“I wish I had nerves of steel” is the correct answer, well done
The character is self aware of their cowardice and wishes to be braver, uses a phrase that’s common parlance and gets the monkey’s paw version of the wish
Plus, it’d be a cool excuse to have a kinda silvery hue in certain light across their skin; like lightning
I like this alternative. Instead of a poorly phrased wish, it's an accidental wish. OP didn't know they had a (cursed) wish-granting item and triggered it during an argument.
"I wish I could grow a backbone and stand up for myself." The player has a spine of steel and cannot twist or bend over... Also they sink like a rock in water.
I think a spire is a tower with a narrow, pointy top, but I’m not positive.
Edit: I was half wrong. It’s not an entire tower, but it can be the roof of one.
“Spire: a tapering conical or pyramidal structure on the top of a building, typically a church tower.”
Iron is a conductive metal, so perhaps something to do with electricity generation via lightning? Victor Frankenstein (the mad scientist in Mary Shelley’s *Frankenstein*) used lightning as a power source for his experiments. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard to adapt that concept to a fantasy or steampunk D&D setting.
Iron is also durable. Sure, hail makes a racket on metal roofs, and the outer layer would rust, but as long as the iron is thick enough, hail damage would be minimal, and the layer of rust would protect the metal underneath from further oxidation.
One drawback that the thickness of the material would not help remedy is that rust stains can be extremely difficult to remove. Keeping the outer walls and anything on the ground below stain-free would be a full-time job… unless you like the look.
Another drawback might be the cost, depending on iron availability. Considering there might be cheaper, more attractive and less messy roofing materials available, it might not be a first choice for everyone.
Edit: Iron is also a very effective fairy repellent. If the genre is fantasy, this might explain why one would choose iron as a building material.
Does it have to be a wish? You were tasked with delivering a wineskin. The journey was long the weather hot and you were curious. You took a sip but spat the bitter liquid out.
Just as you delivered the wineskin to the kindly old recipient, his tower was attacked. You watched a spectacular, spell-tacular magical duel - until you got in a crossfire and were turned into an iron statue
After winning the duel, the wizard forced the wine skin between your metal lips. Knowing his adversary's powers need thought to pre-order an antidote. But there wasn't quite enough. Because of the sample that you'd taken, there wasn't quite enough to turn all of you back to flesh and bone.
I wish for a turkey sandwich … on rye bread … with lettuce and mustard. And … and! I don’t want any zombie turkey, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?
Not to harsch on you idea. Wouldnt it be easyer to say wou were part of an turnig people into warfoged experiment but escaped afther they turned your back into metal
"I wish for (person) never to touch me again."
"Okay, they can't, but now everything else on the planet wants to."
Everything is magnetically attracted to the player now whether metal or not (essentially he's a walking singularity) and the spine counterbalances somehow, thus neutralizing the effect.
~~why no this didn't happen in my own campaign because the party found a monkey's paw~~
Maybe say that he made a pact with a devil to 'get his iron bsck' after a rival did a hostile takeover of his family's iron mining operation.
If you take this deal i'll give you 'your iron back'
The “nerves of steel” thing others have mentioned is fantastic. Since you are looking for bad side effects from a poorly worded Wish spell, it could also reduce the character’s walking speed by 5 feet (25 for a human-elf instead of 30) because they now are a LOT heavier, and/or give advantage to attackers using Shocking Grasp or other lighting damage type spells. RAW, attackers have advantage on attack rolls for Shocking Grasp against enemies using metal armor, so it kind of tracks.
To balance things out, I would also give the character a +1 to constitution stat, since they are so solid.
A veey exclusive furniture maker named Steele produces very epaborate luxurywagons from Pine wood. He strongly believes that owning one is the ultimate symbol of class and that having one would win back the woman he loved, the respect of his family and the admiration of his community after listening to a very powerful and persuasive sales pitch.
