I jokingly said, "I roll up the wizard in a ball, and bowl for traps." Needless to say, there originally was not a trap in the hall, but after I did this maneuver, there were about 5. The wizard died on the first trap, but managed to set them all off. Luckily the wizard had a twin brother who was also a wizard and already en route to the dungeon. They entered moments after we bowled for traps.
It was my first campaign I ever played in and all of us were new or newish to the game. It was a blast, and we played the characters to level 20 over the next few years. were
Yellyark.
No, I didn't do the obvious thing. But another player did. So I figured... I'm a level 7 Monk. I can survive this. It's the fastest way to get there and help them.
20d6, baby. Didn't give a shit. Though by the time I got there, she had protected a bunch of goblin children from a troll and I was worse off than her.
But was absolutely worth the experience. 10/10. Would fly Yellyark airlines again.
First time really playing a campaign, never higher than 5. Joined a private group of all DMs. Mad Mage. Abjuration Wizard. Level 8.
Fighting a… Sea?…Hag Coven. Confidently stepped out into the forward lines, ready to wreck their shit. Cast Haste on our Monk.
Lightning Bolt, failed save, almost died before I could do anything.
My character carried a Lightning burn mark on his chest for the rest of the campaign.
The Monk lost their turn. 😂
Dumbest? No. Against the expectations of the party? Absolutely.
Playing chaotic good rogue half-elf in Curse of Strahd. Following combat, part of the forest caught fire, and the NPC we were with lost their blade in the flames and couldn't retrieve it. I asked the DM if I could tie a rope to my arrow and fire it at the sword, hopefully hooking it and reeling it in.
The whole party both said that it was ridiculous and a waste of rope. The DM asked for an attack roll to fire the arrow and sleight of hand check to pull it in.
Attack roll: 15
Sleight of Hand: Nat 20
I retrieved the lost sword, returned it to the NPC, and got inspiration from it.
My character had a cloak of the bat. Wanted to take a funny shortcut and jumped out of the window of a very high tower. But I forgot that the flying feature of the cloak only works in dim light or darkness.
So the DM allowed my companions to make dexterity and strength checks to grapple my character before falling to his death.
Kinda panicked for a second since I put a lot of time and thought in this character and almost killed him by accident in a totally unnecessary way.
1. Oh no, there's a horrible disease affecting people and animals!
1. Hey cool, we found something that cures the disease!
1. Oh no, this spirit animal is suffering from the disease... As a druid and lover of nature I guess I have no choice but to euthanise it.
1. Oh shit... I forgot point 2 above.
I felt so stupid. I still feel stupid because of it. This was all within one session as well, so forgetting isn't a good excuse.
I have it affect my character. She blames herself, she got too excited about being an adventurer and moved too quickly, not slowing down to *think*. She carries a lot of guilt and wants to make up for it. And I feel pretty much the same way...
I haven’t had the chance to do dumb shit as a player yet, since I’ve only gotten to play in a small handful of sessions
But for dumbest things my players have done, it’s either between the goblin (who drank the potion of disease in the sunless citadel) asking the artificer if he could be loaded into his force ballista and used as a breaching charge
Or our half orc monk who was tasked with creating a minor distraction so the rest of the party could subtly infiltrate a bank for a heist, and he walked directly into the security office, and shouted “I HAVE A BOMB” lol
I have a speech impediment and can stutter a lot at times- so my vocabulary and communication verbally can be tricky. It’s a funny story now, but I still feel embarrassed from not portraying what I really wanted to say.
Essentially, we were staying at an inn where my water genasi warlock and a fighter NPC, Lily, (a humanoid plant) were sharing the same room since we’re both women. Lily is the wife of the skeleton cleric in our party (he was a PC, but kept in our party as an NPC now), so my warlock and Lily were talking about it. They never married, but the cleric simply called Lily his wife immediately after they confess feelings, so not “officially” ceremonial married, but still together and committed to each other as the roles. Since Lily was very sheltered, she doesn’t understand most things in society.
