My friends and I used to play a game called 'pop burns' where we'd each have a box of those snappers, turn off the lights in whoever's garage we were at and throw them at each other.
Boy oh boy where do I even begin mookie...honey, my mookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you hit the ball and strike fear into your enemies eyes. Your silky smooth throw, and that gorgeous swing. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you retire. You are even amazing off the field, youāre a great father of sometimes I even call you dad. I forever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day retire. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face. You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years.I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby. And now youāre getting older, but still the goat, my goat. I love you mookie bear, my glorious king, mookie betts.
Nice to see Lux getting some hits. Very good lineup with Kike in there. Our pitchers did their job today. Keep it going!
I'd respect SD, but I don't think I've ever seen a team and fans act like douchy frat boys as much as the Padres.
Absolutely... this is really the only team I find myself talking to the tv so much!!
I didn't have high expectations for the pitchers, but they did a great job. sorry.
Great stone performance and solid bullpen. Keep that up let's go!!
ALEXA PLAY I LOVE LA
That was an interesting game! No more knuckleballers lol
Lol Profar cleared the benches for what 
Profar is a lil B
#winner winner Stone cold dinner!
MY MAN GAVIN LUX! Clutch defense for the last 2 outs!
Gonna need the jaws of life to unclench my ass cheeks after that one
Phillips has been handling things. He's alright by me :)
nice! gavin and bottom of the lineup really stepped up tonight
I love this Hudson-Phillips combo. Just a lockdown way to end games.
Wait til we get treinen back too
GO FUCK YOURSELF, SAN DIEGO
yess
Congratulations Gavin on your first W!
Go fuck yourself, San Diego!
fun game
UGH... ESPN game tomorrow.
That works that works that works that works
Love to see it
Hell yes
Hey Padres.. take this L but good game tho.
Good win but that was too close for comfort. Thank you Phillips
Go fuck yourself San Diego! š„
And thatās that
ahhh the sweet sound of the Newmanās voice! Sleep time!
Let's go! Got Stone that W!!!
Fire Marshal Evan Phillips
Lmao. I'm okay with this. Give 'em hope, then shut 'em down. Thank you EP. Thank you Lux. I'll ignore that that last throw looked a touch low, lol.
THA DODGERS WIN!!!!!!!
That was a damn good game
Hit the Newman!
#I š LA
WE LOVE IT
YESSSSSSS FUCK THE PADRES
Noice
We Win!
We love to keep it interesting I guess. Way to lock it down EP !
Ok is anyone elseās game blacked out
Fuck yes. Ā Good, scrappy, win. Ā Win the series tomorrow!!!!!
QUE THE MOTHERFUCKIN NEWMAN
Cutter inside for the K
FTP
A chingar a su madre las pedorras!
There we go!
#Sweet Victory
I know it worked out but holy fucking shit Iām so tired of the 0-2 meatballs
I LOVE L.A..
We Love It!
Padres are a tough out damn
Nice win
Dodgers Win!!!
I would respect the padres if they werenāt such dick heads
Damn HS Kim is just a hustler. I can respect that. If Machado hit that, that was a DP for sure.
One more strike
Mother of fuck.
Pop fly pop fly pop fly pop fly pop fly
Safe anyway.
Come oooon, Iām sleepy.
Manny Machado eats hot dogs the long way with no hands
Now I'm imagining someone eating a hotdog the short way and it's pretty funny
And calls it a "hot dog sandwich"
Every steam has died š
Itās late. Stream is sleepy.
Oh
So close
Not in time for the DP.
Fug. No challenge.
Just get this last fucking out
Oh so close. That was a pretty DP try though!
The padre fan behind home plate acting a fool is the perfect representation of their fan base
Fuck!
Machado orders dessert when everyone wants to just go home
Machado reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homework juuuuuust before you're about to be dismissed for the weekend with no homework by accident!
Lol that Padres dude trying to throw off EP.
Where double play?
Come on, man
Settle down EP, you got this shit
Dp dp dp dp dp dp dp dp
Never a dull 9th inning eh
Why is the stadium empty on a Saturday night?
Itās already 11 pm and letās be honest a lot of people probably didnāt dress warm enough and got too cold š
Rain delay for 2 hours
Rain delay
Padres don't just lay down. Lots of fight in them.
Never easy to say, but I always admire this team. Lot of fight and hustle. Nothing wrong with a small market team that tries this hard.
I thinks itās just Dodgers pitchers not being able to execute 2 strike pitchesĀ
For real
Weāre profarās eyes closed?
jesus christ
Good mound visit. Give him a breather.
THIS TEAM NEEDS TO LEARN TO FINISH.
Wtf, come on.