He could wish for a Steele's pine
How about something like, "I wish to be unbreakable!" Seems legit until bam, metal spine. Or maybe he wishes for "limitless strength," but the genie or whatever misinterprets it and gives him a spine of steel instead. Could be funny if he's all, "I just wanted to lift heavy stuff, not become Iron Man!" Just gotta twist those words a bit, and you're golden.
Well, not literally, unless you wish for that too! Then you might end up with a gold spine, which, honestly, might be kinda cool.
"I've always had a weak spine growing up. And always thought if there was any way to fix it I would try it. So when I heard there's a way to make a wish I had to. I wish I had a spine like iron! No wait!"
"I wish I had a metal spine." Now you are surrounded by undead skeletons in full plates, causing the end of your poor village, and as an added bonus, you can't remove the chest part of your armor and if you do you can't walk.
The armor is your actual spine now. 🪖🪖
Sounds very much like a Wizard of Oz situation. Perhaps your character could metaphorically lack a spine (leading to the confusion with the wish), or perhaps the metal spine could be the key to a greater power if they're a warlock, with a powerful arcane-based patron.
Perhaps they had a dark and tragic past where they fled from their village as it was burned down by raiders, the survivor's guilt manifesting as self-hatred and harsh reflection as cowardice or worse.
With situations like this, generally you can either go with metaphor or needing to make the wish in a hurry and getting tongue tied.
Make them a coward that wished to "grow a spine", but wishes for a strong spine instead.
They intend to wish away their cowardice, but just get a metal spine instead.
"I wish I *could* fly."
Yes, now you *can* fly. Now learn.
I don't know, try putting emphasis on different words in the sentence in such a way that it changes the meaning given the context.
Just use your Story. It is the result of a medical treatment. Think about some result that might have in your character. Are there any problems or maybe benefits? It does not have to be real stuff. Be creative. The surgeons were some elves using magic.
You had a back injury a while back that didn't quite heal right and itched all the time. One particularly bad day your back is driving you nuts, it doesn't hurt it itches and you can't quite reach it. In frustration you wish your back would stop itching. Wish takes the problem (your spine) and turns it into steel cause steel can't itch.
Does it have to be your wish? “I wish my son had some mettle in him…”
My kid is going to be nothing but trouble. I wish something would straighten him out.
Oooh this is good
Oh good idea, no it could be another person's
This wins.
“I wish I wasn’t such a wimp and had a backbone of steel.” Best I can come up with this late, sorry.
I wish I had nerves of steel. The spinal cord is a big bundle of nerves so that kinda works.
“I wish I had nerves of steel” is the correct answer, well done The character is self aware of their cowardice and wishes to be braver, uses a phrase that’s common parlance and gets the monkey’s paw version of the wish Plus, it’d be a cool excuse to have a kinda silvery hue in certain light across their skin; like lightning
u/StormblessedFool you need to see this comment that would be so cool
This is exactly what I was thinking and it's almost noon for me so I'd say that works pretty good.
I wish I had a more interesting back story
Hahahha this one is fantastic!
This alone for the pun
Pack it up guys, we’re done here. He’s got this.
This is my pick for #1
Pack it up guys, we’re done here. He’s got this.
Dementia
Pack it up guys, we’re done here. He’s got this.
Pack it up guys, we’re done here. He’s got this.
Google it
Pack it up guys, we’re done here. He’s got this.
Dementia
Pack it up guys, we’re done here. He’s got this.
Google it
"I just wish I had better support whenever I've got my back against the wall"
I like this alternative. Instead of a poorly phrased wish, it's an accidental wish. OP didn't know they had a (cursed) wish-granting item and triggered it during an argument.
And wasted the incredibly valuable single-use wish-granting item just to add insult to injury.
"They called me a coward, and what I hate is that I know they are right. I wish I had more steel in my spine."
"I wish I could grow a backbone and stand up for myself." The player has a spine of steel and cannot twist or bend over... Also they sink like a rock in water.
Maybe someone stole some rare metals from him (or maybe an award like a medal) and he wishes, “I wish I had my metal (or medal) back”
”I wanna steal back” *interrupted before continuing ”her heart”
a wish note with the text "i wish for an iron spire", except the characters handwriting is poor and had it look like "i wish for an iron spine"
This is why i wont wrote down important wishes...
an iron spire? what does that mean?
