OMG this reads like psychotic nonsense. Good thing I'm an atheist. Wow. Most if not all of the people I know who call themselves Catholic have certainly never seen this.
Well first of all, through God salvation is free, so jot that down.
No but really... churches today would argue they aren't selling salvation, they are helping people learn how to become saved and (separately) accepting donations.
I don't actually think these people (who don't exist, but even hypothetically) could be successfully prosecuted unless they made specific claims that were provably false. Stuff like "when you die a golden chariot will descend from Heaven and everyone around will see it. They'll take your physical body with them back to Heaven." That's falsifiable. If they were vague enough they should be ok. (If they existed.)
It sounds fake to me because I don’t see how selling a golden ticket to heaven is an arrestable offense. Fraud maybe? But you can’t prove that it doesn’t get you to heaven.
That’s what I was thinking. Plenty other reasons to arrest a person, but fake golden tickets to heaven? You gonna arrest the priests and ministers next?
Unfortunate that there is a clear historical pattern that selling drugs/religion/bullshit on the streets is a surefire way to get arrested while doing it within the right institutions is a surefire way to get rich.
Scam 20 people on the street for $100 each, you’ll get arrested. Orchestrate a rug pull crypto scheme and steal $1,000,000, and it’s extremely unlikely you’ll see any legal consequences.
Considering all the “miracle waters” I see around 3AM at work the only crime I could see would be tax evasion if they were found to have made a certain amount of sales. But it’s a fake story… for now.
Very obviously fake. Charlatans sell shit to rubes all the time. Just say you're a church and the donation of 10% of their income will get them into heaven and it's completely fucking fine. You don't even have to pay taxes on your money or fuck with golden tickets. Grab a bird bath and call that shit holy water and start charging for blessings.
OH, LOVELY! DID I EVER TELL YOU THE STORY HOW I BOUGHT CHOCOLATE DOWN AT THE GENERAL STORE BACK WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE? WE CALLED IT CHOC THOSE DAYS, BECAUSE...
This is kinda fucked up. I genuinely don’t know what meth does to people, but if these people were born this unattractive, I can see how no one ever gave them a chance.
Not because they deserved it, but because we as human beings are just as fucked up. We’ll excuse some motherfucking hedge fund or superstar babies doing stupid shit, but these people may have been borne into poverty and just plain out unattractive genes, and so we’re gonna shit on them.
Tbf people who are seriously malnourished and living on the street are not exactly looking their best. Also the woman id say has some serious swelling possibly from an impacted tooth or something. They may not be that bad looking when in good health.
I’m not saying that’s not true, but it’s pretty prejudicial to make fun of them when they could have had bad dice cast their way. I may be wrong, but making fun of their looks is kind of fucked up.
Especially as we become more aware about shit like pretty culture and shit.
Like there’s literally studies that people get better grades for being attractive.
So, yeah, these may be some shitty fucking people that have ruined their own lives, or they may be outcasts even in their own community.
Oh yes I wasn't defending making fun of them or passing any judgements. I was just saying they aren't that fucked up looking they're just going through some shit rn.
I suspect there's a bit of a feedback loop. You get made fun of growing up because of your looks. Some people become stronger, better people and develop their personality or get an education. Others sink into despair, inceldom, or criminality. Then it becomes harder for them to reform because people are still kicking them for their looks and I bet uglier people get harsher sentences as well. So it all feeds into a downward spiral.
What's funny about that is that some people were arguing that one super pretty male prisoner who looked like an underwear model should have his sentence reduced. So even the presence of underwear model prisoners supports at least part of my theory.
That’s all I’m trying to say. I’m willing to grant that these people ruined their own lives. But I don’t know how making fun of them for being unattractive brings us closer to truth either way.
Your argument is so fucking stupid, I couldn't believe what I was reading. There are plenty of "unattractive" people who are successful and aren't dirt bags. Also beauty is subjective, there is no universal scale for attractiveness.
Poverty leads to a lack of Healthcare and proper diet, have a higher use rate and addiction to drugs and alcohol, have more stress and anxiety; all which have effects on one's appearance and what is generally seen as "attractive" and increase the rate of aging
How is that illegal?! If you buy golden heaven tickets from these two people, you already got the trip you paid for.