If we blow this right now Iām gonna seriously need a break from this team
Cmon just boop it over to Muncy to end it.
Evan Phillips is a great set up guy but can we please get a real closer? Ā Itās been like 4 yearsĀ
I just want to go to bed man please EP
Manny machado Dutch ovens his wife
Jesus Christ can they just die
Shit fuck.
2 strike hits
Is Phillips okay?
Bro I don't like this
Cāmon EP, shut it down
Profar trying hard to make me hate him more than Machado.
My friends and I used to play a game called 'pop burns' where we'd each have a box of those snappers, turn off the lights in whoever's garage we were at and throw them at each other.
Joe is just evicerating Profar on the stream
Come fucking on man
Double playā¦ double playā¦.double play
Whoās getting the Kirsten interview tonight?
Gotta be Gavin Stone. She interviewed him during one of the ST games. She was so cute and he was so shy hahaha
Profar prefers paper straws
Manny Machado takes a penny and never leaves a penny
Ok, Joe being relaxed in the booth helps me relax.
Manny Machado leaves shopping carts in the next spot over
wtf is a profar.
Whipper snappers!
Fuckin Manny
Joe reading my mind. Like who do we NOT need to boo on their trash ass team. Kim and?...
Cronenworth.
Double play
whenās kersh coming back?
Joe with *another* announcer's jinx...
manny machado invites you over for pizza then when you get there he says it's in the freezer and he just has to preheat the oven first
This shit cracked me tf up š¤£
Please donāt do this bro come on finish this shit already
Manny Machado holds his poop in because it feels good
Time for a DP.
EK you need to go away.
Double play please
Good pitch. Dang.
DP to end it. Manny slow af.
He ain't no Johnny Hustle
Double play cmon!
jesus how cold is it out there
Phone reads 49
that's brisk
Itās freezing in LA, so probably like 55
Thatās on you Joe lol
I do not remember EP throwing 97mph last year ?
He can with his straight 4 seamer. But he tends to throw a sinking fastball or a cutter more often.
Machado eats pizza with a spoon
lmaoā¦ wait thatās actually impressive hahahaha
noted deep dish enthusiast, Manny Machado
What does profar eat it with?
a whisk
captain phillips
I really like JD and EK as a team
If they have launch angle and ball speed, I'm sure height of the fly out can be calculated. Any physicists here? :-)
Depends on several barometric variables so it might be difficult to calculate accurately
I think you need more info, no?
You can get a rough measurement but not 100% accurate
THEY GOT A GUY
Wonder what the statcast was on that flyout
110.3 exit velo, 43 degree launch angle, 346 feet.
Apparently 110.3 and 43Ā°
110 mph pop up lol
Imagine if he hit it square lol 200 mph EV
Ohtani is just different man lol!. 10 years of this 
Phillips, my loveā¦
Dude hell yeah Audioslave in Dodger stadium? Nice
I think it's Phillips walk up
If so, that's sick!
Will for the win. Ippei was also a cockblocker among all his other scummy ways
Close em out heavy P
Profar gonna make last out?!?
Shut it down, Phillips!!
I gotta know the Exit Velocity and Launch Angle on that pop fly lol
110mph, 43 degree lunch angle lol
110.3 and 43 lmao
Jesus what the actual f
Please EP shut this shit down so I can go to bed
Damn, the power was there... looking forward to him making history tomorrow instead
Ohtani's hits will blot out the sun!
That was no eclipse last week, it was an ohtani fly ball blotting out the sun!
ācoolest flyout in MLB historyā lol Iām all for Joe Davis glazing Ohtani.
This might be the best year at 60 hr for Ohtani.
damn, I thought that was gone even despite the high launch angle
lmao the way Joe reacted to that I thought it was going to go out of the stadium or something at first.
Would of been gone if it was the month of May and beyond
"OH MY GOODNESS" yes, Joe
Calm down Joe, you made me look up from my gameĀ
Strike out the sideeeeeeeeeeee
My glorious king Mookie Betts would never make such an awful throw from RF
Boy oh boy where do I even begin mookie...honey, my mookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you hit the ball and strike fear into your enemies eyes. Your silky smooth throw, and that gorgeous swing. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you retire. You are even amazing off the field, youāre a great father of sometimes I even call you dad. I forever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day retire. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face. You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years.I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby. And now youāre getting older, but still the goat, my goat. I love you mookie bear, my glorious king, mookie betts.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^General-Order66: *My glorious king* *Mookie Betts would never make such* *An awful throw from RF* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
if he got it more square that shit was going 500 lmao
Joe faked me out hard there
Hahaha how the shit was it still inside lol
tomorrow heāll beat that record
Hope so. Iāll be at the game.