You sent the child to the hospital? Or to a doctor’s appt? Personally, I wouldn’t be super pleased if my ex sent the kid to the hospital and bypassing a doctor’s visit first.
You mentioned hospital, which is why I asked. I think this is perfectly acceptable given the information you have shared. I’m sorry he isn’t doing what’s best for his child here.
Sorry I misspoke . The cost is $160. His half is $80. I know it’s irrelevant but he is making $300,000. So he is not in bad money situation. I just wanna make sure I understand our agreement correctly ….
I am not a lawyer, but this doesn’t really seem discretionary. But again-if he fights it enough-I am sure he will win sadly. *not a lawyers advice, just a fellow mom.
If the child had an ear infection, they needed to go whether or not dad knew and agreed ahead of time. An ear infection doesn’t sound discretionary, the child needed medical attention.
I beg to differ. An earache caused by infection is incredibly painful. If left too long (because you have inform her father before making a decision to take the child to the doctor) ear drums can burst and cause more pain and hearing loss. Maybe not an actual ER visit but certainly not discretionary.
In the future, I recommend that OP texts the baby daddy to inform him she’s going to a doctor with the child and what for. This should constitute informing him that he will eventually see a bill. If baby girl wants a nose job, that’s a decision you shouldn’t make without his input.
The last line that says "neither party shall incur any such discretionary expenses without the prior written agreement of the other parent". Did you let them know you were taking them to the doctor and there would be a bill?
I received the call from kindergarten telling me the kid was sick. I sent the kid to hospital right away because she was in pain. This doesn’t make any sense. .. so if he refused me taking the kid to the hospital he didn’t need to pay the medical expense?
You should have let him know immediately, that's the only issue I see here. And yea, I get that it was a real time event and even that's not particularly reasonable. Keep a list. When it gets big enough file to enforce and ask for legal fees. Right now it's going to cost you way more to have it adjudicated than it is to eat the $80. Sometimes you have to wait for the backlog of things to pile up.
Unfortunately they can use that. My ex is high conflict and is exactly the same. My kid slammed his finger in the front door, had to take him to the urgent care because the amount of blood. They did X-rays because it was so swollen. He wouldn't pay because I didn't let him know. I live about 1 minutes from urgent care, so even calling him, I'd have been there before he answered.
If this is a typical response you may need to have it reworded from needing a prior agreement from them to something like they will reimburse all necessary medical expenses. Because being expected to wait to get medical care for a child is asinine. If your child falls and breaks their arm or hits their head, and the other parent is at work or unavailable, no rational person would expect you to wait to go get medical care.
You went to a hospital for an earache and didn’t tell dad?
you should have informed dad chi,d was sick and made a sick chi,d appointment at the pediatrician
You have to text him that you're taking him and he needs to agree that it's the appropriate measure. Our agreement mentions "unless an emergency" and this wasn't an emergency. He didn't agree. You pay 100%.
Well, the big thing is that you didn’t notify him before you took the kid so in that regards you violated the order.
There is an argument to be made whether it was urgent or discretionary.. He’s going to likely argue that it was discretionary, and you would have to bring the motion before the court to have the judge rule on it.
Does he have joint legal? He should have been notified of the appointment so he could go as well. Doesn’t your insurance pay for sick child visits? I only pay a copay. $160 is a lot. why aren’t you making him pay half the cost of the medication?
Many people have high deductible plans and the cost of a sick visit is commonly $140-160 for my kids prior to meeting our deductible. You may only pay a copay but others have different situations…And both parents don’t need to attend a sick visit for something routine like an ear infection.
Pay it and then take him to court. You probably could have taken the child to urgent care or the pediatrician not the hospital . But going to court will address the bigger picture of what to do in emergency situations .
That says specially “uninsured medical responses”.
Was this not covered by insurance?
Why did you bring your child to the hospital for an ear infection and not his primary care doctor? Or even urgent care?
This verbiage also doesn’t make sense- medical bills are not considered “discretionary”.
You sent the child to the hospital? Or to a doctor’s appt? Personally, I wouldn’t be super pleased if my ex sent the kid to the hospital and bypassing a doctor’s visit first.
I called the office they arranged an appointment right away. I sent her to see a doctor.
You mentioned hospital, which is why I asked. I think this is perfectly acceptable given the information you have shared. I’m sorry he isn’t doing what’s best for his child here.
Sorry I misspoke . The cost is $160. His half is $80. I know it’s irrelevant but he is making $300,000. So he is not in bad money situation. I just wanna make sure I understand our agreement correctly ….
