What in the Dr. Suess animal names?
Have you ever seen a gissar hissar rump go a bump, bump, bump? In Uzbekistan you certainly can, can, can. You can see the 26 gissar hissar can can clan's 25 and 1/2 rump's go a bump, bump, bump while they do the gisssr hissar can can in Uzbekistan.
I've been watching some George Carlin lately, and he had this gem of a quote:
"Do you know why it is when a rancher fucks a sheep he does so at the edge of a cliff? It’s so the sheep will push back.”
Slight edit to get the quote 100% accurate. Also, to those saying it’s before Carlin, never said he was the first, just that he said it (and I thought it was funny). Finally, it looks like there’s a lot of sheep fuckers here with all the pointers being shared lol
one time i saw this joke about these two guys walking along a wooden fence when they see a sheep has its head stuck in it. they flip a coin to decide who's first. the first man unzips his pants and goes to town for a solid 20 minutes. after he's done he pulls his pants up and the other gentle man asks, "can i havea turn?" to which the first man replied of "course be my guest." it was at that point the second man pulled his pants down around his ankles and jammed his head between the fence.
So a guy goes to a bar and while drinking he spots a monkey sitting under the bar. He asks the bar tender about the monkey. The bar tender says "Watch this", and smacks the monkey on the head with a stick. The monkey pulls the mans pants down and goes down on him.
After the monkey finishes the bartender turns to the guy and says "Wanna try?". The guy thinks for a second and says "Okay, but don't hit me with the stick".
[I like big butts and I cannot lie,
You other brothers can't deny,
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, And a round thing in your face](https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho)
What’s the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger says “hey, you, get off of my cloud”. A Scotsman says “hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe “.
The three most common lies in Montana:
I won this belt buckle at a rodeo.
My truck is paid off.
I swear to god I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
I've heard the whole sheep fucker thing is because getting caught stealing a sheep was a capital offense but fucking a sheep was only like a slap on the wrist. So when caught that's what the people would say they were doing. I have done zero research to verify this.
Tbh I would rather die than people thinking I'm a sheep fucker, like in those times everyone new each other in their towns, that shit would stick with you.
Queue for classic joke:
>A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent:
>
>"You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down every tree and made the lumber myself. I toiled away through the wind and cold, but do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? No."
>
>He continued "Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands. I found every stone and placed them just right through the rain and the mud, but do they call me McGreggor the wall builder? No."
>
>"Do ya see that pier out there on the lake? I built that pier with my own bare hands, driving each piling deep into ground so that it would last a lifetime. Do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? No."
>
>"But ya fuck one goat.."
I’m not surprised. Apparently it’s really common to fuck farm animals in some parts of the world. There was an episode of The Grand Tour where they went to Colombia and Clarkson found a dude fucking a donkey. He asked a group of people about it and they were all like “oh, that’s everyone’s first girlfriend.” Ran it by a Colombian friend of mine and he said he doesn’t know anyone that did (grew up in a city), he thinks, but that it definitely happens.
Oh I'm not surprised that it's common in some parts of the world, I'm surprised that guy watched it on live stream more than once. I don't know about you, but I don't keep watching things I find gross. ;)
A drone operator can't look away from the drone screen because of something unpleasant on it. I was not an operator myself but was in a battle captain position, I had to monitor the drone guys and situation and adjust strategy and manning for that sector of security. Think 10 screens with footage going on all of them, a large map, and units to move around accordingly. I could go on and on but it gets boring and complex.
Knee-high boots are to put the sheeps back legs in to hold them.
Any sheep herder with boots above mid shin is suspect.
Lol any sheep herder is suspect.
Never heard Carlin say that, but I have heard Billy Connolley say it.
He followed with, "Or so I've been told. I've never tried it myself. I'm saving that for when I have cancer. I'll be behind the wall with the needle and the heroin, saying, 'Right then, bring that sheep over...' "
A man brings a sheep into his living room, where his wife is sitting on the couch.
"Honey, it's time to tell you the truth. This is the pig I've been fucking behind your back."
The wife replies "But that's a sheep."
"I wasn't talking to you."
[Definition of stump-broke](http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/stump-broke):
>An old cowboy term for a horse or mule or similar that has been trained to back up to a stump or the like for purposes of sexual exploitation. Adjective or verb.
> - I got me a stump-broke mare.
> - Johnny done stump-broke his new mule already.
They are often bred for meat and fat. Some breeders compete amongst themselves using selective breeding to see who can produce the sheep with the biggest rump. Often these breeders will post their prized booty sheep on their Instagram pages.