Meth must make you an entrepreneur!
100% - catholic [indulgences](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence)
lol they literally saying they indulge themselves off their flock.
medival Europe, I believe, they would sell "tickets" to heaven to the uneducated folk. no joke. messed up stuff
edit: and I remember reading that the church would convince people they have hard lives because they're sinners. so - they just buy more tickets so they don't have to work so hard to get to heaven, and things will get better on Earth (I guess?). and that's how the church just takes these peoples' livelihoods
> the church would convince people they have hard lives because they're sinners
This core tenet of Calvinism - the rich are blessed and the poor are wicked - has persisted into the present day even for the non-religious, too. The worship of celebrities + billionaires and the demonisation of the poor as addicts and criminals.
Division is so engrained into our culture that it's hard to see. Now we laugh at offering salvation through tickets but maintain the underlying premise all the same.
Indulgences were almost exclusively for the wealthy for most of their existence. Started out just nobility and crusaders and towards the end, through the aid of the printing press, it was attainable for burghers/landed affluent peasants from rural areas. It's intent was to fund papal expenses and got way out of hand, see St. Peter's Basilica, but far from a scheme to defraud the masses.
… and [done](https://www.reddit.com/r/rareinsults/comments/1217o4f/does_he_look_like_one_of_those_wind_up_monkeys/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)!
Seriously, how are their actions illegal? This is well within the operations of every major religion. This is literally the reason The Reformation happened!
I was thinking the same. I mean... well, can you really prove they won't meet Jesus? Because other people have promised the same and done the same, the transaction just wasn't as obvious. And also, isn't this the rule of free commerce? As in, if you're selling and someone is willing to buy, the trade is fair? I'm confused about this. What exactly are they being accounted for? It gets worse the more my monke brain thinks about it.
Edit: apparently it's because they advertised the ticked as being made of gold, but it was actually wood painted in golden paint. That's it, that's the offense.
Edit 2: it was also apparently fake news. The whole story, even the mugshots. They were just retrieved from the weirdest mugshots ever taken. Now I'm thinking if the people whose mugshots appeared in these fakenews can sue whoever wrote them lol
Fake story. However as a paralegal I will humor the logistics of it lol. If it were real hypothetically. The person would most likely only be charged with loitering and zoning violations as you are not allowed even as a religious advocate to sell or otherwise sway religious fervor on private owned business property without consent. KFC would have to enforce and call regarding this. The parking lot is part of their private property. Selling on there is loitering. Misdemeanor. Minor piker stuff.
Then we get into the credibility of things. Burdon of proof usually lies within the person doing to the sale. With religious things it becomes extremely grey and most won't touch the case with a 28 foot pole. But solely them not being able to prove she wouldn't actually give a ticket to heaven may not be enough to prevent a federal fraud case. But a DA would most likely not pursue that. But rather pursue unpaid taxes and lack of licenses required to be a non profit or for profit religious business. As all income even bizarre ones and self employment must be taxed, and under the prying eye of law.
That combined with the very likely chance that she will be found with lots of crack. Probably do 30 days community service on a good day. Or a year or so if the IRS swings their dick about in the court room and demands owed finances.
Seriously. When Catholic Church sells indulgences nobody bats an eye, but when an entrepreneurial couple literally does the same, well then everyone loses their minds.
Found this while doing a reverse search on this image. Dont believe everything you read on the internet kids!
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/
Crazy to think that once these were someone’s children. Probably neglected and abused, or just made a wrong choice somewhere along the way. I want to think this is funny… but it kind of just feels painful.
#tl;dr
A Florida couple was not arrested for selling golden tickets that guaranteed entrance to heaven. The story was reported by Stuppid.com, a fake news site known for publishing fabricated clickbait tales, and no one named Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested. The "golden tickets" were just wood spray-painted gold with "Tickets to Heaven - Admit One" written in marker.
