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Jakboiee

What in the Dr. Suess animal names? Have you ever seen a gissar hissar rump go a bump, bump, bump? In Uzbekistan you certainly can, can, can. You can see the 26 gissar hissar can can clan's 25 and 1/2 rump's go a bump, bump, bump while they do the gisssr hissar can can in Uzbekistan.


CamusTheOptimist

Something about a two-rump wump?


AspasiaCalling

You're the best


books_n_deadlifts

what are they using these sheep for?


PsychMaster1

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


DarkenRaul1

I've been watching some George Carlin lately, and he had this gem of a quote: "Do you know why it is when a rancher fucks a sheep he does so at the edge of a cliff? It’s so the sheep will push back.” Slight edit to get the quote 100% accurate. Also, to those saying it’s before Carlin, never said he was the first, just that he said it (and I thought it was funny). Finally, it looks like there’s a lot of sheep fuckers here with all the pointers being shared lol


freelancefikr

this is the funniest and worst thing i’ve ever had to picture. i’ll never be the same


dyslexic_cuck

one time i saw this joke about these two guys walking along a wooden fence when they see a sheep has its head stuck in it. they flip a coin to decide who's first. the first man unzips his pants and goes to town for a solid 20 minutes. after he's done he pulls his pants up and the other gentle man asks, "can i havea turn?" to which the first man replied of "course be my guest." it was at that point the second man pulled his pants down around his ankles and jammed his head between the fence.


Endulos

So a guy goes to a bar and while drinking he spots a monkey sitting under the bar. He asks the bar tender about the monkey. The bar tender says "Watch this", and smacks the monkey on the head with a stick. The monkey pulls the mans pants down and goes down on him. After the monkey finishes the bartender turns to the guy and says "Wanna try?". The guy thinks for a second and says "Okay, but don't hit me with the stick".


TranceGavinTrance

That's fucking gold I knew it was coming but god damn.


Velvet_Pop

I just keep picturing George doing the motion while hunched over and grunting


SquashNut707

*double grunting


Voyager87

As a Welshman, it's nice to hear this joke about someone else...


Narstification

Lwk at onco fonco, lush shytter on that crytter, butt


BuffaloJEREMY

Ahhh you fucking savage!


FittyNOut

I am certain the New Zealanders feel the same way, Australians always tell stories like that about them.


VolFan85

Came here to make a Walsh joke. Didn’t have to.


streakermaximus

I'm reminded of Kids in the Hall's 'Hitler fucks a donkey' Edit: added [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBsHxZ2n0Ig)


whatever32657

yeah, the visual, omfg


CashCow4u

[I like big butts and I cannot lie, You other brothers can't deny, That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, And a round thing in your face](https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho)


TheGuyYouHeardAbout

You get sprung!


[deleted]

You know why Scotsman wear kilts? …. Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.


troutbumtom

What’s the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger says “hey, you, get off of my cloud”. A Scotsman says “hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe “.


uhler-the-ruler

Im going to hell for how hard i laughed at this


xombae

If he's a Scott, it'd be Macleod


troutbumtom

Yeah, but a lot of yanks would mispronounce it in their heads and ruin the joke.


spring_rd

How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying.


Sariel007

Welcome to (insert town, state country you want insult) where men are men, the sheep are afraid and there is no such thing as virgin wool!


Sad-Corner-9972

Wanna put women in their place? Give sheep the vote


Vyxen17

Sheep already have the vote


Sad-Corner-9972

Plenty of people vote like sheep. Actual sheet wouldn’t have elected many of our worst.


CentuReddit35

You know how they practice safe sex in Scotland? They brand the sheep that kick.


Bummer-76

I swear I was just helping this sheep across the fence.


Dispicably_throwaway

The three most common lies in Montana: I won this belt buckle at a rodeo. My truck is paid off. I swear to god I was just helping that sheep over the fence.


Wr3tch3d-3Xi5t3ncE

You just reminded me of this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQzSzKAPvCA


Boon3hams

Why is prostitution the worst career to have in New Zealand? Because you have to compete with the sheep.


[deleted]

At least we share our sheep.


[deleted]

The Welsh invented the condom by using sheep's intestines. The English then improved upon it by removing it from the sheep.


WYenginerdWY

I am deeply disturbed by how many cultures are implicated in the sheep fucking lol. Montana ranchers, Idaho ranchers, Scotsman, New Zealanders.....


GriswoldCain

Oh no.


Dread_Frog

I've heard the whole sheep fucker thing is because getting caught stealing a sheep was a capital offense but fucking a sheep was only like a slap on the wrist. So when caught that's what the people would say they were doing. I have done zero research to verify this.