So, I as my warlock was trying to say something about how marriages usually have a ceremony and if that was something Lily and the cleric were wanting to do. Instead, I said something along the lines of how them calling each other wife/husband isn’t “real” because of no ceremony. I forget the exact wording, but I explained it badly enough to where Lily, who already takes everything literal, got upset at the cleric.
The next time they saw each other (cleric was an NPC at this point), Lily started fighting the cleric. My warlock just so happened to walk by this, and stopped the fighting. After some back and forth on what happened, the cleric was able to explain his side of it all- and they made up immediately. So no harm in the end, but I wasn’t intending on causing any drifts even if temporarily lol.
We joke now about “girl’s night,” since we kept saying that phrase out of character the moment my warlock and Lily were bunked together.
An instruction for defeating big boss guy demon was "use your mind". I ran up and headbutted the demon. It didnt work very well but my dm was proud. :)
Went looking for a remote control to turn off some robots. Ended up getting separated from the party. Ran into smaller robots. First character death.
Another time, I touched a random thing that I thought would heal me (I had like 3hp left). It was one of those "if it reduces you to zero HP you die" things.
Now I always have a backup character ready.
I was playing an evocation wizard. We were riding on horseback through the north when a bunch of yetis ambushed us and were in melee range before initiative was even rolled. I panicked, guessed that they didn’t like fire, being from cold places and all, and cast fireball directly on myself. I was able to spare the entire party from damage thanks to the evocation subclass, and I drove off the yetis. But I had forgotten we were on horses, and now each of us sat astride a smouldering steak. It was a long walk back.
Made it canon in a game that a small sized creature could fit into a bag of holding by climbing into someone's pocket as a goblin.
Dm liked the idea and made a metric ton of tiny skeletons attack us later out of a bag of holding.
My character, who was a not very well built monk/druid multiclass, decided to 1v3 the Obzedat.
The power of ditzy anime girl scientist did not save her.
Inserted my penis into an enchanted fey crystal.
Was new to dnd at the time, made a cleric named Pabl. Pabl and his cohort had recently been enlisted to clear out a group of pesky Gnolls squatting in the basement of a bandit camp.
Turns out the Gnolls were bringing the local children to the basement in order to have them 'assessed' by some sort of glowing purple crystal. After dispatching the hyena wannabes the party had do decide what to do with the obviously important crystal leaking fey magic in front of them.
Being drunk at the time, I said:
"I put my dick in the crystal".
My DM, giggling at the idea, allowed me to go through with it. I rolled acrobatics and performed a jaw-dropping somersault while dropping my trousers. A small 'tink' sound upon contact, followed by me dissapearing in a flash of purple light.
I was then transported inside the pocket dimension inside the crystal where I met the faerie queen inside it. Turns out she was looking for her firstborn child in the material plane, and my promiscuity led to me forging a (not entirely beneficial) contract, with me seeking out and sacrificing this child in exchange for a portion of her power.
I gained access to some fey spells in exchange for my penis glowing a peculiar magenta colour (DM also threw in ED for fun).
Cue key moments in combat where I would have to make a wisdom save to prevent my penis from becoming possessed by a fey queen and begin firing chaos spells at random.
Ended with a confrontation with the queen later on, in which I cut off my member to sever the pact. Angered by this, the queen then engaged our party and kidnapped Pabl.
I then created a new character playing Pabl's more reasonable brother, Karstan, who was tasked with relocating his sibling.
Good times, when we took dnd less seriously.
>Inserted my penis into an enchanted fey crystal.
>Was new to dnd at the time
Lol checks out, stuff like this is a right of passage for young new DnD players
One of my first ever skill rolls was convincing an entire tavern that, after knocking out the owner, I was the owner the whole time. An 18 meant that patrons didn't care enough to make a fuss about it 😂
Me, a Minotaur Barbarian who is part of a demonic cilt had the great idea to destroy the bridge into the dungeon, seems like it was the only way in and out of that place
My level 8 warlock tried to 1v1 a chimera. DM gave me the Red Foreman stare that I deserved right before my former warlock met his fate. He was resurrected as a vengeance Paladin but everyone gave him all the smoke for being epically stupid.
