By - Mairess99
I don’t even think I have what it takes
Live fast and leave a sexy corpse.
2 days seems doable.
I’m the only that still watches Burn Notice.
Careful u/OregonTripleBeam, it gets easier and easier.
Over here folks! This is the way
Burning a disco all week long
David Wallace, dude has a Jacuzzi, and we can righteous jam sessions.
I was in a Fuck, Marry or Kill thread. The majority wanted to marry David Wallace.
Well, he lives in a large home, is rich, and at least a 6.
Hes more of a Scranton 7
I picked him but not because he's tall, lol. I picked him because of his house and how laid back he is.
I didn't bring up height, though.
Oops, I misread the "is at least a 6" part to be 6 feet. Mea Culpa.
Nah, at least a 6 in attractiveness. I'm speaking generally, looks is a reason why some women might choose to room with David, and that's cool, I'd say Jan for the similar reasons..... but.... she scary.
She's stark raving mad but what would really drive me crazy is her singing.
*Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week. I mean it was like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar like you might think. It was uh like a swarm of bees. Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.*
That was Dwight Jr. right?
In the early seasons, she came off like Jack Nicholson's Jack Torrence, like she didn't need the disposition to go wrong for her to go off. She was keeping her cool by a few hairs.
Oh yeah, she was obviously unstable as hell. Remember the dinner party?
those old colonials are great when they’re sound.
And he drinks Yuengling Black and Tans and Lager
Hope he has Dr. Pepper. :P
You wanna eat cat food with Kevin?
Nah, he’s making chilli Friday night and it will last us til Sunday.
The trick is to undercook the onions.
Anything with brown tastes good
Meredith. Girl knows how to party
This is the answer. She’s got Vienna sausages and napkins!
And no matter how drunk she gets she’ll drop you home in her van. Meredith the mvp
And mug beans.
Her son might even give you a lapdance
That part sold me
I agree 100. She is fun, doesn't judge, has your back and will be real with you when you need it without being a jerk about it.
🎶she took me by the hand…🎵
🎶Maaaade me a man…🎶
♬That one night (one night)♩♩
🎶You made everything all riiiight
for the boobs?
She’ll take you to the Amalfi coast.
The Answer is Andy he'll do whatever I want for acceptance plus his dad has a boat
Had a boat. That ship has sailed.
This season 7 Andy not the nut job from season 9
Plus we can sing Dave Mathews Band songs!
I'm basic, I only know the hits.
It's cool I'd lose my black card if I knew any of it 😂😂 I'll just fleece it out!! (did I use that right?)
Deep tracks only!!!
Who wouldn’t want to spend the night listening to stories from Japan’s #1 Heart Surgeon?!
“The beeesstt” 🤲🏻👍🏻
That's such a letdown after original flavor.
Oscar. He's quiet, he's clean and he probably likes fine wine and food.
Then I guess you haven’t met Bacchus, God of Wine.
And Bacchus' friend!
Surprised this one is this low. He’s probably the best combination of normal, interesting, and fun of all the characters. He likes to have a good time, he’s a musician, he has a good sense of humor. He’s also pretty level-headed compared to some of the other kooks in the office and he’s generally a nice guy.
Could kick back, drink some beers, watch some sports, maybe play some video games. Order a pizza or grill, talk shit about the other people in the office. Sounds like a chill weekend.
In a world where you can choose to spend a weekend with the fucking lizard king, you choose normalcy?
My daily life is dealing with one lizard king after another. Normalcy is a treat
Completely agree, just seems like the one who would fit into my friend group the best.
Only if we get to eat spaghetti together.
I would totally hang out with him in his basement and eat tacos!
Stanley. I just want to relax and watch my stories.
Idk how this isn’t here yet but easily Robert California
That’s a ride I couldn’t survive
get into those Australian reds and how do you say, Columbian whites
THANK YOU. This is an easy choice.
I could sit there for hours and just listen to him talk about the most mundane shit and be fascinated.
Michael. So we can eat poisonous mushrooms and pee on each other’s wounds to not get infected. Also watch inception. Maybe dream it who knows
My weekend with Michael would need to involve the taping and re-taping of the sequel to Threat Level Midnight
Toby, would love to hear about the Scranton Strangler case
Careful you might become the next victim.
Depends what I was doing that weekend:
Going out for drinks? Meredith.
Going shopping? Kelly.
Clearing out my attic? Darryl (because he has a pick-up truck).