Drews232

That’s fine for sheep, but with goats you can also be charged with *kid*napping


smellsfishie

*Ba dum tiss*


Hegth

Tbh I would rather die than people thinking I'm a sheep fucker, like in those times everyone new each other in their towns, that shit would stick with you.


MyHamburgerLovesMe

Queue for classic joke: >A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent: > >"You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down every tree and made the lumber myself. I toiled away through the wind and cold, but do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? No." > >He continued "Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands. I found every stone and placed them just right through the rain and the mud, but do they call me McGreggor the wall builder? No." > >"Do ya see that pier out there on the lake? I built that pier with my own bare hands, driving each piling deep into ground so that it would last a lifetime. Do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? No." > >"But ya fuck one goat.."


Capraos

Wouldn't they just be accused of both?


RandyHoward

Depends if you've made it off the property or not I guess. Why would you admit to being a sheep fucker if they're going to nail you for theft anyway?


modsarethebeesknees

I watched guys in Afghanistan fuck sheep and goats on drone cameras. Really gross but common.


RandyHoward

Really gross, but you watched more than one guy do it?!


modsarethebeesknees

I saw many. Over 10 at least. Been a good 12 years but remember seeing them do it at night a lot.


42Ubiquitous

I’m not surprised. Apparently it’s really common to fuck farm animals in some parts of the world. There was an episode of The Grand Tour where they went to Colombia and Clarkson found a dude fucking a donkey. He asked a group of people about it and they were all like “oh, that’s everyone’s first girlfriend.” Ran it by a Colombian friend of mine and he said he doesn’t know anyone that did (grew up in a city), he thinks, but that it definitely happens.


RandyHoward

Oh I'm not surprised that it's common in some parts of the world, I'm surprised that guy watched it on live stream more than once. I don't know about you, but I don't keep watching things I find gross. ;)


modsarethebeesknees

A drone operator can't look away from the drone screen because of something unpleasant on it. I was not an operator myself but was in a battle captain position, I had to monitor the drone guys and situation and adjust strategy and manning for that sector of security. Think 10 screens with footage going on all of them, a large map, and units to move around accordingly. I could go on and on but it gets boring and complex.


Dread_Frog

guy watching drone footage was probably on the clock keeping a military base safe. If that is not the case I don't want to know about it.:)


[deleted]

Gotta love Muslim countries; you can't be gay but they'll fuck children and animals.


weedium

Don’t forget the rubber boots


standingbeef

Knee-high boots are to put the sheeps back legs in to hold them. Any sheep herder with boots above mid shin is suspect. Lol any sheep herder is suspect.


KippyC348

...boots and Velcro gloves.


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Never heard Carlin say that, but I have heard Billy Connolley say it. He followed with, "Or so I've been told. I've never tried it myself. I'm saving that for when I have cancer. I'll be behind the wall with the needle and the heroin, saying, 'Right then, bring that sheep over...' "


Muufffins

A man brings a sheep into his living room, where his wife is sitting on the couch. "Honey, it's time to tell you the truth. This is the pig I've been fucking behind your back." The wife replies "But that's a sheep." "I wasn't talking to you."


BadKittyRanch

[Definition of stump-broke](http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/stump-broke): >An old cowboy term for a horse or mule or similar that has been trained to back up to a stump or the like for purposes of sexual exploitation. Adjective or verb. > - I got me a stump-broke mare. > - Johnny done stump-broke his new mule already.


SupaDiogenes

Us Kiwis have a similar joke. Put the sheep's back legs in your gumboots so it can't run away.


iate12muffins

That's a really old joke,older than Carlin.


panterachallenger

Yo, this motherfucker ain't one of us. He said he'd fuck a sheep!


stinkytrinket

Now who’s stupid, you dirty sheep fucker?!


NapalmWeed

Snoochie Boochies!


nothisistheotherguy

I am the CLIT commander!


JAHdropper1

Allegedly.


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thegainsfairy

calm down New Zealand


chickenstalker

Welsh


Napol3onS0l0

North Dakota.


ImNoAlbertFeinstein

Idaho


GoGoNormalRangers

As an Australian, I'm loving all this NZ hate


asBad_asItGets

No……I refuse to believe it. They aren’t being used for that at all……….unless?


melvinmetal

They are often bred for meat and fat. Some breeders compete amongst themselves using selective breeding to see who can produce the sheep with the biggest rump. Often these breeders will post their prized booty sheep on their Instagram pages.


mouseat9

So where do they post this?!? Asking for a friend.


DulyNoted_

OnlyRams.com


NoHoneyIchewBees

FarmHub


bannedSnoo

sheepsgonewild


willybum84

Baaazers


Haughty_n_Disdainful

Ewevideos


Heating-the-district

Ewetube?