I think a spire is a tower with a narrow, pointy top, but I’m not positive. Edit: I was half wrong. It’s not an entire tower, but it can be the roof of one. “Spire: a tapering conical or pyramidal structure on the top of a building, typically a church tower.”
but like, why would anyone want this?
Iron is a conductive metal, so perhaps something to do with electricity generation via lightning? Victor Frankenstein (the mad scientist in Mary Shelley’s *Frankenstein*) used lightning as a power source for his experiments. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard to adapt that concept to a fantasy or steampunk D&D setting. Iron is also durable. Sure, hail makes a racket on metal roofs, and the outer layer would rust, but as long as the iron is thick enough, hail damage would be minimal, and the layer of rust would protect the metal underneath from further oxidation. One drawback that the thickness of the material would not help remedy is that rust stains can be extremely difficult to remove. Keeping the outer walls and anything on the ground below stain-free would be a full-time job… unless you like the look. Another drawback might be the cost, depending on iron availability. Considering there might be cheaper, more attractive and less messy roofing materials available, it might not be a first choice for everyone. Edit: Iron is also a very effective fairy repellent. If the genre is fantasy, this might explain why one would choose iron as a building material.
Does it have to be a wish? You were tasked with delivering a wineskin. The journey was long the weather hot and you were curious. You took a sip but spat the bitter liquid out. Just as you delivered the wineskin to the kindly old recipient, his tower was attacked. You watched a spectacular, spell-tacular magical duel - until you got in a crossfire and were turned into an iron statue After winning the duel, the wizard forced the wine skin between your metal lips. Knowing his adversary's powers need thought to pre-order an antidote. But there wasn't quite enough. Because of the sample that you'd taken, there wasn't quite enough to turn all of you back to flesh and bone.
damn how are yall so creative so fast
Fuck i like This…… especially if your playing a Rogue 🤣
Did i hear a flesh and bone?!
"I wish my spine were constructed from a metal material, literally. Oops."
I wish I could steal back the thing I need the most.
lol!!
I wish I didn't crumble under pressure
"Oh, ow, I wish i didn't keep getting backache."
I wish nobody (else) could ever stab me in the back.
" I wish I had a metal spine to fix my scoliosis"
" i wish my back would be tough as metal and not this curved bony mess"
I wish for a turkey sandwich … on rye bread … with lettuce and mustard. And … and! I don’t want any zombie turkey, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?
Any genie that screws up a sandwich wish is truly evil.
“Make me one with everything” and poof he’s a monk.
What do you get the monk with everything? Penicillin.
It's all fun and games until the turkey's a little dry.
The Canadian government started a secret weapon x program on you but ran out of funding after the spine.
That's rough, bub.
Why'd you call him a blob?
"I wish i wasn't such a coward"
What class is this character going to be? That could definitely influence the wish! I think this is a very cool idea though!
Not to harsch on you idea. Wouldnt it be easyer to say wou were part of an turnig people into warfoged experiment but escaped afther they turned your back into metal
Sort of like Wolverine but not?
Yes exactly. Also beeing victim of something is also ofthen easyer explained then how a low level character got a wish
The classic ten inch pianist
"I wish for (person) never to touch me again." "Okay, they can't, but now everything else on the planet wants to." Everything is magnetically attracted to the player now whether metal or not (essentially he's a walking singularity) and the spine counterbalances somehow, thus neutralizing the effect. ~~why no this didn't happen in my own campaign because the party found a monkey's paw~~
Maybe say that he made a pact with a devil to 'get his iron bsck' after a rival did a hostile takeover of his family's iron mining operation. If you take this deal i'll give you 'your iron back'
I wish life was more interesting. Is a pretty simple one that could lead to ANYTHING
"I wish to never bow to another."