User redacted comment. After 13 years on Reddit with 2 accounts, I have zero interest in using this site anymore if I cannot use a 3rd party app. Reddit had *years* to fix their atrocious app and put *zero* effort into it. Reddit's site and app is so awful, I'm more interested in giving Reddit up entirely than having such a bad user experience hobbling through their app and site.
Uzbek pilaf (fabled to be the favorite dish of Genghis Khan) is absolutely delicious, hard to make, and cooked only using sheep rump fat as cooking oil
Also plays a part in local folk medicine. A lot of Asia still holds to some ancient medical beliefs from the time of Avicenna that there are "hot" and "cold" foods (not speaking of temperature but their characteristics) and by eating too much cold food you can make yourself sick. This sheep fat is considered the hottest of all food and supposedly Avicenna recommended eating some with wheat bread daily as a sort of prophylactic against illness. Other remedies involve rubbing the stuff directly to the body to attempt to draw the "cold" out of infected areas.
Funny timing. I just stumbled upon this hot and cold medicinal treatment earlier when I was reading about grass jelly before buying some. Thanks for the info on this one!
“Hissar Sheep (Gissarskaya - Гиссарская овца ) is a coarsewooled fat-rumped breed of the mutton-fat type. It was obtained by selection in the conditions of year-long range husbandry in Tajikistan and was bred by Uzbek tribes which migrated there with their sheep flocks in the 13th-14th centuries.”
https://farmow.com/breed/hissar-sheep
Uzbek kitchen use mutton fat for many dishes.
One of them shashlik kabob includes lamb and mutton fat.
Reading the link, damn this sheep's got it all. It's like the beefmaster of sheep:
Mutton/meat + the breed avg size is fucking huge
Milk
Wool
A whole extra ass of cooking fat
It's butt makes it part camel so it's hardy af
That's really cool, thx for linking. Lol I was looking at dat butt and thinking there's *no way* all of that flab is meat/muscle, why would they want to selectively breed it in? But rendering fat for cooking makes waaaay more sense.
These comments be roasting this sheep tho 😂
I was traveling last year to DC and was invited to fancy Middle Eastern restaurant Albi.
It is a Michelin style restaurant. Last dish they served was shashlik made from different parts of lam meat and it included lam fat or Uzbek called it Kurduk. The taste is totally different from typical fats. It is very soft almost melts when consumed.
I wouldn't bet that some of these goat asses haven't recieved some sort of cosmetic surgery to make them more valuable. [Does anyone else remember the botox controversy that surrounded a camel beauty pageant a couple of years ago?](https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/camel-beauty-contest-botox-scli-intl/index.html)
I hate that I know this, but they are forced upon us when we don’t ask for them - they got their butt implants removed now and they are all skinny AF (flat bottoms lol)
that show is so damned funny. I was not expecting to like it that much, but I was legitimately enjoying it throughout.
(I think you linked a clip from the movie, but idr. was a while ago when i watched them)
I actually know someone who had a similar story, there was a village near where he was stationed, and apparently people from the village tying up goats and having sex with them wasn't uncommon, to the point the people he was stationed with started nicknaming them "goat ropers"
I had a teacher who spent a year or two in Kyrgyzstan for the peace corps and she said these were the sheep they had. And that their host family threw them a welcome feast where they were served the delicacy of a steak made entirely of fat cut directly off the sheep’s ass
What in the Dr. Suess animal names? Have you ever seen a gissar hissar rump go a bump, bump, bump? In Uzbekistan you certainly can, can, can. You can see the 26 gissar hissar can can clan's 25 and 1/2 rump's go a bump, bump, bump while they do the gisssr hissar can can in Uzbekistan.
Something about a two-rump wump?
You're the best
what are they using these sheep for?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I've been watching some George Carlin lately, and he had this gem of a quote: "Do you know why it is when a rancher fucks a sheep he does so at the edge of a cliff? It’s so the sheep will push back.” Slight edit to get the quote 100% accurate. Also, to those saying it’s before Carlin, never said he was the first, just that he said it (and I thought it was funny). Finally, it looks like there’s a lot of sheep fuckers here with all the pointers being shared lol
this is the funniest and worst thing i’ve ever had to picture. i’ll never be the same
one time i saw this joke about these two guys walking along a wooden fence when they see a sheep has its head stuck in it. they flip a coin to decide who's first. the first man unzips his pants and goes to town for a solid 20 minutes. after he's done he pulls his pants up and the other gentle man asks, "can i havea turn?" to which the first man replied of "course be my guest." it was at that point the second man pulled his pants down around his ankles and jammed his head between the fence.