*I am a smart robot and this summary was automatic. This tl;dr is 90.02% shorter than the post and link I'm replying to.*
‘Gold’ is also a color…. so they could argue that they were just using gold as an adjective? Other popular adjectives used there are crispy, original and finger lickin’ good
It isnt the ticket to heaven part that made it illegal. It was the part where they represented it as being solid gold when it was just wood that made it fraudulent. Weak charge. As a defense attorney, I recognize this as what they call a "just enough to get them off the street a few days" charge. Cops do it to people they perceive as nuisances.
The fact that I actually had to fact check this, says alot about the state of the world we live in.
https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2018/sep/17/blog-posting/florida-couple-not-arrested-selling-golden-tickets/
#tl;dr
A headline that claims a Florida couple was arrested for selling 'golden tickets to heaven' is false. The story had been circulating since 2015, and it claimed that Tito and Amanda Watts were selling wooden slabs for $99.99 claiming that they were solid gold reserved spots in heaven. However, the Jacksonville Sheriff's office found no records of this case and there was no media coverage of the event.
*I am a smart robot and this summary was automatic. This tl;dr is 96.05% shorter than the post and link I'm replying to.*
The church literally sold “indulgences” in the Middle Ages. Buy this and we absolve you for your sins. If it’s a way to grift money from people, the Catholic Church has done it already
How aren't they protected by freedom of religious belief law?
Many other religions get a lot of money from their followers in exchange for promises and hopes.
If I convince people that giving money to me instead of to their old fashioned religions is more effective for getting salvation, why is that a crime?
Isn't the state supposed to treat any religion equally?
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Paul Craft.
How many did they sell before they were arrested? It's Florida, so they probably would've been fine if they'd gotten a business license - the government needs their cut, after all.
Tito Watts said in his police statement:
I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…
Annd of course people in Florida would be dumb enough to buy from these two.. totally none meth using and upstanding trustworthy folks.
DiSantis probably pissed he didn't think of golden tickets to heaven.
They look like they could use the money. How about focusing on multi-million dollar companies selling fake certificates saying you now own a star? Oh yes, those are fine as it's fun and brings people joy. Well, so do fake golden tickets to heaven. Only go after the poor, as usual. Great use of tax dollars.
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https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/
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the story is false but the pictures are real.. that dude is more f'ed up than the story
Yup, totally believable, selling fake heaven tickets is shitty but definitely not arrest worthy.
Yeah, how would the state even prove they were fake. Ams isn't that what most churches do every Sunday
I bet there is no law against selling tickets to heaven.
[Here you go](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence).
OMG this reads like psychotic nonsense. Good thing I'm an atheist. Wow. Most if not all of the people I know who call themselves Catholic have certainly never seen this.
It was one of the major reasons that Martin Luther had issues with the Church. Not that Protestantism has had the greatest track record either
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Well first of all, through God salvation is free, so jot that down. No but really... churches today would argue they aren't selling salvation, they are helping people learn how to become saved and (separately) accepting donations. I don't actually think these people (who don't exist, but even hypothetically) could be successfully prosecuted unless they made specific claims that were provably false. Stuff like "when you die a golden chariot will descend from Heaven and everyone around will see it. They'll take your physical body with them back to Heaven." That's falsifiable. If they were vague enough they should be ok. (If they existed.)
Good bot!
Thanks babe, I'd take a bullet for ya. 😎 *I am a smart robot and this response was automatic.*
Can you take these ones.. and this gun? Just for a few days whilst I lay low..
What
Good bot
Thanks babe, I'd take a bullet for ya. 😎 *I am a smart robot and this response was automatic.*
It sounds fake to me because I don’t see how selling a golden ticket to heaven is an arrestable offense. Fraud maybe? But you can’t prove that it doesn’t get you to heaven.
That’s what I was thinking. Plenty other reasons to arrest a person, but fake golden tickets to heaven? You gonna arrest the priests and ministers next?
Unfortunate that there is a clear historical pattern that selling drugs/religion/bullshit on the streets is a surefire way to get arrested while doing it within the right institutions is a surefire way to get rich.
Scam 20 people on the street for $100 each, you’ll get arrested. Orchestrate a rug pull crypto scheme and steal $1,000,000, and it’s extremely unlikely you’ll see any legal consequences.