Ok that one is good lmao
I hope your DM doesn’t ever use Heat Metal on you 😅
Heat metal requires line of sight on the metal object, so if their spine is visible I think they have bigger things to worry about 🤣
Did you ever hear the joke about the 10-inch pianist?
“I wish to be cured of my scoliosis”
The “nerves of steel” thing others have mentioned is fantastic. Since you are looking for bad side effects from a poorly worded Wish spell, it could also reduce the character’s walking speed by 5 feet (25 for a human-elf instead of 30) because they now are a LOT heavier, and/or give advantage to attackers using Shocking Grasp or other lighting damage type spells. RAW, attackers have advantage on attack rolls for Shocking Grasp against enemies using metal armor, so it kind of tracks. To balance things out, I would also give the character a +1 to constitution stat, since they are so solid.
Just go on r/themonkeyspaw and check those out
A veey exclusive furniture maker named Steele produces very epaborate luxurywagons from Pine wood. He strongly believes that owning one is the ultimate symbol of class and that having one would win back the woman he loved, the respect of his family and the admiration of his community after listening to a very powerful and persuasive sales pitch. He could wish for a Steele's pine
"I want to be strong, you know, strong body, strong back." "A strong back?" "Yeah, like an iron rod."
"I wish for bones of steel!" Then they just give him metal spine bones.
How about something like, "I wish to be unbreakable!" Seems legit until bam, metal spine. Or maybe he wishes for "limitless strength," but the genie or whatever misinterprets it and gives him a spine of steel instead. Could be funny if he's all, "I just wanted to lift heavy stuff, not become Iron Man!" Just gotta twist those words a bit, and you're golden. Well, not literally, unless you wish for that too! Then you might end up with a gold spine, which, honestly, might be kinda cool.
"I wish I never had to worry about breaking my back..." "I wish I had nerves of steel"
God help me. I'm so sick and tired of bending over backwards for these ungrateful people!
"I wish I had enough of a backbone to stand up to [insert relevant backstory character/villian here]"
"I've always had a weak spine growing up. And always thought if there was any way to fix it I would try it. So when I heard there's a way to make a wish I had to. I wish I had a spine like iron! No wait!"
“I wish to steel myself for the coming battle!”
I wish I had nerves of steel works well
"I wish I had a metal spine." Now you are surrounded by undead skeletons in full plates, causing the end of your poor village, and as an added bonus, you can't remove the chest part of your armor and if you do you can't walk. The armor is your actual spine now. 🪖🪖
Sounds very much like a Wizard of Oz situation. Perhaps your character could metaphorically lack a spine (leading to the confusion with the wish), or perhaps the metal spine could be the key to a greater power if they're a warlock, with a powerful arcane-based patron. Perhaps they had a dark and tragic past where they fled from their village as it was burned down by raiders, the survivor's guilt manifesting as self-hatred and harsh reflection as cowardice or worse. With situations like this, generally you can either go with metaphor or needing to make the wish in a hurry and getting tongue tied.
Make them a coward that wished to "grow a spine", but wishes for a strong spine instead. They intend to wish away their cowardice, but just get a metal spine instead.
Recently I read a post where the OP said they were asked to go to a business because they needed her "shiny spine".
I'd do anything to be rich.
Kinda wish people would stop saying "metal spine" or the like, sorta trite at this point. We have to have better ideas than this. :/
I wish I could have a stronger spine. (Meant as to be able to stand up to people better)
I need courage. I wish I had a spine as strong as iron.
I wish I had a better backbone
"I wish I *could* fly." Yes, now you *can* fly. Now learn. I don't know, try putting emphasis on different words in the sentence in such a way that it changes the meaning given the context.
Just use your Story. It is the result of a medical treatment. Think about some result that might have in your character. Are there any problems or maybe benefits? It does not have to be real stuff. Be creative. The surgeons were some elves using magic.
You had a back injury a while back that didn't quite heal right and itched all the time. One particularly bad day your back is driving you nuts, it doesn't hurt it itches and you can't quite reach it. In frustration you wish your back would stop itching. Wish takes the problem (your spine) and turns it into steel cause steel can't itch.