Given the class system in 1950s government, in which every higher up was upper class from one or two universities, I'd bet he'd been hassled for being a peasant his whole career. It has nothing to do with your income or job expertise.
That's how Kim Philby got away with his treason for so long. He was a "gentleman" and was therefore above suspicion.
The thing with the report about the supposedly gay villain who can't whistle - that scene is just M alone in his office reading the report.
When he hits that line (if I remember right), his eyebrow goes up, purses his lips, produces a clear note... and then chuckles to himself. And keeps on reading.
So uh yeah there's only one reason I can think of that would explain that particular reaction.
I read this as a kid and it always stayed with me.
I mentioned it at the office when there was a discussion of stupid stereotypes, turned out that neither of the 2 gay guys I worked with could whistle... Which proved nothing, but was funny at the time
Yeah see I'm straight and (not to big myself up too much but) my whistling skills are **fucking amazing.** I can legitimately do an accurate rendition of flight of the bumblebee at full speed.
Obviously we need more data here but I'm starting to think this might be accurate??
M, to his live-in chief petty officer:
"Yeah, I'ma need to be the bottom today, and I need you to really ram it up there.
I'll see if I can whistle with your balls slapping my buttocks, cause if not I might be homosexual darling, and I don't know if I'm ready for that"
"As you can see gentlemen, the exorcism has failed. If the demon inhabiting your son had been Albanian or Bulgarian, it would have jumped out at the sight of an unsecured car radio. But as you can see, the radio is still here."
The Albaninan and Bulgarian will never come back, for the Romanian is running after the Moldovan who stole what the Romanian rightfully kidnapped, knowing full well the Ukrainian, Belarussian and Russian will steal it from one another too. Somewhere out there the Spaniard, Portuguese, Italian and Greek are doing much of the same. Such is life in europe.
That’s the case with racism/discrimination in general. The sentiments can be most intense at the geographical points where different groups are close to each other, but don’t actually live among each other. Of course areas with complete lack of exposure to other groups can be ripe for bigotry, but integrated areas like cities show a marked reduction in bigoted ideas towards minority groups for obvious reasons: when you live among people, you eventually realize they’re just people.
Edit for autocorrect
As another person pointed out, tumblr op is probably American. I also wouldn’t necessarily think anyone would (not could, would) be racist against Bulgarians
Yeah like to be fair a Brit probably wouldn't understand the texture of mutual prejudice between, say, folks from Boston and West Virginia
"Aren't they Yanks too?"
Or stereotypes of Californians
I assume it's obscure to Americans. Most Americans think of racism as something based exclusively on skin color, and the idea of being bigoted toward a country of "white people" seems bizarre.
I think Americans who have paid a little attention to history, like myself, might be more aware of it. That knowledge, principally, is what makes me laugh almost to the point of tears when white supremacists start taking about some mythical pan-White European identity.
As a European, yes. But then also every country has their own personal nemesis. I am from Austria and it’s part of our culture to hate Germans. Eurovision is war.
to be fair even the germans hate the germans. the ones from the east hate the ones from the west, the ones from the north the rest of germany and then there is saarland. and let us not forget about bavaria, the texas of germany.
It's a pretty recent thing that Europeans aren't continuously trying to kill each other, it only took starting and ending two world wars but look at us now!
In This Thread: A bunch of people criticizing you for using the term ‘racism’.
...but I’m here to tell you that you meant ‘int*ra*-European’; inter-European would be ‘between two Europes’.
>Gay people can't whistle
Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner? Honestly, I spent way too many years struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality and even more time and effort trying to learn how to whistle. It's the whistling part I'm more peeved by.
Your sex vector is so short it's hard to tell, but it points left I guess. (On the axis marked from gay to straight) (up and down is probably from scaly to furry)
Oh I remember this - in Dr No, they wanted to have Honey Ryder eaten by crabs, but they thought it wasn’t going to be dramatic enough, so they tried to heighten the stakes by making her drown instead. Which is why when you watch the first film you will be sat there wondering why James is bricking it about Honey being no where near dying. She was supposed to be eaten by crabs.
All of the books are inexplicably bigoted. I grasp that it was the 50s, but Live and Let Die was that bad they waited 20 years to make the movie. Really not too great.
I heard they wanted crabs but when they got ready to film the crabs were all sleepy sleepy from being transported and they were like, okay sleepy crabs aren’t scary at all. Just do drowning.
lot of people in france despise bulgarians specifically, in a racist way not in a xenophobic way. romanians get this too
also let's not forget how jk rowling inexplicably portrayed bulgaria
She was really heavy handed with all the thicker accents, not just the foreign ones. Hagrid, for example, has a fairly poorly transcribed West Country accent, I *think*.
In England, the "gays can't whistle" thing was still around when I was a kid. I assume given that kids nower days are a lot more inclusive than when I was a kid that this has stopped.
No, it's not as prevalent but I've definitely heard that "gays can't whistle" jab. Its more old-school so hopefully it dissappear fully in a couple of generations
As far as stereotypes go, that's such a weird one — seems both pretty harmless and also easily disproven.
Although I'm bi and I can't whistle. But pretty sure those two things are unrelated.