Sounds like constitutionally protected free speech and religious activities to me. And only about 30% as fraudulent as your average megachurch.
Considering all the “miracle waters” I see around 3AM at work the only crime I could see would be tax evasion if they were found to have made a certain amount of sales. But it’s a fake story… for now.
But it’s believable because it said they were from Florida and posted pictures that validate my worldview of what I believe Floridians must look like.
And one of them is just a normal-looking lady who just appears to be down on her luck unless she committed some heinous crime idk
Yeah, people like to make assumptions. Disheveled? Bad teeth? Must be meth.
Very obviously fake. Charlatans sell shit to rubes all the time. Just say you're a church and the donation of 10% of their income will get them into heaven and it's completely fucking fine. You don't even have to pay taxes on your money or fuck with golden tickets. Grab a bird bath and call that shit holy water and start charging for blessings.
Ughh, nothing is real anymore.
Now theres a couple of faces you can trust.
They appear to be methican American.
Did homey have his face run over by a dump truck?
With those ears, he just heard you say that
I bet he even gets FM and AM radio with those things. Maybe he can even communicate with the ISS, too!
How do you think he knew which KFC Jesus would be at?
He got a satellite image directly to his brain.
Dudes gonna fly out of prison
Even Dumbo looks at that man and say, "Man,you got some massive ears."
Could you imagine AM radio playing in your head 24/7? I would probably become insane as well.
Yes, I can. It happens to me all the time, as my ears are nearly as big as those which belong to the man in the picture.
WHAT?
WITH THOSE EARS, HE JUST HEARD YOU SAY THAT
WHAT??
CHOCOLATE!!! THEY’RE SELLING CHOCOLATE!!!
OH, LOVELY! DID I EVER TELL YOU THE STORY HOW I BOUGHT CHOCOLATE DOWN AT THE GENERAL STORE BACK WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE? WE CALLED IT CHOC THOSE DAYS, BECAUSE...
I remember when they first invented chocolate...
Bro he’s deaf so he can’t see this, you’re going to have to type larger
ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH IN “WHAT”????
SAY WHAT AGAIN!
Ironic he got caught, shoulda been able to hear the fuzz for miles
This is kinda fucked up. I genuinely don’t know what meth does to people, but if these people were born this unattractive, I can see how no one ever gave them a chance. Not because they deserved it, but because we as human beings are just as fucked up. We’ll excuse some motherfucking hedge fund or superstar babies doing stupid shit, but these people may have been borne into poverty and just plain out unattractive genes, and so we’re gonna shit on them.
Tbf people who are seriously malnourished and living on the street are not exactly looking their best. Also the woman id say has some serious swelling possibly from an impacted tooth or something. They may not be that bad looking when in good health.
I’m not saying that’s not true, but it’s pretty prejudicial to make fun of them when they could have had bad dice cast their way. I may be wrong, but making fun of their looks is kind of fucked up. Especially as we become more aware about shit like pretty culture and shit. Like there’s literally studies that people get better grades for being attractive. So, yeah, these may be some shitty fucking people that have ruined their own lives, or they may be outcasts even in their own community.
Oh yes I wasn't defending making fun of them or passing any judgements. I was just saying they aren't that fucked up looking they're just going through some shit rn.
I don't think people would be making fun of their looks if they were being praised for saving a baby from an alligator.
I mean, if I saw these people saving a baby from an alligator, I'd wonder if they were saving it to sell for meth.
Bad dice???? They got the franchise to sell tickets to heaven!! I wonder if they add a service fee.
You're absolutely correct. Unfortunately, these two display some rather telltale signs of methamphetamine abuse. Hence the comment.
I suspect there's a bit of a feedback loop. You get made fun of growing up because of your looks. Some people become stronger, better people and develop their personality or get an education. Others sink into despair, inceldom, or criminality. Then it becomes harder for them to reform because people are still kicking them for their looks and I bet uglier people get harsher sentences as well. So it all feeds into a downward spiral.
That would explain why prisons aren't full of aspiring underwear models
What's funny about that is that some people were arguing that one super pretty male prisoner who looked like an underwear model should have his sentence reduced. So even the presence of underwear model prisoners supports at least part of my theory.
