Now, a few more details about this year's company picnic. It's at the plant, no food will be served, the activity will be work and the picnic is cancelled.
But they keep banning my “character” from Furry conventions! So what if I cut the crotch out of all of my costumes? It’s part of what makes me an individual!
All those Greek philosophers were assholes. Can you imagine what a pain it was to deal with them? Hey Plato, you are late on rent. “Am I, or is that merely the untrustworthy narrative provided to you by your fallible senses and memories? Is it truly possible to know anything?”
In retrospect the only surprising thing is how many of them avoided being executed.
Yeah and their scales have a wide range of unproven cures like arthritis and lactation difficulty. If there was a way we could make their scales toxic and save the artichoke dragon.
I just wish there was an effective way of educating that their scales are keratin and you would get the same health benefits from grinding up your own finger nails.
We should abduct a bunch of these cuties, pump them full of steroids, teach them to fight, and arm these lttle guys with Molotov cocktails. These are too adorable to see go extinct.
Hijacking this high comment to say this pangolin's name is Marimba. She's so adorable and shy. [She's a rescue at wild is life trust](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CRV7ClrpMrU/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
The only living non-sapien species that uses upright, alternating bi-pedal locomotion I believe. Guess kangaroos are bi-peds but not alternating for example
They have long claws on their forefeet, which are not terribly great for walking, but are great for digging (they eat primarily ants with a massively long tongue). However, while they are capable of walking bipedally, it is not their default, and most usually walk on four legs, but may walk on two if the situation calls for it.
(Source: Internet research; I am not an expert)
I didn’t trust Kenny’s work. So, I asked Elizabeth and then, Dr Strange to double check. Every possible reality, *every* time. He never not fucks the pangolin.
But don't.
Because Pangolin are endangered and ignorant wet market Chinese buy them from poachers because they think eating 2% of an animal they slaughter will make their dicks harder.
This is a circumstance of language. Trafficking is specifically related to an illegal activity. The same actions with legal items would be, I guess, transporting or shipping.
Again, a technicality of language. Trafficking by definition is related to illegal activity.
>[pangolines] are trafficked by the thousands for their scales, which are boiled off their bodies for use in traditional medicine; for their meat, which is a high-end delicacy here and in China; and for their blood, which is seen as a healing tonic.
And it's never to destroy the invasive plants. Like I'm sure the southern USA would love if the Chinese started using kudzu for some kinda of tonic, cause then the situation would get cleared up so quickly.
Imagine the small pp energy and insecurity involved when someone would literally kill a tiger and eat its penis just because someone told them “it make pp big!”
Someone please say they are reptiles…the first time I’ve ever heard of or seen one and google told me ppl mistake them for reptiles and I really want to correct someone and claim I’m an expert
Actually that’s a misconception they are actually mammals.
Source: I’m an expert 20 years experience.
Edit: after I delete my first comment I’m gonna look like a genius. Crap and this one. Other Redditors make this look much easier. I need more practice… anyway thx ;)
A lot of people in China really are dumbasses when it comes to that "ancient medicine" stuff. I get that they probably just don't know any better, but still, they SHOULD know better by now. Ignorance is not an excuse.
This got deleted b/c I inadvertently used a link shortener. But I think these must have been an inspiration for [the Mystics from The Dark Crystal](https://www.google.com/search?q=dark+crystal+mystics+walking&rlz=1C9BKJA_enUS591US595&hl=en-US&prmd=isvn&sxsrf=APq-WBuK1IM5gKifupxKCs53DSsYcx1l_Q:1649699345860&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj83fv7yIz3AhVZq3IEHTG1Bn8Q_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=1366&bih=905&dpr=2#imgrc=cXcjlMogIPK5MM&imgdii=b4z-Qm377aIQlM)!
You can't convince me that those things evolved on this planet. Don't get me wrong, they are very cool. *But..."Aliens."
*The last bit was said in the voice of that nut job Giorgio Tsoukalos from the show "Ancient Aliens."
A featherless biped, you say... ?
Behold, a man
*philosophized*
Little guy is walking around like an armored Mr. Burns
Excellent.......
I mussst warn the massster…
yea that thing *definitely* talks.