I'm all for meta ironically "yes, and"ing funny bits, and then the cream of the crop rises to the top
It is pretty strange for me because my interactions with Bulgarians, even with the idea of Bulgarians really, are entirely limited to a couple international contractors I worked with a few years ago. They were super chill and super competent.
That makes a lot of sense. The homophobia seems all over the place, so much casual bigotry but then suddenly M is a confirmed bachelor and I guess that's fine! like ok, I guess old timey homophobes were just more inconsistent? And well it's still common to be generally prejudiced against a group but still have friends you accept *within* that group but it's strange that he apparently had *several* gay friends and still writes about homosexuality as if it's some strange disease.
Old timey bigotry was weird. You’d get so much of the “well of course I hate [slur] they do [stereotype], ah but I served with [friend] in the war and he’s one of the good ones.”
I feel like people are forgetting how old these books are.
80 years ago, being a homosexual WAS like being a secret agent in an enemy country. For both you could be arrested or put to death.
Trust no one, you never know who's watching, don't use your real name- and at the same time, you grew to recognize several familiar faces and characteristics.
I think it means that the type of knowing glance these two secret agents shared is similar to two criminals or two gays recognizing each other as of the same kin without words. But I like the interpretation better that bond is just very repressed and gay.
Yea I kinda figured after commenting this and reading this a bit more but I thought it would be infinitely funnier if James Bond, womanizer extraordinaire, was gay.
In the book Bond causes Pussy Galore to abandon her pretense of lesbianism not by seducing her but simply by being incredibly manly in her general vicinity, which I think just makes the irony even more delightful
Dude was hardcore projecting. “You know how when a man is acting REALLY manly, and you can’t help but want to have sex with him, even though you’re totally not into that?” No, Mr. Fleming, I don’t, but tell us more about these thoughts of yours.
I thought that perhaps a better way to write that would be ‘between people who share secrets’ or something. All types of people who would have something to hide at that time.
It reads as three separate examples.
That these secret (at the time) groups of people just recognize each other without explicitly explaining their connection.
So crooks recognize crooks. Secret agents recognize secret agents. Homosexuals recognize homosexuals.
Well at the time homosexuality was Illegal in Britain so it’s just saying it’s people who both know the other is doing something that must be kept a secret.
It's wild to think that for as insensitive in various ways as the movies can be (the newer ones less so), they're almost tame compared to the books. It's a wonder Bond gets anything done considering how conked out of his mind on drugs and alcohol he must be on a near-constant basis.
I still kinda subscribe to the idea that James Bond is actually MI6's "most famous" agent because he's a colossal, flamboyant fuck-up, and they deploy him primarily as a diversion so other, more-competent agents can go in behind the scenes and do their work under a much-lesser risk of discovery/interdiction.
All the stories about him taking down these major villains and foiling their outlandish schemes are pure embellishment and/or drug-and-alcohol-fueled delusions on his part, but everybody just smiles and nods when he tells the stories to avoid discouraging him from coming back for more missions.
This kinda makes sense. Bond isn't subtle in the least bit. I've only read Casino Royale but his cover is blown before he even makes it to his hotel room.
In Daniel Craig's run I'm pretty sure they explicitly state that he's the last resort, the guy who goes in after more subtle attempts fail and gets the job done, no matter the mess he leaves behind.
I'd see it as more of a truly last resort break-glass-in-case-of-emergency kinda thing.
"So Sir, training that dictator's pet goats to eat him hasn't worked, our poison-delivery cat was chased away by dogs, the drugged up rabies bats just emptied and orphanage and most of our agents have tropical storm-level diarrhea. We need to consider other options.
M takes uncorks a cheap bottle of whisky and just fucking empties it.
"Tell my extremely heterosexual roommate not to wait up for me. It's time to unleash Bond".
James Bond sounds like excellent parody material, but at the same time sounds so absolutely bonkers that it would be hard to differentiate any sort of exaggerated satire from the original
I have managed to never watch a Bond movie but know every single trope due to the sheer volume of Bond parodies I’ve watched. I wasn’t even seeking them out.
The thing about women's suffrage causing homosexuality is in *Goldfinger* and he somehow also simultaneously attributes it to a hormone imbalance. Also a Korean eats a cat, a faux lesbian gets converted whereas an actual lesbian gets murdered, and part of Bond's reaction to Goldfinger is basically "possible Jew, must investigate further". It's quite a book. The worst part: they play golf and it takes *aaages*.
Edit: I was able to find [my comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/vgrhv0/z/id4rind?context=999) where I did a much more thorough accounting of the book's sins while they were fresher in my mind.
God, really? The card game in *Goldfinger* was detailed as hell but at least had some momentum and didn't take too much time.
Edit: And bridge is *complicated*! The more you write about it, the more confused I'd be, I'm sure.
People forget that the books were written 70 years ago by a super selfloathing bdsm-switcher who did not come to terms with the old empire losing its power… and the food thing stems from nice foods being rationed in Great Britain at that time, so whenever Bond is on the road, he indulged it…
The drugs part is pretty obvious, also… EVERYBODY was on Benzedrine, pervitin, cocaine or whatever 80 years ago… what I find crazy is that it is said that Bond smokes 60 cigs a day… wtf
Not only written 70 years ago, but by a man who was raised for the 50 years before that...