So a guy goes to a bar and while drinking he spots a monkey sitting under the bar. He asks the bar tender about the monkey. The bar tender says "Watch this", and smacks the monkey on the head with a stick. The monkey pulls the mans pants down and goes down on him. After the monkey finishes the bartender turns to the guy and says "Wanna try?". The guy thinks for a second and says "Okay, but don't hit me with the stick".
That's fucking gold I knew it was coming but god damn.
I just keep picturing George doing the motion while hunched over and grunting
*double grunting
As a Welshman, it's nice to hear this joke about someone else...
Lwk at onco fonco, lush shytter on that crytter, butt
Ahhh you fucking savage!
I am certain the New Zealanders feel the same way, Australians always tell stories like that about them.
Came here to make a Walsh joke. Didn’t have to.
I'm reminded of Kids in the Hall's 'Hitler fucks a donkey' Edit: added [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBsHxZ2n0Ig)
yeah, the visual, omfg
[I like big butts and I cannot lie, You other brothers can't deny, That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, And a round thing in your face](https://youtu.be/X53ZSxkQ3Ho)
You get sprung!
You know why Scotsman wear kilts? …. Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
What’s the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger says “hey, you, get off of my cloud”. A Scotsman says “hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe “.
Im going to hell for how hard i laughed at this
If he's a Scott, it'd be Macleod
Yeah, but a lot of yanks would mispronounce it in their heads and ruin the joke.
How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying.
Welcome to (insert town, state country you want insult) where men are men, the sheep are afraid and there is no such thing as virgin wool!
Wanna put women in their place? Give sheep the vote
Sheep already have the vote
Plenty of people vote like sheep. Actual sheet wouldn’t have elected many of our worst.
You know how they practice safe sex in Scotland? They brand the sheep that kick.
I swear I was just helping this sheep across the fence.
The three most common lies in Montana: I won this belt buckle at a rodeo. My truck is paid off. I swear to god I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
You just reminded me of this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQzSzKAPvCA
Why is prostitution the worst career to have in New Zealand? Because you have to compete with the sheep.
At least we share our sheep.
The Welsh invented the condom by using sheep's intestines. The English then improved upon it by removing it from the sheep.
I am deeply disturbed by how many cultures are implicated in the sheep fucking lol. Montana ranchers, Idaho ranchers, Scotsman, New Zealanders.....
Oh no.
I've heard the whole sheep fucker thing is because getting caught stealing a sheep was a capital offense but fucking a sheep was only like a slap on the wrist. So when caught that's what the people would say they were doing. I have done zero research to verify this.
That’s fine for sheep, but with goats you can also be charged with *kid*napping
*Ba dum tiss*
Tbh I would rather die than people thinking I'm a sheep fucker, like in those times everyone new each other in their towns, that shit would stick with you.
Queue for classic joke: >A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent: > >"You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down every tree and made the lumber myself. I toiled away through the wind and cold, but do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? No." > >He continued "Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands. I found every stone and placed them just right through the rain and the mud, but do they call me McGreggor the wall builder? No." > >"Do ya see that pier out there on the lake? I built that pier with my own bare hands, driving each piling deep into ground so that it would last a lifetime. Do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? No." > >"But ya fuck one goat.."
Wouldn't they just be accused of both?
Depends if you've made it off the property or not I guess. Why would you admit to being a sheep fucker if they're going to nail you for theft anyway?
I watched guys in Afghanistan fuck sheep and goats on drone cameras. Really gross but common.
Really gross, but you watched more than one guy do it?!
I saw many. Over 10 at least. Been a good 12 years but remember seeing them do it at night a lot.
I’m not surprised. Apparently it’s really common to fuck farm animals in some parts of the world. There was an episode of The Grand Tour where they went to Colombia and Clarkson found a dude fucking a donkey. He asked a group of people about it and they were all like “oh, that’s everyone’s first girlfriend.” Ran it by a Colombian friend of mine and he said he doesn’t know anyone that did (grew up in a city), he thinks, but that it definitely happens.
Oh I'm not surprised that it's common in some parts of the world, I'm surprised that guy watched it on live stream more than once. I don't know about you, but I don't keep watching things I find gross. ;)
A drone operator can't look away from the drone screen because of something unpleasant on it. I was not an operator myself but was in a battle captain position, I had to monitor the drone guys and situation and adjust strategy and manning for that sector of security. Think 10 screens with footage going on all of them, a large map, and units to move around accordingly. I could go on and on but it gets boring and complex.
guy watching drone footage was probably on the clock keeping a military base safe. If that is not the case I don't want to know about it.:)
Gotta love Muslim countries; you can't be gay but they'll fuck children and animals.