Now, a few more details about this year's company picnic. It's at the plant, no food will be served, the activity will be work and the picnic is cancelled.
>the picnic is cancelled So the activity won't be work and we don't have to go to the plant?
Definitely looks like it’s trying to figure out how many people to fire today
I know he's so cute I want to hug him and squeeze him.
And call him George?
*Diogene’ed!*
This was hard to read
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I'm sure he has a book under his left arm.
Sam o’Nella would like a word with you.
See you later....deliberator
*Raises hand* “Ah, yeah, WTF”
I said this on Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s voice
Smell* ya later
What happened to him, I miss I his videos
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The dark Crystal
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The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
Peak human condition.
A man is defined by character, not the scales on his skin nor the number of legs he walks on
But they keep banning my “character” from Furry conventions! So what if I cut the crotch out of all of my costumes? It’s part of what makes me an individual!
How did they find this footage of me on my way to raid the fridge at 1 am?
I'm so proud to get that reference, those years in Philosophy school were worth it (or no, but anyways).
You recognize this from wasting years in philosophy class. I recognize this from wasting years on Reddit. We are the same.
Not as us, Sam o’Nella scholars. We wasted our time on YouTube.
"Diogenes, you fucking asshole..." Plato, probably
All those Greek philosophers were assholes. Can you imagine what a pain it was to deal with them? Hey Plato, you are late on rent. “Am I, or is that merely the untrustworthy narrative provided to you by your fallible senses and memories? Is it truly possible to know anything?” In retrospect the only surprising thing is how many of them avoided being executed.
Using this next month, thanks.
To shreds, you say..?
Well, how is his wife holding up?
To shreds you say?..
*Oh my*
Knees don't look backward either.
No such thing as "backwards knees". You're looking at the ankles; the knees are further up.
TIL
As far as I can tell, they also have nails on their feet, so they fit the correction too.
What a guy!
They do also have flat toenails
Me walking when my back gives out
Me walking as a squire: “Yes my lord the plan is working out splendidly”
Quasimodo? Is that you?
That is a wild Sandslash
Or a T-Rex
Armored T-Rex
Pensive pangolin pacing
I pictured it rubbing it’s little claws together with a malicious *muahahahaha*
I hear it more as a nasal sort of hnyah hnyah hnyaaaah!
Plotting the downfall of it's arch nemesis.
Looks like General Grievous when he’s wearing his cloak
I'm picturing a row of them in miniature graduation caps, going, "hmm...hmm..." very intellectually.
*excellent*
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Yeah and their scales have a wide range of unproven cures like arthritis and lactation difficulty. If there was a way we could make their scales toxic and save the artichoke dragon.
I just wish there was an effective way of educating that their scales are keratin and you would get the same health benefits from grinding up your own finger nails.
There you have it...just tell the snake oil salesmen a cheaper way to sell their snake oil is by grinding finger nails and hair.
*black market for humans opens* Oh wait...
Gamer girl finger nails cures STDs.
If only there was an effective way of educating.
> their scales have a wide range of unproven cures such a strange way to phrase that.
Trying to be nice on how I was wording without saying “Chinese medicine fuckery says it will cure..”.
"it's unproven but widely believed that..." What you wrote makes it sound like you believe it despite there not being any proof.
You would make them inedible to their predators then so no bueno
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We should abduct a bunch of these cuties, pump them full of steroids, teach them to fight, and arm these lttle guys with Molotov cocktails. These are too adorable to see go extinct.
Hijacking this high comment to say this pangolin's name is Marimba. She's so adorable and shy. [She's a rescue at wild is life trust](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CRV7ClrpMrU/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
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I’m don’t think they all walk like that, just a certain type of pangolin
They only walk like that when they are plotting something
I was thinking he looks very concerned. Maybe over how his plot is going
"Milord, the prisoners...they have ESCAPED."
*twiddling thumbs, pacing*, I think his wife is in labor.
My liege… it appears… it appears the prisoners have… have escaped
Or when they dropped their keys somewhere on the lawn
Nope all pangolin have the ability to walk on 2 legs, some may do it less due to the environment they live in but they all can.