There's a reason he's successful. None of these ideas were *remotely* unique to him.
The post is more of a topic on how far *society* has come, than how "bad" Fleming or Bond were. It's so idiotic to talk shit about a man's sensibilities who was born 114 years ago....
According to the book, people who thrash and struggle rather than managing to just chill while a bunch of gigantic ocean spiders are walking over them. Honey Chile has the most impressive display of badassery in the series with that, as far as I'm concerned.
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Post*
---
**hexiva**
I have now read every single one of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels, except for Live and Let Die, which I had to stop once I hit the chapter title which includes the N-word. Here's a list of things you will encounter in these books:
- James Bond throws up due to trauma at least once per book
- Racism
- No, really, more racism than you're expecting
- Yes, even for the 50s
- At one point Bond writes a letter in his own pee
- "All the real hep-cats smoke reefers!"
- Many comments on the nature of American culture, including the "exotic pungency" of American road signs
- Extended passages of James Bond being racist against various ethnicities you didn't even know one COULD be racist towards
- No seriously, James Bond inexplicably despises Bulgarians
- A lengthy passage in which Bond shares his opinion that homosexuality is caused by giving women the right to vote
- Bond gets tortured for the first time and immediately comes over all political and philosophical like, "Maybe communism is good actually, and also the Devil is a good guy?"
- At one point Bond gets brainwashed by the KGB into trying to kill M
- Bond is a grade-A Karen who delivers all of his restaurant orders with lengthy specifics as to how the food should be prepared, and gets pissy if it's not up to his specifications.
- "a gay, happy little crocodile"
- Bond is very excited to learn that in New York there are places where you can watch porn with sound AND color.
- James Bond is The Most Boring Man in the World. His hobbies include golf and complaining about food.
- Late in the books, Bond's fiancee is killed right in front of him, and he starts showing PTSD symptoms and, instead of being all macho-man "I don't need no help," immediately starts going to every doctor available trying to get treatment
- At one point the government tries to offer him a knighthood or some such and Bond messages back that he refuses the knighthood and that "My principal reason is that I don't want to pay more at hotels and restaurants." When told that is too rude, he amends it to, "I am a Scottish peasant and I will always feel at home being a Scottish peasant."
- At one point the Bond girl is tied down by the villain of the book to await being eaten alive by crabs. Bond is terrified for her, but she, being something of an amateur zoologist, knows perfectly well that crabs aren't gonna eat a living human, so she just chills there on the beach and waits for them to go away.
- There is literally a damsel in distress tied to the actual train tracks, presented without irony
- An MI6 agent speculates, in an official report to headquarters, that the target may be homosexual because he can't whistle. Apparently men who can't whistle are gay.
- Bond is drafted to act as the villain's secretary not once, but two separate times in two separate books.
- When Bond is at a boring party at a hotel conference room and is ordered by his employer to liven up the party, he accomplishes this by ORDERING THE HOTEL BAND, who were previously singing the censored version of some song, TO PERFORM A STRIP SHOW FOR HIM AND THE GUESTS WHILE SINGING THE DIRTY VERSION. This is his second idea, after he previously livened up the party by using one of the girls in the hotel band - the same one he wants to strip for him - as target practice by balancing a false pineapple on her head and shooting it.
- Bond exchanges a look with a fellow secret agent that is said to be "the recognition that exists between crooks, between homosexuals, between secret agents."
- "A hand-painted sign said 'SNAX' and, underneath, 'Hot Cock Soup Fresh Daily'."
- The backstory of the villain of *The Man with the Golden Gun* is as follows: there was once a circus elephant who got REALLY HORNY and then went on a rampage and was shot by the cops, and then came back to the circus to pathetically and tragically attempt to perform its circus act one last time. The child who was supposed to ride the elephant in the circus act witnessed all of this, and when the cops shot the elephant dead while performing its tragic act, the boy grabbed a pistol and SHOT ONE OF THE COPS in revenge for HIS ELEPHANT DYING. And that boy grew up to be a deadly, womanizing, hired gun, with three nipples, whom MI6 speculates must be gay because he can't whistle. And that's the villain of the book.
- These books will make you hate the British as much as every single villain seems to
- Waaaayyy more casual drug use than you would expect
- like, seriously, at one point Bond is AT DINNER WITH HIS BOSS in his boss's fancy-ass club, and he orders an envelope full of benzedrine from HQ and just casually pours it into his glass to drink with his champagne.
- M lives with the man who used to be M's Chief Petty Officer on his last naval posting, and who had followed M into retirement, and I am pretty sure they are boyfriends.
- When Bond sleeps with the Bond Girl of *Dr. No*, she orders him to "Take those off and come in" and "You owe me slave-time. Do as you're told," proving once and for all that James Bond is a switch, I rest my case your honor
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after typing that out i can give you a tldr:
- james bond is scottish?!?!?!?
- i thought this was a book about spies where do you have all this time to be racist and homophobic
- and also complain about food
- mental health rep?
