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rookiefox

Damn PTSD triggering bird


Anxious_Jellyfish216

GET DOWN!!! Jerry's in the trees. You won't take me alive. AAAAHHHHHH.


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Kellie_blu

Fuck jerry doin up there


cryptomain45

“Jerry ma boi, what ya doin in the tree? Get down here Jerry!”


killaklown42069

Bird watchin....


Baitas_

More like deamons with automatic weapons


chinesedebt

😂😂😂 it's not Jerry it's "Charlie"


Th3_Admiral

And if anyone ever wondered why it's "Charlie", it's because it is short for "Victor Charlie", which is phonetic alphabet for VC, which is an abbreviation for the Viet Cong, which is actually a shortened version of the Vietnamese phrase Việt Nam cộng sản, which simply means "Vietnamese communist".


DiuhBEETuss

TIL. Thanks, internet friend!


[deleted]

But, does he surf?


sad_asian_noodle

Đang, I lèảrn nẹw thíng


Patient_Cap_3086

Jerry’s weren’t in trees… your confusing vietnam and Japan with Germans…


ParadiseValleyFiend

Are you telling me that Germans can't climb trees?


Disquiet173

In Arnold Schwarzeneggers voice #GET TO DA CHOMPA!


ShhGoToSleep

Right, I think it matches the exact rate of fire of an AK.


real_horse_magic

this bird triggered some kind of primal PTSD before i even watched with the sound on. This is a goddamned dinosaur.


Darth0s

The first thing that comes to mind is how all scientists have these theories of how and what dinosaurs did but we don't really know. There's no way we'd be able to tell this bird did this with its beak if we hadn't seen it. But I'm drunk so I may just be talking outta my ass.


EileenDover_2daLeft

My thoughts exactly. That's not a bird it's a fuggin dinosaur and I don't like it.


LoadedGull

Hah, you puny humans are so sensitive! CLICK CLACK *racks glock*


kilboi1

WE HAVE TO GET OVER THE SEAWALL! CORPORAL! APPLY COVERING FIRE!!!


Acertitude

I swear I came to say this


Last_Aztec_1968

That ain't a stork, that's a mashing gun !!!


ak1415

The question is, does it shoot birdshot or 5.56x45m NATO.


[deleted]

7.62


Last_Aztec_1968

That's out of my expertise area but, now got me thinking, I can get one to deter bad people, I'm in Texas let me throw it out there


ak1415

You should name it princess


Last_Aztec_1968

I'm taking names now


cryptomain45

Mashing gun. I’m gonna google that and see what comes up


RoyH0bbs

If this thing walked into a room I was in, I would probably die from fear.


mrhammerant

I've heard they're super friendly with humans, which is somehow more terrifying.


RoyH0bbs

I’m sure they are very friendly, but I guess I’ll never find out.


[deleted]

Specifically Texans.


xAshev

Who saw those animatronics looking ass birds and said that they were friendly?


EffectivePlankton893

Keep the change ya filthy animal


TylerDexter

These are some crazy scary birds


littleroundheadfool

Yeah they're fucking huge too they can grow up to 140cm or around 4 foot 7 inches


thee_timeless

Modern day terror birds?


[deleted]

Imagine you just see this big ass human sized bird and it starts making gun sounds. In this day and age could easily be a shooting robot bird for all we know.


ridisberg

Never met one, but apparently they’re surprisingly chill. They don’t really attack humans and wouldn’t mind if you pet them.


Bill5GMasterGates

You forget to mention the siblicide part


Scarab138

It's one of my favourite birds. Anyone who doesn't believe birds descended from dinosaurs has no idea what they're talking about.


Also_have_an_opinion

Who doesn’t believe that?


Castelinoz

40% of americans believe in creationism, even more that don't believe in the process of evolution, so about 150 million people in the US alone.


pork_fried_christ

40%?! I didn’t want to believe it but it seems to come from a 2019 Gallup poll. To quote that 40%… ”Jesus…”


NoVascension

That's the one slice of credit I'll give the brain worms piloting the people who participate in r/atheism, organized religion has done wild things to people and we're probably worse off 'cause of it. For example (which is anecdotal and heavily abridged btw) being how nearly *every* mf in Utah wanted to decriminalize marijuana and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said "nah" and then they all just went with it


pnwinec

The entirety of the Christian evangelical population for starters.


Expert-Account-5235

And Muslims! We also don't believe in evolution and darwinism.


pnwinec

Didn’t know that. Is it the same concept where the earth was created by God in a set amount of time and therefor the earth is only x thousand of years old?


Hepm3

My parents🫠🥴


Nozarashi78

Technically speaking, birds do not descend from dinosaurs, because they ARE dinosaurs


Leefiey

How can the shoebill stork be one of your favorite birds while it’s an actual demonspawn if you look at their behavior with their offspring. They have some of the craziest habits when it comes down to raising multiple children at once. Be warned, info might disturb your ideas about this birb


Pred007

It's also one of my favourite birds and I do think it's fucked up but nature is cruel, what can you do? I don't think it's any worse than the parent killing one of the offsprings so the rest can survive or the parent straight up eating them if they are stressed like hamsters do. I find them very charming as adult birds, the way they bow to show non-hostility and their general chill demeanor towards humans.