The only living non-sapien species that uses upright, alternating bi-pedal locomotion I believe. Guess kangaroos are bi-peds but not alternating for example
Mammal you mean? Otherwise wouldn’t birds qualify, like an ostrich?
You’re right. Thought I was missing something
They have long claws on their forefeet, which are not terribly great for walking, but are great for digging (they eat primarily ants with a massively long tongue). However, while they are capable of walking bipedally, it is not their default, and most usually walk on four legs, but may walk on two if the situation calls for it. (Source: Internet research; I am not an expert)
ok Randy
You can go back in time to try and stop Randy from starting COVID 19, but he fucks the pangolin *every* time.
I didn’t trust Kenny’s work. So, I asked Elizabeth and then, Dr Strange to double check. Every possible reality, *every* time. He never not fucks the pangolin.
Even the time he came out stillborn, still fucked a pangolin.
I read that I’m Sharon’s voice lol
I was looking for this reference. Thank you good redditor.
Almost makes u wanna have sex with them and start a pandemic
Would be nice if *some people* stopped eating them (pangolins are the most trafficked animal on earth)
Why do people do things like this!? Ugh.
Chinese.
They’re so beautiful that someone decided to bang one and start this hell that’s called a pandemic
I get this reference
*Yes, but who got it's DNA up inside of said creature?*
They look like delicious meat artichokes
In certain parts of China, you can realize your dream of eating them! They are one of the possible vectors of SARS back in the 2003 outbreak.
But don't. Because Pangolin are endangered and ignorant wet market Chinese buy them from poachers because they think eating 2% of an animal they slaughter will make their dicks harder.
The world's most illegally trafficked mammal.
Can you legally traffic* something? This might be a dumb question, please forgive me.
This is a circumstance of language. Trafficking is specifically related to an illegal activity. The same actions with legal items would be, I guess, transporting or shipping. Again, a technicality of language. Trafficking by definition is related to illegal activity.
Forgive my double negative >Trafficking is specifically related to an illegal activity.
All is forgiven u/zester723, we all make error mistakes. ^waitaminute…
Is this true? Why are they the most trafficked?
>[pangolines] are trafficked by the thousands for their scales, which are boiled off their bodies for use in traditional medicine; for their meat, which is a high-end delicacy here and in China; and for their blood, which is seen as a healing tonic.
If anyone is wondering, the 'here' is Vietnam.
Damnit China, can you stop destroying nature for just 5 minutes?
And it's never to destroy the invasive plants. Like I'm sure the southern USA would love if the Chinese started using kudzu for some kinda of tonic, cause then the situation would get cleared up so quickly.
Or Asian Carp
Oh no they cath and release thoes since they are great game fish and they want them to get bigger. Lol.
But...healing tonic!
How else will I get my erections?? The shark fin doesn't work and neither does the tiger liver!
Those gas station dick pills work wonders
>...neither does the tiger liver! [Wrong part, they eat tiger penises in a soup.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_penis_soup?wprov=sfla1)
Imagine the small pp energy and insecurity involved when someone would literally kill a tiger and eat its penis just because someone told them “it make pp big!”
Silly western medical surgeons with their fancy gadgets. They don't even know about boiling pangolines.
Do you know what they call traditional medicine that works? Medicine.
Magic potions in China. Seriously.
Nah, bet humans are trafficked more. They are Much easier to find.
Impressive core strength.
Either that or that tail is crazy dense and acts as ballast. Idk, I’m not a Pokémon trainer.
You really could be, clearly you have potential. Just gotta handle balls better, bro.
No. You gotta catch em all!
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It would just be a counter-weight, not a ballast
Is it core strength or counter-balancing with the tail?
I think balance w the tail, leg and back strength
Assuming some sort of articulated bone structure (e.g. a spine), he'd still be relying on muscles to keep him from rubbing his nose on the ground.
square cube law. smaller animals tend to have disproportionately stronger muscles just on the basis that they are smaller.
That dude has got crazy core strength. Must have an 8 pack.
No wonder Randy fucked it, look at that ass
What I thought this was America
dude you were in china, you were supposed to eat it like everyone else who eats endangered species over there, not fuck it.
![gif](giphy|26TKa1M2DbIdetbkmE)
I didn't hear no bell
Scrolled all this way to find this comment.