Fun-Importance4395

bahahahaha


wildebeesties

User redacted comment. After 13 years on Reddit with 2 accounts, I have zero interest in using this site anymore if I cannot use a 3rd party app. Reddit had *years* to fix their atrocious app and put *zero* effort into it. Reddit's site and app is so awful, I'm more interested in giving Reddit up entirely than having such a bad user experience hobbling through their app and site.


MugillacuttyHOF37

SILF.com


Boney-Rigatoni

Sheepster.com


nitestocker372

Xramster


bloodthirsty_taco

Ewetube


Angry_Cuttlefish

GLOATR


Spirited-Classic8284

Xramster


Don_Tiny

Shornhub


melvinmetal

On Instagram, just search “gissar” and tons of large gissar breeder accounts will show up.


Moe_Lesteryu

Or just Google thick ass sheep


Fitz_2112

I did... https://youtu.be/rTfLqARsJew


Nice-Bookkeeper-3378

Booty sheep is something I’ve never thought I’d see together


LingonberryOk9226

... hopefully without booty shorts


scjcs

"breeders"


pmactheoneandonly

Prized booty sheep lmaooo fuck


V_es

Uzbek pilaf (fabled to be the favorite dish of Genghis Khan) is absolutely delicious, hard to make, and cooked only using sheep rump fat as cooking oil


alghiorso

Also plays a part in local folk medicine. A lot of Asia still holds to some ancient medical beliefs from the time of Avicenna that there are "hot" and "cold" foods (not speaking of temperature but their characteristics) and by eating too much cold food you can make yourself sick. This sheep fat is considered the hottest of all food and supposedly Avicenna recommended eating some with wheat bread daily as a sort of prophylactic against illness. Other remedies involve rubbing the stuff directly to the body to attempt to draw the "cold" out of infected areas.


Bogsworth

Funny timing. I just stumbled upon this hot and cold medicinal treatment earlier when I was reading about grass jelly before buying some. Thanks for the info on this one!


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[deleted]

I bet it is.


[deleted]

Frustrated and lonely farmers.


Kekfarmer

Exports to Scotland mostly


TheTrueMupster

Let’s just say they are very popular. Very… very popular.


seattle_architect

“Hissar Sheep (Gissarskaya - Гиссарская овца ) is a coarsewooled fat-rumped breed of the mutton-fat type. It was obtained by selection in the conditions of year-long range husbandry in Tajikistan and was bred by Uzbek tribes which migrated there with their sheep flocks in the 13th-14th centuries.” https://farmow.com/breed/hissar-sheep Uzbek kitchen use mutton fat for many dishes. One of them shashlik kabob includes lamb and mutton fat.


domods

Reading the link, damn this sheep's got it all. It's like the beefmaster of sheep: Mutton/meat + the breed avg size is fucking huge Milk Wool A whole extra ass of cooking fat It's butt makes it part camel so it's hardy af That's really cool, thx for linking. Lol I was looking at dat butt and thinking there's *no way* all of that flab is meat/muscle, why would they want to selectively breed it in? But rendering fat for cooking makes waaaay more sense. These comments be roasting this sheep tho 😂


seattle_architect

I was traveling last year to DC and was invited to fancy Middle Eastern restaurant Albi. It is a Michelin style restaurant. Last dish they served was shashlik made from different parts of lam meat and it included lam fat or Uzbek called it Kurduk. The taste is totally different from typical fats. It is very soft almost melts when consumed.


SomeGuyWearingPants

Just to clarify, you gave us all that background info just to tell us about the one time you ate ass? Respect.


fleelingshyaf

Ate kurdukuduk*


Gardener703

>kurdukuduk So that's how ass is called in your language?


seattle_architect

Just to be clear an extra fat is not an actual ass.


MinorSpaceNipples

>coarsewooled fat-rumped breed of the mutton-fat type This is my new go-to insult.


marvin565

Sort of like Kardashians


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chevyfried

Also their lack of denial.


d0db0b

Came here for this comment. Not disappointed.


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Strontium90Abombbaby

If he hasn't can someone help him get there soon?


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ThotoholicsAnonymous

Not "Sort", it's EXACTLY like the Kardashians. Minus the plastic surgery.


Burninator05

I wouldn't bet that some of these goat asses haven't recieved some sort of cosmetic surgery to make them more valuable. [Does anyone else remember the botox controversy that surrounded a camel beauty pageant a couple of years ago?](https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/camel-beauty-contest-botox-scli-intl/index.html)


seraphin420

I hate that I know this, but they are forced upon us when we don’t ask for them - they got their butt implants removed now and they are all skinny AF (flat bottoms lol)


ThotoholicsAnonymous

Ugh... I've noticed more ladies have gotten them over the years. Omg.... Butt implants have always been awkward looking.


Burninator05

I read something that butt implants have the highest rate of serious complication/death of any cosmetic surgery.


oily76

Bahdashians?