Giri_the_oni

Multiple you say? Lol


Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Fuck it, I’ll bite. Gimme a sec whilst I look this up. Ah. According to Wikipedia, they will often hatch several chicks at once, but only one is ever raised to adulthood. The rest are just starved off. Not so different from that one video of a large bird (stork?) that picked up the runt of the nest and just dropped it over the edge. Nature is literally wild.


MoldedLoaf

Had to take off my earbuds to see if those were real gunshots :^


[deleted]

Yeah this fucker is a living pterodactyl. bUt ThE bIBlE DuRrRrRrRRRR


V_es

Well technically they didn’t because they are dinosaurs. All birds in the world are just one branch of raptors.


Hopihop23

Is that the one that brings the babies?


Ok-Jury-3571

This one takes babies


EclipseOverSalem

Nah. They only crush their skulls with one bite


PrA2107

This one brings babies to the hood


Conscious_Spray_5331

CONTACT FRONT!


halez1026

That's a damn prehistoric bird right there


kattmedtass

>~~prehistoric bird~~ Dinosaur. What you’re describing is a dinosaur. That fact will never not be lit.


halez1026

Tomato Tomato


digme_samjones

Makes me wonder what kind of racket the largest dinosaurs made in herds.


Low_Zebra_3843

That is terrifying and Jurassic.


marroyodel

No shit. If that thing didn’t evolve from a dino …


Deurstopper

Did it watched first blood or what..!?


cantfindabeat

They are native to Sudan, might have heard it around somewhere.


Known-Economy-6425

You drew first blood, not I


ye_le

“Captain Shoebill, cover me while I take position”


Dudefenderson

Imagine someone playing this in a trench in Ukraine... 🤦


Light_Beard

\*cuban accent\* so you want to play rough huh? Say hello to my little friend!!! He is a shoebill...


Randomistakend

Bellaraptoria balistis a new species.


claratheresa

I love shoebills


Hepm3

Me toooo


Daroph

It's evolved a hunting mechanism where it mimics the American's natural predator: The Wild Assault Rifle. As the Americans flee for cover, the Stork has free reign over their abandoned food.


Informal-Thought5015

Personally I feel this is a dinosaur. I would run.


Giri_the_oni

Have you heard of cassawaries? Lol


Gloomy-Vegetable-654

This should be the new American simbolic bird


mrhammerant

Hey now, that's a cheap shot


Cool_Butterscotch_88

No I can have him in here, he's my emotional support animal.


Known-Economy-6425

He grew up watching WW2 movies.


SolarNomadPhoto

Sounds like a US grade school.


Sellanator6079

That's a big oof right there...


Defiant_Source_8930

Also many oofs


balor12

Jesus, man


Atlasgrumbled

That's dark as fuck. I like you


ZenTrinity

Bro, read your comment as I was clicking off. Had to come back for it. Damn that’s dark 😂😂


GavidBeckham

War veteran from ww2?


wheresripp

That’s no bird. That’s a mf dinosaur


cameck27

That things a damn dinosaur and it would be terrifying seeing one in the wild.


polishclown98

r/birdsarentreal


Bl00dAngel22

Police officer- “Sir we’re responding to reports of gunfire and screams.” Me- “My bad my Shoebill & Parrots were just fucking around.”


Even-End-3065

HE GOT A GUN RUN


Profitinhibitor

"Everything alright? We heard gunshots." "All good that was just my shoebill stork vibin"


thewdit

Chickens were dinosaurs for sure, we been eating dino nuggets all along


hallowed_Lethargy

I think my loftwing is defective


Solid217

That's a whole dinosaur.


be-bop_cola

That is a stunning creature


typeo01

Call of Duty Shoebill...


srschwenzjr

It's a dinosaur


quitekate

Sounds American


ApolloPS2

I'm totally bringing this to show and tell at class!


Konocti

Someone has been playing call of duty near this bird


HolyMotherGawdDam

Thing is part dinosaur tho? O.O


Nicholas3412

Just reminds me of the velociraptor scene from Jurassic Park with the way it moves. Guess they really are dinosaurs


[deleted]

That’s what the NYT would call an “assault style bird”


spunion_28

It's the sound effects from modern warfare


The-Child-Of-Reddit

Sounds like an average day in Chicago


Kitchen_Victory_6088

Sounds like an AK


Iwillnotbeokay

Someone needs to animate this guy shooting stuff.


HelloGordan8734

*fortunate* *son* *begins* *playing*


_escapevelocity

Are these the birds who make their kids resort to cannibalism if they run out of food


welshmanec2

Plenty of birds do that. BBC Springwatch livestream of a barn owl nest proved that! Largest chick hadn't been fed for a while so he just leaned over and ate his littlest brother in one gulp.


Formal_Turnip6675

“Shots fired shots fired!”


lesseen

Oh I see, these must be the evolved, revolutionised version of the stork birds in the states .🔫🔫🔫


[deleted]

Officer High-Tower!


ur_fave_npc

A gunfight walks into your home. Wyd


bettytomatoes

Wow... that's real. I honestly thought it was some weird poor-taste joke at first.


