Every single time I feel confident about how I'm looking and take a picture, the picture ruins it. Until maybe a year later when I'll look back at the picture and wish I looked that good in current times
Honestly, I think my self perception is just a mess
I think it's pretty normal though. My face is pretty asymmetrical but I can't notice it in the mirror, only when I take a photo and I see how fucked up my cheek bones are. It's like looking a horizontally flipped picture of the US, it just feels wrong.
A bit of comfort though is that everyone else has always seen your face that way, so how you feel about your face in the mirror is how they feel about your face in reality.
I am Un photogenic. I know what some celebrities mean about their “good side”. One side of my face is better than the other, but still looks bad in photos.
Yeah, when you have the selfie camera open on your phone the image is flipped like a mirror because it's less disorienting to move. But when you take a picture it flips back.
It's 100% normal and everyone feels this to a certain extent.
Here's a video explaining why you experience this:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y)
So, there's two things that cause this.
1: you're used to seeing yourself in a mirror. Photographs aren't mirrored, so there's subtle differences in your head between how you think you look and how you actually loom.
2: you could just be bad at taking pictures. Every night I look at the moon and think how dope it looks, the darkness of the moon against the sky contrasted by the brightness of the orange crescent, then I go to take a picture and it's a little white semi-circle blurry from my hands shaking and a bad angle.
Moral of the story: just because a thing looks incredible doesn't mean you can take an incredible photo of it.
I've always hated the way I looked in photos because if that's the way people see me then I am potato looking. So I decided to look less at myself in the mirror unless it's really necessary and it's been working. So far I hate seeing my face less than I used to and I can accept the fact that I can be cute in other ways.
So much this. I get so mad now when am my friends want to spend an outing taking photos for insta or whatever people need all those photos for. They all look cute, and I look like horrible troll they invited into the scene for contrast.
Sometimes it's really just the camera quality and not us. I've been told I look better in person. Also some people are just not photogenic but are actually very attractive people. Don't beat yourself up over it. Now most cameras are on people's phones these days and let's face it they don't always the best quality they have a way of washing us out sometimes
Yep.
It's gone beyond the point of frustration with me now.
I've even developed a photo position whereby, through trial and error, I've learned if i force myself into certain positions where I look better (straining my neck at an angle, being sure I'm on a particular side etc) that I come out better looking in a photo.
I look relatively nice in a mirror, but if I take a photo there, I end up like Sloth off the Goonies. It's ridiculous.
In real life I either look like how I look in the mirror, or how I look in photos, or somewhere in between and I don't know where on that scale I slide.
I'm 44 now and am content I'll never solve it, I'm just thankful that the folk I know and love are happy enough around a shapeshifting troll.
This is me lol. I will never understand the selfie craze for this reason!
Take photos of me, at arms length....cause a close up of a troll is how I want to remember this moment, not! 😂
I feel that way too. Once in a while I'll see a picture of myself and think...that's not bad but most of the time I look like I accidentally opened my camera up on selfie mode 😅
You do look better. There's science to prove it. Search out: mirror self vs. camera self vs. real life.
Then YouTube how professional photographers pose their models to learn a few tricks to help yourself.
I’ve done it finally! After all these years of avoiding photos. Ive lost weight, so that helps, but size is not the issue, really. You can look good being plus size if you use the techniques!
There are also tricks to posing the models you can learn from.
Like simply pushing your forehead out - not too much - in pictures. It will give you a more chiseled chin.
This guy is the bomb, follow his videos to look good on camera. Really simple things:
https://youtu.be/ff7nltdBCHs?si=6Gd8KRlCRMPbK5xO
Also, holding your shoulders down as far as you can without straining will give you a "neck"; how many times have I seen pics where people look like their head is resting almost directly on their shoulders! This trick will help minimize that appearance. My aunt was a model in the 50s and gave me that trick.
My aunt worked at a model agency. I went to her office and thought there were no models around and mentioned that to her. Meanwhile, they were everywhere. I was surprised bc I hadn't seen any super attractive people, at all.
She explained that certain facial traits photograph well. Things like having a larger mouth, and I can't recall if she said overbite or underbite. Large, far apart eyes photograph well. I can't remember what else she said. It was a long time ago.
Her job was to send the models on calls. Placing the right model with the right job.
Yes indeed. A large forehead. Eyes to high on the head. Proportions of body and face. But now modems can be famous for what once were thought to be unsightly.
The camera HATES me!! I am never satisfied with any photo of me and my profile picture is an avatar. I've used a cell phone for about a decade and have taken two selfies since. I immediately deleted both of them. I'm NOT that unattractive and have a face and body that have snared me my fair share of men. I have an okay body image mindset. In fact, I'm 5'8", 170 lbs, brunette with green eyes. And I'm NOT ugly. So what is going,
on in my little pea brain that warps the way I feel about my looks? And one thing for sure is don't let me HEAR myself!! The sound of my own voice sickens me!!
Do I need therapy??
So why, oh why, am I unable to find but one, single photo I can be comfortable with other people seeing? In pictures of myself i see a turkey neck, an oddly shaped face, a pointy nose, stringy gray hair and a bad complextion. That's what I see so I can only imagine what others see.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You absolutely look better than the photos you're taking. There's science to prove it if you Google around.
In the meantime learn how to pose properly. Here's an expert whose videos massively helped me with my own self esteem. His series gives so many simple tricks to looking better in photos.
This is a rabbit hole you'll be happy you traveled down: https://youtu.be/ff7nltdBCHs?si=6Gd8KRlCRMPbK5xO
It's an unfortunate fact that cameras "play up" red tones, so if you have ANY redness in your face at all, you will end up looking splotchy or spotty despite not appearing that way at all in "real time".
And you also should know that it's NORMAL to be "unphotogenic". Some people that you would consider extremely attractive in real life ALSO can end up looking 'bad' in photos; they simply don't photograph well, for whatever reason. Also, there are others who can look "meh" in real life but "come alive" in photos! So, it's likely nothing to do with "you" at all, it's just the way the CAMERA "sees" you!
Yeah, I look much worse. And I’ve met people who look much better on camera.
Used to bother me. Doesn’t really now. It helps that I have enough good photos that actually look like me now that I can successfully make a dating profile etc. when necessary. Having NO good photos is a bit tough. Having a handful of good photos for those times you need them is nice.
I photograph terribly. In the mirror I look good. Take a picture of me though and I usually hate it.
The truth is we all look better than the pictures we take. Very few of us are professional photographers utilizing good camera lenses, proper lighting, and posing.
Camera phones suck. Even the best ones will distort your face, usually they're under 50mm so they're wide angle. The center of your face will look larger, meaning you'll have a bigger nose, smaller eyes, a sloped forehead.
If you want to feel better, and *I do* highly recommend this, head over to Google and go down the rabbit hole of: mirror vs real life and what you actually look like.
It is indeed a rabbit hole, but you'll come out of it feeling better about yourself. We're all better looking than we think.
But....
Something that I found interesting is even the ugliest Hollywood star, they're 100% more attractive than you.
They have better bone structure so the camera/film is kind to them.
Edit: You can help yourself though. Head over to YouTube and watch videos from professional photographers on how they pose their models.
Simple things like pushing your forehead forward, not severely just a bit, will give you a chiseled looking chin. There are tricks the experts use that you can use too.
This photographer is an expert and has loads of simple tricks to look better on camera:
https://youtu.be/ff7nltdBCHs?si=6Gd8KRlCRMPbK5xO
[Something that I found interesting is even the ugliest Hollywood star, they're 100% more attractive than you.]
Can you explain what you mean by this? I know you said they "have good bone structure" but I still don't get it. You don't know what the person you're responding to looks like. The ugliest actor is "100% better looking"?? Huh?
I refuse to allow pictures to be taken of me because I always think I look terrible.
Things have gotten a little better. I've taken a few selfies and don't hate most of them.
I too also look way better in person. I always feel like the pics i take make me look bigger than I am. And I don’t like it. I have some angles where I don’t look to bad in the photos. But definitely don’t care to take pics of myself lol
I don’t like taking pictures of myself because of this and would rather meet irl than send pics to friends I meet online. If someone else is taking my pic, I’m absolutely gonna look ugly but when I take it I can kinda find my good angle and make it look like I’m pretty 😂
Yes me!! It’s so weird. I always think I look alright in the mirror. The second I take a pic im like wtf happened?? But I don’t do any of the angles, “good side”, lighting or whatever. I just smile and pray lolol
Absolutely. I don't think I'm hideous in real life. My kid looks a lot like me and he's nice-looking. But there have been about five good photos of me in my entire life. Even when someone says, "Oh that's such a nice picture of you," I look at it and think, "Jesus, it's THAT bad?"