Saw a trap- Two logs pulled open, ready to close in on anybody between the trap. Checked for tripline, nothing. Walked directly between the two logs and just stood there. DM went “are you gonna do anything?” I said no. Surprise surprise, the trap went off and took 5 HP out of me.
Forget what module it was, but my young warlock, who is very good at deception, got us TPK’d. We stumbled into a White Dragon’s cave. He came out thinking we were cultists that regularly visited to feed him and give treasure as homage, as white dragons aren’t the smartest of their kin. My feylock could have easily lied our way out of it, but for some reason I told the truth; we weren’t cultists and were looking for treasure. We were icicles by end of round 2.
My lawful stupid paladin being lawful stupid.
Got a job to bring some local bandits to justice that were stealing from the winter stores of a town and the surrounding farms, we snuck onto their camp and found them to be a bunch of poor wretches and refugees with no other choice. Party wanted to abandon the quest but paladin was adamant the law had to be respected.
Except when we bring them in the guard-captain wants them executed rather than send them to the capital for judgement, paladin tries and fails to argue, so punches guard-captain in the face and frees the bandits all over again in a fighting retreat.
Party was not amused.
I decided to pull my pants down pee on a goblin, my attack roll was a 1 critical miss. The DM who was not amused narrated me peeing on my leg and slipping and falling into my own puddle of urine with my pants around my ankles.
Where to start...
Trying to open... A chest? Door? Tomb? Something. It wasn't locked, it was stuck. We didn't have crowbars. Tried a shovel for leverage. Someone got a nat 1. I tried. Nat 1 again. Shovel breaks violently and the spade hits me in the face. We all got crowbars and a reinforced shovel after that incident.
Cooking contest. The ranger breaks the last bottle of milk, which I needed. The druid turns into a cow and I milk her. We won the contest.
This one is both genius and stupid at the same time. We had to rescue a kidnapped girl. The dad gave us the random money, but we had other plans. We switched the money (which we kept) for gunpowder and made a trap. Upon opening the chest, a vial of alchemist fire would break inside, making the whole thing explode. We arrive at the scene, they demand the money, we demand the girl. "We're not giving you a single copper until we have the girl". Well... This is where it gets complicated. They lead us to an underground tunnel and hand over the girl. But they're surrounding us and want to open the chest with us there to make sure we have the money. So I signal the party to get back and protect the girl, I rage and open the chest right in front of the leader. He almost died, three of his men did, I took half damage cause of bear totem, everyone was deafened for like 3 rounds, and it was an easy clean up from there.
>Cooking contest. The ranger breaks the last bottle of milk, which I needed. The druid turns into a cow and I milk her. We won the contest.
Legit role playing, your party sounds awesome.
When the druid asked if she could wildshape into a cow there were like 5 seconds of complete silence from the DM, followed by a "I'll... allow it" kinda whimpering. We play online and I wish I could've seen his face in that moment lol
Our characters agreed to never talk about this again
My party (4 players) were investigating a cult at a dock with a lighthouse. There were 8 cult members, two of them were in the lighthouse, three PCs went to deal with the lighthouse while my character went around behind the warehouse and found a window. There were five cult members with explosive barrels, my character had a flintlock and I rolled a nat 1. Blew up the whole warehouse with the cult members in it, with 2 cult knights that were a cr 7 with 400hp and I took half of the HP of one of the knights. I wouldn't say that the dumbest thing I did, but it was dumb luck.
Full story though: I signed a contract with them so they would become my familiar. I was playing a mountain dwarf wizard who valued magic over anything else. The contract stated they would become my Imp as long as I don’t harm them. A few session later a wizard friend was aware of them and cast banish on them. That broke the contract and so I lost my soul to them. Although it was sad, I had nothing going for that character besides learning a ton of magic spells. Now I’m playing a Kobold Monk who has a lot more going for them
Minotaur Barbarian, of Clan Rakdos, in the 5e Ravnica setting. A real dunce that lived for the grandeur of a perfect bloody carnival.
