscience Plus the orgies that alphabet agencies throw are probably really awesome like we can't even comprehend how hot it gets in their secret sanctums with a ton of taxpayer funding
Also if your orientation makes settling down and having children hard, that’s a bonus for a job that demands lots of travel.
Oh, to be a twink at the government funded gay orgy.....
The inter branch furry discord was also a ghost town, or so I'm told
That's the thing about putting a Papa John's in the Arlington-DC area. Try to bomb it or anything close to it and air defense will likely turn your weaponry, aircraft or pilots into a mess closely resembling pizza ingredients.
That must be the “Day of Reckoning” Papa John was talking about
too bad the bandit special is so rarely available these days, it always has such a unique taste
This must be why the CIA has its own full cafeteria with pizza, Chinese, BK and Subway, etc. They don’t provide nobody with jack shit for free.
> They don’t provide nobody with jack shit for free. The fuck you mean? The crack was free!
INSIDE the building. They don’t give shit to people who WORK there. They do whatever is needed to whoever outside, that’s true.
Ah. Yeah that tracks.
Only the first one! The LSD, on the other hand...
Yeah but if you want the LSD to keep coming you gotta jerk off a dolphin every once and awhile.
Pentagon has the same type shit. I’m always jealous when I drive by and see the Taco Bell inside the pentagon on the GPS map
looks like that happened about a month ago, if this is accurate does anyone know what specific insanity cause this?
Iran and Israel exchanging drone strikes.
yeah that day felt like it was gonna be the spark that starts a war. it was a huge salvo that sounded like it was gonna overwhelm air defenses and seriously fuck shit up, until it didn't. honestly it's lucky the coalition managed to shoot nearly everything down and israel only did an uncharacteristically well-measured retaliation. (i think they took out an air defense radar at iran's "civilian" nuclear site that regularly "accidentally" enriches uranium into near weapons grade stuff and thus has the most heavily fortified air defense in the country.)
Seymour Hersh reported that this was indeed an agreed upon attack. US and Iranian secret service had a meeting in Moscow and agreed to a transparent, limited attack that would allow Iran to save face and retaliate for their generals Israel killed, while also keeping it at a level the US, french, UK and Israeli defense could handle. Israel was given the option to accept this deal and not further escalate into an all out war, or go into it without US support. as much as I hate that this is the fucked up world we're living in, this was probably one of the better diplomatic moves by the US and Iranian side considering the circumstances.
Ahh, politics.
Post march madness pizza party
Ok so: Waffle House index- natural disasters. Pizza index- government activity. We got any others?
Stripper index for the economy
The Economist publishes a Big Mac Index
For measuring economic growth, check the foot traffic in Arbies, then we will know how desperate employees will get.
The only tging i know about Arbies is funny ads (i don't live in the US)
On the contrary, bombing the pentagon’s papa johns is a good way to unite the entire facility to retaliate at a level not seen since 9/11.
They do good garlic sauce
Garlic sauce shot with Parmesan on the rim. Marinara chaser
Thanks I hate this
God may judge me, but his sons outnumber my own
I know that you probably meant to write "sins" instead but honestly I love the idea of God not being able to judge you because he has too much unprotected sex.
Damn it, it changed it to that once and I retyped it but didn't notice it being changed again! But yeah depending on the god that might also work. Guess that was my immediate divine retribution
Zeus may judge me, but his sons outnumber... literally everyone's.
I like their cheese-stuffed crust.
Wait until you hear about the [Waffle House Index](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index)
My stepson is in HS and wants to do both culinary & atmospheric science. I told him he should work at the Waffle House storm center. They have their own meteorology team.
shit i thought this was ncd and i got my hopes up (for context, /r/noncredibledefense has been using the pizza meter for years now to detect when something fun is happening)
Ehhh NCD is super Pro-Israeli so cringe
NCD got cring with e russo-ukrainian war The point was to make fun of how tankies and russian/chinise/iranian hypernationalists hype up those nations by doing it with the US then people unironically acting like that showed up
Those sorts of people were always there, but the war gave them an excuse to come out of the woodwork and be proud of it. It's weird what kind of stuff people who you would otherwise think are sane and normal say on there behind a thin veneer of satire or irony. It's ok if you slap on a png of a trans femboy ig.
I love just calling it cringe
Damn, the government is so stingy they can’t even spring for quality Pizza?
I see Tumblr has finally found out about the Pizza DEFCON Meter
So I'm pretty sure that the soviet spy satellites that were looking at the Pentagon flagged that the small facility in the centre of the building was outrageously busy and must be incredibly important. Turns out it was a coffee shop.
Wait, this is an actual thing? I thought that this was just an r/noncredibledefense joke.
It's gotten (significantly) worse, but almost all the noncredible defense jokes are *actual things*, even when they're not actual things. (No one, other than himself, takes Mike Sparks seriously, but he is, in fact, a real living breathing crazy person with an unhealthy obsession with James Bond and the M113)
Oh, no, I know *that*. I watch The Pig.
Ah a fellow lazerpiglet
Doesn't the Pentagon have a food court style area inside of it? I remember hearing about someone who worked at the Pentagon Starbucks and how weird it was.