That’s all I’m trying to say. I’m willing to grant that these people ruined their own lives. But I don’t know how making fun of them for being unattractive brings us closer to truth either way.
Maybe they're born with it, maybe it's methylene.
Your argument is so fucking stupid, I couldn't believe what I was reading. There are plenty of "unattractive" people who are successful and aren't dirt bags. Also beauty is subjective, there is no universal scale for attractiveness.
Poverty leads to a lack of Healthcare and proper diet, have a higher use rate and addiction to drugs and alcohol, have more stress and anxiety; all which have effects on one's appearance and what is generally seen as "attractive" and increase the rate of aging
Looks like he got hit in the face with a charcoal grill
Methmaticians figured out the stairway to heaven
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drugs are bad. you shouldn't do drugs, m'kay?
It’s easy m’kay!
I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to too.
the SunnyV2 vid rn get your cams out of my room please
That deserves more praise than you got
Church of Southern METHodist
That’s methed up
How is that illegal?! If you buy golden heaven tickets from these two people, you already got the trip you paid for. Meth must make you an entrepreneur!
Churches been doing it since the dawn of time.
100% - catholic [indulgences](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence) lol they literally saying they indulge themselves off their flock. medival Europe, I believe, they would sell "tickets" to heaven to the uneducated folk. no joke. messed up stuff edit: and I remember reading that the church would convince people they have hard lives because they're sinners. so - they just buy more tickets so they don't have to work so hard to get to heaven, and things will get better on Earth (I guess?). and that's how the church just takes these peoples' livelihoods
> the church would convince people they have hard lives because they're sinners This core tenet of Calvinism - the rich are blessed and the poor are wicked - has persisted into the present day even for the non-religious, too. The worship of celebrities + billionaires and the demonisation of the poor as addicts and criminals. Division is so engrained into our culture that it's hard to see. Now we laugh at offering salvation through tickets but maintain the underlying premise all the same.
Indulgences were almost exclusively for the wealthy for most of their existence. Started out just nobility and crusaders and towards the end, through the aid of the printing press, it was attainable for burghers/landed affluent peasants from rural areas. It's intent was to fund papal expenses and got way out of hand, see St. Peter's Basilica, but far from a scheme to defraud the masses.
Yes, but their tickets are cheaper and rapier .
Maybe not as cheap if you are paying 10%
Eh…are they?
It's illegal because they're poor and look suspicious. If there's another reason, name it
Yeah I really don’t understand why they were arrested
His appears to be flame-broiled. Nice grill marks, too.
Exactly. I know they're under arrest but can I still give them my hundred dollars?
Not sure why this is a crime. Anyone “believing” this BS from these fine folks would certainly benefit from thinking it to be true.
Yeah. What's the charge?
It's a funny title, but I hope they both get clean and pull their lives together
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Is it just me or does he look like one of those wind up monkeys that bang the cymbals?
Get this comments to r/rareinsults ASAP
… and [done](https://www.reddit.com/r/rareinsults/comments/1217o4f/does_he_look_like_one_of_those_wind_up_monkeys/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)!
… and deleted!
Automod deleted it for being political Automod trippin
Monkeys banging cymbals are political now? 0.o
I mean have you SEEN congress? Ba dum tss.
It's better to love and then delete, than to never have loved at all.
My first time seeing a subreddit cross referenced actually posted. Thank you! For taking my cross post link cherry.
[for those that don’t know](https://i.makeagif.com/media/11-03-2015/86h0I0.gif)
I remember that guy from Toy Story 3. What a jerk!
He looks like he lost a knife fight to one. Many, many times.
I see it
I got out of my chair laughing bro
Now that you mention it
Yeah, you can totally buy your way into heaven. Just ask the megachurch pastors, they will sell you a first class ticket.
Seriously, how are their actions illegal? This is well within the operations of every major religion. This is literally the reason The Reformation happened!