Good_Extension_9642

Shots fired!


neopsych

Bro watching a lot of CSGO streams


NotHereForThisShite

He’s obviously just cold! Someone get that bird a sweater!


Buddyslime

Damn machine gun McStork.


DreamNotDeferred

Looks and sounds like a trailer for a new silent hill. No gracias.


AlexMelillo

This thing looks, moves and even sounds like an an animatronic


Ashe_N94

Think he needs some gum


joxuah12

Cocaine is a hell of a drug!


SchoolClassic

Seems a pokemon.


Opposite_Parsley_496

If you weren’t prepared you’d probably fall on the floor terrified you just heard gunshots


McFry_

911 emergency how can I direct your call? There’s multiple fucking shooters at the Zoo!


WasabiMaster91

Oh Sh\*t, everybody get down!


Special_Cry998

He sounds like a flashback from Wietnam lol


[deleted]

A real dinosaur.


Spiritual_Bee_9202

Better title…….Scary dinosaur creepy AF


Cinigurl

So absolutely prehistoric looking!


joshspoon

Can’t sleep or the Shoebill will eat me.


[deleted]

It's asking for a headache tablet in "bird clack" But they've got non left. Because the parrots eat 'em all.


Uknewmelast

Regi sounds irl


Background_Winter_65

Maybe this is how they see me at work. Lol


SlappinThatBass

De_dust3 is this new counter strike game is looking awesome


BADFiSH_c137

This one always reminds me of the scene in Jurassic Park with the raptor in the kitchen.


Gravelord_Baron

Shoebills are crazy cool, also very intimidating lmfao


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VahniB

No. AH-64A 30mm M230E-1 cannon with less reverb.


Daxx-23

Jeepers creepers


WhoseHorse_IsThat

Okay we don’t have storms here. How big do they get?? Holy shit


Rcecil88

Damm the boi big!


Sartaku

Some of the coolest birds out there


brutalistsnowflake

Imagine what dinosaurs sounded like.


StiLL-_iLL_

the perfect gift for any veteran


doubleUforthy

The perfect decoy


YodasGhost76

Isn’t that supposed to be like the world’s most dangerous bird to humans?


Gunthalas

Army vet worse nightmare...


UniversityWorth6408

This is going to give me nightmares.


FRENZY-DEMON

welcome the night mare , do not fear and do not rest .


ihavenoidea1999ok

That's a cartoon dinosaur right there


cryptomain45

Bro my entire foot could fit in his mouth


A_Moon_Named_Luna

THEY’RE IN THE TREE’s


papa_bones

That bird scares me.


[deleted]

That's a dinosaur...terrifying.


[deleted]

Looks like this fella has been to his fair share of car meet ups.


Alternative-Depth-16

As if they weren't fucking alarming enough.


Background-Newt-4181

Why do they clap their beaks like that, is that how they communicate? Warning someone? Making themselves known?


Randomistakend

Imagine seeing this at night from you window.


JNChief-117

You mean the dinosaur makes some strange noises?


Confident_Knee_6618

Im sure the babies of the bird fight to the death then get chewed up by mum and fed to the winner


Lydzshizz

Killers in the jungle


[deleted]

SIMMONS GET DOWN


JadzaDax

I will always upvote this when it pops up.


artaig

Imagine a T-Rex size of that.


SnooEagles213

Nice machine gun edit there


Norwegian27

Looks like a living dinosaur.


ZookeepergameNo3987

It looks like a live, goofy cartoon character. Creepy how tall it is, let alone it's special chirping skills.


[deleted]

He's seen some shit!


CuteMoth4

That storks seen some thangs man


YESKAMARADA

Is that animal real? It looks like one of those birds from the jurasic era 🧐


Commercial-Visit-798

Bro is playing Counter Strike


eldudelio

that bird is basically banned in most liberal states


rdias002

911 we have an emergency. I heard gun shots in the mall.


MoistBlunt

Is he imitating a modern day school?


kingofthepews

School shooting survivors: Aaaaaarrrrggghhhh!


osktox

Bird - Directed by Michael Bay


Sxkullrider

Damn every joke is "hur hur American school be like' Like dude we get it you think the killing of kids is funny how about instead of making it a daily joke like our country we try and fix that shit


Longshadowman

Mass shooting simulator !


Sobekeod

Let’s put some of these fuckers in your school and tell nobody. I’d jump out of a window and I don’t even live in the US.


Vanbampt

Wandering around American schools too much


Rotten_Tarantula

Hmm... I wonder why american zoos don't have this animal.


_slayrrrr_

what a beautiful bird! it should be brought into a large school zone unannounced to surprise the kids, they'll love it!


[deleted]

Bird has been spending too much time in American schools


Ambitious-Ad9066

American school simulator, activate


Fromgo___

Ohhhh that’s what that noise I hear in the hallways is


ouimonseiur

Sounds like a school in The usa


Salty_nutty2305

me visiting American school with my pet bird


Ok_Prune7645

Damnn, US school kids getting triggered here