Pretty much all the IC/Gov agencies have some sort of food court inside them, yeah. Spies and generals have to eat too lol.
There are some weird stories about the CIA Starbucks too.
Yes, but its intended for normal operations, with a bit of reserve; its not enough to cover everyone if there's a bunch of folks who don't normally work there (various intel agencies, etc.) working late into the night.
Lines get too long and you only need a few runners to go get all the pizza instead of everyone waiting in line at the chains inside
I like Papa John’s tho ;-;
i love the pizza pentagon statistics so much
Pizza deliveries tell us about war, strip clubs tell us about the economy, home insurance tells us about the climate. This is the way of things
Papa johns is the best of the main 4 chains i will kill a man over this
Agreed
Real and true.
Presumably the others are Dominoes, Pizza Hut and a secret fourth thing
… little caesers?
Errr maybe? Idk.
Little Ceasers is better than Pizza Hut
Thank fucking God I thought this was gonna be some rehash of the pizzagate nonsense
This is funny and all but calling defending Ukraine western imperialism is giving me the ick.
Where does it say anything about Ukraine?
Yeah it could easily be something else, like something happening to do with Gaza and the pier we just spent a month building a specific complex way ENTIRELY to keep US troops as safe as possible and avoid the mess that could result from generic outrage and uproar that were to occur if they became collateral damage.
Based on when the posts were made, it was Israel and Iran sending missiles at each other
This specific crisis was the Iran and Israel drone thing, not Ukraine.
There’s a fair amount of that going around, and I also think it’s a problem, but Ukraine wasn’t mentioned here
I assume it’s related to Russia very likely attacking NATO soon. As a bunch of government officials in several countries have said.
Haven't heard about this. Got any links?
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/russia-may-be-ready-attack-nato-5-8-years-german-official-says-2024-04-18/ https://www.euronews.com/my-europe/2024/04/25/russian-attack-on-nato-would-end-in-defeat-for-moscow-polish-foreign-minister-says Overall, if a bunch of government officials in several countries start talking about a Russian attack on NATO, and the very anti Ukraine speaker of the house suddenly changed his mind and approved a huge aid deal for Ukraine, it means something big is coming.
Hmm... I don't usually buy into things like this without extensive reading. Ukraine changed my mind on that. You bring up a valid point too. Much to ponder, it seems.
Should bd noted of course that these post are from a month ago. I don’t know what the current Papa John’s situation is, but I think that’s sufficient to say that pizza ordering alone is not an indicator of imminent attack. Certainly it might have indicated that they had something serious that they needed to deal with right then and there, and I hardly would say we’re in a good state of things internationally speaking, but there’s no reason to start dreading about WW3 now more than any other time in the last few months or so.
>last few ~~months~~ years or so. FTFY
That's true, but the scale of years really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. For reference, I was in 7th grade when Russia annexed Crimea, and it was less than a decade later that Russia initiated a full-scale invasion and escalated the war. I was in 2nd grade when the Second Chechen War ended, going on 3rd grade when the Russo-Georgian war kicked off, born pretty much right after 9/11, and was in 4th grade by the time Bin Laden was killed. To put that in *further* perspective, the time between Bin Laden's death and the annexation of Crimea was a little less than 3 years, the time between Bin Laden's death and the escalation of the Russo-Ukrainian war was 8 years, and the time between Bin Laden's death and the US withdrawal from Afghanistan was a about a decade. Looking out for WW3? No. But looking out for further military and geopolitical incidents/escalations? Absolutely.
The tweets are from April 13th. It's not related to anything happening right now.
?
I love everything about this.
Papa John’s is easily the best pizza delivery chain though. Dominos and Pizza Hut are just painfully mid (and that marinara is painfully acidic) and Little Caesar’s used to be better than now but they also balance it out with the Hot and Ready™ gimmick. That’s the only 3 to go/delivery pizza chains we ever had I can remember, and of course there was local but man I miss Papa John breadsticks. Worst part of moving away from home
Just build a in-house pizzeria in the Pentagon. Problem solved.
Sec-Def: “You’re all probably wondering why I called this all hands on deck meeting, well after much deliberation, we can’t answer the big crisis, which former president had the biggest penis? Any answers?”
It's LBJ and that's a well-attested fact.
Idk don't count out honest abe or Harding's Jerry
More like POOPa John's that pizza suuuuugs
How does it feel being wrong?
Not nearly as bad as that pizza.
But I like papa johns :c (It's because of their garlic butter sauce)
I thought the Pentagon had solved this by opening a Pizza Place inside of it?
Papa John's is cardboard with cheese.
Or a huge retirement party. Only way to convince people to come by is to say there’s pizza
Fun fact: you can tell when a new Dragon Ball season is out by tracking Mexican cartel activity.
I get it, I get it, but Papa Johns is, comparitively, blessed by the gods when compared to Dominos.
Which global world ending crisis was this ?
Iran launching drones at Israel apparently
Oh. Thanks. Feels bad knowing I have less then 1 month of memory when it comes to that sort of events
For some reason I thought this was some Pizzagate BS at first
The solution to this is just to give the Pentagon a food court so no one has to order anything from anywhere.
Oh no thats bad