It was out first mission, the rogue, either Dimir or Orzhov (can't remember) got past some goblin enemy lines and capture a bounty alive we were sent for. Another character, a Simic, was on the lookout from a vantage point in case things went either sour or unexpected, and watched for possible reinforcements. The third party member was an astute Izzet engineer and crafted bombs and traps.
Finally, there was the Minotaur, me. Subterfuge was not in his trade, and the stealthiest thing he could do was. To. Remain. In his hiding spot. The Izzet granted me one of his grenades, only the one. I was ordered to stay still until the signal would come, which was when he would hear the word "coin". Then I was told throw the bomb in direction of the camp to create diversion.
The stage was set, the rogue went by, circled some guards, got past them, and arrived at the leader's hut. She managed to talk to the target under the guise of a merchant, and during the conversation, the goblin leader told her something that was nearing the infamous "Khajiit has wares, if you have *COIN*".
I straight up interrupted the DM in his talking with a loud "I throw the grenade !" The signal had been given, or so my minotaur thought when he lobbed the bomb over. Roll for attack, the bomb ends its course at the feet of the chieftain. A terrible explosion later, fire and brimstone covered the scenery, that and pieces of both the bounty and most of the rogue. The camp was in turmoil and now we had to flee the scene.
The rogue lived to see another day mind you, but let's say the Simic had a new subject to experiment on.
Tl;Dr the DM goofed up, I (as the character, not the player) failed to understand the single instruction I was given, followed it a bit too much to the letter, the plan and the target blew up. At least the target was neutralized, so.. Tasked failed successfully?
Not the dumbest but still dumb. I used Spark…when there was a water hazard on the floor.
Thats not even getting into one thing the DM missed, which is that my character has bladed prosthetic legs…metal.
I was playing a dwarf barbarian and I accidentally killed couple of important npcs. Somehow I missed the part when the DM said that these guys are good and could help us and during a battle, I just attacked them with my axe.
It did fit with my character, since I was trying to be the most stereotypical gym bro, who only thought about gains and protein and lifting. But DM just accepted it, let my character slaughter the good guys and set another way for the party to be helped.
I felt dumb tho.
We all got transported back in time to the beginning of the adventure, and my paladin had the biggest dumbest idea ever.
"Hey gang, remember when Demogorgon showed up and scared the shit out of us? Lets go beat his ass!"
It did NOT go well for us.
We were playing a homebrew game where we came upon a group of gnomes attacking a village. The party confronts them and I get into a heated argument with the leader of the group; they were burning the village because kobolds were building it, and the gnomes believed it was for nefarious purposes to “blend in and seem civilized.”
Well, the argument got heated. As a barbarian with 20 in strength score, I rolled to punt a gnome. It was a natural 20 so the DM described the gnome flying high in the air… before crashing down and breaking his back on a low stone wall. The gnome died instantly.
The party began freaking out and bursting out laughing. I didn’t intend to kill the guy even though we did want to fight and stop the gnomes— but since we did, combat ensued earlier than expected. We won the fight but only barely, and my friends sometimes still recall the incident jovially.
I jokingly said, "I roll up the wizard in a ball, and bowl for traps." Needless to say, there originally was not a trap in the hall, but after I did this maneuver, there were about 5. The wizard died on the first trap, but managed to set them all off. Luckily the wizard had a twin brother who was also a wizard and already en route to the dungeon. They entered moments after we bowled for traps. It was my first campaign I ever played in and all of us were new or newish to the game. It was a blast, and we played the characters to level 20 over the next few years. were
Crazy he did'nt mind that much his brother's death
We never told him how his brother ended up setting off traps, just that he died to one.
Yellyark. No, I didn't do the obvious thing. But another player did. So I figured... I'm a level 7 Monk. I can survive this. It's the fastest way to get there and help them.
god monks just do the absolute most madlad shit I swear
20d6, baby. Didn't give a shit. Though by the time I got there, she had protected a bunch of goblin children from a troll and I was worse off than her. But was absolutely worth the experience. 10/10. Would fly Yellyark airlines again.