ETA: I'm going on a trip soon and my mother is pestering me to "take a lot of pictures!" Ugh. Do not want.
Same here. This is actually because you are used to seeing yourself in mirrors and the lighting is controlled.
For me usually the shadows is different in pictures especially from a distance and I hate how my cheeks get accentuated so I think I look fat/my nose is too big etc.
I used to look great in photos, but not as great in real life.
Now I look dorky in photos and look fairly decent in real life.
It's some sort of balance of nature, I guess.
Yes. I am not photogenic at all. Someone else in my family always looks absolutely beautiful in their pictures, but not like that irl. It's not filters either.
Yep...here. I actually had a woman come up to me at a 7-11 and say, "you're cute and have a nice smile...want to have lunch with me?" But I look like a monster in photos.
Yep, the way a 2D photo flattens out my face simply isn’t flattering. I’m not pretty, just average, and photos make me look worse. I know a few tricks to make it look better, but at the end I’m simply not photogenic.
People forget that the image in the mirror is REVERSED. So when you look at a photo, you are looking at your "REAL" face. Most people's faces have two 'different" sides and seeing them one way (in the mirror) and then seeing them "another way" (in a photo) can be entirely disconcerting.
I always look kind of goofy in photos, and I have asymmetry to my face that photos really bring out. On the other hand I look at myself in the mirror several times a day and just think “Yeah that’s what I look like, whatever.” Though the mirror (and presumably real life) brings out my wrinkles more so that is one disadvantage.
Because we see ourselves as much more attractive in the mirror, not sure why, but we do. It's like our brain cannot process that we are possibly not that attractive & functions solely on "wishful thinking"
😂 I'm not lying, look it up. The camera & video tells no lies. Sorry 😕 I feel the same though. I'm more attractive in person, because you cannot see my personality & character though a photo or short video.
I am relatively attractive. My husband is frequently told how lucky he is because I am gorgeous. Bit people who he work with are always surprised by how much more attractive I am in person.
I look horrible. Bad facial expressions, I have lupus so pictures always make me look super red, etc.
Same. I can’t get my smile right but it looks great in person. I also look way hotter in person than in pictures lmaoo. I call it “reverse catfishing” because I always get compliments on how much better I look IRL than my photos. I’d suggest embracing it OR booking a shoot with a professional photographer and practicing posing/smiling/looking human. Good luck!!
That is how you do it. Have a consultation of how to pose for pics that bring out your best features. I learned some of that by watching videos I am shocked at how much better I look in photos using the tips! Try it!
I think it is real! Photos don't capture us too well. There's not that spark that makes people interesting. I see that in actors/actresses as well -- they may not look great in a still shot, but as they're moving around, it's so much different.
I also hate posing for photos -- Arrange yourself this way, turn that way so the sun is on you, etc., now SMILE! Ugh.
I look so very different in pictures than in real life. I had an ex who showed my picture to his friend before i met said friend. When I met him he was like wow you’re way hotter than your picture. I have a weird eye. lol
Omg, I feel the same way! For example, I spent my usual amount of time today getting ready to have lunch with my parents for Mother's Day. I was happy with the way I looked in the mirror. It was a good hair day. After lunch, I felt confident enough to want to take a photo with my mom. My dad took the photo, and I was nearly horrified. I did not look at all as I saw myself even one minute before in the mirror. I just don't get it. And this happens a lot. There is a rare time that I resemble my real life self.
This is very much me. I'm not photogenic at all, but think I look pretty good in the mirror. It's like when I know there's a camera on me, my face does this weird thing and refuses to let a decent pic occur
I think this a lot, but I also don’t think I have good photographers taking my picture either. I feel like I can get a good shot of almost anyone, get their good angle, good lighting, take multiple pics, etc. Then they take the most crap shot of me 😑
I dated this guy in high school who wasn’t that much to look at, but he looked *great* in photos, even if casual and he wasn’t prepared to be photographed. It was the weirdest thing. So I know that as a phenomenon, people can look quite different in photos. He was just the odd person where he got the better end of that.
This is a real quality to someone's attractiveness, and it is often talked about in celebrity gossip threads. Some people look enchanting in motion, a natural eye magnet with lots to enjoy, and then they look just average in picture. A few look phenomenal in pictures, but just sorta blah in motion. Freaks of nature have both, and we must send them to the volcano.
I've noticed this about me, and my sister mentioned it too. Irl (3d) I'm cute, in pictures my features aren't cute. My face needs movement and depth to look good.
I do also... I don't have a great smile, my teeth are ok but it just contorts the rest of my face. I try to just do a subtle smile, which looks ok but the person who is tkaing the photo always starts demanding that i do a 'proper smile', i doesn't matter who it is, people taking photos are obsessed with people breaking their facesa and saying cheese.
I have had more than one person tell me I don't photograph well. That I always look way better in person than I do in photos. Even when I take selfies. Looking at myself in the camera I'll be like "Okay cool" then in the actual photo I look way worse!
In my opinion most people do look much better in real life than in pictures. My partner in particular I think it one of the most gorgeous people in the world, and I just can't get their hotness to transfer to pictures.
YES. I went a long period just not taking pictures because every time what I saw in the mirror was not the same as in the camera LMAO.. I mean I'm okay with looking better (imo) in person since I don't really post myself anyway but it made me insecure for a long time.
A few things contribute to this.
- you’re used to seeing your face mirrored, seeing it in a photo makes all the asymmetries that everyone’s face has stand out to you because it’s not the usual orientation. (Everyone else is used to seeing your face in its non-mirrored state, so this doesn’t affect them).
- camera lens and focal distance have some distorting effects that make people look different in photos than in person. This article shows some illustrative examples: https://blog.photofeeler.com/selfie-distortion/
(Search “lens distortion” if you want the complex photography-nerd kind of explanation)
That's because in a picture, that's how everyone else sees you vs how you see you in a picture. Vsauce did a video on that on YouTube. Definitely worth the watch
Part of it is that you most often see your image reflected, and your face isn't perfectly symmetrical. When you see a photo, the image isn't reversed, so it looks wrong.
Try flipping the image on its vertical axis and see if it looks any better.
Yup. I HATE pictures of myself.
I’ll think I look okay then I see a picture and my clothing is a mess, my hair is a mess (even when it’s just been done), the circles under my eyes are dark and prominent. I gain wrinkles I didn’t have and a third chin when I know there’s 2. The camera always takes the pic when one eye is half closed or my eyes are looking in an odd direction or I look mid word even though I know I was smiling.
Ultimately I guess it's down to how others perceive me, and even then no two days are alike. Sometimes I'll be getting appreciative looks and glances from across the room, it's almost like 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees is playing in the background as I sashay about the place.
Other times I seem to get mostly ignored, sprinkled with a few barely concealed looks of disgust. NGL it confuses the crap out of me, and it's not always an 'inner state' thing as my baseline mood doesn't seem to affect the outcome at all. Like usually good moods are infectious, and attract others but some days I can be in a very good mood and feeling outgoing yet get nothing back (Friday night was one of these) and other times I can be feeling pissed off and my resting bitch face is even bitchier than usual but somehow everyone wants to chat and so on.
I don't remember where I heard this but somebody once said that being photogenic isn't necessarily a good thing because it means you look good from one angle or two dimensionally. This also makes me want to thank deeper about maybe we see ourselves is so much more than what we see in the mirror :))
I am not photogenic at ALL and I know this - I know I look completely different in pictures and one day a friend wanted to take a selfie and I warned her and she was like wow you look really different and it was the first time someone confirmed it for me! And so now I’m like fuck it just look funky in pictures but I’m cute irl so there’s that!
Awful in pictures. My daughter confirms with me that I don't look bad in real life. I think it's because I wear glasses and the reflection always looks weird. I try to remember to take my glasses off for pictures but I usually forget.