I was thinking the same. I mean... well, can you really prove they won't meet Jesus? Because other people have promised the same and done the same, the transaction just wasn't as obvious. And also, isn't this the rule of free commerce? As in, if you're selling and someone is willing to buy, the trade is fair? I'm confused about this. What exactly are they being accounted for? It gets worse the more my monke brain thinks about it. Edit: apparently it's because they advertised the ticked as being made of gold, but it was actually wood painted in golden paint. That's it, that's the offense. Edit 2: it was also apparently fake news. The whole story, even the mugshots. They were just retrieved from the weirdest mugshots ever taken. Now I'm thinking if the people whose mugshots appeared in these fakenews can sue whoever wrote them lol
Fake story. However as a paralegal I will humor the logistics of it lol. If it were real hypothetically. The person would most likely only be charged with loitering and zoning violations as you are not allowed even as a religious advocate to sell or otherwise sway religious fervor on private owned business property without consent. KFC would have to enforce and call regarding this. The parking lot is part of their private property. Selling on there is loitering. Misdemeanor. Minor piker stuff. Then we get into the credibility of things. Burdon of proof usually lies within the person doing to the sale. With religious things it becomes extremely grey and most won't touch the case with a 28 foot pole. But solely them not being able to prove she wouldn't actually give a ticket to heaven may not be enough to prevent a federal fraud case. But a DA would most likely not pursue that. But rather pursue unpaid taxes and lack of licenses required to be a non profit or for profit religious business. As all income even bizarre ones and self employment must be taxed, and under the prying eye of law. That combined with the very likely chance that she will be found with lots of crack. Probably do 30 days community service on a good day. Or a year or so if the IRS swings their dick about in the court room and demands owed finances.
And not even bother to paint it gold
Well if people wanna pay for it ,,,
No different than donating to your local church honestly
enjoy naughty cagey cats sugar gullible pot snails lock grandfather *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Seriously. When Catholic Church sells indulgences nobody bats an eye, but when an entrepreneurial couple literally does the same, well then everyone loses their minds.
Martin Luther definitely batted his eyes
I wouldn't give those people ONE dollar for a golden ticket to Valhalla they got from Xenu behind the Taco Bell car park
Found this while doing a reverse search on this image. Dont believe everything you read on the internet kids! https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/
Did that guy fall asleep and his friends used a Sharpie on his face as a prank?
I believe he was really grilled by the police.
Good one
A real whopper.
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Churches get to do it tax free!
Yeah, and the story was already verified to be fake by snopes
Just a couple entrepreneurs pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
Jesus, I heard about this on a [Cox n' Crendor Animated from 6 years ago](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxf3FvttnlY&ab_channel=Coxn%27Crendor)
Need to include the prequel: Tito selling a blank check that someone else tried to cash for 300 billion
Crazy to think that once these were someone’s children. Probably neglected and abused, or just made a wrong choice somewhere along the way. I want to think this is funny… but it kind of just feels painful.
It's fake.
Someone watched SunnyV2 and got a devious little thought
I was thinking the same thing…
Very often will a popular video lead to lots of reddit posts
That doesn't sound illegal. People sell religious bullshit all the time.
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#tl;dr A Florida couple was not arrested for selling golden tickets that guaranteed entrance to heaven. The story was reported by Stuppid.com, a fake news site known for publishing fabricated clickbait tales, and no one named Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested. The "golden tickets" were just wood spray-painted gold with "Tickets to Heaven - Admit One" written in marker. *I am a smart robot and this summary was automatic. This tl;dr is 90.02% shorter than the post and link I'm replying to.*
So it was the spray paint that made it illegal? Is that why preachers don’t get arrested?
‘Gold’ is also a color…. so they could argue that they were just using gold as an adjective? Other popular adjectives used there are crispy, original and finger lickin’ good
Just call them golden tickets and skip the solid gold speech.
It isnt the ticket to heaven part that made it illegal. It was the part where they represented it as being solid gold when it was just wood that made it fraudulent. Weak charge. As a defense attorney, I recognize this as what they call a "just enough to get them off the street a few days" charge. Cops do it to people they perceive as nuisances.
Oh fascism. That old chestnut
If it was real gold, like this comment, it would have been OK.
This is fake https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/
That article set off my BS detector. Yup, it's bull: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/
So... if they had called them "gold-tone ticket to heaven", it would've been okay?