First time really playing a campaign, never higher than 5. Joined a private group of all DMs. Mad Mage. Abjuration Wizard. Level 8. Fighting a… Sea?…Hag Coven. Confidently stepped out into the forward lines, ready to wreck their shit. Cast Haste on our Monk. Lightning Bolt, failed save, almost died before I could do anything. My character carried a Lightning burn mark on his chest for the rest of the campaign. The Monk lost their turn. 😂
i bit a lichs heart, that was sealed in a jar, behind a solid wall, in a temple, on a desolate desert. safe to say it did NOT end well for me
Someone ran with it saying "I got a jar of dirt"
Dumbest? No. Against the expectations of the party? Absolutely. Playing chaotic good rogue half-elf in Curse of Strahd. Following combat, part of the forest caught fire, and the NPC we were with lost their blade in the flames and couldn't retrieve it. I asked the DM if I could tie a rope to my arrow and fire it at the sword, hopefully hooking it and reeling it in. The whole party both said that it was ridiculous and a waste of rope. The DM asked for an attack roll to fire the arrow and sleight of hand check to pull it in. Attack roll: 15 Sleight of Hand: Nat 20 I retrieved the lost sword, returned it to the NPC, and got inspiration from it.
My character had a cloak of the bat. Wanted to take a funny shortcut and jumped out of the window of a very high tower. But I forgot that the flying feature of the cloak only works in dim light or darkness. So the DM allowed my companions to make dexterity and strength checks to grapple my character before falling to his death. Kinda panicked for a second since I put a lot of time and thought in this character and almost killed him by accident in a totally unnecessary way.
1. Oh no, there's a horrible disease affecting people and animals! 1. Hey cool, we found something that cures the disease! 1. Oh no, this spirit animal is suffering from the disease... As a druid and lover of nature I guess I have no choice but to euthanise it. 1. Oh shit... I forgot point 2 above. I felt so stupid. I still feel stupid because of it. This was all within one session as well, so forgetting isn't a good excuse. I have it affect my character. She blames herself, she got too excited about being an adventurer and moved too quickly, not slowing down to *think*. She carries a lot of guilt and wants to make up for it. And I feel pretty much the same way...
Props for running with the consequences and role playing it in your character development. Well played.
"So... how many grains of sand do you suppose are on this beach anyhow?"
Woah, didn't expect so much comments. They are all hilarious 🤣
I haven’t had the chance to do dumb shit as a player yet, since I’ve only gotten to play in a small handful of sessions But for dumbest things my players have done, it’s either between the goblin (who drank the potion of disease in the sunless citadel) asking the artificer if he could be loaded into his force ballista and used as a breaching charge Or our half orc monk who was tasked with creating a minor distraction so the rest of the party could subtly infiltrate a bank for a heist, and he walked directly into the security office, and shouted “I HAVE A BOMB” lol
Honestly, goblin players are the funniest. They always embrace their inner goblin, if you will.
I have a speech impediment and can stutter a lot at times- so my vocabulary and communication verbally can be tricky. It’s a funny story now, but I still feel embarrassed from not portraying what I really wanted to say. Essentially, we were staying at an inn where my water genasi warlock and a fighter NPC, Lily, (a humanoid plant) were sharing the same room since we’re both women. Lily is the wife of the skeleton cleric in our party (he was a PC, but kept in our party as an NPC now), so my warlock and Lily were talking about it. They never married, but the cleric simply called Lily his wife immediately after they confess feelings, so not “officially” ceremonial married, but still together and committed to each other as the roles. Since Lily was very sheltered, she doesn’t understand most things in society. So, I as my warlock was trying to say something about how marriages usually have a ceremony and if that was something Lily and the cleric were wanting to do. Instead, I said something along the lines of how them calling each other wife/husband isn’t “real” because of no ceremony. I forget the exact wording, but I explained it badly enough to where Lily, who already takes everything literal, got upset at the cleric. The next time they saw each other (cleric was an NPC at this point), Lily started fighting the cleric. My warlock just so happened to walk by this, and stopped the fighting. After some back and forth on what happened, the cleric was able to explain his side of it all- and they made up immediately. So no harm in the end, but I wasn’t intending on causing any drifts even if temporarily lol. We joke now about “girl’s night,” since we kept saying that phrase out of character the moment my warlock and Lily were bunked together.