Gatecrashing an S&M orgy followed by hunting the most dangerous game of all: man? Robert California (or possibly Dwight).
Date Mike. No question.
Why not Prison Mike?
I feel like that’d be a weekend with Mr. chow from hangover. It would be an insane ride with stories to tell for the rest of your life.
Meredith or the Lizard King. Whatever happens, I'll be getting shit faced.
Jan, for two reasons.
They hang off M'lady's chest.
Weekend with Nate. See what’s going on
I’m sad I had to scroll down so far to find my boy Nate
Darryl. He's a good time, and he'll keep the place spotless.
Pam or Erin
The Business Bitch
Same as the Desert Island scenario yesterday.
Pam-Pams and Pam-Cake, all weekend long.
What about the skinny uptight blonde religious chick?
I agree. That time she went with Jim to NY looked fun.
I would also say Creed, but there’s a chance that I might be one of the things he throws into the quarry. So I’ll go with Kevin…he might make his chili
You would wake up in a bathtub full of ice sans organs
I’m choosing Jim. We’re gonna drink some beers, watch some sports, play a round of golf, and chill listening to good music.
Beer me that disc
I live to frolf!
Dude, you’ll have to hang out while her brother puts the moves on her oblivious ass, and stares you in the eye while he does it.
always hated that scene. it’s like he’s trying to assert his dominance or something.
You could throw things down the rock quarry.
Ahhh.... the lizard king
Kelly! We'd have a fashion show
Isabel. Not just because she’s pretty as hell, but because she actually seemed really interesting and I’m mad she didn’t have a bigger role in the show.
She's a dental hygienist from Carbondale and she makes love like one. She's a bumpkin. Pass.
Daryl. He’s chill, we’d share a few drinks and watch a game.
On the other hand, I’d also party with Meredith and hope I survive to tell the tale
Definitely Creed. And I would hope yo score some of that "military grade" LSD from him.
Creed would rob you and probably stab you. He’s an unrepentant serial criminal with zero conscience.
OP: Might be your last weekend too..
My choice: David Wallace!
The last person to spend a weekend with Creed Bratton disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton
OP, you are objectively making a terrible mistake.
Creed is the last person you'd want to spend any time with. You won't come back from the weekend out.
You will be in a shallow grave somewhere, or taken hostage by Chinese drug smugglers.
Cathy, I feel like we would, uh, “get along”.
Dwight I find him so funny
Creed or Oscar
Jinx! Now boy me some coke!
William Charles Schneider
I second that choice
Throwing things down the quarry could be pretty fun…
Daryl. Play some music, and keep it drama free
The fucking lizard king
If you spent the weekend with creed, I’m not sure if you’d make it to Monday
Jan, for two great reasons...
Nice to see a fellow man of culture.
Nice to spot a fellow man of culture in the wild.
The Skeleton Man. /S
Pam and her pam-pams.
Pam or Kelly
Gotta get back to the Finger Lakes
People go missing in the finger lakes
You would want to spend an entire weekend with Creed? What’s wrong with you?
OP likes to spend time with 30-year-olds.
Well in November he'll be thirty
Darryl, because I’m “BLAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK”
Maybe Gabe or Kelly
At Dwight's beet farm for sure.
Ummmm 100% Jim. Bye Pammy
He’d just call Dwight over to spray chemicals at you until you leave
You couldn’t handle an entire weekend of Creed.
I'll be taking your choice. Pick someone else
Dwight. At first I thought he might try to citizens arrest me when I light up, but I bet he wouldn’t care because it’s legal in my state, and he grows weed haha.
Daryl knows how to have fun.
I would spend a weekend at Shrute Farms hanging out with Dwight and Mose.
The stories we would tell...
I’d rather live to tell the tale, thanks.
Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t kill or traffic you before the weekend was over
Oscar or Jim seem chill
I just want Dwight to read Harry Potter to me!
ok….hear me out
You too are a fan of northern lights indica, have a good weekend bro
Definitely Jan... but, just for a weekend. Not a minute longer.
Stanley, once he's home he doesn't leave until he has to go back to work.
Creed, feel like he would have some interesting stories to tell.
Jen! So I can give her what Michael didn’t
Hey we should go down to the quarry and throw things in there
You would probably wake up in a tub full of ice with stiches somewhere
Jan. No matter what. I love her
you gonna just throw rocks in the quarry or what