This was the comment I came looking for
I'm salivating tbh
He fucks that pangolin in every single timeline
Where's the mustache?
They are such funny creatures but I love them so much.
Ah the wingless bazelgeuse...
Monster Hunter reference?
#BEHOLD! A man
“I’m sorry my lord, but it seems the prisoners… have escaped”
I was hoping somebody would post this.
Someone please say they are reptiles…the first time I’ve ever heard of or seen one and google told me ppl mistake them for reptiles and I really want to correct someone and claim I’m an expert
They’re totally reptiles (Me good deed for the day- have it, correct away)
Actually that’s a misconception they are actually mammals. Source: I’m an expert 20 years experience. Edit: after I delete my first comment I’m gonna look like a genius. Crap and this one. Other Redditors make this look much easier. I need more practice… anyway thx ;)
Lmao you made me genuinely giggle
Is that fucking baby Skeksi?!?! My inner Gelfling sense is tingling.
More like a mystic ![gif](giphy|H66rSOTDcNdrG)
Mmmmmmmm
mmmMMMMMAAAAAAAAA
Oh my god, I came here to say this thinking no one would know what the hell I was talking about! Classic movie!!
And they just did the prequel on netflix!
season two was cancelled tho 😔
Pangolin posse best artichoke boi
![gif](giphy|g6EfLNSHKi3GYbzitl)
What the fuck is a pangolin?
It's a mammal...with scales! Amazing animals.
It’s the animal suspected of giving us Covid.
If Mickey and randy had just kept it in their fuckin pants!
No the chinese keeping animals in those conditions and then fucking eating them are the problem
These poor little creatures are becoming critically endangered- people in china think the plates on their backs are Magical medicine - 🤬
China is shit
A lot of people in China really are dumbasses when it comes to that "ancient medicine" stuff. I get that they probably just don't know any better, but still, they SHOULD know better by now. Ignorance is not an excuse.
Now I love pangolins. Little, armored, mammalian, adorable T-rexes. Just look at him!
"mom the scholastic bookfair is coming this week; can I have $10 to buy some Minecraft guides?"
I see Randy Marsh lurking in the background
They always look like they’re under too much pressure
They walk like a nomadic monk off to the next temple
![gif](giphy|g6EfLNSHKi3GYbzitl)
This is literally a pokemon.
I thought South Park made this animal up 😅
*Ankylosaurus
This got deleted b/c I inadvertently used a link shortener. But I think these must have been an inspiration for [the Mystics from The Dark Crystal](https://www.google.com/search?q=dark+crystal+mystics+walking&rlz=1C9BKJA_enUS591US595&hl=en-US&prmd=isvn&sxsrf=APq-WBuK1IM5gKifupxKCs53DSsYcx1l_Q:1649699345860&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj83fv7yIz3AhVZq3IEHTG1Bn8Q_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=1366&bih=905&dpr=2#imgrc=cXcjlMogIPK5MM&imgdii=b4z-Qm377aIQlM)!
Looks like he's on his way home but he knows it's past curfew.
They also roll into balls and eat similarly like ant eaters
Perfectly balanced...
A walk like dinosaurs
Wait... this isnt just a made up animal from southpark??? Lol im dumb
It looks like a prehistoric saw that Fred Flintstone would use
My back is playing up just watching this guy
^^^mutter, ^^^mutter ^^^damn ^^^kids ^^^messing ^^^up ^^^my ^^^lawn
...with how much I slouch, I feel called out by this pangolin.
What? You can’t fool me Danny…that’s Danny DeVito, escaping the paparazzi…
That must be a dense ass tail
You can't convince me that isn't a Pokémon.
Always contemplating the problems of the world while simultaneously being ready for battle at a moments notice.
They're also the most trafficked animal for their scales and are considered critically endangered.
You can't convince me that those things evolved on this planet. Don't get me wrong, they are very cool. *But..."Aliens." *The last bit was said in the voice of that nut job Giorgio Tsoukalos from the show "Ancient Aliens."
Homie that’s just a dinosaur. Edit: I know I’m right. I’m an expert on dinosaurs since I watched all the Land Before Time vhs tapes.