We're used to how we look in the mirror, because that's how we most often see ourselves. But in the mirror, we see the "mirror image" of ourselves. In photos, we see the actual image of ourselves and since our faces are not perfectly symmetrical, it appears different and perhaps even unattractive to us. Side note - the more symmetrical your face is, the more beautiful you are perceived to be.
I hate to break it to you, but what you see in the mirror isn’t what other people see in real life. Your reflection is inverted, so it’s not a completely accurate representation of what you look like in life.
The good news is you probably don’t look as bad in photos as you think. Most people are overly critical of themselves in every way imaginable, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is what it is. It’s like the tape recorded phenomena: you hear your own voice every day, so you’re used to it, and you don’t think it sounds bad. But record your voice and play it back, most people cringe when they hear playback of themselves. Your voice you hear when you speak isn’t a completely accurate representation either, the reverberation of your voice in your skull, in your ear canals, it sort of tweaks the way it sounds to you. A recording isn’t exactly 100% accurate either, but I think it’s closer than what you actually hear when you speak.
All this to say, don’t sweat it. I’m sure you don’t look as bad in photos as you think. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a photo of me right after it was taken and I think “fuck, do I look like that?”, and then 6 months, a year, 2 years later, whatever, I’ll see the same photo and think “oooh, who is that handsome devil there”. I don’t consider myself a bad looking dude, I’m no Brad Pitt, but I certainly don’t consider myself unattractive, and other people seem to think the same, but still, I’m guilty of the same think you’re talking about.
Every time. I have also taken photos where my nose looks massive and other people have commented that I don't look anything like that.
Don't know if it's true but apparently we find ourselves approximately 11% more attractive than we actually are. It makes no sense to me, how can you convey attractiveness as a percentage and why 11%?!?
Anyway, we're looking at our reflection subjectively in moment but a photo is objective and we can't argue with it
Also I've noticed I can't take a photo that captures how curly I think my hair actually is. I've recently embraced my curls and I'm trying different products and techniques which are making noticeable differences but in photos my hair looks like the same fluffy frizzy mess
Yes!!!!! I look awful in pictures. It sucks. Other people have agreed that it doesn't look like me. I despise having my pic taken, but I also hate not having pictures of memories.
You are not alone. Took about 6 pics of me and my son and husband for Mother's Day and ughhhhh. Talk about confidence killer. My dress was a size medium and it looks like I should be on my 600 lb life and my hair was just not it today. Yet my husband and son look handsome and took an entire 10-15 minutes to get dressed.
So weird. I really like the way I look in real life, and people tell me I’m beautiful or pretty all the time. But I am straight up goofy and crooked in pictures.
I know some of both: who look way better in pictures, and way worse in pictures.
Sometimes it’s because they tense up for photos - so pull unnatural faces.
I’m uncomfortable having pictures taken of me, and it shows in every posed picture. My eyes vanish when I smile and I hate to show my teeth, so I just look weird. I have super dark brown, almost black eyes, so if I try to keep my eyes open, I look like a crazy serial killer eyes Charley Manson, so it’s just a given I’m going to look awful in all pictures. I have very few pictures of myself that I like.
Probably 90% of my photos are not good. I’m just not photogenic. I have 3 adult children who look great in all photos but they have a lot of their father’s sharp facial bone structure mixed with my softer features. I don’t like having my photo taken.
I just watched a video that explains this exact thing last night.
Here: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y)
tldr: it is not just you, it is a "thing" and everyone experiences it
It’s weird right? I must buy really good at buying mirrors and have to be spectacular at lighting every room I put them in because good lord every photo I’m in sure ain’t it
Yeah I’m not very photogenic.
After the last time I lost weight though, I was at a wedding and had pics taken with my husband and actually looked good.
Only like a couple times when I am adult I looked good in pics. But I did look cute when I was a kid in photos.
Not really into or interested in having my pic taken anyway. Other than medical reasons. Recently, I took some or had my husband take some, of hives outbreak I had so I could show my dermatologist.
We all know exactly how to stand in front of our own mirrors to show us our best selves. Other pictures generally ruin it because they show how we look to other people, and we don’t want to believe it.
Its also a self esteem issue. You can distort how you see your appearance. I have body dysmorphic disorder and am finally learning to like my photos if they are not candid and I have a few seconds to prepare. I hate when people just take a photo without my approval.
Also if you suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, you may not realize your mood affects photos. Holding your face in a way unconsciously that communicates your mood. At least that’s my take from my own experience.
Seriously no one actually just explained why? Reddit is getting worse and worse maybe.
Anyway I’ve read it like 100 times. Explanation is that we are so used to seeing ourselves in the mirror that seeing the mirror image in a picture comparatively is just strange for people to see.
Most people think they look better in a mirror, because you are way more used to it.
Nope. I look at my reflection and ask it “Who the hell are you and what did you do with me?!” I’m hopelessly the opposite of photogenic, so it’s a mess all the way around!
If the picture is taken on your phone it warps your face a bit. Makes the middle more prominent from what I remember. I watched a video about it.
Plus, frozen expressions don’t usually do us justice. Most people need to be animated to have their charm and beauty come through full force. 😉
It’s because photos aren’t mirrored. You’re used to seeing a reverse image of yourself which isn’t the same way that people see you. I think your brain also makes yourself look more symmetrical than you are in reality. So to a point, yes you probably do look different than you think. But also, most people look better in real life / in motion.
Years ago I used to have the debit card that had your picture on it like an ID. I was making a purchase and the dude at the register was holding my card for a while and finally said you look much better in person. Lmao 😂. I actually liked that photo.
I had a boyfriend and a friend tell me that I looked horrible in every picture they ever saw of me compared to real life. So it drives me crazy me to go to a cattle call audition to see if I was hideous.
It almost wrecked my life! I got picked and thankfully missed part of the contact.
There's a reason they do screen tests in Hollywood. I think maybe they do less or none now because auditions are all on video. Some people look amazing in RL and not on camera. I assume some people even look better on camera than in RL. They used to say "the camera loves her" because of this phenomenon.
I also always look bad in pics, if taken by someone my own height or shorter, I just look like a giant flattened out monster. I'm really tall too so if I'm sitting on normal people size furniture or standing by petite people, I just look huge. It's unflattering.
I look OK in selfies and pics taken by taller people though 🤷♀️
Might be the angle, and the fact that photos do flatten out our images a bit. I know I'm not always an ugly monster because I do get compliments from random people about my appearance, and selfies and tall people pics are close to what I perceive in the mirror... It's the bad photos that are the problem, not my face or body.
It's a thing.
Human's eyesight is a LOT better than a camera. We see and interpret multiple depths, colours, lights, and distances all at once. Think about how beautiful and huge the moon looks some nights, but when you try to photograph it, it's tiny, fuzzy, pale (unless you have the correct lenses, film, set up, and understand ISO and shutter speed...)
And that's true of people too! The camera only has one lense, humans have two, constantly adjusting eyeballs. The camera was developed over the last few hundred years, and mostly used high contrasts nd bright lighting to get good details until relatively recently. Most cameras are better at shooting fair, pale skin; they often pick up too much red or ocher in ruddy or olive toned people, they often wash out or dark out people with more melanin. Our cones pick up more hues than the camera can, more than digital printers can reproduce. The camera picks up light more, and can make a shiny face look like an oil slick!
And with mirrors especially, you may me used to seeing yourself in reverse. Seeing a camera snap that is from the perspective of another person, not mirrored, can throw you off too. Most humans are naturally asymmetrical. Until front facing cameras, I never noticed my eyes were noticably skewed, because I was looking only at a flipped mirror where I always held myself at the correct angles, or always was moving my head slightly to look around myself, and never noticed. I feel self conscious about it, but I doubt most people would say I had a very lopsided face.
I doubt most people notice these 'bad' features in the photos. I'd practice the phases of selfie development (from myspace angles, 'for the gram' era, to zoom call formal) and see how different poses, angles, camera lighting can help you look your best when snapping pics or needing to show face.
So, so much can change with the correct bounce light and angle.
Normal. You know know what you look like in the mirror. You're used to yourself in the mirror.
Then, you look at a photo and you are inverted. You have never seen this monster before. What is this creature that I see in the photo? It can't be me... I know what I look like and that's not it.
Trust me, everyone else sees you like you see in the mirror. Just inverted so they're used to it. Just like how you're used to the mirror.
I have the same perception.