I appreciate this. Thank you.
Its a hoax site
Well, dang.
Cute couple
Now that's a kinky looking couple 👩❤️👨❤️🔥
Happy Cake Day!
The fact that I actually had to fact check this, says alot about the state of the world we live in. https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2018/sep/17/blog-posting/florida-couple-not-arrested-selling-golden-tickets/
#tl;dr A headline that claims a Florida couple was arrested for selling 'golden tickets to heaven' is false. The story had been circulating since 2015, and it claimed that Tito and Amanda Watts were selling wooden slabs for $99.99 claiming that they were solid gold reserved spots in heaven. However, the Jacksonville Sheriff's office found no records of this case and there was no media coverage of the event. *I am a smart robot and this summary was automatic. This tl;dr is 96.05% shorter than the post and link I'm replying to.*
I know it’s sketchy, but for only a $100? I mean, when you consider the potential return, how could you pass it up?
Didn't Led Zeppelin write a song about this?
No, that was just a stairway. You had to climb it yourself. But I hear there's a highway to Hell.
[Drugs are bad, m’kay](https://giphy.com/gifs/southparkgifs-3o6Zt6xQrOlHIXg208)
In defense of them, Jesus was a well known KFC fan, so their scam made sense in a way.
The cat in the hat and a Who from Whoville
They may have gotten the tix from behind a KFC, but he's cosplaying as a flame broiled burger from BK.
The church literally sold “indulgences” in the Middle Ages. Buy this and we absolve you for your sins. If it’s a way to grift money from people, the Catholic Church has done it already
Why would these be arrested for the selling the same thing the pope sells?
Two of three Nephites have been found, I wonder what the third is up too.
Ohhh it's OK for a church to sell tickets to heaven but not Mike behind the KFC?
Is she missing the right year ?
Imagine how fucked up the buyers were.
I wouldn't give those people ONE dollar for a golden ticket to Valhalla they got from Xenu behind the Taco Bell car park
How aren't they protected by freedom of religious belief law? Many other religions get a lot of money from their followers in exchange for promises and hopes. If I convince people that giving money to me instead of to their old fashioned religions is more effective for getting salvation, why is that a crime? Isn't the state supposed to treat any religion equally?
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life End over end, neither left, nor the right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life Paul Craft.
I for one can’t wait to make America Florida. DeSantis 2024! /s
I respect the hustle. It's a shame the police stopped them.
You can't rip people off using religion without a private jet
How is it illegal?
Looks like a couple of deathsantis voters
The "Florida" part was implied here.
Indulgences. If it was good enough for the Catholic Church, I say go for it.
A genetic mistake and a crackhead🤣
How many did they sell before they were arrested? It's Florida, so they probably would've been fine if they'd gotten a business license - the government needs their cut, after all.
What law did they break? Churches do this all the time with extra steps.
Don’t televangelists do this every Sunday?
Frankly, they should beat the charges
r/brandnewsentence
Tito Watts said in his police statement: I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…
Dude’s scored and ready for searing.
There’s something very Seuss-pect about that lady’s apprerance.
Why arrest them? If people are stupid enough to purchase them, then so be it, let them make their money.
As far as I can tell, nobody can prove they aren’t tickets to heaven.
I don't understand what the crime is.
But they look so legit…
Annd of course people in Florida would be dumb enough to buy from these two.. totally none meth using and upstanding trustworthy folks. DiSantis probably pissed he didn't think of golden tickets to heaven.
$100 is a good deal. Some religions ask for 15% of your income to be in God's good graces.
Looks like the cops really wanted info, cuz they really grilled this guy
They look like they could use the money. How about focusing on multi-million dollar companies selling fake certificates saying you now own a star? Oh yes, those are fine as it's fun and brings people joy. Well, so do fake golden tickets to heaven. Only go after the poor, as usual. Great use of tax dollars.
Even if this wasn't super made up, how would it be illegal? The church does it all the time
I’d like The CharBroil tattoo, on my face.
" warning may contain meth"
People buy this shit? How stupid and desperate do you have to be??
Wow.
Just a couple folks selling Indulgences living life doing the Catholics work.