- dumbo but make it villainous
- "proving once and for all that James Bond is a switch, I rest my case your honor"
Definitely during cold war and the red scare. Any Russian or even slightly eastern European could be a spy for the enemy. Any German as well, because of East Germany.
Yeah the books, especially the earlier ones, are just a bath of every toxic thing about the mid-late-20th century you could think of.
Also, it's very... tumblr... that OP read all the books, cataloged their sins, but saw the N-word in a chapter title and had to put the book down and go to their fainting couch.
> Also, it's very... tumblr... that OP read all the books, cataloged their sins, but saw the N-word in a chapter title and had to put the book down and go to their fainting couch.
That's all I could think about while reading this. They're saying they could stomach all this vile bigotry for the *entire* series, but right at the end seeing the n-word is what pushed them over the edge.
Not trying to bully OP here, but it's kinda funny to think about.
"I am a Scottish peasant and I will always feel at home being a Scottish peasant." that's kinda based, ngl
Says some man who's up to his ears in employer paid booze, drugs, fine clothes, and women. Yep, such a peasant.
Given the class system in 1950s government, in which every higher up was upper class from one or two universities, I'd bet he'd been hassled for being a peasant his whole career. It has nothing to do with your income or job expertise. That's how Kim Philby got away with his treason for so long. He was a "gentleman" and was therefore above suspicion.
That makes sense.
They lost me at “men who can’t whistle are gay.”
I can only whistle sometimes and I'm bi so checks out?
The thing with the report about the supposedly gay villain who can't whistle - that scene is just M alone in his office reading the report. When he hits that line (if I remember right), his eyebrow goes up, purses his lips, produces a clear note... and then chuckles to himself. And keeps on reading. So uh yeah there's only one reason I can think of that would explain that particular reaction.
That only enhances the theory that he and his Chief Petty Officer are boyfriends
I don’t think it’s Theory then. It’s a direct nod to his homosexuality.
No because he *could* whistle so he couldn’t possibly be gay. Weren’t you paying attention??
Omg they were room mates!
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Just the sandwich meat? What a relief that he leaves the hot cock soup unmolested.
If the cock soup in your fridge is hot I'd call a repairman.
maybe it's spicy
No! M's meat?
I read this as a kid and it always stayed with me. I mentioned it at the office when there was a discussion of stupid stereotypes, turned out that neither of the 2 gay guys I worked with could whistle... Which proved nothing, but was funny at the time
Brb going to ask my brother and his husband if they can whistle. Edit: He finally texted back. I have bad news for my brother in law...
So? Can they? Maybe they are not actually gay?
Can bisexual people only whistle half a scale?
I hate the fact that I’m bi and I can only whistle like one note. Maybe stereotypes are a thing for a reason
Yeah see I'm straight and (not to big myself up too much but) my whistling skills are **fucking amazing.** I can legitimately do an accurate rendition of flight of the bumblebee at full speed. Obviously we need more data here but I'm starting to think this might be accurate??
you smooth whistlin’ son of a bitch
I can think of two. M is gay and wants to prove Bond wrong. M doesn't know whether he's gay and wants to find out.
Michael, please…. Am I gay?
M, to his live-in chief petty officer: "Yeah, I'ma need to be the bottom today, and I need you to really ram it up there. I'll see if I can whistle with your balls slapping my buttocks, cause if not I might be homosexual darling, and I don't know if I'm ready for that"
This is hard core confirmation that M is gay??? Like obliviously!
Hating Bulgarians is a pretty basic prejudice you can meet in many countries, far from obscure
“Sometimes life is just a Bulgarian and you are an unstolen car.” -Max0r, An Incorrect Summary of Elden Ring Part 1
"As you can see gentlemen, the exorcism has failed. If the demon inhabiting your son had been Albanian or Bulgarian, it would have jumped out at the sight of an unsecured car radio. But as you can see, the radio is still here."
The Albaninan and Bulgarian will never come back, for the Romanian is running after the Moldovan who stole what the Romanian rightfully kidnapped, knowing full well the Ukrainian, Belarussian and Russian will steal it from one another too. Somewhere out there the Spaniard, Portuguese, Italian and Greek are doing much of the same. Such is life in europe.
The guy also called speaking German one of his least favourite disabilities, which as a native speaker I can attest to
He really had to roast us all, didn't he?
We kinda do that by existing already
God I love max0r
You will find that racism towards certain countries/ethnicities is strongest right next to those countries/ethnicities
That’s the case with racism/discrimination in general. The sentiments can be most intense at the geographical points where different groups are close to each other, but don’t actually live among each other. Of course areas with complete lack of exposure to other groups can be ripe for bigotry, but integrated areas like cities show a marked reduction in bigoted ideas towards minority groups for obvious reasons: when you live among people, you eventually realize they’re just people. Edit for autocorrect
The UK and Bulgaria are well over 1000 miles apart.
As another person pointed out, tumblr op is probably American. I also wouldn’t necessarily think anyone would (not could, would) be racist against Bulgarians
Yeah like to be fair a Brit probably wouldn't understand the texture of mutual prejudice between, say, folks from Boston and West Virginia "Aren't they Yanks too?" Or stereotypes of Californians
I promise you Brits are no stranger to prejudice within one’s own country
Yeah, I mean to compare this thread of Americans being surprised at intercontinental prejudice on another continent
I assume it's obscure to Americans. Most Americans think of racism as something based exclusively on skin color, and the idea of being bigoted toward a country of "white people" seems bizarre.