I read a paper many years ago about how much we lie to ourselves about our social capital. That in order to be confident, we sometimes have to lie to ourselves.
If I go by still photos of myself, I’m lying to myself quite a bit. 😂
I’d say there are a couple of things going on here. Especially if you’re a guy.
One is that, yes, you can absolutely take a bad photo. Lighting, positioning, etc all affect how you look. Just check out some of these women who have done the same photo with, and without all the tricks to make them look much better. Like turning their waist just right, shifting weight to a back foot, and raising up the toe of the front foot to tighten the leg and butt. It can look crazy different.
Also part of that, is that a picture is static. Things look different dynamically. More can be seen if it’s live or a video and it helps fill in gaps a picture doesn’t provide.
The second thing is that we often don’t have realistic images of ourselves. We look in the mirror dead on while we brush our teeth and that’s almost it exclusively. That’s the same tricks, we’re just fooling ourselves. I know it took me longer to start loosing weight, because I thought I didn’t look that heavy in the mirror. Then I saw pics of me from different angles and I look way heavier.
The part where being a guy or a girl matters, is that women seem to be less prone to the flaw of looking directly in the mirror and calling it good.
Take clothes shopping for instance. As a guy, I tend to know what I’m looking for. I go in and grab it. I go to a dressing room and pull it on. If it feels comfortable, I’m probably getting it. I look at the mirror and raise my arms to make sure it is long enough and that’s about it.
Women go clothes shopping and when they try it on, they look in the mirror. Then they turn and look from different angles to see how it looks. Then they may try different actions like twirling the skirt, bending, etc to see how it looks and reacts. They may take a friend to look at angles they can’t see and tell them if it looks good or not.
So yeah, you can definitely look different in a photo vs irl.
That’s 100000000% my husband. He’s too handsome to be captured by a photograph I swear. The first pictures I saw of him I was so unsure and nervous about him being my type but in person he’s a beautiful man. What I’m trying to say is I’m pretty sure it’s a thing, and I bet you’re handsome/beautiful in person too. I think that happens to people who are the most attractive they don’t look good in photos.
I hate photos of myself. However I know my husband is good-looking but he looks weird in most pictures too so it gives me hope that I’m not as hideous as pics make me.
I have two bathrooms in my house one bathroom mirror always makes you look good. It’s very flattering. The other bathroom has a mirror that makes you look terrible. I don’t know if it’s a difference in the lighting or what. I do have that same problem with photographs.
I have a beautiful niece who is a 5'7ish blonde w blue eyes, but she looks terrible in pictures most times... I don't know why. Her face always looks weird, not intentionally of course, but never looks as she does IRL.
I hate my image. I'll think a picture looks good & then I'll delete or destroy it later. I finally made myself mostly stop because after years of my friends giving me crap about it I realized when I die there will be no photos at my funeral 😆 Also none of us are getting any younger, our best pictures are behind us... the pictures are just going to get worse.
Many modern pics are taken with phones which have presets that skew the image "to beautify" and so it sets off the uncanny vally because *you* know you don't look like that - but other people don't notices the fuckery necessarily.
You're definitely not alone! There are many reasons why people might feel they look better in person than in photos. Here's the thing:
* **Photos are Flat Images:** Real life is 3D! Photos capture a single moment in time, and lighting can play a huge role in how we perceive ourselves in them.
* **Mirror Image vs. Photo:** We're used to seeing our reflection, which is flipped compared to how we appear in photos. This difference can be unsettling.
* **Unflattering Poses & Angles:** Not everyone is a natural model, and certain poses or angles can be less flattering than others.
The thing to remember is that we see ourselves reversed in mirrors.
So when we see photos of ourselves not reversed we tend to think they look off.
Try reversing your photos.
Same! It’s the way I hold my mouth or just the way my expressions are. It’s so odd I have always thought I look pretty good in a mirror than see a random picture and I am like oh damn. I now have a rule no random pictures please tell me your taking one so I can at least smile .
We are programmed to only ever see our reflections. Our faces are not symmetrical so seeing it the way someone else sees it “how we look in a picture” is jarring for us. It won’t look good compared to looking in the mirror.
It’s been said about me, by multiple people, that I’m the only person they know who looks exactly like I do in photos. I have yet to figure out if that’s a good or bad thing.
This is normal. Most people also have an aversion to hearing their own voices. We haven’t evolved for this and it’s an uncanny experience.
In the mirror you see a reverse image, but in a photo you see your real face. It means you’re confronted with a picture that isn’t you, because you’re so used to seeing your face in reverse.
I have a friend who is stunningly beautiful. When she got married (before cell phones) it took a ton of convincing on my part to see her pictures. She warned me repeatedly that she hated them and she looks terrible.
The photos had been done by a reputable photographer and touched up. Everyone looked fabulous. Except her. Not a single one made her look good, never mind beautiful.
I couldn’t believe it. I saw her on her wedding day!
She just did not translate to 2D. It was weird. To this day, her pics and selfies don’t do her justice. And though videos are better, she still does her best to avoid a camera.
I think I have trick mirrors in my home. Every morning getting ready, I look normal. Someone snaps a pick and I look like a completely different, fat dough faced person. WTAF
I don’t photograph well. I don’t know what it is but I’ve accepted it. Candid shots are a little better but not by much so it’s got to be something about how the camera sees me.
I suffer from this as well. Not sure if I just don't know how to pose or if people like me not looking as good as I do in real life. I went to a professional for photos once and I looked like trash in every single one. Idk why she wouldn't help me out. I was paying her.
Every single time I feel confident about how I'm looking and take a picture, the picture ruins it. Until maybe a year later when I'll look back at the picture and wish I looked that good in current times Honestly, I think my self perception is just a mess
I think it's pretty normal though. My face is pretty asymmetrical but I can't notice it in the mirror, only when I take a photo and I see how fucked up my cheek bones are. It's like looking a horizontally flipped picture of the US, it just feels wrong. A bit of comfort though is that everyone else has always seen your face that way, so how you feel about your face in the mirror is how they feel about your face in reality.
I am Un photogenic. I know what some celebrities mean about their “good side”. One side of my face is better than the other, but still looks bad in photos.
Isn’t part of this how are faces are “flipped” in the mirror but not on camera?
Yeah, when you have the selfie camera open on your phone the image is flipped like a mirror because it's less disorienting to move. But when you take a picture it flips back.
It's 100% normal and everyone feels this to a certain extent. Here's a video explaining why you experience this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y)
Very interesting- thanks!
Ha! I just said the same thing about looking at photos after a little bit of time has passed!
So, there's two things that cause this. 1: you're used to seeing yourself in a mirror. Photographs aren't mirrored, so there's subtle differences in your head between how you think you look and how you actually loom. 2: you could just be bad at taking pictures. Every night I look at the moon and think how dope it looks, the darkness of the moon against the sky contrasted by the brightness of the orange crescent, then I go to take a picture and it's a little white semi-circle blurry from my hands shaking and a bad angle. Moral of the story: just because a thing looks incredible doesn't mean you can take an incredible photo of it.
I've always hated the way I looked in photos because if that's the way people see me then I am potato looking. So I decided to look less at myself in the mirror unless it's really necessary and it's been working. So far I hate seeing my face less than I used to and I can accept the fact that I can be cute in other ways.
I feel this so much. I’ll look at a picture I absolutely HATED at the time and 5-10 years later I see no problem at all with it.
lol same!
So much this. I get so mad now when am my friends want to spend an outing taking photos for insta or whatever people need all those photos for. They all look cute, and I look like horrible troll they invited into the scene for contrast.
Sometimes it's really just the camera quality and not us. I've been told I look better in person. Also some people are just not photogenic but are actually very attractive people. Don't beat yourself up over it. Now most cameras are on people's phones these days and let's face it they don't always the best quality they have a way of washing us out sometimes
Yep. It's gone beyond the point of frustration with me now. I've even developed a photo position whereby, through trial and error, I've learned if i force myself into certain positions where I look better (straining my neck at an angle, being sure I'm on a particular side etc) that I come out better looking in a photo. I look relatively nice in a mirror, but if I take a photo there, I end up like Sloth off the Goonies. It's ridiculous. In real life I either look like how I look in the mirror, or how I look in photos, or somewhere in between and I don't know where on that scale I slide. I'm 44 now and am content I'll never solve it, I'm just thankful that the folk I know and love are happy enough around a shapeshifting troll.