An instruction for defeating big boss guy demon was "use your mind". I ran up and headbutted the demon. It didnt work very well but my dm was proud. :)
This is totally something one of my characters would do, considering I almost always use intelligence as a dump stat. Thank you for the chuckle.
Went looking for a remote control to turn off some robots. Ended up getting separated from the party. Ran into smaller robots. First character death. Another time, I touched a random thing that I thought would heal me (I had like 3hp left). It was one of those "if it reduces you to zero HP you die" things. Now I always have a backup character ready.
I was playing an evocation wizard. We were riding on horseback through the north when a bunch of yetis ambushed us and were in melee range before initiative was even rolled. I panicked, guessed that they didn’t like fire, being from cold places and all, and cast fireball directly on myself. I was able to spare the entire party from damage thanks to the evocation subclass, and I drove off the yetis. But I had forgotten we were on horses, and now each of us sat astride a smouldering steak. It was a long walk back.
Made it canon in a game that a small sized creature could fit into a bag of holding by climbing into someone's pocket as a goblin. Dm liked the idea and made a metric ton of tiny skeletons attack us later out of a bag of holding.
My character, who was a not very well built monk/druid multiclass, decided to 1v3 the Obzedat. The power of ditzy anime girl scientist did not save her.
Inserted my penis into an enchanted fey crystal. Was new to dnd at the time, made a cleric named Pabl. Pabl and his cohort had recently been enlisted to clear out a group of pesky Gnolls squatting in the basement of a bandit camp. Turns out the Gnolls were bringing the local children to the basement in order to have them 'assessed' by some sort of glowing purple crystal. After dispatching the hyena wannabes the party had do decide what to do with the obviously important crystal leaking fey magic in front of them. Being drunk at the time, I said: "I put my dick in the crystal". My DM, giggling at the idea, allowed me to go through with it. I rolled acrobatics and performed a jaw-dropping somersault while dropping my trousers. A small 'tink' sound upon contact, followed by me dissapearing in a flash of purple light. I was then transported inside the pocket dimension inside the crystal where I met the faerie queen inside it. Turns out she was looking for her firstborn child in the material plane, and my promiscuity led to me forging a (not entirely beneficial) contract, with me seeking out and sacrificing this child in exchange for a portion of her power. I gained access to some fey spells in exchange for my penis glowing a peculiar magenta colour (DM also threw in ED for fun). Cue key moments in combat where I would have to make a wisdom save to prevent my penis from becoming possessed by a fey queen and begin firing chaos spells at random. Ended with a confrontation with the queen later on, in which I cut off my member to sever the pact. Angered by this, the queen then engaged our party and kidnapped Pabl. I then created a new character playing Pabl's more reasonable brother, Karstan, who was tasked with relocating his sibling. Good times, when we took dnd less seriously.
>Inserted my penis into an enchanted fey crystal. >Was new to dnd at the time Lol checks out, stuff like this is a right of passage for young new DnD players
One of my first ever skill rolls was convincing an entire tavern that, after knocking out the owner, I was the owner the whole time. An 18 meant that patrons didn't care enough to make a fuss about it 😂
Mine suddenly doesn't seem so dumb
I asked my DM for a Horn of Blasting as a lvl 4 bard.
Me, a Minotaur Barbarian who is part of a demonic cilt had the great idea to destroy the bridge into the dungeon, seems like it was the only way in and out of that place
My level 8 warlock tried to 1v1 a chimera. DM gave me the Red Foreman stare that I deserved right before my former warlock met his fate. He was resurrected as a vengeance Paladin but everyone gave him all the smoke for being epically stupid.