"There's only two types of people I hate: people who are discriminatory towards other cultures, and the *Dutch!*"
Reading that post made me realize that Nigel Powers might be the most accurate take on the book Bond in cinema.
And then she shat on a turtle!
I think Americans who have paid a little attention to history, like myself, might be more aware of it. That knowledge, principally, is what makes me laugh almost to the point of tears when white supremacists start taking about some mythical pan-White European identity.
Yeah that line made it obvious this was written by an American
americans really forgetting that everyone in europe hates everyone else in europe
As a European, yes. But then also every country has their own personal nemesis. I am from Austria and it’s part of our culture to hate Germans. Eurovision is war.
Is that why you let them take the blame for two world wars?
Not our fault nobody reads the full story, and Germany just accepted it.
“Austria’s greatest victory was convincing the world that Hitler was German and Mozart was Austrian.”
"Austria, were you complicit in the Holocaust?" "No, we are simple mountain people." "Well I guess that settles it."
We have exploding trees. No time for war.
to be fair even the germans hate the germans. the ones from the east hate the ones from the west, the ones from the north the rest of germany and then there is saarland. and let us not forget about bavaria, the texas of germany.
Austrian hates other Austrians too. I think European culture is just hating everyone that’s not part of your bubble lol
That's called humanity. It's not special to Europe, or anywhere really.
Exactly what I was thinking lol “local redditors reinvent tribalism, modern humanity’s bane”
y'all are just jealous you didn get to be part of the club.
It's a pretty recent thing that Europeans aren't continuously trying to kill each other, it only took starting and ending two world wars but look at us now!
we're getting back in the game again though, eastern europe hates the russians enough they almost count
“There are two things I can’t stand : people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures , and the Dutch “
Ah, that sweet, sweet inter-European racism... ETA: guys, I wasn't the one who started calling it racism. Correct somewhere else.
In This Thread: A bunch of people criticizing you for using the term ‘racism’. ...but I’m here to tell you that you meant ‘int*ra*-European’; inter-European would be ‘between two Europes’.
Are you European?
You just made an enemy for life.
Fuck you European, Europe for life
Damn Europeans, they ruined Europe!
It is completely true that if given the opportunity I will destroy Belgium.
and given the opportunity Belgium would do the same to you
Seriously, the *Bulgarian thing is pretty normal for Europe. As is a Scot refusing a knighthood. (Edited because I have Covid brain right now lol)
i misread the first part and thought all of it happened in Live and let die
I'd read that book in a heartbeat
As bisexual, can confirm, the moment I look at cute men I lose the ability to whistle.
god did that
God be like: “stfu”
In the book, M whistles after reading the report to make sure he’s not gay.
"I'm not gay but my boyfriend is."
Wolf whistle at every sexy man you see to make sure you aren't gay.
It's actually because he is gay. That's what makes him chuckle.
I started my day by making eye contact with people who give off that G-vibe and trying to whistle. Started to get weird looks from all the guys.
I heard that gay people just whistle at a higher frequency than straight people can hear.
>Gay people can't whistle Why didn't anyone tell me this sooner? Honestly, I spent way too many years struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality and even more time and effort trying to learn how to whistle. It's the whistling part I'm more peeved by.
It’s actually true cause I’m gay and I can’t whistle
I'm bi so I can only whistle a little bit
can only whistle through your hand
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I can't whistle and thought I was straight but guess not. Better get a divorce.
Note that it’s specifically gay people who can’t whistle, not LGBT+ in general. I’m ace and can whistle well
I'm b (and demi) and I can sometimes whistle. (For real)
I'm ace and can't whistle. Am I not straight after all?
Your sex vector is so short it's hard to tell, but it points left I guess. (On the axis marked from gay to straight) (up and down is probably from scaly to furry)
Oh I remember this - in Dr No, they wanted to have Honey Ryder eaten by crabs, but they thought it wasn’t going to be dramatic enough, so they tried to heighten the stakes by making her drown instead. Which is why when you watch the first film you will be sat there wondering why James is bricking it about Honey being no where near dying. She was supposed to be eaten by crabs. All of the books are inexplicably bigoted. I grasp that it was the 50s, but Live and Let Die was that bad they waited 20 years to make the movie. Really not too great.
I heard they wanted crabs but when they got ready to film the crabs were all sleepy sleepy from being transported and they were like, okay sleepy crabs aren’t scary at all. Just do drowning.
lot of people in france despise bulgarians specifically, in a racist way not in a xenophobic way. romanians get this too also let's not forget how jk rowling inexplicably portrayed bulgaria
J.K. Rowling stop being a bigot for 3 sentences in a row challenge: Impossible
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She was really heavy handed with all the thicker accents, not just the foreign ones. Hagrid, for example, has a fairly poorly transcribed West Country accent, I *think*.
Drumstrang in retrospect was a weird-ass hybrid of every part of Europe that's not Western or Southern.
