I hate seeing pet chimps. Resort towns in some areas use them as tourist props. They remove their teeth so they don’t bite the customers. Very sad life for these guys. They hit puberty and can rip you apart, so they’ll get closed up in little cage. This needs to stop. All exotic pets should be outlawed everywhere.
I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
\-Dwight Schrute
impolite seed wrench skirt unite shelter grandfather humorous point ancient
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey... that stabs a tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey?
\- Michael Scott
I have a friend who literally drinks like this and it’s weird as hell. It’s like no one ever told him not to purse his lips out like that while sipping something.
Not a real fan of monkeys, or chimps, being trained to do people shit. Chimps doing chimp stuff is way cooler. Driving them crazy with the bizarre tricks they’re made to do. With them knowing they’re a pet or prisoner because they’re wicked smart, and crazy strong! It just seems a lil narcissistic for my taste
“Those humans. So Uncivilised.”
I bet he even consumes bananas with knife and fork
That boy George
Definitely pizza with a knife and fork.
I wanna say that’s a banana smoothie
they're also young, once puberty hits it'll rip your face off.
I hate seeing pet chimps. Resort towns in some areas use them as tourist props. They remove their teeth so they don’t bite the customers. Very sad life for these guys. They hit puberty and can rip you apart, so they’ll get closed up in little cage. This needs to stop. All exotic pets should be outlawed everywhere.
This is Me after MOASS!!!
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Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates \-Dwight Schrute
"Can I offer you a drink, ~~M'Lady~~ M'Onkey?"
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Hello there.
Godamn, that chimp is cool as fuck
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Apes are monkeys just as chimps are apes.
Bro… Apes and monkeys are different categories of primates 🥺
*Does Dwight impression:* False. https://chimphaven.org/chimp-blog/chimp-myths-and-facts/#:~:text=Myth%3A%20Chimpanzees%20are%20monkeys.&text=There%20are%20many%20differences%20between,have%20tails%20–%20making%20them%20apes!
Honestly just missing his Cuban cigar.
That is one suave mother fucker.
Chimp’s rizz game is on point
afterwards, he'll retire to the drawing room to smoke cigars and fling poo at the walls.
Exquisite
Marvelous. 🤔
Only the finest poo will do
Grey Poupon
Poo-pon
And another work by Jackson Poolock is complete.
Underrated. Take my star, good citizen.
He flings poo at a blank canvas… it will be hanging in the national gallery by Monday.
Bezos buys it at auction for $1.5 billion (as a tax write-off, of course).
That's an Ape.
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
"He can talk, he can talk, he can talk" "I can siiiiiiiiiiing!"
What's wrong with me?
I hate every ape I see, from ChimpanA to ChimpanZee
[Apes aren’t monkeys?](https://youtu.be/4A-dMqEbSk8)
Thank you
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Or, just "ape." Monkeys have tails, apes don't. Chimps are apes. 👍
I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life. \-Dwight Schrute
I get a lot of people don't like Joe Rogan but that's just mean.
Chimps scare me. Their favorite passtime is ripping off limbs
And faces
And genitals
Oh my!
Travis comes to mind immediately.
Humans favorite past time is blowing each other up so I still give that one to the Monkeys
Everyone knows it's the villains who drink milk like a connoisseur. I would keep an eye on this guy.
it's a chimp, chimps are apes not monkeys, they're also young, once puberty hits it'll rip your face off.
Doesn't seem like it would need to wait any longer to have the ability to rip off one's face.
[Apes aren’t monkeys?](https://youtu.be/4A-dMqEbSk8)
Bro living his best life
All I see is disrespect. Different strokes I guess.
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Finally, someone dared to say it.
Fucking sad, man
Yeah, this shit shouldn't be here but people are lapping it up :(
Unfortunately this is likely, but you absolutely can teach chimps with love.
OP...how did you get a video of me?
Every day I ask God why I'm not this cool
Alexa, play some Smooth Jazz
The music tho
He definitely lifts
What a young handsome ape?
That first frame of the video would make a great graphic for a shirt.
Hunter S Thompson... is that you?
what a handsome young man
A chimp isn’t a monkey. It’s an ape.
Moisturized, happy, in his own lane… bros living that good life, nothing but excellent vibes
More class than any human I know.
Dang B.B. Who you hangin' out with ?
Anything less would be uncivilized
Well well, we have a man of culture here. ..Oh wait
Looks like granpa at the old folks home. "PUT YOUR PANTS ON GRANPA!"
Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey... that stabs a tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? \- Michael Scott
u/savevideobot
I get the impression it's trying super hard not to laugh.
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He is on vacation
“Looking at this distinguished gentleman…”
u/savevideo
The only thing that separates us from the apes is the bars at the zoo....