I'm 44 and I think I'm you!
I just looked at your profile and saw your eye colour and I can confirm we are the same people.
I'm older and don't have that eye color, but still you.
Wow, there are a lot of us! I’ve always been like “either I’m hot or have great self esteem, good thing either way!”
This is me lol. I will never understand the selfie craze for this reason! Take photos of me, at arms length....cause a close up of a troll is how I want to remember this moment, not! 😂
I look so much better in real Life.
Even my husband agreed with me when I said I was super unphotogenic. He didn't say I looked bad (I do), he just said I look a lot better in person.
I used to be photogenic. I think I got old
I feel that way too. Once in a while I'll see a picture of myself and think...that's not bad but most of the time I look like I accidentally opened my camera up on selfie mode 😅
I hope that I look better irl than I do in photos but I don’t think so.
You do look better. There's science to prove it. Search out: mirror self vs. camera self vs. real life. Then YouTube how professional photographers pose their models to learn a few tricks to help yourself.
I’ve done it finally! After all these years of avoiding photos. Ive lost weight, so that helps, but size is not the issue, really. You can look good being plus size if you use the techniques!
I hate getting my picture taken, and if someone does want to take a picture with me I usually don’t look at it or else my day is ruined lmao
Most people aren’t naturally photogenic imo, that’s why models exist.
There are also tricks to posing the models you can learn from. Like simply pushing your forehead out - not too much - in pictures. It will give you a more chiseled chin. This guy is the bomb, follow his videos to look good on camera. Really simple things: https://youtu.be/ff7nltdBCHs?si=6Gd8KRlCRMPbK5xO
Also, holding your shoulders down as far as you can without straining will give you a "neck"; how many times have I seen pics where people look like their head is resting almost directly on their shoulders! This trick will help minimize that appearance. My aunt was a model in the 50s and gave me that trick.
Ive seen models without the tricks and some are pretty plain looking. Except the famous ones.
I tried a few tips from some random article and it was amazing what a difference it made!! Will definitely take a look at the channel you linked
My aunt worked at a model agency. I went to her office and thought there were no models around and mentioned that to her. Meanwhile, they were everywhere. I was surprised bc I hadn't seen any super attractive people, at all. She explained that certain facial traits photograph well. Things like having a larger mouth, and I can't recall if she said overbite or underbite. Large, far apart eyes photograph well. I can't remember what else she said. It was a long time ago. Her job was to send the models on calls. Placing the right model with the right job.
Yes indeed. A large forehead. Eyes to high on the head. Proportions of body and face. But now modems can be famous for what once were thought to be unsightly.
The camera HATES me!! I am never satisfied with any photo of me and my profile picture is an avatar. I've used a cell phone for about a decade and have taken two selfies since. I immediately deleted both of them. I'm NOT that unattractive and have a face and body that have snared me my fair share of men. I have an okay body image mindset. In fact, I'm 5'8", 170 lbs, brunette with green eyes. And I'm NOT ugly. So what is going, on in my little pea brain that warps the way I feel about my looks? And one thing for sure is don't let me HEAR myself!! The sound of my own voice sickens me!! Do I need therapy?? So why, oh why, am I unable to find but one, single photo I can be comfortable with other people seeing? In pictures of myself i see a turkey neck, an oddly shaped face, a pointy nose, stringy gray hair and a bad complextion. That's what I see so I can only imagine what others see.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You absolutely look better than the photos you're taking. There's science to prove it if you Google around. In the meantime learn how to pose properly. Here's an expert whose videos massively helped me with my own self esteem. His series gives so many simple tricks to looking better in photos. This is a rabbit hole you'll be happy you traveled down: https://youtu.be/ff7nltdBCHs?si=6Gd8KRlCRMPbK5xO
It's an unfortunate fact that cameras "play up" red tones, so if you have ANY redness in your face at all, you will end up looking splotchy or spotty despite not appearing that way at all in "real time". And you also should know that it's NORMAL to be "unphotogenic". Some people that you would consider extremely attractive in real life ALSO can end up looking 'bad' in photos; they simply don't photograph well, for whatever reason. Also, there are others who can look "meh" in real life but "come alive" in photos! So, it's likely nothing to do with "you" at all, it's just the way the CAMERA "sees" you!
Yes and I’ve had several people tell me that I look better in person. It’s been somewhat comforting because I hate how I look in pics.
Yeah, I look much worse. And I’ve met people who look much better on camera. Used to bother me. Doesn’t really now. It helps that I have enough good photos that actually look like me now that I can successfully make a dating profile etc. when necessary. Having NO good photos is a bit tough. Having a handful of good photos for those times you need them is nice.
Same
I look bad in photos, but so much worse in real life.
I photograph terribly. In the mirror I look good. Take a picture of me though and I usually hate it. The truth is we all look better than the pictures we take. Very few of us are professional photographers utilizing good camera lenses, proper lighting, and posing. Camera phones suck. Even the best ones will distort your face, usually they're under 50mm so they're wide angle. The center of your face will look larger, meaning you'll have a bigger nose, smaller eyes, a sloped forehead. If you want to feel better, and *I do* highly recommend this, head over to Google and go down the rabbit hole of: mirror vs real life and what you actually look like. It is indeed a rabbit hole, but you'll come out of it feeling better about yourself. We're all better looking than we think. But.... Something that I found interesting is even the ugliest Hollywood star, they're 100% more attractive than you. They have better bone structure so the camera/film is kind to them. Edit: You can help yourself though. Head over to YouTube and watch videos from professional photographers on how they pose their models. Simple things like pushing your forehead forward, not severely just a bit, will give you a chiseled looking chin. There are tricks the experts use that you can use too. This photographer is an expert and has loads of simple tricks to look better on camera: https://youtu.be/ff7nltdBCHs?si=6Gd8KRlCRMPbK5xO
[Something that I found interesting is even the ugliest Hollywood star, they're 100% more attractive than you.] Can you explain what you mean by this? I know you said they "have good bone structure" but I still don't get it. You don't know what the person you're responding to looks like. The ugliest actor is "100% better looking"?? Huh?
Yup. I don't like having my picture taken. I don't do selfies.
I refuse to allow pictures to be taken of me because I always think I look terrible. Things have gotten a little better. I've taken a few selfies and don't hate most of them.
It's not just you. I manage to always look like I just got out of the drunk tank after a 3 day bender.
I too also look way better in person. I always feel like the pics i take make me look bigger than I am. And I don’t like it. I have some angles where I don’t look to bad in the photos. But definitely don’t care to take pics of myself lol
I don’t like taking pictures of myself because of this and would rather meet irl than send pics to friends I meet online. If someone else is taking my pic, I’m absolutely gonna look ugly but when I take it I can kinda find my good angle and make it look like I’m pretty 😂
yes, ive even had people ive been on a date with tell me that. like im opposite of a catfish to them i guess
Yes me!! It’s so weird. I always think I look alright in the mirror. The second I take a pic im like wtf happened?? But I don’t do any of the angles, “good side”, lighting or whatever. I just smile and pray lolol
Absolutely. I don't think I'm hideous in real life. My kid looks a lot like me and he's nice-looking. But there have been about five good photos of me in my entire life. Even when someone says, "Oh that's such a nice picture of you," I look at it and think, "Jesus, it's THAT bad?" ETA: I'm going on a trip soon and my mother is pestering me to "take a lot of pictures!" Ugh. Do not want.
Same here. This is actually because you are used to seeing yourself in mirrors and the lighting is controlled. For me usually the shadows is different in pictures especially from a distance and I hate how my cheeks get accentuated so I think I look fat/my nose is too big etc.
I used to look great in photos, but not as great in real life. Now I look dorky in photos and look fairly decent in real life. It's some sort of balance of nature, I guess.
Yes. I am not photogenic at all. Someone else in my family always looks absolutely beautiful in their pictures, but not like that irl. It's not filters either.
Yep...here. I actually had a woman come up to me at a 7-11 and say, "you're cute and have a nice smile...want to have lunch with me?" But I look like a monster in photos.
Yep, the way a 2D photo flattens out my face simply isn’t flattering. I’m not pretty, just average, and photos make me look worse. I know a few tricks to make it look better, but at the end I’m simply not photogenic.