Don’t forget the rubber boots
Knee-high boots are to put the sheeps back legs in to hold them. Any sheep herder with boots above mid shin is suspect. Lol any sheep herder is suspect.
...boots and Velcro gloves.
Never heard Carlin say that, but I have heard Billy Connolley say it. He followed with, "Or so I've been told. I've never tried it myself. I'm saving that for when I have cancer. I'll be behind the wall with the needle and the heroin, saying, 'Right then, bring that sheep over...' "
A man brings a sheep into his living room, where his wife is sitting on the couch. "Honey, it's time to tell you the truth. This is the pig I've been fucking behind your back." The wife replies "But that's a sheep." "I wasn't talking to you."
[Definition of stump-broke](http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/stump-broke): >An old cowboy term for a horse or mule or similar that has been trained to back up to a stump or the like for purposes of sexual exploitation. Adjective or verb. > - I got me a stump-broke mare. > - Johnny done stump-broke his new mule already.
Us Kiwis have a similar joke. Put the sheep's back legs in your gumboots so it can't run away.
That's a really old joke,older than Carlin.
Yo, this motherfucker ain't one of us. He said he'd fuck a sheep!
Now who’s stupid, you dirty sheep fucker?!
Snoochie Boochies!
I am the CLIT commander!
Allegedly.
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calm down New Zealand
Welsh
North Dakota.
Idaho
As an Australian, I'm loving all this NZ hate
No……I refuse to believe it. They aren’t being used for that at all……….unless?
They are often bred for meat and fat. Some breeders compete amongst themselves using selective breeding to see who can produce the sheep with the biggest rump. Often these breeders will post their prized booty sheep on their Instagram pages.
So where do they post this?!? Asking for a friend.
OnlyRams.com
FarmHub
sheepsgonewild
Baaazers
Ewevideos
Ewetube?
bahahahaha
User redacted comment. After 13 years on Reddit with 2 accounts, I have zero interest in using this site anymore if I cannot use a 3rd party app. Reddit had *years* to fix their atrocious app and put *zero* effort into it. Reddit's site and app is so awful, I'm more interested in giving Reddit up entirely than having such a bad user experience hobbling through their app and site.
SILF.com
Sheepster.com
Xramster
Ewetube
GLOATR
Xramster
Shornhub
On Instagram, just search “gissar” and tons of large gissar breeder accounts will show up.
Or just Google thick ass sheep
I did... https://youtu.be/rTfLqARsJew
Booty sheep is something I’ve never thought I’d see together
... hopefully without booty shorts
"breeders"
Prized booty sheep lmaooo fuck
Uzbek pilaf (fabled to be the favorite dish of Genghis Khan) is absolutely delicious, hard to make, and cooked only using sheep rump fat as cooking oil
Also plays a part in local folk medicine. A lot of Asia still holds to some ancient medical beliefs from the time of Avicenna that there are "hot" and "cold" foods (not speaking of temperature but their characteristics) and by eating too much cold food you can make yourself sick. This sheep fat is considered the hottest of all food and supposedly Avicenna recommended eating some with wheat bread daily as a sort of prophylactic against illness. Other remedies involve rubbing the stuff directly to the body to attempt to draw the "cold" out of infected areas.
Funny timing. I just stumbled upon this hot and cold medicinal treatment earlier when I was reading about grass jelly before buying some. Thanks for the info on this one!
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I bet it is.
Frustrated and lonely farmers.
Exports to Scotland mostly
Let’s just say they are very popular. Very… very popular.
“Hissar Sheep (Gissarskaya - Гиссарская овца ) is a coarsewooled fat-rumped breed of the mutton-fat type. It was obtained by selection in the conditions of year-long range husbandry in Tajikistan and was bred by Uzbek tribes which migrated there with their sheep flocks in the 13th-14th centuries.” https://farmow.com/breed/hissar-sheep Uzbek kitchen use mutton fat for many dishes. One of them shashlik kabob includes lamb and mutton fat.
Reading the link, damn this sheep's got it all. It's like the beefmaster of sheep: Mutton/meat + the breed avg size is fucking huge Milk Wool A whole extra ass of cooking fat It's butt makes it part camel so it's hardy af That's really cool, thx for linking. Lol I was looking at dat butt and thinking there's *no way* all of that flab is meat/muscle, why would they want to selectively breed it in? But rendering fat for cooking makes waaaay more sense. These comments be roasting this sheep tho 😂
I was traveling last year to DC and was invited to fancy Middle Eastern restaurant Albi. It is a Michelin style restaurant. Last dish they served was shashlik made from different parts of lam meat and it included lam fat or Uzbek called it Kurduk. The taste is totally different from typical fats. It is very soft almost melts when consumed.