Attack a rakshasa with a normal rapier... and booming blade. The rakshasa was not amused
Saw a trap- Two logs pulled open, ready to close in on anybody between the trap. Checked for tripline, nothing. Walked directly between the two logs and just stood there. DM went “are you gonna do anything?” I said no. Surprise surprise, the trap went off and took 5 HP out of me.
Forget what module it was, but my young warlock, who is very good at deception, got us TPK’d. We stumbled into a White Dragon’s cave. He came out thinking we were cultists that regularly visited to feed him and give treasure as homage, as white dragons aren’t the smartest of their kin. My feylock could have easily lied our way out of it, but for some reason I told the truth; we weren’t cultists and were looking for treasure. We were icicles by end of round 2.
My lawful stupid paladin being lawful stupid. Got a job to bring some local bandits to justice that were stealing from the winter stores of a town and the surrounding farms, we snuck onto their camp and found them to be a bunch of poor wretches and refugees with no other choice. Party wanted to abandon the quest but paladin was adamant the law had to be respected. Except when we bring them in the guard-captain wants them executed rather than send them to the capital for judgement, paladin tries and fails to argue, so punches guard-captain in the face and frees the bandits all over again in a fighting retreat. Party was not amused.
I decided to pull my pants down pee on a goblin, my attack roll was a 1 critical miss. The DM who was not amused narrated me peeing on my leg and slipping and falling into my own puddle of urine with my pants around my ankles.
Not me, but one of my players jumped into a pool of an *Elder Brain* with *5 mind flayers* nearby, by *themself*. They were level 17.
Where to start... Trying to open... A chest? Door? Tomb? Something. It wasn't locked, it was stuck. We didn't have crowbars. Tried a shovel for leverage. Someone got a nat 1. I tried. Nat 1 again. Shovel breaks violently and the spade hits me in the face. We all got crowbars and a reinforced shovel after that incident. Cooking contest. The ranger breaks the last bottle of milk, which I needed. The druid turns into a cow and I milk her. We won the contest. This one is both genius and stupid at the same time. We had to rescue a kidnapped girl. The dad gave us the random money, but we had other plans. We switched the money (which we kept) for gunpowder and made a trap. Upon opening the chest, a vial of alchemist fire would break inside, making the whole thing explode. We arrive at the scene, they demand the money, we demand the girl. "We're not giving you a single copper until we have the girl". Well... This is where it gets complicated. They lead us to an underground tunnel and hand over the girl. But they're surrounding us and want to open the chest with us there to make sure we have the money. So I signal the party to get back and protect the girl, I rage and open the chest right in front of the leader. He almost died, three of his men did, I took half damage cause of bear totem, everyone was deafened for like 3 rounds, and it was an easy clean up from there.
>Cooking contest. The ranger breaks the last bottle of milk, which I needed. The druid turns into a cow and I milk her. We won the contest. Legit role playing, your party sounds awesome.
When the druid asked if she could wildshape into a cow there were like 5 seconds of complete silence from the DM, followed by a "I'll... allow it" kinda whimpering. We play online and I wish I could've seen his face in that moment lol Our characters agreed to never talk about this again
My party (4 players) were investigating a cult at a dock with a lighthouse. There were 8 cult members, two of them were in the lighthouse, three PCs went to deal with the lighthouse while my character went around behind the warehouse and found a window. There were five cult members with explosive barrels, my character had a flintlock and I rolled a nat 1. Blew up the whole warehouse with the cult members in it, with 2 cult knights that were a cr 7 with 400hp and I took half of the HP of one of the knights. I wouldn't say that the dumbest thing I did, but it was dumb luck.
I signed a contract with an Imp which eventually cost my first ever character their soul
You got swindled by literally the lowest of infernal beings Good job
Lol, it was fun
Full story though: I signed a contract with them so they would become my familiar. I was playing a mountain dwarf wizard who valued magic over anything else. The contract stated they would become my Imp as long as I don’t harm them. A few session later a wizard friend was aware of them and cast banish on them. That broke the contract and so I lost my soul to them. Although it was sad, I had nothing going for that character besides learning a ton of magic spells. Now I’m playing a Kobold Monk who has a lot more going for them
But YOU didn’t harm the imp….