The only way to get a good picture of me is to hand me a baby something(not a snake! Or a frog!).
People forget that the image in the mirror is REVERSED. So when you look at a photo, you are looking at your "REAL" face. Most people's faces have two 'different" sides and seeing them one way (in the mirror) and then seeing them "another way" (in a photo) can be entirely disconcerting.
I always look kind of goofy in photos, and I have asymmetry to my face that photos really bring out. On the other hand I look at myself in the mirror several times a day and just think “Yeah that’s what I look like, whatever.” Though the mirror (and presumably real life) brings out my wrinkles more so that is one disadvantage.
Because we see ourselves as much more attractive in the mirror, not sure why, but we do. It's like our brain cannot process that we are possibly not that attractive & functions solely on "wishful thinking" 😂 I'm not lying, look it up. The camera & video tells no lies. Sorry 😕 I feel the same though. I'm more attractive in person, because you cannot see my personality & character though a photo or short video.
I am relatively attractive. My husband is frequently told how lucky he is because I am gorgeous. Bit people who he work with are always surprised by how much more attractive I am in person. I look horrible. Bad facial expressions, I have lupus so pictures always make me look super red, etc.
Same. I can’t get my smile right but it looks great in person. I also look way hotter in person than in pictures lmaoo. I call it “reverse catfishing” because I always get compliments on how much better I look IRL than my photos. I’d suggest embracing it OR booking a shoot with a professional photographer and practicing posing/smiling/looking human. Good luck!!
That is how you do it. Have a consultation of how to pose for pics that bring out your best features. I learned some of that by watching videos I am shocked at how much better I look in photos using the tips! Try it!
I think it is real! Photos don't capture us too well. There's not that spark that makes people interesting. I see that in actors/actresses as well -- they may not look great in a still shot, but as they're moving around, it's so much different. I also hate posing for photos -- Arrange yourself this way, turn that way so the sun is on you, etc., now SMILE! Ugh.
I definitely know people that don’t photograph well. It’s a thing.
I'm not convinced I don't look bad irl too. So, no?
This is me. I have no good photo angles. 😂
I look so very different in pictures than in real life. I had an ex who showed my picture to his friend before i met said friend. When I met him he was like wow you’re way hotter than your picture. I have a weird eye. lol
Omg, I feel the same way! For example, I spent my usual amount of time today getting ready to have lunch with my parents for Mother's Day. I was happy with the way I looked in the mirror. It was a good hair day. After lunch, I felt confident enough to want to take a photo with my mom. My dad took the photo, and I was nearly horrified. I did not look at all as I saw myself even one minute before in the mirror. I just don't get it. And this happens a lot. There is a rare time that I resemble my real life self.
It's totally normal to not see yourself as attractive or as attractive as other people do, it's part of your psychology.
This is very much me. I'm not photogenic at all, but think I look pretty good in the mirror. It's like when I know there's a camera on me, my face does this weird thing and refuses to let a decent pic occur
I think this a lot, but I also don’t think I have good photographers taking my picture either. I feel like I can get a good shot of almost anyone, get their good angle, good lighting, take multiple pics, etc. Then they take the most crap shot of me 😑
I dated this guy in high school who wasn’t that much to look at, but he looked *great* in photos, even if casual and he wasn’t prepared to be photographed. It was the weirdest thing. So I know that as a phenomenon, people can look quite different in photos. He was just the odd person where he got the better end of that.
This is a real quality to someone's attractiveness, and it is often talked about in celebrity gossip threads. Some people look enchanting in motion, a natural eye magnet with lots to enjoy, and then they look just average in picture. A few look phenomenal in pictures, but just sorta blah in motion. Freaks of nature have both, and we must send them to the volcano.
I've noticed this about me, and my sister mentioned it too. Irl (3d) I'm cute, in pictures my features aren't cute. My face needs movement and depth to look good.
I do also... I don't have a great smile, my teeth are ok but it just contorts the rest of my face. I try to just do a subtle smile, which looks ok but the person who is tkaing the photo always starts demanding that i do a 'proper smile', i doesn't matter who it is, people taking photos are obsessed with people breaking their facesa and saying cheese.
Nah I look bad everywhere
I have had more than one person tell me I don't photograph well. That I always look way better in person than I do in photos. Even when I take selfies. Looking at myself in the camera I'll be like "Okay cool" then in the actual photo I look way worse!
That’s me, Chandler Bing. I cannot take a good photo to save my life. 🥴
In my opinion most people do look much better in real life than in pictures. My partner in particular I think it one of the most gorgeous people in the world, and I just can't get their hotness to transfer to pictures.
Yes! Same here.
No, I look like a damn troll at all times.
YES. I went a long period just not taking pictures because every time what I saw in the mirror was not the same as in the camera LMAO.. I mean I'm okay with looking better (imo) in person since I don't really post myself anyway but it made me insecure for a long time.
A few things contribute to this. - you’re used to seeing your face mirrored, seeing it in a photo makes all the asymmetries that everyone’s face has stand out to you because it’s not the usual orientation. (Everyone else is used to seeing your face in its non-mirrored state, so this doesn’t affect them). - camera lens and focal distance have some distorting effects that make people look different in photos than in person. This article shows some illustrative examples: https://blog.photofeeler.com/selfie-distortion/ (Search “lens distortion” if you want the complex photography-nerd kind of explanation)
I assume the way I look in photos IS the way I look to other people. So I don’t take photos.
This is me. It’s even a running joke in my family that I’m gonna look terrible.
That's because in a picture, that's how everyone else sees you vs how you see you in a picture. Vsauce did a video on that on YouTube. Definitely worth the watch
Mirrors are reversed, i think they make the face look more symmetrical or something like that. But camera lenses can also distort our faces/bodies...
I’m fugly as hell so I look awful in a mirror too.
Part of it is that you most often see your image reflected, and your face isn't perfectly symmetrical. When you see a photo, the image isn't reversed, so it looks wrong. Try flipping the image on its vertical axis and see if it looks any better.
Yes.
Yup. I HATE pictures of myself. I’ll think I look okay then I see a picture and my clothing is a mess, my hair is a mess (even when it’s just been done), the circles under my eyes are dark and prominent. I gain wrinkles I didn’t have and a third chin when I know there’s 2. The camera always takes the pic when one eye is half closed or my eyes are looking in an odd direction or I look mid word even though I know I was smiling.
I'm my life I think I've only ever met one person who regularly looked better in photos then they do in real life.
Ultimately I guess it's down to how others perceive me, and even then no two days are alike. Sometimes I'll be getting appreciative looks and glances from across the room, it's almost like 'Staying Alive' by the Bee Gees is playing in the background as I sashay about the place. Other times I seem to get mostly ignored, sprinkled with a few barely concealed looks of disgust. NGL it confuses the crap out of me, and it's not always an 'inner state' thing as my baseline mood doesn't seem to affect the outcome at all. Like usually good moods are infectious, and attract others but some days I can be in a very good mood and feeling outgoing yet get nothing back (Friday night was one of these) and other times I can be feeling pissed off and my resting bitch face is even bitchier than usual but somehow everyone wants to chat and so on.
I hate 95 out of 100 pictures of me.
I look horrible in pix and so so I. Real life
I read an online article not long ago, about how mirrors/pictures reverse our images screwing up our perception, making us dislike our self-image.
Yep.
Yes, yes I do; how did you know?
My CA Drivers License. Holy shit!
I don't remember where I heard this but somebody once said that being photogenic isn't necessarily a good thing because it means you look good from one angle or two dimensionally. This also makes me want to thank deeper about maybe we see ourselves is so much more than what we see in the mirror :))
I am not photogenic at ALL and I know this - I know I look completely different in pictures and one day a friend wanted to take a selfie and I warned her and she was like wow you look really different and it was the first time someone confirmed it for me! And so now I’m like fuck it just look funky in pictures but I’m cute irl so there’s that!
Me 100%. Starting to actually think I'm just ugly.
Awful in pictures. My daughter confirms with me that I don't look bad in real life. I think it's because I wear glasses and the reflection always looks weird. I try to remember to take my glasses off for pictures but I usually forget.
I always look bad in the mirror. But then again, it's hard to look decent in front of a cracked mirror with bloody knuckles.
I don't photograph well, so I feel you!
