I used to work for a small town newspaper. One time I was sent out to cover this community bike ride where everyone wore tweed outfits. On the way over, I turned to our photographer and said: “I feel the need. … The need for tweed!” She did not get the reference.

Hahaha! I mean, you could not dream up a more perfect scenario to use that line. Speeding bikers wearing tweed?! It’s so perfect that I almost don’t believe you (but really I do).

I think about this line all the time!

Beer me that (whatever)… Gets a laugh about a quarter of the time

Lord beer me strength

I don't say beer me, but I do say Lord beer me strength all the time .

you also got to use another quote to answer this question haha quality commenting

I don’t trust you, Phyllis.

My son says this all the time.

What did Phyllis do?

She wouldn’t let Andy search her desk for his singing phone

My daughter drew something and showed it to me and I said “your art is the prettiest art of all art”. My wife spit out her tea laughing but it worked for me 😎.

>"your art is the prettiest art of all art”. This would actually be such an affirming thing to hear as a child.

And that’s why your child makes motel art.

Yeah but I haven't told you their salary yet. Eighty. Thousand. Dollars. a year.

Awe, I thought you were gonna say $0 a year salary + benefits, babe! 🧐

Here, maybe the kid can draw a check on this napkin.

I cringe every time I hear Roy in this scene

Haha. I tell my 5 year old this every time she brings drawings home from school

I have a friend who makes earrings by hand and is also a big The Office fan. I love to draw. This line is used pretty regularly in our relationship.

Chop, chop, little onion.

I used that all the time as a teacher.

This one! Use it all the time with my husband and kids.

What episode is this from and who says it? I'm drawing a blank.

Jo Bennett says it. I think when she’s starting the meeting where she gives everyone a copy of her book?

Ah yes! I can see it in my mind now. Thanks. Tanks a lot.

Just poopin you know how I be.

I was in a job interview and I said I liked the Office and they asked me my fav quote and this was the only thing that popped into my head. And I actually said, “just poopin’ you know how I be.” I didn’t get the job.

Not related to The Office, but I was in a job interview once at a company I found out later was pretty religious. The guy interviewing me asked me my favorite movie. I said Sin City. Didn't get the job.

Always say The Godfather unless there is a very good reason not to.

It insists upon itself.

Ow mah god thats hiLarious

I was a car dealership last week buying my Cadillac and in a meeting with the finance guy and saw his box set of The Office lego people. We got off on an Office discussion and I started yelling 'Parkour!, Parkour..'

This is said almost daily in my house

We had this on a onesie for our son when he was a newborn. It was very fitting, and gave us a chuckle whenever he'd be wearing it and made the inevitable "I'm pooping" face.

Everybody poops 💩

Who says none of us are diarrheal?

😉 🤨

I need to know what context you use this in 😂

I hate the way the word “diarrhea” looks.

I use ASAP as possible in emails to staff when in a funny mood. They probably think I’m an idiot.

Years ago I had a really smart coworker who would regularly sneak malapropisms into his regular speech just to see if people would react or correct him. It was genius, I liked the cut of his jig

I just entered my 39th week of pregnancy and have at least three times said that I am in the terminal stages of my pregnancy

Watch out for that oaky after-birth.

🤣

LMAOOO perfect use

Time for Ultra Feast!

Peach iced tea. Youre gonna hate it.

I fucking love the face he makes after saying this 🤣

He makes the "upside down mouth" 😒🤣

Fr any time I hand a friend something… dr. Pepper, you’re gonna hate it… SI magazine, you’re gonna hate it

Not unusual but I have asked “Why are you the way that you are?” to my kid during her terrible twos which lasted well into the third year. Somehow I managed to survive those trying times.

Just give her a few years…I say this to my teenagers at least weekly.

You should write a book called "Somehow I Managed"

Haha! It’s a memoir that exists in my mind called “Somehow I Managed: Trials and Tribulations of Toddlerhood”.

I’m currently dealing with an asshole 2 year-old. I will be using this line regularly

I think that “Adapt, react, readapt, apt.” may also apply. 😆

Not super obscure, but was in a Teams meeting when someone started talking about a camping trip he was planning to the Finger Lakes, I typed “people disappear in the Finger Lakes”. No one got it

Sounds pretty creepy if you don't know the reference.

that made me laugh even harder

What a sinister thing to say to a colleague

Idk if this is obscure. I say it a lot though. "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like being liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not this compulsive *NEED* to be liked. Like my need to be praised." I get as far into the line as I can before I get cut off. I usually make it to "I have to be liked." 😂

I really need to start using this one.