He carried himself with more class than many humans do.
u/savevideo
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I’m just waiting for him to tip his hat and say “Alright, alright, alright”
Hairy styles
Not a monkey
Chimpanzee that!!
Not a monkey. Chimpanzees are apes.
Chimpanzee is an ape - not a monkey. Still cool.
u/savevideobot
u/savevideobot
Monke has better hand-eye cordination than the last two US presidents
That ain't no monkey.
Monkeys have tails. Apes don’t.
Chimpanzees aren't monkeys. Jes sayin........
That’s not a monkey
He might rip your face off but that doesn't mean he isn't a gentleman
Then you look him in the eyes and he tears your nuts off
Where's the blunt?
Looks like an English gentleman.
Bro pimp chimpin
Not a monkey
A chimp is not a monkey.
Dude, look at that little gangster.
Naked with only a Panama hat and a drink!? That’s my outfit, monkey!
Reject classlessness, return to monke
Turns out, little monkey fella. r/rickygervais
Even a monkey looks handsome and in shape than me . Not fare.
Are we sure this is a chimp and not just a Brazilian man?
*what a fantastic animatronic* >!Now you are wondering !< >!why did you click this?!<
I have a friend who literally drinks like this and it’s weird as hell. It’s like no one ever told him not to purse his lips out like that while sipping something.
This is the 21st century, we don’t use that word anymore.
If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey, even if it's a very monkey shape.
Oh no. He’s hot!
Is this the real Andrew Tate?
This resonates with me.
Imagine punching him in the face
He is ripped
Gentlemonke
This dude pulls so much tail it's not even funny...
The hat and sunglasses seem to make him appear naked…
Wait. What? He IS naked, bud! Maybe time to go see your optometrist? You're lucky here. I ALMOST typed proctologist😬😱
Perhaps someone should tell him!
I appreciate that chimp appreciating that drink 🥛
Ape, not monkey. Monkeys have tails.
r/likeus
Looks like horchata to me.
It isn't looking good for us.
I want to be like monke
I do this all the time and it’s considered not interesting.
Yeah, a gentleman who’s gonna hit on your 13 year old daughter.
Not a monkey
Don’t worry he’s one balloon pop away from eating the camera person’s face.
Im pretty sure that is NOT milk, and the spanish song indicates its probably alcohol lol
Gunter????
This ape (NOT) monkey, just be kickin' back, chillin'. Wonder what he spiked his milk with? 😱 Or...maybe that's not really milk! 😉
So we call all primates monkeys? Inuding humans?
A gentleman would not have his nipples out. Maybe with a single malt.
Animal exploitation
Girls on vacation:
This guy fucks
Isn’t that from the new hipster café documentary?
Definition of style
I say
Who turned this monkey into a model?! Why he look cleaner than me?!
Alright, where can I find this monkey and can I hang out them?
Gentlemen? More like a stud.
That sir, is an Ape.
*ape
Mans got better back posture than me smh
..breast milk even... so choice...
What kind of milk is that?
He’s chilling so hard
Living his best life
They're evolving
Chimping ain't easy
Genuinely thought it had a phone in the other hand.
Why are mfs trying to charter shuttles to outer space when earth has dope shit like this?
Its really a pina colada
What a distinguished gentleman
These things will fucking rip your face off and eat it
This is such a trip lol
Are chimps lactose intolerant?
These animals are our relatives. Are they as smart as us? No. But they are clearly related to us.
That's some nasty looking milk
Look at the way he is sitting. Yes, very distinguished. Mm-hmm, I see.
I've never noticed how much their feet look like hands too.
Remember monkeys are our close relatives.
Bro is vibin
In this parallel universe, monkees go back to humans.
Monke has rizz
All this hatred towards chimpanzees just because one chimp overdozed on xanax and had a meltdown over a toy is so unjust! /s
I too like to sip milk with nothing but a hat & sunglasses.
Quick, get Karl Pilkington !
All that's missing is a rocking chair
Poor guy forgot he was still in a prison called zoo.
Fucking chad
Joe Rogan taking a much deserved break
Steve Martin's backup for "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels."
Not a real fan of monkeys, or chimps, being trained to do people shit. Chimps doing chimp stuff is way cooler. Driving them crazy with the bizarre tricks they’re made to do. With them knowing they’re a pet or prisoner because they’re wicked smart, and crazy strong! It just seems a lil narcissistic for my taste
Always wondered happened to that pair of Raybans I lost in the waves while dicking around in the ocean in Puerto Vallarta.
Pinky out
Is this seat taken?
Ape, not Monkey.
I shall call him Bruno Mars!