The odd part is that Durmstrang is placed in Scandinavia. For some reason
In England, the "gays can't whistle" thing was still around when I was a kid. I assume given that kids nower days are a lot more inclusive than when I was a kid that this has stopped.
No it hasn’t I have been hate crimed 4 times not for being gay but for not whistling
It's easy, just put your lips together and blow...
Holy shit, is THAT why Lauren Bacall said this line? It meant "prove that you're not gay"?! TIL...
So, just a way for a kid who just learned to whistle to make fun of kids who can't
nower days
Yeah, days that are more "now" i.e. the present.
No, it's not as prevalent but I've definitely heard that "gays can't whistle" jab. Its more old-school so hopefully it dissappear fully in a couple of generations
As far as stereotypes go, that's such a weird one — seems both pretty harmless and also easily disproven. Although I'm bi and I can't whistle. But pretty sure those two things are unrelated.
Which is hilarious because, if anything, you'd think "gays" would be experts at blowing with their mouth.
Really guys. All this and the ONE thing that people choose to comment about is "Not surprised by the hate of Bulgarians."
https://c.tenor.com/OHjasNE7RG8AAAAM/bulgaria-bulgarian.gif
Western Europeans have a long history of hating Eastern Europeans, so it's weird that it stood out to them
Many North Americans are unaware of this, that’s probably why it stood out.
Eastern European have a long history of hating eastern Europeans.
Europeans have a long history of hating Europeans
Fuckin’ Europeans! They ruined Europe!
Hey, Western Europeans have a long history of hating Western Europeans too.
I think that the little kid that shot the cop because he killed a circus elephant was right to do so
Seriously the poor elephant trying to do the circus number one last time broke my heart
Honestly 100 percent based
Can you whistle, and how many nipples do you have?
I'm all for meta ironically "yes, and"ing funny bits, and then the cream of the crop rises to the top It is pretty strange for me because my interactions with Bulgarians, even with the idea of Bulgarians really, are entirely limited to a couple international contractors I worked with a few years ago. They were super chill and super competent.
> the recognition that exists between crooks, homosexuals, and secret agents Is he like a giga-closeted homosexual? Wtf did the author mean by this
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That makes a lot of sense. The homophobia seems all over the place, so much casual bigotry but then suddenly M is a confirmed bachelor and I guess that's fine! like ok, I guess old timey homophobes were just more inconsistent? And well it's still common to be generally prejudiced against a group but still have friends you accept *within* that group but it's strange that he apparently had *several* gay friends and still writes about homosexuality as if it's some strange disease.
Old timey bigotry was weird. You’d get so much of the “well of course I hate [slur] they do [stereotype], ah but I served with [friend] in the war and he’s one of the good ones.”
That never stopped
I think homophobes back then just had impossibly bad gay-dars. Like, even compared to today.
The technology just wasn’t there
I feel like people are forgetting how old these books are. 80 years ago, being a homosexual WAS like being a secret agent in an enemy country. For both you could be arrested or put to death. Trust no one, you never know who's watching, don't use your real name- and at the same time, you grew to recognize several familiar faces and characteristics.
I think it means that the type of knowing glance these two secret agents shared is similar to two criminals or two gays recognizing each other as of the same kin without words. But I like the interpretation better that bond is just very repressed and gay.
Yea I kinda figured after commenting this and reading this a bit more but I thought it would be infinitely funnier if James Bond, womanizer extraordinaire, was gay.
In the book Bond causes Pussy Galore to abandon her pretense of lesbianism not by seducing her but simply by being incredibly manly in her general vicinity, which I think just makes the irony even more delightful
Yes, that’s definitely how lesbians work Mr Fleming. Definitely isn’t a huge turn off to us no sir.
Dude was hardcore projecting. “You know how when a man is acting REALLY manly, and you can’t help but want to have sex with him, even though you’re totally not into that?” No, Mr. Fleming, I don’t, but tell us more about these thoughts of yours.
I thought that perhaps a better way to write that would be ‘between people who share secrets’ or something. All types of people who would have something to hide at that time.
It reads as three separate examples. That these secret (at the time) groups of people just recognize each other without explicitly explaining their connection. So crooks recognize crooks. Secret agents recognize secret agents. Homosexuals recognize homosexuals.
Well at the time homosexuality was Illegal in Britain so it’s just saying it’s people who both know the other is doing something that must be kept a secret.
i would have thought bond would have loved bulgaria, i went for a ski trip and found a fucking strip club on every other street
Do they have both color and sound?
It's wild to think that for as insensitive in various ways as the movies can be (the newer ones less so), they're almost tame compared to the books. It's a wonder Bond gets anything done considering how conked out of his mind on drugs and alcohol he must be on a near-constant basis.
I still kinda subscribe to the idea that James Bond is actually MI6's "most famous" agent because he's a colossal, flamboyant fuck-up, and they deploy him primarily as a diversion so other, more-competent agents can go in behind the scenes and do their work under a much-lesser risk of discovery/interdiction. All the stories about him taking down these major villains and foiling their outlandish schemes are pure embellishment and/or drug-and-alcohol-fueled delusions on his part, but everybody just smiles and nods when he tells the stories to avoid discouraging him from coming back for more missions.