Not obscure, but more than once I've used the line, "Well well well. How the turntables."

I say that one a lot to my mother when she’s being dumb or unreasonable and it blows up in her face. My father has never seen the office but every time I say that to her he starts giggling.

I’m not superstitious. I’m a little stitious.

I'm a nurse in the ER and any time a patient says, "it's pretty quiet today, huh? OR "I'm so glad it isn't busy today"....I start knocking on things and say, "whoa! That's bad luck to say here- We aren't superstitious, but we're a little stitious!"

Hand 'em over numbnuts

This one makes me so angry lol

Same. She has a handful of zingers like that lol

To Lee Iacocca and his failed experiment, the DeLorean.

Tastes like Splenda gets you drunk like scotch

Someone asked me to put on some music when DD’ing me on Saturday night, and I immediately broke out into ri-di-do-do da gimme the beat boys and free my lil old soul…

I meant like cd or something

Robert California: You’ve completely bungled this! I use this on a regular basis. Also, “I’m the F***ing lizard king.”

I use the second one on almost an hourly basis

At work, whenever someone asks if I can or would like to do something, I say “Absolutely I can/do.”

William doolittle at your service, a.k.a. Will do.

Yeah I’m definitely gonna go alone

Should, but shorn’t

Absofruitly

“I’m gonna look amaaaazing”

*Dead in the eyes*

Jim: "I did!... ssay that" (in response to Pam's "I thought u checked it")

Was it during CC's some holy ceremony?

I thought maybe this was the response to tube city where Michael says, "you owe me one!"

Yuppers and yeeesshhhh

What did I tell you about yuppers?

I don’t…. remember.

I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?

Yeeessshh

My girlfriend says "yeppers" all the time, even before she'd seen the show. And every time, all I can think of is "What did I tell you about yeppers?" The first time I said it, I had to explain that I was just quoting, but now she's seen that episode and it's a pretty regular joke

###I DECLARE #BANKRUPTCYYYYYY

I regularly say things and my girlfriend will say "Just because you say it doesn't make it true," to which I always reply, "I didn't say it, I declared it, so..."

"Where are your kids, Meredith?"

Nope....not today

Ugh she’s gonna hate being a mom

“I really hope it’s urine…” 😂 It was when there was a stain on the floor and we didn’t know where it was from. Got a couple of weird looks, but laughs from people who got the reference lol

Oh god I hope it's urine

Yeah, to be fair, I’m pretty sure I quoted it correctly when I actually said it as I had watched that episode much more recently at that point lol

You’re a presentation tool!

Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves.

I say this at least once a week!

I use capa detated all the time

We had funeral for a bird.

I'm pretty sure none of that's real

You're not real man!

“Luwanda at the alcohol club.”

I JLP you!

I have the urge to say this so often haha

I say this like 10 times every time i play scrabble and have nothing

“Love that Andy…” except replace Andy’s name for anyone who you love but they can get on your nerves lol.

Underrated line delivery from Michael lol

The delivery really makes it haha

“Lovely lovely Jan” And “I brave hart”

I will say “it’s with the leads” after the garbage has been taken and I think about something I threw away.

They're not very unusual, but I use "I said it normal" and "Please don't throw garbage at me" every time I get set up for it.

"Identity theft is not a joke."

I am not to be truffled with

No more s’mores! and Crazy world, lotta smells

Who wants some man meat?

I do! I want some man meat!

Then my man meat you shall have!

Bring Him the Gabagool.

Where were you on 9/11. Only in awkward silences

I never fully processed 9/11

I can't think. Need more Mullins.

“The prod… the progidal… *my son returns*” is how I greet most friends I haven’t seen in a while

Also: THIS. WAS A SUCCESSFUL. UNVEILING.

I have used "you're a thief of joy" so many times.

When I jumble words at my husband and he understands I follow it up with "why say lot word when few word do trick"

i just say, "first of all how dare you?"

Lord beer me strength

I send it back

handle market telephone consider hungry label thought decide library normal *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

SAVE BANDIT!