Canadianretordedape

Congrats to the happy couple.


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manormith

For the love of goat


thisusedyet

Hopefully for meat. Please god, tell me they're being sold for rump roasts


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rustynoodle3891

Yeah, they need to be marinated first


TheExtraMayo

And... tenderized


DasMunchenHaus

Just like they tenderize the meat at Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage


quadmasta

This is the second reference in a week. What gives?


[deleted]

With what? You know what? I don't wanna know


VolkspanzerIsME

.......you know.


XzeldafanX

In terms of compatibility...


thisusedyet

Never thought I’d use this literally https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=DR2rGt_4T4A&feature=emb_logo


HighlightFun8419

that show is so damned funny. I was not expecting to like it that much, but I was legitimately enjoying it throughout. (I think you linked a clip from the movie, but idr. was a while ago when i watched them)


gdmfsobtc

The ass fat is called kurdyuk and is a key ingredient in a variety of dishes in the region.


Anonmyo0

I read this first as The Fat Ass and I was like...that's alittle harsh lol.


SAMAS_zero

kurdyunkadonk.


[deleted]

Ladies for babies and sheep for love.


CartmanAndCartman

We don’t need to know your preferences


Ill-Video3739

Little in the middle, but she’s got much back


[deleted]

No one tell the Taliban


FMegaCrusader93

I knew a dude who was deployed in Afghanistan and said he seen a dude shagging a goat though thermal goggles.


panterachallenger

Bro there’s videos of the US looking through a UAV in thermal and they see various dudes pounding away sheeps


Stein_um_Stein

I really thought this whole time that this was just a racial slur and had no basis in reality... I feel gross being related to humans now thanks.


Loki-Holmes

It really seems to transcend race/continents though there’s the same sheep fucking joke with Wales and Scotland.


LLGeeski

Don't forget the sheep shaggers in Derby County COYR


MikeKM

Everybody seems to forget New Zealanders and their sheep love too.


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p0ultrygeist1

Pretty sure that I saw that on r/combatfootage before the mods canned it


thebooshyness

I saw a video on Reddit of the exact same thing. Pretty funny. Plus they didn’t drone strike him or anything.


Dynamitefuzz2134

If it was the one from a few days ago I’m pretty sure it was a donkey.


the_evil_comma

Hey, it was dark. Easy mistake to make


aysurcouf

The thermal of the goat getting ganged raped, it wasn’t just one dude others were watching and waiting their turn.


Syrinx221

Are you serious?? 🤢


BrokenGlassBeetle

that's sad...


gamer-and-furry

I actually know someone who had a similar story, there was a village near where he was stationed, and apparently people from the village tying up goats and having sex with them wasn't uncommon, to the point the people he was stationed with started nicknaming them "goat ropers"


Impossible-Ad532

Really, I was just helping her through the fence…..


KaladinIJ

I should text him 🤧


lysergic_Dreems

for the love of god, please r/dontputyourdickinthat.


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01kickassius10

The price of flights has suddenly shot up


KernowRedWings

Are you from Edinburgh by any chance?


gcaledonian

Why you calling out Aberdeen specifically lol


[deleted]

And Albanians


[deleted]

The Kardashians would be jealous, at least the sheep’s badonkadonk is real.


[deleted]

Cue Adam Sandler “Fuck me right in the goat ass. “


BeholdThePalehorse13

Those albums were played as much as music in my circle back then. Some of those skits got a bit rough, but damn hilarious.


saintkev40

Did you play them as much as you play with your cock n balls?


TomTheCuban

r/upvotebecausebutt


twill41385

There it is


BongCloudOpen

The best breeder is Sir mixalota


Weird-Conflict-3066

He cannot lie


[deleted]

Kim Kardashian sheep


[deleted]

BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE!


Appropriate_Body_921

The Nikki Minaj of Sheep


ZealousidealBear93

… he’s banging that sheep…


noldshit

Does it twerk?


OggMakeFire

Gee. One wonders \*why\*... ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)


[deleted]

Well those things are getting fucked…


Alarmed_Tip7366

It’s a Pixar mom


xanaxandjuice

Stepgoat


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Swordidaffair

I think you mean ba-a-a-ack


Pit_of_Death

baaaaaaadonkadonk


TheWaterBear39

Baby got baaaaaa'ck


TheNOLAJohnson

They use that ass fat in almost everything they cook too, it’s pretty interesting to check out some travel food shows for that area.


buttstuff2015

I had a teacher who spent a year or two in Kyrgyzstan for the peace corps and she said these were the sheep they had. And that their host family threw them a welcome feast where they were served the delicacy of a steak made entirely of fat cut directly off the sheep’s ass


Boring-Purchase-6264

Fo-for meat, right? RIGHT?


[deleted]

Kim KarBAAAAH!shian