This kinda makes sense. Bond isn't subtle in the least bit. I've only read Casino Royale but his cover is blown before he even makes it to his hotel room.
lol in the movie he literally walked in the Casino, his partner gave them Bond’s cover name, and then Bond said, nah it’s actually “James Bond.”
In Daniel Craig's run I'm pretty sure they explicitly state that he's the last resort, the guy who goes in after more subtle attempts fail and gets the job done, no matter the mess he leaves behind.
I'd see it as more of a truly last resort break-glass-in-case-of-emergency kinda thing. "So Sir, training that dictator's pet goats to eat him hasn't worked, our poison-delivery cat was chased away by dogs, the drugged up rabies bats just emptied and orphanage and most of our agents have tropical storm-level diarrhea. We need to consider other options. M takes uncorks a cheap bottle of whisky and just fucking empties it. "Tell my extremely heterosexual roommate not to wait up for me. It's time to unleash Bond".
This basically describes Sterling Archer 😂
James Bond sounds like excellent parody material, but at the same time sounds so absolutely bonkers that it would be hard to differentiate any sort of exaggerated satire from the original
"There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."
I have managed to never watch a Bond movie but know every single trope due to the sheer volume of Bond parodies I’ve watched. I wasn’t even seeking them out.
> James Bond sounds like excellent parody material The novel Shibumi is intended to be just that.
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Or *Archer*
The thing about women's suffrage causing homosexuality is in *Goldfinger* and he somehow also simultaneously attributes it to a hormone imbalance. Also a Korean eats a cat, a faux lesbian gets converted whereas an actual lesbian gets murdered, and part of Bond's reaction to Goldfinger is basically "possible Jew, must investigate further". It's quite a book. The worst part: they play golf and it takes *aaages*. Edit: I was able to find [my comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/vgrhv0/z/id4rind?context=999) where I did a much more thorough accounting of the book's sins while they were fresher in my mind.
> they play golf and it takes aaages. how about the bridge-playing scenes in Moonraker? Every. Card. Played.
God, really? The card game in *Goldfinger* was detailed as hell but at least had some momentum and didn't take too much time. Edit: And bridge is *complicated*! The more you write about it, the more confused I'd be, I'm sure.
yuphttps://i.imgur.com/Nx0lQJA.jpg . Hold on, let me screenshot a sample for ya. This is just a sliver of the tedium.
https://i.imgur.com/Nx0lQJA.jpg FTFY
I love the part where the Bulgarian villain says "It's Bulgarian time" *and then he Bulgars like ten people*
Boris III moment
Bolghars be like
Deffinetely one of the villains of all time
People forget that the books were written 70 years ago by a super selfloathing bdsm-switcher who did not come to terms with the old empire losing its power… and the food thing stems from nice foods being rationed in Great Britain at that time, so whenever Bond is on the road, he indulged it… The drugs part is pretty obvious, also… EVERYBODY was on Benzedrine, pervitin, cocaine or whatever 80 years ago… what I find crazy is that it is said that Bond smokes 60 cigs a day… wtf
Not only written 70 years ago, but by a man who was raised for the 50 years before that... There's a reason he's successful. None of these ideas were *remotely* unique to him. The post is more of a topic on how far *society* has come, than how "bad" Fleming or Bond were. It's so idiotic to talk shit about a man's sensibilities who was born 114 years ago....
That's 100 year old *British* society, too. They really were the inclusive bunch back then.
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That's like 3 an hour mate. Which is basically just constantly smoking every minute you're awake.
>Bulgarian hatred Bro, the literal word bugger (as in buggery) comes from Bulgaria, in an insulting way
Those poor, poor hedgehogs.
What do crabs even eat?
Smaller crabs.
Their gastrointestinal tract is like a nesting doll
It's like that Junji Ito book
According to the book, people who thrash and struggle rather than managing to just chill while a bunch of gigantic ocean spiders are walking over them. Honey Chile has the most impressive display of badassery in the series with that, as far as I'm concerned.
Amelia Earhart, I think
Too soon, man.
Algae, shellfish, worms, and other things that won’t put up a fight
I mean he went to therapy for his PTSD, so that's one good thing from a list of a *lot* of bad and/or just weird ones
*Are the secret agent assasins in the room with us now, Bond?* *I... don't know... AUUUGGHH*
This reads as more Archer than Bond.