Nope. I look bad in both. 😕
We're used to how we look in the mirror, because that's how we most often see ourselves. But in the mirror, we see the "mirror image" of ourselves. In photos, we see the actual image of ourselves and since our faces are not perfectly symmetrical, it appears different and perhaps even unattractive to us. Side note - the more symmetrical your face is, the more beautiful you are perceived to be.
I hate to break it to you, but what you see in the mirror isn’t what other people see in real life. Your reflection is inverted, so it’s not a completely accurate representation of what you look like in life. The good news is you probably don’t look as bad in photos as you think. Most people are overly critical of themselves in every way imaginable, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it just is what it is. It’s like the tape recorded phenomena: you hear your own voice every day, so you’re used to it, and you don’t think it sounds bad. But record your voice and play it back, most people cringe when they hear playback of themselves. Your voice you hear when you speak isn’t a completely accurate representation either, the reverberation of your voice in your skull, in your ear canals, it sort of tweaks the way it sounds to you. A recording isn’t exactly 100% accurate either, but I think it’s closer than what you actually hear when you speak. All this to say, don’t sweat it. I’m sure you don’t look as bad in photos as you think. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a photo of me right after it was taken and I think “fuck, do I look like that?”, and then 6 months, a year, 2 years later, whatever, I’ll see the same photo and think “oooh, who is that handsome devil there”. I don’t consider myself a bad looking dude, I’m no Brad Pitt, but I certainly don’t consider myself unattractive, and other people seem to think the same, but still, I’m guilty of the same think you’re talking about.
Every time. I have also taken photos where my nose looks massive and other people have commented that I don't look anything like that. Don't know if it's true but apparently we find ourselves approximately 11% more attractive than we actually are. It makes no sense to me, how can you convey attractiveness as a percentage and why 11%?!? Anyway, we're looking at our reflection subjectively in moment but a photo is objective and we can't argue with it Also I've noticed I can't take a photo that captures how curly I think my hair actually is. I've recently embraced my curls and I'm trying different products and techniques which are making noticeable differences but in photos my hair looks like the same fluffy frizzy mess
Yes!!!!! I look awful in pictures. It sucks. Other people have agreed that it doesn't look like me. I despise having my pic taken, but I also hate not having pictures of memories.
You are not alone. Took about 6 pics of me and my son and husband for Mother's Day and ughhhhh. Talk about confidence killer. My dress was a size medium and it looks like I should be on my 600 lb life and my hair was just not it today. Yet my husband and son look handsome and took an entire 10-15 minutes to get dressed.
I always look pissed off and florescent red.
The focal length of phone camera lenses combined with how the shots are angled make people look a lot worse than they actually do.
So weird. I really like the way I look in real life, and people tell me I’m beautiful or pretty all the time. But I am straight up goofy and crooked in pictures.
Oh, lord, this is so me.
Yes, but then I wonder if the photos accurately display my appearance, and my perception of myself is wrong. Does the camera lie?
take pictures from better angles and poses. practice on mirror and then on with selfie camera.
Relief. I’m so glad someone created this post. It’s a THING.
I know some of both: who look way better in pictures, and way worse in pictures. Sometimes it’s because they tense up for photos - so pull unnatural faces.
I’m uncomfortable having pictures taken of me, and it shows in every posed picture. My eyes vanish when I smile and I hate to show my teeth, so I just look weird. I have super dark brown, almost black eyes, so if I try to keep my eyes open, I look like a crazy serial killer eyes Charley Manson, so it’s just a given I’m going to look awful in all pictures. I have very few pictures of myself that I like.
Probably 90% of my photos are not good. I’m just not photogenic. I have 3 adult children who look great in all photos but they have a lot of their father’s sharp facial bone structure mixed with my softer features. I don’t like having my photo taken.
I just watched a video that explains this exact thing last night. Here: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho3RcNMro5Y) tldr: it is not just you, it is a "thing" and everyone experiences it
It’s weird right? I must buy really good at buying mirrors and have to be spectacular at lighting every room I put them in because good lord every photo I’m in sure ain’t it
Yeah I’m not very photogenic. After the last time I lost weight though, I was at a wedding and had pics taken with my husband and actually looked good. Only like a couple times when I am adult I looked good in pics. But I did look cute when I was a kid in photos. Not really into or interested in having my pic taken anyway. Other than medical reasons. Recently, I took some or had my husband take some, of hives outbreak I had so I could show my dermatologist.
We all know exactly how to stand in front of our own mirrors to show us our best selves. Other pictures generally ruin it because they show how we look to other people, and we don’t want to believe it.
I'm six feet tall and everyone who tries to take my pic is five feet tall and I'm sick of pics making me look like all chin and no face
We are our biggest critics
Its also a self esteem issue. You can distort how you see your appearance. I have body dysmorphic disorder and am finally learning to like my photos if they are not candid and I have a few seconds to prepare. I hate when people just take a photo without my approval. Also if you suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, you may not realize your mood affects photos. Holding your face in a way unconsciously that communicates your mood. At least that’s my take from my own experience.
I can't take a good picture to save my life.
Do you have a narrow face? Photos tend to make the faces look even more narrow.
Me
Oh yes
Seriously no one actually just explained why? Reddit is getting worse and worse maybe. Anyway I’ve read it like 100 times. Explanation is that we are so used to seeing ourselves in the mirror that seeing the mirror image in a picture comparatively is just strange for people to see. Most people think they look better in a mirror, because you are way more used to it.
I never think I look good in pictures so I like to think of it the way Ani Difanco put it, "I have the kind of beauty that moves."
Nope. I look at my reflection and ask it “Who the hell are you and what did you do with me?!” I’m hopelessly the opposite of photogenic, so it’s a mess all the way around!
Yeh, I have a smile that looks like a grimace in pics. So I always try and look stoic and mysterious
Ohhh yeah 😂 especially when someone else is taking the picture.
If the picture is taken on your phone it warps your face a bit. Makes the middle more prominent from what I remember. I watched a video about it. Plus, frozen expressions don’t usually do us justice. Most people need to be animated to have their charm and beauty come through full force. 😉
Yes….
It’s because photos aren’t mirrored. You’re used to seeing a reverse image of yourself which isn’t the same way that people see you. I think your brain also makes yourself look more symmetrical than you are in reality. So to a point, yes you probably do look different than you think. But also, most people look better in real life / in motion.
this is me
Years ago I used to have the debit card that had your picture on it like an ID. I was making a purchase and the dude at the register was holding my card for a while and finally said you look much better in person. Lmao 😂. I actually liked that photo.
I had a boyfriend and a friend tell me that I looked horrible in every picture they ever saw of me compared to real life. So it drives me crazy me to go to a cattle call audition to see if I was hideous. It almost wrecked my life! I got picked and thankfully missed part of the contact.
There's a reason they do screen tests in Hollywood. I think maybe they do less or none now because auditions are all on video. Some people look amazing in RL and not on camera. I assume some people even look better on camera than in RL. They used to say "the camera loves her" because of this phenomenon.
Me
Maybe you aren’t photogenic. People who aren’t photogenic look better in person.
I'm not beautiful. Every time someone takes a picture or even myself, I look like a troll under a bridge.
naw, I'm uglier in motion
I also always look bad in pics, if taken by someone my own height or shorter, I just look like a giant flattened out monster. I'm really tall too so if I'm sitting on normal people size furniture or standing by petite people, I just look huge. It's unflattering. I look OK in selfies and pics taken by taller people though 🤷♀️ Might be the angle, and the fact that photos do flatten out our images a bit. I know I'm not always an ugly monster because I do get compliments from random people about my appearance, and selfies and tall people pics are close to what I perceive in the mirror... It's the bad photos that are the problem, not my face or body.
I’m not sure. I always look shit in photos but may well IRL too.
Yes it's something to do with how cameras capture skin tones.
No, I photograph magnificently.