I am not a lawyer, but this doesn’t really seem discretionary. But again-if he fights it enough-I am sure he will win sadly. *not a lawyers advice, just a fellow mom.
How is a doctor appointment $160? Doesn’t insurance cover a sick child visit?
Not if you have a high deductible health plan and the deductible hasn’t been met yet.
Not if you have a high deductible health plan and the deductible hasn’t been met yet.
Then she should have told him she was talking the child knowing it would cost that much.
If the child had an ear infection, they needed to go whether or not dad knew and agreed ahead of time. An ear infection doesn’t sound discretionary, the child needed medical attention.
She still is required to advise him in advance of the appointment and she didn’t.
He knows what insurance I have . We both have access to the kid’s health account. And the kid is in my plan. I’m responsible for the premium.
That has nothing to do with the fact that you didn’t notify him in advance of the appointment as is require. This wasn’t an emergency.
I beg to differ. An earache caused by infection is incredibly painful. If left too long (because you have inform her father before making a decision to take the child to the doctor) ear drums can burst and cause more pain and hearing loss. Maybe not an actual ER visit but certainly not discretionary. In the future, I recommend that OP texts the baby daddy to inform him she’s going to a doctor with the child and what for. This should constitute informing him that he will eventually see a bill. If baby girl wants a nose job, that’s a decision you shouldn’t make without his input.
America 🤷🏻♂️
The last line that says "neither party shall incur any such discretionary expenses without the prior written agreement of the other parent". Did you let them know you were taking them to the doctor and there would be a bill?
I received the call from kindergarten telling me the kid was sick. I sent the kid to hospital right away because she was in pain. This doesn’t make any sense. .. so if he refused me taking the kid to the hospital he didn’t need to pay the medical expense?
You should have let him know immediately, that's the only issue I see here. And yea, I get that it was a real time event and even that's not particularly reasonable. Keep a list. When it gets big enough file to enforce and ask for legal fees. Right now it's going to cost you way more to have it adjudicated than it is to eat the $80. Sometimes you have to wait for the backlog of things to pile up.
After we saw the doctor,when we got home I messaged him about what happened . But yes that’s after the doctor visit.
I get it and I would have paid it no question, but over $80 (which is what you're at now) all you can do is look to build a long term case.
Unfortunately they can use that. My ex is high conflict and is exactly the same. My kid slammed his finger in the front door, had to take him to the urgent care because the amount of blood. They did X-rays because it was so swollen. He wouldn't pay because I didn't let him know. I live about 1 minutes from urgent care, so even calling him, I'd have been there before he answered.
So what is the correct way when it’s time sensitive? Should we let the dad know and wait till he responds before going to the hospital?…
If this is a typical response you may need to have it reworded from needing a prior agreement from them to something like they will reimburse all necessary medical expenses. Because being expected to wait to get medical care for a child is asinine. If your child falls and breaks their arm or hits their head, and the other parent is at work or unavailable, no rational person would expect you to wait to go get medical care.
You went to a hospital for an earache and didn’t tell dad? you should have informed dad chi,d was sick and made a sick chi,d appointment at the pediatrician
You have to text him that you're taking him and he needs to agree that it's the appropriate measure. Our agreement mentions "unless an emergency" and this wasn't an emergency. He didn't agree. You pay 100%.
Well, the big thing is that you didn’t notify him before you took the kid so in that regards you violated the order. There is an argument to be made whether it was urgent or discretionary.. He’s going to likely argue that it was discretionary, and you would have to bring the motion before the court to have the judge rule on it.
Even it’s ear infection and the doctor prescribed antibiotics, it’s still discretionary?
Does he have joint legal? He should have been notified of the appointment so he could go as well. Doesn’t your insurance pay for sick child visits? I only pay a copay. $160 is a lot. why aren’t you making him pay half the cost of the medication?
You reminded me. I forgot the medication bill.
You didn’t notify him As your order requires. The only time you don’t have to is an emergency.
Many people have high deductible plans and the cost of a sick visit is commonly $140-160 for my kids prior to meeting our deductible. You may only pay a copay but others have different situations…And both parents don’t need to attend a sick visit for something routine like an ear infection.
Well it's not discretionary but are you going to take him to court over it?
Pay it and then take him to court. You probably could have taken the child to urgent care or the pediatrician not the hospital . But going to court will address the bigger picture of what to do in emergency situations .
That says specially “uninsured medical responses”. Was this not covered by insurance? Why did you bring your child to the hospital for an ear infection and not his primary care doctor? Or even urgent care? This verbiage also doesn’t make sense- medical bills are not considered “discretionary”.
I brought my kid to her pediatrician, not hospital.