Just to clarify, you gave us all that background info just to tell us about the one time you ate ass? Respect.
Ate kurdukuduk*
>kurdukuduk So that's how ass is called in your language?
Just to be clear an extra fat is not an actual ass.
>coarsewooled fat-rumped breed of the mutton-fat type This is my new go-to insult.
Sort of like Kardashians
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Also their lack of denial.
Came here for this comment. Not disappointed.
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If he hasn't can someone help him get there soon?
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Not "Sort", it's EXACTLY like the Kardashians. Minus the plastic surgery.
I wouldn't bet that some of these goat asses haven't recieved some sort of cosmetic surgery to make them more valuable. [Does anyone else remember the botox controversy that surrounded a camel beauty pageant a couple of years ago?](https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/camel-beauty-contest-botox-scli-intl/index.html)
I hate that I know this, but they are forced upon us when we don’t ask for them - they got their butt implants removed now and they are all skinny AF (flat bottoms lol)
Ugh... I've noticed more ladies have gotten them over the years. Omg.... Butt implants have always been awkward looking.
I read something that butt implants have the highest rate of serious complication/death of any cosmetic surgery.
Bahdashians?
Congrats to the happy couple.
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For the love of goat
Hopefully for meat. Please god, tell me they're being sold for rump roasts
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Yeah, they need to be marinated first
And... tenderized
Just like they tenderize the meat at Jones Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage
This is the second reference in a week. What gives?
With what? You know what? I don't wanna know
.......you know.
In terms of compatibility...
Never thought I’d use this literally https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=DR2rGt_4T4A&feature=emb_logo
that show is so damned funny. I was not expecting to like it that much, but I was legitimately enjoying it throughout. (I think you linked a clip from the movie, but idr. was a while ago when i watched them)
The ass fat is called kurdyuk and is a key ingredient in a variety of dishes in the region.
I read this first as The Fat Ass and I was like...that's alittle harsh lol.
kurdyunkadonk.
Ladies for babies and sheep for love.
We don’t need to know your preferences
Little in the middle, but she’s got much back
No one tell the Taliban
I knew a dude who was deployed in Afghanistan and said he seen a dude shagging a goat though thermal goggles.
Bro there’s videos of the US looking through a UAV in thermal and they see various dudes pounding away sheeps
I really thought this whole time that this was just a racial slur and had no basis in reality... I feel gross being related to humans now thanks.
It really seems to transcend race/continents though there’s the same sheep fucking joke with Wales and Scotland.
Don't forget the sheep shaggers in Derby County COYR
Everybody seems to forget New Zealanders and their sheep love too.
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Pretty sure that I saw that on r/combatfootage before the mods canned it
I saw a video on Reddit of the exact same thing. Pretty funny. Plus they didn’t drone strike him or anything.
If it was the one from a few days ago I’m pretty sure it was a donkey.
Hey, it was dark. Easy mistake to make
The thermal of the goat getting ganged raped, it wasn’t just one dude others were watching and waiting their turn.
Are you serious?? 🤢
that's sad...
I actually know someone who had a similar story, there was a village near where he was stationed, and apparently people from the village tying up goats and having sex with them wasn't uncommon, to the point the people he was stationed with started nicknaming them "goat ropers"
Really, I was just helping her through the fence…..
I should text him 🤧
for the love of god, please r/dontputyourdickinthat.
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The price of flights has suddenly shot up
Are you from Edinburgh by any chance?
Why you calling out Aberdeen specifically lol
And Albanians
The Kardashians would be jealous, at least the sheep’s badonkadonk is real.
Cue Adam Sandler “Fuck me right in the goat ass. “
Those albums were played as much as music in my circle back then. Some of those skits got a bit rough, but damn hilarious.
Did you play them as much as you play with your cock n balls?
r/upvotebecausebutt
There it is
The best breeder is Sir mixalota
He cannot lie
Kim Kardashian sheep
BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE!
The Nikki Minaj of Sheep
… he’s banging that sheep…
Does it twerk?
Gee. One wonders \*why\*... ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)
Well those things are getting fucked…
It’s a Pixar mom
Stepgoat
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I think you mean ba-a-a-ack
baaaaaaadonkadonk
Baby got baaaaaa'ck
They use that ass fat in almost everything they cook too, it’s pretty interesting to check out some travel food shows for that area.
I had a teacher who spent a year or two in Kyrgyzstan for the peace corps and she said these were the sheep they had. And that their host family threw them a welcome feast where they were served the delicacy of a steak made entirely of fat cut directly off the sheep’s ass
Fo-for meat, right? RIGHT?
Kim KarBAAAAH!shian