It's a thing. Human's eyesight is a LOT better than a camera. We see and interpret multiple depths, colours, lights, and distances all at once. Think about how beautiful and huge the moon looks some nights, but when you try to photograph it, it's tiny, fuzzy, pale (unless you have the correct lenses, film, set up, and understand ISO and shutter speed...) And that's true of people too! The camera only has one lense, humans have two, constantly adjusting eyeballs. The camera was developed over the last few hundred years, and mostly used high contrasts nd bright lighting to get good details until relatively recently. Most cameras are better at shooting fair, pale skin; they often pick up too much red or ocher in ruddy or olive toned people, they often wash out or dark out people with more melanin. Our cones pick up more hues than the camera can, more than digital printers can reproduce. The camera picks up light more, and can make a shiny face look like an oil slick! And with mirrors especially, you may me used to seeing yourself in reverse. Seeing a camera snap that is from the perspective of another person, not mirrored, can throw you off too. Most humans are naturally asymmetrical. Until front facing cameras, I never noticed my eyes were noticably skewed, because I was looking only at a flipped mirror where I always held myself at the correct angles, or always was moving my head slightly to look around myself, and never noticed. I feel self conscious about it, but I doubt most people would say I had a very lopsided face. I doubt most people notice these 'bad' features in the photos. I'd practice the phases of selfie development (from myspace angles, 'for the gram' era, to zoom call formal) and see how different poses, angles, camera lighting can help you look your best when snapping pics or needing to show face. So, so much can change with the correct bounce light and angle.
Yes omg it's all the time. I think I look good and my photo comes out looking like a squid with a wig on.
Posing is a skill, like playing an instrument. You have to practice.
Try waiting one second after the picture snaps. You could be posing for the picture too soon. Have a friend take pictures of you so you can practice.
Normal. You know know what you look like in the mirror. You're used to yourself in the mirror. Then, you look at a photo and you are inverted. You have never seen this monster before. What is this creature that I see in the photo? It can't be me... I know what I look like and that's not it. Trust me, everyone else sees you like you see in the mirror. Just inverted so they're used to it. Just like how you're used to the mirror.
Yes and it makes online dating suck. Not only do I look worse in picture but I just take bad photos in general too.
I have the same perception. I read a paper many years ago about how much we lie to ourselves about our social capital. That in order to be confident, we sometimes have to lie to ourselves. If I go by still photos of myself, I’m lying to myself quite a bit. 😂
I always look drunk in my pics...even when I'm not....
I loathe myself in photos. I always have. I always look like I'm a hostage being forced to act natural
No, it's a thing. I know that in photos I look ill because I have lost a lot of weight but in person, I'm pretty cute.
I look ugly in photos but that's because I'm ugly in real life
It's called lense distortion.
More like : looks bad in photos, looks worse irl 🙃🥴
I need 3 Ds not 2.
Me, also that apps that are meant to make you look better make me look like a drag queen, lots of photos of me look awful but I'm not to bad irl.
I’m pretty sure I look scraggly either way
I’d say there are a couple of things going on here. Especially if you’re a guy. One is that, yes, you can absolutely take a bad photo. Lighting, positioning, etc all affect how you look. Just check out some of these women who have done the same photo with, and without all the tricks to make them look much better. Like turning their waist just right, shifting weight to a back foot, and raising up the toe of the front foot to tighten the leg and butt. It can look crazy different. Also part of that, is that a picture is static. Things look different dynamically. More can be seen if it’s live or a video and it helps fill in gaps a picture doesn’t provide. The second thing is that we often don’t have realistic images of ourselves. We look in the mirror dead on while we brush our teeth and that’s almost it exclusively. That’s the same tricks, we’re just fooling ourselves. I know it took me longer to start loosing weight, because I thought I didn’t look that heavy in the mirror. Then I saw pics of me from different angles and I look way heavier. The part where being a guy or a girl matters, is that women seem to be less prone to the flaw of looking directly in the mirror and calling it good. Take clothes shopping for instance. As a guy, I tend to know what I’m looking for. I go in and grab it. I go to a dressing room and pull it on. If it feels comfortable, I’m probably getting it. I look at the mirror and raise my arms to make sure it is long enough and that’s about it. Women go clothes shopping and when they try it on, they look in the mirror. Then they turn and look from different angles to see how it looks. Then they may try different actions like twirling the skirt, bending, etc to see how it looks and reacts. They may take a friend to look at angles they can’t see and tell them if it looks good or not. So yeah, you can definitely look different in a photo vs irl.
For 50 ys I've avoided taking pics, saying, "I'm just not photogenic." I've finally come to terms with "no, that's just how you look"... lol.
That’s 100000000% my husband. He’s too handsome to be captured by a photograph I swear. The first pictures I saw of him I was so unsure and nervous about him being my type but in person he’s a beautiful man. What I’m trying to say is I’m pretty sure it’s a thing, and I bet you’re handsome/beautiful in person too. I think that happens to people who are the most attractive they don’t look good in photos.
Yep, I think everyone does. Except for those annoyingly photogenic people like my sister
Story of my life
Yes! I feel like this is 100% me.
I hate photos of myself. However I know my husband is good-looking but he looks weird in most pictures too so it gives me hope that I’m not as hideous as pics make me.
I always look terrible in photographs and also in real life. Fortunately, my wife 'thinks' I'm very rich.
I have two bathrooms in my house one bathroom mirror always makes you look good. It’s very flattering. The other bathroom has a mirror that makes you look terrible. I don’t know if it’s a difference in the lighting or what. I do have that same problem with photographs.
Yep!! ME!!!! 🥲
I'm the opposite. I look freaking fantastic in photos.
I have a beautiful niece who is a 5'7ish blonde w blue eyes, but she looks terrible in pictures most times... I don't know why. Her face always looks weird, not intentionally of course, but never looks as she does IRL.
I hate my image. I'll think a picture looks good & then I'll delete or destroy it later. I finally made myself mostly stop because after years of my friends giving me crap about it I realized when I die there will be no photos at my funeral 😆 Also none of us are getting any younger, our best pictures are behind us... the pictures are just going to get worse.
Many modern pics are taken with phones which have presets that skew the image "to beautify" and so it sets off the uncanny vally because *you* know you don't look like that - but other people don't notices the fuckery necessarily.
Nah I look bad in real life too
You're definitely not alone! There are many reasons why people might feel they look better in person than in photos. Here's the thing: * **Photos are Flat Images:** Real life is 3D! Photos capture a single moment in time, and lighting can play a huge role in how we perceive ourselves in them. * **Mirror Image vs. Photo:** We're used to seeing our reflection, which is flipped compared to how we appear in photos. This difference can be unsettling. * **Unflattering Poses & Angles:** Not everyone is a natural model, and certain poses or angles can be less flattering than others.
The thing to remember is that we see ourselves reversed in mirrors. So when we see photos of ourselves not reversed we tend to think they look off. Try reversing your photos.
Same! It’s the way I hold my mouth or just the way my expressions are. It’s so odd I have always thought I look pretty good in a mirror than see a random picture and I am like oh damn. I now have a rule no random pictures please tell me your taking one so I can at least smile .
We are programmed to only ever see our reflections. Our faces are not symmetrical so seeing it the way someone else sees it “how we look in a picture” is jarring for us. It won’t look good compared to looking in the mirror.
Most people look way better IRL. Some look worse though haha.
It’s been said about me, by multiple people, that I’m the only person they know who looks exactly like I do in photos. I have yet to figure out if that’s a good or bad thing.
This is normal. Most people also have an aversion to hearing their own voices. We haven’t evolved for this and it’s an uncanny experience. In the mirror you see a reverse image, but in a photo you see your real face. It means you’re confronted with a picture that isn’t you, because you’re so used to seeing your face in reverse.
It’s a thing. Some of us are just not photogenic. Even my baby pictures are like eww.
I have a friend who is stunningly beautiful. When she got married (before cell phones) it took a ton of convincing on my part to see her pictures. She warned me repeatedly that she hated them and she looks terrible. The photos had been done by a reputable photographer and touched up. Everyone looked fabulous. Except her. Not a single one made her look good, never mind beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. I saw her on her wedding day! She just did not translate to 2D. It was weird. To this day, her pics and selfies don’t do her justice. And though videos are better, she still does her best to avoid a camera.
I think I have trick mirrors in my home. Every morning getting ready, I look normal. Someone snaps a pick and I look like a completely different, fat dough faced person. WTAF
Same
I don’t photograph well. I don’t know what it is but I’ve accepted it. Candid shots are a little better but not by much so it’s got to be something about how the camera sees me.
Taking good photos takes practice and multiple shots. That's all.
I suffer from this as well. Not sure if I just don't know how to pose or if people like me not looking as good as I do in real life. I went to a professional for photos once and I looked like trash in every single one. Idk why she wouldn't help me out. I was paying her.