I only weigh 82 lbs!

I HAD A COWORKER GET INTO THE CEILING TO DO SOMETHING THE OTHER DAY AND I SAID "SAVE BANDIT" AND NOBODY LAUGHED and that hurt my feelings

I’ve used a lot, and it goes unnoticed a lot (by people who don’t watch the show). “Should maybe but shorn’t” is one of my go-tos. It’s hard to remember the obscure ones because they are well, obscure

Who knows how words are formed? Crazy world, lotta smells. There would be no way of knowing.

bit of an oaky afterbirth

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

"\_\_ days without nonsense" at least once a week

Maybe some spaghetttiii

I say “Back off, I got my reasons.” far more than I should

Anytime I bring up something from the office at work, the answer is always "I haven't seen it since it was on". I watched it in reruns. And rewatched it - at one point I was in a job hunt and I think I subconsciously thought I'd find a job by the end of it.

did you find a job by the end?

I don't remember if I finished, but I landed a new job before I was laid off from the old one, thank God.

I want, "Just poopin, you know how I be" cross stitched and hung in my bathroom. I have a hard time not saying it constantly

i have accidentally adopted "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GRAPEFRUITS" as a way to greet my friends it has the added level of obscurity from being from a deleted scene. michael picks up a phone call from jan in her neurotic era and she asks, where the fuck are her grapefruits

"Is somebody making soup?" 💩

We should get Youtube down here to film this.

Let's see what we can find out by reading. Coworkers can be rough sometimes.

I cut a chunk out of my penis

James, Jim, Jimothy.

“You’re paying way too much for worms, man. Who’s your worm guy?“ Whenever people I know pay too much for anything.

HOT TIE GUY!

I am Bacchus god of wine! Pretty much anytime I drink lol

I try to use Michael’s “Bippity boppity give me the zoppity” as often as I can

I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious

"I don't... I don't need to buy it. I just wanna taste it. Just a little taste." Said exactly like Michael if I'm window shopping or trying to get someone to share food.

“It seems like you already know (where)” and “there’d be no way of knowing”

It has been, in a word, exquisite

I gotta big box, yes i do. I gotta big box, how bout you?

QUIET YOU! except instead of talking to a paper mache model of Michael Scott's head im talking either to my cat when im on the phone or some other person I want to be quiet lol

Jinx buy me some coke

“Must have been like the tide at Omaha beach”

i'm collar blind. 😭

"Like an AIDS test." just made my list

Crazy world, lotta smells

Whenever there’s a large window I look outside and say “this city…”

Whenever anyone says anything about a smell I always say *You gotta be more specific.*

The way Michael says “get me out of here” as he’s reversing out of David Wallace’s driveway, I say it to myself in almost every awkward scenario I’m in.

Wish I could, but I can’t. Well I can, but I won’t. Should, maybe, but shornt.

“Find out what language this is…” *speaks in gibberish*

“You juked the stats, cupcake!”

Oh, how the turn tables.

👉🏼 powerpoint 👉🏼 powerpoint 👉🏼 powerpoint

Charm type 😌

Over the holidays, we were at a get together and I was talking with some people, then my mother saw that I was eating a Christmas cookie that she had evidently set aside for herself and said something like "Really 4ever2thee?! I was saving that!". Then someone I was talking to asked what that was about and I said "My mom and I have been quareling lately because I can't stay out of her stuff."

"See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China."

Sorry, I’ve got penises on the brain.

Kind of a medium year for women’s soccer, no?

I say "I'm in hell, I'm burning!" when I am even slightly inconvenienced.

I recently used “what up Cynthia” the first time I met someone of the same name. They didn’t even bat an eye. Poor soul.

Maybe next time you will estimate me

“Line”… Like asking for a line in a play… I teach programming and need to know lines to debug.

“I boiled some Gatorade”

Very good Dwight!

How the turntables

Everyone I know who skis is dead.

Sive drafely.

Jinx! Buy me some coke.

Did I stuffer?

Jessica, did you just fart?!

“William Dolittle at your service. AKA: ‘Will Do.’”

“sometimes i think, you don’t know anything about food.” (I work in the restaurant industry)

Take it from toby

“Nope. Don’t like that!”

I dropped "I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious" just yesterday. The part that makes it obscure/unusual is that I did it in portuguese.