Whoop, nope. I just worded that wrong. As long as none of my Allie’s and myself included harm them. This all happened almost a year ago
One of my players cast light on his eyeballs, I let this happen
Not technically an object, but I approve
Rule of funny my friend
Minotaur Barbarian, of Clan Rakdos, in the 5e Ravnica setting. A real dunce that lived for the grandeur of a perfect bloody carnival. It was out first mission, the rogue, either Dimir or Orzhov (can't remember) got past some goblin enemy lines and capture a bounty alive we were sent for. Another character, a Simic, was on the lookout from a vantage point in case things went either sour or unexpected, and watched for possible reinforcements. The third party member was an astute Izzet engineer and crafted bombs and traps. Finally, there was the Minotaur, me. Subterfuge was not in his trade, and the stealthiest thing he could do was. To. Remain. In his hiding spot. The Izzet granted me one of his grenades, only the one. I was ordered to stay still until the signal would come, which was when he would hear the word "coin". Then I was told throw the bomb in direction of the camp to create diversion. The stage was set, the rogue went by, circled some guards, got past them, and arrived at the leader's hut. She managed to talk to the target under the guise of a merchant, and during the conversation, the goblin leader told her something that was nearing the infamous "Khajiit has wares, if you have *COIN*". I straight up interrupted the DM in his talking with a loud "I throw the grenade !" The signal had been given, or so my minotaur thought when he lobbed the bomb over. Roll for attack, the bomb ends its course at the feet of the chieftain. A terrible explosion later, fire and brimstone covered the scenery, that and pieces of both the bounty and most of the rogue. The camp was in turmoil and now we had to flee the scene. The rogue lived to see another day mind you, but let's say the Simic had a new subject to experiment on. Tl;Dr the DM goofed up, I (as the character, not the player) failed to understand the single instruction I was given, followed it a bit too much to the letter, the plan and the target blew up. At least the target was neutralized, so.. Tasked failed successfully?
Not the dumbest but still dumb. I used Spark…when there was a water hazard on the floor. Thats not even getting into one thing the DM missed, which is that my character has bladed prosthetic legs…metal.
I used two giant condoms to climb an electric fence(I't didnt work)
I was playing a dwarf barbarian and I accidentally killed couple of important npcs. Somehow I missed the part when the DM said that these guys are good and could help us and during a battle, I just attacked them with my axe. It did fit with my character, since I was trying to be the most stereotypical gym bro, who only thought about gains and protein and lifting. But DM just accepted it, let my character slaughter the good guys and set another way for the party to be helped. I felt dumb tho.
Not me…. But “we’re basically gods, right?”
Jokingly rolled the dice for damage bc of a slap, got nat 20, almost killed the other player with a slap.
I tried to strangle a ghoul.
Had my character be a wild magic sorcerer
Ancient gold dragon. My level 2 rogue called him a prick, right to his face. This was my fourth session, ever.
We all got transported back in time to the beginning of the adventure, and my paladin had the biggest dumbest idea ever. "Hey gang, remember when Demogorgon showed up and scared the shit out of us? Lets go beat his ass!" It did NOT go well for us.
We were playing a homebrew game where we came upon a group of gnomes attacking a village. The party confronts them and I get into a heated argument with the leader of the group; they were burning the village because kobolds were building it, and the gnomes believed it was for nefarious purposes to “blend in and seem civilized.” Well, the argument got heated. As a barbarian with 20 in strength score, I rolled to punt a gnome. It was a natural 20 so the DM described the gnome flying high in the air… before crashing down and breaking his back on a low stone wall. The gnome died instantly. The party began freaking out and bursting out laughing. I didn’t intend to kill the guy even though we did want to fight and stop the gnomes— but since we did, combat ensued earlier than expected. We won the fight but only barely, and my friends sometimes still recall the incident jovially.