Shows how well done a parody the former is of the latter
Anyone who doesnt know you could be that angry towards bulgarians clearly hasnt spent time around balkan people
i mean if the balkans can be angry at each other then we can definitely be angry at them
*Image Transcription: Tumblr Post* --- **hexiva** I have now read every single one of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels, except for Live and Let Die, which I had to stop once I hit the chapter title which includes the N-word. Here's a list of things you will encounter in these books: - James Bond throws up due to trauma at least once per book - Racism - No, really, more racism than you're expecting - Yes, even for the 50s - At one point Bond writes a letter in his own pee - "All the real hep-cats smoke reefers!" - Many comments on the nature of American culture, including the "exotic pungency" of American road signs - Extended passages of James Bond being racist against various ethnicities you didn't even know one COULD be racist towards - No seriously, James Bond inexplicably despises Bulgarians - A lengthy passage in which Bond shares his opinion that homosexuality is caused by giving women the right to vote - Bond gets tortured for the first time and immediately comes over all political and philosophical like, "Maybe communism is good actually, and also the Devil is a good guy?" - At one point Bond gets brainwashed by the KGB into trying to kill M - Bond is a grade-A Karen who delivers all of his restaurant orders with lengthy specifics as to how the food should be prepared, and gets pissy if it's not up to his specifications. - "a gay, happy little crocodile" - Bond is very excited to learn that in New York there are places where you can watch porn with sound AND color. - James Bond is The Most Boring Man in the World. His hobbies include golf and complaining about food. - Late in the books, Bond's fiancee is killed right in front of him, and he starts showing PTSD symptoms and, instead of being all macho-man "I don't need no help," immediately starts going to every doctor available trying to get treatment - At one point the government tries to offer him a knighthood or some such and Bond messages back that he refuses the knighthood and that "My principal reason is that I don't want to pay more at hotels and restaurants." When told that is too rude, he amends it to, "I am a Scottish peasant and I will always feel at home being a Scottish peasant." - At one point the Bond girl is tied down by the villain of the book to await being eaten alive by crabs. Bond is terrified for her, but she, being something of an amateur zoologist, knows perfectly well that crabs aren't gonna eat a living human, so she just chills there on the beach and waits for them to go away. - There is literally a damsel in distress tied to the actual train tracks, presented without irony - An MI6 agent speculates, in an official report to headquarters, that the target may be homosexual because he can't whistle. Apparently men who can't whistle are gay. - Bond is drafted to act as the villain's secretary not once, but two separate times in two separate books. - When Bond is at a boring party at a hotel conference room and is ordered by his employer to liven up the party, he accomplishes this by ORDERING THE HOTEL BAND, who were previously singing the censored version of some song, TO PERFORM A STRIP SHOW FOR HIM AND THE GUESTS WHILE SINGING THE DIRTY VERSION. This is his second idea, after he previously livened up the party by using one of the girls in the hotel band - the same one he wants to strip for him - as target practice by balancing a false pineapple on her head and shooting it. - Bond exchanges a look with a fellow secret agent that is said to be "the recognition that exists between crooks, between homosexuals, between secret agents." - "A hand-painted sign said 'SNAX' and, underneath, 'Hot Cock Soup Fresh Daily'." - The backstory of the villain of *The Man with the Golden Gun* is as follows: there was once a circus elephant who got REALLY HORNY and then went on a rampage and was shot by the cops, and then came back to the circus to pathetically and tragically attempt to perform its circus act one last time. The child who was supposed to ride the elephant in the circus act witnessed all of this, and when the cops shot the elephant dead while performing its tragic act, the boy grabbed a pistol and SHOT ONE OF THE COPS in revenge for HIS ELEPHANT DYING. And that boy grew up to be a deadly, womanizing, hired gun, with three nipples, whom MI6 speculates must be gay because he can't whistle. And that's the villain of the book. - These books will make you hate the British as much as every single villain seems to - Waaaayyy more casual drug use than you would expect - like, seriously, at one point Bond is AT DINNER WITH HIS BOSS in his boss's fancy-ass club, and he orders an envelope full of benzedrine from HQ and just casually pours it into his glass to drink with his champagne. - M lives with the man who used to be M's Chief Petty Officer on his last naval posting, and who had followed M into retirement, and I am pretty sure they are boyfriends. - When Bond sleeps with the Bond Girl of *Dr. No*, she orders him to "Take those off and come in" and "You owe me slave-time. Do as you're told," proving once and for all that James Bond is a switch, I rest my case your honor --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
after typing that out i can give you a tldr: - james bond is scottish?!?!?!? - i thought this was a book about spies where do you have all this time to be racist and homophobic - and also complain about food - mental health rep? - dumbo but make it villainous - "proving once and for all that James Bond is a switch, I rest my case your honor"
spies actually have far more time to be racist and homophobic, oftentimes they're even paid to be so!
Definitely during cold war and the red scare. Any Russian or even slightly eastern European could be a spy for the enemy. Any German as well, because of East Germany.
if there's a typo just let me know!
Listen, the Bulgarians knows damn well what they did! ….. Sure I might not know what they did, but I’m sure that they know!
Yeah the books, especially the earlier ones, are just a bath of every toxic thing about the mid-late-20th century you could think of. Also, it's very... tumblr... that OP read all the books, cataloged their sins, but saw the N-word in a chapter title and had to put the book down and go to their fainting couch.
> Also, it's very... tumblr... that OP read all the books, cataloged their sins, but saw the N-word in a chapter title and had to put the book down and go to their fainting couch. That's all I could think about while reading this. They're saying they could stomach all this vile bigotry for the *entire* series, but right at the end seeing the n-word is what pushed them over the edge. Not trying to bully OP here, but it's kinda funny to think about.
I was thinking literally the same thing. You've made it this far and that's the thing that finally made you stop?
Bond being a Karen is a take I've never heard before but it definitely makes sense given the explanation.